A Barb in my side

by Sarcastic Brony

Chapter 1: Annoyance

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“It’s time to get up!”

Anon lets out a groan as his eyes slowly open. One thing he doesn’t like is when he’s awoken from a deep sleep. Yet as his mind starts to clear the haze of sleep, he finds standing right above him is the last creature he wants to see after waking up. He can already feel the annoyance levels rising in his blood. It’s just one of those days it seems.

“Get out of my room, Barb,” Anon says with a groggy tone.

This is the fifth time that little shit has come into his room and woken him up. All he wants is a little peace and quiet but that dragon has to ruin everything for him. Not a single day goes by where she doesn’t come in and wake him up. There’s no reason as to why she does it either. Anon bets that she only does it to annoy him.

Barb lets out a snort as she crosses her arms. “Last I checked this wasn’t your room. You’re a guest here until Twilight can find a way to send you back to your world.”

It’s too early for this shit and Anon doesn’t need any lip from her. Let alone while she’s in his room. Doesn’t matter what she says, he’s just as welcome here as she is. It’s not like the little shit owns the place anyways. This is Twilight’s home.

“I don’t care! Just leave me alone already!”

Anon takes his pillow and presses it over his head to try and drown out Barb’s voice.

“You’re so lazy! Do you think I like cleaning up after you?!”

“Why shouldn’t you? You do it all the time for Twilight.” Anon says through the sheets.

“That’s different! She’s my sister and we take care of our home. You’re just some dirty monkey that tosses his trash wherever he pleases.”

Anon sits up and looks at her with a piercing gaze. It’s one thing to say he’s lazy, it’s another thing entirely to say he’s dirty.

“I do keep this room clean! You’re just a clean freak like Twilight!”

Barb gets red in the face. “I just like everything to look perfect. So get up and stop wasting my time! I need to clean your sheets!”

Anon knows he can’t win. She’ll keep pestering him until he finally gets out of bed. She wants him out of bed so bad? So be it.


Anon throws his covers off revealing his naked form. Barb’s eyes widen as she looks between his legs. She quickly covers her eyes as her face turns completely red.

“Gross! Why are you naked?!”

“I always sleep naked you idiot! If you would’ve just left like you usually do, I could’ve put some clothes on!”

“You’re so disgusting!” Barb quickly walks out of the room before Anon can say anything.

Anon lets out a frustrated grunt as he gets up and walks over to his dresser. Inside his dresser there isn’t much to talk about, pretty much matching sets of the same clothes are within. He made sure that Rarity kept all of his clothes simple. No way was he going to be wearing a suit every waking moment, not only is that a hassle but it would’ve been hot as well.

So he puts on a simple T-shirt with pants and gets ready for his morning ritual. He walks out of his room and to the bathroom. He doesn’t even pause as he opens the door to find Twilight looking at herself in the mirror. She jumps slightly in shock as she turns towards the door.

“Anon?! What did I say about knocking!”

“Don't care, need shower.”

Anon shamelessly walks into the bathroom and undresses in front of Twilight, walking over to the shower and turning on the water. There’s a blush on her face as she turns back to look herself over in the mirror.

“I thought humans didn’t like being naked around others?” she asks.

“I came to the realization that you ponies probably don’t care if I’m naked.”

I do! Ever since you explained it to me it’s weird whenever I see you like this,” Twilight says, trying to keep her gaze on her own reflection.

“What about your friends? I’ve seen you and Rarity at the spa together. They’re naked all the time. As a matter of fact, you even bathe with them.”

“That’s different. We have fur that covers our skin and tails that cover our genitalia. When it’s a pony, it seems natural.”

Anon turns to face Twilight, his pride and joy facing her as well. Twilight does everything she can to not look at it from the reflection in the mirror, but seeing as it’s at head height for her that makes it near impossible, not to mention that she’s probably a bit more curious than she should be.

“So my body is unnatural?” he says cheekily.

Twilight’s mind grinds to a halt. She didn’t mean it like that! She quickly turns around to face him.

“No! I didn’t mean it like that! It’s just... I don’t know.” She looks down at his manhood briefly before she looks back up to his face. “You’re just so different. Stallions have sheaths that hide their penis, but yours,” she looks again, “It’s just... there.”

Anon shrugs as he hops into the shower; it’s the perfect temperature. Magic is a wonderous thing.

“Whatever. You don’t hear me calling your ponyvag unnatural.”

Twilight’s tail presses between her legs as a large blush grows on her face. “Y-You’ve looked?!”

“Fair is fair,” Anon states. “I know you look at mine. Hell, you were looking at it a few moments ago.” He looks over at Twilight, seeing as there's no curtain for the shower. “...You’re looking at it right now.”

Twilight snaps out of her daze as she looks up at Anon.

“I can’t help it! It’s so rare for me to see another male’s... equipment.”

Anon looks at Twilight with a deadpan expression.

“Twilight, you seriously need to get laid if you’re interested in my dick.”

Her jaw drops. “I-I never said... Ugh! Why do you have to be such a jerk!”

“It’s fun; you should try it sometime.”

She rolls her eyes, scowling. “Make sure you clean up after yourself when you’re done.”

“No problem. You wanna help me dry off afterward?”

Twilight storms out of the bathroom. That nerd is so easy to fluster. He’s positive she’s never popped her cherry and that’s probably why she’s so awkward around him. Not that Anon hasn’t thought about tapping that ass from time to time, but being that pony’s first wouldn’t end well. She’d probably stop looking for a way to send him back if she thought they were an item. Now that’s not something he wants to get into. As sweet as Twilight is, she’s got a goodly amount of crazy in her. It goes with the territory when you’re as absurdly smart as she is.

“Are you done!” Barb yells from outside the bathroom.

“Just jacking off!” Anon replies.

“I didn’t need to hear that!”

“You asked if I was done!”

“I wanted to know if you were done with the shower, you dunce! I still need to get ready for the day!”

“Well, I’ll be done as soon as I rub one out.”

“You gross... monkey!”

There she goes. Anon didn’t even get time to say anything before she stomped down the hall. He hates when he doesn’t get the last word; it’s the hallmark of any good argument. Anon takes a second to just clear his thoughts. In a few days, it will mark the second month since he’s been here. It’s been so long for him that he’s beginning to have doubts that it’s possible to return to his world. Is time still moving where he’s from? Does it move faster? If he went back would he return where he left or would months or even years have passed?

How can he possibly explain where he’s been this entire time? He hates thinking about it, but chances are that it would cause more trouble than good to go back to his world. However, he fears the thought of telling Twilight to stop searching. If he tells her to stop, that’s it; he’ll be stuck in Equestria for the rest of his life. So what would he do if he can’t go back? So far Twilight has been willing to help him due to his predicament. Not only that, but she’s interested in learning everything he knows.

Aside from the awkward moment or twelve, Twilight doesn’t seem too bothered by him living with her. Yet he can’t depend on her kindness forever. He could try working for Applejack, but he’s not too sure if physical labor is really his thing. If anything he’d probably want to work for Rarity, as creating designs and other things comes easy for him. But then he’d have to deal with Rarity and she’s rather... affectionate.

Anon shivers at the thought. It’s true that he’s thought about plowing Twilight. She has that innocent nerdy charm that he finds cute. Rarity, on the other hand, makes him feel odd. As if he’s out of place. Maybe it’s her high-class attitude, maybe it’s her acclaim, but whatever it is, it’s a huge turn-off for Anon. Sure she’s pretty, but that can only go so far. Working for her would probably be a hassle in the long run. Why is he even thinking about this anyways? He just needs to believe in Twilight. Maybe she has a crazy time spell that can place him at the point when he left? Yeah, that would help.

Anon turns off the water and gets out of the shower. He makes sure to dry himself and quickly dresses. When he walks out of the bathroom, Barb is standing at the door with her arms crossed and tapping her foot impatiently. Anon walks past her without a single pause.

“It’s all yours.”

Barb scoffs as she walks past him and into the shower. A moment later the shower turns on.

“Did you use all the hot water?!”.

Anon chuckles as he walks away. Maybe he didn’t get the last word, but he still won.

Anon walks into the kitchen to find Twilight making breakfast. Not batting an eye, he makes his way to the table. The unicorn makes breakfast every morning.

“Sup, Babe,” Anon says as he takes a seat.

Twilight starts slightly but keeps her magic steady on the pan on the stove.

“What did I tell you about calling me that? If anypony heard you they’d think we were an item.”

Anon shrugs. “I like it better than Twilight. That sounds too formal.”

“Why not call me Twi, like all my other friends?”

“I was never one to follow the crowd. Should I call you sugar mama?”

Twilight looks at Anon with a twitching eye.


“Shmoopy doo?”

“Definitely not!”

“Babe it is then.”

She lets out a sigh as she goes back to cooking. “If you should call anypony that, then why not Rarity?”

Now that catches Anon off guard. “Good one, but I’d rather not.”

Twilight flashes Anon a mischievous smirk.

“Hmm? Is it because you’d make her the happiest mare in the world if you did?”

So Twilight wants to play hardball? Anon’s game.

“You know I can’t cheat on my special somepony.”

Twilight is shocked when she hears that.

“Seriously, Anon! You can’t have these ponies spreading rumors, I’ll never hear the end of it!”

Anon rolls his eyes at how serious she is.

“Alright, Twilight. You know I’m just fooling with you.”

Twilight returns to making breakfast, an eerie silence building in the room.

“I... still haven’t found a way to send you back,” Twilight quietly says.

Despite his hopes, Anon was realistic enough to know he shouldn’t expect such a thing just yet. He’s pretty sure she would’ve come to him with a smile on her face if that was true, but she still keeps him informed of her progress, or lack thereof, every single day.

“I know,” Anon says with a stoic expression.

“I know we’ve never talked about it, Anon, but what happens next if I can’t find a way to send you back? It’s already been two months and we’re still just as much in the dark as we were when you arrived.”

Anon rubs a hand over his face. “Not too sure, Twi. Maybe I could go to Canterlot. I’ve got no problem working for Celestia, if she’d allow it.”

Anon met Celestia a while back and he enjoys her company. She isn’t as overbearing as most ponies and, despite her office and the formality which comes with it, she seems normal enough to be around. Twilight scuffs her hoof on the floor.

“You can stay with me...” she whispers. She turns around to face him. “I don’t mind you living here. You can even help around the library if you need money.”

Anon is hesitant to accept her offer. To be honest, he doesn’t even want to think about the possibility of being stuck here; the fear is all too fresh in his mind.

“I don’t think that would be wise.”

“Is it because of Barb?” Twilight deadpans.

“That’s a problem, but not the main reason.”

“Anon, I know Barb can be a bit of a pain, but she likes you; she just doesn’t interact with stallions often.”

That must be a joke.

“Twilight, I highly doubt that Barb likes me.”

“She seems to talk about you a lot. Sure, it isn’t nice, but I find it odd that you’re what’s mostly on her mind.”

“That is neither here nor there, Twi.”

