Luna was less than pleased when she awoke and discovered the moon high in the sky, “What happened to two hours?”

“You looked too peaceful, I’d never seen you manage to sleep without constantly rolling and twisting. Even when I’m right there you’re always shuffling around,” I replied.

“I was exhausted,” Luna agreed before shaking her head and glaring at me once more, “But now you’ve let me ruin my sleep schedule! It’ll be days before I’m able to sleep at night again! I need to fall back asleep right now and stay that way until morning.”

“Easy enough,” I commented, sending a melatonin laced tendril her way.

“No no no, not like that. I refuse to spend this night or any other in a coma, it’s bad enough that I’ve accepted sleeping through my own nights,” Luna argued, her horn lighting as she pushed my tendril away.

“Then what?” I inquired.

“I will have to be made tired,” Luna reasoned, her voice gaining a sultry edge.

“Luna, do you remember our talk about slowing down? You’ve got me for the rest of eternity, barring anything crazy like the sun exploding, we don’t need to be trying to cram as much experience into every day as we can,” I rebutted, nipping this line of thought in the bud as gently as I could.

“But-” Luna attempted.

“No buts, this is what I’ve been trying to avoid. Yesterday morning we had an unconventional but functional teacher-student relationship, now I don’t know what the fuck’s going on. I said I’d oblige you, and I will, but right before bed and then again as soon as you wake up is too much. I’m not mad or anything, just a little concerned about where this is heading,” I continued, maintaining my gentle tone, “I can make you drowsy without knocking you out, how does that sound.”

“What’s at the end of your metaphorical road then?” Luna pressed.

“Lucky,” I answered simply.

“One day I’ll win an argument, but not on this. I’d take a coma over becoming that mare, I can’t live like that,” Luna relented, reaching for my waiting tendril with a hoof.

“It’ll be a few seconds before it takes effect, avoid driving or operating heavy machinery for the next eight to twelve hours and contact your physician if you develop any new or worsening symptoms. Avoid making this a regular event as dependency may occur with repeated doses,” I advised as I delivered a measured dose of the sleep aid into Luna’s bloodstream.

“Will I just fall over if I don’t lay down?” Luna asked.

“No, it just calms you down enough to fall asleep and makes you a bit sleepy. You should quit staring at me and come to bed though,” I replied.

Luna sighed and eyed the bed, noting that my position was exactly the same as when she’d fallen asleep before. And when she woke up. And when she came back from looking out at the sky, “Not like that, I’m not. It isn’t natural for ponies to sleep on their backs, roll onto your side so I can sleep properly.”

“Getting a bit cranky already?” I joked as I followed her command, scooting back and rolling onto my left shoulder. Luna grumpily climbed onto the bed and settled in with her back to my chest.

After a few minutes of silence Luna spoke again, “Would it be so bad if you just-”

“No, sleep now,” I ordered, wrapping my right arm around her chest to give her the extra warmth.

“Fine fine, just don’t let me sleep in again,” Luna relented. She was back to sleeping peacefully within a few minutes.

I woke Luna up just before dawn with a hand on her shoulder, though she didn’t know it was still dark outside. Following her outside, I interrupted her morning ritual of swapping the sun and moon and sat next to her, “Those three bright ones there, the ones that make a triangle, they’re directly in line with the kingdom. I wouldn’t have found it otherwise.”

“They’re part of the manticore constellation, I never knew they pointed towards anything,” Luna replied after a moment.

“They don’t, not yet. They will in time, but for now they light the way for weary travellers. I hope you never forget how many ponies have depended on the moon and stars to find their way home, how many have stared at this same sky for inspiration. You’ve been sleeping through it, but it will always be yours. Never forget that,” I said as I wrapped an arm around Luna’s shoulders.

“I know, but it gets hard sometimes. How am I supposed to be the princess of the night if I’m asleep? I’m not even holding court or wearing my crown anymore,” Luna rebuked.

“Then reopen the court and get Danny to make you a better crown if it makes you feel better. Hell you could run it right here at noon if you wanted, nothing actually says night court has to be at night. It’s your time to help people, not the government’s,” I suggested.

“I could do that, but why? I have the political weight of a pencil,” Luna complained.

My hand darted from Luna’s shoulder and slapped the mark on her flank before returning to it’s post, “Because it’s your birthright, both the power and the responsibility. At some point you’re going to have to go back to Canterlot and I won’t be able to go with you, publicly anyway. No point worrying yet though, we’ll figure it out when it comes.”

“But that’s days or weeks away, and I’m just sitting around learning what I should’ve learned as a filly. I guess I’m just feeling a little useless right now,” Luna confessed.

“Useless? You changed a life yesterday, freed Mary from living in fear,” I pointed out.

“And I should’ve done that ages ago, why didn’t Lucky tell me?” Luna asked.

“Because it’s a blatant abuse of power and she’d never willingly put anyone in that position,” I replied, “But sometimes that’s what it takes to set things right.”

“Oh,” Luna commented sadly.

“Hey, chin up. You’re making good calls on this stuff, you’ve figured out how to filter lessons out of my banter, and you’re molding yourself into one hell of a leader. I’ve never seen anyone pick up on this stuff as fast as you have, I’d even go as far as saying you don’t need me anymore. Not as a mentor anyway,” I praised, making Luna smile for a moment.

“I think I know what to do, what I can do until I’m confident both of us can return to Canterlot permanently. I can walk the dreams of ponies across Equestria, battling their nightmares and helping them live happily. What do you think?” Luna proposed.

“I think it’s a great idea. It’ll let ponies know you’re a protective soul and they’ll trust you more,” I replied before looking back up at the stars. After a few seconds, a new question bloomed in my mind, “Hey, I’ve been wondering...Do you actually paint the night sky like they say?”

“In a manner of speaking, yes. Equis lies in the center of a star cluster, so I simply block out and dim those that I do not wish to muddle up my canvas while allowing those I seek to use to shine. It’s more of a reverse painting than anything,” Luna answered, happy to switch to a topic she knew so well.

“I see, must’ve taken you a long time to make the constellations then,” I assumed.

“I drew on the domed window in father’s study as a foal, the current constellations match my doodles in both shape and placement,” Luna confessed.

“I like them, they’ve kept me company on so many lonely nights. Thank you for them,” I replied gratefully, shocking the alicorn as though she had never been thanked for her work before.

“You’re...uh...you’re welcome?” Luna responded, sounding unsure of how to react.

“There’s nothing wrong with taking pride in your work, especially when it’s as beautiful as this,” I reassured her.

We continued chatting idly through the dawn, eventually settling in to have breakfast with the others. True to his word, Jeffrey had the town back to normal within two days and every single pony, Lyra included, made sure to thank us for our efforts before going back to their homes. Now that Abaddon’s hallways and rooms were empty once more, it felt like something was missing. Almost as if the life had left the areas, leaving the leviathan a walking ghost town.

