— Right onto the cold, hard ground. The back of my head bangs against what feels like crusty mud. I groan as I rub my disheveled feathers. That’s going to leave a nasty bruise. “Damn prince,” I mutter. “Prince of Jackasses more like it.” At least the choking thing stopped.

My eyes flicker open. I expect to see mushroom trees and flying trains in the sky, but no. Everything is different now. Gone are the screaming people and the Mad Prince’s banquet. Instead, I’m in a web. Thick branches the size of houses link up to spherical nodes. The branches are made up of a red, fleshy, muscle type material. The nodes are massive clumps of tendons and tissue, wiggling under the rhythm of the pulses. These branches and nodes crisscross over, under, and through each other for miles around, up, down, and sideways. It’s all web, viscous web all over. No sky, no ground, no horizon. The giant flesh web goes on into the distance before it disappears behind a red fog.

That haze back at the banquet must have triggered another one of my Nexus jumps. Of course I’m not done with this adventure. Why would I be?

Right now I’m standing on a flesh branch of my own. Veins below the skin beat to the rhythm of a heart. Feels like I’m touching someone else’s pulse. I step back, but I feel the beat under every step I take. I think I might be inside something living. Let’s hope it doesn’t try to forcefully evict me.

Aside from the web, I see nothing of interest in this place. There aren’t any discernible landmarks anywhere. If I started climbing around, I’m sure I’d get lost within minutes. I listen to see if there’s anything around me. All I hear is a quiet, high pitched whine that seems to be everywhere. Mostly white noise. The only other thing I pick up is my own pulse thumping behind my ears.

Well, at least nothing is trying to kill me. Pretty quiet here. I’ll take boredom over things trying to kill me every day of the week. It’s a good time for a rest, get myself sorted out. I’ve been running around for what feels like years. I think I deserve a break.

I lie down on my back and rest my head on the flesh. Hmm, this is surprisingly comfy. It’s no water bed, but this flesh branch is kind of soft. I could sleep here if I wanted to. The heart beats underneath are a little annoying, but I think I can tune that out if I give it some time.

My limbs stretch out as I make myself at home. My eyes shut and I try to get some sleep. Try is the key word there. I try to take a nap, but there’s something that’s keeping me from taking that step. Something doesn’t feel right. Even with my eyes closed, there’s something keeping me tense. Something keeping me on edge.

I sit up and listen carefully. Is there something nearby? I don’t hear anything moving. Could there be something out there that’s silently stalking me? No, I don’t think so. All I hear is white noise. That, and my own heart beat.

Wait, my heart beat? I feel the veins behind my ears pulsing, and at the same time I feel the flesh I’m sitting on beat with the same rhythm. In unison, my pulse and the ground beat together. Thump thump, thump thump, thump thump. It’s the same.

Before both were quiet enough that I wouldn’t notice it if I was doing anything else, but now that I noticed it, I can’t not listen to it. The two beats, conjoined in timing, is all I hear now. Thump thump, thump thump, thump thump.

I shiver. Things trying to kill me, I know how to handle that. A world that shares my heart beat? I don’t know how to process that. I don’t think it’s dangerous, but at the same time how am I supposed to deal with a giant web that’s synced up with my body? It’s unnerving, man.

I shake my head and get up on my feet. I don’t notice it as much standing up, but my feet still feel the heartbeats. It’s putting me off. I think I’ll go insane if this keeps up.

Hold on, I think I can fix it. I just need to change my own heart beat. Yeah, that should work. Let’s do a bit of exercise, raise my beats per minute. That’ll throw my pulse out of sync!

The moment I get the idea, I jog in place. I start off with a normal pace, but then I bump it up to a super fast trample with my monster powers. My legs turn to blurs as I stomp out a ditch in the fleshy ground. Huh, maybe I should compete in the Equestria Games once this is all over. I could blow away the competition in a hundred yard dash!

After a minute, I stop jogging. I’m not panting, but I do press a talon behind my ear. My pulse shot up to at least twice of what it was. It’s now a rapid stream of thumps. I’d be worried if it didn’t do that after some exercise.

Good to know I can do that. I drop on my back again and stretch my limbs once more. I’m getting myself that rest one way or another. Maybe my pulse will sync up with the flesh web again, but hopefully I’ll doze off before that happens. If it bugs me I’ll jog again.

