“Sleeping on my back is not a comfort exercise!” I complained as Luna and I walked onto the deck so she could raise the moon.

“I’ll say, you make a terrible bed,” Luna agreed, popping her back as she readied her magic.

“I fucking bet. I offer to add some blisters but nooo, you want to sleep on rock hard chitin,” I continued.

“Enough, I have plenty of cramps to dissuade me from trying that again,” Luna grumbled as the sun set behind her and the moon rose.

“Sir, if I may have a moment?” a Mike asked from behind me.

“Damn! You trying to get into the Spooks?” I yelped as I spun into a defensive position.

“No sir, I simply have a message from the Krakens for you,” the mike replied, catching my attention as Luna was fixated on a star that was out of place.

“Report,” I ordered, turning serious.

“They have engaged a small fleet of enemy warships six miles off our coast. One enemy vessel managed to escape before it could be destroyed, Kraken-One reports the use of ranged weaponry by the enemy forces,” the Mike relayed.

“Elaborate,” I commanded, realizing that I had never finished my design for a biological ranged weapon.

“According to Kraken-Three, the enemy opened fire with weapons similar to the one you designed a few weeks ago, though firing a single large projectile. They also possessed smaller versions wielded by individual gryphons and minotaurs, both weapon types required reloading after a single shot,” the Mike explained. My form unconsciously became more bestial, causing the Mike to back away.

“Abby, get me the captain of Sierra division. NOW!” I raged at my own ineptitude. The Sierra was violently dropped at my feet as I finished my statement.

“Ab-” The head of my science division was interrupted by my claw wrapping around his throat and lifting him to my face.

“Ranged weapons. Don’t care how. Go,” I growled before dropping the Sierra into Abaddon’s waiting tendrils, which transported him back to wherever he came from.

“Sir, are you-” the Mike began.

“An idiot? Clearly. I never made anything that could fight at further than arm’s length, and now we’re playing catch-up for the first time in our history. Holy FUCK, I’m so stupid,” I said as I knocked my head against the only vertical structure, the doorway into Abaddon’s internal structure.

“Jay, calm down. It isn’t like they could harm you anyway,” Luna pointed out, still working on fixing the wayward star.

“I’m not worried about myself. I’m terrified that Lucky or any of her daughters or you will be in their sights,” I admitted, my form returning to its normal state as I began pacing.

“Sir, Kraken-One is also requesting an additional four members for his team. He says that the reason any ships escaped is that only half of the Krakens were able to respond,” the Mike added.

“I see, have Tzu manage the order. Scratch that, I want two more squads backing them up. And have them leave one surviving vessel every time the enemy tries to run, just so they don’t forget my name,” I ordered with an evil grin, stopping my pacing.

“It’s times like this that make me wonder if you actually are as evil as Tia says,” Luna commented.

“Hmm, I have an idea on how to measure that,” I responded, “What would you call a creature that eats ponies?”

“A monster,” Luna replied easily.

“What about one that eats monsters?”

“A bigger monster. Is there a point to this?”

“Yes. And the thing that eats the bigger monsters?”

“A demon, which you are not,” Luna said pointedly.

“What do you call a creature that feasts on the mightiest of demons with impunity?” I asked, reaching the end of my line of questions.

“I don’t know. A dark god, maybe?” Luna guessed.

“I’m no god. Though you could make the ‘dark’ argument,” I said, looking at one of my pitch black hands.

“You eat demons? How in the name of the moon don’t you have magic?” Luna asked, flabbergasted.

“I have some. I use gryphon magic to help me fly, after all. But they were all really specific in their capabilities, I doubt I’ll ever have a need for undead goats or pony-dragon hybrids,” I replied, shrugging.

“You killed Tirek?” Luna gasped, awestruck.

“There were two actually, I killed the big one and the little one ran off. Never did find him again. Oh well, seemed like a chump anyway,” I corrected as Abaddon brought my chair up and I sat down.

“I don’t recall a second Tirek, perhaps it is a family name. Either way, that is quite the accomplishment,” Luna praised, walking over to where I sat.

“I. Am. Not. A. Pony. He couldn’t do anything to me, it was basically murder. Or lunch, depending on your perspective.”

“Oh, right. I suppose that would give you an advantage over my parents,” Luna replied sheepishly.

“Your folks caught him? At least they did something right,” I said grudgingly, not wanting to think of Luna’s parents in a positive light.

“I don’t want to talk about my parents either. What else can you do?” Luna pressed.

“Not much. Enslave people’s minds, steal shadows, diabolical shit like that,” I rattled off. Luna nodded as she climbed into my lap to rest her head on my shoulder, pinning my left arm under her as she did so.

“So when you say you don’t have magic, you mean anything useful to you,” she noted.

“More like anything I would actually use,” I corrected, “I’d love to be able to use telekinesis or teleportation, that’d be the tits.”

“Those are the most useful spells for everyday use, even if I don’t know what ‘tits’ is,” Luna agreed.

“I’ll tell you when you’re older,” I teased.

“I’m older than you, you jerk,” Luna countered as she punched lightly at my shoulder.

“Sir, Sierra-One-One is on his way to your position with their newest prototype,” Abaddon informed, sprouting from the deck to speak and disappearing immediately after.

“Thanks, Abby.”

“Why did he leave so quickly?” Luna asked, confused by the leviathan’s actions.

“He knows I’m onto him, acting all dumb when he’s actually really smart,” I answered.

“Why would he do that?” Luna pressed.

“So it can seem even better when he does something awesome. Too bad I’ve seen that trick before,” I replied, speaking up so Abaddon would know who I was talking to. The Sierra in question emerged from the doorway shortly after.

“Sir, I believe you will want to see this,” the Sierra I had mistreated earlier called as he ran towards me with a disgusting looking tube in his hands. As he neared I was able to view the object in greater detail without having to alter my eyes, recognizing the weapon my science team had apparently reinvented.

“Seriously?” I asked blankly when the enforcer reached me, allowing me to take the weapon in my free hand and inspect the sharp spines near the barrel. The weapon followed our typical color scheme of black with red accents but lacked the sleek design the rest of my creations possessed, instead having a patch of stringy spines where the user’s other hand would be placed and random spikes sticking off of it.

“Yes sir, we were actually already working on this project and were nearing completion of the first prototype when you made it a priority. We have you to thank for the propulsion system, ma’am. While Lord Jekyll may not like the term ‘Breeders,’ it was the inspiration for the system,” the Sierra explained proudly. Luna looked at the weapon like she suspected it of conspiring to eat her liver that night.

“Sierra-One-One, what are we?”

“You are Lord Jekyll and we are your enforcers.”

“More general, what is our species?”

“Blacklight, sir,” the enforcer replied dutifully.

“Not Tyranid?” I asked, lifting the weapon.

“I don’t know what a Tyranid is, but I’m certain we bear no resemblance,” the Sierra replied, confused.

“Then why did you bring me a ‘Nid weapon, this is an Impaler Cannon,” I challenged, internally remembering the days I spent going through the Tyranid codex for some strategy to beat Jerry’s Space Wolves.

“You don’t like it?”

