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Let’s Talk About Sex!

by fourths


Chapters


I

“Twilight, have you ever had sex?”

The mare in question was, at the moment, levitating a cup of tea to her mouth, mid-sip as she realised what was being asked. It took her quite a bit of effort to not drop the teacup then and there. With a choked gasp, she struggled to keep the teacup afloat, expending much more effort than she would have been willing to admit. Still, she was able to finish the sip and swallow, setting the cup down on the kitchen table in Carousel Boutique before taking a deep breath and sitting there with her eyes closed for several seconds.

“What?” Twilight finally said, opening her eyes.

Rarity blinked and set her own teacup down on the table as well. “You know, sex. I don’t think it was an unclear question.”

Twilight’s brow furrowed. “I just... I don’t... What?!”

Rarity giggled. “Come now, it’s but a simple query. For example, if you had asked me whether I have ever had sex, I would have replied with ‘Why yes, a thousand times yes. Why do you ask?’”

“I mean, I guess I’m curious about why you’re asking,” Twilight replied, her cheeks clearly reddened. She shifted uncomfortably on her seat cushion. “That’s kind of a personal question, don’t you think?”

Rarity nodded. “I suppose it is personal, yes, and I shall not fault you if you choose not to answer.” She took another sip of her tea.

“Th-thanks,” Twilight stammered. She looked down at her tea, as if considering copying the mare across from her, but she remained immobile. “But really, why do you ask?”

“Oh, no reason,” Rarity singsonged, flashing the alicorn a fake smile.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Let me guess—you’re not going to tell me unless I tell you whether or not I’ve had... sex.” She said that last word with a stiff inflection, suggesting it wasn’t one she was quite accustomed to saying.

Rarity merely winked in response and took another sip of her tea. With nothing more said, the conversation appeared to have petered out as both mares merely sat there, gazing at each other. Rarity looked away, turning towards the window, peering between the curtains that were tied open on either side. A few moments passed in silence.

“No,” Twilight finally said.

Rarity turned back to face her. “‘No’ what, darling?”

Twilight’s blush returned. “No, I haven’t had sex,” she sheepishly admitted. “You know as well as anypony that I haven’t even had a boyfriend. Or girlfriend.”

“Well, you know, that isn’t strictly necessary,” Rarity said with a wry smile that just left Twilight’s cheeks even redder. “But I digress. That’s nothing to be ashamed about, Twilight. Nor would it be anything for you to be ashamed about if you had.”

“I-I know,” Twilight stammered. “I’m just... not very used to talking about it. Outside of scientific or medical contexts, of course,” she hastily added.

“But of course,” Rarity said, her tone soothing. She lifted her teacup to her mouth to take another sip, but was surprised to find the china basin dry as a bone. “Excuse me for a moment—I seem to have run out of tea,” she remarked. Teacup still levitating next to her, the mare stood up and sauntered over to where the teakettle sat on the stovetop.

As Rarity poured herself another cup, she heard Twilight’s voice from behind her. “So, now that I’ve answered your question, could you tell me why you were even asking it in the first place?”

Rarity nodded, trotting back with her full cup of tea in tow. “I’ve been doing quite a bit of thinking, and I supposed that I might as well ask my very best friends about it.”

“Thinking about what? Sex?”

“No, fashion,” Rarity shot back, rolling her eyes. "Honestly, whatever else would it be? Is that not something you think about?”

“Um... no, not exactly,” Twilight replied, looking down at her cup, which sat half-full on the table. She hadn’t taken a sip since the whole conversation had started. “It just doesn’t come up.”

“Doesn’t come up?” Rarity asked, aghast. “Celestia, I wish I could have merely an instant where I could stop thinking of sex!” She tilted her head. “Actually, wait, no—I wouldn’t give it up for the world.”

Twilight blinked. “Seriously? You’re always thinking about sex?”

“But of course! Even a lady such as myself, while not generally speaking of such things out loud in polite company, cannot help but think of such matters.”

Twilight sighed. “Rarity, sometimes I don’t get you.”

The white mare merely smiled. “I know, I know—you think this is unbecoming of me.”

“Not... exactly,” Twilight replied, cautious. “I guess I just don’t understand it.”

“That is alright.” Another sip. “We as friends should be content in having our differences, you know.”

Nodding, Twilight looked up at the mare. “So, about what you said before…”

Rarity’s eyes lit up. “Yes? What about it?”

Twilight shifted uncomfortably. “You said your answer about whether you’ve had sex would be ‘Yes, a thousand times yes.’”

Rarity nodded. “And what about that?”

“Well... um... is that... literal?” Twilight blushed, looking down once more.

Rarity let out a rather unladylike giggle. “Excuse me—this should only take a moment.” She stepped away and up the stairs, leaving Twilight alone at the table to listen as her hoofsteps softly resounded above.

After a moment’s solitude, Twilight reached out with her magic and picked the teacup back up. She took a sip. Her tea was cold—well, room temperature, really, but still not optimal—and she suddenly found herself regretting that she hadn’t drank more before then. Silently, she cursed her nervous, tumultuous stomach.

It wasn’t long before she heard Rarity’s steps once more, this time much quicker than before. Once Rarity came into view, Twilight could see what had excited her: a small journal with a blue cover that, as Rarity appeared, she set on the table. Smiling, Rarity gestured for Twilight to open it, and the alicorn obliged, staring back at Rarity with a confused look.

The pages of the book were weathered and old, browning at the edges yet, at the same time, obviously well-kept. There were two columns on the page, clearly divided and corresponding to one another. The one on the left held dates in black ink, starting with 990/12/24 and increasing after that, fairly spread out in time until the bottom of the page where some were just a few days apart, one after the other, or even repeated. The right column held a series of initials; the first several entries were all just ‘C.L.’ in red ink and then a few ‘B.F.’s in red ink and a few ‘B.B.’s in blue ink. From there, there was a mix of initials familiar and unfamiliar. Twilight flipped a few pages and then to the middle of the book. Dozens upon dozens of entries lay before her—some red, some blue, some even in purple or green. There was another spot or two where the initials on all entries would be the same for a page or two, before returning to the same random mix. Some entries even had two or three different sets of initials.

Even though it was obvious she really already knew the answer, Twilight looked up from the book, turned to Rarity—who now sat across from her at the table—and asked, “What is this a list of?”

Rarity smirked. “My, ah... how would you put it?”

“‘Sexual conquests’?” Twilight guessed flatly.

“Eh, something like that. Perhaps not the words I would have used, but it’ll do.” Rarity took a sip from her tea. “I expected you to be impressed, to be honest; I know how much you love your lists and organisation.”

“Well, I do appreciate how... meticulously you’ve kept track,” Twilight said cautiously, looking back down at the book. “I guess I’m just still surprised about how... nonchalant you’re being about all this.”

“Twilight, darling, I am only nonchalant because I find the subject unconcerning,” Rarity replied. “I’ve had so much sex that you could fill a book with it. What’s in front of you is a testament to that.” The mare leaned forward, peering at the page Twilight had the book open to. “Ah, that October was a good month. See, there,” she said, gesturing towards an entry at the top of the page. “On Nightmare Night a few years ago, I bedded Spitfire, of all ponies, and she was fabulous.”

Twilight did a double take. “Rarity, that was my first Nightmare Night in Ponyville! You told us you were busy working on a project from…” She blinked. “...out of town.”

Rarity let loose another giggle. “Honestly, Twilight, I would have loved to have been there, but it was an opportunity I simply couldn’t pass up! I ran into her the week before on a trip to Canterlot and that, alas, was the only night she was free.”

Twilight facehoofed. “I don’t even... I don’t... ugh.” She looked up at Rarity, who was still smirking. “Why me?”

“Excuse me?”

“Why are you telling this to me? Why not another one of our friends? Why not any of your... partners?”

