“Twilight, have you ever had sex?”

The mare in question was, at the moment, levitating a cup of tea to her mouth, mid-sip as she realised what was being asked. It took her quite a bit of effort to not drop the teacup then and there. With a choked gasp, she struggled to keep the teacup afloat, expending much more effort than she would have been willing to admit. Still, she was able to finish the sip and swallow, setting the cup down on the kitchen table in Carousel Boutique before taking a deep breath and sitting there with her eyes closed for several seconds.

“What?” Twilight finally said, opening her eyes.

Rarity blinked and set her own teacup down on the table as well. “You know, sex. I don’t think it was an unclear question.”

Twilight’s brow furrowed. “I just... I don’t... What?!”

Rarity giggled. “Come now, it’s but a simple query. For example, if you had asked me whether I have ever had sex, I would have replied with ‘Why yes, a thousand times yes. Why do you ask?’”

“I mean, I guess I’m curious about why you’re asking,” Twilight replied, her cheeks clearly reddened. She shifted uncomfortably on her seat cushion. “That’s kind of a personal question, don’t you think?”

Rarity nodded. “I suppose it is personal, yes, and I shall not fault you if you choose not to answer.” She took another sip of her tea.

“Th-thanks,” Twilight stammered. She looked down at her tea, as if considering copying the mare across from her, but she remained immobile. “But really, why do you ask?”

“Oh, no reason,” Rarity singsonged, flashing the alicorn a fake smile.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Let me guess—you’re not going to tell me unless I tell you whether or not I’ve had... sex.” She said that last word with a stiff inflection, suggesting it wasn’t one she was quite accustomed to saying.

Rarity merely winked in response and took another sip of her tea. With nothing more said, the conversation appeared to have petered out as both mares merely sat there, gazing at each other. Rarity looked away, turning towards the window, peering between the curtains that were tied open on either side. A few moments passed in silence.

“No,” Twilight finally said.

Rarity turned back to face her. “‘No’ what, darling?”

Twilight’s blush returned. “No, I haven’t had sex,” she sheepishly admitted. “You know as well as anypony that I haven’t even had a boyfriend. Or girlfriend.”

“Well, you know, that isn’t strictly necessary,” Rarity said with a wry smile that just left Twilight’s cheeks even redder. “But I digress. That’s nothing to be ashamed about, Twilight. Nor would it be anything for you to be ashamed about if you had.”

“I-I know,” Twilight stammered. “I’m just... not very used to talking about it. Outside of scientific or medical contexts, of course,” she hastily added.

“But of course,” Rarity said, her tone soothing. She lifted her teacup to her mouth to take another sip, but was surprised to find the china basin dry as a bone. “Excuse me for a moment—I seem to have run out of tea,” she remarked. Teacup still levitating next to her, the mare stood up and sauntered over to where the teakettle sat on the stovetop.

As Rarity poured herself another cup, she heard Twilight’s voice from behind her. “So, now that I’ve answered your question, could you tell me why you were even asking it in the first place?”

Rarity nodded, trotting back with her full cup of tea in tow. “I’ve been doing quite a bit of thinking, and I supposed that I might as well ask my very best friends about it.”

“Thinking about what? Sex?”

“No, fashion,” Rarity shot back, rolling her eyes. "Honestly, whatever else would it be? Is that not something you think about?”

“Um... no, not exactly,” Twilight replied, looking down at her cup, which sat half-full on the table. She hadn’t taken a sip since the whole conversation had started. “It just doesn’t come up.”

“Doesn’t come up?” Rarity asked, aghast. “Celestia, I wish I could have merely an instant where I could stop thinking of sex!” She tilted her head. “Actually, wait, no—I wouldn’t give it up for the world.”

Twilight blinked. “Seriously? You’re always thinking about sex?”

“But of course! Even a lady such as myself, while not generally speaking of such things out loud in polite company, cannot help but think of such matters.”

Twilight sighed. “Rarity, sometimes I don’t get you.”

The white mare merely smiled. “I know, I know—you think this is unbecoming of me.”

“Not... exactly,” Twilight replied, cautious. “I guess I just don’t understand it.”

