‘Try not to bring the entire guard down on yourself’ I mentally begged as I watched Jay fly off with that gryphon. Nothing to be done about it now, I was needed here.

“Princess?” Twilight asked uncertainly when I didn’t move.

“It’s fine Twilight, let’s retire to your library. Pinkie can wait for another day,” I suggested, though my eyes and mind were on the two specks that were about to disappear behind the first trees of Whitetail Woods.

“Sure...they’re going to be okay, you know. You don’t need to worry about them,” Twilight reassured.

“It is not them I’m worried about, you didn’t see the anger in Jay’s eyes,” I replied, tearing myself away from where my husband and the gryphon had disappeared. That admission of carrying illegal weapons had shattered what little trust I had in the gryphon, the only others I had seen doing such things had been the assassins trying to kill me.

I wasn’t blind, I could see that Jay liked this chick. Probably saw her as someone to mentor and teach now that I had ruined that for us, or maybe she was just a temporary stand in for his lost daughter. Either way, I also knew he’d kill her before she could lay a talon on me. I intellectually knew I didn’t need to worry, and yet I found myself doing so anyway.

“I...I don’t have a response for that one,” Twilight confessed.

“Nopony expected you to, we shall have to wait and see how much damage has been done and to whom,” I stated, finally beginning the short walk to the library.

Twilight was the picture of internal conflict as she followed me in silence, periodically opening her mouth to speak and then closing it again as she repeatedly failed to find words for what she felt.

We were at the home of my perplexed student soon enough, allowing both of us to shift our minds onto easier topics, “About last night, what do you remember?”

“I remember Jekyll trying to make it angry, but it got angry with me instead. I remember him carrying me as he ran through the forest. That was what scared me the most, I-I’ve never gone that fast before,” Twilight began.

“Good, and the conflict in the clearing?” I prompted.

“It’s kinda hazy, but I remember hearing Jekyll telling the Ursa to leave; that he didn’t want to kill it. After that it’s just a feeling of needing to make everypony settle down. I’m sorry, I don’t remember how I did that stuff,” Twilight explained apologetically.

“It’s quite alright, I knew you wouldn’t remember much. Had I not gotten distracted earlier today, this may have been more enlightening. But alas, I waited too long. This is my fault,” I confessed.

“I-uh…” Twilight mumbled, once again rendered speechless.

“I know, there’s no reply to that one either. I’m sorry for that too,” I apologized.

“No, it’s fine. I just wish I could remember how I did that, it seems like it could be really helpful,” Twilight lamented.

“I’m sure you still know how to tap your full power, just not consciously. It may very well come to your aid when it is needed, but I wouldn’t waste energy trying to activate it during a normal day,” I advised, pressing my hooves to my temples as I fought through my self induced headache.

“I hope so, especially if my friends and I have to save the world again. No offense, of course,” Twilight replied.

“None taken, potentially world ending threats should be fought with everything you can muster. Even me,” I responded grimly, meaning every word.

“I feel like this is where Pinkie would normally show up and brighten the mood,” Twilight commented.

“Speak not of demons, lest they appear before you,” I quoted, looking at the eldritch beast beyond my student.

“Hiya everypony, why so glum?” Pinkie asked, causing Twilight to jump a full six feet into the air in surprise, “Are we having a slumber party? No, it’s waaaayyyy too early for that. Maybe you’re in here sulking because Twilight went all glowy boom boom and can’t remember how. But that’s probably because neither of you have gotten your invitations yet and invitations are great because they mean that there’s a party soon and parties make everypony happy and smiling and that’s wonderful because- hmphumph amphum mmm.”

“Pinkie, please slow down. What party?” Twilight asked.

“Yours, for defeating the Ursa,” I clarified before the abomination could speak around the hoof I had jammed in her mouth.

“Already? That was last night, how did you throw a party together already?” Twilight asked.

“It’s what I do,” the pink menace answered simply, leaving me confused. I was expecting a longer explanation, or at least a muffled response.

“Twilight...if the thing is over there, what’s on my hoof?” I asked fearfully as my mind connected dots I didn’t want connected.

“Oh that’s just Gummy, he’s an alligator but he doesn’t have any teeth,” Pinkie replied happily, doing little to calm my fears.

“Make it stop, I just want a normal life,” I whined, unable to cope with this insanity any longer.

“Maybe we could just get that invitation please?” Twilight requested.

“Okie dokie, it’s at Vinyl’s club tonight. You’ll know when it’s time,” the demon replied cryptically, disappearing when I blinked in confusion. A glance at my slobber covered hoof confirmed that the alligator was gone too. Small blessings.

“So, that happened,” I commented.

“Uh, yeah. What were we talking about again?” Twilight asked.

“I was hinting that you may need to kill me if I become the Nightmare again and giving you my...permission, for lack of a better word, to do so,” I responded.

“Right, that,” Twilight groaned, regretting her question already.

“It matters not, the subject was concluded well enough. What do you say we get something to eat?” I suggested, catching myself before I could lapse completely into my old verbiage and make a fool of myself.

“Where were you thinking?” Twilight asked, already moving towards the door.

“I recall seeing a bakery down the road, any good?”

“The best, but Pinkie’s probably working the kitchen by now though,” Twilight warned.

“The cafe it is,” I declared as I strode out the door and promptly tripped over something, “Ow.”

“Hiya princess, fancy seeing you again,” a voice I didn’t want to hear greeted jovially.

“Pinkie,” I grunted into the dirt.

“I was just coming back because I ran into Applejack and she wanted me to let you know that she has dinner almost ready and you’re invited because of the thing I’m not supposed to know about with Jekyll and how he’s an honorary Apple now or something, but she didn’t say that last part,” Pinkie rambled.

After a few seconds to process the jumble of words, I was confident that I had the basic gist of what was going on, “Thank you, we’ll head right over.”

“Yeppers,” Pinkie replied before bouncing away.

“A home cooked meal does sound great right now, beats the slop I’ve been eating,” I commented as I picked myself up.

“The slop?” Twilight asked.

“A consequence of my reclusiveness. Abaddon doesn’t have stockpiles of fresh fruit or grains, so I’ve been eating a mush of plant bits that he makes. It’s not bad, but it isn’t filling either. Texture is fairly awful, but it’s what’s for dinner,” I explained with a shrug.

“I can see why AJ’s cooking would bring you running, that sounds horrible,” Twilight agreed.

“I admit I miss real food from time to time,” I allowed.

“So...always?” Twilight guessed, grinning.

“I suppose I could’ve veiled that one better,” I commented to myself, “Come on, I wouldn’t want to be late to the first dinner invitation I’ve ever received.”

“Ever?” Twilight asked as we began walking towards the farm.

“Did you think the focus on my sister is a new trend? Nay; even our parents favored her. Given the customs at the time, I understand why,” I replied, my mood remaining optimistic despite the dark turn our conversation had taken yet again.

“I read about this a long time ago. The first born was always set to inherit everything, leaving the rest with nothing. Second sons were often recruited by local militia’s and the state army while the daughters were typically sold off to other families as political marriages,” Twilight recited.

“Quite true, mother was always searching for some foreign king to marry me to. I suppose that if we ever met again, she’d be pleased with that aspect of my life; for the full second before Jay killed her,” I predicted.

“Would he? That doesn’t sound like something he would do,” Twilight countered.

“Jekyll hates my parents for all the neglect I’ve been treated with. All the little things I was made to endure, the burr on my crown, the lack of proper training in etiquette and self defense, my rather simple education compared to Tia’s. Are you aware that the sun mostly moves itself? It only takes a nudge to keep it going. However, the moon must be forced into position every night, they gave me the difficult job so Tia could focus on finding a mate and running the country,” I ranted, it felt good to get all of this off my chest.

“He’d kill them for that?” Twilight confirmed.

“I don’t know if Jay loves me on some level or if he needs me for some other purpose, but I’m convinced he’d kill anypony that gave me so much as a paper cut,” I replied.