Rarity’s expression straightened. “I will be asking the rest of our friends this, actually; I’m curious what they will have to say as well. Though you’re right; I did choose you first for a reason and that is because, as analytical as you are, I was hoping that you would appreciate the lengths I’ve gone to in keeping track. Plus, of course, I didn’t know anything about your, ah, sexual habits, as it were... so I figured that you’d be a good place to start.”

Lips pursed, Twilight nodded slowly. “But that doesn’t explain why you’re asking. Why are you trying to find out about our sex lives? Er, or in my case, the lack thereof.”

Rarity took a moment to reply, magically swirling her tea around in a circle and watching as the wave of liquid sloshed against the curved china walls. “Something has changed.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

Rarity gestured towards the book. “Look at the last page I’ve written on.”

Twilight did as she was told, magically flipping through a few pages before she came across a blank one. She stopped there, looking at the page opposite that went about two-thirds of the way down before the entries stopped. She gazed at the strokes of ink for a moment before looking back up at Rarity. “What am I supposed to be seeing?”

“The dates, darling. Look at the dates.” Rarity took a sip of her tea.

Twilight looked back at the dates, noting that they were now weeks, rather than days, apart. And then the last entry, one ‘F.P.’ in blue ink, was more than four months before the present day, the longest gap since an entry that Twilight had seen since the very first page of the book. She looked up. “What happened? Did he hurt you?”

“Well, no… though he did cause me to hurt somepony else, and to do some self-reflecting. But no. After that, I just decided I felt... unsatisfied.”

“What, are you tired of having sex?” Twilight asked. “Because, Rarity, it’s perfectly fine for your feelings to change. You don’t have to have sex if you don’t want to, and it looks like that’s what you’ve been doing, so good on you.” She offered a smile.

And Rarity frowned. “That’s just the thing; I’m not tired of having sex. Far from it, actually—my body cries foul to me every night that I don’t bring somepony home or go home with somepony else. These last few months have killed me, and I cannot tell you how much I’ve had to take care of my own... needs, for fear of sounding over the top.”

“You, over the top? Never,” Twilight deadpanned. “But I still don’t get it; if not having sex hurts you so much—and that I still don’t understand, but I’ll just assume that’s a thing—then why don’t you just have sex? I’m sure you can find somepony.”

“Because... because...” She paused, taking a deep breath for effect. “Because I have feelings for somepony, dammit!” Rarity finally exclaimed, her teacup jittering in the air as her attention wavered. Although they hadn’t been throughout the whole conversation, Rarity’s cheeks had suddenly grown quite rosy.

“Well, if you’re so good at getting ponies to have sex with you, why don’t you just ask them to have sex with you?” Twilight asked.

Rarity scoffed. “Twilight, I assure you, this mare is worth much more than just a cheap screw! If it were just her body I wanted, then sure, I would just ask. Yet I also... I also want her heart.”

Twilight blinked. “So, let me get this straight. You’ve been having tons and tons of casual sex for so long that you don’t know what to do now that you’re having romantic feelings for somepony?”

Rarity paused... and then nodded. “That actually sums it up rather nicely. It’s strange... I crave sex with other ponies yet at the same time it feels almost wrong. Like I’m betraying her or something.”

“Oh, Rarity, I’m sure it’s not that big a deal,” Twilight said, reaching a hoof out to reassure the mare.

Rarity sighed. “You were just decrying my degeneracy moments ago, and now you’re being so understanding…”

“I wouldn’t be that good a scientist if I couldn’t quickly adapt to new information,” Twilight countered. “This pony... she doesn’t know you like her yet, does she?”

Rarity shook her head. “It’s one thing asking somepony if they want to have sex—that’s practically the most natural thing in the world. But to ask somepony if you can share with them your heart, your love, your desires? Just the thought makes me queasy!” Her voice, wavering, trailed off.

“I’m not sure what to tell you, Rarity. To be frank, I’ve never had to deal with anything like this before, and I really don’t get why you think I could help.” Twilight sighed and took a sip of her tea. “I just don’t know.” The conversation lapsed into a temporary bout of silence. They each sipped their tea.

Rarity, who had closed her eyes, opened them. “It’s one of the six of us, you know.” She stated this out loud, matter-of-factly, with no indication that she was looking for a reply. Still, Twilight couldn’t help but give one.

“I notice that you don’t rule out yourself,” she remarked.

Rarity merely smirked. “What can I say? A fabulous lady such as myself deserves only the best, after all.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “And then, of course, you haven’t ruled me out.” She blushed as she spoke. “N-not that—”

“Twilight,” Rarity whispered, leaning forward across the table. Her eyes half-lidded, the mare bit her lip in a suggestive manner. “I was wondering if perhaps you could be a dear and f—”

“R-Rarity!” Twilight exclaimed, jumping back in shock. “I don’t—I’m not—I’m sorry! I’m just not interested!”

Rarity seemed to have given up any pretense of her ladylike countenance, straight up guffawing at the blushy, flustered mare that was in the process of pouting across the table. “Twilight,” she finally managed, wiping away a tear of laughter from her cheek, “I’m sure you’re a lovely mare, but I fear I must decline. My heart has been stolen by... another.”

“I wasn’t offering anything,” Twilight fumed. “I don’t even like other ponies like that, so why would I?”

Rarity stopped with her laughter and gave the annoyed mare an odd look. “Oh, is that so?”

“Yes!” Twilight said emphatically. “Celestia above, I feel like I’ve been trying to tell you that for the last ten minutes! I’m asexual, aromantic, a-whatever—I just don’t care about that stuff.”

“Oh, darling, why didn’t you say so? That would have saved us so much awkwardness,” Rarity said, looking almost regretful. “Truly my sex life is a wonder to behold, but I really did not mean to bog you down with such things if they really make you uncomfortable like that. I only assumed—and rather unfairly, if I do say so myself—that you were merely shy about the whole thing due to your parents or something like that. Celestia knows that most ponies are, until you get talking about it at least.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Twilight reassured her, waving a hoof. “I might not want to do those... things with another pony, but I really don’t mind hearing about all this, especially since you’re not going into detail. Really, it’s quite fascinating once you get past the icky parts.”

“Well, still, I thank you for listening to my ramblings, darling.” Rarity yawned and looked to her left at the window, where she saw the sun hanging low in the sky, casting orangey-pink hues all along the cusp of the atmosphere. “My, it’s getting late. You’ll probably need to be getting back to the castle, won’t you?”

Twilight looked out the window and nodded. “Starlight and Spike have been working on reorganising the music section of the library while I’m here. I do trust the both of them, but I’m also pretty sure that if something could’ve gone wrong, it will have. And there’s a lot of things that could go wrong.”

Rarity nodded. “It’s been great seeing you, darling, and this was a wonderful chat. Same time next week?”

Twilight stood up, stretching her legs. “I’ll check my schedule. I should be free then, but I’ll have Spike let you know if I’m busy.” The mare paused. “Wait, Rarity?”

“Yes?”

Twilight bit her lip, avoiding Rarity’s gaze. “I don’t mean to accuse you or anything, and I hope the answer is no, but…”

“Twilight, I can assure you, Spike is not in my book. Nor will he ever be.”

The alicorn let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

“Of course, darling. He’s much too young, and I have no interest in him, regardless.” Rarity stood up as well, magically lifting both teacups and sending them soaring across the room and gently into the sink.

Twilight was already halfway across the room when Rarity looked back, but the alicorn had stopped trotting for some reason, a curious look on her face. “Oh, and Rarity?”

“Yes, darling?”

“If it’s not you, and it’s not me... who do you have a crush on?”

Rarity blushed. “I’m... not quite ready to divulge that, I’m afraid.”

Twilight smiled warmly. “No problem. I’m just curious, that’s all.”