“That is alright.” Another sip. “We as friends should be content in having our differences, you know.”

Nodding, Twilight looked up at the mare. “So, about what you said before…”

Rarity’s eyes lit up. “Yes? What about it?”

Twilight shifted uncomfortably. “You said your answer about whether you’ve had sex would be ‘Yes, a thousand times yes.’”

Rarity nodded. “And what about that?”

“Well... um... is that... literal?” Twilight blushed, looking down once more.

Rarity let out a rather unladylike giggle. “Excuse me—this should only take a moment.” She stepped away and up the stairs, leaving Twilight alone at the table to listen as her hoofsteps softly resounded above.

After a moment’s solitude, Twilight reached out with her magic and picked the teacup back up. She took a sip. Her tea was cold—well, room temperature, really, but still not optimal—and she suddenly found herself regretting that she hadn’t drank more before then. Silently, she cursed her nervous, tumultuous stomach.

It wasn’t long before she heard Rarity’s steps once more, this time much quicker than before. Once Rarity came into view, Twilight could see what had excited her: a small journal with a blue cover that, as Rarity appeared, she set on the table. Smiling, Rarity gestured for Twilight to open it, and the alicorn obliged, staring back at Rarity with a confused look.

The pages of the book were weathered and old, browning at the edges yet, at the same time, obviously well-kept. There were two columns on the page, clearly divided and corresponding to one another. The one on the left held dates in black ink, starting with 990/12/24 and increasing after that, fairly spread out in time until the bottom of the page where some were just a few days apart, one after the other, or even repeated. The right column held a series of initials; the first several entries were all just ‘C.L.’ in red ink and then a few ‘B.F.’s in red ink and a few ‘B.B.’s in blue ink. From there, there was a mix of initials familiar and unfamiliar. Twilight flipped a few pages and then to the middle of the book. Dozens upon dozens of entries lay before her—some red, some blue, some even in purple or green. There was another spot or two where the initials on all entries would be the same for a page or two, before returning to the same random mix. Some entries even had two or three different sets of initials.

Even though it was obvious she really already knew the answer, Twilight looked up from the book, turned to Rarity—who now sat across from her at the table—and asked, “What is this a list of?”

Rarity smirked. “My, ah... how would you put it?”

“‘Sexual conquests’?” Twilight guessed flatly.

“Eh, something like that. Perhaps not the words I would have used, but it’ll do.” Rarity took a sip from her tea. “I expected you to be impressed, to be honest; I know how much you love your lists and organisation.”

“Well, I do appreciate how... meticulously you’ve kept track,” Twilight said cautiously, looking back down at the book. “I guess I’m just still surprised about how... nonchalant you’re being about all this.”

“Twilight, darling, I am only nonchalant because I find the subject unconcerning,” Rarity replied. “I’ve had so much sex that you could fill a book with it. What’s in front of you is a testament to that.” The mare leaned forward, peering at the page Twilight had the book open to. “Ah, that October was a good month. See, there,” she said, gesturing towards an entry at the top of the page. “On Nightmare Night a few years ago, I bedded Spitfire, of all ponies, and she was fabulous.”

Twilight did a double take. “Rarity, that was my first Nightmare Night in Ponyville! You told us you were busy working on a project from…” She blinked. “...out of town.”

Rarity let loose another giggle. “Honestly, Twilight, I would have loved to have been there, but it was an opportunity I simply couldn’t pass up! I ran into her the week before on a trip to Canterlot and that, alas, was the only night she was free.”

Twilight facehoofed. “I don’t even... I don’t... ugh.” She looked up at Rarity, who was still smirking. “Why me?”

“Excuse me?”

“Why are you telling this to me? Why not another one of our friends? Why not any of your... partners?”

Rarity’s expression straightened. “I will be asking the rest of our friends this, actually; I’m curious what they will have to say as well. Though you’re right; I did choose you first for a reason and that is because, as analytical as you are, I was hoping that you would appreciate the lengths I’ve gone to in keeping track. Plus, of course, I didn’t know anything about your, ah, sexual habits, as it were... so I figured that you’d be a good place to start.”

