The blue-eye’s horn bursts into a blue, magical blaze, which shoots a stream of magical bolts. Most of them miss me. The few that do hit can’t keep up with my regeneration. The unicorn steps back when he realizes this.

“It’s Zero!” he cries out. Wait, no, that’s a girl’s voice. This unicorn sounds like a she. “Zero’s alive! Everyone, sound- HCK!”

I cut the unicorn off with a hook to the face. It strikes her from the side. One prong pierces her cheek, another pierces the skull. The unicorn twists with the hook, and I punch her right through the chest. My tentacles shoot out and dissolve her within seconds.

Huh, is it hypocritical of me to assume all Blackwatch goons are guys? I’m always giving them flak for thinking I’m a guy. Yet here I am, thinking they’re all dudes, and I just ate a chick alive. Should I cut them some slack?

A magic bolt hits me in the back of the head. It fries my skin, but I regenerate it just as fast as I lost it. I turn around to find another blue-eye running at me, aiming a magic shooter at my face.

“Quick question,” I say, “Are you a guy or a girl?”

“You killed Arsenic, you bastard!” the blue-eye screams. Clearly a guy. “I’m going to rip off your dick for that!”

I close the distance between us in a split second. The hook snags his chin and rips his head off clean. I grab his bloody stub with a claw and the tentacles go to work, doing their thing.

I got an answer to my previous question with that dick comment. No, I’m not hypocritical. I have no way of knowing what sex these goons are without asking. I can only assume they’re all guys. Blackwatch, on the other claw, should be aware by now that I’m a chick. They don’t need to ask. These guys can look my files up at any point and correct themselves.

A cubicle flies apart as an earth pony crashes through. He gets close enough up to me to shove a magic shooter up under my beak and fire the thing at full power. My beak explodes in a magic blast. Damn it, I just regenerated that!

Before the blue-eye can fire another shot, my fist is sticking through his stomach and out of his backside. The pony screams as a mass of tentacles rips him apart and feeds him to me.

These ponies don’t even bother asking if their field reports are correct. If they can’t get my gender right, then do they have anything else that’s right about me?

More magic bolts fly at me, but these are coming from the side, not from the jack ass that just blew my face off. I turn to find a trio of goons blasting away at me with their shooters. Their aim isn’t off, I’ll give them that. All their shots are hitting home right on my flesh. However, I just ate a couple of their friends. I have enough food in me to regenerate whatever damage they deal.

They have no time to get out of the way before I appear right in front of them. I grab the goons on either side of the triad, and I pull them together to give them all one big bear hug. The three ponies flail and scream as they try to squirm their way out of my grasp.

With a quick squeeze, I crunch the group in my arms. I hear their bones crack and pop one after another. They stop moving, but they all keep screaming. My tentacles tear through them all. The last thing anyone hears from these three are their cries for mercy as I eat them alive.

The whole “am I a hypocrite” debate might be moot at this point. I just massacred half a squad of blue-eyes, and I don’t intend on stopping. The justice system isn’t going to give a crap if one party or another keeps using the wrong pronoun.

“It amazes me how inane your thoughts can be.”

Wait, that’s Rainbow’s voice! Rainbow? You can hear me?

My friend’s raspy voice comes in loud and clear. “Yep. Our minds reconnected about the same time you hooked that one mare in the face. What happened? I thought you were dead.”

Two bolts whiz past my face. I turn to find two goons aiming their shooters at me. I jab both my claws into the floor. A second later two clusters of blades burst out from the ground underneath the goons, ripping them to shreds.

As a matter of fact, I almost did die, I say as the ground spikes retract back to my arms. Turns out I have a weakness, and that is consistent artillery fire.

“And here I thought you were immune to explosions”.

Blame my parents. They didn’t vaccinate me for them.

Somewhere in this maze of cubicles, a blue-eye yells a command. “Everyone fall back! Regroup at the elevators!” Following this, several ponies run form their positions towards what I assume to be where the elevators are at. Of course I’m only speculating based on given information. I can’t see anyone over the cubicle walls, only hear them.