“I know, Twilight.” Rarity paused to compose herself. “Let me just say... you should find out within the week. I shan’t keep you—or her—waiting long; I doubt this romantic heart of mine could take it.”

Twilight’s smile turned into a full on smirk. “I can’t pretend to understand you, but I really wish the best for you.”

“And I you,” Rarity said, returning the smile. “Adieu.”

Twilight gave a little nod before she trotted away, out of view. A minute later, Rarity could hear the bell at the door as it opened and then closed, leaving the mare in her workplace and home, alone save for the churning, whirling mass of thoughts swimming around inside of her. Rarity returned to her seat at the table, leaned back, and sighed.

II

“Mmm, it really is delightful in here,” Rarity said, leaning back against the curved wooden wall with her eyes closed, a content expression across her face. “I’m so glad you were available this week, darling; it was a shame you were so busy that we had to cancel our last spa date.”

“Well, you know how duty calls,” Fluttershy replied softly. “I got that letter about a family of beavers up by the Delamare River, and I had to make sure they were going to be okay, what with the construction going on over there.” She attempted to adjust the uncooperative towel in her mane for a moment before giving up with a sigh, letting the pink strands of hair flutter daintily down to the floor. “Oh, Rarity, I don’t know how you do it with the towel... with my long mane, it’s such a hassle.”

The unicorn smiled warmly. “Simply a matter of personal preference, darling, and in your case it’s hardly necessary—I’ve just become accustomed to the warmth, I think. But if you do not like it, then think nothing of it.”

“Right, right,” Fluttershy replied, shifting into a comfortable position once she had set the towel aside. “So, what have you been up to this week? Or last week?”

Rarity took a moment to reply, and she opened her eyes when she did. “Mostly thinking, darling. Working a tad here and there as I get orders and such, but thinking is mostly what I find myself up to these days.”

“Oh my,” Fluttershy replied. “Thinking about what?” She paused upon seeing Rarity’s mischievous grin. “Sex?”

Rarity smiled. “Darling, whatever else would I think about? I mean, it’s practically all we talk about.”

“Well,” Fluttershy started, smiling ever so slightly, “it has been a while since we’ve talked about that. I’m sure you could have found something else.”

“Perish the thought!” Rarity exclaimed. “The day that I stop thinking about sex is the day that I am no longer a lady!”

“Oh, Rarity, there are plenty of ways to be a lady without thinking about sex. Take me for example. I—”

“Oh?” Rarity said suddenly, sitting up straighter, looking Fluttershy in the eye with a mischievous grin. “Do you really not think about sex either?”

Fluttershy blushed. “Rarity, you know I don’t really like to talk about—” She blinked. “Wait, either?”

Rarity gave her a sheepish look. “I may or may not be doing a survey, darling. Just asking about our friends’ sexual habits and trivial things like that.”

Fluttershy’s face grew even more red. “And let me guess, you didn’t know the pony you were talking to doesn’t think about sex and you started telling her all about your... um...”

Rarity grinned. “‘Sexcapades’?”

Fluttershy nodded, stifling a snicker. “Just because I find them... fascinating... doesn’t mean everypony will.”

“I know that, darling. I just thought that—oh, wait, did I even ever finish telling you about the last one, about four months ago?”

Fluttershy shook her head. “I remember you mentioned something about Fancy Pants, but I think that was before you... did the deed.”

“Well, as you know, I stayed with him at his home in Canterlot, both for business but also because he told me he was divorcing his wife, and that we could have a bit of fun. And at first he was absolutely wonderful—one of the best I’d had in months.”

“He does seem like he would be... nice,” Fluttershy commented, her cheeks rosy.

“Quite. But afterwards, as we were just laying there in bed, he just started bawling.” Rarity frowned. “Which, mind you, isn’t the most attractive thing in the world, but he’s always been a good friend so I had no issue with being there to comfort him. But he…” She paused. “He told me the truth, that he’d lied to me. There was no divorce, and he had just made that up to get me to screw him.” She sighed, adjusting her bathrobe. “Of course, I’m sure there’ll be a divorce now—Fleur knows, and we had an... odd confrontation. It left an awful taste in my mouth, for sure, and I came home the next morning.” She looked down at her hooves, tracing a curve on the wooden floorboards.

“Oh my!” Fluttershy exclaimed, taken aback. “That sounds just awful... I can’t imagine…”

Rarity looked up. “Mm, yes. It’s… something I’m not proud to have been involved with, for certain. Though it’s not the reason why I’ve stopped having sex, it still… has left an impact.”

Fluttershy slowly nodded. “Well, I definitely understand why you wouldn’t want to have sex right after that.”

Rarity opened her mouth and very nearly objected, but she thought better of it. The pair then sat in silence for a few moments.

“That many months, though,” Fluttershy murmured. “Wow…”

Rarity finally smiled, and there was a glint in her eye. “What, you can’t imagine not having sex for so long?” she teased.

Fluttershy giggled. “Rarity, you know full well that’s not what I meant." She paused, taking in the steam for a moment. “Though…”

“‘Though’?!” Rarity said excitedly, nearly lunging forward as if to seize the opportunity her friend had given her. She watched as the yellow pegasus’s features transformed into a sheepish grin, her head withdrawing slightly into her shoulders.

“It’s... nothing,” Fluttershy replied meekly. “Forget I said anything.”

Rarity squinted. “Darling, I know you. If you didn’t want to say anything, you wouldn’t have.” She paused, putting a hoof to her chin. “Does this have anything to do with your recently-publicised relationship with nopony other than—?”

“Yes!” Fluttershy squeaked, hiding her face with her forelegs. “Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, I’m so embarrassed…”

Rarity scooted closer and put a bathrobe-clad foreleg around her friend’s shoulders. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Fluttershy. From what I can tell, you two are absolutely splendid together. And adorable, too.”

“Yes,” Fluttershy said softly, looking down at the floor. “He’s... nice.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Rarity said, pulling Fluttershy in closer against her for a side-hug. “So, then, is there anything... ah... sexual between you two?”

Fluttershy’s cheeks just grew redder and redder. “Rarity, I—I just—I don’t know how to—gah!” Rarity let go of her as the mare trembled where she sat.

“Fluttershy, darling, if it makes you so uncomfortable, you really don’t have to talk about it. Remember how I said I was talking to one of our friends the other day? Well, she—”

“Yes!” Fluttershy exclaimed. “We’ve had sex!”

Rarity blinked. “Oh my.”

“Y-yes…” Fluttershy stammered. “You tell me so much about all of the sex you have and... I just wanted to be able to tell you about me for once. To... return the favour, I guess.”

“Oh, Fluttershy, I really didn’t want you to feel pressured to—”

Fluttershy reached up and put her hoof on Rarity’s lips, shushing the unicorn mid-sentence. “No, I really wanted to tell you. I just had to work up the courage.”

Rarity nodded. “I’m truly honoured to have been let in on this little secret of yours.”

Fluttershy smiled, albeit somewhat sheepishly. “We’re the best of friends, Rarity, and I don’t want there to be secrets between us. Even if they’re... weird.”

“Darling, it’s not weird! I’m just happy for you that you’re finally, ah, ‘getting some’, as it were.”

“Rarity!” Fluttershy exclaimed, scandalised.

“What? We both know how... frustrated you were for so long.”

“I was not,” Fluttershy insisted. She paused. “Okay, maybe just a teensy bit.”

“But that’s all done now, isn’t it?” Rarity inquired. “Now that you know what it’s like, do you like it?”

Fluttershy shrunk. “...Yes,” she murmured.

Rarity smiled warmly. “I’m so glad, dear.”

“I don’t... I don’t even know how to describe it,” Fluttershy continued, still very quietly. “When we’re cuddling and hugging, I feel so small in his hooves—so delicate, yet so protected. We feel close—so very close. But then, when he… you know… enters...” she whispered, “I feel like I’m surrounding him as well, because there’s literally a part of him inside of me. We feel even closer, like we’re starting to become... one. He... completes me.”

