Coffeemaker. Check!

Coffee mugs. Check!

Spike safely away and asleep. Check!

With a satisfied smile, Twilight put her clipboard away and relaxed in the chair. Finally, everything was perfectly set up for the next call. The previous seven had been improvisations, but Twilight was confident she had made note of all the encountered problems and come up with a set of solutions for each.

"Hi, Twilight," a voice came from outside the room. "How are—"

"Hello, you have reached the Friendship and Magic hotline!" Twilight said on instinct. "This is Princess Twilight Sparkle speaking, and let me assure you I’ll be happy to assist you in any Friendship or Magic problems you might have, no matter how large or small!"

"Hmm?" The head of an extremely confused Luna poked through the window.

"Oh, argh!" Twilight covered her mouth with her hoof. How embarrassing! The crystal isn't even flashing. Oh, please don't think badly of me, Luna. It was an honest mistake! Really! I'm not a failure! I'm a good Princess! This was just a small slip up that will never happen again! Please don't tell Princess Celestia!

"Apologies, Twilight. I didn't mean to bother you while you work," the Princess of the Night said, while staring at the voice crystal. For several seconds she did nothing else, assessing it, as it seemed. Twilight dared not budge. It was an awkward situation, which only intensified as Luna redirected her attention to the coffeemaker. "Hmm. What brand do you use?" She looked at Twilight critically.

"Err, Summer Roast?" Twilight answered, still very much worried whether she was making a bad impression.

"No, no, no!" Luna shook her head. "You might as well be drinking water. It's terrible! And the flavor is really sweetish-meh at best. If you want to pull an all-dayer you have only two real options. Double Delight or Oava. I think you'd better start with Double Delight. It's a bit softer on the palate and more than sufficient for a pony your size."

"But I like sweetish-meh," Twilight whimpered quietly. It had taken her a month of negotiations with her family, after she had become a Princess with her own castle, in order to be allowed coffee at all. Having somepony else criticize her choice of brand was outright painful.

"Don't worry, I'll bring you some from my personal blend tomorrow before work." Luna pulled back out of the room, though not before looking at the coffeemaker in utter disgust. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Don't go yet! I can explain. I really am very diligent! I'm a good princess!

"Wait!" Twilight squeaked. "Don't you want to listen in on a call? That way you can evaluate my performance and cast aside any misconceptions that—"

"I'm actually here to have a word with Starlight," Luna interrupted.

Oh, thank the stars! Twilight exhaled deeply brushing off the sweat gathered on her forehead. If the Princess wasn't here to inspect her work there was nothing to be afraid of. How silly of me. Of course you'd be here to have a talk with Starl—

"Umm, she's having dreams again?" Oh, no! Starlight... You must think I'm a horrible Friendship teacher, Luna. I can't even get my own student to stop thinking negative thoughts.

"The usual." Luna waved a hoof on the air. "Conquer Equestria, brainwash all the ponies, steal all your lovers."

At the mention of the last, Twilight's mouth fell open. She felt the blood rushing to her face. My lovers?! I wasn't flirting with that stallion! We just shared an interest in Daring Doo books! And it's not like that's any of Starlight's business! She has enough trouble making friends, let alone be ready for romantic relationships, to criticize anypony else!

"Anyway, I must be off. Dreams wait for no pony." She flapped her wings and vanished into the night, probably heading to Starlight’s room. Twilight hesitated, uncertain whether to teleport there or not. On the one hoof, she respected her student's privacy and didn't want to micromanage every aspect of her development. On the other, however, she didn't want anypony showing an interest in her social life and coming to the completely wrong conclusions. Before she could come to a decision the crystal started flashing.

"Hello, you have reached the Friendship and Magic hotline!" Twilight said in a level tone. "This is Princess Twilight Sparkle speaking. I’ll be happy to assist you in any Friendship or Magic problems you might have." A bit shorter than her standard greeting, but right now she was a bit peeved. Of course the important things happen when I need to... inspect Starlight's conversation with Luna. For Starlight’s own good!

"Err? What happened to Twilight's Friendship Hotline?" a meek filly's voice asked.

"This is it." I hope you are pleased with yourself, Spike! It'll take me weeks to get ponies to use the hotline's proper name!

"But just now you said it’s the Friendship and Magic hotline..." The filly sounded confused.