“I’m just messing with you, I love it!” I declared, linking with the weapon and firing several shots into the nearby mountain, “Quieter than I would have thought, and smaller than it’s supposed to be. Start working on some larger variations too, I think it’d be funny to fire more, how to put this, dangerous ammunition at the enemy.”

“How much larger, sir?” the Sierra asked, not catching the hint.

“You got this from a fragment of my memories, they same way you all know how to talk. That means this fires living projectiles, correct?”

“Yes sir, and we’ve developed a few different types.”

“Cool, but I’m thinking on a much higher scale of fuckery,” I said with an evil grin towards the enforcer, the enforcer nodded after a moment and returned the look as he figured out what I was implying.

“Right away, sir. Should they be mounted on Abaddon?”

“Put them under his head, it’ll match the fictional creature that helped inspire him. Plus I have some plans for his abdomen, let the Bravos know I’ll be stopping by at some point,” I replied, considering the conversation over and returning my attention to Luna as I held my new prize.

“What is that horrid thing?” Luna asked, disgusted. I smiled as I hefted the twelve pound weapon easily.

“A freshly leveled playing field,” I answered, propping the weapon against my chair and releasing my grip.

“And you need bigger ones because?”

“You can never have enough dakka.”

“What the fuck, Jay? Are you ever going to give me a straight answer?”

“All your base are belong to us,” I declared, receiving a swipe to the back of my head for my trouble, “Fine, it comes from my heritage as an American. We believed in peace through superior firepower for very a long time, they still might.”

“I still don’t like that ugly weapon, couldn’t you carry a respectable weapon?” Luna pressed.

“I’ll still have my sword, and I’ll have them make me a smaller version. Something more sleek and presentable,” I relented.

“If you insist on carrying one of these things, I guess that will suffice,” Luna agreed, shifting to face the same direction I was.

“Hey Luna, do you think you could check on the seals holding the Crystal Kingdom in stasis?” I requested somberly.

“Not here, but from the North Tower I should be able to sense them. Tia said it’s where the palace mages are based, they’ll have range boosting runes I can use,” Luna replied, looking in the direction of where my old home was supposed to be.

“That’s why I didn’t kill her, you know. She said they’d come back, that they weren’t dead, that she was alive.”

“She?”

“Long story, I’ll tell you another time.”

“Fine. You aren’t pressuring me, so I won’t push this. Just-when you’re ready, okay?” Luna allowed, leaning against me in an attempt to be comforting. It worked.

“My adopted daughter, Celestia promised me that she was still alive. Well, indirectly,” I admitted, causing Luna to nearly fall out of the chair in shock.

“Wow, no wonder you hate her so much,” Luna said distantly.

“I still don’t know if she was lying or not, I don’t have the ability to feel the seals myself,” I continued.

“Let’s go, right now. I can’t stand the thought of you suffering like this any longer,” Luna suggested, dropping out of the chair and spreading her wings.

“Fair warning. If Celestia lied about this, I’ll tear that fucking castle apart to find her,” I cautioned as I stood and formed my own wings, grabbing my new weapon and absorbing it as I did so.

We flew off without another word, reaching the tower and entering in silence. There wasn’t anything to say, we each knew what we had to do and the possible consequences of actions taken long ago. We were briefly accosted by a small group of mages, that found themselves either teleported behind us or flung into nearby rooms by my tendrils, as we walked to the main casting room. Once we entered, I blocked the magic of the unicorn using the runes and Luna used her magic to move her out of the way. Luna walked into the center of the runes and began preparing her magic, her eyes darkening as she concentrated. After a few seconds, she closed her eyes and readied herself to release her spell.

The glow on Luna’s horn flared before disappearing, “Tia spoke truly, though she has not aided you as well as she could have.”

“How?” I asked, sitting down in relief.

“The seals were quite weak. A little push, and they have been weakened further. You need only wait a few more months to see your friends and family again. Tia would have had you wait another decade,” Luna explained.

“I don’t know how to thank you,” I said apologetically.

“No thanks is necessary, this should never have been necessary. I intend to have words with my dear sister,” Luna replied.

“She should be stuffing her face right now,” I recalled.

“Then I shall head to the cafeteria. You may join me if you wish, though I would caution you against attacking her openly. There will be a great number of guards and workers that might get hurt,” Luna warned, her quiet rage clearly visible on her face. I rested a claw on her neck, careful not to cut her.

“They know better than to hang around,” I responded, my anger growing to match Luna’s. We walked to the nearest window and I attempted to open it. Finding that it didn’t open, I kicked the frame out of the wall and jumped out of the hole. Luna followed and joined my search for the white alicorn.

“Got her, she’s in her room,” I announced, Luna teleported away mid flight and rematerialized in Celestia’s room. I maneuvered to land on the wall above the largest window so I could listen in.

“What have you done?” Luna accused.

“Are you the food police now too, Luna? I can have a slice of cake if I wish.” Shattering ceramic could be heard.

“I don’t care about your diet! Why did you attack the Crystal Kingdom?” Luna demanded, her voice growing louder. I heard the door open, “Get the fuck out!”

“Luna! Such language, and where is your crown?” I heard Celestia ask arrogantly.

“Don’t change the subject, I left that pointless trinket behind weeks ago. Tell me why you launched an attack on the Crystal Kingdom,” Luna pressed.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you.” I heard the sound of a hoof striking a face. “Ow! You-you can’t do that! Guards, arrest her! She’s clearly falling to the darkness again, I’ll need to summon the Elements quickly to prevent another appearance of Nightmare Moon.”

I chose that moment to strike. Shattering the window, I dove at the guards attempting to restrain Luna, “Boo.”

The guards balked and retreated a few steps, hesitant to face off against me. I added another pair of arms and stalked towards Celestia as she tripped and attempted to scramble away, sending fireballs in my direction as she crawled. I tanked the ones that managed to hit and allowed the dead flesh to slide off as new material filled the space.

“Jay, hold,” Luna called as I raised a claw to remove Celestia’s horn, I lowered my arm in response but remained within striking distance.

“Pet,” Celestia mocked, confident that I wouldn’t harm her. In response I placed my foot on her leg and dug my clawed toes into her flank. Celestia screamed in surprise and pain.

“That’s for hurting Abaddon earlier,” I explained. I forced my heel downward, snapping her leg, “That one’s for me. I am no one’s pet, learn it well.”

“Jay! That’s enough! Tia, I suggest you answer my questions before he decides to keep going,” Luna cried, rushing over and attempting to dislodge me from Celestia’s broken leg.

“Alright, just get this thing off of me,” Celestia begged, all traces of her previous confidence gone.

“No,” I replied simply, increasing the pressure slightly to make my point.

“I had them attacked because Sombra was preparing to invade!” Celestia screamed, I stopped pressing on her broken leg but kept my foot in place.

“A preemptive strike?” Luna asked, confused.

“No he wasn’t, where did you get that information from?” I argued.

“It was an anonymous tip,” Celestia snarked. The pressure returned with almost twice as much force, bones beginning to press against the inside of her skin, “It was! I swear, I don’t know who sent the message!”

“You attacked my home over hearsay? You let me believe my friends were dead over that!” I raged.