Rarity, who until then had been attentively listening, quietly asked, “And you enjoy that?”

“Oh, yes, very much,” Fluttershy answered, still blushing a great deal. “I love him so much, and the closer we can get, the better. Sometimes, I almost wish we really could be the same pony…”

Rarity giggled. “That’s so romantic, darling. Truly, I envy what you and Mac have.”

Fluttershy blinked. “Huh? You do?”

“But of course! Sure, I may have lots—and I mean lots—of sex, but I don’t have that sort of connection with any of those ponies, no matter how delightful they may be. Your relationship transcends all that and more, so how could I not be envious?”

Fluttershy cocked her head. “Rarity, is everything alright?”

The unicorn raised an eyebrow. “Whatever do you mean, darling?”

“It’s just that... your last, erm, ‘sexcapade’ was a few months ago, unless there are others you haven’t told me about.”

“Fluttershy, you know that I tell you about every single one,” Rarity assured her. “Have for years, and I certainly don’t intend to stop now.”

“And now you’ve gone and asked me about my sex life. So, while there’s nothing wrong with not having sex, I guess it just makes me wonder…”

Rarity leaned back, relishing in the softness of her bathrobe as she felt a bead of sweat slide down her forehead. “You’re right, I’ve basically stopped having sex altogether. And it’s not completely because I don’t want to, no—it’s because I have... a crush. On one of our friends, no less.”

Fluttershy gave her an understanding nod. “That would do it. Does she know?”

Rarity shook her head. “I’ve been meaning to tell her, but I haven’t gotten there yet. The... last pony I spoke to suggested that I should just ask her to sleep with me, but that’s... that’s not the only thing I want. Not that that wouldn’t be absolutely delightful…” She swooned.

“I know how hard it can be—believe me, I do—but I think you really just need to tell her,” Fluttershy stated flatly. “Is it—?”

“Ah ah ah,” Rarity said, raising a hoof. “I do apologise, but I’m not ready to talk about who it is just yet.”

“I understand.” Fluttershy paused. “If you really are interested in the romance more than the sex, why don’t you just ask her out?”

“But that’s haaard,” Rarity replied, face turned up in a pout.

“Mmm... you ask ponies to have sex so often, though, and I can’t imagine it’s much different,” Fluttershy remarked.

“You wouldn’t think so, would you? And yet... it most certainly is. Sex is just a primal desire, darling—it’s nothing more than eating or bathing or using the little filly’s room. It’s just something you need to go on. Romance, on the other hoof... is a delicate matter, of the heart.”

“I guess I see where you’re coming from,” Fluttershy replied, “even if I can’t really imagine one without the other. For myself, of course. And my fian—er, my boyfriend.” She blushed even more as she watched Rarity gasp. “Oh my goodness, please don’t tell anyone that; we haven’t told anypony and—”

Rarity gave her a jittery, excited nod and quickly fumbled through the motions of a Pinkie Promise. “Not a word.” She paused, grinning. “But eeeee! That’s so exciting! Do you have a date set?”

“N-not yet, but we’re working on it,” Fluttershy replied meekly. “Our families know, but we’re keeping it quiet for everypony else until next week. But really, don’t let me distract you. What’s on your mind?”

Rarity sighed, leaning back. “I’m just filled with a lot of confusing and contradictory thoughts, myself. I suppose I’m having a hard time connecting the romance and sex, although they feel so innately tied at the same time. And, while I crave sex, I... just can’t bring myself to ask anypony.”

“How come?” Fluttershy asked.

“I’m... not sure. I suppose I’m afraid of the monogamy that such a relationship will most certainly entail, so I’m trying to prepare myself for that.”

“Oh, Rarity... no relationship is worth making yourself suffer for, especially not that much. And not all relationships are monogamous.” Fluttershy offered her friend a warm smile. “You don’t have to change who you are just to fit another pony.”

“Darling, you know as well as I how my previous attempts at relationships worked out,” Rarity whined, lowering her head in a defeated manner. “I just don’t know if I’m cut out for this sort of thing.”

“Of course you are, Rarity,” Fluttershy assured. “No offense, but you really hadn’t come to a mutual understanding with any of your marefriends before those relationships started. It’s not your fault that you just didn’t quite see eye to eye on that.”

“But what if this pony I like doesn’t like that part of me either?” Rarity moaned.

“Then she’s not the right pony for you, and you’ll move on eventually,” Fluttershy said. It was true, of course, and Rarity knew that; she just needed to hear it out loud. “You know, I think it might be helpful if you talked with Pinkie about this.”

Rarity blinked. “Pinkie? I mean, I was already going to talk to her, but why do you suggest her specifically?”

Fluttershy smiled. “She and you have more in common than you might realise, and she was in a similar situation. I think she might have some interesting personal experience that I can’t quite give you.”

Lost in thought, Rarity nodded. “Alright, I shall have to see what she is doing right now. That reminds me... it’s been about time, hasn’t it?”

Fluttershy looked down at her hooves, which were just beginning to form a few wrinkles here and there. “Unless we’d like to become prunes again, I think we should probably go, yes.”

Rarity nodded, stood up, and stretched out her hooves before she made her way over to the door of the steam room. “Thank you so much, darling. It’s always a delight to talk to you, you know. Really helps me get my thoughts in order, and it’s always lovely to hear about how you’re doing.”

“I’m just glad I could help,” Fluttershy replied sweetly as she joined her friend, walking out of the room. Behind them lingered a thick cloud of steam forming small droplets against the walls until that, too, slowly dissipated.

III

Pinkie Pie stood at the counter of Sugarcube Corner, whistling to herself as she wiped down its surface with a wet rag. Every so often, she’d stop and wipe the crumbs off into her outstretched hoof, walking carefully over to the trash can and letting them fall before returning to her work.

It was when she was nearly done that she heard the door creak open, and she realised that she’d forgotten to lock it. Without looking up, she said, “I’m super-duper sorry, but Sugarcube Corner closed about an hour ago. You can come back tomorrow morning, though, and I’ll have plenty of scrumptious—” Pinkie looked up, and her eyes widened. “Oh! Rarity!”

“Good evening, Pinkie,” Rarity said, smiling as she shut the door behind her. “I trust that I am not unwelcome?”

“No, not at all—come right in!” Pinkie exclaimed, grinning. “You’re one of my bestest pals in the whole wide world, so of course you're always welcome in my house!” She blinked. “Or, uh, my employers’ house!”

“You’re sure they won’t mind?” Rarity asked, looking concerned as her head darted from side to side.

“Not at all!” Pinkie replied enthusiastically. “Mr. and Mrs. Cake aren’t even here, ’cause they had a biiiig catering job in Vanhoover and you know how long it takes to get there so they decided to stay overnight! And now I’m in charge of the bakery all through tomorrow until they get back, and also I was supposed to put the twins to bed—which I already did, like, twenty minutes ago, so now I’m doing all the cleaning just so everything’s spick-and-span and I don’t have to deal with that tomorrow morning before opening and I don’t have to get up so ridiiiiculously early!” Pinkie stopped to breathe for air. “As you can see, I'm super on top of things.”

“That’s wonderful, darling,” Rarity said. She had taken a seat at one of the tables next to the front window, though the curtains were closed. “Though if I’m being honest, I lost track of the day and thought it was Friday night, when you’re open later. Are you sure I’m not intruding?”

“Nopey-dopey, it’s totally fine!” came Pinkie’s reply as the mare finished wiping down the last section of the counter. On her way over to the table where Rarity sat, she tossed the balled-up rag through the air and it ricocheted off the wall, dropping neatly into a bin in the back of the store. “Ooh, three points!” Pinkie turned back to Rarity as she pulled out the chair opposite the mare and sat down. “Sooo, what can I do you for?”