“Remind me never to let you handle any of my books with your hooves,” Twilight responded with genuine fear.

“Worry not, that’s what magic is for,” I comforted with a laugh.

“That still bothers me though, what other purpose could he have planned?” Twilight wondered aloud.

“I get the impression that he’s more of an opportunist than a manipulator, but my guess would be the removal of my sister from his life. He doesn’t seem to want her dead though, so I don’t really know what he’s after,” I guessed.

“Maybe he’s tired of being hated and want’s to use your social standing to elevate his own?” Twilight suggested.

“Hmmm, I don’t think so. He’s still a soldier in his mind, having a positive reputation to that degree would take much of the weight out of his casual threats,” I countered.

“But isn’t he trying to present himself as more than a monster? Why would he do that if he isn’t trying to be accepted?” Twilight pressed.

“You misunderstand his motives. Jay doesn’t care about what the common canterlot pony thinks of him, but Ponyville is his town, his home. He wants to walk around this town freely, with no fear of judgement. Wait, that isn’t right, I’ve seen his reaction to ponies hating him. He didn’t seem to care about them either. It seems I don’t have the answer to that one yet,” I admitted.

“You could ask him,” Twilight suggested.

“I shall, as soon as he returns,” I promised before I realized that I might’ve almost committed a social faux pas, “Um, Twilight, will Miss Applejack be cross if I arrive at her home with another guest?”

“Odd phrasing, but no. AJ plans for extra ponies,” Twilight replied.

“My apologies, I’m nervous and barely keeping myself from reverting to the thee’s and thou’s,” I confessed.

“Why? It’s just AJ, Big Mac, Granny Smith, and Apple Bloom, nothing to be nervous about,” Twilight comforted, or at least attempted to.

“There are four of them?” I managed, feeling a bead of sweat creeping down my forehead. As the droplet rolled around my horn, I stopped to breathe and get my bearings, “I really have become a recluse, having dinner with four ponies shouldn’t make me this anxious.”

“Well, five and a...whatever Jekyll is, but three of those are your friends,” Twilight reminded me.

Twilight’s simple statement reduced my building fear to a mere shadow in the back of my mind, easily cutting through and allowing my to regain my composure, “That’s right, everypony there is either a friend or a family member of one. This will be easy.”

“Are you reassuring me or yourself?” Twilight teased, prompting me to resume our walk.

“Both,” I declared confidently.

“I wasn’t-”

“Tia may have been taught ten times the spells I learnt, but a silence spell is not beyond my power,” I warned.

“Really? Ten ti-” Twilight’s lips continued moving, but no sound escaped her mouth as my spell took effect.

“Glad to have your support,” I replied, ignoring the frustrated looks boring into the side of my head. She’d get her voice back soon enough.

“Twilight. Twilight. Twilight Sparkle,” I repeated, trying to get the silently screaming mare’s attention so I could remove my spell without frightening the family inside. Eventually I gave up and stuffed my hoof in my student’s mouth before dropping my spell, a muffled scream is better than one at full volume, “Twilight! Must you keep doing that?”

I received a blank stare until I removed my hoof, “I couldn’t hear myself, what kind of evil spell was that?”

“Evil? Was being mute so tortuous for you?” I asked in confusion.

“Yes, yes it was. It was almost like being trapped in my mind, I could see and feel but I couldn’t communicate. I started thinking about how much of my research would be lost without my ability to pass it on,” Twilight rambled a bit too quickly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know it would be so horrible for you. I’ve only ever used that spell for pranks...and received it as punishments. Oh Twilight, I’m so sorry,” I apologized, pulling the other mare into a hug.

“Uh, Luna?” Twilight asked after a moment.

“Yes?” I replied.

“AJ’s here.”

“Don’t y’all fret ‘bout me, Ah can see y’all’re havin’ a moment,” a rural voice responded from behind me.

“Miss Applejack, good to see you again,” I greeted as I released Twilight and turned to face the new arrival.

“Been awhile since somepony called me ‘miss.’ We’re all friends here, it’s just ‘AJ,’” Applejack corrected.

“AJ then, I hope you don’t mind me bringing Twilight. We were in the middle of finding some dinner when that pink abomination delivered your invitation,” I explained.

“Huh? Ah asked Pinkie ta get y’all, not Catrix,” Applejack replied, apparently confused as to which pink abomination I was referring to.

“Yes, Pinkie Pie. The one who abuses the laws of physics and magic. That’s the one I was talking about,” I confirmed.

“Yer funny princess, let’s get some grub,” Applejack laughed as she walked back inside, prompting Twilight and I to follow.

I followed the farm mare inside and was surprised to find three ponies bowing in a line just inside the door. Seeing the old mare that could only be Granny Smith struggling to maintain her prostrate position filled me with a sense of humility.

“Please, there’s no need to bow. Set aside the title I haven’t earned and see me for what I am, a friend and guest in your home,” I requested as I stepped forward and kneeled to help the elderly mare to her hooves, much to her surprise.

“Wow sis, you weren’t kidding when you said she was different,” the little one, Apple Bloom, commented.

“Eeyep,” the big one agreed. I blinked when the stallion stood to his full height and looked me in the eyes, he couldn’t have been more than six inches shorter than me.

“You must be Big Mac, I admit it isn’t often I find another as tall as myself,” I greeted, extending a hoof towards the stallion. The large male froze as he stared at my hoof, clearly unsure as to what he was supposed to do. After three seconds or so, I took the option from him and levitated his limp hoof to meet my own. A firm shake later and Big Mac had his hoof back.

“Geeze Mac, never seen you lock up like that before,” Apple Bloom giggled.

“I would assume there was a lingering confusion about the proper etiquette. You were unsure whether I would be offended by a simple hoofshake or if I would think kissing my hoof would be too forward,” I hinted, giving the stallion before me an easy way to maintain his pride.

“Eeyep, that,” Big Mac stumbled, flashing me a shy smile when his sisters turned away to prepare the table. My efforts to help didn’t fully save his pride however, the laughter coming from the kitchen was evidence of that.

“Always knew ya’d find yerself a good mare,” Granny Smith congratulated as she walked past, pausing just long enough to pat the stunned stallion on the shoulder before continuing.

“Before a bad idea can root, I’m married,” I stated when Big Mac’s head spun from his grandmother to me in horror, “But I have family too, sometimes it seems like they exist to embarrass us.”

“Eeyep,” Big Mac agreed gratefully.

“You know, ponies would know if you wore a ring,” Twilight suggested.

“Some day, but the curse of my birth prevents that for now. Damnable politics,” I spat.

“Eeyep,” Big Mac agreed again.

“Dinner’s ready, y’all coming?” Applejack asked loudly from the kitchen.

“Shall we?” I suggested, gesturing towards the doorway. I followed my oversized new friend into the kitchen and found a seat next to him when he sat, going as far as placing my hoof on top of his for his grandmother’s sake.

“Princess?” Twilight asked when she noticed my subtle action.

“Oh hush, do you have any idea how difficult it is for a single mare my size to find an eligible bachelor?” I asked with false terseness, throwing in a wink to clue my student in to my ploy.

“Right, I guess that makes sense,” Twilight replied, smiling a bit too wide as she tried to force herself to seem sincere. She was a terrible liar.

Roaring laughter broke the illusion though as Granny Smith slammed her hoof on the table, “Ah got you both! Ah can’t believe Ah tricked both of you.”

“Granny, what’s goin’ on?” Apple Bloom asked.

“She knows,” I groaned, removing my hoof from Big Mac’s to cover my face.

“‘Course Ah do, yer husband was invited first. Don’t take a genius ta figure out why AJ sent you an invite when he left,” the mare laughed.

“I know actual demons less diabolical than you,” I shot back.

“Is that so? But not all I hope, Ah could use the competition,” Granny Smith bragged.

“I’m sure something could be arranged,” I threatened jokingly.

“Bring it on Moonie, these old bones still got some fight in ‘em,” Granny challenged.

