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Group Precipitation

by FanOfMostEverything

Chapter 381: Illegal Precendent, by Firemind and FoME

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(Firemind)

"Thirty hours! A little over a day!" Shining Armor grumbled, followed by a deep sigh of frustration that echoed through the nearly empty police station. "The world changed yesterday, and some ding-dongs use their newfound powers tonight to break the law right here in Canterlot!"

"And it took three hours in Manehattan!" Sergeant Coppertop was right as always; she'd always had a way of putting things into perspective. He'd be hard-pressed to think of a better partner. "And besides, you know those two are frequent flyers for underage drinking offenses. What did you expect Hoops and Dumbbell would do once they figured out they could literally fly?"

Shining gave a grudging nod. "And like you said, it's not like they're the only ones who're being... creative about it."

At that point, a rather familiar woman in her early forties entered the station, and—after a preliminary metal detector scan—made her way over to Shining Armor's desk. "Please have a seat Mrs. Press, I'm sure you're itching to know what your son and nephew got up to this time."

Mrs. Press, an athletic pegasus aspect, sat down at one of the two empty chairs in front of the desk. "The usual?" she asked, a weary expression playing across her tawny features.

"Yeah, with a twist. They flew up to the library's roof, split a case of Mulewalkee's Best, and were singing Freebird off-key by the time I found them." Shining gave her a moment to process that before he went on. "They freely admitted to all of this, and they both blew .11 on the breathalyzer, so there's not much chance of them getting off on this one."

"So same thing as last time?" Mrs. Press groaned deeply.

"Not quite," said Coppertop. "The bail's the same, but there's an added charge of indecent exposure. Your boys are gonna be lucky to avoid a stint in juvie." At the other woman's surprised reaction, the sergeant continued, "When we were searching for them after hearing their singing, one of them, we don't know which, shouted 'Look out below!' and peed off of the roof."


(FoME)

Sunset didn't hear about this until a few days later, when the universe had stabilized enough that she could risk splitting her focus with a human-scale avatar. By that point, Hoops and Dumbbell's latest arrest was old news to Rainbow Dash, and it was actually Twilight who brought it up.

"It's perhaps the least flattering demonstration of human ingenuity I could ever imagine," Twilight said long into the catch-up session/interrogation at the Boutique.

Sunset shrugged. "Well, if nothing else, it's proof that I didn't 'mind whammy' the population as badly as you guys thought. Otherwise I'd have had them do something more intelligent."

"I'm pretty sure you'd have to zombify those two to pull that off," said Dash. "No offense."

She froze under a gold-glowing stare like a desert at dawn. "I can literally reduce you to ash with a thought now," Sunset said far too casually. "Just saying."

Dash gulped. "Aren't you all, you know, 'peace, love, and harmony'-y now?"

"There's a limit."

Rarity cleared her throat. "Moving off of the topic of disintegrations, deserved or otherwise, did you mean for something like this to happen?"

"Depends," said Sunset. "Magical crimes? No. Leaving people the freedom to commit them? Sure. Free will includes the freedom to make mistakes. I'm already cleaning up the mess I made of the cosmos. I'm not going to be everyone's nanny on top of that."

Twilight gave her a lopsided grin. "You do realize people are already talking about religiously venerating you."

Sunset waved that off. "Please. Worshiping some random girl just because she's holding the universe together? Like that would ever happen."

Next Chapter: Clever Hans Approves, by FoME and Malandy Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 17 Minutes
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