I rest my head on the flesh. My eyes shoot open. The beats underneath the flesh have sped up to match the pace of my pulse. They’re in sync again.

I jump up and cry out. That’s not a thing that should happen! Why is that a thing that is happening?! Thump thump, thump thump, thump thump. The beats send chills up my legs. Seriously, I’ve dealt with magic aliens, demons, damn warzones, but this is crossing the line. This flesh web should not be doing what it’s doing right now!

Is this Tartarus? Am I in Tartarus? I’m going to stab that Mad Prince Bastard next I see him for sending me to Tartarus!

My Tyranid blade grows out. Screw it, I’m not playing with this! I slash through the tendons of my branch. It splits apart like melting butter. Blood spurts out of the hole. I smile. Ha, take that you flesh web-AH!!

A pain spikes through my skull. I collapse, clutching my head and rolling around. AAAAHHH! Feels bad! Feels bad! Feels bad! It’s like my brain stubbed its toe on a table leg. Ow, ow, ow, this is not pleasant.

The sharp pain leaves as soon as it came. All I’m left with is a throbbing sensation in the back of my head. I look up, and the hole I made in the flesh is sealing up at the same rate my brain pain is going.

Duly noted, don’t hurt the web. I slump on the ground. This place seems to share more than just my heart beat. I think it reflected its pain back onto me. Well, that’s a bummer. Can’t do anything about that synced up heart beat. This place is going to drive me to insanity! Better find a way out before that happens.

The web spans miles in every direction. I don’t know if there is anything of worth to find. No matter. I’ll never leave if I don’t try. With that thought, I get up and wander up my branch. No doubt I’ll get lost, but I don’t think there’s anything I can do about that.

I make my way up to one of the nearby nodes. The node has five other branches stemming off from it. The ends of the branches twist together to form a wad of warped flesh, hence the node. It doesn’t look anything spectacular. It’s just a connection point for all the other branches. Still, it’s rather large. I think it’s the size of a house.

As I approach the node, the white noise that filled the air changes. It bends and twists and grows and shrinks. The white noise transforms into something with more shape. This is all figurative, of course. Noise doesn’t have a shape. But I can tell the high pitched whine is gaining form, becoming something more complex than just an ambient tone.

At first I don’t quite recognize it. It sounds muffled and choppy, but there is a sort of pattern to it. As I get closer to the node, I’m able to identify the noise. It’s voices. I don’t understand what the voices are saying. They sound like they’re coming from a different room with the door closed. It’s all mumbling that I can’t recognize.

This is weird. Raw wads of flesh aren’t supposed to make voices. What I’m looking at doesn’t have any mouth parts or holes to make voice sounds with. The voices don’t sound like they’re coming from behind a wall of skin and muscle. It’s like the voices are just there. It’s off-putting. Combine that with the infinite flesh web and the heartbeat thing…

Oh jeez, I know I mentioned I might be in Tartarus right now, but that was a spur of the moment thing. I didn’t think I’d actually be in Tartarus. Well, maybe not Tartarus, but I’m probably inside something equivalent to it. Voices and flesh structures are never a good thing. Just ask the Zerg and Protoss.

The voices are getting louder as I approach them. Yeah, great idea, approach the mysterious voices. What could happen? Solid words float up from the chatter. Soon I’m able to hear full sentences. When I’m standing at the base of the node, I can make out a full blown conversation.

There are two voices. I hear a lady’s voice, somewhat on the older side. “I worry about you all the time.”

The other voice sighs. It sounds macho, maybe somewhat young. Mid twenties perhaps? “I’ll be fine, Mom. Mister North never gets into any dangerous situations. I’m just there to look tough and scare off anybody that wants a piece of him.”

Mom? Mister North? I don’t know if this is the heartbeat thing, but I’m getting a feeling I should know these names. It’s as if the Mom is actually my mom and I work a lot with Mister North. It feels familiar, but I don’t know why. My mom would never worry about me like that, and I don’t know a Mister North. I know Arctic North. Is that what they’re talking about?

“I worry about you all the time,” the woman says.