“Not having foals playing in the halls feels weird,” Abaddon complained, feeling the change more than the rest of us.

“Isn’t Scoots still hanging around?” I asked, having noticed the filly hanging back when the others left.

“One filly doesn’t make much noise,” Abaddon pointed out.

“I guess. Make sure she gets to school and whatnot, other than that she’s free to hang around if she wants. And try to find her a real home in Ponyville, I’d rather not dump her here if something comes up,” I ordered.

“Understood. Would Jeffrey be a suitable caretaker? He’s provided for her before and can create a home for her underground,” Abaddon suggested.

“Eww, no. Ponies don’t belong underground, pegasi especially,” Luna rebuked, breaking away from her conversation with Lily.

“Have them work it out, it shouldn’t be too difficult for Jeff to make another house above ground. Honestly, she shouldn’t be here anyway; she should be with her friends.”

“She was living in her parent’s home before the spiders destroyed it, she should be able to move back in easily enough,” Luna added.

“This still sucks, this whole fucking town and not one couple will take her in? We can’t do it, it wouldn’t be right to tear her away from her friends every time we needed to move. Lily’s too young to handle a filly her age and Cat’s Cat. Harry would make a damn good parent if he didn’t have the emotional relatability of a brick, and more importantly he’s busy. Dash and Scoots have an almost sisterly bond, but Dash isn’t ready for a filly either. How the fuck do I not know anyone capable of caring for a child?” I ranted.

“What about Wind Chill? The way you spoke of her, it seemed like she cared for Freydis as much as you did,” Luna proposed.

“No. I won’t bring the kingdom back just so it can get roped up in this stupid war. I’ve waited this long, I can wait until it’s over,” I rebutted.

“Blue and I might not be out of the question, he has the funding to hire nannies when neither of us are in town,” Lily added.

“Neither of you live here either, you’d be uprooting her,” I argued.

“Ivy Star?” Luna asked.

“Canterlot,” I replied.

“I’ve raised more than my share already, what’s one more?” Lucky offered.

“Too far,” I answered.

“Too disturbing,” Luna added.

“You could always stop trying to make decisions for me,” Scootaloo stated irritably as she walked onto the deck.

“We just worry about you,” Luna replied apologetically.

“Well don’t, I get by just fine.”

“You really shouldn’t stay here,” I pointed out, “Your old house is back to normal, you should go back there and let Jeffrey look after you.”

“You evicting me?” Scootaloo asked.

“Not yet, but you can’t come with us if something happens again,” I replied.

“I am starting to miss my friends, I guess I could go back,” Scootaloo agreed reluctantly.

“I have a friend you’d like, but she’s trapped right now because Celestia is kinda stupid. Would you be alright with meeting her when we get her free? It might not be for a while though,” I asked.

“That Chill pony? I’ll talk to her, but I won’t make any promises,” Scootaloo shrugged.

“Then I’ll send her your way,” I replied, prompting Scootaloo to leave; presumably to gather her belongings.

“Tis a sad time when a filly her age is so angry,” Luna lamented once Scootaloo was out of sight.

“I’ve been trying to work with her, but she’s locked up tighter than Abaddon’s butthole,” Catrix commented.

“I do not possess the aforementioned orifice,” Abaddon pointed out, sounding annoyed.

“Exactly,” Catrix agreed, getting a laugh out of Lucky.

“Does this feel wrong to anyone else? As if we’re missing something important?” Luna asked out of the blue.

“Like the other shoe is about to drop and everything’s going to be horrible?” Lucky added, nodding.

“I feel it too, just can’t put my finger on it,” I agreed, relieved that I wasn’t going crazy.

“I don’t feel any-” Lily attempted before she was interrupted by a spray of blood hitting the side of her face as a purple unicorn teleported into the deck at high speed.

“Fuck!” Lucky shouted on reflex as I jumped onto the jumble of broken bones.

“Skull is intact. She’s alive!” I informed the others as both of my arms burst into tendrils to start putting Twilight back together. I started by severing her spine as it was easy for me to fix and would erase most of her pain, then got to work pulling bone shards out of her organs.

“Let me help,” Luna insisted as she crouched opposite me and fired powerful healing spells into the areas I hadn’t gotten to yet, such as her legs and jaw. Without full knowledge of Twilight’s specific anatomy, Luna’s spells would be needed to accomplish the fine work I couldn’t do.

“Lu, focus on the area’s I’ve already done. Try to get her internals back in shape while I move to the worst of the injuries,” I ordered, getting a nod from the diarch. Nearly an hour later, Luna collapsed onto her side, soon followed by me, as we watched Twilight Sparkle rise on her shaky legs.

“Ow,” Twilight managed.

“Twilight, please stop getting hurt. At this rate we’ll be reattaching your severed head before the week is done,” Luna requested tiredly; healing spells were never meant to correct that much damage.

“I saw the library was back and got excited, I’ll try to be more careful Princess,” Twilight promised before sitting down with a grimace.

“If you end up going too fast, get the attention of an enforcer. They’re strong enough flyers to slow you down safely,” I ordered the young mare.

“Thank you,” Twilight thanked, turning to regard Lucky and Lily, “Shining says he’s sorry for going after Mary, she’s been officially pardoned of any alleged wrongdoing. Also..”

“Also what?” Lucky pressed.

“Our mom beat him with a frozen waffle when she learned what he’d done, some of the other guards have been making fun of the black eye she gave him,” Twilight confessed, struggling not to laugh at her brother’s pain.

“Jay, I take it back, I would love to meet this mare someday,” Lucky managed before breaking into peals of laughter.

Lily was stone silent as she walked up to Twilight and stared into her eyes. After a tense moment, Lily leapt forward and hugged the other unicorn to the ground, openly sobbing as she apologized for hitting Twilight and being such a jerk. Twilight rubbed her assailants back dumbly, her face void of everything but confusion.

“It’s okay, I understand,” Twilight mumbled as the gars in her head turned just enough to understand what was happening.

“Lily, let her breathe. Twilight isn’t like you and your sisters, she needs time to heal properly,” I instructed the apologetic receptionist.

“I’m sorry,” Lily apologized again as she released Twilight and helped her to her hooves.

“It’s alright Lily, if somepony went after Shiny or Cadence like that I’d be pretty mad too,” Twilight replied, showing a genuine smile. I silently breathed a sigh of relief, I’d been worried that there’d be some bad blood between the two. Two powerful unicorns with a grudge against each other can cause some serious destruction. While Lily didn’t have Twilight’s raw power, she did know plenty of tricks to make up for it. More than enough to be dangerous.

“I don’t deserve it after yesterday, but do you think we could be friends?” Lily asked, earning a quiet nod of approval from me.

“Aw, but I was just getting used to having you as an enemy,” Twilight joked, pulling the other mare into a much gentler hug.

“That’s a yes,” Luna whispered loudly at Lily’s confused look.

