"Ryan, are you sure you should be doing this? I'm not sure it's a good idea," Silver suggested with a worrisome voice.

"I'vvvve...never been more sure about anything in my entire life. Today is the day...that Imma...I'm gonna...beat this ashhole!" Ryan replied with a bit of a slur.

We...were...we're gonna win this...this time!

Discord, the master of chaos himself, merely chuckled at the human's words.

Originally, after recovering from what Ryan was told was the beat down of the century, he was going to just kick back and relax. That was until the oddly dressed, humanoid...thing, known as Discord, challenged him to a rematch for their drinking game. Silver just so happened to stumble upon the two as they were discussing the matter of the rematch and insisted on keeping the human company.

The first few shots were pretty alright, Ryan didn't seem to change much at all. Around the seventh or eighth though, he started acting funny. He would have a hard time speaking full sentences without some kind of error. Then around the twelfth or thirteenth shot his head started randomly spinning around in circles.

Now, reaching out for his twentieth shot-this number is likely exaggerated-he raised the glass in an odd kind of salute. "Mustafa!"

With that he collapsed, his body falling to the floor with a loud thud. Silver quickly ran over to aid him. His eyes were open, his pulse was steady, and he was still breathing. All of these were good signs, but the way his body seemed to move like it was under water made her a bit uncomfortable.

"Is he going to be okay?" Silver asked, concern filling her features as she stared up at the god of chaos.

Discord waved a dismissive hand at her. "Oh, he'll be fine. But, it would seem that he has lost once again."

Ryan lifted his head and pointed an accusing finger at him. "Ffffuuck...your mother."

He chuckled at the human's behavior and watched as Silver's small body strained as she tried to lift him up. "Allow me to help you with that."

With a snap of his fingers, followed by a bright flash of light, Ryan's body was now laying down in a shopping cart. Discord chuckled before continuing. "Go on now, the game is over. We shall play again some other time. Until then, you should probably push him around for a while. I think some fresh air will do him some good."

Silver wasn't sure how to respond to what Discord had just done and settled with just nodding and rolling Ryan out of the room and into the hallway.

Discord wore a mischievous grin as he watched them leave, getting ready to watch how things would unfurl this time around. With another snap of his fingers he was turned completely invisible and began following the two.

Back in the hallway, Silver pushed the cart to Celestia knows where. She had only been here for a couple of days now and was still learning how to get around. "Ryan, do you know where we are going?"

"Not really..." He lifted his head a bit so he could see over his legs, but that only worked for a few seconds. The movement sent of wave of motions into his brain, making him much more nauseous than he was comfortable with. That being a thing, he lowered himself back down. "Just keep going forward. I'm sure we'll figure something out."

I'm hungry...

"Let's go get some fucking burgers, man. I'm starving." Ryan said to the small changeling.

"What's a burger?"

"Just shut up and keep pushing..."

After about a minute they continued to see nothing but hallway after hallway, occasionally passing by a few ponies who would give them odd looks. In the cart, Ryan made a silent prayer to have another drink and like magic a bottle of Sweet Apple Ale appeared in his hands.

Fuckin magic, dude...rules

He twisted the cap off and took a swig, letting out a content hum as the liquid poured down his throat.

They passed by several more ponies while going down the hall, each one giving them a look of both confusion and curiosity. Silver almost bumped into a thestral guard at one point, but just barely managed to turn away from him.

The changeling was starting to get tired from pushing Ryan. He was heavier than he looked, which led her to eventually stop in the middle of the hall to catch her breath.

Ryan quickly took notice of the lack of movement and turned his head. It wasn't enough to see Silver, but it was as far as his neck could go in his current position. "What's wrong? You gettin tired?"

"A little bit. I'm sorry."

"It's cool, take a break. A couple more minutes won't kill us." He said, taking another sip of the ale.

Once Silver was able to breathe properly again, she returned to pushing the cart.

With boredom eventually sinking in after minutes more of going down seemingly endless hallways, Ryan decided that the best way to pick up the mood would be to sing a song.

"~I walk in the bar and

the fellas all cheer,

They order me up

a whiskey and beer.

You ask me why

I'm writing this poem,

Some call it a tavern

but I call it home.

Fuck you, I'm drunk!

Fuck you I'm drunk!

Pour my beer down the sink,

I've got more in the trunk!

Fuck you I'm drunk!

Fuck you, I'm drunk!

And I'm going to be drunk

until the next time I'm drunk!"

