Ryan's vision was completely black, his body felt numb and nonexistent. It was quiet, peaceful even. Is this what being dead is like? He wondered if death was truly this peaceful, if it was then he had no idea why he didn't try it sooner. Then again, this was getting pretty boring. Scratch that last part, being dead sucks. Nothing is going on at all, it's not peaceful, it's lifeless. There is literally nothing going on! Trying to convince nuns that sex is a gateway into heaven was more entertaining than this.

Would you just wake up already!

He was stirred from his comatose-like state, only to find himself heaving and coughing up small waves of water. It hurt, like a lot, but his body didn't seem like it was about to stop until it was all out. What the hell happened?

Once Ryan had gotten as much fluid out of his lungs, and likely his stomach, as he could he started taking deep and greedy breaths. His brain could only think to compare him to a virgin being forced to deep-throat for the first time at this very moment as his chest rose and sank with purpose.

"Are you okay?" An unfamiliar voice asked him. He found this to be a bit odd, seeing how he had kinda just drowned, but then again, how long was he out? And who the hell is talking to him? Did he just float over to some random chunk of land, or was he spotted by a tuna boat?

Regardless off how he survived, he was just happy to be alive. Purgatory, or whatever the fuck that was, was too boring and uneventful for his tastes. Well, he should probably thank whoever got his ass out of the worst afterlife ever. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for-Sweet, merciful Buddha! What the fuck?"

Ryan had seen some shit in his life, but this took the metaphorical, shit-stained cake. When his vision finally cleared completely, he found himself laying on his back, propped up on his elbows, and being straddled by what he hoped was at least female.

I see boobs, it's a woman.

Taking a mental sigh of relief that he wasn't about to be raped by some weird purple guy, he started focusing on the person...thing...this bitch on his lap. First off, she was purple, duh. Secondly, she had some long, but very soft looking, ears. Then there was the muzzle, that's fucking weird, and her whole body looked like it was covered in very short hair, minus her head which had some weird colors to it. Finally, there was a fucking spear on her head and a set of big ass wings on her back.

Sweet Jesus, we're in Furryland.

Ryan spotted two more people that resembled the woman on top of him in some physical attributes and mentally pleaded that his body didn't float to some secret furry city. The fear of getting raped once again flew back into his mind. He found himself soon being approached by a much darker looking woman. Her fur coat being blue and she had oddly flowing hair that looked like stars in the night sky...Damn, for a furry chick she has a fucking figure!

"Is there...some sort of problem?" The dark blue furry asked. She seemed nervous for some reason, which was weird because she was the one surrounded by her own people, so she should be just fine. If anything Ryan was the one who was supposed to be freaking out and probably running. However, he found his body was too...weighed down to move. This purple bitch may not look like much, but she's heavier than she looks.

"Umm, could you like get the hell off of me." He asked the purple furry on top of him. His request earned him a quick apology and the much appreciated freedom of having his lower body freed from her rather warm backside. Wow, he was cold. He was kind half tempted to ask her to sit back down.

Ryan rose to his feet, wrapping his arms around his own form to hug himself warm. His body shivered as he tried to raise his own external temperature. His attempts were in vain and now he just looked like a cat that had been left outside during a thunderstorm.

"Here, allow me to help you." Came another voice, this one being from a regal looking white person. Who wears thin white dresses like that? Medieval queens and hippies? His thoughts were interrupted when the pole sticking out of her cranium started glowing yellow and a towel appeared in his arms.

Ryan took a moment of silence to let the fact that a towel just seemed to show up out of thin air sink in, letting his brain take some time to register what just happened. After his moment felt as if it held its due amount of time, he asked it for confirmation that all that had just transpired was reasonable.

I-uh-I-I...uh...Moo...

Shit...

His mind instinctively, when it could not handle what had just happened, jumped to the next best thing. He was cold and he had a towel, two plus two is fish, therefore...eat the towel.

No, you retard! Dry yourself off, it's cold!

Yeah, that would probably be a good idea too. Ryan kept his mouth shut and quickly dried the water in his hair before allowing himself to be wrapped inside of the absorbent cloth. His eyes wandered back onto the three furies in front of him. It was weird how realistic their suits looked.

Whenever one of them spoke, the mouth and lips were perfectly in sync with their words. There were no noticeable zippers or gloves or lining. And, finally, their ears moved. Everything they had was so on point and the fur, despite being weird colors, looked as if it were actually coming out of them.