Sure, let them run. The fewer suicidal goons in my way, the better. And if they’re heading for the elevators, they’ll lead me to a one way ticket to the top. Now that I’ve sorted things out with myself, how about I head up and get you out of that box?

“And what’s going to make attempt number two better than attempt one?”

I walk towards where I think the goons escaped too. It doesn’t take me long to find the exit for this office space. It’s an open double door leading to a hallway with flashlights flickering all over the place. For one thing, I’m not doing any stealth.

“Thank goodness! I won’t have to suffer from any more ulcers.”

And I’ll be thwacking you in the head for giving up on me.

Rainbow is silent for a moment. “I’d rather you not.”

I’d rather I will. With a sprint, I run towards the double doors and pop on through into the hallway. Blue-eyes are here to greet my entrance with open arms. The goons are lined up in two rows, one kneeling at the front and another standing at the back. Both rows have all their bolt shooters aiming at my face.

“Don’t you dare do anything to me.”

I can’t help but grin. I got to do something. You called me a chicken.

A wave of deadly, blue magic flies at me. I put two tumor claws in front of my face, and the bolts splash off the tough material. I let out a griffon shriek before charging into Blackwatch’s ranks.

A couple of ponies in my path have enough sense to jump out of my way. One pony, not so much. This blue-eye doesn’t stop shooting at me. I have to force him to stop by slamming right into him. When we connect, I take him on a little ride down the hall. He screams right in my ear right up to the point when I skid on my heel and elbow him into the air. He and his shooter go flying down the hall. He crashes through a door into the ladies' restrooms, where he groans in pain after the dust settles.

Turning on my heel, the tumor I just elbowed the guy with spins me around to face the back of the lines. It smashes down on the ground. While it’s too far to crush anyone underneath, its shockwave sends a chunk of goons soaring through the air.

The blue-eyes who haven’t been knocked on their asses turn on me and open fire. I toss another tumor claw at the cluster of buggers, which crushes the middle of them and throws away the others. Then I strike at another cluster with the same results.

After that, there aren’t many ponies left standing. In fact, most of the blue-eye are either lying on the floor in unconscious or in agony, or are squashed to a fine pulp. Only one blue-eye remains standing. His legs are shaking, and he can hardly keep his shooter still.

I look the lone pony dead in the eye. The poor kid looks like he’s about to piss himself. “Boo,” I say.

The blue-eye jumps, dropping his shooter. He spins around and takes off into some unknown part of the building. Good to know not everyone in this damn organization is suicidal.

“Are you done playing with your food?” Rainbow asks. The thought of me thwacking her is a long gone subject now, but it’ll come up again soon.

One moment, I need to wipe my mouth. My tumor claws shapeshift back to normal, and I walk up towards one of the elevators. Question, how does Las Pegasus sound to you?

“Las Pegasus? What about it?”

Once I break you out, we can’t stick around Manehattan forever. I figure we take a trip to a nice place like Las Pegasus and settle for a while.

“Okay, I can follow that. But why Las Pegasus of all places?”

Before I can answer, the elevator dings to announce its arrival on this floor. Ah good, my ride is here. Slight problem, I wasn’t the one who called it.

Hold that thought, I have company.

The doors part open. As they split, they reveal the occupants inside. Two large ponies, dressed in heavy plate armor, wait for me on the other side. Armored ponies, the Dozers, the same type of Blackwatch soldier that made my life hell back at the music hall.

Nope.

They both get two tumor claws to the face. Their helmets implode under the force of my blows. All strength leaves their bodies, and they topple over into lifeless heaps.

“Damn, you didn’t even give them a chance.”

I kick their limp bodies out of the elevator, one after the other. If only I could do that yesterday. With the dozer out of the way, I press the button for the top floor. They had it coming. We were talking about Las Pegasus, right?

The doors close and the elevator shoots up. “Yeah, why the heck do you want to go to Las Pegasus?”