“Sister, that seems like a poor excuse,” Luna pointed out with a false calmness.

“He had monsters! My spies said so!”

“He offered a refuge for those rejected by society, like me,” I growled.

“Yes, like you. Monstrous beings that torture others for their amusement,” Celestia accused. I removed my foot from her leg and settled for glaring at her.

“Outcasts and rejects. He made a home for the second sons and those unfortunate souls with birth defects,” I countered.

“It was a risk I couldn’t take,” Celestia reasoned.

“No, it was a coward’s decision,” Luna declared.

“Says the accident.” Celestia screamed again as I kicked lightly at her crushed leg.

“You won’t talk to her like that again,” I warned.

“Guards, are you listening?” Luna asked without looking.

“Yes, your highness,” one of the guards replied.

“You are all to go to a different newspaper company and tell them what was said here tonight. If they want to confirm your story, send them to me during my night court hours or on the hulking creature next to the city during the day,” she ordered, never breaking eye contact with Celestia.

“Might as well usurp me completely and take my student as well,” Celestia grumbled, managing to stand on her three undamaged legs.

“A fine idea. Jay, would you be opposed to a prolonged stay in Ponyville?” Luna proposed with a smile.

“Getting to hang out in my old stomping grounds? Count me in,” I agreed.

“If you need me, I’ll be getting this bandaged,” Celestia said as she attempted to hobble away.

“I’m not quite finished with you, sister,” Luna replied, moving to block Celestia’s path. Luna was frozen in a golden aura and tossed through the broken window before she could complete the action, however.

“Oh, Chelly. Now what could possibly possess you to get rid of the only person stopping me from taking your head off right now?” I said threateningly, taking the position Luna failed to accomplish.

“You won’t kill me,” Celestia responded confidently.

“He would. You took away his daughter,” Luna called as she teleported back into the room. Celestia froze.

“I-really? This whole time, it’s been about some brat?” Celestia asked, beginning to laugh.

“Tia, I’m not joking. I really think Jay will tear you apart if you don’t stop,” Luna warned, watching my form enter its bestial variant and my second set of claws reform into blades.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that I always thought you were Sombra’s concubine or something,” Celestia commented.

“What?” I asked, my body returning to normal as my rage was replaced with confusion.

“Why else would you react so strongly to his death, if you weren’t lovers?” Celestia pressed.

“Did you do any research before you wiped it off the map? I was a Legate in the Order of Iron, my fucking job was to protect that city,” I informed her.

“They must have been desperate, letting you into their ranks,” Celestia replied mockingly.

“Tia, I’m beginning to wonder if this is a suicide attempt,” Luna commented.

“Whatever it is, count me out,” I replied, turning towards the broken window.

“Agreed. Sister, if you want to die so badly, there are plenty of sharp objects on the floor,” Luna added condescendingly as she followed me out.

“Do you think I went too far back there?” I asked once I was sure there weren’t any ponies around to hear.

“Oh, no. We alicorns heal quite quickly, she’ll be fine by Thursday.”

“Luna, today’s Tuesday,” I pointed out.

“I know, there was a calendar in the mage’s tower.”

“Impressive, maybe I should have gone for the full compound fracture,” I commented.

“That’d be too far, she still feels pain,” Luna countered as we landed on the balcony closest to the courtroom.

“Yeah, good point,” I agreed.

“She did raise a good question though. Were you and Sombra lovers?” Luna asked jokingly, dodging a lazy swipe from my left claw.

“No, and I shouldn’t even have to answer that,” I replied.

“Homophobic much?”

“I can’t be homophobic if I don’t have a gender,” I pointed out defensively, pushing open the door to the courtroom.

“Really? How many stallions have you been with then?”

“The same amount you have, zero.”

“And how many mares have you slept with?”

“Again, zero.”

“Wrong, you’ve been invited into my bed several times. You haven’t refused my charms yet.”

“Har har. How long till you notice the benches?” I asked, turning the joke around.

“What about them?” Luna countered.

“They’re occupied,” I said with a grin. Luna’s head shot around to look at the stunned ponies.

“Uh, you didn’t hear anything,” Luna stumbled.

“I did,” a young colt near the front called.

“I suppose all of you want to know what that was about?” Luna asked sheepishly as she took her place on the throne. I followed her there and stood defensively to her right. There was a collective nod and Luna sighed before giving me a pleading glance.

“Princess Luna is still recovering from her imprisonment within Nightmare Moon, this has manifested itself as chronic nightmares. I have offered her my services as her friend and bodyguard to help her sleep soundly, a right many of you take for granted. What you heard was the banter of good friends twisting an innocent situation for the sake of entertainment,” I explained in my best lawyer impression.

“Like we’d believe that!” a voice shouted from the back of the room.

“You are entitled to your opinion, but my friend here has spoken truly,” Luna replied easily, her face becoming a mask of confidence and serenity.

“Would the first petitioner please step forward,” I called to the room, ending any possibility of further heckling. Fancy Pants was first pony to walk towards the throne.

“Hello again my friends, I don’t actually have a request for the crown but I’d like to invite the two of you to attend as my guests at the party tomorrow night.” Fancy said.

“The gardens creep me out, I’ll only go if I get to bring a fuckton of my guards,” I replied.

“I for one would be delighted to attend, I haven’t been invited to a real party in living memory,” Luna answered with a glare in my direction.

“Splendid, I’ll make sure there are places for the two of you at the main table. Though if you’d indulge me Mister Jekyll, why do you even have guards?” Fancy responded gleefully.

“It makes sense. Why should I fight alone when I can have a literal army watching my back? In practice however, they act as a deterrent for anything dumb enough to try to attack me,” I explained with a shrug.

“I have a theory that they were created so he would have someone to talk to,” Luna added.

“I suppose if you feel the added protection is necessary, I won’t complain about it. I’ll see you there. Farewell, my friends,” Fancy said as he withdrew to allow the next pony to step forward. The night passed slowly as each pony made their case and received an answer until a single hooded figure remained in the back row.

“You there, do you have a request to make of the court?” I said to the figure.

“This one has but a simple question for the dark alicorn,” the figure replied, standing and walking towards the two of us.

“State your business here, Caribou,” I ordered, causing Luna to glance in my direction.

“Can I help you, ambassador?” Luna asked the caribou.

“That’s not an ambassador,” I warned, stepping forward. The caribou smiled and shrugged the cloak off of its powerful frame, revealing that it was clad in a black bodysuit covered in steel rods that resembled bones. The armor of the warrior caste.

“You are an observant one, this one is pleased that the legends were not false,” our visitor noted, pacing sideways to gauge me as an opponent.

“The sharpened antlers are a dead giveaway, but has The Enclave forgotten my warning? I will not tolerate any more assassins,” I threatened, matching the caribou’s movements.

“This one is not an assassin, he is here to challenge our enemy in honorable combat.” ‘Male then, wish the caribou were just a little more dimorphic.’

I stopped circling the caribou and returned to Luna’s side, as was the custom regarding caribou challenges, “State the terms.”

“This one is here to take the head of the dark alicorn or die in the attempt. By the rights of combat, there is to be no magics or other witchcraft,” the warrior declared, entering a fighting stance.