"Yes it is." Must I go over the same thing every time? "This is a hotline that is to assist you, the caller, with any magic and friendship problems. I am Twilight, so technically this is my hotline for help, although it isn't because I don't own it. Are things a bit clearer now?" The silence on the other end indicated very much the opposite. "Fine, this is Twilight's Friendship Hotline. How may I help?"

"Umm. Err. My horn isn't working properly," the tiny voice said, causing Twilight to arch a brow. "I often get picked on at school. Not as much as before, but... I..."

"I understand," Twilight nodded, levitating a blank form in front of her and starting to write. "So you have a magic problem which has led to a friendship problem. Have you tried talking to any friends about this?"

"Maybe?"

"That bad, huh?" Maybe never meant maybe. In this case it meant a resounding no. "When did this start?" Twilight started filling in the form. Caller fourteen. You sound like a filly, and you said you were in school...

"When I was really young. Five years ago, or more."

"What? How didn't anypony notice before?!" This is absurd! True, at a young age it's expected for there be difficulties with magic, but for nopony to have noticed... that's... just... Twilight was shaking. Her hooves were making marks in the desk. Such appalling parenthood was criminal! Mane tingling with rage, she took a deep breath then exhaled. "Why didn't your parents notice?" she asked in her calmest tone possible.

"Umm, they are very busy in Canterlot." There was a touch of sadness in the filly's voice. "My sister tried to help me, but she's quite busy as well. And my foalsitters... One of them is too focused on how I behave to be concerned with magic, and the other..." A loud sigh came through the voice crystal. "The other is Miss Doo."

"Daring Do?" Twilight's heart skipped a beat. No! It can't be! I refuse to believe that the greatest writer and adventurer in all of... Wait! Daring Do is in Ponyville?! A large smile appeared on her face. Her wings spanned open as she thought of the possibilities. This was nothing short of incredible! It was the perfect opportunity for Twilight to introduce her to the Hotline project, maybe even get her to endorse it. With a celebrity on the team it was certain that—

"No..." The word shattered Twilight's dreams like Maud a piece of granite. The Princess' wings and ears flopped down. "Ditzy Doo..."

"I see." Fighting her disappointment, Twilight jotted the information down. Well, that explains a few things. "And you've spoken to nopony about it?"

"I tried to ask Sweetie Belle for help, but at first she was sad that she didn't have her cutie mark, then—"

"Sweetie Belle?" Twilight blinked. In the same class as the Cutie Mark Crusaders, has Derpy as a foalsitter, has a sister... "Dinky, is that you? Why didn't you tell me any of this before? I'm near your school nearly every day!"

"Umm, umm..." There they were — the unmistakable sounds of a filly desperately trying to keep her tears back. "I wanted to, but... You're a Princess! I didn't want you to laugh at me as well. Everypony laughs when I say I can't use magic. It's worse than being a blank flank. At least then you know that sooner or later your cutie-mark will appear."

"There, there, Dinky." I wish the crystal would let me be with her. As Pinkie likes to say, this filly needs a hug. "I know it's unpleasant, but it's normal to go through such things in life. Magic hiccups are not as uncommon as you might think. There even are fully grown ponies that have troubles with them from time to time. Why, I remember even Amethyst had difficulties using her horn on Wednesday."

"So that's why sis never helps with the dishes on Wednesdays!" Dinky shouted at the sudden realization.

Oops. Amethyst will kill me if she learns. "Err, yes. And that's why we keep those things a secret." I feel so conflicted all of a sudden. "Anyway, there are methods to deal with the hiccups. I'll walk you through it. Just make sure there's nopony nearby. Things might get a bit... intense."

"I'm in the park. Nopony as far as I can see."

"That's perfect! Now—" Suddenly Twilight's blood ran cold. Filly. Park. Half past three in the morning. "You’re alone in the park at night?! You’re just a filly!"

"So?" Dinky sounded surprised. "It's not the first time I snuck out of home. I'm usually with friends, though."

"What?!" Groups of foals running around after dark? What is this generation coming to? Why, I remember when I was a filly, I used to study at home all night! Only time I went out was with permission from both parents and coordinated with Cadence and Shining Armor! "What if something dangerous happens to you?"

"Snips and Snails went into the Everfree Forest to get a Ursa Minor one night."

"True, but—"

"And the Cutie Mark crusaders went there as well searching for a chicken." Dinky was relentless. "And they say they found you there."

"Oh." Drat! You got me there. "I guess it's all right… as long as Amethyst has some idea where you are." Twilight cleared her throat, scribbled the filly's name and a few notes into the form, then moved the voice crystal closer. "So, let's see how can I help you. You're cleaning your horn regularly, right? Magnetic, metal, and dust particles interfere with magic aura."