Lips pursed, Twilight nodded slowly. “But that doesn’t explain why you’re asking. Why are you trying to find out about our sex lives? Er, or in my case, the lack thereof.”

Rarity took a moment to reply, magically swirling her tea around in a circle and watching as the wave of liquid sloshed against the curved china walls. “Something has changed.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

Rarity gestured towards the book. “Look at the last page I’ve written on.”

Twilight did as she was told, magically flipping through a few pages before she came across a blank one. She stopped there, looking at the page opposite that went about two-thirds of the way down before the entries stopped. She gazed at the strokes of ink for a moment before looking back up at Rarity. “What am I supposed to be seeing?”

“The dates, darling. Look at the dates.” Rarity took a sip of her tea.

Twilight looked back at the dates, noting that they were now weeks, rather than days, apart. And then the last entry, one ‘F.P.’ in blue ink, was more than four months before the present day, the longest gap since an entry that Twilight had seen since the very first page of the book. She looked up. “What happened? Did he hurt you?”

“Well, no… though he did cause me to hurt somepony else, and to do some self-reflecting. But no. After that, I just decided I felt... unsatisfied.”

“What, are you tired of having sex?” Twilight asked. “Because, Rarity, it’s perfectly fine for your feelings to change. You don’t have to have sex if you don’t want to, and it looks like that’s what you’ve been doing, so good on you.” She offered a smile.

And Rarity frowned. “That’s just the thing; I’m not tired of having sex. Far from it, actually—my body cries foul to me every night that I don’t bring somepony home or go home with somepony else. These last few months have killed me, and I cannot tell you how much I’ve had to take care of my own... needs, for fear of sounding over the top.”

“You, over the top? Never,” Twilight deadpanned. “But I still don’t get it; if not having sex hurts you so much—and that I still don’t understand, but I’ll just assume that’s a thing—then why don’t you just have sex? I’m sure you can find somepony.”

“Because... because...” She paused, taking a deep breath for effect. “Because I have feelings for somepony, dammit!” Rarity finally exclaimed, her teacup jittering in the air as her attention wavered. Although they hadn’t been throughout the whole conversation, Rarity’s cheeks had suddenly grown quite rosy.

“Well, if you’re so good at getting ponies to have sex with you, why don’t you just ask them to have sex with you?” Twilight asked.

Rarity scoffed. “Twilight, I assure you, this mare is worth much more than just a cheap screw! If it were just her body I wanted, then sure, I would just ask. Yet I also... I also want her heart.”

Twilight blinked. “So, let me get this straight. You’ve been having tons and tons of casual sex for so long that you don’t know what to do now that you’re having romantic feelings for somepony?”

Rarity paused... and then nodded. “That actually sums it up rather nicely. It’s strange... I crave sex with other ponies yet at the same time it feels almost wrong. Like I’m betraying her or something.”

“Oh, Rarity, I’m sure it’s not that big a deal,” Twilight said, reaching a hoof out to reassure the mare.

Rarity sighed. “You were just decrying my degeneracy moments ago, and now you’re being so understanding…”

“I wouldn’t be that good a scientist if I couldn’t quickly adapt to new information,” Twilight countered. “This pony... she doesn’t know you like her yet, does she?”

Rarity shook her head. “It’s one thing asking somepony if they want to have sex—that’s practically the most natural thing in the world. But to ask somepony if you can share with them your heart, your love, your desires? Just the thought makes me queasy!” Her voice, wavering, trailed off.

“I’m not sure what to tell you, Rarity. To be frank, I’ve never had to deal with anything like this before, and I really don’t get why you think I could help.” Twilight sighed and took a sip of her tea. “I just don’t know.” The conversation lapsed into a temporary bout of silence. They each sipped their tea.

Rarity, who had closed her eyes, opened them. “It’s one of the six of us, you know.” She stated this out loud, matter-of-factly, with no indication that she was looking for a reply. Still, Twilight couldn’t help but give one.

“I notice that you don’t rule out yourself,” she remarked.