If their current predicament wasn't enough to get them stared at from all directions, then this definitely did it. He went on to finish the song and Silver couldn't make heads or tails of it.

"That doesn't even make sense." She quipped, "How can you get drunk if you are already drunk?"

"Cause fuck you, that's how."

Gourmet was having a rather slow day. There were no big meetings, so minus having to cook and prepare meals for the princesses, he didn't have a whole lot to do today. Seeing how this was how the day was playing out, he predicted that he would be able to leave early and go home to his wife and kids with little interruption.

Boy was he wrong.

In a fraction of a second he heard some obnoxious singing coming from the hallway and before long the kitchen door slowly began opening. He half expected to see somepony walk in, but instead was greeted with a small changeling pushing the ever-so-infamous human in a cart into the kitchen.

The two came to a stop once they got passed the door and started looking around, the human never leaving his mobile transport. Gourmet grumbled at the sight. He knew that Luna's mate was the one who took his expensive wines a while back and since then has held a bit of a grudge.

He walked over to the two, quickly earning their attention, and stood before them with a reprimanding look on his face. "What do you think you're doing in here?"

Silver was about to answer, but was cut off as Ryan spoke up, slowing pulling himself out of the cart and leaning against it to keep him somewhat balanced. "Well, sir. We were just looking to get a quick meal before we went off to bed."

"It's seven o'clock in the afternoon..."

Gourmet and Ryan had a small stare down before the human chugged down the last of his ale and smashed the bottle over the pony's head. He instantly fell to the ground, unconscious.

You got knocked the fuck out!

Ryan eyed the pony for a second before walking around and digging through pantries. Silver walked up to the pony and gave him several pokes in the side. He was out cold and likely wouldn't be getting back up any time soon. "Why did you do that?"

"He was being a dick." Ryan said as he continued sifting through several cabinets, finding mostly a bunch of herbs and spices. Eventually he found his way into the fridge and spotted a small, white frosted cake.

It aint no burger, but it'll do.

He grabbed the cake from its shelf and pulled it out of the fridge, but before he could turn away he spotted several bottles of wine hidden in the back. He hummed to himself as he pondered a thought before coming to a conclusion. He set the cake down and grabbed the bottles, tossing them into the cart. With those out of the way he grabbed the cake and let himself fall back into the cart, his back resting on the bottles and the cake resting on his stomach.

Ryan raised a hand into the air, two fingers pointing toward the exit. "Onward!"

Luna's commander of the thestral guard entered her office, holding a stack of documents in his hands and reading through them one final time before closing them and bowing before the princess. "Your highness?"

Luna looked up from her desk at the thestral who had entered. He was supposed to be delivering a follow up report to her about the changelings from the hive Ryan had been kidnapped to. "Ah, commander. Any news that I should be aware of?"

The commander rose from his bow and placed the documents onto her desk, allowing her to look through them. "Hardly, your majesty. With their queen eliminated they have receded deeper into the Badlands. No sign of retaliation has been identified thus far. It seems, with their queen gone, they are lost. We see no further problems from them in the immediate future."

She nodded, going over the files herself to confirm what he had just told her. "Very well. Thank you, commander. You are relieved for the rest of the evening."

He bowed once more before thanking her and making his way to the door. He paused as he was just about to leave and turned back toward Luna. "If I may, your highness? I did see something rather peculiar today."

Luna's attention moved from the files back to the thestral. "Anything dire?"

"Not dire, but definitely odd."

She gave him a curious look and leaned back into her chair. "Proceed."

"While I was making my way here, I spotted the young changeling you have welcomed into the castle." He explained. "She was pushing a shopping cart around through the hallways."

The princess wasn't sure what to think about this. It didn't seem malevolent, or bad in any way, but it was weird. "That does sound strange."

"It gets stranger. If I'm remembering correctly, your mate was inside of the cart."

There was a moment of silence as Luna tried to piece together what she had just heard. "I think I'm going to go check up on that."

Ryan pointed at the door to his bedroom, signaling for Silver to take them there. "Here it is, let's go."

She pushed the cart toward the room, the guards standing just outside of it being gracious enough to opened the door for her. She thanked them and made her way in with the human still settled into his spot within the cart.

Once inside the doors closed behind them and Ryan climbed out of the cart, being careful not to drop the cake he had been holding. He placed the pastry on the bed, making sure to stare at it for a few long second so he knew it wouldn't fall. "Good shit!"

Silver looked up at the cake. "It does look really yummy."