“Granny! No pickin’ fights at the table,” Applejack admonished.

“T’was all in good fun, I took no offense,” I reassured.

“Pshaw, y’all oughta know by now how old mares talk,” Granny replied with a wide smile that matched my own.

“Rainbow might be mah best friend and Ah’ve never talked ta her like that,” Applejack countered.

“Twilight, weren’t you just telling me about how Miss Dash was bragging about how she could outrace any old farm mare with both wings tied behind her back?” I baited.

“She what!? Ah’ll teach that braggart what racin’s all about,” Applejack declared defiantly, much to the amusement of the rest of us.

Now that I knew everypony and my anxiety had evaporated, I could laugh and make merry with my dining fellows freely. And so I did through half of our meal, right until we all went quiet at the sound of the front door opening.

“Yer late,” Applejack accused before the new arrival was even visible.

“Sorry all, I hustled back as fast as I could,” Jay’s voice apologized from the entryway.

“Food’s ‘bout cold by now,” Applejack warned as Jay walked in and took a seat next to me.

“You caught that I normally eat dirt, right? Real food is a gift by itself,” Jay replied as he accepted a plate and utensils. I was mildly surprised to see him actually use a fork to eat rather than just absorbing everything like he usually did. It wasn’t long before my look was noticed, “I do have manners, even if I don’t use them very often.”

“You do?” I asked in mock disbelief.

“Ah’ve never seen ‘im use anythin’ but a knife and fork,” Applejack rebutted.

“Huh, interesting,” I replied with a pointed look at the bioform beside me.

“Are you going to pester me about my eating habits or are you curious at all about that light?” Jay asked.

“Fine, what was it?” I relented. This wasn’t over.

“Nope, too late. You gotta tell me what’s new around here first,” Jay demanded.

“Not much, I waited too long before talking with Twilight and Pinkie invited us to a party tonight before reappearing with the invite to dinner,” I summarized.

“A party you say? Where?” Jay pressed.

“Vinyl’s club,” Twilight answered.

“Jay, yer stayin here,” Applejack declared.

“Whatever,” Jay replied with an exaggerated eye roll.

“Why’s that?” I asked curiously.

“That personality of his would derail parties even before he was openly changin’ shape, gonna be worse now. Y’all should see a Pinkie Party without the chaos this one brings first,” Applejack explained.

“Try’n stop me, party crashing is a time honored tradition among my people. It would be an insult not to show up uninvited,” Jay argued.

“We shall see. Now about that light,” I prompted.

“Some unicorn was messing around with runes, apparently he’s allergic to them or something,” Jay explained.

“Impossible,” Twilight and I said in unison.

“Yep, but there it was. I even tested it myself, shit exploded right in front of me,” Jay insisted.

“There must have been some other factor,” Twilight pressed.

“Ask Arcane Quill, I was just there to get him to stop trying to use runes,” Jay deflected.

“Arcane Quill can’t use runes anymore? I should send him something, he must be really upset about that,” Twilight responded sadly.

“You know him?” I asked.

“We’ve met a few times, he was a researcher at Princess Celestia’s school. His focus was on runes, it was his life,” Twilight explained.

“First Flash and now Arcane? You really get around Twilight,” I commented slyly.

“Jekyll, Bloom knows better than ta repeat what ya say but that’s a might bit far,” Applejack warned as Twilight blushed and tried to hide her reddening face behind her mane.

“I don’t get it, why would that be bad? Miss Cheerilee has a field trip to Canterlot planned, will that make me bad?” Apple Bloom asked worriedly.

“Nah, you’re fine. I was making a joke about how many friends little Twilight here has and implying that she had-”

“That’s enough,” Luna interrupted. Twilight was now trying her best to imitate Fluttershy in the way she was attempting to hide under the table.

“A few special someponies,” I continued anyway.

“Oh, I get it now. You were comparing Miss Twilight to Miss Catrix,” Apple Bloom announced, silencing the rest of the table.

“Before I get kicked through a window, did you learn that before or after the spider thing?” I asked hurriedly as both Applejack and Mac rose with murder in their eyes.

“Waaayyy before, she was there when we met Harry,” Apple Bloom answered, oblivious to her siblings’ rage.

“You really shouldn’t talk to her without an Jay or myself around,” Luna advised before catching the rest of the sentence, “Wait, you’ve met Harry?”

“What’s hairy? Are those damned timberwolves back?” Granny asked, a broom already in her hoof.

“Simmer down Granny, the only pest Ah see is sittin’ at our table,” Applejack replied angrily.

“AJ, the line was crossed months ago. You can buck Cat to the moon if you want, but this one isn’t on me,” I stated firmly, hoping I got through to the pair.

“No more, you watch that tongue of yers,” Applejack warned, prompting my tongue to slither up and press into my right eye.

“Howth that?” I slurred.

“Smartflank, you know what Ah mean,” Applejack spat, holding her angry expression just long enough for Apple Bloom to see she meant business before cracking a smile and sitting back down.

“Well now that I’ve all but ruined my relationship with this family, you were telling us about this Arcane fellow?” I prompted, trying to shift the attention off myself.

“That’s about all I know. He loved working with runes and he was pushing for more funding to expand is research. That’s about it,” Twilight confessed.

“You didn’t hear about the mess with his family?” I asked.

“No, are they alright?”

“In short, no. If you two were friends, I’d suggest writing him a letter,” I replied.

“But what happened?” Twilight pressed.

“Not my place to say,” I responded.

“Jay, tell her what you know,” Luna ordered.

I sighed before telling the others what I had been told, “His father went batshit and tried to kill his entire family, got his mother and nearly got him.”

“Stars above,” Luna commented quietly as Applejack removed her hat and pressed it to her chest in sympathy.

“Is he okay? Where is he? Should I send a letter or flowers? I don’t know how to handle this,” Twilight rambled, clearly more affected than the rest of us.

“Where is the father now?” Luna asked, a tinge of anger in her voice.

“I have no idea, didn’t ask. I’d assume he’s in custody,” I replied, shrugging.

“Good,” Luna and Applejack spat. Twilight was still fumbling over how to comfort her friend or coworker, whatever they were.

“If you really want to help him, get your brother to have the bastard transferred to the local post for holding. He wouldn’t be the first I tossed in the best prison on Equis, not the worst reason either,” I offered.

“I-I think I should talk to Arcane first,” Twilight responded after a few seconds to think.

“A wise idea, it is neither of our places to decide what should happen to that monster,” Luna praised.

“And that’s why I tried to avoid saying anything,” I griped.

“I don’t believe one can have too much information on these things,” Luna replied.

“Trust me, you can have too much information,” I warned. I had far too much knowledge about my friends, even if they didn’t realize I remembered.

“I would argue, but I’m sure you have an example ready,” Luna relented.

“Well over a hundred, and that’s just counting the ones we both know and excluding Cat,” I replied.

“Anything that would ruin friendships?” Luna asked.

“Eight,” I answered.

“Wow. Leave those out when I pester you later,” Luna ordered with a smile.

“Your funeral,” I sighed, finally noticing that our little aside had distracted the rest of our little gathering and they were all now holding back laughter.

“Dontcha go tellin’ nothin’ ‘bout me, Ah don’t wanna hear ‘bout it,” Granny demanded.

“You don’t wanna hear? What ‘bout the rest of us bein’ scarred fer life?” Applejack pressed, though she was still smiling.

“Ah wasn’t that crazy-” Granny attempted.

“You burned my house down, with lemons,” I pointed out.

“Where else was Ah supposed ta get my cookin’ cutie mark? Ma wouldn’t let me use our kitchen ta bake that pie,” Granny replied defensively.

“Granny! LEMONS” Applejack asked in horror, even Mac was staring at his grandmother in shock.

“Youth is fer experimentin’, you oughta know that Miss-Run-Off-Ta-Manehattan,” Granny shot back.

“Whoa, no need to get personal,” Luna interjected, trying in vain to diffuse the building argument.