“I’ll be fine, Mom. Mister North never gets into any dangerous situations.” Wait, are they repeating themselves? I think they’re repeating. “I’m just there to look tough and scare off anybody that wants a piece of him.” Yep, they’re repeating.

Eh, not important. I got to find a way to get out of here. “I worry about you all the time.” Or at least get away from this. I swear this place is designed to make me go insane. I think that’s why the Mad Prince sent me here. Got to get out of here before I give him what he wants!

A line from our conversation pops back in my brain. “So if the voices have wants, does that mean the Nexus is hearing those wants?”

Oh right, he said the Nexus will give me what I want, but I have to deal with the voices first before that. Huh… I wonder if these are the voices he was talking about. I didn’t think he’d actually help me. He could be lying. He probably is.

“I worry about you all the time.”

I don’t see a way to talk to random voices, especially ones that repeat themselves over and over. But if this is what the Nexus hears, can’t hurt to try. Just how do I go about doing it? Do I touch the node? I raise a talon and poke—

A cozy room. A blazing fireplace. A mare in her sixties sitting on a couch. “I worry about you all the time.”

A huge hoof patting the mare’s shoulder. “I’ll be fine, Mom. Mister North never gets into any dangerous situations. I’m just there to look tough and scare off anybody that wants a piece of him.”

Wait a moment. Isn’t this what happens when I eat a pony and see their memories? I do this flashback thing. This feels like a flashback thing.

“But you’re heading to Manehattan,” the mare says. Oh hey, we’re moving on in the conversation. That’s progress. “What if you catch Blacklight? I keep reading about how Blackwatch guards keep turning into monsters!”

The large hooves lift up. Embrace the old mare. “I said I’ll be fine. I won’t be going anywhere near that stuff. Plus I’ll be wearing my armor. That’ll protect me from anything short of falling from the sky.”

The mare sobs. “Please don’t fall out of the sky.”

“I won’t, Mom.”

A long moment of silence. Sobbing. “Please be safe, Orion.”

Huh, that got me nowhere. It was just a memory. What the heck can I do with a memory? At least the memory had ponies and Blacklight, no crazy world of aliens and monsters, so I think I’m going in the right direction, maybe.

I look out at the infinite web of flesh. There are nodes all over the place. Is each one of them a memory of a pony? That’s a lot of memories. I guess I should start making my way through them.

I turn to climb the node I just touched, but it isn’t there. Instead, I see the cozy room from that memory. It didn’t replace the node, it’s just there. It simply is. In the middle of the room, a large stallion is sitting on a chair. It looks like he’s embracing somebody, but there’s only empty air between his hooves.

Again, huh? I just went through a memory. Is this the owner of that memory? Is he the voice I have to talk to so I get out of here? “Hey, dude,” I say to him, trying to grab his attention. “I need you to do me a solid. I need you to want me to get out of here. Can you do that?”

The stallion looks up at me. Originally he looked calm and peaceful, but now something about him is off. I can’t put… Oh wait, it’s the eyes. His eyes are burning with intense hatred!

“Are you okay?” I ask. This does seem off.

The stallion’s mouth curls in a sneer. “You killed me,” he hisses.

I take a step back. My tentacles are tensing up, ready to shift out if needed. “Uh, I’ll just let you be.”

The stallion lets out a roar. The roar shakes the branch I’m on, and it shakes the inside of my head! The stallion steps forward, and he grows. He grows from his normal large stallion self to a fleshy giant the size of a house. The cozy room fades away, leaving behind the fleshy node. The flesh surges. The giant’s form presses against the skin like a pimple about to pop. The flesh bursts apart, and the giant charges out screaming.

The monster is a giant pony with raw flesh exposed and a mouth of bleeding gums. He roars, “You killed us all!” I dash out of the way before his foot squishes me into a pulp. He punches a crater out of the flesh branch, and I feel a sting in the back of my head. “Rip and tear until you are done!”

I clutch my forehead as I make a mad dash away from the bastard. Fight through the migraine, get out of here. Okay, clearly he’s not a happy camper. This whole voice talking thing might be more challenging than I thought. Sheogorath did say the voices want me dead.

The monster makes chase. I feel the branch shake every time he smashes a hoof down. I wince every time he does so. Sweet mercy, it’s like a mountain is bashing me inside the head. My brain is going to split apart at any moment!