“Thanks,” Lily whispered back as Twilight released her.

“Anytime, you looked as confused as I feel whenever I see your mother’s cutie mark,” Luna replied, getting looks from everyone, “What? I really can’t tell what two blobs are supposed to mean.”

“They’re not blobs dear, they’re hips. See this blue one here over this pink one,” Lucky clarified as she showed off her mark. Luna’s eyes widened as the pieces fit together in her mind.

“You...really? How? I mean, I don’t want to seem rude but…” Luna stammered.

“I know. I know. You meet a mare whose special talent is being a good lay and you wonder how the stars did she discover that at thirteen,” Lucky began.

“Uh huh,” Luna managed, looking torn between her curiosity and deep seated fear of the hotel owner.

“Mom, please, at least give me time to get away before you scar me for life,” Lily pleaded. Lucky simply smiled at her daughter and waited patiently for Lily and Twilight to teleport away before continuing.

“It was a pretty innocent thing actually, just me and the neighbor colt fooling around in his parent’s shed. You know, the typical teenager stuff. What’s this? What’s that? That sorta thing. Well, eventually we stumbled onto exactly how ‘this’ and ‘that’ worked and boom, tramp stamp. Heh, the light from it appearing actually got us caught,” Lucky concluded.

“That’s actually pretty tame compared to what I was expecting,” Luna commented.

“Sorry about the light details, my memory isn’t what it once was,” Lucky apologized.

“There it is,” Luna groaned.

“Anyone else still have that dread?” I asked before Luna could discover whether her brain parasite would let her have an aneurysm. It wouldn't.

“Yeah, but why?” Lucky responded, looking around.

“I don’t know, Abaddon?”

“I haven’t noticed anything unusual,” the leviathan replied.

“Keep your eyes peeled, I’d rather not have another spider incident,” I ordered as I walked over to my chair for a cigarette. Instead of finding the usual leather package in the pocket, my hand pressed into something soft and sticky, “If this is shit, somepony is getting shaved.”

Sure enough, my hand came out of the pocket covered in feces. Luna gasped at the cruel prank but I just consumed the biomatter like any other, leaving my chair spotless in less than a second. My cigarettes were nowhere to be found however.

“Oh it is ON now. Abbadon, Tzu, now. I want perimeter sweeps every five seconds. Someone get me locations on HVTs, I want inches people. Cat, boobs, you’re on distraction duty. Luna, grab anything that sneaks past the patrols. Lucky...you’re fucking useless here, go inside,” I ordered, gesturing wildly as I sent enforcers scrambling to catch the thief. Tzu landed on the deck at a full sprint as he checked with every group that landed. Abaddon must’ve looked like a kicked beehive with all the enforcers flying around him.

“Sir, reports indicate that Pinkie is at work but Miss Dash has not yet been located,” Tzu stated after a brief moment.

“Then it’s her. Find her and bring her to me,” I instructed, bringing the full power of my army down on the one who had pranked me.

A quiet snicker brought my attention to a nearby cloud, easily missed by anything with lesser hearing. Tzu followed my gaze and nodded to a group of Gammas getting ready to head back out, sending them at the cloud in a whirl of wings and claws.

“Ooof,” Dash grunted as she was tossed at my feet by the enforcers, her legs and wings stuck to her body by globs of biomass.

“Hey Dash, you look like you pranked the wrong bioweapon,” I noted. Dash wheezed as she looked up at me, having had the wind knocked out of her by her rough landing.

“Worth it,” Dash managed as she regained her breath.

“The shit I’ll forgive, it was pretty high in nitrates, but I don’t care for thieves. Give me my cigs back and maybe I won’t shave you,” I threatened.

“You’re bluffing, you won’t leave me without my coat this close to winter,” Dash replied confidently, her smile dropped when I stroked her head and came back with a chunk of her mane, “Gilda has them, she dropped by earlier today and we’ve been pranking everypony.”

“Was that so hard?” I cooed, rubbing my thumb on the side of her muzzle. She’d have a large bald spot on the side of her face, but she wouldn’t freeze.

“I don’t know any ‘Gilda’ but there is a gryphon walking around town,” Tzu reported.

“That might be her, might not,” Dash replied, unwilling to give up her friend.

“How about this: in exchange for getting my cigarettes back and not being stolen from again, I’ll help you prank the shit out of Gilda. Deal?” I offered.

Rainbow Dash thought about my offer for several seconds before making up her mind, “Deal.”

“Cool. Hey Tzu, I might need an expert for this one; fetch me Discord, would you?” I requested, getting an evil grin in return as the enforcer hurried inside.

“The Discord? As in-” Dash began.

“Make the world go topsy-turvy, change the way you think, and tie your breath in a knot, Discord? Yes indeedy missereeny,” Discord finished, with Rainbow Dash’s voice.

“Gah!” Dash cried in alarm, jumping to take flight on reflex and ending up in Discord’s mismatched arms.

“If I never find anything else admirable about you, you are definitely punctual,” I commented.

“Are you kidding? I’d never miss an opportunity to spread some good old fashioned chaos, especially when it’s part of a prank war. I adore prank wars,” Discord replied, seeming giddy at the very thought.

“Glad you’re on board, let’s make a game plan. My initial thinking is based on something you said before, that you would alter gravity to let ponies walk on walls and whatnot. Could you do that here?” I began.

“Sure, but that’s small time. I could make it so that everything the pranked pony ate or drank tasted like old broccoli. Or make it so when they tried to walk forwards, they go backwards instead,” Discord countered.

“Huh, I hadn’t thought that far into it. Tzu, any news on the gryphon?” I asked.

“Pinkie has decided that she’s too grumpy and has invited her to a party,” Abaddon responded. Looking around, I discovered Tzu wasn’t back yet.

“Can you make us invisible?” I asked Discord, a new idea forming.

“And partially intangible, which is obviously the best kind of intangible. Lets you mess with stuff instead of just being there,” Discord confirmed, growing a sly smile.

“To Sugarcube Corner then, we’ve got a war to win,” I declared, discovering that Discord, Dash, and I were already there as I finished speaking. Pinkie looked around in confusion, but shrugged and went back to hanging streamers when she didn’t see us. I looked at the translucent pair before me and smiled evilly, this was going to be fun.

The party started bare seconds after the last decoration was placed, though none would know from Pinkie’s expression. The party mare was as excited as ever as she led pony after pony into the main room of the bakery, showing off the confections quickly before rushing back to repeat the process. Rainbow and Discord took positions on the ceiling as I crept around on the floor, each of us waiting for our target to arrive.

Just as Pinkie’s mane started drooping, the door to the bakery slammed open a final time. On the other side stood a particularly grumpy looking gryphon who looked around for a long moment before wandering inside. I was not getting a good impression from my feathered target as she rudely snapped at any pony that got in her way, though there was something about her I couldn’t place.