“You could work it out, then! I would just miss you is all.” Twilight looks down to her hooves with glistening eyes.

Anon bites the inside of his cheek. He hates it when Twilight gets emotional. He really likes her, maybe not romantically, but he truly does appreciate all she’s done for him. Standing, Anon walks over to Twilight. He kneels down and wraps his arms around her in a warm embrace. She seems surprised by this but returns the hug with enthusiasm.

“How about this...” Anon speaks up. “I’ll spend some time in Canterlot. Clear my head a bit. When I come back and if there’s still no way for you to send me back, then we can sit down and talk about what I’ll do next.”

Twilight looks up at Anon in surprise.

“Really? You’ll consider it?”

“Absolutely. You’re someone I trust, Twilight. I may tease you, but I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done for me.”

“Deal!” Twilight says with tears of joy. “Should I send a letter to Celestia?”

“That would be great. First, though, we should focus on breakfast.”

Twilight happily prepares everything in record time. The entire table is set and ready just as Barb enters the kitchen. Anon can tell from her shivering that her shower was anything but pleasant.

“How was your shower?” Anon asks with a smug grin.

Growling, the dragon says, “Shut it!” before sitting before her plate and angrily scarfing down her gems.

“Anon, what did you do?” Twilight says in an exasperated tone.

“I just took a shower is all,” he replies, raising his hands. He was the very picture of innocence.

“Using all the hot water!” Barb adds.

Anon shrugs. “What can I say, my skin is delicate. I’m sure your scales insulated you well enough.”

“Well, he is right, Barb.” Twilight says. “I know you’re sensitive to cold, but Anon can feel the very air itself drop in temperature.”

“That’s right. It’s also why I have to wear clothes.”

“That shouldn’t matter!” Barb says with irritation. She points an accusatory claw at the smirking human. “He does this all the time!”

“I know he does; that’s why I take my shower before he wakes up.” Twilight glances at Barb while she pours herself a cup of tea. “Why don’t you do the same and let him sleep in a bit?”

Barb grimaces as she tries her best to think of a way to argue against that, but draws up blank. Anon chuckles.

“Yeah, looks like you’ve got no excuse. Twilight is right. If you want to take a shower with hot water then you better take one before me instead of bothering me every morning.”

Barb shakes in place. She takes a claw full of gems, shoves them into her mouth and stands up to leave. She doesn’t even spare Anon a second glance.

“I’m going to see Rarity,” Barb stiffly announces.

Giving no chance for reply, the dragon stomps out of the room in anger. Soon after, the sounds of her stomping fade away once the front door is slammed shut. Twilight shakes her head with a huff as she looks over at Anon.

“Are you happy?” she testily asks.


“You need to stop being so cruel to Barb. I know that when you’re teasing me it’s all in good fun and I accept that, but I get the feeling that you actually want to hurt Barb’s feelings.”

Anon rests his hand on the table. “I don’t mean to do it on purpose, Twi. Barb just has this way of getting under my skin. Since I got here, we’ve never seen eye to eye on anything.”

“Barb is having a tough time adjusting to her new body and you need to be accepting of that.”

“So it’s my fault that she’s going through some kind of weird dragon puberty?”

“I didn’t say that, but you know what it’s like going through a change like that. She constantly bumps her head because of her height, she can look Celestia in the eye and she needs to eat a lot more than she used to. You’re probably the only creature here that can even remotely relate to her. You hover over Celestia, you eat meat and ponies are always staring at you. When she was little not many gave her a second glance, but now she’s the talk of any town she walks into because of how different she is. Doesn’t that seem familiar to you?”

Ugh... Anon hates when Twilight pulls out the guilt trip speech. Anon crosses his arms with his eyes closed. As much as he wants to argue with her, she’s right. That little purple freak is in the same boat as him. It’s probably worse because of all the whispers surrounding dragons. There isn’t anything about humans here, so ponies mostly think Anon is just some weird monkey. All in all, it must suck to be Barb right now.

“I’ll think about it.” Anon stands up. “I’m going to pack a bag for my trip.”

Twilight does a double take. “You’re leaving now?”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know, I thought it wouldn’t be for a few days.”

“Papa is a rolling stone, Twi. I gotta get moving before I start to gather moss.”

Twilight rolls her eyes. “I’ll write the letter to Celestia, then. Do you need any bits for the train ride?”

Anon shakes his head. “Nah, Rainbow owes me. I intend to pay her a visit.”

“Just don’t play too rough with her. Last time you dislocated something.”

Anon shrugs. “What can I say? I’m a passionate and virile human.”

“Will you just go and pack your things!” Twilight exclaims

“Sure thing, sweetheart.” Anon walks by Twi, but not before he gives her a kiss on the top of her head. He barely dodges the swat the unicorn throws at him. “Love ya!”

“Ugh! You jerk!” Is all Anon hears as he walks to his room.

Anon’s things are packed and ready for him to leave. He just has one last thing he needs to do: He needs to get those bits from Rainbow Dash. Anon travels down the streets of Ponyville towards her cloud home. It’s been awhile since he’s been there. For the most part, Anon just chills with Twilight at the library, so Rainbow comes over randomly and the both of them go out to do stuff. They mostly drink and get into fights. She’s an interesting pony to hang with. By now Anon is at her home and he’s happy to see that it’s floating a bit low today.

Anon continues until he’s directly under it. He can hear the napping mare’s rumbling snores from where he stands. Seriously, that mare has a problem. Still, she’s loud enough for him to guess where she’s sleeping. Anon reaches down and picks up a sizable rock, reels his hand back and with all his power tosses the rock up. It pierces the cloud with ease and flies towards his target. Anon hears a thud from inside.

“Ouch! Who in the hay did that?!”

Rainbow quickly flies out of her home ready to pound some ponies face, until she notices Anon’s smug face.

“Rise and shine, Crashie!” Anon shouts. “Now get down here; we got business to attend.”

Rainbow lets out a groan. “Business” with Anon is never a good thing. She floats down and lands in front of him.

“This better be important.”

“It is. Give me your bits.”

She reels. “What?!”

“You heard me; cough em up.”


“I need money and that’s all you need to know. So give me your money.”

“Why so sudden?! I’ve got bills to pay!”

“What bills? The monthly subscription to Wonder monthly or the obscene amount of cider you buy from Applejack?”

“It’s none of your business what I do with my money! How in the hay do you know about that stuff anyways?”

Anon rubs his chin with a smirk on his face. “I have my ways, but regardless, you owe me, Rainbow.”

“I don’t owe you anything,” she denies.

Anon gives her a stern look as he crosses his arms.

“I know for a fact that it’s not normal to give ponies wing massages.”

The fur on Rainbow’s body is standing on end. “W-What?”

“I asked Twilight about wing massages and she told me all about them... You dirty little pony.”

Rainbow Dash grunts, suddenly finding the ground to be interesting. “I-I was really stressed, alright?”

Anon crouches down to eye level with Rainbow. He reaches out and uses a hand to lift her chin. He shakes his head with a disappointed look.

“You broke my heart, Crashie. Aren’t you going to do the right thing?”

She slaps his hoof away with a scoff. “Don’t try to act so innocent! Did you forget about that blo-”

Anon covers Rainbow’s mouth to stop her from speaking. “I thought we promised to never speak about that again.”

She shakes his hand off her mouth. “Yeah? Well, I still remember it as clear as day, Buddy.”

“You and I both know we were drunk off our asses!”

“We were, but we were also drunk when you gave me that wing massage.”

Damn, she had him there.

“Come on, Dash! Can’t you just give a friend a large portion of your money with no questions asked?”

Rainbow looks at him with a deadpan expression. “Just tell me why you need the bits.”

“Ugh! Fine! I’m heading to Canterlot today. I need some time alone to think about a few things; Twi just told me that she might not be able to send me home.”

Rainbow nods slightly. “I guess that does suck. Why not let Twilight pay?”

“Because she pays for literally everything I do, Rainbow. You owe me! Not just for the massage but for everything else I do for you!”

Rainbow rolls her eyes “Alright, I get it.” She reaches with one of her wings and pulls out a bit pouch, tossing it at Anon. “You’re lucky I got bits to spare.”

“Thanks, Dash.”

Anon can feel the weight of the pouch, it’ll be enough to get him to Canterlot and back. When he puts it into his pocket he notices Dash looking up at him.

“So... One massage for the road?” Rainbow asks.

Anon looks around to see that no one is around. He looks back at Dash and shrugs.


Rainbow smiles largely as she pounces on him.

Anon is covered in fur and feathers. Not a very becoming look but it’s to be expected. Wing massages are basically like rubbing a pegasus’ G-spot. Since their hooves are so rounded, it doesn’t seem as effective when they do it, but when Anon uses his hands, well, that’s a different matter entirely. He can hit with pinpoint accuracy. Doing something like that with Rainbow should be weird, but Anon doesn’t care much. He’s not interested in her and she’s been clear in the fact that there’s no love shared between them, just some stress relief here and there.

Anon is cool with that. It’s probably because of Rainbow that Anon’s gotten over some of his insecurities, like being shy while naked or having sex with a pony. He’d walk down the street of Ponyville in the buff if it wasn’t so chilly. Still, that’s neither here nor there. He needs to head on back to get ready and then he’ll head off to Canterlot to relax. Anon walks into the library and is ready to leave but finds a certain purple dragon standing in front of him, a look of pure hate in her eyes.

“Can I help you?” Anon asks.

“So you’re leaving?”

“Yup, you here to gloat?”

She narrows her eyes at him. “You were going to leave without telling me,” she states matter-of-factly.

Anon runs a hand over his head. “Do I need to check in with you for every little thing I do?”

“Yes! You can’t be trusted!”

“Well tough luck, kid. I’m getting my bag and then I’m out.”

Anon notices that she doesn’t get angry, in fact, her expression grows cocky.

“I’m going with you,” Barb irreverently declares.

Anon takes a second to process what she just said. She can’t be serious. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. I’m not going to let you cause trouble for the Princess, so I’m going with you to keep you in line.”

Anon stares at her for a few seconds before he pushes past her.

“Twilight!” Anon marches towards her room. He throws her door open and finds her reading a book. “Twilight, what the fuck is going on?!”

“Barb wants to go with you to Canterlot.” Twilight doesn’t even bother looking away from her book.

“And you said yes?!”

Flipping a page, she asks, “Why not?”

“Did you forget what we just talked about?”

Twilight sets her book down and looks at Anon. She then notices the blue mess coating his clothes.

“Um, Anon... What is that?”

“Rainbow’s fur and feathers. Stop trying to change the subject.”

Twilight lifts her muzzle into the air and catches a scent. She reels back as she looks at Anon.

“Is that―!?”

“I said stop changing the subject!”

Twilight can only shake her head as she tries to ignore the obvious reek of sex. She grimaces as she decides to get back on topic.

“I remember what we talked about, Anon, yes. And I also remember telling you to be more kind and understanding to Barb. I think this is the perfect opportunity for the both of you to get to know each other. I’m not going to have you two at each other's throats anymore.”