Rarity looked at the excited face of the pink party pony in front of her. She marvelled at just how much energy Pinkie had even though it was so late in the day, while she herself felt nearly on the verge of collapse. “I’ve just been thinking a lot, darling, and I was hoping we could have a conversation about something.”

"Ooh, sure," Pinkie replied. “What about?”

“Sex,” Rarity said curtly. “I want to ask you about sex.”

Rarity wasn't sure what she thought was going to happen, but it certainly wasn’t that Pinkie’s eyes would light up as much as they did. “Oh my goodness! I love to talk about sex! What part do you wanna talk about? We could talk about ponies we’ve sexed, or what kinds of techniques work the best, or... or... all sorts of things!”

“That sounds wonderful, darling, though I was hoping we could do it somewhere a little more private,” Rarity said carefully.

“What do you mean?” Pinkie asked, raising an eyebrow. She looked around the room and then back at Rarity. “There's nopony here besides you and me, silly.”

“Yes, that is true, but somepony could just waltz in off the street like I did,” Rarity countered.

Pinkie merely giggled and stood up from her seat, sauntering over to the door and sliding the metal lock across with a click. “There, now nopony can interrupt us. Not that they were gonna, anyway.”

“That’s good, darling, but I still think this conversation might be better for somewhere private, like your bedroom. What if the Cakes come home early?”

Pinkie gave Rarity an odd look, somewhere between a suspicious squint and suggestive eyebrow-waggle. “You really wanna go to the bedroom, huh? To talk about sex?” Pinkie asked rhetorically, leaning in and twisting her neck with a sly grin across her face.

“Uh... yes?” Rarity replied, expression uncertain. “That’s not a problem, is it?”

“Oh, no, not at all!” Pinkie said as she bounced away from the table, moving across the room towards the stairs. Rarity got up to follow her. “It’s just been so long since, well, you know, and I never thought you'd ask again, and now I’m super-duper excited ’cause it was so much fun last time and you were super good and—”

“Pinkie!” Rarity exclaimed in a scolding tone as she stood at the foot of the stairs. “What in Celestia’s great green Equestria are you going on about?”

Pinkie stopped about halfway up the stairs, turning to look at Rarity. “You know, last time?”

Rarity raised an eyebrow. “Let’s just get to your room and we can talk about this without any chance of waking up Pound or Pumpkin Cake.”

“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie replied, continuing to bound up the stairs—somehow soundlessly, without the expected thumps—and then through the darkened hallway above.

Cautiously, Rarity followed; she wouldn’t have admitted it to anypony, but she was mildly afraid of the dark and as such the hallway put her on edge. She didn’t quite let go of a breath she didn’t even realise she was holding until she reached Pinkie’s bedroom and shut the door tight behind her. Once she had shaken the nervousness from her system with a shiver, Rarity turned to face the centre of the room, where Pinkie Pie lay outstretched across the patchwork blue bedspread.

Exposed.

Rarity sighed and raised a hoof to cover her eyes. “Pinkie…”

“Yes, Rarity?” the pink pony replied, tilting her head. “What's up? How come you put a hoof over your eyes? Ooooh, did you wanna put a cute outfit on me so I can dance around and strip it off super sexily? Lemme check in the wardrobe to see if I have something... I know I used to have these really sexy spandex leggings, but you can never really be sure about what Gummy's gonna eat or not…” Pinkie paused as she hopped up from the bed, and Rarity was able to safely lower her hoof.

“No, Pinkie, I don't think that will be necessary,” the unicorn said flatly.

Pinkie turned, raising an eyebrow. “Huh? What do you wanna do, then?”

Rarity sighed. “When I asked you if we could come up here and talk about sex in your bedroom, what I meant was that I literally wanted to talk about sex in your bedroom. Not a euphemism for the act itself.”

She had expected Pinkie to deflate; on the contrary, the pink mare merely gasped, her eyes wide. “You made that good of an innuendo accidentally?”

Rarity smiled wryly. “I suppose I did, darling. I had no intention of leading you on, so for that I apologise.”

Pinkie giggled and hopped back onto her bed, this time sitting perched on the edge, balancing herself with her forelegs. “It’s no problem, silly! If you didn’t want to have sex, you should’ve just said so in the first place.” The pink mare paused, leaning forward and squinting to eye Rarity suspiciously. “But you wanna talk about sex still?”

“Oh, of course,” Rarity replied with a nod. She turned her head to look near the door, where a small wooden chair sat adjacent to the frame. “Is it alright if I take a seat?”

“Sure!” Pinkie nodded emphatically. “Most ponies who come here to talk about sex sit on the bed, but, uh... this isn't exactly like it is with most ponies.” She paused to stick out her tongue and then adjusted herself so that she lay on her stomach across the bed, head raised to look across the room at where Rarity sat near the door. “So, what specifically do you want to talk about?”

“Hmm... that is a good question, darling,” Rarity said, a thoughtful look across her face. “Where shall we start?”

“Probably at the beginning,” Pinkie replied with a giggle. “Or if you really want, the prologue, but I don't think this story has one. Unless you count that one story, but that’s more of a side-prequel or something.”

Rarity waved a hoof. “No, no, scratch all that. I suppose it’s fair to say that I come to you with some questions. Now, I think it’s safe to say that I know some about your... proclivities when it comes to sex."

“Oh, that I have a lot of it with a lot of different ponies?” Pinkie replied. “’Cause if so, then yeah, that’s totally true. Just like you, right?”

Rarity nodded. “Almost exactly like me, I should think. Why, if it weren’t for my rule to not have sex with my closest friends, I’m sure we would have already.”

Pinkie cocked her head. “Huh? What do you mean?”

It was Rarity's turn to be confused. “You and me, having sex. What is there not to get?”

“No, not that—what’s that about a rule against having sex with your bestest besties?”

Rarity again was confused. “Why, it's exactly how it sounds, darling! Do you need further explanation?”

Pinkie's expression was difficult to read. “But what about last time?”

“I still don’t know what this ‘last time’ is, darling.” Rarity frowned. “Was there another time I came to you to talk about sex?”

Pinkie blinked. “You really don’t remember? I mean, I guess that would make sense since we really did have a lot to drink but I remember it perfectly like it was yesterday when we went down to the bar for my birthday and the rest of the girls went home pretty early but you wanted to stay longer and we got suuuuper plastered and one thing let to another and—”

“Oh my,” Rarity interrupted, blinking with surprise. “You don't mean to suggest...?”

Pinkie’s face slowly transformed into the widest, most devious smirk that Rarity had ever seen. “It was back at the boutique, actually! You brought me there ’cause you were afraid of making noise, and then we went up to your room and—”

“That’s quite enough, darling,” Rarity interrupted, frowning. “I think I’ve gotten the gist of it.”

“Aw, but Rarity!” Pinkie pouted. “If you don’t remember, I wanna tell you all about it to help you remember because it was so, so, so good!”

Rarity pursed her lips. “A lady does not kiss and tell.”

Pinkie giggled. “But aren’t you always telling me that I don’t act like a lady, anyway? C’mon, Rares, it’s only about you, anyway. Plus I know you tell Fluttershy all about everything, so don’t act like you aren’t a kiss ’n’ teller yourself.”

Rarity sighed. “Whatever do you want from me, darling? I’ve told you, I do not wish to know the details, so please, refrain from telling me.”

Pinkie nodded. “I’m sorry, Rares! If you really don’t wanna hear, then of course I won’t tell ya. Even if it was really good…”

“How do you know I tell Fluttershy, anyway?” Rarity asked, shifting gears. She squinted. “Does Fluttershy… tell you?”

Pinkie quickly shook her head, her pink mane flouncing about. “Nope, Flutters would never do such a thing! She really cares about ponies and their secrets, especially when it comes to you, her bestest bestie of all.”

“How, then?”