Discord struck first, toggling the friction of Gilda’s pads on and off and causing her to bump into just about everyone she passed. Each time the gryphon refused to admit fault and accused the pony of trying to start something.

Discord stopped when Gilda slid into the wrong pony, sending a shy pegasus to the ground from the impact.

“Watch where you’re going, dweeb. You trying to start something, huh?” Gilda snapped, sending Fluttershy scrambling away in fear. I had seen enough, it was my turn now.

“You should be more polite to one so kind,” I whispered into the gryphon’s ear, letting her phase right through me as she whirled to face whoever had spoken.

“Alright, who said that?” Gilda demanded when she didn’t find any of the partygoers close enough.

“I did, what are you going to do about it?” I taunted into her other ear.

“Trying to start something? It won’t go well for you,” Gilda threatened, causing the ponies to move further away from her supposed psychotic break.

“There are many somethings that can be started, I know not what you refer to,” I continued from directly in front of her beak.

A savage peck passed through my head harmlessly, “Show yourself coward.”

“Thank you, that helps me understand. You either wish to fight or…” I ran my finger along the gryphon’s beak and around her head, not stopping until it reached the end of her tail, “...you seek a mate.”

“I’ll kill you for that,” Gilda screeched, sending all of the ponies scrambling for the exits as talons began cutting the air around the gryphon.

“You should’ve paid more attention gryphon, you’d know you cannot harm me. But such is the way of every fool that threatens the favored of the Everfree,” I sighed from inside Gilda’s beak, causing the panicked gryphon to jump back.

“By the isles, what are you talking about?” Gilda demanded.

“The pegasus, the yellow one, she is favored by the spirits of the Everfree Forest. She alone may walk our trees unmolested, she alone is granted our protection. It has been many winters since the last was chosen, but surely our legend survives? Surely our warning survives?” I prompted, making everything up as I went.

“Warning?” Gilda asked just as Dash figured out her role and crept up behind her friend.

“You will serve to rekindle it, there is no point in speaking to the dead,” I growled at a normal volume, positioning myself behind Gilda’s head. Dash took my cue and jerked the gryphon back by her hind legs while I bound her wings, resulting in the screaming gryphon being pulled backward out of the shop. The only evidence left behind was the deep furrows left by her talons.

Dash drug Gilda right through the center of town on her way to the forest, causing quite a scene as ponies stopped everything to watch the terrified gryphon go by with her hind legs in the air and talons digging into the dirt of the road. I maintained a cruel cackle as I followed along, looking to all the world as if Gilda was being hauled off by a ghost.

“The sacrifice is ready,” I hissed loudly as we neared the forest. The small crowd of concerned ponies following us gasped in alarm as they realized what they were witnessing.

“Noooooo, you stay. Learn,” I ordered when a few tried to flee.

“Somepony get the princess or Jekyll, they’ll know how to handle this fiend!” a member of the crowd shouted, though none were willing to risk leaving. Gilda watched them stare at her as she was lifted into the air and hung on invisible lines between two trees.

“Are you scared little gryphon? Afraid of the spirits? Afraid to die?” I asked, continuing my hissing.

“Yes okay, is that what you want to hear? I’m terrified of whatever you are and I don’t wanna die like a loser,” Gilda all but sobbed.

“Then don’t act like one,” I replied, dropping the act and Gilda. After a few seconds of mass confusion, Discord finally decided to return us to the visible spectrum. In doing so he revealed exactly how close I was to Gilda’s beak, “You can start by returning what you stole from me.”

“Motel,” Gilda managed, even more terrified now that there was an angry Jekyll in her face.

“You have family in the blood cult?” I asked suspiciously, referencing my name for the sect of the gryphon military that still believed I was a god. Just because one lousy emperor nine hundred and something years ago decides I might as well be a war god doesn’t mean it has to be a thing.

“No,” Gilda answered meekly.

“But you know of it,” I stated.

“We all do,” Gilda confirmed.

“And you know who I am?”

“Of course, lord Jekyll.”

“And yet you still thought robbing me was a good idea?” I continued, though I didn’t give her time to respond, “Bravo, I haven't seen bravery like that in far too long. Be proud gryphon, and go with honor. But please drop the attitude, it’s unbecoming.”

“Uh...okay,” Gilda muttered as she began wandering off, her mind still processing the rapid turns the past few minutes had taken. As enough pieces started to fit, she turned back and bowed, “Thank you for saving me lord Jekyll, honor upon your house.”

“Gilda, the spirit of the Everfree is something I made up,” I deadpanned.

“Then what dragged me out here?”

“Rainbow Dash, in exchanged for not getting shaved.”

“She said you two were close, you’d do that this close to winter?”

“Take a look at the left side of her face when she comes out of hiding,” I replied, actually getting a genuine smile out of the gryphon. ‘Just gotta speak the same language.’

“Glad I’m not on the chopping block then,” Gilda commented, her relief clear on her face.

“You will be unless you apologize to Shy, threatening her like that is more than I’ll allow at the best of times,” I warned, getting an instant reaction out of the chick. Gilda sprinted back into town and began her desperate search for the timid pegasus. Her speed clearly bolstered by the additional meaning to my words. With the gryphon gone, the collective attention of the crowd moved onto me, “I like gryphons, all you gotta do is make sure they know who’s in charge and they’ll be more loyal than a dog. Better in a scrape too.”

“Is there really a bald spot on my face?” Dash asked as she emerged from wherever she was hiding.

“Yes, I remember teaching you not to steal. It’ll be your mane next time,” I replied, making the prismatic mare’s ears droop.

“Sorry,” Dash apologized.

“I figure we’re even, just don’t make me repeat this lesson. I assume you know where Gilda is staying?” I prompted.

“Just that she’s rented a room, I don’t know which one,” Dash admitted.

“Shouldn’t be that hard, there’s only one motel and she’s the only gryphon in town,” I replied, already starting to walk towards where my property had been taken.

“You’re just going to break in?” Dash asked, shocked at such a thought.

“Duh, it’s my shit in there. Not like they could stop me anyway,” I reasoned.

“But that’s illegal,” Dash complained.

“I have eaten gryphons alive for being disrespectful, this is me being nice,” I rebutted, causing Dash to stop as she processed this information.

“But you said-” Dash began.

“Yep, I like gryphon culture. It’s built on honor and families, while the gryphons themselves are surprisingly similar to my people. Minus a few big attitude differences, like their initial arrogance. But what I’m talking about are duels, where a gryphon that doesn’t believe in your honor will deliberately insult you. In these cases the resulting fight is fast and short, leaving one or both parties dead. Dragging out the fight or surrendering is dishonorable to both, but exceptions are made for the other races. I myself don’t get these waivers and have to act as fast as I possibly can to kill my opponent, so I’d usually just grab them and shove them in my mouth,” I explained, showing off my teeth for emphasis and making a few other pedestrians cast nervous looks in my direction, “That said, there are ways around dueling someone you don’t want to kill. Getting even, mainly.”