Anon trembles as he tries to contain his rage. “Twilight, this isn’t the time for your stupid lessons on friendship. I got enough on my plate without that nuisance nagging me at every turn.”

“No matter how much you try to avoid her, there’s no changing the fact that when you come back, Barb will still be here and you two will still be arguing day after day if things remain the way they are. Nothing will change, even if we have to plan your future in Equestria. Please, Anon... Just do this one thing for me?”

Twilight gives him puppy dog eyes, her lip quivering. Anon quickly looks away with a grunt. Ugh! Damn this purple headache and her altruistic garbage! He feels obligated to give her this one thing, considering all she’s done for him.

“I... You can’t... Ugh!” Anon is speechless. “Fine! I’ll take the little brat with me!”

“Thank you,” Twilight says, her expression morphing into one of self-satisfaction. “I’ve sent a letter to the Princess and she’ll have a room ready for the both of you. Now, excluding your little tumble with Rainbow Dash, did you get the bits from her?”

Anon nods. “Yup.”

“Good. I made sure that Barb had her own bits as well.”

Anon sighs dejectedly. He was hoping to have a nice and relaxing vacation to clear his thoughts but now Barb will be there. Everything about her just makes him feel irritated.

“Fantastic... I’m taking a shower, I’ll gather my things and then I’m out of here.”

“Take care of Barb,” Twilight reminds him. She picks up her book and opens it to where she left off.

Grumbling, Anon takes his leave... Twilight is probably having a giggle at his expense. Anon enters his room and grabs the bag that he packed. He quickly searches through it and finds that nothing is out of order. He slings the bag over his shoulder and heads to the bathroom. It won’t take long for him to get ready.

Barb is sitting in the living room with a small bag of her own as Anon gets out of the shower. He walks down the stairs and towards the door.

“Let’s go,” Anon grunts, not losing stride.

Barb hops to her feet and follows Anon. He can practically feel the smug look on her face burning into his neck as he walks to the train station. Anon is quick to pay for his ticket and just as quick to get on the train. He takes a seat in the corner and exhales a long-suffering sigh. Can’t he just be left alone for a change? Sure he wasn’t expecting Barb to be coming with him to Canterlot, but this is his vacation; he needs to chill. Barb enters his view as she takes a seat across from him. She’s still got that smirk on her face.

“If you don’t wipe that dumb grin off of your reptilian face, I’m going to have to slap a bitch.” Anon growls.

Barb ignores his threat. “It’s been awhile since I’ve been to Canterlot. I hope the Princess is doing well.”

“She lives a life of luxury. Pretty sure she’s doing more than well.”

“You should watch the way you gripe about the Princess.” Barb reprimands.

“Celestia finds my blunt attitude charming.”

“My flank.” Barb says under her breath.

“Yeah, you should move it. You know there are plenty of seats available. You don’t have to sit with me like a little filly who needs her hoof held.”

Barb sneers at Anon. “Yeah? Last I checked you don’t own this seat. I can sit wherever I want.”

“I was here first.”

“And? I’m a girl.”

“Says you!”

Narrowing her eyes, Barb angrily leans forward. “What was that?!”

Anon and Barb are locked in a showdown as their faces are only inches apart from one another. Before things get out of hand they hear someone clear their throat. It’s enough to bring them from their staring match.

“Would you like some refreshments?” a mare asks hesitantly after what she just witnessed.

Anon and Barb lean back into their seats, calming down a bit.

“Sure. Water is fine,” Anon says.

The mare nods and sets a glass of water next to him. She looks over at Barb, who just shakes her head, waving the mare off. The refreshment mare returns her gaze to Anon, a curious look about her.

“I’m sorry to intrude, but may I ask what you are? I’ve never seen anything quite like you.”

“Human,” Anon answers as if it’s second nature. “It’s a bit of a long story and I wouldn’t want to bore a lovely mare such as yourself.”

The mare’s ears perk as she hears Anon’s compliment while Barb only seems to be annoyed by it.

“Oh my, well, it takes awhile for the train to get to Canterlot. I don’t mind.”

Anon feels a smirk stretch his lips. If he’s going to have to endure this brat’s unwanted company during his vacation, then he’s not going to pull any punches.

“You don't? Well, perhaps we can talk in private? I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble.”

“Oh, sir. There’s no need to be worried, I won’t get i-”

“Nonsense! No need to disturb the rest of the farers.”

The mare looks around the cabin; there are a few ponies around but not that many.

“I guess you have a point...”

Anon gets up from his seat and rests a hand on the mare’s withers.

“I’m sure there’s a cabin for us to use. I can teach you all you’ll ever need to know about humans.”

The mare now has a blush on her face as she nods slightly. “S-Sure.”

Anon shows the mare off as he looks over his shoulder at Barb. He can see a pure fire burning in her eyes as he waggles his eyebrows, to which she just lets out a sharp snort and locks her gaze out the window. This trip might actually be a good one after all.

Anon and the mare stumble out of the cabin covered in sweat and fluids. The mare has a noticeable limp as she leans against the cabin door for a bit, and his clothes are rumpled

“I-I didn’t know humans lasted so long,” she says trying to catch her breath.

“It’s one of the many things we’re known for.” Anon smirks and wiggles his fingers at her, causing her to blush again. “Hope you learned a thing or two from your ‘studies’.”

“I-I need to get back to work before my boss notices I’ve been absent.”

“Alright. See you some other time, Easy.”

“Bye, Anon,” she replies, taking her time walking down the aisle.

Anon stands beside the cabin, watching Easy Breeze limp away with pride. Well, Anon feels a lot better now. He turns around and walks back to where Barb is. When he gets there he notices that she’s still looking out of the window with a look of barely restrained anger. Was she really sitting there brooding the entire time? Anon takes his seat.

“How’s the scenery, Grumpy Scales?” he smarmily says.

“Does it look like I want to talk to y-” She looks over at him with a raised brow, sniffing the air. “Why do you smell like Rainbow Dash? And why is it so… potent?”

Anon looks down at himself and catches his scent. What is she talking abo-... Oh! Anon smirks as he looks at Barb.

“Do you not know what this smell is?”

Barb shakes her head.

“It’s sex, kid.”

Her eyes widen at that. “Gross! Who would want to do that with you?!”

“Rainbow, that mare I just met... I even have a sneaking suspicion that Twilight wouldn’t mind either.”

“Take that back!”

“Why should I? It’s not like I’m lying to you.”

“There’s no way my sister would be interested in a creature as disgusting and shameless as you!”

“You’d be surprised how many mares like me. To be perfectly honest I don’t think there is a single mare that doesn’t like me...” Anon then locks eyes with Barb. “Well, except you.”

“Maybe I would if you weren’t so lazy and disrespectful! You make messes and you aren’t considerate for how anyone feels!”

Anon rolls his eyes. “I’m not going to argue with you right now. I just blew my load and I’m still riding this high.”

Barb bites her lip hard enough to almost draw blood. She suddenly gets up and walks down the cabin. Anon hates dealing with emotional people. He feels sorry for what his parents had to go through with him and his sister growing up. Wait... Does that make Twilight his wife? Weird... Anon looks around and notices a few ponies looking his way.

“Nothing to see here, folks! Just a human and a dragon having a small fight.”

All the ponies return to their own business as Anon leans back in his seat. He feels great right now. He’ll probably even catch a few Z’s before they reach their destination.

“Arriving in Canterlot!” The pony conductor shouts, walking down the length of their carriage.

Anon wakes up from his nap and finds that everyone is already gathering their belongings. He stands up, does a small stretch and grabs his bag from the overhead compartment. When he looks around he realizes Barb is still yet to return. Not only is she absent, but her bags are missing as well. Anon did promise to look after her, so he begrudgingly does a quick check around the train, but it comes up empty. She must’ve already left the train, he muses, so he walks out onto the platform and does a quick scan of the station.

It’s easy enough to spot her, seeing as she’s taller than all the ponies around her. She’s storming out of the station, in the rough direction of the castle, probably upset over what happened. It doesn’t matter to him, so Anon follows after her at his own pace. As he follows her, from a short distance he begins to notice something: he can see how all the ponies around are looking Barbs way, or moving from her path. And not only that, but as he walks past the same ponies he can hear a few snippets of what they are saying about her.

“What is a dragon doing here, in Canterlot?”

“Such uncultured beasts. Shouldn’t she be among her own kind?”

“Outrageous. How could the Princess allow such a ghastly thing in the capital?”

Anon keeps his eyes on Barb and watches as she slowly comes to notice the stares and whispers from the ponies around her. Her anger swiftly becomes subdued as she starts to look somewhat dazed and confused. Anon should be feeling great about this—she’s getting a taste of her own medicine for once—but as he listens to more of the bile leaking from the mouths of these uptight racists, he feels guilty by proxy. Upon closer inspection, the young dragoness is on the verge of tears.

“Stupid kid.” Anon mumbles under his breath as he quickens his pace. He reaches Barb’s side and walks beside her. “So were you hoping I would stay asleep long enough that the train would go back to Ponyville? This is my vacation first and foremost, dummy. You’re just tagging along.”

Barb seems to snap back to reality as she looks up at Anon. Her scared look returns to the normal sneer he is used to, though it has greatly diminished. For some strange reason that actually makes Anon feel better.

She crosses her arms, facing away from him as they walk. “I’m not talking to you.”

“You just did,” he points out. She narrows her eyes. “Any reason as to why?” Barb opens her mouth but then shuts it firmly again. “Are you really going to give me the silent treatment?” She nods. “Good. Guess this weekend will be a good one after all.”

She lets out a snort, refusing to acknowledge him. At least she’s back to normal, although maybe Anon should’ve left her to suffer a little longer... No, that didn’t feel like the right thing to do at the time. When he’s making fun of her it’s one thing, but it just rubs Anon the wrong way when someone else does it. Especially with how cruel these ponies were being. They were hurling abuses that not even Anon would say to Barb... Sure he says mean stuff, but he’s never called her a monster or a beast. She’s a nuisance, but that makes her no less an equal to him. He remembers his first time walking through Canterlot too. Heck, if it wasn’t for Barb being with him, they’d probably still be calling him a mindless, hairless ape.

Anon rubs the back of his neck in unease. Dammit, Twi! Her friendship trite is starting to become toxic. Anon looks over at Barb as she continues to pout. Anon doesn’t know why he dislikes her so much. She’s not a bad kid. He knows all about all the good work she does: she helps all the fillies and colts in Ponyville if they have any problems; she helps Twilight and the Princess with whatever they need; and she’s a diligent worker who takes pride in what she does. She’s even helped save Equestria on more than a few occasions. Anon knows how great she is and yet he’s never seen this side of her.

There’s always been a strange tension between them, as if one wrong move will break them out into a fight. He knows that she’s going through a change with her body; he can see it. As Anon looks her over, he notices her shapely figure. She has curves in all the right places and her taller stature makes her a head shorter than him. So she’s pretty much the only creature that doesn’t have to strain their neck too much to look at him, with the exception of Celestia of course. So why all the hate? He doesn’t actually know, but it almost seems natural at this point, like that’s just the relationship they have.