"Greetings and salutations; So, before anything else. Thanks for saving my ass back there." He said, not really sure what else to do in this situation. "Yeah...so where am I and who are you people?" He figured he may as well ask. Better to get to know them than just walking away. That would be just plain rude.

The group looked at each other before facing Ryan again. The first one to step up was the white one, making Ryan wonder if races were a problem here. If so, then thank god he was white and wouldn't be lynched on the spot.

Celestia was actually very surprised with how well he seemed to be taking the fact that he was standing in front of creatures that were not of his own species. Perhaps he's highly intelligent, or maybe even dealt with other species like her on a regular basis. "Good evening to you, I am Princess Celestia; Co-ruler of Equestria and Princess of the sun."

Co-ruler of what now? Ryan was fairly certain he was in the U.S. when he jumped off of that cliff and there was no way in ball-fondling hell that his body managed to float all the way to another country. At least, not without it taking several years, his body decomposing, or being eaten. In any of those cases, he would not have been able to be brought back.

Next to step up was the dark blue furry. She was dressed like a total rebel, which was kinda hot to Ryan. He loves women who go against what society see them as, it made them look powerful. He liked powerful women; someone that could beat his ass when he really deserved it. The kinda chick that you could tackle to the ground and the first words out of her mouth weren't 'Ow, stop!' they were more like 'Now you fucked up!'

Despite her tough appearance, he could see in her eyes that something was making her nervous. he might try to figure it out at some point, but introductions had to come first. "I'm Princess Luna; Co-ruler of Equestria and Princess of the night."

Wait, Princess of the day and night? This wasn't just a furry ground meeting, this was a society! A whole role playing society! While Ryan was no stranger to some role playing, he wasn't into the whole animal thing, so he probably wouldn't join, but at this point in time, he was outnumbered. Just keep playing the nice-guy card and maybe they won't cut his nuts off.

Finally the purple one, that may or may not have molested him, was taking the stand. "And my name is Twilight Sparkle. The princess of friendship." Ryan snickered a bit at this, but held his tongue as to not burst out laughing.

Princess of friendship? Really!? What kind of title is that? It sounds like some bullshit excuse just to call yourself royalty. Where's the princess of love, or hate, or even fucking bugs? Bet money there's a princess for every non-tangible thing here. Bet everyone here is probably the princess of something!

Well find the Princess of sandwiches. We haven't eaten in fourteen hours

Holy shit, it's been that long? Guess time really flies when you're running from cops, jumping to your death, dying, then being brought back to life...Holy shit, today was eventful. "I hate to ask this, but do y'all got something to eat. It's been a while and I don't really know where I am."

"Of course, right this way." Celestia replied, still beyond surprised at how well he was handling this information. She desperately wanted to know why he was so quick to accept them.

"If I may inquire;" Celestia began as she exited the room with the rest of the group following close behind her, "I'm rather shocked at how well you are absorbing everything we've told you. Why is that?"

He didn't see the harm in answering honestly, but just to be safe he would have to be careful with his words. Especially since wherever he was they were considered royalty. Jesus Christ, this place is huge. "Hey, it's your life, live it however you want. I won't judge, I've got my own little guilty pleasures."

Celestia stopped, causing everyone else to follow suit. The sun god turned around to face the human, eyeing him awkwardly. She went from thinking about how well he was handling this to wondering if he actually knew at all what was going on. "I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand what you mean."

He felt strangely inferior as this woman seemed to gaze into his soul. It was like she was an owl and he was not more than a small mouse just looking up at her like a deer in headlights. "Well, I'm just saying I'm not gonna judge you guys for being furies and whatnot. You did a hell of a job on those costumes though, I gotta say. I have a few friends who are into that kind of stuff, but none of them have come up with something this unique."

Now it was Twilight's turn to question the human as she gave him an awkward stare as well. "You think that we're in costume? Why would you think that?"

"Come on," Ryan began, "do you actually expect me to believe that you guys are some sort of anthropomorgic-whatever the fuck it's called kind of animals? That's ridiculous, things like that don't actually exist. You and I both know this, I don't see why I'm even telling you. You can drop the act."

Luna stepped forward. "Sir, I can assure you that all of this is real. I'm sure that there are even ways we could prove to you that we are not lying." Luna grabbed Ryan's arm and lead him to the window. He, being in his current state of mind, walked with her without a second thought. Upon looking out of the window his eyes went wide. He saw hundreds of people with horns wandering around this fancy town he seemed to be in.