Let’s see, there’s twenty-four seven entertainment, bars open all night, lots of customers running around who would be happy to drop by a novelty scone shop, and it’s in the clouds. Las Pegasus is perfect to hang low at.

“Those are all bad reasons considering our present situation.”

I thought you’d be up for the idea. What’s so bad about Las Pegasus?

“On a normal day there are hundreds of tourists in that city, tourists who are noisy, rude, and downright filthy. Anything there costs a fortune, and don’t even think about opening up a store there without corporate money. I wouldn’t go there at the best of times, and we’re not in the best of times. We’d be wanted criminals, and they’d spot us in a heartbeat.”

Huh, haven’t thought about all that. I just assumed Rainbow would go along with the plan. Can you think of a better place?

I hear nothing but the rush of the elevator for a couple of seconds before Rainbow speaks. “The Badlands.”

The Badlands? That’s a terrible idea. There’s no way we could live out there.

“If you look at the big picture, the Badlands are perfect. It’s sparsely populated, so we can lay low wherever we like. It’s sunny all the time, so you never have to worry about freezing to death in the winter. And it’s far, far away outside of Equestria. Blackwatch can’t reach us out there.”

They’re called the Badlands for a reason. How do you expect us to survive out in that hostile wasteland?

“It’s not too hard. I've done some time in that place. You just have to put some effort into looking for food and water.”

No, I don’t want to do that. And on another note, what about my scone shop? I can’t run a shop while out in the middle of nowhere. I worked hard for that store, I think. I think I worked hard for the shop. Stupid amnesia.

“You think Blackwatch will let you run any kind of store in any nation?”

Blackwatch be damned, I want to bake scones, even if it kills me. Heck, I'll open a place in Canterlot just to spite them!

Rainbow Dash huffs. “Your funeral.”

The elevator slows down and makes a ding at full stop. The doors open, and to my surprise, there’s only one pony outside to greet me.

The little blue-eye is holding up a hoof, expecting me to show my badge. What he didn’t expect is a full grown, pissed off, lady griffon stepping out. I shove the poor bastard to the ground when I get out. Not worth my time.

This is the same metal plated hallway I walked through earlier. It shouldn’t be too hard to find my way to the warehouse room. It is a little weird that the hallway is practically empty. Earlier, blue-eyes and trashbags were running around the place and keeping it busy. Now it’s dead.

“If it’s this quiet, Blackwatch could be setting up a trap for you.”

Makes sense. They have trouble fighting me on even ground. They might be all sitting around the corner, ready to shoot me to bits and pieces on first sight.

After a little bit of walking, I find myself standing in front of the dead end that secretly leads to the warehouse room. I know I’m at the right spot because the not so secret access panel is sticking out from the wall.

“In fact, I bet they’re waiting for you behind that door.”

Then let’s spring the trap.

I grow out my tumor claws once again. I should have these out all the time, I don’t know why I keep putting them away. I slam them against the access panel. The panel smashes into a pancake, and the wall buckles from my strike. I hit it again and make the dent grow. Then I hit it again, and again, and again.

The metal creaks and groans with each bang. At some point, something snaps. Right after that snap, I hit the wall as hard as I can, one more time. The wall spits off into the air, glides for a bit, and crashes down in the middle of the warehouse, crushing one of the black boxes upon landing.

I yell out. “Honey, I’m home!”

I step on through, and I find my trap. Hundreds of blue-eyes are standing on the catwalks. They’re packed tight on each walkway. Their shooters are hanging over the railings, and they’re all pointed at where the door used to be. By extension, they’re all pointed at me.

They all start shooting once they spot me.

It’s a wall of blue, magic death. I dive to the floor of the warehouse before the magic wall turns the doorway into a slab of molten metal. I weave and dodge in between the black boxes. The boxes provide a decent amount of cover. They block most of the angles the blue-eyes can shoot at me. Those that do have angles on me, I keep my tumor claws high so most of their bolts splash off them.

“Round two is doing better than round one.”

I dash between a row of boxes, avoiding a river of bolts aiming for my ass. Concentrating, can’t talk right now.