“I accept. Jay, bind my horn and wings, I’ll fight honorably,” Luna said, stepping forward before I could demand to be her champion. I grudgingly followed her request and stepped back.

“You surprise this one as well, dark one, he thought you would hide behind your legendary ally. The faith of most would falter when gazing upon the Darakkenik,” the caribou commended, leaving his pose to bow. Luna bowed as well, taking a ready stance as she rose.

“If I may, have the caribou still refused the use of names?” Luna asked, beginning to circle her adversary.

“Labels make it easier for the Trablek to hunt, the faithful will take all actions against our enemy,” the caribou preached.

“The fuck is a Trablek?” Luna asked, using my vernacular for emphasis.

“You, dumbass. Trablek means ‘Sleeping Evil’ and is a reference to Nightmare Moon,” I answered for the caribou. Luna took the information as a personal attack and was furious.

“You will find no quarter here fiend!” Luna shouted as she charged. The caribou looked confused as he barely dodged her initial strike and failed to see her follow up in time.

The warrior slammed into one of the benches and staggered drunkenly to his hooves, “The dark one is fast, this one must be faster.”

“Good luck, she can hold her own against me,” I exaggerated, causing the caribou to pause.

“Irrelevant, this one will be victorious.” Luna’s next strike hit one of the steel bones and bent at an odd angle, leaving her limping and open for the caribou’s first attack of the fight. The warrior viciously kicked at Luna’s exposed face, as she only had one hoof to protect herself with as she attempted to gain some distance.

“Training,” I advised simply, reminding Luna of a similar position she had faced during our training sessions on the beach. She shot her legs out from under her and slid under her attacker to kick him with both of her rear hooves and launch him off of her.

“Take that you scoundrel!” Luna gloated, looking at me for approval.

“Eunic,” I warned.

“Oh, ponyfeathers,” Luna complained as she turned to face her opponent and received a bladed antler across her face for her inattention. Luna went berserk, tackling the caribou and beating him into the floor before screaming and repeatedly stabbing her horn into his neck.

“This one’s mission is complete,” the warrior said weakly as blood poured from the wounds. I calmly walked over and stared at the dying caribou, who nodded in my direction. My arm shifted into a blade and severed the nameless warrior’s head, my tendrils extending to clean up the mess.

“Ow,” Luna whimpered from her position on the floor nearby. I looked her over once I had finished with the caribou and found a deep slash across her left eye, it would leave a nasty scar at best and cost her an eye at worst. I wouldn’t know until I could clean the wound and inspect the damage.

“Hold still, I need to know how bad this is,” I ordered, extending several small tendrils to stop the bleeding and clean the wound. The antler had indeed slashed through her eye, rendering it inoperable.

“Jay, I can’t see you,” Luna said fearfully. I ignored her for the moment and began trying to fabricate her a new eye, consuming the remains of the original to speed up the process.

“Fuck. I’m going to have to put Sierra division on this,” I commented, hiding the damage from view with some biomatter. Unlike Willow Bark, I didn’t know enough about Luna’s genetic structure to repair the damage.

“Why do they need to help? How bad is it?” Luna asked, terrified.

“Your eye is gone, I can’t fix it by myself. Fortunately your optic nerve is fine, so replacing it is still an option,” I informed her.

“Hehe, you’re hilarious. No really, why can’t I see?” I formed a flat reflective surface on my left hand and removed the biomatter hiding her eye socket. Luna found the mirror and held it up to her face, freezing before slowly turning until she could see me watching her somberly.

“Let’s get you back to Abaddon, the Sierras will help me fix this.”

“Bu-but I-I ha-have to m-meet with th-the re-repo-reporters,” Luna stuttered, her remaining eye threatening to spill its tears as she attempted to reject reality.

“Come on, let’s go. I’m sure they’ll understand,” I said as I lifted the injured princess and carried her to the nearest window. Luna spotted her reflection as I passed and burst into pained sobs, I hurried her away from any more reflective surfaces and took flight to towards Abaddon’s perch on the side of the mountain. A squad of Gammas linked up with me in flight, looking shameful that they hadn’t prevented this situation.

“Sir, we’ve failed you. This is our fault for not finding the intruder in time, we’ll accept whatever fate you deem appropriate,” the leader declared.

“How about you shut the fuck up and get back to your posts? This was no one’s fault, just bad luck,” I ordered, startling the enforcers and sending them flying back the way they came.

Celestia was waiting when I landed on Abaddon, “I expected my dear sister to be with you, but not like that.”

“Shut your face before I do it for you,” I growled, Celestia couldn’t see Luna’s missing eye from where she was standing.

“Is that you, Tia?” Luna asked, straining to face her sister.

“Mother’s light, what happened to your face?” Celestia cried insensitively.

“A caribou warrior was waiting for us in the courtroom, another result of your stupid crusades,” I explained.

“Jay, that isn’t fair. I messed up as well,” Luna chided weakly. I ignored her and silently had Abaddon bring Luna’s cocoon to the deck and transport both of them to the Sierra’s workshop with my instructions to fix her eye.

“Chelly, if the next words out of your mouth are condescending or hateful, I’ll rip your evil tongue right out,” I threatened before Celestia could speak.

“I was going to ask if the two of you were in a relationship, the reporters seem to think so,” Celestia replied.

“Your sister loses her fucking eye in a fight you started and your immediate response is to ask about her love life? You are officially the worst sibling to ever live, go away,” I said in lieu of an answer, attempting to walk away before being seized in a golden aura and turned to face my oldest enemy.

“Answer the question,” she demanded, I smiled as I looked past her.

“That leg must have somehow damaged your brain, you’ve forgotten where we are.” A massive tendril slammed down on her, pressing her legs and useless wings into Abaddon’s flesh and leaving a heavy mound of biomatter on her horn. Celestia was thoroughly incapacitated, unable to even lift her head without causing herself intense pain.

“Release me,” she ordered, “The sun must be raised in the morning or the land will die.”

“Abaddon, get this filth out of my sight. I have more important things to do,” I ordered, turning away from the pitiful excuse for an alicorn and walking into Abaddon’s internal structure. Tzu joined me as I walked towards the Sierras’ workshop, apologizing for not meeting me sooner. I waved his statement away, my mind was set on finding a way to help Luna.

“Abaddon told me what happened. What are our orders, sir?” Tzu asked, returning to his normal attitude.

“Follow me and be ready to relay my commands,” I replied before falling silent, remaining that way until we reached the workshop. Inside I found that the walls had been covered in shelves, each one holding at least three dead bioforms. Luna sat on one of the many tables in the center of the room, a tendril connecting the side of her head to one of the Sierras.

“Jay, I’m sorry. I got cocky and let my attention leave my opponent,” Luna said when she saw us enter. I shook my head.

“If I were anyone else, that would make sense. But you’ll be fine and we’ll treat this as a learning experience,” I responded as I approached to inspect the procedure.

“Maybe I just shouldn’t get into fights,” Luna suggested.

“A wise idea. Caribou honor codes allow for the use of champions. Speaking of which, we need to figure out who to send back,” I agreed, having an idea of which enforcer to turn loose.