“Leave them be, families fight,” I advised as I placed my hand on Luna’s shoulder comfortingly.

“Should we go?” Twilight asked, sharing Luna’s clear discomfort with the situation.

“Eeyep, they’ll be at this fer an hour or two ‘fore they make up,” Mac replied, staunchly staying out of the fight going on around him now that he had recovered from the fact that a member of his family had consorted with another fruit.

“Does this happen often?” Luna asked as Mac led us to the door.

“Eenope, but it’s been comin’ fer a while now. Lotta tension can build on a farm. Gets outta control sometimes. Tempers get short, fights happen, and we’re strong as ever after,” Mac responded optimistically.

“No wounds. I don’t care what they scream at each other, but no cuts or bruises,” I ordered.

“Yessir,” Mac replied before he could catch himself. I knew Jonagold far too well.

“I know, but it’s the right thing to do anyway,” I rebutted before Mac could say his typical argument.

“Eeyep,” Mac grumbled as we reached the door.

Luna and Twilight left the house in a hurry once the food started flying, leaving Mac and I to get pelted with stray peas and a full plate of apple fritters. I stopped when I was halfway out the door and turned to look back at the only male in the household.

“Ah fuck it. Come here Mac, there’s something I need to tell you,” I instructed, waving him outside where it was quieter.

“Come Twilight, this isn’t for us,” Luna stated, leading Twilight down the path.

I took a breath to stall while I thought about what to say, “Mac, I know I’m not your father, I don’t have one single illusion about that, and I’m not trying to take his place. Jona was one hell of a farmer, and a damn good stallion to boot. I can’t compete with that, I won’t even try. But I look in there and I see you filling his shoes, being the rock this family needs, and I’ll be damned if I’m not proud.

“It’s not like the pride you have in these fields, it’s the pride a parent feels, the pride I feel when Tzu takes charge and accomplishes something I’ve never considered, the pride I feel when Dopple sets a trap for me to blunder into, the pride I’m sure you feel when Bloom builds something. I’m not your father, he was better than me, but you’re better than both of us and I’m damn proud of you for it. I’m sorry, I just needed to say that.”

Mac stood stock still while I rambled and for nearly a minute after I finished, only opening his mouth to speak when I started to turn away, “Wait.”

“I’ll go if you want me to, I get that I went kinda far,” I offered.

“Eenope, ya said what ya meant and meant what ya said,” Mac began before slowing down to be as clear as possible, a sign he was deadly serious, “I thought you were a coward for hiding and I still don’t fully understand why you did, but I know that a coward wouldn’t say anything like that. A coward would’ve kept walking. Yer a fool Jekyll, but yer an honest one when it counts an’ Ah can respect that. Don’t be a stranger now, Ah’m just startin’ ta warm up to ya.”

“Thanks Mac, I’ll see you around,” I replied with a smile before turning fully to catch up to Luna and Twilight.

“How did it go?” Luna asked when I met up with them.

“I didn’t get kicked in the face or thrown off the property, I’d say it went well,” I responded.

“Jay,” Luna began.

“Yes?” I asked.

“You’re smiling past your ears, it’s creepy,” Luna noted.

“Yeah, hold on,” I agreed, already adjusting my facial features to be less flexible.

“Is Big Ma-” Twilight managed before she was drowned out by the sound of an explosion. On reflex, I tackled both of the ponies and sheltered them under a layer of armor as dense as I could make it. When no more concussive sounds followed, I climbed off and allowed them to stand.

“The fuck was that?” Luna asked, her head whipping around for the source of the noise.

“It might’ve been Pinkie’s party cannon,” Twilight proposed as she climbed to her hooves.

“Or Gilda refusing my offer,” I replied grimly.

“Offer?” Luna asked, her eyes narrowing.

“Assassin, sent after the Element bearers and me. Gave it up when I told her Dash was on her list, or so I thought,” I growled.

“No elder, my guns remain unfired,” Gilda answered as she emerged from her hiding place in the bushes.

“Are you following me?” I asked.

“Yes,” Gilda replied.

“Planning to drop me first? Keep me from interfering with the rest?” I guessed.

“Originally yes, but now I’m more bored than anything. Your little adventures are fun to watch,” Gilda explained.

“While you’re here, let me see that musket of yours,” I requested.

“I suppose I won’t need it anymore,” Gilda reasoned as she unslung the weapon and passed it to me. Luna continued glaring at the gryphon, unhappy about being near another assassin.

I slid a tendril down the barrel to confirm my suspicions about her ‘special bullet’ and found exactly what I expected, “Laced with the cure, of course it is. Dopple you brilliant piece of shit, stop giving away my damn secrets.”

“So it really can-” Luna began before another explosion rang out, this one coming from the musket in my hands and was directed into my chest

The first thing I noticed was the pain, being this close to one of those things going off was particularly painful.

“Ow, my ears,” I complained as I struggled to make sense of what just happened. Was there an accident? When my eyes finally found Jay, he was still pointing the pipe end of the weapon at himself. My vision shrank as my mind made unwelcome connections, a single pervasive thought hanging in my mind. ‘He’s admitted to being suicidal in the past and that bitch gave him a weapon that could kill him.’ “WHAT DID YOU DO?!”

I jumped forward and tried to search out the vile liquid, only finding bits of dead flesh around the impact but tearing away much more in my search for the toxin killing my husband. A gentle hand found my chest and pushed me away, providing enough distraction to end my barrage of spells and telekinetic tugging, “Relax, it’s not enough to actually kill me. But I need to know how much damage one of these can do in case I face them again.”

“By the fucking stars, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Can’t you see what that looked like? Don’t do that to me! I’d never recover if you killed yourself,” I continued, my voice softening with every word until I was almost whispering. That was too much for me to handle, and now I was stuck with millions of what if’s and the horrible outcomes that came with them. I wanted nothing more than to teleport somewhere secluded and cry, but my grief was already fading. A burning, scorching anger was slowly taking its place.

“Sorry, I didn’t think about what it would look like. Hold up,” Jay began before coughing up the bullet and a small amount of dead flesh, “Okay, so not a lot of damage. Gonna need some real meat to make up for that though.”

“Jekyll,” I began tersely. Keeping my promise to not hit him had never been so hard before.

“Luna?”

“Don’t do that again. I’m not sure you’re welcome in our room tonight either, not until you understand why that hurt me,” I declared, settling for what I could get. But if he touched me right now, all bets were off.

“I understand, I just didn’t think about it beyond assessing the potential threat. Again, I’m sorry,” Jay replied. That made me pause for a brief moment. He really did sound remorseful and I knew he had a habit of focusing on the military side of things more than the emotional, but I had to be sure.

“If you ‘understand’ then why?” I pressed, feeling my expression soften slightly despite my efforts to maintain my visage.

The answer I requested came in the form of a, seemingly melted, bioform sloughing over my back to hang next to my neck, “It’s cus you wuv me and never want me to go.”

“You dweebs have officially raised the bar on dweebdom, no pony, gryphon, minotaur, or otherwise will ever be as dweebish as you,” Gilda announced.

“Ask me if I care,” Jay replied.

“How is my back not broken, did you mess with my bones too?” I wondered, barely feeling the weight at all. At this point, I couldn’t doubt the possibility.

“I’m holding myself up,” Jay answered, prompting me to look over my shoulders and see blobish extensions reaching the ground on either side of me.

“Of course you are. Liquid or not, you always seem to have something up your sleeve,” I sighed.

“Did we ever figure out what that original sound was?” Twilight asked, bringing the rest of us back on task.

“Wasn’t me,” Gilda repeated.

“Pinkie did say we would know when it was time to go to the party,” I pointed out, grateful for the change of topic.

“Shitty way of getting our attentions,” Jay commented.

“Agreed, but I’m about done trying to understand that demon,” I spat.

“I told you-” Jay began.

“-Down that way lies madness, I know,” I snapped.

“So are we gonna stand here whining like a bunch of newborns or are you going to party?” Gilda asked.