I run towards the other end of the branch where it connects to a different node. There’s a branch running vertical from the node. Aha, I doubt Mister Big-n-Angry can climb anything more than a flight of stairs, so it should be a good escape option.

I reach the node and jump on top, ready to climb—

A warm bed. Beneath the covers. Oh, right. The nodes trigger memories.

A female voice comes out of me. “I wish this would last forever.”

A bump in the covers. The bump. Out comes a green mare. She smiles at me. “Isn’t this already forever?”

I laugh. A hoof strokes the mare’s hair. “You’re so cheesy.”

The mare giggles. She leans into the hoof. “No, I’m just that gouda.”

Ah! Bad pun! The green mare starts kissing my face. I kiss her back and get right in there with my tongue.

Oh great, a random memory that certainly isn’t mine is getting more action than I ever have. It’s just a crappy reminder of how dry my love life is. Do you know how hard it is to find a nice guy griffon who isn’t a deadbeat? It’s piss hard.

The mare pushes her head into the crook of my neck. “Don’t go to Manehattan.”

I stroke the back of her neck and kiss her forehead. “But I have to. I have to protect Equestria.”

She buries her nose in my skin and sniffs. “But what if you don’t return.”

Why do I feel inadequate watching this?

I lean on top of her head. “Then I die as your hero.”

Warm tears drip down my throat. “But I want you to live with me. You don’t need to be a hero.”

My hoof squeezes her tight. “I have to do this. I can’t live with myself if I don’t do something. I have to do something, anything.”

Silence. “Please come back.

Just the warm breathes between us. “I promise.”

The web world comes back to me, along with that splitting headache. I’m on top of the node. The monster is still chasing me. Thank Grover that memory ended before those two went at it. If I had to be reminded of my loneliness, I’d gladly let the monster eat me.

Stupid mares getting more action than I ever have. Grumble, grumble.

I look down at the node. Same as before, there is no node. There’s a bed with a mare in it. This is a different mare than the one I saw, so I think she’s the one the memory belongs to. The mare is stroking an empty spot next to her, as if she’s cuddling with a ghost. Hmm, not to different from the other guy’s memory thing.

There is one big difference. The mare has a giant fish hook sticking out of the bottom of her mouth and poking out of her cheek. Fish Hook mare turns her head and looks right up at me. “You took her away from me.”

“No!” I shout at her. “Don’t you dare nail that crap on me! I’m not interested in mares!”

The bed disappears, leaving behind the node. As quick as it goes, Fish Hook Girl presses against the node’s skin from the inside. The skin breaks apart, and she lunges for me. I jump and grab the vertical branch. “Because of you,” she yells, “I’ll never see her again!”

“Maybe I did you a favor!” I yell back. “The single life isn’t so bad.” Keep telling yourself that, Gilda.

The mare twists out of the node and latches on to the base of my branch. She crawls her way up towards me, ignoring the concept of gravity. The big monster comes up to. He doesn’t crawl. He just runs up the wall as if it wasn’t a steep vertical incline.

Sheogorath didn’t say anything about the voices climbing walls!

I kick it into overdrive with my own wall climbing. The distance between us grows as I run up the branch. My headache is pounding my skull to dust. All this running we’re doing is going to turn my brain into a fine goop by the end of this.

The node at the top of the branch blocks me from going anywhere. I’m going to have to touch that if I want to go anywhere else, aren’t I? And that’s going to bring out another voice that wants to kill me. I swear there’s a better course of action for me to take, but my headache is making it hard to think.

I sigh. I really don’t have any good ideas. I jump to grab on to the bottom of the node—

A bottle smashes against a wall. “Bitch, don’t you dare take my kid from me!”

A mare. She’s standing defensive. Her magic holds a wooden bat. “Stop you tantrum, Sunrise! You’re making things worse for yourself.”

I snap. “Bullshit. You’re the childish one here. I’m the one acting reasonable.”

The mare steps back. The bat comes between us. “Stay right where you are. You’re not going to hurt my daughter.”

Another bottle goes flying. It hits the wall. “Our daughter! We raised her together. And you have no right to take her from me!”