“Dude, you scary sometimes,” Dash commented.

“I’m scary all the time, you’re just used to me,” I replied, laughing at the petulant look on Dash’s face

We continued making small talk as we approached Ponyville’s only motel, aptly named ‘The Ponyville Motel.’ Once there, it was a simple matter to get the room number out of the underpaid attendant.

“Two-oh-five, two-oh-six, here we are,” I announced, reaching for the handle.

“You weren’t kidding, you’re really going to break into Gilda’s room,” Dash commented, seeming offended.

“Not like I’m gonna go through her underwear drawer, I’m just going to retrieve my stuff,” I reassured the pegasus once again, though when I turned to face her she had already flown off.

“Whatever,” I said to myself as I fed tendrils into the lock and pushed the tumblers out of the way.

I noticed a prismatic blur flying up from the motel, but didn’t think anything of it as I returned to gazing contentedly at the newly rebuilt town, it felt good to have everypony back in their homes and happily returning to their lives. It was truly a testament to their resilience that they could go about their day as though nothing had happened at all. Yes, everything was peaceful…

...Until that blur crashed into me at a ridiculous speed, sending me tumbling across the deck. I might’ve gone over the other side if I hadn’t crashed into an enforcer.

“Anypony get tha number offa that cart?” I asked in a daze.

“No ma’am, but we do have a name and the subject in custody,” the enforcer replied.

“Das good, Imma jus’ lay here until I only have four hoovsies. Das too many,” I declared, looking at my tangled legs in confusion.

“Princess, Jay’s going to break into Gilda’s room and steal his stuff back,” Rainbow Dash called as a pair of enforcers carried her past me.

“But das illegal, he cant do dat,” I slurred.

“Look I’m sorry for crashing into you, but we need to get over there before Jay gets the town guard sent after him,” Rainbow Dash insisted.

“Is okey, I’m startin’ ta feel better already,” I replied as I shook the cobwebs out of my head and climbed to my hooves, “You said Jay’s getting himself in trouble? Let’s go.”

“Got my stuff, no muss, no fuss, a nice clean break for once,” I commented as I relocked the door and started walking away. A loud pop behind me caused me to stop and look back, “Hey Luna, what’s up?”

“Were you going to take your cigarettes back by force? Thank goodness Rainbow told me in time to stop you. You can’t just hunt down the ponies that wrong you Jay, that’s what has sustained your poor reputation over the years. You should try being more forgiving, maybe you could even document it to remind yourself not to rush to action every time,” Luna ranted, gesturing wildly as she tried to push the ‘Magic of Friendship’ onto me. I just pulled out a cigarette and let her rant while I smoked it. When she didn’t get the hint I flicked the butt at her, bouncing it off her chest, “Ow, what was that for?”

“Gilda’s a gryphon, I can either take my stuff back or rip her spine out. I am being forgiving. ‘Sides, I already took my cigs and lighter back,” I replied.

“Oh.”

“All that’s left is to let her know that we’re even before she finishes writing her will,” I added, turning back towards the stairs.

“Why not fly there? Surely that would be faster,” Luna suggested before pressing a hoof to her face, “Shoot, I forgot Rainbow.”

“That’s actually the second slowest for me, I usually only fly when I don’t want to be noticed. Fastest is in the water, slowest is underground. But today, I feel like walking,” I declared with a slight chuckle at Luna’s admission, finding I was now being followed when I returned to my trek.

“Do you know where she is?” Luna asked after several minutes of walking.

“She’s probably finished apologizing to Shy, so no,” I replied.

“So what, we’re just going to wander around town until we find her?” Luna guessed.

“Yep,” I agreed.

“I thought you liked efficiency,” Luna pointed out.

“I do. I’m taking a relaxing stroll while keeping an eye out for the only gryphon in town at the same time,” I responded.

“Huh,” Luna muttered before falling silent. After a few more minutes, Luna moved up to walk next to me and seemed to be enjoying the peaceful walk.

Gilda found us before we found her, but stayed true to her honor and faced me like a gryphon, “Thank you for the time to prepare, shall we begin?”

“Over what slight?” I asked as I lit another cigarette and smiled. Gilda’s eyes widened at the sight and a smile crept across her beak as well.

“Thank you lord, honor upon your house,” Gilda said gratefully, bowing quickly as she moved to leave.

“On yours as well little one, but know that you are in my territory and I will not tolerate any fighting. Go on now, have some fun,” I replied with a shooing motion, sending the gryphon off with a smile and a new attitude.

“Have you ever considered becoming a diplomat? I’ve seen ‘professionals’ only serve to enrage guests from the other nations,” Luna inquired as we returned to wandering around the newly reconstructed Ponyville.

“I know more about their cultures than a pony ever will, comes with living there for decades at a time. It helps that I’m the last living lord of Gryphonia,” I responded.

“Yet another title?” Luna pressed.

“I owned a home, not anything big, but a nice little place. Had it paid off, kept up the land, it was nice. When Gryphonia sank into the ocean, all of the surviving property owners got lordships as compensation for their lost property and families. As they died off, it became a sort of celebrity status. A ‘wow, this guy lived in the capital’ type of thing. That was around five hundred years ago, but my lordship is still valid and honored,” I explained.

“Tia didn’t…” Luna trailed off.

“Earthquake, broke the whole shelf off. I tried to find a connection, but there wasn’t one. Shit just happens sometimes,” I continued somberly, “My dog got crushed under a beam when the house collapsed, at least she didn’t suffer.”

“I didn’t know you had a dog, I’m sorry to hear about that though,” Luna consoled, setting her wing on my shoulders, “Wait, if you’re a lord, why was the gryphon ambassador so callous with you?”

“There’s individual honor and national honor, the two don’t always reciprocate. I may be respected by a gryphon on the street, but that same individual may be required to act as the voice of the state. Her obligation to the isles was greater than her obligation to me, I understood and she knew that,” I explained.

“Gryphons are weird and complicated now,” Luna complained, scuffing the dirt as her time on the moon made itself known once more, “Maybe a more pleasant topic is in order. You said you had a dog, any others?”

“I’ve had a lot of dogs, some cats, and I stole a bird once. Never saw the time go by with me though, and I’ve buried them all. I guess you’re the only one who gets to shit on my floor through the centuries,” I listed, hoping my joke would lighten the mood.

“I think you’d get along well with a nocturne, if you can find one,” Luna suggested.

“A what now?” I asked.

“A nocturne, surely you’ve at least heard of them,” Luna insisted.

“No, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I reaffirmed.

“Oh, well they are pretty rare. They’re the opposite of a phoenix, being large bats that live in only the deepest caves. They’re fiercely intelligent and loyal to any who gain their favor, but are quick to action when they feel threatened. I have seen one take on an entire pack of timberwolves and win without so much as a scratch. Sound like anypony you know so far?” Luna tempted.