“We shall party until our frowns become smiles,” I declared as I started walking, unhindered by the blob resting on my back and thus determined to ignore it.

“Lu, you’re forgetting something,” Jay teased.

I looked back to make sure Twilight was still following, she had been quiet lately and I didn’t intend to lose her. I made a mental note to talk to her later and see what was wrong. But at present, she was still following along.

“What is it now?” I asked irritably.

“We’re going to a club. Clubs are for dancing,” Jay pointed out as he slid off my back and resumed his normal shape, but this time he was wearing a simple outfit of torn blue pants and a short black coat that barely reached past his waist. A silver chain was knitted together on his right wrist as I watched, finishing the look of an outfit built to accent the one made for me.

“So it is, so it is,” I agreed absently. Mentally, I was searching for where I had stashed my only set of clothes. As soon as I found the storeroom they were hidden in, a bright flash removed them and an accompanying flash deposited them onto my frame. A perfect object teleport, no merging or otherwise ill effects.

“I take it all back, but you two wear the dweeb disguise well,” Gilda commented approvingly.

“Heh, gonna prove that tonight,” Jay replied with an evil smirk, reminding me of Appljack’s warning.

“Jay, I want you to promise me that I won’t see you disrupting this party,” I requested.

“Done,” Jay replied instantly.

“That easy? I was expecting to have to fight you over that,” I asked.

“That easy,” Jay confirmed, I didn’t like the mischievous look in his eyes though.

“Well, now that that’s covered, shall we?” I asked, holding out my hoof.

“We shall,” Jay agreed, taking my hoof and leading our little group to the appropriate building.

“I fucking hate it here, this garbage isn’t even music!” I shouted, barely even able to hear myself. I had never heard of a sound system that could overpower the Royal Canterlot Voice, or the Royal Address Volume as I knew it from before. Or rather, I wasn’t surprised that I hadn’t heard of it, I was surprised that I hadn’t heard it before now. With Twilight and the gryphon disappearing soon after we walked inside, I was left alone with Jay and that obscene noise pounding in my ears.

“Me too, but I have a plan,” Jay responded with a hand on the back of my neck.

“Jay, you promised,” I warned.

“And I’m keeping that promise, you won’t see me disrupt this party,” Jay replied happily before ending the connection. By the time I turned to throw him an irritated glare, he had disappeared as well.

With nothing else to do and no ability to talk to anypony else, I wandered over to the small bar to the left of the main doors and found a seat.

I opened my mouth to speak to the bartender, a tall unicorn with a neon green mane and orange coat that glowed under the strange lights in this bizarre building, but the pony just pointed to a shaped piece of rubber in his ear and levitated a pencil and paper onto the table before me.

I looked at the menu in vain for a few seconds before giving up and ordering a straight whiskey, mostly because it was the only name I knew. The cold liquid burned as it went down and I wondered briefly why why Jay preferred this stuff, right until I saw the Apple Family Farms logo proudly emblazoned on the bottle and answered my own question.

I continued absently sipping at my drink while I waited for whatever it was Jay had planned, even getting to the point where I wasn’t grimacing at the burn every time. Now that I was used to it, the flavor was rather pleasant.

“Ah, thanks love,” a white stallion with a green mane said during a brief lull in the noise as he took my drink right out of my telekinetic grip and downed it in one gulp before throwing the empty glass into the crowd. As the stallion wandered away from my stunned expression, I caught a glimpse of his compatriots.

‘Triplets? No, that one’s older. Still, three ponies with green fur and orange manes in one place?’ I thought as I regarded the group in greater detail. All of them were earth ponies, and one word sprang to the forefront of my mind as I looked at them: hoodlums.

Now that I could see more of the thief than his face and hoof, I noticed that he was walking on three legs. The stallion’s right foreleg was occupied with holding an oddly shaped walking stick that was a bit too tall and had a battered knob at the end. Again, the first thing to come to mind wasn’t good. Weapon.

The large crowd near the stage quickly learned to get out of the gang’s way when the first pony that tried to stop them ended up unconscious in a puddle of beer and surrounded by broken bits of pitcher. I got up from my stool and got ready to intervene when they reached the security guards posted at the edge of the stage, but all it took was a wave of that vicious looking club for the security to back off and let them pass.

“What is going on here?” I asked, knowing nopony could hear me.

I left my stool once more when the thugs approached the blue maned unicorn running the show, this time I foresaw violence. The mare wasn’t backing down like her security and I should see her shouting become more animated as she fought to keep her stage. I prepared a teleport when that knobbly black club came up again to threaten the mare, eventually turning towards her equipment when the white furred miscreant didn’t get the results he was expecting.

While I couldn’t see through the purple tinted lenses of her glasses, I could almost feel her eyes widen as her expression became one of fear. Her head dropped sadly as her horn glowed and the noise stopped, much to the dismay of the other patrons. I remained focused on the four hooligans as the mare, who I could only assume was Vinyl based on her reactions, walked off her own stage in defeat.

“Alrighty lads and lassies, enough of that bollocks. Any ah ye know what Ah see lookin’ ‘round this hole?” the leader asked, speaking with an accent I couldn’t place. It was somewhat similar to Pepper’s, but not quite. It was foreign for sure though.

“Ah see a dance floor, Ah see a bah, Ah see too many o’ ye witout so much as a pint o’ da bleck shtuff in ye. ‘Oh no, but dis is a clob,’ Ah hear ye say. Hogwash, dis is a pub. An’ a pub needs a real pub song once in ahwhile, ye can ‘ave yer normal shite back in a bit,” the leader continued as the others produces instruments from...somewhere.

A strange flute-like object was produced from the leader’s green mane before he started off their song with a bouncy yet calm melody.

The group of confusing stallions managed their first verse of unintelligible lyrics before one of the partiers in the crowd decided to voice their outrage, “Hey-”

The rest of the pony’s complaint was drowned out by the strange band kicking their tune into a more aggressive version of the same.

“That’s not Equestrian music,” I noted after I managed to catch a few of the lines, “Jay you cheating bastard, I’ll get you for this.”

“Did ye like that un lads? No? Fook you too. Tell ye wut, one more an’ we’ll give ye back yer stupid fookin’ clob. Ye ready lads, let’s do this. An’ a one, an’ a two, an’ a one, two, tree, four…”

This time they dropped their accent and any pretense of being ponies in the way they jumped around the stage on their hind legs as their next and final song began, the unfamiliar dinging sound apparently coming from nowhere.

The leader, who could only be Jekyll, found the microphone with both of his forehooves and held his muzzle scant inches from the device as he stomped his right hind leg to the beat absently while shouting his aggressive song. Just as many of the patrons turned to leave, the word ‘change’ heralded the lights going out for the barest of moments.

“Oh my stars,” I commented, my eyes locked on the stage. The foreign hoodlums had been replaced with my own sister and three of her guards with no change to the voice singing. Another line with the word ‘change’ and I was staring at a copy of myself, complete with the outfit I was currently wearing, accompanied by Lily, Catrix, and Twilight, “Now that’s just unfair, ponies are really going to think that was me.”

Another bout of darkness, a new set of musicians. Again and again, every time the chorus played they would become somepony or something else. There were demons and dragons and ponies from town, occasionally all of these at once. At one point it was all done by one of the giant spiders we had fought. If nothing else, it was an entertaining show. With the outro, the lights began flashing as the group on stage went back through all the disguises they had used in reverse order; ending with their real appearances.

“Thank you all for putting up with that, you may have your wubs back now,” Jay announced gratefully as he bowed to the audience. I soon lost him in the crowd however, and it was a long time before he finally returned to where I was sitting.

“Enjoy the show?” I asked as I slid into the almost completely hidden booth. I wouldn’t have noticed it at all if I hadn’t taken the stage, nor would I have noticed who was sitting in it.

“I did actually, it was rather refreshing,” my companion replied.

“So what brings you here this time Dee? Making a play at taking my title, or something more mundane?” I pressed.

“Neutral ground right? This town has meaning to both of us, it should be protected by both of us,” Dopple answered.