Ryan let out a short mock laugh before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a blue pocket knife. "I'm gonna prove that this isn't real. Bet money that right now this is some weird fucking dream." He placed his hand firmly against the window and flipped the blade open with his other hand.

Luna, like a god damn ninja, grabbed the blade of out his hand with her magic just as he went to stab himself. With the blade gone he merely punched his hand, causing him to yelp slightly from the force he put behind his intentions. She watched as his mind not only processed the pain, but also that the weapon he had was gone.

He looked to his sides and soon found his knife surrounded in an odd bluish hue, floating beside Luna. The pain said this was real, but his mind was moving a miles an hour trying to find some logical explanation for all of this. Naturally, his primary survival instincts kicked in. The ones that have saved his life many times in the past and somehow managed to do so even in the face of death...

Run you dumb son of bitch!

And with that he was off, sprinting down the hallway as fast as his legs could possibly carry him. His brain was begging for answers to so many questions. Where was he, how did he get here, what baby did he punch in a past life to piss off god so much that simply sending him to hell just wasn't enough?

Never mind that! Now is not the time for questions, now is the time for running. And Ryan did just that, sprinting through corridors, not even sure what he was running from, just running because his mind told him to. Usually when he was in a state of panic, it was because someone was trying to kill him. So this was basically programmed into his brain.

He was starting to run out of breath and shoved himself through the first door he could find. However, he ended up slipping on the wet floor that just so happened to grace his feet, causing him to fall straight onto his ass and slide a couple of inches. He quickly realized that during the fall he had closed his eyes and upon opening them was greeted by the sight of a naked-"Holy shit!"

That thing is a foot long!

"What the fuck!?" Ryan had some issues with the wet floor and trying to get to his feet, but once he was up he charged out of the room and slammed the door, leaning against it to take a break and catch his breath. Upon further inspection he found a sign above the door that read 'Guard's Shower Room'.

His features sank and he slapped his hand against his head. His own stupidity fed into that brief nightmare and he knew it. He should have been paying attention. One could only assume that-"Hi there."

Ryan jumped slightly and let out a less-than-manly shriek thanks to the voice behind him. He turned around to face whoever may have found him and came face to face with a woman covered in red fur with long brown hair and wearing some weird kind of armor.

She had a rather thick accent that sounded Russian to him. "So, you are running from the princesses, no?"

"Maybe..."

"Relax, I am not here to hurt you."

"What are you here to do then?" He asked, trying to read her features to see what her actual intentions with him were.

"The princesses merely wish to speak with you, all they want is to talk."

She seemed sincere about her words, but that's just what he could read from her features. He hasn't met a lot of Russians so it was hard for him to find any faults in her voice. Naturally, he was very skeptical and on guard. "How the hell do I know y'all aren't gonna dissect me or something. You know, like how you treat all sentient beings from other worlds!"

The guard pony stared him down for a moment. What would make him think that they wanted to cut him open? Something like that isn't just assumed, it had to have been implanted in his head somehow. "You are very interesting species. We will not harm you, I promise this. But, you must come with me so we can speak to princess."

Ryan gave a sigh of defeat. Even if he did manage to escape, which his chances weren't very high to begin with, he had no idea what he would do to get by. And if these people truly are royalty, as they so claim, then what's to stop them from sending out a bunch of guards to hunt him down like a dog. "Fine, let's get this over with."

The woman smiled at him, but as he went to take a step the puddles forming from his soaked clothing managed to catch his foot, causing him to slip again and fall backwards. The back of his head made contact with the floor, landing pretty hard and causing an annoying ringing in his ears that wouldn't go away. "Brain, status report!"

Daddy, why can't I go to ballet class?

"Fuck!" He yelled to himself. Suddenly his body was lifted off of the ground and thrown over the guard woman's shoulder. Holy shit, she is strong. She had managed to pick him up and in one motion throw him over her shoulder and walk like he was no heavier than an iguana!

Ryan used every ounce of his will-power to stay awake. From a hit like that he could only assume he would have a concussion and sleep might just be all it takes to kill him. Despite this, he was carried into the kitchen and gently placed in a chair. Looking around he saw the three oddly colored women from earlier. Deciding he was going to take charge he spoke quickly and firmly. "Okay, y'all got five minutes to tell me what the hell is going on. I wanna know where I am, I wanna know how I got here, why I'm here, and I wanna know yesterday! So let's hear it."

The three princesses looked to each other and nodded before Celestia decided that she would be the one to speak on behalf of all of them. "Very well..."