Ryan's gaze at the frosted treat was almost hypnotic. At this moment, that cake was all his intoxicated mind wanted. "Yes it does...You ready to help me eat this thing."

"Oh yeah."

They were about to dig in when the door opened, causing both of them to turn around and face whoever may be entering; Ryan standing directly in front of the cake so it would not be seen.

To their dismay, the one who had entered was Luna, who seemed to be wearing a curious look on her face. She glanced around the room, spotting the cart, which clearly had something in it, then stopping at the human and the changeling, who seemed to be hiding something.

Her eyes narrowed at the two, her arms crossing as she glared at them. "What's going on you two?"

"Nothing!" They replied in unison.

Luna stared them down for a few seconds, noting that Ryan's body seemed to be wobbling around even while he was standing still. She sniffed the air, a familiar aroma seemed to be floating around the room as well. She followed the smell all the way to Ryan before taking another whiff right in front of his face. "Have you been drinking again?"

Nope!

"No..."

One of her eyebrows raised at him, her stern gaze never faltering for even a second. Silver was already starting to shake in her boots...Okay, if she were wearing boots she'd be shaking in them. Don't judge me!

Uh...mrrr!

"Okay, maybe a little..."

She lifted a hand and lightly pushed the side of his shoulder. His lack of balance suddenly kicked in and Ryan collapsed to the floor for the second time today.

Ouch...

"Okay, maybe a lot."

Her gaze wandered up to the bed and her eyes widened as she spotted the cake that was hidden behind him. She looked back down at Ryan and leaned down, to help him up.

Once he was back on his feet Luna pulled him into a tight hug. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to ruin the surprise!"

Silver was the only one who seemed to register what Luna had just said. "What?"

Luna was so busy with her forced embrace that she didn't even hear the changeling and focused on trying to apologize. "I should have just stayed at work until it was actually time to leave." She released Ryan and gave him a big fat kiss on his cheek. "How did you even know it was my birthday today?"

Drunk or not, I will help you save this!

Ryan's head bobbed slightly with how Luna was treating him. This gave his mind time to get a few gears turning. "I have my ways. Hell, it's not like I wasn't going to find out and set this up for you...so, yeah! Happy fuckin birthmas."

Okay, I fucked that up a little.

Luna chuckled at him. He was such an adorable drunk. She was still a little upset for spoiling the surprise, but Ryan didn't seemed bothered by it. Maybe she hadn't ruined it completely. "Thank you, love."

Ryan leaned over toward the cart, grabbing one of the bottles of wine and holding it out in front of her the way a waiter would. "A drink for the lovely birthday girl?"

She smiled and grabbed the bottle, looking it over for herself. Her eyes nearly bulged out of her sockets as she read the label out loud. "Sparkling Honey Moscoto? This wine only comes from the honey farms on the other side of Equestria! How did you get a bottle?"

"I know a guy." He said with a shrug.

A guy who's currently passed out on the kitchen floor.

Luna wrapped her arms around Ryan, this time kissing him on the lips. "You spoil me, you know that?"

"I could say the same thing to you." He laughed, "So, how about some cake? I hope you don't mind, but I asked Silver to join us. She did help me get everything here after all."

The princess looked down at Silver, who was smiling nervously and giving her a small wave. She smiled at her, easing the little ones nerves some. "Of course not."

Luna looked back at Ryan and leaned into his ear. "Later, I'll make sure to give you a present for being so sweet."

His body shuddered slightly. You know; The good kind of shudder you get when a fine ass woman basically tells you that she's gonna fuck your brains out for the next couple of hours.

"I'll cut the cake!" Luna proclaimed, using her magic to make knife appear in her hand before making her way over to the bed to get a few slices ready for everyone.

Ryan took a deep breath as a sudden wave of relief washed over him. He felt a light tugging on his shirt and looked down to see Silver motioning for him to lower himself. He complied and she leaned up to his ear. "I'm confused, did you actually know it was her birthday?"

"Of course I knew it was her birthday. I wouldn't have been getting this stuff together otherwise." He said out loud, turning his head to see Luna smiling at him with a blush on her face.

When she turned back to the bed to continue cutting the cake, Ryan looked back at Silver and nodded while mouthing the words, 'I had no fucking idea'.

Author's Notes:

Just because, why the fuck not. I hope you enjoy the little chapter I made here today, don't really have much else to say so...yeah. Hope you all enjoy. Feel free to leave a comment below, comments make me feel special. I'll see you all next time. Adios!

Song used:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MnF6tonFY4