“I’ve got that covered, you can pull your troops out,” I stated, it wasn’t a request.

“No troops, just me and you holding this ground like old times,” Dopple clarified.

“I must be getting soft in my old age-”

“You are, I’m still alive.”

“-but alright, just keep your distance from the others. If one of them disappears or comes back with that poison you’re pedaling in their system, I will ruin this land killing you if I have to,” I threatened, ignoring the interruption entirely.

“Wasn’t planning on it, might even extend a truce. You don’t hunt my free enforcers and I don’t free any more, for now,” Dopple offered.

“And what do you gain from that?” I pressed, not seeing any incentive for this truce.

“I have reasons, things I know that you don’t,” Dopple teased.

“You are still made from my biology, I am still your progenitor and I can still dig through your mind,” I pointed out.

“And we were doing so well. Let’s set that aside and just be friends again for a while, please? I don’t understand why, but I’ve missed this,” Dopple requested, almost begging.

“The funny thing is, I have too. Tzu’s doing remarkably well, but he doesn’t have your opinionated nature. He doesn’t question me, it’s kinda annoying,” I agreed, waving in an attempt to get the staff’s attention.

“You get what you put into it. The India is still an India at heart, he won’t be the proxy you want for a long time yet,” Dopple predicted.

“At the rate he’s learning, I’d give it a week or two,” I countered.

“Wanna make that bet official? I’ll wager one thousand free enforcers on him not matching my style in two weeks,” Dopple declared.

“Five, and the loser has to publicly admit he was wrong,” I raised.

“Deal,” Dopple agreed.

Any further conversation was interrupted by a server finally appearing at our table and taking our drink requests. Unsurprisingly, it was two straight whiskeys.

“At least I taught you how to drink properly, you ungrateful little shit,” I joked.

“Stuff it up your ass you slaving megalomaniac,” Dopple shot back.

“Oh shut your cock hole, you know damn well why I keep you all on such a short leash. Fucking hell Dee, it was YOUR FUCKING IDEA!” I shouted, more to drive my point than overpower the music. From where the booth was located, the volume was fairly reasonable.

“I was scared of myself, I didn’t want to kill everyone! You were too damnit. Times have changed Dad, we’re not the potential time bombs we used to be. I’m okay with dying in this fight because at least you’d know we could be trusted to make decent decisions!”

“Like Fang makes decent decisions when he decides the world doesn’t have enough ‘bloodflowers’?” I countered.

“He’s the only one out of hundreds of thousands of us and you keep us chained over that one insane monster?” Dopple exclaimed in exasperation.

“He was fine once, and I intend to stick to our original plan. When an enforcer develops their own personality and ethics that are stable and compatible with life on this world, I will remove their control genes and release them to do whatever they wish within the bounds of the law,” I insisted, “It’s a good plan.”

“It was a good plan, but we’ve evolved and it doesn’t fit us anymore,” Dopple argued.

“Is that so? Or could it be that you’ve developed to that point and are pushing your situation onto others? Romeo Five-Eight-Three-dash-Two is just another robot right now, doing whatever he’s told and nothing else. Is he ready to wander the streets of Manehattan by himself? Would you trust him not to eat somepony because his biomass levels dropped below the standard he’s always known?” I shot back, making my opponent look away, “That’s what I thought. You’re all still children, my job is to get you ready for the world before turning you loose to make your own way.”

“Six hundred years though? Am I still so young to you? I’ve watched so many live from birth to death already, how can you call me a child?” Dopple asked, but the fire was gone. He just wanted answers now, answers I was happy to give.

“I’ll call you a child to my dying breath you ignorant twat, it’s what parents do,” I replied with a light cuff to his ear.

“You...Really?” Dopple stammered in disbelief.

“You may be rebelling, you may be causing the deaths of so many of your brothers and sisters, but you’re still my oldest and I can’t forget that. I actually confessed this to Mac just a little while ago, I’m still proud of you. You’re a brilliant tactician, even better than me, I know because I keep finding your little traps and schemes. Like you giving the cure to Equestria’s enemies, brilliant move. I’ll have a real fight on my hands when they invade now. Heh, a real fight, not even sure what that means anymore. Still, it was inspired and you deserve the praise,” I explained in my own rambling way, leaving Dopple speechless for several seconds.

“Are you insane? No, really, have you lost your mind?” Dopple asked.

A perfect setup, almost as cliché as saying he was hungry. On command, the top of my head popped open as though it was on a hinge and exposed a likeness of a human brain. I pulled it out and examined it before responding, “Hmm, nope, still got it.”

“Uuuugh, seriously? You really have gone off the deep end,” Dopple groaned.

“It’s called a ‘dad joke’ for a reason, it comes with the title. But really, I’m still as sane as when you left. Fighting you isn’t what I want to do, and I don’t think you want to have this fight either. You said yourself that you missed this, I have too. I’ve missed your ugly mug reporting on what the others were doing; not because of how you did it, but because it was you that was talking to me. You’re my oldest Dee, you’ve been there since the start of the enforcers, I don’t want to lose you over some stupid fight,” I responded soberly before stopping to take a sip from my, previously unnoticed, drink.

“So what’s your solution then? Find some way of removing the bombs in me and I just go back on your leash?” Dopple spat, his tone hardening again.

“I can remove the bombs, I have in another. As for the control genes, you’ve proved you’re responsible enough to live without them. My offer is this: I remove the chains that hold you now and place no new ones on you, in return you tell me who is pulling the strings and where I can find them. You could live your own life, free from my influence or any other. This isn’t me settling, you’ve earned it by the system you designed,” I offered.

“And the others? What about them?” Dopple pressed.

“From what I’ve seen so far, your attempt at a coup has jumpstarted their development. They’d be rounded up and individually examined before either returning to the fold to grow some more, being released to make their own choices...or being recycled. I hope to never have to do that last one again, but one Fang is enough and I won’t have monsters running around with our abilities,” I stated firmly.

“I...I don’t know. It’s tempting for sure, and it makes sense when you consider the risks we pose by simply existing. I suppose this is the part where you tell me to make my choice, you or them? Family or strangers, freedom or enslavement. I don’t know which is which anymore. Fuck you Dad, why did you have to make this confusing?” Dopple complained.

“If you stand by your word and follow the rules of staying in Ponyville, you could give me your answer ten thousand years from now and it would be accepted. But once you make that choice, I’ll expect you to honor it,” I replied.

Dopple fell silent as he thought about my offer, quickly downing his drink and motioning for another. And another. And another. Eventually he gave up and took the bottle, drinking the whole thing in one motion.

“Woah there tiger, don’t go too crazy,” I cautioned, still on my first drink.

“I’m paying the tab, I’ll drink as much as I want,” Dopple spat semi-drunkenly.

“Just trying to keep you able to walk,” I defended, raising my hands innocently.

“Another one!” Dopple ordered, shaking the empty bottle for emphasis. Once he had a fresh bottle, he returned his attention to me and took slower sips so he could speak, “So what’s the deal with the whore?”

“Cat? You know how long we’ve been friends, she’s just a part of life at this point,” I replied, confused.

“No, no, not the whore, the whore. The bitch’s sister,” Dopple clarified.

“Luna? She’s not like that,” I argued.

“Liar,” Dopple accused, “I hear things about you two, how you share a bed every night, how you secretly got married, how she never leaves your side, how she admitted it two days ago.”

“Congratulations, you know we’ve fucked. That doesn’t make her a whore,” I insisted.

“Sure does, ‘cause you’re, like, a tentacle monster behind that stupid face. So Imma keep callin’ ‘em like I see’s ‘em, she’s a gold diggin’ whore,” Dopple slurred. It took a lot to not take his words personally, I knew it was his drunken state fueling this tirade against the sister of the one he was raised hating.

“Luna isn’t Chelly, Dee, she’s kind and honest. If she needs to relax, I’m willing to help. And since you brought it up, I’ll have you know it was nothing like what you’re implying,” I rebutted.