A thought crosses my mind. I jumped in here as a Hail Mary, but I don’t have a follow up plan for this. I intended to go the same way I did earlier, but that means I’ll have to take the elevator on the other side of the room. That elevator has no cover, and I'll be a sitting duck while I ride it up. Hmm, should have thought this through before busting down the door.

A low rumble erupts from above me. I look up at a hole in the ceiling, one made from the artillery, and see the golden underside of an airship flying above the building.

That’s Blueblood’s airship. It looks like it’s coming in for a landing. Why is it returning?

“Hey Gilda, you’re going to want to hurry up.”

A magic bolt slips past my defenses and stings me in the throat. I choke as that little piece of flesh regenerates. I’m going as fast as I can without blowing up in bits. Is something going on?

“They’re moving my box! I don’t know where they’re moving it too, but they’re doing it!”

I glance back up at the underside of the airship. The low rumble changes octaves as it descends onto the roof. I think I might have a good idea where you’re going.

“Thanks, Mister Monologues-A-Lot. I’d have no idea what’s going on without your constant play by play.”

Yeah, you wouldn’t. No need to be rude about it.

“I just want to be out of this box!”

Fair enough. Just give me enough time to get up to the roof.

“Not much time for that!”

While we’re talking, I run past a broken box. The bunker door I knocked off earlier landed on this box and sliced it in half. As I glance at it, I notice some of the magic bolts are hitting the door, and they’re only leaving little black marks on the steel. I grin. That door might be my ticket out of here. It would make a good shield against the bolts. All I need to do is get it to the roof elevator and I can protect myself.

I turn around and run through the magic bolt storm that’s been chasing me. Several bolts strike my unprotected areas, my legs, my elbows, my butt. They like hitting my butt, weirdos.

With a dive, I jump into the closest half of the box. Relief flows over me as the black metal cuts off the magic storm from hitting me. The bolts ping off the metal. They don’t sound too far off from a rainstorm. That’s one problem temporarily taken care of. Now I have room to think. No time though, Rainbow’s box is moving.

The tumor claws shrink into my normal ones, and I grab the door from the bottom. With all the strength I can muster, I try to lift the thing up. I pull it up several inches, but my body can’t handle the weight. My limbs shudder before I drop it with a loud clang.

Son of a bison, this thing is heavy! How in the world did I punch it this far earlier? Tumor claws, that’s how. Damn, if only they had talons, or something to grab with.

The tumor claws grow out once more. Maybe they’ll work, I don’t know. They’re big balls of hardened flesh. They’re good for smashing things, maybe they're good for lifting. I shimmy them underneath the door. They get under there, but not without some effort on my part.

Once they’re under, I lift up once more. To my surprise, the door lifts up with ease. Huh, tumor claws give me a weird strength boost. They really do solve everything. I wonder how good they are at baking scones.

Something gooey slaps against my foot. I glance down to find a tentacle wrapping itself around my leg. I shout and let go of the door. What in Tartarus is that!

I stomp on it with my other foot, and the tentacle slithers back from where it came from, which is the other half of the box. Sweet mercy, there’s something in this box with me! Why did I jump in here?!

It takes me a moment to realize something important. The door didn’t fall. After I let go, it didn’t drop, not even an inch. It’s just hovering in midair.

A low growl emits from behind the door. The door floats up into the air, revealing the prize behind it.

I find myself standing in front of a giant, bloody eye. Its pupil locks on to my face and dilates. Little tentacles are wiggling all around the thing. Three large tentacles stretch above the eye, lifting the door above the box. It rumbles a bit.

Uh, Rainbow, do you have any idea what this thing is?

“I’ve been trapped inside my own box for a month. I know as much about that thing as you do. Now stop making new friends and break out your old one!”

A slit in the shape of an X forms across the pupil. The X grows, and the eyeball splits open, revealing a maw with rows upon rows of serrated teeth. Goop drips down from its now open flaps, and wave of rancid breath blows over me.