Pinkie smirked. “Let’s just say that you girls aren’t all that quiet when you talk about it at the spa, and sometimes I can hear you when I go in to get my mane cut.”

Rarity wore a look of surprise. “What?”

Pinkie had a sheepish look. “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help but listen and—”

“No,” Rarity interrupted. “What I mean to say is… you get your mane cut?”

At that, Pinkie giggled. “I know, it surprised me too!” She reached up and patted her mane, letting it bounce against her hoof a few times. “Crazy stuff.”

Rarity sighed. “Crazy stuff indeed…”

Pinkie rolled over onto her back, leaning her head over the edge so that she was still looking at Rarity. “Hey, you’re upside down!” she exclaimed, watching as Rarity rolled her eyes. “So, what’dja wanna talk about specifically?”

“Well, Fluttershy suggested that you might have ‘insights’ into a... situation I’m in, because you’ve been in a similar situation yourself,” Rarity said, eyeing the pink pony lying before her. “You see, my problem is that I have… a crush.”

Pinkie blinked. “Rarity, you’re silly! Having a crush isn’t a problem at all, no siree. In fact, it’s the opposite!”

Rarity pursed her lips. “You’d think so, wouldn’t you? And yet… I don’t quite know what to do about it.”

“Why don’t you just tell the pony you have a crush on?” Pinkie asked. “I mean, I know it’s different than asking a pony if they want to have sex, but it’s still not really that big a deal. All they can do is say yes or no, right?”

“Well, that’s true…” Rarity replied, nodding slowly, “but I’m also worried that… I don’t know. That she and I will have incompatible sexual habits, or something like that.”

“Oh, that she won’t be okay with casual sexy stuff?”

“Exactly, darling,” Rarity replied. “What if she prefers a monogamous relationship? I’ve been… restraining myself from having sex for the past few months, I suppose to see what that lifestyle is like. And, while it’s not what I prefer, it seems livable.”

“Ooh, now I see why Fluttershy said you should talk to me,” Pinkie said, her expression uncharacteristically concerned. “You know, you shouldn’t have to change yourself like that for anypony, even if you have a crush on them.”

“Right… but I really want it to work between us,” Rarity replied.

“I know what you mean, but you kinda have to realise that sometimes it won’t.” She flashed Rarity a sympathetic smile. “I know I had to date a lot of different ponies before I found my current girlfriend. But it’s all been worth it.” Pinkie flipped back right side up, just to swoon.

“You have a girlfriend?” Rarity asked, raising an eyebrow. “How come you’ve never introduced her to the girls?”

“Oh, I will! We’ve just been waiting for the right time, and she lives out of town so she’s usually really busy with work,” Pinkie replied, grinning. “I think all you girls already know her, anyway.”

“Oh? Who’s the lucky mare?”

Pinkie’s grin widened. “Minuette. You might remember her from Shining and Cadance’s wedding—she’s a friend of Twilight’s. We’ve been dating for… almost six months now, actually! Wow! Time really does like a banana.”

Rarity leapt forward from her seat to pull Pinkie into a hug. “My goodness, darling, I’m so happy for you!”

“Thanks, Rarity!” Pinkie replied, reaching out from the squeeze to give the white mare a little pat on the head. “She’s living in Canterlot right now, but she’s hoping to find a job in Ponyville sometime in the next few months.” Pinkie paused. “But I think what Fluttershy wanted me to tell you about is how we were able to have a talk when we first started dating, and we worked out a way both of us could attend to our own needs and wants, and nopony’s feelings would get hurt! And we still talk about it every so often too, make sure everything’s still going okay.”

“That sounds… really nice,” Rarity replied, looking up at the pink mare whose arms she was now lying in. “I’m glad you were able to work something out, darling.”

“Me too,” Pinkie said, “and I think you’ll be able to do that, too. Maybe not with this mare that you have a crush on right now—though, maybe you can—but there will always be other ponies even if it doesn’t work out.”

“...You’re right,” Rarity said, nodding. “I am being rather silly about this, aren’t I?”

“Only a little,” Pinkie said, stroking Rarity’s mane. “But feelings are usually worth being at least a little silly about. I mean, so are most things—’cause there’s nothing wrong with silly!—but feelings especially. When you get down to it, feelings just kind of are silly to begin with, but that’s part of why they’re so important.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t even tell her at all,” Rarity murmured to herself. “There will be other ponies out there, and… maybe it’s just not worth risking our friendship over.”

“I dunno about that,” Pinkie replied. “Even if you’re worried about what she’s going to say, I still think you should go for it. There’s no way for you to find out unless you ask, right?”

“But what if she rejects me?” Rarity whimpered. “Our friendship is really important to me, and I shudder at the thought that I would cause our friend group to fall apart, especially with actions whose consequences I can foresee.”

“Hmm, that is a toughie,” Pinkie said, nodding knowingly. “But I don’t think you’re really going to be happy until you find out for sure. And I think what we and the rest of the girls have is stronger than something like that—we’ve been through a lot! Plus, even if you think it’s a sure thing, who knows? I just really don’t want you to end up like Applejack...”

Rarity blinked. “Huh? Whatever do you mean about Applejack, darling?”

Pinkie twitched. “Oh no, I didn’t—wait, I didn’t tell you any of the deets, so I’m still keeping my Pinkie Promise. Whew.” She wiped her brow. “That was a close one. Anyway… I’m super-duper sorry, but I can’t tell you. However…”

Rarity looked up at the pink mare’s sly grin. “...I could go ask Applejack herself?”

“Bingo,” Pinkie said with a nod. “Though you were already gonna go do that, weren’t you?”

“Mhmm,” Rarity hummed, nodding. “I’ve been talking to all our friends, and… she’s next on the list.”

“That’s good. I’m sure she’ll be able to show you why you must must must tell this pony.” Pinkie took a deep breath. “Like, for realsies.”

“Er… alright,” Rarity replied with a slight shrug. She shifted forward on the bed a little, pulling herself from Pinkie’s forelegs. “Well, I thank you dearly for all of your advice, darling. Really, it means the world to me that we could have this talk.”

“No problem!” Pinkie exclaimed with a grin, standing up tall on the bed. “That’s what friends are for, right? Talking about sex ’n’ stuff?”

“I suppose that’s one way to look at it,” Rarity said with a wry smile as she pulled herself forward, eventually sliding down so that her hooves softly clicked onto the floor. “Nevertheless… I must now be going. I have a lot to think about, and a farmpony to talk to on the morrow. It has been a pleasure, darling, but I fear I must now retire for the night, until next time.”

“Sure thing!” Pinkie replied, trotting off the bed to stand next to Rarity. “Here, I’ll walk with you to the door.” The pink mare walked past Rarity to open the bedroom door, and then held it open to let her through. Both mares trotted quietly through the dark hallway and down the stairs until they once again had reached the front area of Sugarcube Corner.

“Again, thank you for everything,” Rarity said to Pinkie as they neared the front door.

“Of course,” Pinkie mumbled through her teeth as she pulled the door lock to the side. “Ick, metal doesn’t taste very good.” She turned back to Rarity, and pulled the mare into a hug. “Come back anytime, m’kay? And… after you find out whether you and this other pony will work…” Pinkie cleared her throat, looking shiftily to the side. “...Well, my bedroom door is always open to a friend. Just sayin’.”

Rarity blinked as she pulled away from the hug, stepping towards the door. “You know, I may very well take you up on that sometime. Thank you, darling.”

And, just like that, Rarity trotted out the door, disappearing into the cool night. Pinkie watched as she rounded a corner, heading in the general direction of her boutique, until she was unable to be seen in the light of the streetlamps. With a sigh, Pinkie gingerly shut the door, locked it again, and trotted off back towards the stairs in an almost uncharacteristic silence.

