Author's Notes:

Blog post about this project here for anyone wondering why I decided to write this or just what I was thinking.

Enjoy!

Chapter 1: Replacement Light Purple Freindfish

Sunset Shimmer, cheeks red, smile embarrassed, stood in a long hallway of Twilight’s castle, identical crystalline doors flanking her and a gushing light purple unicorn mare with a dark purple mane that had a light blue stripe through it standing in front of her.

“Er… Seriously…” Sunset said sheepishly. “This is so not a big deal…”

“Not a big deal?!” Starlight exclaimed. “You’re an alicorn! I mean… When Twilight told me she knew someone else she had helped with friendship that was coming to help me, I had no idea it was another alicorn!”

Sunset rubbed the back of her head with a forehoof. “Well, the alicorn thing is new… Like really, really new, and… not to put her down or anything, but ‘helped’ might be giving Twilight just a little too much credit. It’s more she and our friends, though they weren’t my friends at the time, blasted me with magic, rainbow friendship rays until I was no longer a demon. Then Twilight said I deserved a second chance then sort of foisted me on our friends in that parallel world…” Sunset smiled. “Twilight’s great and all, but really it’s my other friends who deserve the credit for what I learned about friendship.”

Rarity placed her hands onto Sunset Shimmer’s shoulders, gripping her leather jacket tightly as she stared deeply into the fiery-haired woman’s eyes. “Alright Sunset Shimmer, I’m not going to tell you this is going to be easy, because let’s face it. It’s not. The entire school hates you!”

“With good reason!” Pinkie said cheerfully as she held a pie tin.

“I hate you!”

“With good reason!” Pinkie added cheerfully.

Sunset puffed out her lower lip into a sad pout as Rarity continued.

“I mean, you made my life a living hell for the better part of a semester and turned all my best friends against each other and me in the process! You should feel lucky I’m not trying to dress you in polka dots and stripes!”

“YEAH!” Applejack chimed in angrily as she stormed up to Sunset Shimmer. She held an accusatory index finger under Sunset’s chin. “All fer what?! Another crown?! A trophy?! What?!”

Sunset shrunk a bit in Rarity’s grasp. “Er… The Spring Fling champion gets a plaque actually…”

“Well good for you!” Applejack said angrily. “Was it all worth it?!”

Sunset gulped. “Not at this particular moment, no.”

“Hey,” Rainbow Dash piped up. “I have plaque for you right here!” She said as she handed Sunset Shimmer a piece of paper.

Sunset frowned. “This isn’t really a plaque as just a piece of…” Sunset whimpered as she read the paper which only contained the phrase ‘U SUK!’ “Okay… yeah… I see what’s happening here.”

“Do you darling?!” Rarity said as her forehead tightened. “Do you really?!”

“Erm… Uh… Sunset Shimmer?”

Sunset winced as the mousy girl with the pink hair addressed her. “Uh… Yes, Fluttershy?”

“Er… Well… since everyone is sharing how they feel about you, I just wanted to say I want to strip you naked, cover you with wet cat food, and watch as a bunch of shelter cats eat and lick it all off of you.”

“… WHAT?!” Sunset exclaimed.

“Fluttershy! EW!” Pinkie cried.

“What in tarnation?!” Applejack yelled.

“What the heck, Shy?!” Rainbow Dash shouted.

Rarity turned towards Fluttershy. “Fluttershy dear, I know we’re all mad at Sunset Shimmer, but that’s just going a little bit too far.”

Fluttershy’s face turned beet red as she looked over Sunset Shimmer and her friends. “Er… Right...” she said timidly. “Mad…”

Pinkie Pie suddenly skipped up to Sunset. “Don’t worry Sunset! Twilight told us all to teach you about friendship and that’s exactly what we’re going to do!”

Sunset gave Pinkie a small smile. “Thanks Pinkie Pie. Look everyone, I’m really sorry about—”

Pinkie Pie suddenly thrust her huge collection of curls against Sunset’s cheek. “Don’t worry about all that right now!” She said with a beaming smile. “The important thing is I made you a mud pie!” She said as she thrust the pie under Sunset’s face.