“No ponies I know match that description, but a bioform does,” I replied, liking this idea more and more.

“They’re immortal too. Not like phoenixes though, they don’t regenerate every few decades. They’re more akin to alicorns in that none have ever died of old age, though nocturnes can be killed with a silver dagger dipped in the blood of a dead minotaur,” Luna continued, though that last bit through me for a loop.

“Wait, back up. A silver dagger dipped in minotaur blood?” I confirmed.

“Yes, the blade must be between thirteen and eighteen inches long and the minotaur must be dead for at least two days but no longer than a week. Doesn’t this sound like the perfect pet for you? All we need to do is find a thestral to guide us to one,” Luna concluded. I had no idea what was happening anymore.

“The fuck is a thestral?” I asked, feeling like we were going in circles.

“Bat ponies?” Luna attempted.

“All the bloodsuckers I ever knew preferred to be called stalkers,” I corrected.

“No, not vamponies. Bat ponies. They’re born that way, not molded by an ancient curse. It’s a type of pegasus. Are they not known anymore either?” Luna insisted.

“No, I’ve never heard of them either,” I confirmed.

“They sided with me during the war, this is my fault,” Luna reasoned, “I can only hope they’ve gone into hiding instead of being wiped out by Tia.”

“Pretty sure I caught her ire soon enough to let them get away, and it’s Nightmare’s fault. I wish you’d stop blaming yourself for everything she did,” I insisted.

“I know you do, but it was my body and my fractured mind that caused so much suffering,” Luna argued.

“But not your will, and that’s what matters to me,” I began before glancing around to ensure we weren’t being eavesdropped on and dropping my voice, “Chin up, huh? It’s a dark time when the sexiest flanks in Equestria are too sad to strut proudly.”

Luna blushed at the compliment and quickly adjusted her gait to be more regal, “Thanks for the distraction, I needed that.”

“Anytime. But back on topic, where would we find a thestral?” I asked.

“A deep, dark cave, typically inside a mountain. Usually the same cave one might find a nocturne,” Luna answered.

“Any good in a fight?” I continued.

“Better than any three pegasi, what they lack in speed they make up for in maneuverability,” Luna replied.

“Good, we’ll have to track them down before the war begins. We’ll need their prowess,” I noted. Luna looked horrified.

“Absolutely not, I can’t drag them into two wars that could eliminate their species. They want to live peacefully, we should give them that,” Luna insisted.

“What if I gave them the option? Let them choose whether to remain separated or return to Equestria?” I offered.

“I can accept that, but I can’t be present nor can you mention any relationship with me. Doing so would pressure them into fighting,” Luna allowed.

“Deal. When we find them, I’ll go in alone and talk to their leader. If they don’t want to fight, they won’t have to,” I conceded.

“And while you’re there you’ll find a nocturne and bring it back, then you’ll have something to pet and feed,” Luna added, unconsciously pushing her head into the ear scratching I was giving her.

“I keep telling you, I already have something to pet and feed,” I stated.

“I am not a pet, but I am hungry. Twilight was telling me about something called a hayburger, why don’t we get some of those?” Luna suggested.

“Sure, I know a place down the street from Twilight’s,” I agreed.

“It’s okay, just let it out,” I cooed as I held Luna’s hair out of the way. The mare herself was vomiting up five hayburgers into a bush.

“They aren’t as good coming up,” Luna groaned between retches.

“Few things are. Like bananas, they taste the same,” I offered, causing Luna to heave even harder.

“Don’t let me do that again, uggg,” Luna pleaded.

“I didn’t let you do anything, you’re a grown ass mare and I assumed you could make your own decisions,” I chided.

“I didn’t know they’d do that. Can’t you make me feel better or something?” Luna begged.

“You didn’t know five burgers would make you sick? Seriously? You have less stomach capacity than some fillies I’ve seen. But no, I won’t settle your stomach for you. If I coddled you at every turn, you’d get weak. This will pass and you’ll be stronger for it,” I rebutted.

“Can we do the whole learn to be a good leader thing tomorrow? It feels like my insides are at war with themselves,” Luna complained.

“That’s what happens when you binge through five servings with no stomach capacity worth mentioning,” I replied, still refusing to calm her raging stomach.

“That’s the tradeoff then? A toned figure or five burgers?” Luna asked through a mouthful of someone’s lawn.

“Probably safe to assume five will always be too many,” I advised.

“Okay, I think that’s all of it. Stars above, I feel awful,” Luna complained as she fell onto her side.

“Let’s get you some water, it’ll help you recover and wash the taste out of your mouth,” I suggested.

“Can you bring it to me? I don’t wanna move,” Luna requested.

“Nope. You got into this mess, you can get back out. I will help you up though,” I allowed, grabbing the prone alicorn around her middle and setting her on her hooves. Luna leaned on me the entire way back to the fast food restaurant and all but collapsed into her seat when we finally reached it.

“Could I have some, hurg,” Luna managed before having to hold back another round of sickness.

“Some water please. Take a lesson kiddos, even a princess can’t eat five burgers. Listen to your parents when they tell you it’s too much,” I announced, prompting all of the children present to seek approval before eating another bite and the cooks to breathe a sigh of relief that they weren’t being blamed.

There was a full pitcher of ice water on the table within seconds and Luna helped herself to three glasses before just taking the whole thing and drinking greedily.

“Gonna get waterlogged,” I warned. The pitcher returned to the table instantly, it’s former holder looking at it fearfully.

“Is nothing safe?” Luna wondered.

“Not in excess. Just slow down a bit and give your body time to absorb the water you’ve already had, then you can have more if you’re still thirsty,” I instructed, internally wondering how Luna had survived this long.

After a few minutes Luna’s stomach grumbled, causing her so smile sheepishly at the nearby waiter, “Could I get something light?”

“Light?” the waiter asked.

“Hayfries,” I clarified.

“Of course, any sauce?”

“It comes with sauce?” Luna asked.

“One of each then,” I answered with a hand to my face in sympathetic embarrassment.

“Right away,” the poor, confused waiter replied before scurrying off.

“What sauce?” Luna asked, turning towards me.

“A bunch of them. Heh, your newness to the current era is really showing right now,” I commented.

“Are ponies staring?” Luna asked, leaning in conspiratorially.

“They’ve been staring since we walked in the first time,” I replied.

“Now I feel foalish for not knowing these things,” Luna complained.

“It’ll come with time, you are a thousand years out of place,” I reasoned.

“It doesn’t seem to hinder me that much though, makes it more noticeable when it does,” Luna countered.

“That’s because you rarely leave Abaddon. The more you come down here and interact with the locals, the faster you’ll acclimate to how the world works now,” I advised.

“I’ll do that. Right now, in fact,” Luna declared, “You can go home if you want, I’ll be here with my little ponies for the rest of the day.”