"Yes," Dinky sighed. "And I tried casting in water to increase magic conductivity. Nothing."

"Did you wait thirty seconds after your previous spell attempt?"

"Yes. I even went a full day without casting magic." Hesitation. "Am I ill? I read that magic problems are a symptom of serious illnesses." The filly's voice shivered as she spoke.

"Oh, no, I don't think so." I'm so going through the medical books after this call. Two unicorns with casting problems. Might be an epidemic of something. Or a prank by Discord. Wouldn't put it past him to pull this off for a laugh. "Have you been in contact with Poison Joke?"

"Not since Pinkie Pie's free muffin surprise." The phrase was enough to cause Twilight to cringe. Judging by the sounds on the other end of the crystal Dinky had probably done the same.

"That's good to know." She wrote 'talk to Pinkie about surprises' on another piece of paper and added three exclamation points. "Well, there's one thing I'd like you to try. Can you touch the voice crystal with your horn and tell me what happens?"

"O-okay."

Twilight levitated the coffeemaker on the floor and braced herself. A loud click came from the crystal, but nothing else. I really hope it's not what I think it is.

"I don't feel anything, Princess." The filly's voice sounded slightly distorted.

"Umm," Twilight folded her ears down, then summoned a pillow and held it in front of the voice crystal. "Try casting a spell now. Remember, your horn must keep—"

A lightning bolt tore through the pillow. Before Twilight could react it struck her on the horn, singeing her eyelashes and making her mane stand up like the spikes of an aggressive porcupine. What happened? Slowly the Princess turned around. The good news was that the coffeemaker wasn't harmed. However, the rest of the room was in need of a serious redecoration. I didn't know that walls could melt that way. Twilight didn't even want to think what would have happened if she hadn't been an alicorn.

"Dinky, sweetie, have you been anywhere close to thunderclouds?" She turned back towards the voice crystal.

"Umm, no, not today," the filly replied all the more confused. "Miss Doo usually takes me cloud swimming Mondays and Fridays only."

"Dinky!" Twilight shouted. She tried to comb done part of her mane, but the rebellious lock of hair jumped right back. "You should know electricity disrupts the horn's mana flow! The amount of static you had was enough to destroy city hall!" I'm so talking to Derpy about this! Cloud swimming in thunderclouds... And never once did she invite me! "Try casting a spell now."

"Okay." A faint pop was heard, followed shortly later by a loud metallic clang. "It works!" An enthusiastic scream drilled Twilight's ears. "It works! I took the bench and moved it!"

"That's great, Dinky." I better make a note to have Spike fix that in the morning.

"Thank you, Princess! Thank you so much!"

"It's my pleasure." Despite the smell of burned hair, Twilight felt warm inside. It was a wonderful feeling helping a filly in need and hearing the cheer in her voice. "I'll go show Sis now! Oh, and I'll tell her not to be upset at you for using exploits in Horseshoes of Honour."

"What?" Twilight shouted. "I'll have you know that corner camp-bucking is a perfectly legal style of play as described in errata v3.14! You tell Amethyst that—" The voice crystal stopped glowing.

I can't believe it! Twilight fluffed up her chest. Her own friends were accusing her of cheating! Just because she had found the best strategy was no reason for them to act in such foolish fashion. She levitated a cup of coffee to her and took a sip. Also, Luna doesn't understand anything about coffee! A thousand years ago tastes might have been different, but in the here and now Summer Roast is universally the best brand in Equestria!

*Blink* *Blink* *Blink*

Without hesitation, Twilight tapped the crystal. "Hello, you have reached Twilight's Friendship Hotline!" she said in a warm tone. "This is Princess Twilight Sparkle speaking, here to assist you in any problem you might have."

"It's Shifty again," the caller began immediately. There seemed to be something familiar about his voice, something that made Twilight swoon uncontrollably at the voice crystal. "Things are getting worse. I tried picking up weight again, and that nearly caused a riot at the market. I really don't know what to do!"

"Mmhmm," Twilight smiled for no good reason.

"So I was thinking—" the called suddenly stopped. There was a long moment of silence, during which Twilight didn't flinch a muscle. "Am I talking to Princess Twilight?" Shifty asked cautiously, almost with fear.

"Why yes, yes you are." Why do I have this urge to hug the crystal all of a sudden.

"...I'm doomed..."