Sunset looked down at the pie as her expression sank. “This is literally mud, isn’t it?”

Pinkie clenched her teeth together as her brow tightened. “Eat the pie!” she said in an angry tone.

“Uh… Sunset?” Starlight said in an unsure tone. “Sunset Shimmer?”

“Hmm…?” Sunset shook her head as if she was trying to shake away a heavy fog. “Sorry… just… remembering something… How long was I out for?”

“Er… About a minute.”

Sunset cringed. “That bad, huh?”

Starlight Glimmer smiled. “It’s fine! I’m just so lucky to have two alicorns teaching me about friendship! I still can’t believe Twilight is making friendship lessons just for me, teaching me personally about friendship, and letting me live with her!”

Sunset’s left eye twitched. “Me, neither!” she said with a forced smile.

“Oh, but I don’t want to think I’m not grateful for you too, Sunset!” Starlight’s ears flopped down around her head as she stared at the hallway floor. “I’m just really lucky I haven’t been banished or even locked up in Tartarus with all the stuff I pulled.”

Sunset smiled. “Hey, if any pony can relate to almost destroying the world because they thought they were doing the right thing, it’s me.” Sunset’s smile turned a bit sheepish. “I mean… I turned into a demon trying to turn myself into an alicorn and almost started a war with Equestria…” She chuckled as she turned to look at her wings. “Who’d have thought I’d do that accidentally while trying to save my friends?” Shaking her head, Sunset turned back to Glimmer. “Guess some things just have to happen naturally instead of someone trying to selfishly do the right thing.”

Smiling, Glimmer gulped. “Well… I mean, trying to destroy cutie marks for Equality was sorta trying to do the right thing… All the horrible different worlds that happened because of time travel was just because I wanted revenge.”

Sunset paused awkwardly for a moment. “… So in any of those worlds Twilight went to, did she ever mention one ruled by an evil me, or good me? Or heck… even a morally ambiguous me? No? Demon? World ruled by a demon? No…? Right, no… that’s fine.”

Starlight chuckled to herself nervously. “Well… I’m glad Twilight sent for someone who can really relate to my problem.”

“Oh, actually this was my idea,” Sunset said. “Hehehe… Twilight told me about you and I offered to help… Ha ha ha!” Sunset grit her teeth. “I’m honestly not sure why she didn’t suggest that in the first place. HeheheHAHAHA!”

“Uh…Why’s that funny?”

“I HAVE to laugh otherwise I’ll start crying! HeheheheHAHAHAHA!”

“Er…” Starlight nodded down the hallway with an awkward smile on her face. “Maybe you can help me find the library?”

Sunset looked down the hallway of identical doors. “Wow, this place is huge.”

Starlight nodded. “I know! It looks a lot smaller on the outside!”

Sunset chuckled. “Maybe Twilight is secretly a Time Lady…”

Starlight frowned. “I was the one who caused all the time travel stuff… remember?”

“Uh… Never mind!” Sunset said with a slightly embarrassed smile. “Sorta forgot what world I was on for a second there.”

“Sure, sure…” Starlight said with a smile. “Maybe it’s this door?” she asked in unsure tone as she opened the nearest door with her magic.

Inside Spike was brushing his teeth with a band around his head keeping his fins back and a towel around his waist. Spike turned with a smile. “Hi, girls!”

“Hi, Spike!” Sunset greeted cheerfully.

“Whoops!” Starlight said as she closed the door.

Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Problem?”

“He’s brushing his teeth while wearing a towel!”

“Uh… yeah?” Sunset said. “So?”

“And it’s uh… embarrassing?”

“For who, exactly?”

The door opened, revealing Spike who was still wearing the towel and headband. “You two know I can hear everything you say, right?”

“Eek!” Starlight cried as she dove behind Sunset Shimmer.