Rarity merely smirked. “What can I say? A fabulous lady such as myself deserves only the best, after all.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “And then, of course, you haven’t ruled me out.” She blushed as she spoke. “N-not that—”

“Twilight,” Rarity whispered, leaning forward across the table. Her eyes half-lidded, the mare bit her lip in a suggestive manner. “I was wondering if perhaps you could be a dear and f—”

“R-Rarity!” Twilight exclaimed, jumping back in shock. “I don’t—I’m not—I’m sorry! I’m just not interested!”

Rarity seemed to have given up any pretense of her ladylike countenance, straight up guffawing at the blushy, flustered mare that was in the process of pouting across the table. “Twilight,” she finally managed, wiping away a tear of laughter from her cheek, “I’m sure you’re a lovely mare, but I fear I must decline. My heart has been stolen by... another.”

“I wasn’t offering anything,” Twilight fumed. “I don’t even like other ponies like that, so why would I?”

Rarity stopped with her laughter and gave the annoyed mare an odd look. “Oh, is that so?”

“Yes!” Twilight said emphatically. “Celestia above, I feel like I’ve been trying to tell you that for the last ten minutes! I’m asexual, aromantic, a-whatever—I just don’t care about that stuff.”

“Oh, darling, why didn’t you say so? That would have saved us so much awkwardness,” Rarity said, looking almost regretful. “Truly my sex life is a wonder to behold, but I really did not mean to bog you down with such things if they really make you uncomfortable like that. I only assumed—and rather unfairly, if I do say so myself—that you were merely shy about the whole thing due to your parents or something like that. Celestia knows that most ponies are, until you get talking about it at least.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Twilight reassured her, waving a hoof. “I might not want to do those... things with another pony, but I really don’t mind hearing about all this, especially since you’re not going into detail. Really, it’s quite fascinating once you get past the icky parts.”

“Well, still, I thank you for listening to my ramblings, darling.” Rarity yawned and looked to her left at the window, where she saw the sun hanging low in the sky, casting orangey-pink hues all along the cusp of the atmosphere. “My, it’s getting late. You’ll probably need to be getting back to the castle, won’t you?”

Twilight looked out the window and nodded. “Starlight and Spike have been working on reorganising the music section of the library while I’m here. I do trust the both of them, but I’m also pretty sure that if something could’ve gone wrong, it will have. And there’s a lot of things that could go wrong.”

Rarity nodded. “It’s been great seeing you, darling, and this was a wonderful chat. Same time next week?”

Twilight stood up, stretching her legs. “I’ll check my schedule. I should be free then, but I’ll have Spike let you know if I’m busy.” The mare paused. “Wait, Rarity?”

“Yes?”

Twilight bit her lip, avoiding Rarity’s gaze. “I don’t mean to accuse you or anything, and I hope the answer is no, but…”

“Twilight, I can assure you, Spike is not in my book. Nor will he ever be.”

The alicorn let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

“Of course, darling. He’s much too young, and I have no interest in him, regardless.” Rarity stood up as well, magically lifting both teacups and sending them soaring across the room and gently into the sink.

Twilight was already halfway across the room when Rarity looked back, but the alicorn had stopped trotting for some reason, a curious look on her face. “Oh, and Rarity?”

“Yes, darling?”

“If it’s not you, and it’s not me... who do you have a crush on?”

Rarity blushed. “I’m... not quite ready to divulge that, I’m afraid.”

Twilight smiled warmly. “No problem. I’m just curious, that’s all.”

“I know, Twilight.” Rarity paused to compose herself. “Let me just say... you should find out within the week. I shan’t keep you—or her—waiting long; I doubt this romantic heart of mine could take it.”

Twilight’s smile turned into a full on smirk. “I can’t pretend to understand you, but I really wish the best for you.”

“And I you,” Rarity said, returning the smile. “Adieu.”

Twilight gave a little nod before she trotted away, out of view. A minute later, Rarity could hear the bell at the door as it opened and then closed, leaving the mare in her workplace and home, alone save for the churning, whirling mass of thoughts swimming around inside of her. Rarity returned to her seat at the table, leaned back, and sighed.

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