IV

The morning air was crisp and fresh, and as Rarity trotted down the dirt path towards Sweet Apple Acres, she even found herself shivering as a passing breeze nipped at her coat. The sun was still low in the sky for it wasn’t even seven o’clock, and while Rarity wouldn’t usually have been up quite this early, she knew that Applejack would only just be starting her morning chores—so, naturally, it was the most opportune time for a chat. At least she wasn’t Rainbow Dash. The only way she could imagine the pegasus being up this early would be during cider season, dashing through those Sweet Apple skies as fast as she could to reach the line, but that of course would be a few months on.

As she trotted along, glancing at the rolling fields to one side and the looming trees to the other, Rarity considered that perhaps she should go on walks like this more often. It was invigourating, getting herself up and moving so early in the day, and she already felt much more awake than she usually did in the mornings. Of course, it wasn’t always that easy to get out of bed. Rarity was sure that she wouldn’t even be up if she wasn’t so darned curious; Pinkie hadn’t given her much to go on, so Rarity had been up late pondering over what the party pony could have meant. Hopefully Applejack would be willing to talk.

A chorus of chirping birds greeted her as the rows and rows of apple trees came into sight. With each step, Rarity could smell more of the earthiness of her friend’s farm… as well as the crisp scent of apples. Small branches bent and cracked underhoof as Rarity stepped between the first few trees, signalling that she was, in fact, at Sweet Apple Acres; the worn wooden sign above merely served to confirm this. Only a few moments later the unicorn had made it nearly all the way down the path, coming up on the red wooden barn.

At first, Rarity looked beyond, at the farmhouse in the distance—but upon seeing no lights on, nor any other signs of life, she turned her gaze back to the barn. And, as a matter of fact, that’s when she noticed the subtle clip-clop of hooves on the dirt. Not a moment later, the barn door swung open with a slight rattle, and out from the shadowed darkness emerged the soft orange hues of an earth pony, dragging a wagon right behind.

For a moment, Applejack squinted, looking out beneath the brim of her hat towards the east. Then, as her eyes adjusted to the light of the sun, she blinked and her lips curved. “Rarity!” she exclaimed, grinning. “Good mornin’!” She trotted forward, bringing up the empty cart right behind her.

“And a good morning to you too, Applejack,” Rarity replied, a trace of a smile on her lips as well. “How are you?”

“I’m just fine, myself. You know me—work to do, up with the sun to do it. Though,” Applejack said, raising an eyebrow, “I’m a might bit curious as to what brings you out here, especially so early in the morning. I didn’t realise you got outta bed before noon on weekends.”

Rarity just rolled her eyes. “I’m not Rainbow Dash, darling—I’m perfectly capable of rising early when circumstances require it.”

“Oh?” Applejack gave Rarity an odd look. “What kinda business brings ya here, then? Didn’t realise we had anything fashion-like growing in the orchard, unless we got some fancy gems beneath the ground or something.”

Rarity laughed. “No, not fashion, no gems. Personal business. Though”—Rarity glanced at the empty wagon harnessed to Applejack—“I can come back later if you’re too busy right now.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “No, no, now you’ve got me curious. Mind if I work while we talk, though? These apples won’t harvest themselves, and I can’t waste these hours while it’s still cool.”

“Oh, of course!” Rarity replied. “I should think the exercise would be good for me, after all.”


Applejack pulled the cart alongside the cluster of trees, and pulled out an empty basket. Rarity watched as she trotted over to one of the trees and gave it a casual kick. Apples gave way to gravity, falling cleanly into the basket.

“So, lemme get this straight,” Applejack said, once she had filled a few of the baskets. “You wanna talk with me about... that? Really?”

“Of course! Why not?” Rarity looked confused.

Applejack looked cautiously from side to side. “Aw, shucks. You know I don’t know hardly anything about that. I think you might be talking to the wrong mare.” She paused, bucking another tree. “Have you tried Pinkie?”

Rarity waved a hoof. “Oh, yes, I’ve already talked with her. And basically everypony else, at that. I’m looking for… a variety of opinions.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Well, I still ain’t convinced that I can give ya what you’re lookin’ for… but go ahead. Shoot.” She started trotting over to another tree.

Rarity smiled. “So, ah… what has your love life been like?”

Applejack stopped in her tracks, and made a show of turning her head to look at Rarity and roll her eyes again. “Rarity, you know I don’t got time for that. Mac ’n’ me have our hooves full with the farm, and with gettin’ Apple Bloom through school. Not to mention takin’ care of Granny.”

“Now, Applejack…” Rarity started. “While that may be true, you can’t pretend to have never thought about romance or sex at all.” She paused. “Unless, of course, you happen to be asexual or something of the like.”

“A-what-now?” Applejack asked, tilting her head. “Whazzat?”

“Asexual,” Rarity repeated. “Not interested in sex—or, in some cases, romantic relationships.”

Applejack paused for a moment, and then nodded. “Yeah, I could maybe be one a’ those. Sure.”

Rarity raised an eyebrow. “But are you?”

Her lips pursed, Applejack remained still as her eyes darted from left to right. “Uhhh… maybe?” She shrugged. “You never know.”

Rarity just smirked. “You know you’re not good at lying, darling.”

“So what if I’m not?” Applejack asked. Her trademark Stetson was tipped over her eyes, masking them from Rarity’s view. “Ain’t this a li’l private?”

Rarity leaned back against the trunk of one of the trees Applejack had already bucked, and she sighed. “You’re right, and I’m terribly sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable. I can just leave you be, if that’s what you’d prefer.” The unicorn stepped away, and started trotting in the direction of the path back towards Ponyville. A moment passed.

“Now wait just a minute here,” Applejack’s voice came from behind, and Rarity turned to look back at the mare. Her hat was now up, and Rarity could see a fierceness in her eyes. “I’m… I’m gonna tell ya what’s what, m’kay?”

“Er… ‘m’kay’,” Rarity replied, curious. She stepped back towards Applejack. “What do you mean?”

“I’m…” Applejack paused for a moment, seemingly trying to find the words. “I’m gonna tell ya ’bout me and love. But… this is mighty private, and I can’t be havin’ ya talking about this to other ponies. Even that darn Pinkie Pie, who I’m pretty sure is the pony who sent ya here.”

“Me, a gossip?” Rarity gasped, lifting a hoof to her chest in mock outrage. “Why, I never!”

Applejack’s expression darkened. “Rarity…”

The unicorn sighed, and lowered her hoof. “Yes, yes, I know. I promise that whatever you tell me, not a word leaves this, er, orchard.”

“Thank ya kindly,” Applejack said, nodding. She set a basket into the cart before lifting another empty one onto her back. “Now… where to start…?”

“Perhaps at the beginning?” Rarity suggested wryly.

Applejack snorted. “Ha ha, very funny.” Her legs thwacked into another thick tree trunk, and there was yet another plopping of apples down into the basket she had set down. “Yeah, sure, as good a place to start as any. It all started back when I was just a filly, not long after I came back from livin’ in Manehattan with my Aunt and Uncle Orange. Right after I got my cutie mark.”

“After we all did, yes?”

Rarity could see Applejack nodding even through the trees. “Yeah, that’s right. And soon after I got back, I started goin’ to school here in Ponyville again. You probably remember that.”

Rarity nodded. “Yes, I remember being overjoyed to see you’d come back.”

Applejack trotted back over to the cart again. “Aw, shucks. Well, I wasn’t the only one. There was a couple other fillies who started school about the same time I did, since they moved to town at about the same time.”

“Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy,” Rarity murmured.

“Right. An’ I bet you remember how close I got with those two.”

“Yes, quite. I was… a tad jealous, come to think of it.”

“Heh. Well, you were more focused on makin’ dresses at that point to keep up with our shenanigans. Why, if you were jealous, I’m a bit surprised you didn’t make more of an effort to be friends sooner. We woulda been happy to have your company.”