Anon shifts his weight from one foot to the other. Twi is right. Barb is going through a major change in her life. Sure she’s a pain in the ass, but what teen isn’t? Perhaps Anon should lay off her a bit more than he normally would? It’s the least he can do for Twilight, and it’s not like the two being at one another’s throats for this trip will make it in any way relaxing. So with all that figured out, Anon decides to play it cool. He reaches over and rests his arm on Barb’s shoulder and pulls her to his side.

“Calm down, Grumpy Scales. This is supposed to be a weekend where I can relax. So why don’t you just chill?”

Barb looks up at Anon in surprise. He’s never touched her before. She quickly shrugs off his arm with a large blush on her face.

“W-Well, if you behave yourself, then perhaps I won’t need to get so worked up.”

“I guess I can’t argue with that.” Anon can see that they’re only a few minutes from the castle. “Let’s get going. We shouldn’t keep Her Highness waiting, right?”

Barb gives Anon a small nod as the both of them start to walk a little faster. It’s a small step but Anon feels as if he’s taking the right direction.

Anon and Barb walk into the throne room where Celestia is seated. Anon opens his arms wide.

“Celestia, as I live and breath!” he shouts.

He brings Celestia out of her reading of a request form. The Solar Princess looks up, smiles gently and sets the paperwork aside.

“It is good to see you, Anon. It has come to my attention that you are going to be staying in Canterlot for awhile?”

Anon continues his approach, eschewing custom and decorum in a way that would usually be unacceptable to the guards tending to Her Highness if not for their familiarity, coming to a stop just before the Princess.

“You heard right, Princess. I hope we aren’t bothering you too much?”

She shakes her head. “No bother at all. You know I always welcome your company.”

“And you know I love looking at you.”

Celestia giggles. “Still suave as ever, I see.”

“Yet not suave enough for you, it seems.”

She rolls her eyes. “I’ll give you points for persistence, but you’ll need far more than that if you wish to get anywhere. I’ve heard it all, Anon.”

“Is that so? How about the mile high club?”

“A bit dangerous for each pegasus, but enjoyable.”

Anon rubs his chin. “Alright, you got me. Still, I wouldn’t mind showing you humanity’s endurance.” Anon waggles his eyebrows at her.

Celestia’s smile turns sly. “And I wouldn’t want to send you back to my student a broken mess.”

“Challenge accepted!”

Celestia giggles again. “I think I like how things are between us as is.”

Anon smiles largely at her. “I’ll get you one day,” he promises.

“Perhaps on your deathbed, I will grant you one last wish?”

“Woah. Now that’s a great way to die.”

The both of them laugh a bit at their exchange. Celestia looks past Anon and Anon follows her gaze. They can see Barb has her jaw hanging open. Now that Anon thinks about it, this is the first time he and Celestia have ever spoke like this with someone else around. Celestia, being the wisest and most smooth of all creatures, doesn’t even skip a beat as she turns to face Barb.

“Hello, Barb. How are you doing today?” Celestia asks.

Barb picks up her jaw from the floor. “U-Um... Good?”

“That’s nice to hear. Twilight said in her letter that you also wished to come to Canterlot. It should go without saying, but you are always welcome in the castle.”

Barb regains her composure, bowing. “Thank you, Princess. I just came to make sure Anon doesn’t get into trouble.”

Celestia looks over at Anon. “He does tend to get into a bit of a quandary every now and again.”

Anon can only shrug at that.

Barb puffs out her chest. “You can count on me, Princess! That’s why I’m going to be by Anon’s side to ensure that everything is in order.”

“Dedicated as always, Barb,” Celestia says, a glint of amusement in her eyes. “Your room is prepared. I hope you two don’t mind sleeping in the same place.”

“What?!” Anon and Barb shout in unison.

“I’m terribly sorry, but I’ve been renovating the guest rooms and only one is currently finished. Not to worry. There are two beds, so you will not be forced to sleep with each other.”

Barb and Anon look at each other and then back at Celestia. If it’s the only room then there’s nothing they can do about that, so they accept their fate all the same.

“I guess it’ll have to do.” Anon’s eyes then snap to the Princess. “You sure we can’t share a bed?” He points between her and him.

That smile is back on Celestia’s lips. “I wouldn’t want to leave any room for temptation. However, if you wish to share a bed, how about my sister?”

Anon feels a chill run up his spine. Luna... Now that’s something he doesn’t even want to think about. It’s not that she’s interested in him, just that she gives off this weird aura that makes Anon feel wrong whenever she’s around. He doesn’t know why and she genuinely seems like an alright pony, but again, there’s just something off about her. Like a screw has come loose. Or twenty.

“...I think I’m fine with the current arrangement.”

Celestia nods. “Very well. Outside of accommodations, is there anything else I can assist you two with?” Anon is about to open his mouth but Celestia cuts him off. “Anything that doesn’t involve relations?” Anon closes his mouth. “Good. Now I’ll have a guard show you to your room and then you may do whatever you wish, so long as you do not cause trouble.” She casts an uncharacteristically serious gaze the human’s way with that. “Please enjoy your stay.”

“Alright. See you later, Celly belly,” Anon says as he walks away from her throne.

Barb gives a standing bow. “Goodbye, Princess.”

“I’ll see you two at dinner,” Celestia says.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Anon says as he stands next to the door. “You coming?” Anon calls to Barb.

She’s quick to return from her bow and walk over to the door. Anon shakes his head as he lets her walk out first, he then looks at Celestia, points at her with his left hand and makes a V with his right hand as he sticks his tongue through it. Celestia smirks as she leans back slightly, giving him a glimpse of her marehood. Anon is stuck looking and doesn’t see the golden glow of her magic as she pushes him out and closes the door.

“What are you doing?” Barb asks.

Anon has to shake his head slightly to regain his focus. He can only assume that what he experienced is what it would be like to look at the face of god. He shakes away his stupor and faces Barb.

“Just a bit dazed. Anyways, let’s get to this room.”

Barb can only look at him with a raised brow but decides against asking any further questions.

“Follow me,” a guard says as he leads the way.

With nothing else being said, Barb and Anon follow the guard to their room.

“Here is your room.” The guard says opening the door for them.

Anon steps into the room first and has a look around. He will admit that the redecoration looks rather nice. It seems that Celestia has gone with a color mixture between her sister and herself and somehow not made it an eyesore. A lot of gold and white with blue and silver strewn across the room. Anon looks over to see that Barb has stars in her eyes. It must be a female thing. He drops his bag onto the floor and explores a bit more, walking out of the larger room and towards what he assumes is the bedroom.

He pops his head inside and finds two full sized beds sitting side by side, with only a dresser between them. Inside, he notices another door. Peeking within, he finds that it’s the bathroom. Pretty large too and just as fancy as the rest of the room; not that he’d expect anything less. He’s not typically one to gush about such things but there is a stark contrast between this and Twilight’s bathroom. He closes the door and goes back to the larger sitting area. Not really a living room, since this is a castle. Do castles have living rooms? Again he shrugs it off as he walks over to a couch and falls onto it from the armrests side.

“This place sure is nice,” Anon says to himself, eyes wandering.

“Do you mind?”

Anon leans his head up and finds Barb is sitting on the couch as well, a book in her hand. His head is only a few inches from her lap.

“I don’t.” Anon puts his arms behind his head and closes his eyes. “I’m taking a nap. Wake me up in a few minutes.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because if you don’t, I’ll annoy you when I wake up.”

“You’re saying that what I’ve been dealing with this whole time is you being ‘pleasant’?”


“Hmph. Whatever.” Barb goes back to reading her book.

Anon feels tired from all the sex he’s gotten today, and the time spent on the train wasn’t enough to recharge his batteries. Time to take a power nap.

As Anon rests Barb is stuck reading her book. Not really reading but mostly looking at the open page. She finds her gaze drifting towards Anon’s sleeping form. She hates him so much. He makes her feel weird inside, like she’s full of air or butterflies. She wishes that wasn’t the only thing she disliked about him but everything else seems trivial in comparison.

It’s not even that. Whenever she tries to act nice, she finds herself saying mean things to him, oftentimes without meaning to. She doesn’t know why she does that but it feels natural. At least she’s more grounded when she’s angry.

Barb spent some time with Rarity and tried to figure out why she’s feeling this way. Rarity insinuated it was because she had a crush on Anon, but that doesn’t even make sense! How could she like someone like him? He’s an inconsiderate jerk who doesn’t care about what others want: teasing Twilight, using all the hot water, doing whatever it is that he does with Rainbow Dash. Just the thought of that is enough to make Barb’s blood boil. But why? It’s not like they’re dating. He can see whoever he wants. Yet, why does it hurt so much inside when she thinks about it? Barb is still looking at Anon as she closes her book and sets it on the counter beside her.

She feels so different inside when he’s asleep. She reaches over with her left claw and gently rests it on his cheek. His skin is so soft and yet there’s a rugged texture to it. She traces his jawline and runs a claw back up to his hair. She still doesn’t understand why he only has this small patch but it doesn’t really matter to her. She can feel her heart racing as she leans over him slightly so she can face him properly. There’s a reason she doesn’t take a shower before him, a reason she’s never told anypony about... It’s because she doesn’t want to miss the chance to see him like this. She just wants to pretend that the purity of these little moments is how it’s always been.

Yet she knows that as soon as he wakes up, she’ll turn into another creature. Barb feels her eyes start to water. That’s why ponies are wary of her now. Sure, most of the fillies and colts that know her aren’t afraid but there are still plenty of ponies that are. She doesn’t like how ponies are treating her now. When she was little no pony said a word but now all she hears is their whispers. And there’s only one creature that knows how she feels. Barb was there when he came to Ponyville. She knows how everypony jeered and taunted him behind his back.

Yet he never gave in. Even to this day he’s still just as strong as he was back then. She wishes she could be like that. Yet she’s fragile. Her heart hurts the more ponies ridicule her and she’s too afraid to tell Twilight about it. She doesn’t want anypony to worry about something they can’t fix. Barb notices a tear hit Anon’s face. She quickly reaches to her face and clears it, then she uses her other claw to clear the tear from his face. Maybe this is a chance for her to change their relationship? Maybe they can finally come to understand one another?

Anon feels something poke him. He stirs a bit in his sleep for the most part ignores it. The poke comes again but with twice as much force. With a grunt, he opens his eyes and finds that Barb is leaning over him.

“Wake up,” she says curtly.


“You told me to wake you up in a few minutes. It’s been a few minutes.”

Anon sits up and looks over at a clock. Looks like it’s been ten minutes. He lets out a yawn and stretches in place, pushing his hands into Barb.

“Will you watch out!” she says irritatedly.

“Excuse me, Princess,” Anon says as gets up off the couch.

“Where are you going?” Barb asks.