What’s with all these weird memories? I didn’t ask to look into everyone’s dirty laundry.

The mare steps forward. Tears run down her face. “How can you raise a kid from a bar? Did you get diapers off that waitress hussy of yours?!”

I step forward. “Leave Sapphire out of this! I didn’t catch her packing her bags when I came home from work early!”

The mare spits. “And I don’t put my dick in every hole I find!”

I yell. My hoof smashes the mare across the face.

Wow, I found the wrong node to look into. Can I get out of here, please? I’d rather run from crazy voices than to sit through this shit show.

The bat swings. I black out.

Oh hey, a KO. That’ll end my suffering. Now to do the other suffering thing. Excuse me? World fade, please?

The web world returns to my vision. Thank you!

The voice monsters are nearing the node. Yipee. Maybe I was too hasty in leaving that node. I look up to see where the next branch is. But there are no branches. There’s just an angry stallion looking me dead in the eye. Oh right, the memory room thing. Got to deal with that first. “Uh… hi,” I say.

The stallion grabs my wrists and yanks me off from what I’m grabbing. Which is weird, since I don’t see what I’m grabbing now that the memory room is up. Looks like I’m grabbing empty space. “You weren’t supposed to see that,” the stallion sneers. “Now I got to kill you.”

“Join the club,” I say. “I’ve met a lot people with that exact same hobby.”

The stallion smiles. “Then I suppose this makes me club president.” He flings me away and lets go. I fall past the voice monsters, past the node, and down into empty space.

It doesn’t feel like I’m falling. It feels like the world is moving up and I’m standing still. Yeah, this doesn’t feel like falling, and I’d say I’m an expert on falling. I’m not getting any wind in my feathers or that gut feeling that gravity is dragging me down. Other than the web moving up, I would have no idea I was falling.

Now that I think about it, I should’ve tried this in the first place. When that monster popped out of the node, I should’ve jumped overboard. Fall through the sky and leave that monster behind. To be fair, I have a splitting headache. I doubt I would’ve thought that up at the time.

Hmm, I’ve been falling for a bit. Branches and nodes keep zooming past me. I think I hit terminal velocity. How far does this flesh web go? It can’t be infinite. Or maybe it is. I don’t know enough about extra dimensional realms to make anything close to an educated guess. And what happens if I do get to the end? Will I have enough velocity to finally go splat hard enough that I won’t be able to reform? That idea worries me. I don’t know how durable my body is. It’s pretty durable, but I don’t know how far it goes.

This is a really long fall. I’m starting to get worried about what would happen if I hit something—

I splat against a branch. I shriek bloody murder. The fall didn’t hurt me, not at all. It’s the branch that’s hurting me. I’d find a way to describe this feeling, but I’m too busy clutching my head and banging my skull against the branch. The headache, the mother of all headaches. Feels like all the blood vessels in my head burst all at once when I hit the branch.

I roll on the floor, kicking, crying and shrieking. It’s not a pleasant sight, or sound for that matter. We griffons make the most awful shriek sounds. Just imagine what an eagle sounds like if you ripped off its wing. Then add the volume of a lion. Then just rip off the lion’s nuts while you’re at it. And twist the eagle’s neck right before it snaps, and keep it there.

That’s close to what my brain feels like right now.

Pain doesn’t last forever. A good noose will usually end it for you. But that’s not an option for me. The pressure on my gray matter dulls. My shrieks stop and I’m left panting on the floor, lying in a pool of my own sweat. I want to go home.

After some time of just sitting still, I gain enough composure to stand up like the big girl I am. I really got to be more careful with these branches. Now that I know what will happen if I hit one at terminal velocity, I have no incentive to jump into the void. If I’m going to move around this place, I have to walk.

I get up and look around. Oh, who am I kidding? There’s nothing to look around for. It’s all just flesh web. What am I going to find in this dump, more things that want to kill me? It’s just all going to be flesh web and killer voices.

A yellow light glitters in the corner of my eye. I flip around, expecting one of the voices to attack, but instead I find something odd. The node I landed next to is wrapped up in thick chains. There’s nothing peculiar about the chains, except they’re glowing yellow. There doesn’t seem to be a padlock anywhere. Do the chains connect with themselves?