“Tzu’s running the show right now and I want to see how he does without my corrections, so I’m going to be down here too,” I responded, “Plus there’s supposed to be some magic act in town tonight and I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean.”

“A magic act? Like this?” Luna asked, lifting the pitcher with her telekinesis.

“Dunno, that’s why I want to go. Pure curiosity,” I replied.

“Where did you hear about this? I didn’t notice anything,” Luna asked. I pointed at the window next to our booth, where the backside of a flier could be clearly seen and read, “Oh, right.”

“You coming too?”

“I think I will, but I’m going to wander for a while. I’ll meet you there,” Luna decided. Once Luna finished refilling her stomach to a more comfortable level, I paid and we went our separate ways.

After a few minutes of walking, I happened across a familiar gryphon, “Gilda.”

“L-Lord Jekyll, I wasn’t expecting to see you again,” Gilda greeted, bowing respectfully.

“It is by chance, I assure you. Tell me, little one, why do you walk alone?” I asked.

“I didn’t fight, but I snapped at the pink one. I thought she was messing with me and I yelled at her, now I think I’ve lost Rainbow as a friend,” Gilda answered honestly.

“The lone hunter will never compare to the pride,” I noted, “But that’s not all, is it?”

“I hide nothing elder, but...do you have anywhere more private?” Gilda requested. At my gesture, large jaws erupted from the ground and snapped shut around us.

“Gilda, meet Jeffrey. He essentially is Ponyville,” I introduced.

“Your secrets are safe with me,” Jeffrey promised.

“It’s better than in the street. Yeah, it’s more than losing Rainbow’s friendship...no, it is that. It’s confusing,” Gilda attempted.

“Do you know why I demanded you apologize to Fluttershy? She’s my ward, so are Rainbow Dash and Applejack. I won’t risk fighting between my wards, but I do know almost everything about them. I know Dash went through a curious phase, but never learned who she was with. I think I know now,” I prompted, using terms I knew the gryphon would understand.

“I never told anyone, but I’m not surprised she did. It was just fun for her, it didn’t mean anything. But I...I think I love her,” Gilda confessed.

“How old are you?” I asked, already having a rough estimate based on her size.

“Nineteen,” Gilda replied.

“Get out there and live your damn life, don’t let one failed relationship fuck up your future. If everyone pined over their teenage crush, the entire world wouldn’t be able to function. I’m not saying to forget, just don’t be held back. If you still feel this way in five years and Dash hasn’t settled down, I’ll step in and talk to her,” I ordered, shocking the gryphon with my bluntness.

“But-” Gilda began.

“But nothing. This is elder wisdom chick, directly from the last lord of Gryphonia,” I asserted.

“Of course lord, honor upon your house,” Gilda conceded submissively.

I sighed and tried a more gentle approach before the young gryphon could shut down completely, “Gilda, I’m trying to help you. I’ve seen too many sit in your position and grow to become weak, they feel wronged and can’t move on. If Dash doesn’t feel the same way, then the best thing you can do for the both of you is move on.”

“I-I need time to think, thank you elder,” Gilda responded with another polite bow, one that I returned.

“You are still young and full of life, go have fun,” I urged as the jaws around us receded into the ground, leaving no trace that they were ever there.

“Would it be acceptable if I walked with you, elder? I don’t know anyone else here,” Gilda requested.

“You may, but I’m going to a magic show in a couple hours. It’ll probably be lame,” I warned, getting a weak laugh out of the gryphon.

“They put up a stage? For this?” Gilda asked, “What kinds of dweebs are these?”

“Pompous ones, but it has drawn quite a crowd,” I replied as I looked around, finding Luna looking back at me and Shy sitting with her friends. Luna started making her way towards me while Gilda and I headed for Shy’s group.

We were all together a few seconds later and chatting idly while we waited for the show to start. Gilda kept looking at Dash but couldn’t find the nerve to speak, “Gilda, it’ll be easier if you start with an apology.”

My words cut through our chatter and everyone looked at the gryphon as she found her words, “I’m sorry for being a jerk, I didn’t know how to deal with what was happening and I snapped.”

“It’s okay silly filly, I knew you didn’t mean it,” Pinkie replied, bouncing forward to hug the uncomfortable gryphon. Gilda grimaced at the contact but still placed a talon on Pinkie’s back, returning the awkward hug.

“Are we cool?” Gilda asked, looking at Dash for approval.

“Yeah, we’re cool,” Dash agreed under the weight of my insistent glare.

“Good. Now that we’re all friends again, let’s see what a magic act means in Equestria,” I suggested as a light blue mare walked onto the stage.

As the show continued, I found I didn’t like this particular pony very much. The way she belittled her audience with her insufferable lies was in poor taste. I sent that Ursa limping home.

Spike kept nudging Twilight and urging her to step in, mirroring my poking of Luna. Though both refused to take action for the same reason, they didn’t want to show off. Even when this ‘Trixie’ challenged Twilight directly, she backed down.

Applejack wasn’t so timid, and was tied up in her own lasso for her trouble. Rainbow, enraged by the treatment of her friend, stepped up and did a portion of her acrobatics routine in her effort to outdo the showpony, but had to be rescued by Gilda when her own rainbow turned on her.

Between blinks of the boastful unicorn, the tall biped in the crowd was replaced by a black furred stallion with a red mane and a cutie mark of three jagged red slashes.

Rarity’s pathetic attempt at outdoing the other unicorn was barely worth mentioning but when Luna bristled at the personal attack on Twilight that followed, I decided it was my turn.

“Oh, another earth pony thinks he can outshine the great and powerful Trixie?” Trixie mocked, eagerly jumping onto her new target as I calmly walked up to the stage.

“Yeah, I got a challenge for ya,” I drawled.

“Are you going to keep Trixie waiting long? She has a show to perform after all,” the pony taunted.

“It’s my special talent, I’m challenging you to my favorite game. I’m the best in the world at it, so I know you’ll lose or give up,” I bragged, continuing my dumb redneck act.

Trixie actually got in my face as she tried to intimidate me, this was too perfect, “So what’s this game you’re about to lose? Trixie could use another title.”

My claws sprouted from my hoof as I grabbed the braggart’s head and cracked a wicked looking, fang filled, smile before growling my answer, “Who’s the better killer?”

A wet plop hit the stage as the showpony’s bowels emptied, she had clearly never seen a hint of danger in her life. Being in the claws of a predator was far more than she was prepared for.

“This is Equestria’s greatest and most powerful unicorn? I’ve known dead ponies with more skill than you, more bravery too,” I mocked, “Speak worm, are you going to admit defeat or die like every other challenger I’ve faced?”

Trixie was in tears by now, her bravado undone the second she saw my teeth, “I give up, you win, just please don’t kill Trixie.”

“Thought so, the cowardly always hide behind their pathetic lies. You’ve never even seen an Ursa Major, but you’re happy to take credit for MY work, my strength and skill. All you have are your lies and cruelty, I pity you,” I spat as I returned to my normal form and walked off the stage, leaving the sniveling showpony crying in a pile of her own shit.