Rarity hummed. “True… but the past is the past. I’m just glad we were able to become friends eventually, and Twilight’s arrival brought us even closer together.”

“Right, right.” Applejack wheeled the cart to another grove of trees, and turned again to her companion. Regardless… me and Pinkie and Fluttershy got awful close, the three of us. Almost as close as Apple Bloom has gotten with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, though I’m not sure we could compete—those three are thick as thieves. And, well…” She trailed off, looking down to the ground, and her expression was hard to read. Finally, she looked up, and with ruddy cheeks said softly, “With one of them I kinda started to want more.” She looked away, stepping back.

Rarity immediately had a thousand questions burning through her mind, but she held her tongue and simply nodded. Though Applejack was often outspoken and one of the most rough-and-tumble members of their group… Rarity could tell how difficult this conversation was for the mare, and she didn’t want to bear down any further on her, especially not when she was doing her such a favour by speaking on the subject in the first place.

But once a few uncomfortable moments had passed and Applejack returned to bucking trees, it became clear she wasn’t going to offer up any further details of her own volition. So, cautiously, Rarity pressed on. “Was it… Pinkie Pie?” she asked, thinking of the conversation she’d had the night before. Almost instantly, Applejack stopped and snorted.

“You really think—? Ah, shucks, Pinkie’s a great mare, and one of my closest friends to boot, but I never felt anything like that about her.”

“So then it was—” Rarity blanched. “Oh, goodness…”

Applejack nodded, and Rarity could see her ears droop beneath her hat. “’Fraid so.”

“Does… does she know?”

Applejack sighed. “At one time I planned to tell her, not long after Pinkie squeezed it outta me, back when we was in school and all. But I was scared—I always been scared—and I kept putting it off. Next thing I knew…” She shifted uncomfortably, looking away. “Well, you and Shy are close, I know you know all about her and… my brother.” She said these last words with an odd, flat tone.

“Oh, Applejack…” Rarity started, stepping over to her friend. She put a hoof to her shoulder. “I… I’m not sure what to say. I never realised—”

“And I never meant for anyone to realise,” Applejack cut in, a hint of bitterness in her voice. “That’s why I keep it to myself—I don’t need yer sympathy. It ain’t the biggest thorn in my hoof.”

“But it’s not fair, for you to have to deal with that,” Rarity protested. “Especially when your love runs so deep…”

“Rarity,” Applejack droned. “Please, I know yer a romantic, but... this ain’t something you can fix. I know she and my brother are happy with each other.” She sighed. “’Sides, I know Shy don’t fancy the mare-folk. I wouldn’ta had a chance even if Mac hadn’t come along. Really, I’m just glad he makes her happy and I can be so close a friend to her... even though sometimes I still do wish I could have more.”

Rarity rubbed along Applejack’s back with her hoof, nodding slowly. “I’m not sure if this is the right thing to say now, but… friendship is the greatest thing a pony can have, is it not? Is there really, as you say, ‘more’?”

“Heh.” Applejack looked up at her friend, a toothy grin on her face. “You know, you’re right about that, Rares. And I feel like I try and appreciate that most of the time… but I really can’t help thinkin’ about what it could be like, too. Even if it isn’t exactly more, it’s certainly somethin’ different and wonderful. At least that’s what I think it could be, since I’ve never had that.”

“Hmm, yes, I think I know what you mean,” Rarity murmured, though her gaze was trained elsewhere, at the sky. Suddenly, she shook back to attention. “But why her?”

Applejack looked confused. “What drew me to Fluttershy in the first place, you mean?”

“No, um...” Rarity paused. “I guess I’m wondering why… if you know that you have no chance with her, why don’t you just… move on?”

Applejack sighed. “And that’s the million bit question, ain’t it? Really, I don’t know. I’ve been trying to for years—and sometimes I think there are other gals I could start seeing myself with, but there’s always something that holds me back. And… I guess since I spend so much time with Shy, I keep comin’ back to her. I know it’s hopeless, but I just can’t help but feel like there’s somethin’ special about her.” She bit her lip. “Not that I would ever do anything about it, of course… Celestia knows how uncomfortable that would make the poor mare, and for no good reason ’cept for my own peace of mind. I guess… I guess it just has to be enough for me to dream.”

Rarity took a step back, looking the farm mare over. And in the pony in front of her, she could see somepony with great strength… and yet great pain, hiding behind her eyes.

“Hey, Rarity?”

“Yes?”

“If you don’t mind answering…” Applejack started. “Why are you askin’ me about this anyway? Me and the rest of the girls, I mean, assuming those are the other ponies you’ve been talkin’ to.”

“Oh, um, yes, it has been them,” Rarity confirmed. “I… well, I’ve been having a lot of feelings over the past few months. Feelings which to some extent I’ve had before, but in a very new, very exciting way—but it’s all still so unfamiliar.”

“Romantic feelings?” Applejack asked.

“Yes, yes.” Rarity nodded. “It’s complicated, to say the least, but suffice to say there’s somepony I have feelings for, and I haven’t yet come to a conclusion on exactly what they are or what I should do about them.”

Applejack leaned back and snickered. “That’s so unlike you, Rares.”

The unicorn raised an eyebrow. “What exactly do you mean?”

“Well, you’re a darn romantic if I’ve ever seen one. Remember Prince Blueblood? Trenderhoof? Coco Pommel?”

“Coco and I have always just been friends, darling,” Rarity interrupted.

The farm pony rolled her eyes. “Yeah, sure, whatever you say. But that’s besides the point. You’re always just so vocal ’bout what and who ya want that I guess it surprises me that you’re fretting so much over whoever this is. Just go out there and ask the darn pony on a date! You can figure out what comes next later, and if it don’t work out then it don’t work out, plain and simple.”

“Oh, you’re right, you’re absolutely right,” Rarity moaned. “I just don’t have much experience with this sort of thing.”

Applejack blinked. “What, with dating? Huh…”

Rarity’s cheeks flushed, and she glanced away. “I-I mean, it’s not like I never have before,” she stammered. “It’s just—”

Applejack put a hoof on her shoulder. “Heh, don’t worry about it, I ain’t judgin’. Remember who you’re talking to here.” She paused, pursing her lips for a moment before continuing: “Well, I can’t quite speak from personal experience, as you know—but I think what I said is still true. If you want somepony, and want ’em real bad, then you gotta just talk to ’em and tell ’em how you feel.” Rarity didn’t respond for a few moments, so Applejack started rubbing her shoulder with her hoof.

Finally, Rarity looked back to her friend. “But what do I do if she doesn’t like me?” she said, almost in a whimper.

Applejack looked past Rarity, to the apple trees both filled with fruit and those laid bare by her bucking. She looked past their leaves and into the fluffy white clouds that were just starting to wispily perturb the sky. And oh, that sky, where her eyes lingered, drinking in the soft blues of the infinite. And then she looked back to those azure eyes in front of her, screwed up in concern, watching her expectantly.

Applejack sighed. “I don’t know, sugarcube. I really don’t know. I guess you just do what I do. You live.”

And then Rarity wrapped her forelegs around her, and they stood in silence for several minutes.

“I have to go,” Rarity eventually murmured, breaking the embrace. “But thank you. Thank you so much. And I am so, so sorry.”

Applejack couldn’t help but let out a dry, husky laugh. “Don’t worry about me. I told ya, it doesn’t hold me back. I go on.”

“If you insist.” Rarity turned away, glancing towards the sign over the entrance to the farm and trotting away.

“Oh, and one more thing,” Applejack called as Rarity was halfway to the path.

“Yes?” The fashionista glanced over her shoulder.

“Good luck asking Rainbow out!”

Rarity’s jaw dropped. And then, fuming, she stomped off to the sound of Applejack’s boisterous guffaws behind her, not even deigning to give the dumb, irritating, uncouth farm pony a second glance.

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