I can’t get out of this box any faster if I wanted to, and I do! With my monster speed, I scramble out of the box and flop on the floor. Tentacles shoot out to grab me, but they miss me by inches. Nope! Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope!

To compound my bad luck, when I jump back out into the open, the blue-eyes up on the catwalks start shooting at me again! A lot more hit their mark than before, but I don’t care. There’s a giant eye slithering behind me that wants me for a snack!

“Stop playing around and get to my box!”

I said I’m working on it!

I run for the roof elevator. After swerving through several rows of boxes, the elevator platform comes into view, or at least the elevator shaft. No one’s lowered the thing from the roof since I fell off the building. No time I suppose. I run up to it and hit the down button on the control panel. The elevator whirls to life as the platform begins lowering from the ceiling.

With the constant bolt fire on my back, I don’t stop moving. I sprint to the left, and just in time, too. A huge tentacle slams into the wall behind me, right where I was just standing. It’s a huge, thick, pulsating thing that’s making all sorts of nasty slobbery sounds.

My eyes follow the tentacle back to the source. The giant eye creature is oozing and climbing over the boxes, and it shot one of its appendages at me. The blue-eyes are shooting a storm at the thing. The bolt swarm is burning its flesh, but it keeps on regenerating its wounds.

Ah great, I think I just met my cousin.

Another mega tentacle shoots out from behind the eye, and it slams into a catwalk right above me. This section of catwalk has a dense gathering of goons, and the tentacle grabs them all and starts dissolving them. They scream as their bodies liquefy and become part of the eye.

Several more tentacles shoot out across the room, each hitting a group of blue-eye lines up on the catwalks. While the monster eats them, the other surviving goons shoot at either the tentacles or the eye itself. None of the magic bolts do any real damage.

Hey, Blackwatch isn’t shooting at me. That’s a plus.

“They stopped moving my box. I think they have me on Blueblood’s airship.”

On my way. Just have to wait for the elevator to -

One thing I forgot about was the eye monster is holding the metal door, the same metal door I kicked out to get into this room. The same one I tried to pick up and use as a shield. The monster flings its tentacle around, and it lets go of the door. The giant, metal slab flies over the boxes and through the air. It doesn’t stop until it crashes into the wall, right where my descending elevator just so happens to be. Both door and elevator collide and they explode in a shower of shrapnel.

- get down here… You know, I don’t think the universe wants me to rescue you.

“Get me out of here or we’re not friends anymore!”

Relax. I’m all for flipping off the universe.

I need to get to the roof now! I look up at the elevator hole up on the ceiling. Crap, that’s really high up. If only I still had the elevator, or a really tall ladder. Heck, if my monster powers could be useful for once and let me run up walls, that would be fantastic!

…

Hey Gilda.

Yes Gilda?

You know you can run up walls with your monster powers, right?

Oh yeah, I can do that. I forgot about that. Thanks for reminding me.

Hey Gilda.

Yes Gilda?

You know you’re a dumbass, right?

I’m reminded every chapter of my life, thank you very much.

Time to put inner monologues aside. I need to get up to that roof yesterday!

The tumor claws shift to normal, and I take off sprinting for the wall. With a running jump, I slam into the side and dig my claws into the concrete. I kick myself into a vertical gallop, and I’m running up the wall. Hehe, I forgot how fun this is!

There’s still a catwalk above me, all with blue-eyes shooting at the monster. Eh, they’re not too scary. I headbutt the bottom of the walkway and break it off its hinges. The blue-eyes standing on it tumble past me as I keep running.

Within a few seconds, I pop out of the elevator hole and dive onto the roof. The cold night breeze greets me once again like an old friend. That was easy.

A low rumble grabs my attention. The moment I get up on the roof, the golden airship takes off. It lifts up several yards into the air and makes a beeline out of here. It doesn’t bother making a turn. The airship just goes straight over the Manehattan skyscape, a golden monolith traveling over a twinkling city.

Oh… that’s bad.

“No no no no no no no!” Rainbow screams. A sharp pain shoots through my head. I think her panicking is giving me a migraine. “I was this close to getting out of here! This”-

Her voice cuts off when she gets too far. Our connection is severed! Crap crap crap crap!