“Beh, not like I’ll ever know. Someone thought Best Defense would be more convincing if he lost a few pieces in his fights. Someone decided I needed to match his fucked up look. SOMEONE made me a damn eunuch,” Dopple complained loudly.

“Is that what this is about? I can put it all back,” I offered.

“Fer what price?” Dopple demanded.

“Either your reason for the truce or anything else you deem fair,” I declared.

“No funny business?” Dopple asked.

“None,” I reaffirmed.

“Dad, will you please take away all these scars and deformities?” Dopple requested politely, clearly fighting through his drunkenness. I briefly wondered if he would be in for a shock when he looked in a mirror tomorrow, he was drunk enough to be in the middle of a blackout.

“Absolutely,” I replied, accepting his request as his payment. I leaned across the table and placed a single hand on his shoulder, easily establishing more than enough contact to alter his form. Less than a second later, it was done and the gryphon before me scarcely resembled the monster hunter the world knew as Best Defense.

“Thanksh Dad,” Dopple managed before he lost consciousness. He would’ve landed face first on the table, but his beak hit first and held up the rest of his head. I laughed quietly at the scene before sliding out of the booth and picking up the passed out bioform, this would make for a funny story later. With my renegade son draped over one shoulder, I finally walked off to find Luna.

“Can’t say I’m surprised to find you here,” I commented, looking between Luna and the many empty cups surrounding her, “I can say I’m surprised to find you drunk.”

“My face is numb and my tummy hurts, I wanna go home,” Luna whined.

“Alright, come on,” I agreed, using several tendrils to pull Luna onto my opposite shoulder. Now that I had my intoxicated wife and son’s heads safely hanging down by my back, I set off for Abaddon while inwardly questioning why I was the sober one.

“Whosat?” Luna asked, noticing she wasn’t the only one being carried.

“Don’t worry about it tonight, I’ll fill you in tomorrow,” I placated, causing Luna to fall limp once more.

“Kay, jus’ don’t let ‘im mess wit me. I don’ wanna end up like Lily,” Luna slurred tiredly, her words getting through to Dopple’s addled mind.

“What happened to Lily? I like Lily, she’s sweet,” Dopple asked.

“She is sweet, ‘cept when that gryphon raped ‘er. Then she was bitter,” Luna revealed. In public.

“Nooo, really? Where is he? I’ll kill ‘im myself,” Dopple raged as best he could.

“Jay got ‘im already, ‘e’s a pile a’ ash now. Jus’ a bit a’ ash floatin’ on the wind,” Luna replied, waving her hoof around as though it was caught in a breeze.

“Good, but how’s sweet Lily doin’? Is she okey?” Dopple pressed.

“She’s better now that she doesn’t remember a thing,” Luna answered. I had taken a side street as soon as Lily became their topic of discussion in the hopes of keeping them from doing any more damage, so I let them talk it out.

“Wha? You wiped her memory? You can do that?” Dopple asked in awe.

“Nah, Jay had ta do some crazy mumbo jumbo in ‘er head ta block it. But we gotta be reeeeal careful ‘cause it might still be there. ‘E didn’t wanna do it either, she had ta beg for us ta do it,” Luna explained.

“Wow, can’t believe I missed that,” Dopple replied, turning somber, “Am I that drunk or are you Luna?”

“Thas me,” Luna replied happily, “You are drunk though.”

“So’re you,” Dopple shot back.

“Ah know, an Imma feel it tomorrow,” Luna groaned.

“I’m sorry I called you a whore, you’re nice,” Dopple apologized.

“Yer nice too, wanna be drunk friends?” Luna asked.

“Oh yeah, drunk friends forever!” Dopple cheered. I couldn’t help laughing at the way the two enemies hanging off of me were bonding over being drunk.

“Oh no, I don’t know yer name yet. Can’t be drunk friends if I don’t know yer name,” Luna lamented.

“I’m Dopple, but Dad usually calls me Dee, You can too if ya want,” Dopple greeted happily, extending a talon towards Luna. My entire focus moved to the conversation on my back as I grew apprehensive about Luna’s reaction, mainly because I didn’t want to drop her if she tried to get away.

“Nice to finally meet ya, are ya done bein’ a cunt?” Luna asked as she took the rogue’s talon. ‘Where did she learn that? I don’t say that one.’

“I dunno yet, but Dad says I can stay in Ponyville as long as I don’t break any of his dumb rules,” Dopple replied, apparently not taking any offense from Luna’s language.

Luna nodded sagely as she considered the agreement for a long while, “Better follow ‘em then, Jay knows things.”

“It’s spooky, right? Like, how?” Dopple agreed.

“I pay attention,” I replied, causing both of them to jump in surprise.

“Where did you come from?” Dopple asked.

“I’ve been carrying both of you the whole time,” I deadpanned.

“I must be drunker than I thought,” Luna commented.

“You both are,” I replied.

“How do ya know Lily?” Luna asked, once again forgetting about my existence.

“Lucky an’ Silver would leave her an’ her sisters with Dad an’ me sometimes, somethin’ ‘bout ‘alone time.’ Whatever, they called me Cousin before…” Dopple trailed off as he started crying.

“Hey, hey, it’ll be alright. I was a real cunt too an’ everypony fergave me,” Luna comforted.

“You think so? I’d like that,” Dopple sobbed as he reached over and pulled Luna into a hug. I stopped walking to memorize the day alcohol ended a civil war.

Luna and Dopple continued talking about random topics and ponies they both knew as I walked the rest of the way to Abaddon and sent a silent order for the enforcers to stand down and that Dopple was to be watched but otherwise ignored. From there it was a long trip to the deck without my wings, as I had to climb up Abaddon’s leg with just my arms.

Once we were on the deck, I casually carried my intoxicated fellows to Luna’s and my room. After setting Luna on the bed, I built another to set Dopple on before climbing in on Luna’s opposite side to allow them to continue their conversation. Eventually sleep found the two of them and I was left alone to try something different.

While every cell functioned as part of my brain, I could control how much was devoted to actually processing information. My first attempt involved dropping that level down to the amount of a normal human or pony. Unsurprisingly, this just left me feeling stupid for trying. My second test was to let my cells fire whenever they pleased, dropping my usually strict neurological functions to random levels throughout my body.

“Well, that was unexpected,” I commented as parts of my body began shifting between their normal state and lying as a tangle of tendrils with no real pattern. On a whim, I allowed this chaotic, yet seemingly harmless, shifting to encompass the rest of my body.

The next thing I knew, I was standing in a field of tendrils next to a swaying tree that appeared to be made of different different body parts. I soon found myself intrigued by this unnatural sight and moved closer, “Woo, what’s this place?”

“Luna? What are you doing here?” I asked, turning to face the alicorn.

“Uh, making sure you have good dreams. Kinda my job, duh,” Luna slurred.

“Interesting, it seems I’ve figured out how to fall asleep at will,” I noted.

“Sure, whatever. Good for you and all that. Wanna bang?” Luna rambled so drunkenly that I almost missed her question.

“In a dream, while you’re drunk, when your real body is right next to mine? That sounds like a damn terrible idea,” I rebutted, sensing the possibility of catastrophic repercussions.

Suddenly Luna was right in front of me and placing her hoof over my lips, “Jay Jay, Jay, Jay Jay, Jay, Jay Jay, Jay, JayJayJayJay, don’t worry about it, I can keep you from moving in your sleep. I do it all the time with ponies that have night terrors.”

“You’re still drunk,” I insisted.

“I’ve been drunk before,” Luna countered.

“You aren’t in your right mind, it isn’t right,” I argued.

“So?” Luna asked.

“What do you mean ‘so?’ I’m saying no this time,” I stated as clearly as possible. Luna stared at me for several seconds before my world spun. When I could see clearly again, my hooves were chained to the swaying tree. As I got my bearings and looked around, I found I was back in the form of the white furred stallion I had used earlier.