“A challenger of our own? I suppose the captain of the royal guard would be the logical choice.”

“Nah, I’ve got something special for this kind of thing. Tzu, bring me Gamma-One-Two,” I ordered, causing the enforcer to flinch.

“The mad dog? You’re sure?” Tzu confirmed. I waved him away and he rushed out of the room.

“You have an enforcer called ‘mad dog?’” Luna asked, confused.

“You’ll see, this is the only one of my creations that scare me.” Luna froze, much to the relief of the Sierra operating on her.

“Please don’t move ma’am, this is difficult enough as it is,” the enforcer requested.

“I’m sorry, it’s just so itchy,” Luna complained, pawing at the tendril attached to her face.

“It still alarms me how quickly you accepted our methods,” I commented.

“Why, because nopony else has? I’m not just anypony,” Luna countered, her bravado once again rearing its head.

“Chelly’s on to us.” And...it’s gone.

“Oh shit. Wait, you’re just saying that to distract me,” Luna accused.

“Partially, but it’s also true,” I responded. Luna’s surprised shout heralded the Tzu’s return, along with a blood red enforcer that twitched constantly.

“Do you have any further use for me, sir?” Tzu asked, looking at his companion nervously.

“Have forty Gamma squads waiting in the castle gardens by tomorrow night, that about covers it,” I replied.

“Jay?”

“Yep, I’d say two hundred and forty counts as a fuckton.”

“How many are there?” Luna asked, bewildered that I would task that many with watching over a single party.

“Twenty thousand,” I answered simply, Luna threatened to collapse at the number.

“Twen-oh my, no wonder you can assign them wherever you want.”

“Squads,” I finished, The Gamma laughed cruelly at Luna’s shock.

“You found a funny one boss, I like her,” the enforcer giggled.

“Luna, meet Gamma-One-Two, the second highest ranking Gamma in my army. He’s also defective and bat-shit crazy,” I said, introducing our guest.

“I’m Fang! My name is Fang!” the Gamma screamed, brandishing his overly long teeth.

“And that’s why we call him the mad dog,” I added, throwing a dangerous glance at the foaming enforcer.

“Is he dangerous?” Luna asked, her attention now fixed on the Gamma.

“Undoubtedly, that’s why I want to send him to challenge the Caribou High Chaplain,” I replied.

“Ooooooh, I get to play?”

“What happened to honor?” Luna challenged.

“Fang, you are to follow all caribou codes of honor during your time in The Enclave. If you are unable to kill the chaplain without breaking these codes, you are to admit defeat and withdraw,” I ordered, the enforcer grumbled but nodded his understanding.

“And after?” my insane subordinate pressed, smiling widely.

“Return here for further instructions, bring the chaplain’s head if you win,” I answered.

“I suppose that will have to do, it will keep casualties to a minimum at least,” Luna reasoned as the enforcer tried to force his way through the nearest wall.

“No. Keeping casualties low would be sending Shiny, that way only he would die. I’m anticipating a death toll in the thousands,” I explained.

“But why?” Luna asked, horrified.

“Fang’s going to challenge every caribou that he thinks knows which end of a spear is sharp, it’s kinda his thing. If you meant my reasoning, they maimed my beautiful wife. I wouldn’t be a good husband if I let that go unanswered,” I replied, sitting on the table next to Luna and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Luna leaned against me for a moment before slumping.

“Sir, we’re ready to make our first attempt. The patient may lose some of her facilities for a moment,” the sierra’s captain cautioned.

“More specific,” I ordered as Luna began to drool.

“Ten minutes or so, depending on the patient’s metabolism.”

“I wuv you toooo,” Luna slurred, her eye glazing over as the anesthetic took full effect.

“Just hold on, Lu. It’ll all be better in a minute,” I said soothingly.

“Shhhhh, I’m tryna think. Right, got it. Yer tha best stallion ever, we should get married,” Luna continued drunkenly.

“We did, on the same day we met,” I pointed out.

“Nooooo, fer real. With family and cake and wine and friends and Tia’s stupid face and wine and stuff.”

“You want a wedding?” I asked, confused by how odd Luna was acting. I’d seen Luna high a couple times now, and she never got like this.

“Nope, I wanna real marriage. Way better than that fake one I got before. With a real groom and a real bride and a real ceremony with real bridesmaids and a real best man and real wine,” Luna rambled.

“When the war is over we might just be able to do that,” I conceded, agreeing to prevent any undue stress.

“War shmoar, stupid Tia and the stupid gryphons and-and I don’t remember the others-making our lives hard. Mmmmm, hard,” Luna grumbled before her voice turned sultry and she began pawing at my blank crotch.

“Luna, no. You need to hold still while the nice doctor makes you a new eye,” I said, gently pushing away her hooves. Luna started to cry.

“Is it ‘cause I’m ugly now? An ugly mare nopony would want ‘cause she’s only got one eye?” Luna sobbed.

“Biomatter rejected by patient’s body, moving to second method,” one of the Sierras noted.

“I’ll never get my eye back! I’m gonna be a cyclops forever!” Luna cried, burying her head in her hooves as she wept.

“Luna I promise we’ll find a way,” I responded as gently as I could, rubbing her back as I spoke.

“B-but you don’t want me anymore because I’m hideous.” Luna proposed, her inebriated mind jumping to stranger conclusions every second.

“Luna, I’m not leaving you over a temporary injury.”

“Really?” Luna asked, her tear stained face filling with hope as she looked at me.

“Really,” I confirmed, pulling Luna into a hug.

“Then you’ll still look under the bed for monsters?” Luna asked.

“Of course, just not right now, you’re too busy having surgery right now,” I replied, thankful that her fears had been so easy to sooth.

“Oh, I’m having surgery? On what?”

“Your eye. It’s being fixed right now,” I replied, noticing a Sierra attempting to get my attention. I released Luna and walked over to the enforcer.

“Sir, her body won’t accept the new tissue. We’ve begun work on a bioform to fill the role and need some parameters for the bioform to fit,” the Sierra said quietly.

“Okay, uh, keep its feeding requirements as close to a natural eye as possible. Same for most other aspects, just as long as they don’t fall below the standard pony baseline,” I responded, attempting to predict the final product’s capabilities.

“Understood, minimum of standard baseline, as close to same as possible,” the enforcer repeated before running back to its team and getting back to work.

“What’s going on?” Luna complained from the table as the enforcer left my presence.

“Nothing too bad, Lu. Your new eye might just be a little better than it used to be,” I explained, returning to my spot against her side.

“Hehe, I like the little names you give me,” Luna stated, her drugged mind unable to process anything else.

“I only call you Luna and Lu,” I pointed out.

“You don’t understand, you’re the only one who calls me that. I need to give you a coltfriend name,” Luna declared, proceeding to mumble different nicknames for several minutes, “I got it, you’re gonna be Snuggles from now on.”

“Or until the chemicals stopping you from feeling the Sierras poke around in your head knock you out and you forget all of this,” I commented.

“Snuggles, your mare wants to cuddle,” Luna said, either ignoring my statement or being unable to comprehend it. I sent my tendrils over the table to create a warm layer and laid Luna down, following shortly after and wrapping an arm around her waist as I warmed her back with my chest.