“Taking a shower.” Anon doesn’t want to walk around smelling like a mare. “I’ll be out in five minutes. Make sure you’re ready.”

Barb raises a brow at Anon. “Ready for what?”

“We’re going out. If you’re going to follow me wherever I go, then you might as well look presentable.”

“What’s wrong with how I look?”

Anon stops and turns around to face Barb.

“You’ve lived here for as long as Twilight has. So I shouldn’t need to tell you that these ponies always wear clothes. So if you’re going to walk around, it better be in a dress.”

“A dress?!”

“Yes, now get to it.”

“I have to take a shower too!”

“You’re not as dirty as me. I’m sure you will manage just fine.”

That’s all Anon is willing to say as he walks into the bathroom. He takes a deep breath in and slowly lets it out. He’s just gotta stay calm and play this right. He’ll take Barb to do stupid stuff that she likes and if he plays his cards right then maybe they can get to a point where they can stand one another. It’s still pretty rough but Anon will persevere.

Barb pouts as she digs through her bag. Sure Rarity made her pack more than a few dresses but she didn’t actually think she would be wearing them. When she lived in Canterlot she didn’t wear a single thing but admittedly that was when she was younger. Still, that shouldn’t change because she’s older! She picks up a purple dress with green trimming. Then again, Rarity did put a lot of work into these dresses. Not to mention that maybe if she dressed the part ponies wouldn’t look at her so contemptuously?

Barb can’t help but wonder what Anon plans to do. Barb snorts out a puff of smoke. He’s probably only looking to pick up a few easy lays. She grits her teeth as those thoughts come to mind. He’s such a jerk! He would do something like that! Barb quickly snaps herself out of those thoughts. No! She needs to try to be nice... Maybe it won’t be that bad? Barb once again looks at the dress in her claws. She can only hope.

Anon jumps out of the shower feeling like a million bucks! He’s dressed to impress and now he can get this show on the road. Seeing as this is his vacation, he needs to get this whole “friendship” thing with Barb over with quickly so he can spend some quality time for himself. Anon walks into the main room and is stunned by what he finds. Sitting on the couch reading is Barb but she’s wearing an elegant dress. For some reason, Anon likes what he sees. Definitely looks like Rarity’s hoof work: the green trim accents her spines and the purple has a shine to it.

Anon shakes himself from his stupor and enters the room.

“You ready?” he asks.

“I am.” Barb says as she sets her book down and turns to face Anon.

Barb now finds herself a bit dazed by what she sees. Anon has cleaned up a lot: his hair is combed, he’s wearing a suit and he even shaved the hair on his face. That bubbly tide rises yet again inside of her as she looks at him. Not only that but she also finds herself wondering as to what Anon has planned that was so special that he needed to so carefully groom himself.

“Well, we’re burning daylight,” Anon says.

Barb is brought from her thoughts. She quickly gets up.

“I know!” She lets out a snort. “I’m just surprised that you’ve cleaned up so much.”

If Barb is one thing, it’s honest.

“We are in Canterlot,” Anon states, tapping a foot as his eyes flicker to his attire. “Now let’s go.”

Barb gets off the couch and follows Anon to the door. As he reaches for the handle, he hesitates for a moment, scanning the young dragoness with an unreadable expression.

“You look good too.”

With that said he exits the room, leaving Barb in shock. Again she is visited by those butterflies in her stomach. Did Anon just compliment her? Her face burns magnificently as she considers this. No, no he’s just messing with her. That’s all it is, right? A harmless joke? With some trouble, she eventually regains her composure and follows the human out of the room.

Barb finds Anon patiently awaiting her. Maybe he’s trying to make amends too? Barb gulps hard as Anon turns, quickening her pace until they are walking side by side. She’ll wait and see to be sure. It could just be another prank.

Anon hasn’t a clue on where to take Barb. The fact of the matter is he knows almost next to nothing about her. Sure he’s seen what she does in Ponyville, but he doesn’t know anything personal. He never cared to ask Twilight and definitely never talked to Barb about herself. He will admit though that there is one thing that’s been concerning him about Barb since she’s been growing and changing: Does she need to eat meat?

An odd question but it’s not a new one; Twilight has been talking to him about it for a while. She was concerned with Barb’s diet because not only does she almost eat her weight in gems, but her scales have also been steadily losing their luster. Anon did agree that it seemed odd that she ate so many gems, and yet neither of them knew a single thing about dragons to know for sure whether it was healthy or not.

Anon may not like Barb but he doesn’t want her to fall sick or die. Anon’s ruminations are drowned out by a loud roar. His head snaps over to Barb in surprise as she self-consciously covers her stomach in embarrassment.

Wow, that was impressive in its own right. Anon could have sworn that was an actual fully grown dragon producing such a cacophony. Barb is practically starving from the sounds of it, and this just further proves the point. Perhaps now would be the best time to test his theory out? Anon knows of a nice place in Canterlot that caters to meat eaters.

Keeping this in mind, Anon leads the way to their destination. Back when Anon was in Canterlot Celestia informed him of this place’s existence. Seeing as meat-eating diplomats seldom came to the capital, she never kept the castle stores stocked unless she knew they were coming ahead of time. Ever since he’d first been graced by the taste flavorful, succulent steaks which ignited a primal part within him, he has fallen for the place.

They arrive in good time and Anon, gentleman as he can be, opens the door and allows Barb in first. Giving the human an appreciative smile, Barb walks into the restaurant, only to be daunted by the atmosphere. Did he hear her stomach earlier? It must have been loud if he decided to come here first. That makes Barb’s tail swish excitedly as Anon walks up to a well-dressed griffin behind a podium of sorts, the two exchanging a few words. The griffin nods and waves for them to follow.

As they enter the restaurant proper, the young dragoness discovers a lot of griffins are present. In fact, she doesn’t see a single pony. There is also a certain tangy scent in the air that makes her mouth water.

The griffin shows them to a table for two. Anon and Barb take their seats and the griffin leaves them with their menus, bowing politely before he departs. Barb picks up her menu and looks it over, her eyes widening in shock: There’s nothing but meat on the menu!

“You know,” Anon catches Barb’s attention. “I’ve been wondering... You seem to eat a lot of gems for a girl your size.”

Indignant at such a rude assertion, Barb puffs her cheeks. “I-It’s natural!”

“I don’t think so.”

Anon takes her menu and lifts both of theirs into the air. The waiter comes by and takes them.

“What would you like, sir?” he asks.

“Two hydra steaks, medium rare. Water is fine as well.”

The waiter nods. “Very well. Your food will arrive shortly.”

Barb gapes at the human in disbelief. Does he really expect her to eat meat?

“I’m not eating meat!” she says with finality.

“Yes, you are,” Anon coolly responds, crossing his fingers. He drinks in the atmosphere of the restaurant, from the griffins happily chatting at their tables, to the grand chandeliers hanging overhead, bathing the place in a warm, golden light, to the strikingly tantalizing aroma permeating the air of sizzling meats of all cuts.

Growling, Barb says, “Anon, I’m serious! I won’t touch anything that came from another living creature; it’s- it’s wrong!”

“So you’re just going to let your food get cold?” he says, raising a brow. “That’s rather rude of you.”

Barb flinches, baring her teeth at the barbarian. “What do you have to gain from this, huh? Was your scheme to torture me this entire trip? Do you think this is funny!”

“Quite the opposite, actually.” Barb scoffs. “I’m rather worried about you.”

Narrowing her eyes, Barb ignores the heat warming her cheeks.This has to be some kind of trick.

“W-Why would you be worried about me?”

“I’m not too sure if you noticed, but you eat around thirty pounds worth of gems a day, Barb. I don’t care what you say, that’s not natural.”

“And eating meat is?”

“For some species, yeah. You’re like these griffins and I. I think dragons eat meat. That’s nothing to be ashamed of; it’s what your body needs.”

The waiter, true to his word, appears just at this moment and sets the two plates down.

“Enjoy,” he says with a bow before walking off.

Anon motions to the fresh steak lying before Barb.

“If you eat that, I’m sure you’ll feel better. If you don’t like it, then I’ll admit I was wrong and buy you some nice turquoise instead.”

Barb closely observes Anon, trying to identify any hint of dishonesty. She can’t find any malice in his eyes and looking into them just makes her feel weird. Sighing, she slumps in her chair. She does like turquoise. It’s also rude to let food go to waste, as Anon said. Barb looks down to her meal and hesitantly pokes at it with a claw, taking in its scent. She will admit it does smell nice. She looks over and watches how Anon eats. He uses a knife in his left hand to cut while using a fork in his right hand to hold it in place. Barb has never used utensils before. Gems are claw food.

Barb shakily grabs her two utensils and tries to imitate Anon. The human is quick to cut his meat into pieces. He’s always been inclined to dice his steaks before digging in, it just makes enjoying the experience better. Anon looks up from his plate and has to contain his laughter as he watches Barb attempt to cut her food. He admits it looks kinda cute, like a baby trying to use a spoon to eat cereal. Has Barb never used utensils before? Barb looks up to see the smirk on Anon’s face. She lets out a snort as she crosses her arms in frustration.

Anon just shakes his head as he reaches over and takes her plate. Barb looks at Anon, curious as to what he’s doing. He then takes his plate and sets it in front of Barb. He waves to the plate.

“Enjoy,” is all he says before he starts to cut into Barb’s steak.

Barb can feel those butterflies at their apex in her stomach as her breathing hitches. She wants to be outraged by him treating her like a baby but the kindness of the act gives her pause. Eyeing her steak, the dragoness notes each slice is perfectly square. She gulps hard as she takes her fork and pierces one of the pieces.

This is it. She’s about to eat meat. Something she never thought she would do. Barb closes her eyes and opens her mouth as she slowly moves the fork towards her maw.

Anon watches Barb with a bemused expression as she reluctantly puts the meat into her mouth like she’s being forced to eat a pony she knows. The drake chews slowly and swallows. There is a moment of silence as Barb sits there unmoving. Her eyes snap open as she looks down to her plate, takes another piece and eagerly eats it. Then another piece. Then another. Anon more reservedly enjoys his meal, victorious, but as he looks at the enthusiastic meat-eater he notices a hazy look in her reptilian eyes, as though she were only barely able to restrain herself from simply taking the plate and scarfing everything down like a mad animal. Though where there’s a haze, there’s also defiance as her eyes lock to his, showing that while he won the battle, the war was far from over.

Anon decides to not say a word as he enjoys his own meal. He’s glad he could introduce Barb to the joys of well-cooked meat. The both of them eat in silence until nothing is left on their plates. Anon can already tell from the satisfaction on Barb’s face that she’s fuller than she’s ever been.

“How was it?” Anon asks.

Snapping out of her earlier trance, Barb pouts a bit, her eyes once again becoming focused. “It was alright.”

“That’s good. Feeling better?”

Barb rubs her stomach. “I do feel full.”

Well, that proves it. If it wasn’t good for her then it would’ve tasted like poison. If it was poison, she’d be vomiting right now. The fact she is surfeited is significant, seeing as she’d usually have to eat a few pounds worth of gems to even feel slightly full.