“Dude, I didn’t like her either, but that was extreme,” Spike commented as I walked past.

“I agree, I really think you should apologize for that,” Luna added.

“No. I don’t care if she huddles in a corner for the rest of her short life, she pissed me off,” I snapped.

“Jay, just stop,” Luna ordered as I walked away. I wasn’t followed this time.

The streets were eerily quiet tonight, but I was fine with that. I decided to check on Tzu and Abaddon, they usually cheered me up, but knew in the back of my mind that Luna would return with some sob story about how hard it is to grow up in the city. Trixie’s attitude wasn’t my responsibility, her mental health wasn’t my problem, and her methods did nothing but anger me. I might’ve been cruel on the battlefield, but never mean spirited. My methods had a specific purpose, to weaponize my enemy’s fear and break them before they could threaten my troops. This ‘show’ was just mean for the sake of being mean.

“Sir,” Tzu greeted when I reached Abaddon’s foot.

“Hey Tzu, what are you doing down here?” I asked in return.

“Abaddon saw you walking back alone, so I hopped down to see why,” Tzu replied.

“I got pissed and scared the fuck out of some traveling braggart, the ponies didn’t take it well,” I explained curtly.

“I don’t understand,” Tzu commented.

“Me neither,” I agreed, spreading my wings as I prepared for the short flight to the deck.

“If all you did was scare the traveler, why would they be angry? Why only scare it anyway?” Tzu asked as we landed on the deck.

“I didn’t kill her because she was just annoying, she didn’t hurt anyone. As for why the others are mad, I have no idea. They’ll get over it though, they know it’s not in my nature to care about anything I’m not the cause of,” I reasoned as I walked over and fell into my chair, finally able to return my cigarettes and lighter to their pocket.

Luna teleported up as I was halfway through my first cigarette, “What the fuck?”

“She humiliated AJ and Dash, getting a taste for herself seemed just to me,” I responded between drags.

“Don’t you care about her at all?” Luna pressed.

“Should I?”

“YES!”

“Why?”

“Because it’s all she knows. Trixie was orphaned at a young age, she only knows how to get attention by bringing others down. Twilight’s working with her now, trying to both help her recover from the fright you gave her and teach her how to make real friends. This is exactly what I was trying to say earlier, your hostile attitude towards anything that you perceive as wrong does nothing but paint yourself as a villain,” Luna ranted.

“You missed the reason why it’s my problem,” I pointed out.

“Trixie has a family name,” Luna began.

“Good for her, lots of unicorns do,” I snarked.

“It’s Lulamoon,” Luna finished, making it my problem. I knew that name, it was burned into my memory as the tipping point in my relationship with Gamma-one-two. That name marked the day I realized I couldn’t trust one of my favorite enforcers anymore.

“Damnit Fang,” I swore, “He just had to kill the mother of that insufferable bitch and make her feelings matter.”

“That’s right, now get down there and apologize,” Luna ordered.

“Really, like, right now? While she’s still pissing herself over the last time she saw me?” I confirmed. One bright flash later, I was in the library, “Well, that was rude.”

“Jekyll, get in here. Quick, before she sees you,” Twilight hissed quietly, her head sticking out of the kitchen. I looked around the library as I obeyed and found the blue unicorn lying by the window, her eyes thankfully closed for the moment.

“How is she?” I whispered once I was safely hidden in the kitchen.

Twilight’s horn flashed and an indigo shimmer appeared on the walls briefly before she spoke, “Not well. Her past issues are more than I know how to handle and her new phobia of you has her jumping at shadows, you may have crippled her with that stunt.”

“And I wouldn’t care if one of mine hadn’t killed her mom,” I replied.

“Did her grandmother poison your dog or something, what the hay?” Twilight shot back.

“Don’t think so. Any way I can help?” I asked.

“If you show her the same kindness you show Luna, that might ease her fear. Catrix knows more about psychology than I do, she might be able to help her move past her childhood trauma and public humiliation. And I’m happy to help her make friends,” Twilight listed.

“Then I’ll do what I can to lessen her fear,” I promised.

I peeked into the main room before creeping in and silently moving to sit next to Trixie’s position on the cushioned window ledge, content with just sitting there until she noticed my presence. I could see Trixie’s eyes darting around in panic even before their lids opened, though both her eyes and the rest of her body froze when they landed on me.

“Twilight tells me you’ve developed a phobia of me, that’s ridiculous. A phobia is an irrational fear, any level of fear regarding me is only sensible. And yet despite this, I’m not going to hurt you. Not one hair on your head. I didn’t know before, but I actually owe you for something one of my children did a long time ago. So instead I’m offering you my protection and a home here,” I began, wary of the likely harsh reply I’d be receiving.

Trixie remained frozen for a long moment before finding her voice, “How’s the rent?”

I nearly gave Trixie a heart attack with my booming laughter, “I’ve got a tenant paying one bit a month, how’s that sound?”

“O-Okay, and you’re not keeping me around as a snack right?”

“No.”

“Can I still do my show?” Trixie asked hopefully.

“Not until Twilight approves your lineup, I won’t allow anything mean spirited in my town,” I stated firmly, though I kept my voice as easygoing as possible.

“When you say protection…” Trixie trailed off.

“Nothing threatens my town and lives to warn the next fool, you’re sitting in the safest place in Equestria. You would get the same level of protection as any other pony,” I promised.

“I’ll think about it, thanks for not eating me,” Trixie replied.

“I try not to. This side of you is nice, you should show it more often. The third person thing got old really quickly,” I advised.

“It’s actually annoying for me too, but the Manehattan ponies loved it,” Trixie agreed.

“Leave it to those snobs to enjoy seeing each other ridiculed,” I sighed, shaking my head in disappointment.

“TWILIGHT COME QUICK, THERE’S AN URSA RAMPAGING THROUGH TOWN!” Spike shouted in panic as he sprinted into the library as fast as his short legs could carry him.

“Son of a bitch, I just rebuilt this fucker,” I complained as I stormed outside, fully prepared to show off my kind of skill for the showpony, “ABADDON! THIS ONE’S MINE!”

Author's Notes:

Told ya 21 was coming along well, despite the brief hiatus as we pieced together the worst possible things the Merchant could do to a group. Anyway, I was back in my groove for this one, a real joy to write now that we've fully moved past the spiders' mini-arc and are back to pushing forward.

Eric's Editor's Note:
Eeyep. Trixie is here.
Even though I was told that shotgun shitting herself was too far.
And that panic teleportation of her hat and cape into her guts was also too far.
...
It woulda' been funny.
...
Still. This is now my head-cannon for Griffins.

Militia's Editor's Note:
Putting some more world-building in regards to griffins. Really happy about that. Can't wait to show off more of what we have in store.