As the airship flies away, the sound of artillery fire erupts behind me. “BRAUMP, BRAUMP, BRAUMP!” Great, just great! This is the perfect time to do this song and dance all over again!

I sprint out of the way just as the area around the elevator hole explodes into a much larger hole. Right after, a storm of magic bolts flies at me from every direction. There’s still a considerable amount of Blackwatch up on this roof. Even the pegasi get in on the action and rain death from above. Everyone here has the sense to stay as far away from me as possible.

The tumors come up and shield me from some of the bolts. My instinct for cover kicks in, but the big cover I had last time I was up here is now flying away on a golden blimp. It didn’t do much to begin with, but it was something I could work with. All I have now is a big open plane!

Except I do have something, I have the harpoon cannon! That made for some good cover for a short while…

No! No cover! Cover is for chickens! I don’t have time to hide behind cover! I need to catch that blimp now before it disappears for good!

There’s a pegasus right above me laying down fire from the sky. My normal claws shift out and I super jump up towards him. Before the pegasus can react, I slam into his underside, grab him by the waist, and drag him down to the cold hard ground.

We crater back onto the roof. I keep him, or her, facing up so I don’t crush him, or her, with my weight. I yell right in his, or her, ear. “Fly me to that blimp if you want to live!”

The pegasus flails around and tries flapping his wings as hard as he can to get out of my grasp. Clearly he, or she, is not listening. Scratch that, just he. This gender thing is too much effort. I can see why Blackwatch doesn’t bother.

My grip tightens around his waist, and I yell again. “You’ll wanna try harder if you want to escape. Now fly my to that blimp!”

As the pegasus tries his darn hardest to break loose, something occurs to me. The pegasus is trying his hardest. His wings are working overtime to try to get away from me. He probably has an adrenaline boost to give himself a little kick, too. Even at his best, he doesn’t have enough power to lift me. Forget trying to get to that blimp, I’m too massive for him to pick up at all!

“BRAUMP, BRAUMP, BRAUMP.”

I kick the poor guy off me and jump up on my own four legs. “You’re on your own,” I yell back as I sprint away from the dazed pegasus. Two seconds later, the area he’s sitting in turns into a firework show gone wrong. Don’t worry, I’m sure he lived, probably.

The golden airship has a good amount of distance now. The pegasus idea didn’t work. I could tie a group of them together and use them as a personal blimp, but I don’t have the time or mutual cooperation to do so. I need a solution right now! What do I have? What do I have? Roof, useless. Ponies shooting at me, annoying and useless. Building, sky, airships in the sky…

Airship! Fight airship with airship! I can chase Rainbow’s airship with my own! Yes, that’ll work! But I need to get up to one of those airships to claim one. I can’t jump that high, and I don’t have a wall to run up to get to one. Unless I can get up there somehow, which I don’t see myself doing otherwise I’d be flying at Blueblood’s blimp, I need to bring one of those suckers down here. If I can hook it somehow, I might have enough monster strength to pull it down myself…

Hook! The harpoon cannon! That will work!

I sprint around the holes in the roof, not bothering to shield myself from the magic bolt storm. At full speed, it only takes me a moment to get to the harpoon cannon and dive into the backseat.

The pony the harpoon cord split in twain is still here. It’s been long enough for most of his blood to seep all over the floor. I step around him, but there’s nothing I can do to not step in the blood. It’s wet, cold, and slightly sticky. Ew. I’m going to need a lot of soap to clean it all off.

I plop down on the guy’s seat. It’s not a comfy thing. It’s about as stiff as he is right now. No matter, it does what I need it to do, and that’s put me in front of the controls. The controls are simple to understand at first glance. There’s a joystick, and a big red button right next to the joystick. That’s it.

I grab the stick and push it forward. The cannon whines as it responds to the command. The tube arcs up and points to the night sky. With a little finicking, I aim it at the nearest airship.

Hold on Rainbow, here I come!