“Try to get some sleep, my North Star. This’ll all be better when you wake up.” Luna squeed at the nickname and fidgeted until she had flipped over and gotten her hooves around me, only then did she calm down enough for the anesthetic to help her fall asleep.

“Sir if I may, that was very noble of you,” Sierra-One-One said quietly, not wanting to disturb his sleeping patient.

“You’re Oppenheimer now, figure out names for the rest of your staff,” I replied. The enforcer beamed at the praise and returned to work, causing all of the other Sierras to murmur quietly as they tried to decide what to call themselves. Over an hour passed as I held Luna and waited for the Sierras to fine tune their invention.

“Sir, it’s done.”

“Has it been implanted?”

“Yes sir, we’re ready to disconnect from the patient,” the still nameless Sierra replied, I saw the problem. In her attempts to flip herself over, Luna had managed to tangle both of us in the tendril connected to her head. I touched the tendril and detached it from her face with a thought and severed it at several points to be easily collected with another, freeing the two of us and allowing the Sierras to retrieve their biomatter.

I gently opened Luna’s eyelid to inspect the new bioform, finding the color of the iris was a darker shade of blue than her other one. As I extended a tendril to correct this variation, Luna awoke.

“Jay, why are you poking me in the eye?” Luna asked without opening her other eye.

“Three,” I replied, Luna opened her other eye and stared at me in confusion. I finished my work and withdrew the tendril before she could move and damage the bioform.

“Three what?”

“Two.”

“What are you doing?”

“One.”

“Ohmygoshmyeye! Jay, my eye is back!” Luna cried, sitting up and looking around the room. Her smile faded as she closed her original eye and looked down at herself, “Jay, something’s wrong.”

“Ah hell, I guess there were bound to be some hiccups. What’s wrong, did you lose connection?” I asked, waving for a Sierra.

“No, I can see smells and everything is sharper. When I compare it to my other eye, I feel a slight pain in the back of my head,” Luna clarified.

“Sierra, the difference is too pronounced. What can you do to rectify this?” I asked the enforcer, who stopped to consider Luna’s eyes for a moment before replying.

“We could replace the undamaged eye, I’m afraid there’s not much else we are capable of doing with the patient’s inflexible biology,” the Sierra admitted.

“Lu, what do you want to do?” I asked, turning towards the mare in question.

“I don’t have enough information to decide, tell me everything relating to this procedure,” Luna ordered wisely. At my nod, the Sierra began listing off the benefits and drawbacks of accepting or refusing the replacement surgery. Once he finished, Luna was silent for a long moment before nodding slowly, “Do it, the chronic migraines alone make refusing such a procedure quite unappealing.”

“Please allow me to retrieve the rest of my team, we’ll have the new optical organ in place before you know it. I’m Doctis, by the way,” the enforcer requested, though I suspected his introduction was for me. ‘That’s why I name them, so they don’t come up with stupid ass names.’

“Do you think I made the right decision?” Luna asked gravely, “I’ll never be on the same level as any other pony again.”

“You’ve grown up, where was this caution when you decided to marry an immortal virus monster?” I said in lieu of an answer.

“This is different, can I still even be considered a pony?”

“That I can answer. Only as much as you were before, but less and more as well,” I replied.

“Explain,” Luna requested.

“You now have the ability to detect the emotions and, in some cases, intentions of everyone you meet, but at the cost of a piece of yourself. You have lived with powers not unlike this for your entire life, being born an alicorn, but this places you above even that level, albeit by only the slightest margin. There is less of the original Luna, but what is left is made stronger. But I’m full of shit. Just do what I do and ignore it like a sane person,” I replied with a smile.

“Really? It’s that simple?”

“Yep, tune it out like a noisy room.”

“Oh, well there goes my existential crisis.” Luna’s hoof smacked the back of my head. “That’s for stringing me along for so long.”

“It was funny though,” I pointed out, Luna smiled.

“It kind of was,” she admitted as Doctis returned with three other Sierras.

“Are you ready to begin, ma’am?” Doctis asked.

“I am, how long were you waiting?” Luna countered, having noticed the faint smell of the enforcers coming from the doorway.

“Lu, it isn’t polite to use your powers to spy on others,” I chided lightly.

“It isn’t polite to eavesdrop either,” Luna countered.

“I assure you ma’am, we waited only because you seemed to be reconsidering your decision and we did not want to influence you in any way,” Doctis apologized.

“I should have expected as much, you enforcers always show such professionalism,” Luna commented.

“If you’ll lie down, we can begin. Lord Jekyll, if you could assist in keeping the patient calm and still please.” Luna and I returned to the position we had been in when she had woken up as a tendril attached itself the right half of her head.

“Jay, will this hurt?“

“The area has been numbed, but you may feel a sting followed by a slight tugging sensation,” Doctis answered, Luna pulled herself closer into my chest at his words. Luna clenched her grip on me as a round shape was pulled through the tendril, relaxing a few seconds later as I held her comfortingly. Less than a minute later the tendril retracted, leaving a slightly off color eye behind.

“My turn,” I said as I sent a tendril of my own into the eye and fixed the discrepancy.

“And the scarring? Can you do anything about that as well?” Luna requested.

“We fixed that during our first attempt to replace your missing eye,” Doctis replied happily, proud of his team’s foresight.

“Then I’m healed?”

“Absolutely not, you are to get plenty of rest and stay out of any fights for at least a week. Your optic nerves are still bonding to the bioforms and need to be treated with care. If you insist on continuing your daily activities, attempt to remain still as much as possible and close your eyelids whenever you can,” Doctis advised, the others nodding their concurrence.

“You make me sound like a working mare, I’ll take it easy,” Luna agreed.

“I’m sure you will,” Doctis teased, surprising me and causing Luna to lock up.

“I-what-are you sure you aren’t rogue?” Luna accused angrily.

“I am, the Sierras were screened before their division was formed. They have been under constant guard ever since,” I said, breaking Luna’s glare at Doctis.

“But you said odd mannerisms could be a sign,” she pressed.

“This isn’t the first enforcer to be sarcastic, Mikes and Gammas are just at a higher risk,” I explained.

“Let’s just go to bed,” Luna suggested wearily, clearly wanting to get away from the enforcer that had offended her.

“Doctis, you’re on gun detail now. I want some weapons that I can see my troops using effectively and while this one is cool, I just don’t see that potential in it. While you’re at it, I want a smaller version that looks better to carry during formal events,” I ordered, forming the one I had been given earlier.

“Yes sir,” the enforcer replied, hurrying to the other side of the room where others were discussing our next iteration of ranged weaponry. Luna followed me back to our room and onto the bed before closing her eyes and gently lowering herself onto her side.

“You going to live up to your name, Snuggles?” Luna asked, I could only laugh.

“I was hoping you had forgotten about that,” I replied as I settled into her waiting hooves.

“Did I really-”

“Yes, yes you did. You were pretty distraught and thought I was going to abandon you, as if I could be so vain. Have you even looked at me?” I replied, cutting her off.

“I for one find you to be the most handsome virus I have ever met,” Luna joked.

“Pretty short list for someone who could have any stallion she wanted,” I shot back with a chuckle.

