Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

The clock on the wall marked out the time in steady rhythm, each second passing with a loud articulation of time moving forward at a steady rate. Good thing too, as it was the only thing that was moving in my room. For a long time my eyes sat on the clock, taking relief in that the world didn't stop for me. I could faintly hear Boss shouting orders on the topside, her authoritative voice far better suited for command.

I tried to remember what I had done to deserve being the main character in a tragedy piece. Thought really hard on it for a few minutes, in fact. Nothing really stood out in my mind besides not really trying to make friends back home.

I referred to it as home. Not Earth, home.

I was bandaged on one limb and bound to the bed by what looked several layers of curtains wrapped around me and the mattress like plastic wrap.

I was insane. This world was insane. What motivated the world? What motivated me?

I had been injured by something I couldn't remember. Yet another pattern, like some lazy baker had taken a cookie cutter to the narrative and baked sugar cookies out of the more exciting bits.

If I ever got laid, would I remember that?

Memories from yesterday came to be as if roused by my skepticism. I had been talking to Catastrophe.

And then...

I felt a warm blush rush across my face. That was a Good memory... I smiled lightly. And then frowned

I remembered the knife...

God. I stabbed myself.

Don't think about it. Just push through whatever the hell the world threw at me. In a way, I was winning the game by surviving every cliche or acid trip the fates placed in my path. Winning felt good.

A dark flash of satisfaction flared through my mind when my leg let out a few bolts of pain. That is right, I hurt myself more than you did, world.

As was almost becoming routine, Canary walked in through the door to check on me.

Screw being subtle. "Canary, where are you keeping your books?"

He flinched as if I had struck him across his muzzle. "How?"

I laughed. "I woke up and you keep learning new spells. Only made sense that you had books." I had to think before reality reacted. I had to be logical and crazier than a crack addict going through withdrawal.

"I only have a few books." He looked down, the confession evidently hurting him.

"A spell book, the Equestrian translation book, what else?" I tried to be reassuring as well as commanding. I abruptly regretted that I had not been older when I entered equestria and in the same instant stomped on the irrational regret like a roach.

"A book I can't read." He sighed. "Ivan. Why am I here? What are you trying to prove?" His eyes filled with doubt. He doubted me.

"What?" I didn't keep the pain out of my eyes.

He flinched again. "Ivan... I can't decide how to say this... Every time you do anything you end up hurt."

I grit my teeth and shut out his voice. "Shut up."

"You need to stop trying to change the world. It isn't working for you." His words cut through me.

"Shut up." I felt like crying.

"What are we even doing?" He stared at me. "Damn it."

I snapped. "Canary. Shut up. I can win. I will win." He was doubting me. "As soon as I get out of this bed I will start winning. If I ever stop it is then, AND ONLY THEN THAT YOU CAN QUESTION ME." I felt like I spat venom at him.

He jerked like I spat venom at him. "Yes sir."

"Now get me your books to read while I think about what we are doing." I smiled at him lightly, as if I were trying to apologize. I wasn't, he had really hurt me, but whatever.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

A few minutes passed before he returned with a few books on his back.

I nodded at him. "Where are we?"

"We are waiting outside of Oblivion for you to recover." He looked away. "I'm sorry."

I could hear the words he didn't say. "For doubting me? When have I given you reason not to?" I shook my head.

"Yes." He shook his head as well and sat the books on the bed next to me. He also placed a feather beside me, for the levitation spell. He tried to smile at me when he walked out of the room but it didn't reach his eyes.

There was a long moment where I tried to smile back at him but could only feel a cold feeling of betrayal and remorse. I shook my head and looked down at the books, settling on the spell book.

It was mostly a dud, theorized magic and the compounds that were to be kept from slaves at all costs. It also just might've been my depressingly slow reading speed, but the Equestruan written spell book that documented rumors on zebra magic might not have been the best method to learn zebra magic.

Maybe.

At any rate, all I really gleaned from the book was that apples were good for healing, though not as good as lemons. Which almost made sense if you ignored all hints of logic and stuck a hoof in a blender.

The other book however...

The cover was bound on a locked case tightly, letters of the ENGLISH alphabet wrapped around the fringes of the front cover, followed by a complex stream of numbers.

The book was tightly bound by an internal spell relating to the cover, at least that us what I could guess at. Where I assumed the title would be was literally blank, even of magic.

The entire book actually drained magic from the air around it slowly. It was rather fascinating in the same way that burning ants with a magnifying glass was.

After a few minutes of feeding tiny bits of magic into it I has a wonderful idea. I shoved a fireball's worth of magic into it and grinned when several spots erupted from the cover in a dazzling display of light. And the dots blurred to form symbols, all resembling nothing more than various placements of crosses.

Religious symbolism and thoughts on what it all coukd mean flooded through me at the crosses that covered it. It was another language, the symbols slowly flickering out. I felt my hope start to die out.

I glared at the English letters on the cover and the numbers relating to the letters when it occurred to me that the symbols and the letters and the numbers were all related.

The symbols meant numbers meant letters.