“Sorry to tell you this, Barb, but I think you’re a carnivore.”

It takes a moment for Barb to register that in her mind. She’s a meat eater? She can start to feel herself shake a bit at the thought of it.

“I can’t eat meat!” Barb insists in a slightly panicked tone. “If ponies find this out, they’ll avoid me altogether!”

Barb’s terror causes Anon to knit his eyebrows. He needs to try and nip this in the bud before it gets out of control.

“Calm down, Barb. I’m sure we can keep this a secret, but you need to tell Twilight.”

Twilight... She’ll find out... Unpleasant thoughts of being ostracized by the town, of being disowned by her family, cloud Barb’s head.

“What would Twilight think if she knew?” Barb asks in a small voice.

“She wouldn’t care,” Anon confidently asserts. “She doesn’t even care that I eat meat.”

“This is different! I’m her sister! Twilight will probably send me away! She wouldn’t want me near her anymore if she were to realize that… that...”

This is bad. It looks like Barb is having a panic attack. Anon quickly gets up and walks over to Barb’s side. He needs to help her get a grip.

“Listen to me!” Anon shakes her slightly to grab her attention. “Twilight isn’t going to send you away.”

“How would you know?!” she yells as she tries to push Anon away.

“Do you really think Twilight would be so heartless?” Barb stops as she starts to listen to Anon closely. “She’s been worried about you since you’ve been going through this change. She’s spent countless nights trying to understand why you have to eat so many gems, why your scales aren’t as shiny as they used to be and so many other things. She doesn’t know what’s happening to you and I know for a fact she’s been avoiding the meat issue because of how ponies are treating you.”

“W-What?” Barb looks at Anon confused.

“Twilight and I talked about it. She thought you were like me. She could only guess that you were missing nutrients and that’s why you were eating so many gems. Remember when she tried to make you eat flowers?”

Barb nods. She remembers that day. It tasted horrible, like poison. She swore she’d never eat a flower again. In fact, she noticed how much other foods tasted bad as soon as she started changing. She couldn’t even eat hay fries anymore.

“That was a test,” Anon continues. “It didn’t work and when she came to me, she asked if I had any dragons on my world. We don’t, but we do know of them through myth. And even in the myths from my world however far away, dragons ate meat.” Anon takes a breath to compose his thoughts. “Twilight was afraid of that. Not because you need meat but because ponies would look at you differently if they knew. Well, now we know you need it; it’s not something you can ignore anymore.”

Barb has tears in her eyes. So this is just another thing ponies will hate her for? Just another reason for them to treat her like an outcast? Why did she have to be this way?

“...I hate being a dragon,” Barb mutters under her breath.

“You shouldn’t hate what you are,” Anon says. “Even if you weren’t a dragon, others would find things to hate about you. Your looks, the way you dress or even how many friends you have.”

Barb looks up at Anon in shock. “Is that true?”

“Why do you think the Crusaders were picked on so much? You know what those three went through.”

Barb does know. She was pretty close to those three when they were searching for their cutie marks. Sure it turned out alright in the end but that doesn’t take away the years of taunting suffered. Barb looks up and connects eyes with Anon. H-He’s actually being nice. He’s trying to console her. To tell her it’ll be alright. Barb can feel those butterflies again.

Anon can see her coming to her senses. “This isn’t the end of the world.” Anon wipes himself off with a handkerchief. “No one needs to know about your diet either. Heck, they’ll probably think all the meat is for me anyways.”

Barb can feel her eyes start to glisten... Anon is so nice. Her heart skips a beat. W-Why does she feel so weird inside?

“Barb?” Anon notices a vacant look in Barb’s eyes. The human cocks his head. “Hey...” Anon shakes her slightly but she doesn’t come back to reality.

Suddenly Barb faints. Anon quickly grabs her so she doesn’t tumble out of her chair. He presses a finger to her neck and then presses his head against her chest, his eyes wide with concern. She’s still breathing and her heart hasn’t stopped. She must’ve just been overwhelmed with everything that just went down. Anon lets out a relieved sigh. Well, seems he’ll have to carry her back to the castle. Anon looks over to the waiter that is watching from afar and waves him over.


“Get me the check. It seems my friend was a bit flustered.”

The griffin nods. “Very well, sir.”

Anon pays the griffin, leaving him a sizable tip as well, and cradles Barb in his arms as he walks out the restaurant. It’s a good thing that she isn’t that heavy or else he’d contemplate leaving her. It shouldn’t take him long to get her back to the castle.

Barb soon comes to. She feels odd, as if her body is weightless. Not only that but she feels as if she’s moving. Her eyes flutter open. Her head is resting against some sort of fabric. Did she fall asleep helping Rarity again? No, that doesn’t make sense. Slowly, her mind starts to jog her memories. She remembers having lunch with Anon. She ate meat and she liked it. Then everything got fuzzy. She takes in a strong musk into her muzzle that is against the fabric. It smells like... Anon.

Slowly, in her muddled state, she raises her head to find she is indeed resting against the human. Why is she so close to him? She looks down and notices that his arms are under her. Is he carrying her?

“You alright?”

Barb looks back up and finds Anon looking down at her.

“What happened?” Barb asks still feeling a bit out of it.

“You passed out. I’m taking you back to the castle to rest.”

As Barb’s mind starts to regain its sense, she finally understands what is going on. Anon is carrying her down the streets of Canterlot towards the castle. Her eyes widen at this realization as she starts to squirm around.

“I can walk!” she shouts.

“Alright! God, calm down.” Anon sets her back on her feet, keeping a hand on her shoulder as she sways a bit in place. “Are you sure you can walk?”

“Positive.” He reluctantly releases his hold.

Barb takes a few moments to make sure she’s standing straight before attempting her first step. Immediately, her knee buckles and the rest of her comes crashing towards the street. Gasping, she clenches her eyes shut for the fall, but it never comes. She opens her eyes and finds the street only a few inches from her face. Looking down to her body she finds Anon’s arm is around her waist. He lifts her up to his chest as he holds her.

“I’ll ask again: Can you walk?” While he sounds annoyed, his grip remains firm.

Barb doesn’t want to admit defeat. She can do this on her own!

“Yes,” she answers with clenched teeth.

“Bullshit.” Anon picks her up into his arms again, her protests going unheeded.

“I said I can walk!”

“I’m not going to let you waste my time because you want to be stubborn.”


“You’re just like Twilight. She never knows when to admit when she’s wrong.”

“You don’t know anything about Twilight.”

“I’ll admit I don’t know her as much as you,” Anon is walking towards the castle but looks Barb in the eyes, “But there are things I know that she’s never told you before.”

“Like what?”

“Lots of things. She told me them in confidence and I don’t need a stupid Pinkie promise to keep my word. So just shut up and I’ll get us back to the castle in no time.”

Barb can’t stand him! He says so much that makes her angry and yet what he’s doing doesn’t match up with that! She doesn’t know what to say or feel. She’s confused and he makes it worse when he’s around. So, she decides to listen and keep her snout shut as he carries her to the castle. Her heart is racing. She will not admit to how nice this feels.

Anon sets Barb down onto her bed. She couldn’t even stay awake as he walked her to the castle. It’s odd how peaceful she is while she rests. Trying to act nice to her is a chore, but he also recognizes that it makes him feel fulfilled. Maybe Twilight’s friendship stuff is starting to corrupt his thoughts? Well, no need to worry about that. Since Barb’s asleep, Anon might as well try and get Celestia in bed. He knows it’s a pointless endeavor but it's one of those things that you want, even though it’s out of reach.

Anon leaves Barb alone and walks out of the room. He’s got a princess to chase.

Barb is stuck in a black void. She hurts so much inside.

“You make me sick, you know that?” Anon says in an evil tone. “You never take a hint when I want to be left alone. No wonder none of these ponies want to associate themselves with you!”

“That’s not true!” Barb sobs.

“All you do, Barb, is cause me problems. Can’t I do anything without you breathing down my neck? I can’t stand to be around you. My life, hell, everyone’s lives would be far less miserable without you around to ruin everything.”

“I-I’m sorry...”

“You’re a freak. More trouble than you’re worth. There was a time where you were just some garish display to be paraded around by Celestia, but now that you’ve grown, now that everyone can see you for the worthless leper you truly are, you’re inconveniencing everyone who knows you just by existing. Why does Twilight even keep you around?”

Barb covers her face, wailing into her palms as she falls to her knees. He’s right. Everything he said is true. She’s horrible.

“That is not true” a voice whispers.

Barb looks up from her claws and searches the void. Anon is standing there with a blank expression. A darkness seeps from the floor and takes the form of a pony. The darkness falls away showing Luna.

“P-Princess?” Barb suddenly comes to her senses. “Where am I?”

“You are in a nightmare, young Barb.”

Barb looks around the darkness.“This… this is a dream?”

Luna nods as she looks over to Anon. “So this is the Anon my sister speaks so fondly of?”

Barb remembers what happened in her dream. She shakes her head.

“No. He’s a jerk, but he’s not this cruel.” So she’s in a dream? “I don’t know why he’s here, to be honest.”

Luna looks at Barb with a raised brow. “Are you certain of that?”

“Of course. Why would he be here and nopony else?”

“Perhaps he means a lot to you.”

“Anon is important to me? No!” Barb tries to find a way to explain why he’s here. “It makes more sense that he’s just here to torment me.”

“Is that so?”


Luna closes her eyes. “Allow me to cleanse you of this nightmare.”

Luna’s horn glows brightly as its shine expands throughout the darkness. It soon becomes too bright for Barb to even stand as she closes her eyes.

“Now. Gaze upon your dream,” Luna states.

Barb opens her eyes and what she first finds is that the entire ground beneath her feet is blanketed in flowers, all softly fluttering in a nonexistent breeze. Luna stands near Anon, but Barb’s eyes hardly spare her a glance as they lock onto Anon. He’s standing there with a gentle look in his eyes and a smile on his face. Barb’s breathing grows heavy as his smile seems to grow at Barb looking his way.

“How are you feeling?” he asks in a loving tone.

Barb places a hand on her chest. Why does she feel like this? How can this be her dream?

“Do not bury what you feel,” Luna speaks with authority. “Locking away your desires will only lead you to darkness.”

Luna points with her wing and Barb follows its direction. At the edge of her vision, she can see a dark smoke of some kind turning the flowers to ash, consuming the light as it slowly stalked closer and closer. She quickly looks back to Luna for help but she isn’t there anymore.

“I cannot save you from your feelings.” Luna’s voice whispers. “You will either accept yourself, or you shall become one with the darkness.”

Barb is now in a panic as she tries to figure out what is going on. She feels something settle on her shoulder and looks up to see Anon is there with that loving look in his eyes.

“I’m here for you.”