“As if, they’re all still scared of me,” Luna argued, her tone turning somber.

“Then we’ll have to fix that, maybe hit up a club or two,” I suggested.

“What sort of club?” Luna asked, confused.

“Right, they only popped up in the last couple decades. Dance clubs,” I clarified.

“Jay, I don’t know how to dance.”

“Me neither, never bothered to learn.”

“Shit, what do we do?” Luna pressed.

“Go anyway,” I replied, causing Luna to look at me like I’d lost my mind.

“How will that help? It just sounds embarrassing.”

“Just be yourself, everyone loves an underdog. Not being able to dance will make you endearing,” I suggested.

“And your ulterior motive?” Luna pressed, I sighed.

“Most patrons of these clubs are looking for some action, this’ll help you learn how to see past the pheromones,” I admitted.

“Would it still be fun?”

“Probably,” I guessed.

“Then I’m okay with it, in a few minutes,” Luna replied drowsily, the anesthetic still working its way through her bloodstream and making itself known now that she didn’t have a rush of adrenaline keeping her going.

“Get some sleep while you can, it’s going to be a busy night when you wake up,” I offered.

“Not till you tell me what a ‘North Star’ is,” Luna argued as she fought the urge to sleep.

“It’s another thing from my world. The North Star is a bright star that is due north of anywhere in the northern hemisphere, sailors used to use it to navigate in the dark,” I explained.

“That’s beutiffffffffffffff-” Luna attempted before falling asleep mid word, her breath dragging out the last syllable.

“Goodnight, Luna,” I said before adjusting my form to be more comfortable.

A couple hours later a tendril extended from the wall and waited for me to acknowledge it. I ignored the tendril and sent one of my own into the wall, discovering that Celestia had returned with Luna’s pony guards. I decided to merge with the wall rather than disturb Luna’s slumber and wormed my way through Abaddon to reach the surface as a long tree-like being before reforming my normal body.

“Go away, Chelly. You aren’t welcome here,” I ordered, Green and the others took this as a sign to get as far away as possible.

“Is this not my nation? I can go where I please,” Celestia argued.

“How many times do I need to beat the tar out of you before you accept defeat and move on?” I asked.

“Only until you show the world the monster that I see,” Celestia answered smugly.

“I don’t think you believe that. You know full well that I could kill your ponies all day long if I wanted to and there’s not a damn thing you could do to stop me,” I countered, “The fact that I don’t undermines your argument.”

“You-come here,” Celestia requested, her voice dropping to a near whisper.

“Try anything and you die,” I warned as I spared her the pain of walking to me.

“You’re right, I was wrong about you. I just have so much tied into hunting you that I can’t let it go anymore. There are things coming Jekyll, true evil the likes of which neither of us has seen before. I know I cannot defeat them, but maybe you can. You did make one of them, after all,” Celestia admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Abaddon, take this bitch to a holding room. I’ll deal with her personally,” I ordered. Celestia barely had time to look surprised as the very ground she stood on wrapped around her and hauled her into an empty store room. I hitched a ride on his tendrils and arrived at the same time as Celestia, “No one can hear us in here, we can speak freely.”

“Did you have to be so rough?” Celestia complained.

“Yes. Now no one will think we’re actually getting along,” I explained.

“I suppose. As I was saying, that creature you made is in league with a powerful force,” Celestia continued.

“I already figured that out, he wouldn’t have been able to rebel otherwise. What can you tell me about this group? I assume this is an organization and not a single entity.”

“I don’t know, and please don’t tell anypony. They have my parents, they say they’ll kill them if I go against them. Fortunately, you got to Luna before they could.”

“I really don’t like what I’ve heard about your folks and how you lot treated Luna. This isn’t inspiring me to help,” I deadpanned.

“We all have a weakness, Jekyll. Mine is family, I suspect yours is Luna. She’d be crushed if you didn’t help save her parents,” Celestia pressed.

“You can’t manipulate me like one of your ponies. When I say that I don’t care, I mean it.”

“Fine, I tried. Will you at least save my ponies from this threat?” Celestia pleaded.

“Chelly, I don’t value pony lives.” Her face fell. “I value all lives. I’m not going to protect Equestria, I’m going to kill the everloving fuck out of Dopple and the rest of his little gang before they can threaten anyone.”

“You’ll help?” Celestia asked hopefully.

“No, I’ll just get it done. Torch passed. Where are they?” I responded.

“I don’t know, they’ve always contacted me by letter and had me respond by leaving notes at dead drops. I don’t even know the name of this group, though I suspect they have ties to Discord,” Celestia admitted.

“Because that’s how they supposedly died,” I concluded, thinking of how to find this organization.

“I’m sorry, but that’s all I know,” Celestia finished.

“They obviously have a base in canterlot. Contact me before your next dead drop, I have an idea on how to track them down.”

“How?” Celestia asked.

“You do realize that this little parley doesn’t make us friends, right? I still fucking hate you and would rather trust a brain-damaged diamond dog with that information,” I pointed out, shaking my head.

“If I didn’t need your help right now, I’d banish you for that,” Celestia shot back angrily.

“Ooh scary, if only I cared,” I replied, faking a yawn.

“Grr-no, I won’t allow myself to resort to yelling at you pointlessly,” Celestia said, taking a breath to calm herself.

“Again?” I asked with a grin.

“Shut up,” Celestia ordered.

“Whatever, tell the walls when you want to leave and they’ll toss you out,” I instructed as I opened the door and walked out.

“I’d actually like to see how Luna has been living these last few weeks,” Celestia requested, following me out and into the hallway.

“This way then,” I replied with a wave towards the end of the hallway. I led the way to Luna’s room, stopping at the doorway to listen and smell for anything I thought Luna would want kept secret. Finding nothing, I opened the door and walked inside.

“You should fire your decorator,” Celestia commented as she looked around the room, her voice startling Luna awake.

“Learn some manners, Chelly,” I responded as Luna looked at the two of us in confusion.

“Tia, Jay, what’s going on?” she asked drowsily.

“I just wanted to check on my little sister. Jekyll here has been surprisingly accommodating,” Celestia lied before I could answer.

“Oh, okay. What’d you wanna talk about?” Luna continued, still not quite awake.

“Before we immerse ourselves in conversation, I must ask where I would find the restroom,” Celestia requested formally.

“That’s actually a good question. My bioforms and I don’t produce waste, where have you been relieving yourself?” I responded, turning towards Luna.

“Abaddon makes me a latrine whenever I ask,” Luna replied with a shrug.

“A latrine? That’s disgusting,” Celestia gagged, “And what in Equestria is an ‘Abaddon?’ Every time Jekyll says that word, the ground attacks me!”

“Good morning ma’am, how can I help you?” Abaddon answered, sprouting a secondary head from the floor and situating himself about a foot away from Celestia’s nose.

“Gah! But floor, how?” Celestia stumbled.

“You misunderstand, ma’am. The floors may appear to be constructed out of concrete, but that is simply a way of being more appealing to other beings that Lord Jekyll may invite aboard,” Abaddon explained, “But please, forgive my rudeness. My name is Abaddon, and I am the leviathan perched next to your city.”