Odd… Very odd. In a realm that has my heartbeat and crazy voice monsters that want to kill me, something about this chained up node bugs me. It’s like it doesn’t belong.

I step up to the base of the node. I can hear a voice coming from it as I approach. “She’s my mistake…” The voice sounds elegant, and has some authority behind it. Definitely a lady with power. “She’s my mistake…” Also sounds worried. I feel like I heard that voice somewhere before. “She’s my mistake…”

“She’s my mistake…”

Sounds so familiar. I wonder what kind of voice is in that node for it to be chained up like that.

“She’s my mistake…”

Eh, not my problem. Got to find a way out of this dump.

“It’s my fault Gilda turned into this. She’s my mistake…”

I freeze in my tracks. Excuse me, what did the pretty lady voice say? I run up to the base of the node again. What did she say?

“She’s my mistake…”

“You said my name,” I say aloud. “Why did you say my name? Why am I your mistake?”

“She’s my mistake…”

Freaking broken record. “Yeah, I know, you said that ten times already. Why am I your mistake? What do you have to got to do with all this?”

“It’s my fault Gilda turned into this. She’s my mistake…”

This is going nowhere. I look at the node locked up behind the chains. Whoever is saying my name is inside this node. I’m going to have to touch it to get any answers. Tempting, but how desperate am I for an answer to a question I just asked? If I touch it and look in that memory, I’ll have to run from whatever comes out of it. Going by all the chains, I don’t think I’ll like what’ll come out.

I poke my head over the edge of my branch. I don’t see another branch anywhere down below me. If I jump, I’ll probably hit another branch at terminal velocity. That’s another headache I don’t want. But it’ll be an escape route from whatever decides to poke its head out of that node.

I look back at the node. It’s yellow glow is tempting me. “She’s my mistake…” Do I risk it? I got nothing better to do, but I don’t want to keep running around. Decisions, decisions.

Eh, screw it. I’ll down some pain killers if I find some. I come up to the base of the node once more. The lady’s voice is as clear as ever. Please don’t make me regret this. My talon reaches out, I poke the flesh of the node…

Nothing happens.

Huh. Didn’t expect that. I slap the flesh a couple of times, give it a few more pokes. Is it on? Did I break it?

“She’s my mistake…”

Who is saying that?!

I pull at the chains. They don’t budge. They’re so tight they’re squeezing the flesh. I think the chains are keeping this node locked down tight. If they’re keeping something in, then I bet they’ll keep me out.

Well, that’s a bust. That memory is sticking in place. I walk the other direction towards the other side of the branch. I’m back to my original problem now, how do I get out of this web world? I bet there’s a door marked exit somewhere that I missed when the voices were chasing me. Ten bits says I was sitting on that door the moment I got here. Wouldn’t be the craziest thing that’s ever happened to me.

“Gilda, you featherbrain!” That’s a different voice. It’s coming from the node I’m walking up to. Hey, it used my name! I think I’m in the part of the web that says my name a lot. The node doesn’t look weird. Looks like any other node in this web, twisted and fleshy. No chains.

Then, of all things, I hear my voice. “Stop being a buzzkill, Tanya.”

I blink. That was my voice, wasn’t it? That sounded a lot like me. Did I say Tanya?

“Gilda, you featherbrain!” Holy crap, that is Tanya. It’s been a year since I last heard her voice, so I didn’t recognize it at first. Now that I’m paying attention, it sounds exactly like her! She still sounds like a buzzkill.

“Stop being a buzzkill, Tanya.” And that does sound like me! And I agree, complete buzzkill. Did I just find something useful? I don’t know how much it helps since she’s dead, but it’s better than playing with the memories of lesbians and violent spouses. Let’s get in this baby!

I practically ram into the side of this node! This has me excited!

Broken glass. A clear puddle. A blue suitcase. Hold up, blue suitcase? Why the heck is the Nexus here? “Gilda, you featherbrain!”

Me. I see me. Holy crap that’s me. Head of an eagle, body of a lion, a nice ass. I’m standing in front of me, and I’m looking at me. I’m looking at myself. It’s like looking in the mirror, except the image isn’t reversed. This is what I look like to other people!

I’m getting more excited over this than I should be.