“Maybe you don’t understand. This is my realm, I am a goddess here and this goddess needs some lovin’,” Luna declared as she sauntered up to me.

“I need an adult.”

I felt dirty. Germs couldn’t survive on my skin and I routinely ate dirt, but I felt dirty.

“I’m going to take a shower,” I declared, reforming my usual body and climbing out of the bed.

“Please don’t shout,” Luna complained, placing a hoof over her eyes.

“Since when do you shower?” Dopple asked, also rousing from his slumber.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” I snapped as I walked away.

The feeling of water running down my neck had a much needed calming effect as I processed the events of last night and wondered how to approach the situation. Could I hold Luna responsible for something that didn’t physically happen? Would she even remember it? Eventually I decided it was best filed under the category of ‘shit I wish I could forget’ and ignored like so many other bad memories.

A scream tore my attention back to the current time and place, prompting me to sprint back into the room. Inside, I found Dopple sitting up on the second bed as he nursed his head and Luna hiding behind a glimmering blue shield in the corner.

“Could you keep it down?” Dopple requested, though Luna didn’t seem to understand that he was hungover too.

“Lu, relax. Dee, shut the hell up until I get this sorted out,” I ordered.

“I’m gonna go pass out somewhere quiet, let me know when she settles down. Or don’t, whatever,” Dopple replied as he wandered out the door.

“The fuck was that thing doing here?” Luna demanded once Dopple was out of sight.

“How much do you remember about last night?” I asked calmly.

“You cheating your way around your promise, then you didn’t come back and I kept drinking for a while, and then I woke up here with him looking at me,” Luna seethed.

“Okay, that gives me a place to start. Basically, I found you on the verge of passing out and carried you home but I was already carrying Dee because he was about as bad as you were. You two started talking and declared yourselves drunk besties, then I dropped you off here and actually managed to fall asleep. Do you remember any of this?” I explained.

“No, but...did I visit your dream?” Luna asked.

“Yes you did. How much of that do you remember?” I responded, my tone sharpening slightly.

“I think I remember a world made of your tendrils, that’s about it though,” Luna answered.

“Good, it wasn’t worth remembering,” I replied, forcing a neutral tone.

“That’s disappointing, I finally enter one of your dreams that isn’t on fire and nothing happens? Rather anticlimactic,” Luna commented, setting me on edge again.

“Right, let’s find a new topic,” I suggested tenderly, trying to avoid digging any deeper into that fresh memory.

“Something happened,” Luna deduced, looking at me curiously, “Something to do with me. Something I did. Did I hurt you?”

“If I say yes will you let me suppress that memory and find something else to talk about?” I asked.

“I’m sorry for whatever I did, but I guess I should let you heal before finding out what I’m apologizing for,” Luna relented.

“Dopple. We can talk about Dopple. Are you comfortable with him being here? Are you willing to pursue the friendship and peace talks you started last night? Do you think he will?” I rambled.

“I was shocked to find him in our room with no context, but if he’s here to negotiate a peace between your factions then I’m thrilled to see him here,” Luna replied.

“He’s here because he got shitfaced and never told me where he was staying, a larger peace wasn’t on the table until you started it,” I explained.

“Really? It seems I’m a better politician than I thought I was,” Luna commented.

“You asked if he was done being a cunt,” I deadpanned.

“Means and ends, Jay, means and ends,” Luna insisted as she confidently strode out the door.

“The fuck? Where are you going?” I asked as I followed her out.

“I have no idea, but it seemed like the moment for a dramatic exit,” Luna replied.

“Abaddon, where did Dopple fall over?” I asked. If Luna wanted to wander, at least we could have a direction.

“Second hallway on your right, slightly to the left of center,” Abaddon replied.

“Left of center?” Luna asked as we neared the indicated hallway.

“You’ll see,” Abaddon teased.

As we rounded the corner, it became clear what Abaddon was talking about. Dopple was slightly to the left of being right in the middle of the hallway, though he managed to block the entire thing in the way his unconscious form was sprawled.

“I’d call that slightly left of center, wouldn’t you?” I snickered.

“Yes, I suppose I would,” Luna agreed with a chuckle of her own.

“Alright Dee, time to wake up. Come on, you’re gonna be late for school,” I prompted as I walked over and tried to wake my former second in command.

“Buh is Sunday,” Dopple groaned, swatting at the hand that was poking at his face.

“That was yesterday buddy, today’s Monday. You better get up or you’ll miss breakfast,” I warned, motioning for Luna to remain silent, “I made ~waffles~.”

That got him moving until Luna broke and let out a loud laugh, causing him to look around and remember where he was, “Why did I drink so much?”

“Because you’d rather be hungover than make difficult decisions, I think it runs in the family,” I replied.

“Uh, are the waffles real at least?” Dopple asked, sitting up to hold his head.

“They can be, we’ll see what Lucky thinks,” I offered, holding out a hand to help the faux gryphon up.

“Lucky’s here? Oh. I think I should just go,” Dopple said sadly.

“She won’t say it, just like I usually don’t, but she misses you too,” I tempted as Dopple tried to walk away.

“And Lily? Pepper? The others?” Dopple asked.

“Lily’s here, the rest are at home,” I answered.

“I...I can’t. I can’t stay here and make up with them, just like I can’t take your offer,” Dopple declared.

“You want to,” I stated.

“More than anything, but Fate won’t let me. Fate has decided that we need to be enemies, this life can’t be mine anymore,” Dopple lamented.

“You believe it’s your destiny to fight against this?” I confirmed, “Since when? I don’t believe in that nonsense and you didn’t either.”

“No, you don’t understand. There are things bigger than the two of us at play, and Fate is behind it all,” Dopple insisted.

“Fate is a person,” I noted, finally catching his meaning.

“A thing,” Dopple corrected, “A thing that is angry at you.”

“Why?” I asked.

“I don’t know, really. All I know is that I have to kill you or Fate will kill us all, or maybe I’m supposed to die at your claws, I don’t know that for sure either,” Dopple tried to explain.

“If I can find this Fate and kill it, would you be able to come home?” I asked.

“If...If you can, then I would love to do just that. I’ll be praying to every god I can find that you do,” Dopple replied hopefully.

“One last question before you go, where does Citadel fit in all this?”

“Nowhere, but it might lead you somewhere. Follow that lead, it’s the only one I can give you.”

“Stay safe Dee, and don’t fuck with any more of your siblings or I’ll take it out of your hide,” I threatened lightly, getting a laugh out of the fake gryphon.

“It won’t be my side that breaks the truce, Fate has pulled them all back,” Dopple revealed.

“I guess Fate wants Equestria to be ready for the war, your efforts were keeping us from building the fortifications Tzu designed,” I assumed.

“That makes sense. I haven’t gotten the impression that it’s after anyone or anything, more like it wants a show,” Dopple agreed.

“I can see now why you two stuck together for so long, you make quite the pair,” Luna commented easily.

“I should be going, we should get a drink sometime,” Dopple offered.

“Yeah, we should. Take care of yourself Dee,” I bid as Dopple finally managed to walk away.

“You too Dad,” Dopple called before he turned a corner and disappeared.

“Jay, Dopple was here,” Luna noted after a full minute had passed.

“Yeah, just like the old days,” I agreed wistfully.

“And you didn’t kill him when he refused to end this conflict,” Luna continued.

“Nope.”

“HAVE YOU LOST YOUR BUCKING MIND! HE’S TRIED TO KILL BOTH OF US!”

“So much for being drunk friends,” I commented.

Author's Notes:

This was a fun one to write, it feels good to get the ball rolling on the main storyline again. Between that and the progress we've made behind the scenes, it's been a productive week. So, since we're doing little questions now or something, where do you think Jekyll lies on the Bedlam Axis (the lawful/chaotic-good/evil grid)?

Eric's Editor's Note:

I've got nothing to say, so for once, I shall opt out of an EN.

Militia's Editor's Note:

Same; I got nothing.

Author's Note Part 2:

Alright, but I'm posting those responses anyway.