Barb grabs her chest again to try and stop this feeling inside of her. A pain so deep and complicated that she can’t even find words to describe it. The darkness surges faster towards her as the world around her turns to ash, yet a reassuring hand comes to rest on her cheek, lifting her head to be met with Anon’s smile. Barb can feel her heart rapidly beating as Anon slowly closes his eyes and leans towards her. Why does she feel like this? Why can’t she be nicer to him? Just as the darkness is about to surround them, Barb has a final thought:

Why do I love him?

Anon has a smile on his face as he walks to Celestia’s room. He knows she’s done with all her work and is going to relax for the day. He made sure to bring a slice of her favorite cake to ensure that everything goes smoothly. He walks up to her door and knocks on it.

“Come in,” a voice speaks from behind it.

Anon pushes the door open and looks inside. Celestia is sitting on a large pillow set on her balcony. A smile graces her lips when she discovers it to be him.

“It is good to see you, Anon. Please, come in.”

Anon comes in with the plate behind his back as he approaches Celestia. She has a raised brow as he stands in front of her.

“What is it that you have?” she asks.

“A small gift.”

Anon moves his hand to the front of him, showing off the slice of cake. Celestia’s eyes sparkle a bit as she takes the plate from him.

“It seems you are pulling out all the stops today,” she says as she happily takes a bite.

Grinning, Anon says, “I know how to treat my lady right.”

“Already claiming me as you own? That’s rather bold.”

Anon shrugs. “What can I say, I’ve fallen in love.”

Celestia chuckles. “Don’t say such silly things, Anon.”

“What’s so silly about love?”

“Nothing, just that you don’t feel it. Not for me, at least.”

The human blinks, leaning against the balcony’s opening.. “Is that so? Who do I love then? Twilight?” he asks, crossing his arms. A small, bemused smile remains on his face, a kind of skeptical ward against what he surmised to be another tongue in cheek quip from a princess playing hard to get.

Celestia’s smile widens as she takes a bite of her cake. “I’m afraid not, my little human.”

Anon rolls his eyes, deciding to humor the mare and play along. “A guessing game? Is it one of the elements?” She shakes her head. “Luna?” Again she shakes her head. “Who could it be then? Some random mare that I’ve slept with?” he posits with no small amount of irony.

Celestia, on her last bit of cake, floats the rest over to Anon in an act of unprecedented cake-related generosity. Anon, though surprised, opens his mouth and she feeds it to him.

“Barb.” Celestia answers.

Anon almost spits the cake he was forked back into the alicorn’s face, covering his mouth before he can make a fool of himself. He quickly swallows after regaining his composure and chuckles a bit.

“Barb?” he says disbelievingly. “You must be joking!”

Celestia shifts on her pillow, finding a more comfortable position. “Do you truly despise Barb?” Her blunt question catches Anon off guard. He grimaces, pushing off the entrance he’d rested against as he is suddenly taken by an anxious energy.

“Well,” he begins, “she’s annoying, but I wouldn’t say I despise her.”

“Anon, why must you bury what you feel so deeply?” Celestia implores, her wings sagging.

Anon chuckles. “Bury what? I don’t know where you’re getting this idea from, but it’s ridiculous. Are you feeling well, Tia?”

Celestia shakes her head with a sigh. “You are alone, Anon. Even with all the mares you surround yourself with day in and day out for solace, even with all your friends to support you without expecting anything in return, you still feel alone.”

Every muscle in Anon’s body tenses. He opens his mouth, but finds his tongue unresponsive as he begins to tremble where he stands. Celestia stands, keeping her eyes locked with his as she draws nearer.

“You act as if you’re afraid of being stuck here in Equestria,” she says, placing a hoof on Anon’s shoulder, “but the fact is that you’re afraid that you’ve found a reason to stay.”

Anon gulps hard as he listens to her. “D-Did I catch you at a bad time?”

Ignoring the human’s nervous attempts to derail the conversation, Celestia asserts, “You are scared of acknowledging how you feel. You write it off as if it’s nothing more than a small penance to pay.” Releasing her hold, the Princess of the Sun gives him a meaningful look, and he felt like a child again as he observed in that instant in her sagacious eyes just how old she truly was. “Even with all the mares you’ve sought for company you could never fill that emptiness within you.” Anon’s breaths grow shaky as he absorbs her words.

“When is it that you feel alive, then? Is it when you bed a mare? Is it when you talk to me? Is it when you talk to Twilight?” Celestia takes a few steps towards Anon as he involuntarily takes a few back. “Or is it when you’re with Barb? Do you feel passionate when you two fight? Don’t you feel as if you’re not alone? As if things are normal?”

“Is this some kind of joke?” Anon snaps, frightened by the implications of what she was suggesting.

“This is not a time for joking, my little human. The fact is, my student has asked me to help you see the truth. Everypony around you can see it plain as the day and yet the two of you remain blind. It is unfortunate I must take such drastic measures to enlighten you, but left with no alternative that’s what I intend to do. Not only for your own sake, but Barb’s as well.”

Anon tries to back away slowly but feels Celestia hold him in place.

“What are you doing!?” he asks, panicked.

“I’m going to give you a choice. See the truth and make your own decision.”

Before Anon can say anything Celestia’s horn ignites and he finds himself deep in sleep. Luna walks out of the shadows and stands beside her sister.

“It is time,” she declares.

Celestia nods. “Very well. Show him.”

Luna casts her own spell, one she rarely uses, but it’ll work for what she has in mind.

Darkness is all that Anon can see. He cannot hear or feel a single thing. The world around him flickers random images, as if he’s having a near-death experience. Yet what he finds is that his vision slowly fades from black and standing before him is Barb. He can see the tears in her eyes as she looks at him. He wants to call out to her but nothing comes out, he tries to reach for her but he cannot move. It’s like he’s watching a movie from his own eyes.

He feels his lips move and yet he cannot hear what he is saying. It matters little because whatever he said to Barb makes her eyes glisten. Anon can feel his heart wince at the thought of hurting Barb. Poke a bit of fun, sure, but he doesn’t want to make her cry. Barb hides her face behind her palms as she sobs and Anon watches, helpless. Why is this happening? Where is he? Why can’t he help her? He doesn’t want this to happen to her! He doesn’t want to see her like this!

As Anon tries his hardest to take control of himself, he feels everything disappear in a bright flash of light. Once his vision returns, he notices that Barb isn’t crying anymore and that they are now in a field of flowers. When Barb looks up at him, a genuine smile chases away all the negativity, his heart warming at the sight. The world around him is no longer muted and inaudible. He still can’t control his body but at least he can hear.

“How are you feeling?” He hears leave his mouth in a loving tone.

Why is he talking to Barb like that? Doesn’t that seem a bit too familiar? She probably thinks he’s an idiot. Yet, Anon finds himself become concerned as Barb grasps her chest in pain. What’s happening to her!?

“Do not bury what you feel,” Luna speaks with authority. “Locking away your desires will only lead you to darkness.”

Luna? Is she talking to Barb? Anon can’t turn to face the Diarch, but he can see behind Barb a darkness of some kind turning the flowers to ash as it slowly moves towards them. That can’t be good. If Luna is involved then this has to be related to a dream, right? Is Barb having a nightmare about something?

“I cannot save you from your feelings.” Luna’s voice whispers. “You will either accept yourself, or you shall become one with the darkness.”

Barb begins panicking. Anon has to do something! He doesn’t know what’s happening but he has to calm her down. He shouts, commands and forces his body to obey. This is a dream; he has the power! He needs to let her know that he’s here. It takes all of his will power to force himself to walk over to her and settle his hand on her shoulder.

“I’m here for you,” he promises. His words, originating within his consciousness only, miraculously cross his lips and reach the young dragoness.

Barb once again grabs her chest with that look of pure agony on her face. Why does it hurt him so much to see her like this? Why not just let her suffer? This is her dream; therefore it’s her problem. However, those thoughts seem illogical. Barb isn’t a bad person. She doesn’t deserve this. She doesn’t deserve to feel the way she does. She shouldn’t feel so alone...

Anon quivers. She feels alone... Despite all of her friends and Twilight. She still feels alone. She needs someone right now, someone that can understand and he’s the only one that could even remotely understand how she feels. Anon reaches out and rests his hand on her cheek, the resistance and discontent from before gone. He raises her head up and looks into her eyes. Why didn’t he see it before? Her green emerald eyes are beautiful. He doesn’t even think as he closes his eyes and leans towards her, a single thought entering his mind:

When did I fall for her?

Anon is sitting by himself at a booth in sugarcube corner. Pinkie invited him over to try some of her cupcakes but it’ll take some time before she has them ready for him. Anon has the same smile on his face that he always wears when he’s in public. The ponies in the shop are looking at him out of the corner of their eye. He can hear how they whisper about him. Their distrust, fear and even hate. Anon has never felt so out of place in his entire life; he’s never felt so alone. If there was just one other human here he’d be fine. But he’s alone and that’s just his lot in life. The weird alien creature.

The doorbell rings out as someone enters. Anon looks over with everyone else and notices Barb standing there. Even if he didn’t notice it himself, a true smile rests on his face and the loneliness inside of him fades once he lays his eyes on her.

“Hey, Scaley!” he shouts, catching her attention.

Barb immediately looks his way with a shocked and annoyed expression. Why does it feel so right when she’s around? It’s almost as if things are normal. She makes being in Equestria bearable.

Anon feels his eyes slowly open. What just happened? He sits up, feeling a major headache. He looks around and notices that he’s in the guest room Celestia set up for them. He’s in bed and as he continues to look around he notices that Barb is in the other bed that’s beside him. He winces as images of his dream surface. Was that all only a crazy dream? The entire thing with Celestia, Luna and Barb? What about the memory from his first few weeks in Equestria? What did it all mean? Does he actually love Barb?

That dream was so vivid that he can remember everything. How he felt as he tried to reach out to her but couldn’t. How that look of pain on her face made his own heart hurt. Anon swallows hard as he continues to watch Barb sleep. So what will happen if he does like Barb? It’s so hard for him to try and get into a mindset where the two of them aren’t fighting. Yet, this entire time they’ve been trying. So is there a chance? Should he quit while he’s ahead and cut his losses?

Anon doesn’t know why but he feels as if something has been switched on inside of him. He needs to know for sure if what he feels is true. He needs a plan.

Barb wakes up inside of the guest room. She looks around and finds that she’s alone. She winces as the thought of her dream comes back. She holds her claws to her chest. She doesn’t like Anon... She loves him. Why was it so hard for her to admit that? Is it because of the changes she’s been going through? She doesn’t know but she does know that when she thinks about Anon, that feeling inside of her has changed: those butterflies don’t distract her anymore. Instead, she just has a sense of peace, an understanding of what she feels.

With her peace comes a sense of urgency. She has to find Anon. The drake can’t stand to be away from him anymore. She needs to tell him how she feels. She needs to know if he feels the same way.

Barb has been searching the castle grounds for hours. Each passing minute makes her heart hurt more. Where did Anon go? She grabs her chest as her thoughts start to turn on her. Did he go out to find another mare to sleep with? Her mood darkens at that. Maybe he convinced the princess to lie with him? A sad smile settles on her face. How could she ever compete with that? How could she compete with anypony? Look at her... She’s always just some unwanted outcast wherever she goes.