“We’re in a monster’s stomach? How do you live like this, Luna?” Celestia asked, horrified by the idea. Luna shrugged again.

“Doesn’t bother me,” she answered simply.

“But these things are everywhere. I wouldn’t be able to stand it,” Celestia pressed.

“Abby’s a sweetheart once you get to know him,” Luna continued, feigning obliviousness.

“Not how I’d describe him, I still remember the skull thing,” I commented.

“I forgot about that. Are they still there?” Luna asked.

“Yep.”

“I knew it! I knew all along that you were a monster, Jekyll. Now I have a confession!” Celestia cried gleefully.

“Sister, they aren’t from ponies,” Luna deadpanned.

“What? But then where did they come from?”

“You remember the assassins that went after Luna? I had them killed,” I answered.

“And their heads taken,” Luna finished with a shiver.

“I expect to have a few more skulls in a couple days, too,” I added, more for Abaddon to be excited about than anything.

“A couple days?” Luna confirmed, “Fang works quickly.”

“What kind of name is ‘Fang?’ Sounds like a dog’s name,” Celestia commented.

“I didn’t pick it, that’s for sure. And what’s with you and the pet thing? It’s always ‘dog’ this or ‘pet’ that,” I asked.

“It’s an easy insult and it always get’s under your skin,” Celestia answered.

“But why would I be the pet? Luna’s the one living in my house and apparently shitting on my floor, shouldn’t she be the pet in this analogy?” I continued. Celestia looked offended, but Luna knew my humor by now and remained stoic.

“Makes sense to me,” Luna commented, causing Celestia to turn towards the wall.

“Let me out, wall,” Celestia demanded, returning to her usual demeanor.

“Very well,” Abaddon replied, opening the floor under the alicorn and letting her fall through him and out into the open air.

“Jay, why was Tia here?” Luna asked suspiciously once the floor had resealed itself.

“She’s convinced there’s some evil organization trying to destroy the world or something, but she can’t act ‘cause they’ve got your parents hostage. So she wants me to fix it. I heard her out on the off chance that these mysterious evildoers actually exist,” I explained. Luna burst out laughing and fell off the bed.

“No, really. Why was she here?” Luna asked once she had recovered enough to do so.

“That’s what she said,” I insisted. Luna stopped laughing and stood up, instantly serious.

“I assume she asked you not to tell me?”

“You probably count as anypony, but I don’t take orders from Chelly.”

“Jay, Tia and I saw their bodies. Discord pulled their souls out and left their physical forms to die. This is obviously a trap of some kind,” Luna reasoned.

“I figured as much. Chelly coming to me for help kinda broke the illusion,” I agreed.

“Tia would surely realize that this wouldn’t work, why would she try anyway?” Luna wondered.

“I’m more concerned about the implications of this. Luna, she knew about Dopple,” I said. Luna’s eyes widened slightly.

“You think he’s manipulating Tia?”

“Impossible, she’s the puppeteer around here. I think he’s allied himself with her. I think Celestia is hiding Dopple from me,” I declared.

“Would she go that far?” Luna muttered, more to herself than me.

“Abaddon, have Tzu meet me on the deck with the Bravos and Sierras. This might get a little uncomfortable for a while,” I ordered, already walking towards the door.

“Wait for me!” Luna called, rising from her seated position to follow.

“No, just go on back to bed. You didn’t get much sleep yesterday,” I pointed out, “I’ll be back in a couple minutes to help.”

“But I have so much to think about now,” Luna protested.

“Just try, huh. For me?” I pressed.

“Okay, I’ll try,” Luna conceded, climbing onto the bed and pulling the blanket over herself, “Just don’t take too long.”

I left without another word. Tzu met up with me as I neared the exit and infirmed me that the others would be arriving shortly. Once all of the enforcers I had summoned were gathered, I began giving them their orders.

“Bravo division, you are to create a staging area in the lowest section of Abaddon’s abdomen. This area is to be large enough to house the entirety of Romeo and Gamma divisions. Understood?”

“Yes, sir. May we improve upon the design?”

“Fuck it, sure. Sierras, I need more guns and an ammunition type built to drop an enforcer. Got it?”

“Already done. We’ll have one sent to you for inspection.”

“Awesome. Tzu, big task for you. Get every Mike, Romeo, and India into the new staging area, then have Gamma division search Canterlot.”

“Sir, could you be more specific? How many squads are you asking me to relocate?”

“All of them.”

“Fucking hell!” Tzu swore.

“I have reason to believe that Dopple is being harbored in that city, I want him found. The rogue threat is keeping me from using sane numbers, so go crazy. Find that bastard and burn his stockpiles of his precious drug. Fill the skies, streets, and sewers with my soldiers if you have to, just get it done,” I ordered, staring past the stunned enforcers at the city below.

“I will, sir. Just, shit, that’s a lot,” Tzu replied distantly.

“Glad to see you’re finally developing a personality. Abaddon, your turn. You are to inspect every enforcer that you come in contact with for tampering until told otherwise. By me. If you find any, take them into custody and I will interrogate them personally.”

“Understood.”

“That should do it. Tzu, wait for the others to finish before getting to work and take a headcount while you’re at it. I want to know how many rogues we may be facing,” I added.

“Of course, sir,” Tzu replied diligently.

“Great, come find me when you have something to report,” I finished, turning to leave them to their tasks. I paused as I reached the doorway, “And Tzu, this is an intel raid. I don’t want to hear about any casualties.”

Yes, sir,” Tzu replied as I left.

I returned to the room to find Luna tossing in her sleep, quickly becoming tangled in the blankets even as the blankets themselves attempted to flatten back out. I slid into the bed next to her once she had turned towards the wall and calmed her with an arm around her waist.

Luna slept peacefully for the next couple hours before Tzu stormed in with a panicked look on his face.

“Sir, we have a problem...”

Author's Notes:

Sooo, this chapter was a nightmare. Mostly because I had half of it written before Eric could finish editing chapter 9 or 9.5. Nothing against Eric, I was just bored on vacation and wouldn't stop writing. Between that and deciding to table 9.5 for the time being, this chapter underwent a lot of rewrites. And somehow I'm still ahead of schedule, da fuk?

Moving on, the Tyranid bit was actually planned during the time I was writing either chapter 4 or 5, I don't remember which, and stemmed from my description of how badly I had messed up with my basis for Jekyll. "Shit, unnerfed Blacklight would be the natural predator of the Tyranids. A damn hive fleet would change course to avoid this bastard, how the hell am I going to write any conflict?" Or something like that.

Finally, as I actually play 40k, I decided to let the dice gods determine how the fight with the caribou would play out. Turns out that was a ton of fun to do and I'm totally doing that for all future fights.

Editor's note: This should be edited, if you find anything feel free to point them out.
Also, I'd like to bring to attention this little number I've been experiencing. If you ever get an editor, for any reason. Please credit him/her. I've had too many projects that I've edited, blow me off and ignore my existence. It really pisses me off when I spend hours on them and receive the cold shoulder.
Other than that, thanks for reading my rant! And enjoy the fic!
P.S I'll try to make sure Weapons doesn't abandon the fic