I, or memory I… My memory self, holds up a claw. “Stop being a buzzkill, Tanya.” I look kind of tipsy. Have I been drinking? I think I’ve been drinking. I can use a stiff drink right now. “Grab your vodka. Tonight we party!”

A raised fist. “You dropped my vodka! It’s all over the floor!” I sound angry. I mean Tanya sounds pretty angry. Memory self doesn’t seem to notice. Tanya holds the blue suitcase up as she steps over the glass. “It was a good one, too. Imported from our fatherland.”

Memory me stumbles over to a table and latches on. “Where’d you get that suitcase.”

That’s what I want to know. Tanya clutches it close to herself. “I won it in a poker game.” Bullcrap.

“Tonight?” I ask. “Who’s playing poker at this party?”

Tanya chuckles. “You wouldn’t believe me.”

A yellow unicorn with thick rimmed glasses walks by us. Memory me almost body tackles him and spurts in his ear. “Hey… Hey… Eureka… Where’s Rainbow? I want to ask her who’s playing poker?”

Really, Eureka? The unicorn pushes me off with his magic. “Last I saw her she’s doing tricks on the patio. She’s really putting her new wing to good use.”

Memory me pats him on the shoulder. “Thanks bud.” He walks away, and I waddle in some random direction. I can’t help but stare at my own butt as I leave.

Tanya looks down at the blue suitcase. “Now, what country would give me a fortune for this?”

The web world comes back. That was an interesting memory. It didn’t get me anywhere close to an exit here, but I’ve confirmed something I suspected for a very long time. I’m straight up sexy. Heck, I’d go gay for myself. Don’t know why Tanya didn’t. Or maybe she did. Hmm… That would explain a lot.

I turn back to the node. Like the other nodes, this one is—

A pair of massive talons shoot out and grab me by the neck. I choke as I’m thrown on my back. A massive owl-lion towers above me and slams my head repeatedly into the ground. “How are you this stupid!” Tanya yells while she bashes my head into a pulp.

Oh right, the voice memory monster things. I forgot those happen. While Tanya is a big girl, my brain hurts less from her bashing my head around and more from her bashing my head in the branch. Yep, another headache coming on.

I swipe her side with a clenched fist. A trail of spit follows her as I knock her off me with my monster strength. I twist up on my feet and grow out the Tyranid blade. I haven’t fought one of these voice monsters yet. Don’t know why I didn’t up there. Let’s see how this plays out.

Tanya clutches her side as she gulps for air. She stumbles near the edge of the branch, then looks at me with a dull glare. “Oh great, you’ve finally come to grace us peasants. How are the Banelings treating you?”

I wave the Tyranid blade around. “Yep. And I’m not afraid to stab— Wait… how do you know about the Banelings?”

Tanya lifts her head and wipes the spit off her beak. “Hard not to. Those things burnt like motherfuckers.”

Uh… my brain is making sparks. “You remember that?”

She nods. “It hurt me as much as it hurt you, but it was damn funny hearing you scream.”

I raise a talon. “First of all, fuck off. Second of all, how do you remember that? I thought I killed you!”

Tanya gives me a deadpan look. “You did. Wasn’t pleasant, for the record.”

“So you remember the Zerg? And Sheogorath? And the suitcase?”

She nods again. “And I remember how you got your ass handed to you by a unicorn. Griffon smoothy anyone?”

The web branch we’re standing on pulses frantically at the mention of that memory. “Are you talking about Cherry? I nearly killed that bitch if”—

“If you didn’t use my bank account to buy an industrial mixer?” she says with a raised eyebrow.

I roll my eyes, then I perk up when something occurs to me. “How do you know any of this? I thought I killed you.”

“No, you didn’t kill me. You just ate me.” Tanya taps her noggin. “I’ve been in your head this whole time.”

What… “What?!”

She shrugs. “I’ll explain. But first I have to ask, do you have to monologue all the time?”

Author's Notes:

New Message - "Hey, you seem to be doing alright, all things considered. The Feds are watching your home and keeping tabs on your family. It's a bad idea to go and see those, but I think you already get that. We're going to help you through this the best we can. Keep your head low and keep moving. We'll contact you in time. Oh, and don't eat those berries. They'll give you one hell of a tummy ache."