Anon doesn’t want to deal with that problem. Maybe it would be best if she just stopped thinking about this? He probably doesn’t like her anyways...

“Hey, I’ve been looking for you,” calls a distressingly familiar voice.

Barb looks up from the floor in shock. Anon is standing only a few feet from her. Wait... He’s been looking for her? Why? She wants to take him into an embrace, but reluctantly holds her ground.


The pain in Barb’s eyes does not go unnoticed by the human. It seems to stoke the flame that is already burning brightly inside of him. He approaches Barb and mentally prepares himself to set his plan in motion.

“Follow me.”

That’s all Anon says as he turns on his heels and walks away. Barb, though perplexed, hurriedly follows after him.

“Um, where are we going?” she asks.

“It’s a secret.”

“Should I be dressed?” Barb looks down to the same purple and green dress she hasn’t taken off.

Anon shakes his head, eyes straight. “No, you look great.”

Barb’s heart flutters as she hears that. The melancholy from before shifts as a genuine smile crosses her lips. She doesn’t know where Anon is taking her, but as long as he’s there she’s sure she will love it.

Anon has led the both of them to the garden. The sun is hanging low in the sky as it starts to fall towards the horizon. Barb doesn’t know why Anon brought her here, but is seems that he has something in mind. It doesn’t take long for them to get there and Barb notices a picnic set up beside a tall tree. Anon doesn’t pause as he takes a seat on the blanket and looks over at Barb.

“Please.” He waves to the blanket.

Barb obediently follows suit. Her gaze remains on Anon. He just lets out a sigh as he watches the sun only minutes from hitting the horizon. Barb decides to turn her attention the sun. She can feel her heart melt a bit as she watches the beautiful rays shoot across the sky in a brilliant display one last time before the night comes in.

“Do you know where we are, Barb?”

The human’s unexpected question snaps the young drake from her calm immersion.

“The Canterlot garden?”

Anon chuckles a bit, never looking away from the horizon.

“That’s true, but where are we specifically?” Barb is silent. She doesn’t understand the question. “I guess you wouldn’t know.” Anon takes a deep breath. “This is where I first arrived in Equestria.”

Barb’s eyes widen. This is where Anon showed up?

“I was afraid.” Anon speaks up. “When I first woke up in this garden, I was afraid because I knew from first sight that something wasn’t right. Imagine my surprise when I ran into the Princess. She welcomed me and I’m thankful for how understanding and kind she was.”

Barb can only nod her head as she listens to Anon. She’s never heard this story before. Anon runs a hand through his hair as he thinks back to that time.

“Celestia believed that I should be out in public but also feared for my psyche. So, she sent me to Ponyville to live with her student. There are less ponies around and Twilight always told her how accepting they can be in that little town, if a bit skittish from the start. I respected the Princess, so I did as she said.” Anon takes a moment to think again. “In my entire life I have never felt as alone as I did the first few weeks here in Equestria. How ponies looked at me, what they said behind my back, as if I didn’t already know I didn’t belong.”

Barb can start to feel her heart ache, but not for the reasons like before. She doesn’t want to see Anon like this. She knows how he feels. It’s exactly how she feels whenever ponies leer at her.

“Why are you telling me this?” Barb asks.

Anon turns to face her.

“Barb... I have been alone but there was always one thing I never understood. Whenever you were around, whenever we would fight... I felt normal. I felt as if I belonged somewhere. Ponies treat me nice, but there is always something off about them. As if every so often they remember what I am. Yet with you, you just treated me the same way.” He breathes. It’s now or never. “Barb... Do you like me?”

Barb is overwhelmed with emotion, all her fears and doubts, all her desires and wishes rising within her body, threatening to explode. Her mind is racing, but she begins speaking before she can even understand what she wants to say.


The apprehension in the human fades in that moment. He deflates, closing his eyes as the tension built up in his body is released. “I like you too.”

Barb’s face burns as brilliantly as a torch. Was this another dream? She had to have still been unconscious in that bed! Before she can say anything, he sighs.

“To be honest, Barb, I... think I might love you.”

Barb feels like she’s about to explode. Her insides feel as if they’re full of air and ready to burst. Anon is still facing her, gauging her reaction. Yet as he studies her shocked expression, he feels as if he’s made a mistake.

“Oh... a bit too forward, yeah? Sorry, I… I shouldn’t have put all that on you at once. I guess it’s a bit too early to confess something like that...”

Barb’s eyes widen even more. No! He can’t think she doesn’t feel the same way! She can’t speak! So she does the only thing that feels right. Anon’s eyes widen as Barb lunges at him. She comes crashing down on top of him with her muzzle pressed firmly against his lips. There are tears running from her eyes as they are closed shut. Anon decides to let her take the wheel as he closes his eyes and pushes into her. Barb can feel her heart racing; she’s actually kissing him! She doesn’t want this to end. Anon is surprised by how soft Barb’s lips are. To think a creature as hardy as a dragon would make such a pleasant kisser.

Anon feels a slender tongue run along his lips. He opens his mouth and lets her in. It’s a sloppy kiss for sure, but Anon isn’t complaining. He guides her tongue with his own as they start to playfully fight. Barb moans hungrily. She feels as if she’s complete. They both pull away gasping for air, their eyes boring into one another’s with affection.

“I love you too,” Barb breathes.

No more needs to be said as Anon presses his lips against hers this time. The both of them are enthusiastic, yet as Barb sits on top of Anon he starts to feel something else pressing against her. Barb jumps slightly in shock. The both of them break away from their kiss as Barb realizes what it was that poked her. Anon chuckles a bit in embarrassment.

“Sorry, just a little excited.”

Barb pants hotly, maintaining eye contact as her tongue lolls out of her mouth. She’s salivating at the very thought of what she’s sitting on right now. She doesn’t know why but there’s a certain fire between her legs that she’s never felt before. Her body moves without input from her higher thought as she starts to grind needily into Anon’s lap. Anon grunts, more than a bit surprised at the ministrations of the typically reserved and uptight dragoness.

“I don’t mind,” Barb says in a sultry tone.

Anon’s cock flexes upon hearing those words, causing Barb to heatedly moan. Is she really ready for something like this? She’s a virgin, right?

“Are you sure this is alright?” Anon asks past clenched teeth. “You’ve never done this before, I thought.”

Barb quivers, knowing on a baser level that she was ready for this, that she needed this. A certain calmness is present inside of her and a clear want for what Anon and Anon alone can satisfy what permeates her being. It’s a primal feeling. She wants him. To ensure that no others can have him.

“I want you.”

Did her voice just get deeper? In fact, now that Anon looks at her, he notices that her spines are sharper and her muzzle has grown longer. She feels heavier too and even seems to have grown taller. Anon then remembers a story Twilight once told him about a dragon's greed and how it can quickly get out of control and cause rapid and extreme changes. Anon isn’t scared by any means. While she is about his size now, she’s still far from being a threat since she’d never hurt him. In fact, Anon feels rather excited. Still, there’s just something wrong here.

“Barb,” Anon says in a serious tone. “Are you alright?”

She doesn’t say anything as she keeps eye contact with him. There’s an almost vacant look in her eyes as she stares at him. This might actually not be a good thing. He doesn’t know if this is what she wants or just something primal that is controlling her. If she’s into it, then he’s cool but with her current state he can’t say without a shadow of a doubt that she wants to go this far. Not to mention this seems too early. Sure Anon can screw a random mare, but Barb isn’t a random one night stand. He doesn't want her to be that.

“I need you to listen to me,” Anon calls out again. “You need to stop this.”

The dragoness on top of him seems to grow slightly larger as it bares its fangs, growling. Anon isn’t going to be intimidated by her. He can feel as if he wants to become just as enraged as she is right now but instead he feels his features soften. As he reaches his hand up slowly to her. He can see as her eyes watch him closely until he hand rests on her cheek. She now returns her gaze to him, her snarl still present.

“You don’t need to worry about losing me to some other mare.” Anon notices how the vacant eyes of Barb quickly snap to a look of fear. “You already have me.”

In the blink of an eye, Anon notices that Barb returns to normal. Not just in her mind but her body as well. She has a hand on her head as if dazed. Before Anon can help her, he notices a panicked look on her face as she looks down at Anon and quickly scrambles away from him. Anon sits up and finds Barb pressed against the tree with her hands covering her face. The sound of her cry is all that he hears.


Anon tries to move towards her but notices as she tries to press herself into the tree more.

“I’m sorry...” She croaks out past her tears. “I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

Stupid kid. Anon shakes his head as he moves to her side, his back pressed against the tree as well. He just lets out a sigh as he puts one arm around her and pulls her to his chest.

“Don’t sweat it.” Anon chuckles a bit. “Honestly, I thought it was kinda hot.”

Barb wants to feel angry at herself but hearing Anon say that makes her do something else entirely. She laughs. She doesn’t know why but she can’t contain herself as she uncontrollably laughs. Anon seems infected by this as well as he joins in her laughter as well. Soon the two of them compose themselves as they just sit and look out into the night sky.

“I just want to let you know that there’s no rush for what was about to happen.” Anon speaks up. “Whenever you think the time is right, I’ll be waiting.”

Barb looks up at Anon as he looks off into the distance with a smile. She doesn’t know why she didn't see it before but now it all is so clear. She loves him and she’ll always love him. It doesn’t matter what happens. As long as he’s hers, then she doesn’t care about anything else.

“So what happens now?” Barb asks.

“Now?” Anon looks down at Barb as she nods. “Now we can get to know each other. What’s your favorite movie?”

Barb feels a smile grow on her lips.


“Really? That’s my favorite too! She sure does kick some ass, right?”

Barb giggles. “Yeah. Remember when she comes back in the second film as a good character? I was positive she was evil when she walked into the scene!”

“Gotta love the one liner too.”

As the two of them continue to talk under the tree, what they fail to see is Celestia sitting on her balcony with a smile on her face. It seems that they’ve finally come to grips with what their hearts desire. She gets her quill, dips it into ink and starts to write a letter to her student.

My faithful student.

I know you expressed your concern about Anon’s well being in Equestria and the strained relationship between him and Barb, but I’m happy to tell you that they are getting along just fine now. In fact, I’m sure you’ll be surprised by what you see when they come back to Ponyville in a few days.

Celestia signs her name and sends the message to Twilight. It’ll take a bit of time but she wouldn’t want to ruin Anon and Barb’s moment, even if it would be a bit entertaining. Celestia gets up from her seat and walks back into her room. Perhaps she’ll make reservations for them to have a proper date before they return to Ponyville? Yes, that sounds nice.

Author's Notes:

The story still isn't over yet! Check out the "clopilogue" to see how it ends!

Next Chapter: Clopilogue Estimated time remaining: 22 Minutes
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A Barb in my side

Mature Rated Fiction

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