My fist slams on the big red button. Something clicks, and a hatch on the tube flies open. On the bottom of this hatch, written in white marker, are large letters that spell out one thing. “It’s Empty, Idiot.”

Shouts and commands yell out beyond my view from this seat. This is starting to turn out like it did last time, and I bet Blackwatch learnt a few things from last time. Well, I learnt something too, and that is to hurry the fuck up!

I search my area high and low for something to load this thing with. In my frantic search, my eyes fall on a hatch on the floor, slightly raised above the pool of blood. In white marker, the word, “Ammo,” is written on it.

I throw the hatch open. Inside are large, metal cones. Some of the cones are covered in the dripping blood of the split pony. Each cone has the word, “BOOM,” in small, black, blocky letters. By sheer coincidence, each cone is about the same diameter as the inside of the tube.

These aren’t what I need! I need to hijack an airship, not shoot it out of the sky!

I stand up from the seat and look over at Big Goldie. It’s almost over the Manehattan coast! Even if I commandeer an airship, there’s no guarantee I’ll catch up to Blueblood’s in time. I need to stop it before it gets too far!
The boom cones cross my mind. I could shoot it down.

A magic bolt hits me square in the eye. I go half blind, but I already feel the regeneration fixing that. With my other good eye, I see the blue-eyes rushing towards me, spraying their magic shooters at my general direction.

No time left. I yank out a boom cone and shove it into the tube hatch. The hatch closes, and magic bolt pings right off the metal. I glance at the source and see a pegasus flying by, taking pot shots at me.

More pegasi swarm the cannon, and they rain more bolts down on me. I put up a tumor claw to block some bolts, and I grab the joystick with the other. With a yank to the side, the cannon jolts to life and swerves around to aim at the gold airship. I pull back to lower the thing, and I hear the tube bang against something. I peak over the edge to find a blue-eye rubbing his head. I think I hit his head with the cannon.

Two blue-eyes jump up onto the seat on either side of me. I kick at one with one of my foot. He slips on the blood and falls off the platform. The other blue eye aims his magic shooter at my neck and blasts a hole in me. It does little to me, and for his troubles I punch him in the face with the tumor fist. His head dissipates into a cloud of blood and brain.

With the attacks on me going on, I somehow point the cannon towards the golden airship. While my one eye is still regenerating, I can only aim with the other surviving eye. I still need to fine tune the cannon to get it right on target, and I’m not quite sure if I’m close. The constant barrage from the pegasi isn’t helping things!

“BRAUMP, BRAUMP, BRAUMP!”

SHIT!

The eleventh hour is past. Midnight has struck! I smash the big red button with the tumor fist, and it obliterates the entire control panel. For split second, I fear that I just destroyed my only chances of rescuing Rainbow, up until another “BRAUMP” erupts from the business end of my tube.

I super jump out of the seat and off the edge of the roof. My wings spread out and catch air high above the streets of Manehattan just as my cannon explodes in a great, big, magical fireball. Sweet mercy, I’m cutting things close!

The explosion's boom rolls over my wings. The spectacular death of my own cannon doesn’t concern me. I look over at the golden airship. It's still flying away. My gut clenches up. I’m not too sure I aimed that thing right.

There’s a few seconds when nothing happens. The airship continues on it original course, riding for the night sky. When it all seems too quiet, and the only thing I hear is the wind rushing through my feathers, the distant airship lights up the dark with an explosion. In the same instant, the airship erupts into a giant fireball, and it comes crashing down over the sleeping city.

I clap my claws and cheer. Yes! Fucking yes! That airship is going nowhere! Suck it Backwatch, you’re not taking away Rainbow tonight!

My wings angle to the side, and I turn my glide towards the downed blimp. At some point I’m going to stop gliding and drop like a rock, but that’s okay. I can run the rest of the way. My monster speed can outrun everything Blackwatch has, except their airships. I just need to keep pace with those.

Here I come, Rainbow Dash! I said I’ll get you out, and I’m going to do just that!

Or I might have just blown you to smithereens…