And then I thought back to being human, of what those symbols could relate to.

Call me crazy, and I will probably agree with you, but those symbols almost looked like fingers. I mean, if you have fingers, lay one out across something. In my mind's eye, I could imagine that each line on the various crosses matched lines running through the joints of each finger.

I mean, it didn't really fit the third line for the cross that was nearer to the bottom, but I figured that would be where the finger attached to the hand.

It was Trinary.

Base three. The numbers were written in base three.

I could barely read base three. It wasn't exactly the sort of thing that you came across in every day life, understand? But the series of symbols had been attached to numbers and letters... And then maybe this book, with English on the cover, would open and explain away exactly why my life was hell.

Would be nice, I guess.

Probably wouldn't, but all I could really do was hope.

I began my slow translation attempt, pumping magic thread after magic thread into the book while trying to read it.

By the end of the hour I had two letters translated. A G.

That's it for most of an hour. That and a bit of a headache from switching languages.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

I had a brief flash of memory that implicated me as being responsible for its creation. I heard the melody of the ship and rolled my eyes at my delusions, instead focusing back on the book.

The door opened again and I knew it was the griffon by her talons clicking against the wood. "Heard you were awake and I thought I should visit." I heard a waver in her voice and decided to not comment on it.

"Really?" I asked while trying not to sound disinterested. A G U. Three letters.

"Yeah... So I was thinking."

I looked at her and memories flooded back to the front of my mind, coloring my thoughts with the added strain of hormones and my face burned red through my fur.

However that worked.

"Oh? Can't even look at me without blushing?" She teased, raising her wings slightly.

"Yeah." I responded, tearing my gaze away from her and trying to forget what my mind told me she tasted like. "What were you thinking?"

She pulled out a small paper bound bundle from the pounce under her wing. An apple soon followed and she tossed both on the bed. "Here. I think we might be able to get you to eat meat."

I blinked. "What?"

"Jerky. I think if we give you a little meat at a time you'll be able to eat more if it eventually." I noted her distinct lack of swear words.

I peeled apart the package and found a small sliver of meat of in deterministic origin. "Dog?"

She nodded and looked at the apple. "Eat the apple after you try the jerky."

I looked back at her and my face didn't darken, though that might've been because my face was already as red as possible. I channeled my magic through the feather next to me and levitated the dog meat into my mouth. I chewed it and wished for canines. I swallowed and started on the apple.

"If we ever end up stranded somewhere with something that you can't fix, having more variety in the menu will help." She ran her tongue over her beak and I caught the faintest hint of blood in the air. "That, and I want to see how it affects you."

She said the last part in the perfect tone to build my interest in quite a few things, many of which would only happen in a certain other kind of story than the one I seemed to be in.

I gulped back my first few responses and nodded. "Thanks."

She shrugged and turned away, swaying her back half in the perfect way. She quietly snickered as she left the room, letting me know exactly why she did that.

She was a bitch.

Pathetic. I felt pretty pathetic.

I threw myself back into reading to put my mind off of her teasings.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Five letters. A G U I D. Words... In English of course.

Just... Everything in English seemed to pop out from everything as if the text itself was in another color. And sure it was merely an alphabet, but puzzling it out kept me from thinking too hard or descending into a chorus of woe is me or something.

A guide.

I blinked and hurriedly retraced the thought. "A guide." I felt something touch my mind and with a groan I felt it come from the book.

"Can I go one day without something messing with my head? One day?" Shut up.

I looked at the book again and stopped. The two words, a guide. appeared on the cover.

I smiled. Progress.

As if designed by clock work, Boss opened the door right as i got a few more letters decoded.

"Ivan." Her voice was far more serious and it stung like blades of ice cloaked in bits of salt. Or, I overreacted to her body language and my mind got carried away with the figurative language, one or the other.

"Boss." I replied in kind, bound to the bed.

"Do you know why you hurt yourself?" She leaned against the door and stared at me, probably calculating things.

I nodded. "Something possessed me, you know, bad thing of the day." The world trying to screw me over was entirely too routine a thing.

She sighed. "Most creatures don't have the ability, or even the thought to let a spirit take control. You do know why I am here, correct?"

I had an idea but I shook my head. "Not really."

"You are weak in mental strength." She stated simply.

"On the contrary, I think I am quite strong in that department." I replied almost instantly.

"You have strength, but not near enough to stop whatever is attacking you."

I bit back what little sarcasm I wanted put into my next phrase when I realized she wasn't doubting me or even being negative. "Then...?"

"You need to get stronger. We all need to get stronger." She drew her sword. "Once you recover well enough, we, and that means everyone on board, will practice fighting." She advised, though it was far more of an order.

I nodded limply at her and sighed. "So...? When do you think I will be better enough?"

"A few days. Better enjoy your rest, because I am not giving you another unless you break bones." She sheathed her sword and tapped her metal paw on the wall.

I sighed. Three companions, each oh so different. All trying to help me live to seem vision of a brighter future, or at least live to see another day.

It was great to have friends!

I heard a certain spider snicker quietly.