Sunset glanced at Starlight then turned to Spike. “Right but…” She smiled. “Guess I’m just used to seeing you as a dog where you don’t wear any clothes.”

“Oh, I don’t usually wear clothes here, either.”

Sunset raised an eyebrow and took another glance at Starlight. “Oh… okay?”

“Yep!” Spike said as he removed his towel and used it to dry the area under his tail. “I’m all natural, baby!”

“Aaah!” Starlight cried as she covered her eyes with a forehoof.

Sunset crossed her eyes and looked upwards with a slightly vexed expression. “Okay… yeah… sure… er… Could you point us towards the library?” she asked with a smile. “All the doors look the same, and there's no signs or anything.” Sunset rolled her eyes. “If only we knew someone who enjoyed making things clear and organized to the point of obsession who would take care of this.”

“Huh…” Spike uttered. “Well, in Twilight’s defense… She, uh… hmmm…” Spike rubbed his chin with a claw, letting his towel fall to the floor. “See there was a couple times the map made her butt vibrate and… er… she's been… been… something, something books... Yeah, I got nothing,” he said with a shrug. Spike pointed at a nearby door. “The library is right there!”

Sunset chuckled. “Thanks, Spike!” she replied.

“Anytime, ladies!” Spike said with a wave as he walked back into the bathroom and closed the door.

Starlight lifted the forehoof off her eyes. “Is he… is he gone?”

Sunset rolled her eyes. “Yes, Spike in his slightly moister, less nude than usual glory is back in the bathroom.”

“I can still hear yooooou~!” Spike replied through the door.

“That’s fiiiine~!” Sunset replied.

“Let’s… let’s just go see Twilight, “ Starlight said with flushed cheeks.

“Sure!” Sunset said as she walked towards the library door and opened it with a turquoise glow of her horn.

Inside, Twilight was busily writing on a long list with a quill. “Acceptance, mm-hmm. Altruism, definitely.” She looked towards the door as Sunset and Starlight walked in. “Sunset, Starlight, good morning, come in!”

“Good morning, Twilight,” Sunset said with a smile.

“Sorry I’m late,” Starlight said. “I got a little turned around… I still can’t believe you’re letting me stay here… as your pupil… after everything I did!”

With a slightly askew smile, Sunset’s entire head twitched. “Me too…”

Starlight turned towards Sunset with sad eyes and a puffed out lip.

“Er… I mean… we’re both so lucky that Twilight is soooo forgiving!” Sunset turned towards Twilight. “Right?”

Twilight smiled and nodded. “Of course! I’m not one to dwell on the past…”

Sunset did her best to hold onto her somewhat twisted smile as images of Sunset offering Twilight her hand when Twilight first returned to Canterlot High flashed through Sunset’s head. A sound like a gunshot rang through her mind as she remembered Twilight hesitating to grab the hand.

“… and neither should you, Starlight. The castle is your home now…”

Sunset felt a shooting pain in her head as another mental gunshot went off.

“… and as for being my pupil goes, I was just trying to figure out what your first friendship lesson should be.”

And yet another shot rang out as Sunset’s right eye began twitching erratically.

Starlight looked at the scroll Twilight was working on. “Oh, well, it looks like you’re really narrowing it down!”

“Oh, these are just the A's,” Twilight answered. “After this, I move on to the B's!” she said as she motioned to table loaded with papers and scrolls.

Starlight cringed then forced a smile as he ears flopped down around her head.

Sunset shook her head hard before she stared at the table. “You’re… you’re making up friendship lessons by going through the dictionary and picking words that teach people to be nice?!”

“Well, sure!” Twilight answered cheerfully. “I mean… How did you learn about friendship?”

Sunset thought for a moment.

“Store-brand fish flakes?!” Sunset cried angrily as she waved a canister of fish flakes around. “STORE-BRAND FISH FLAKES?! OKAY, SURE! I’LL JUST GET THESE AND WRITE LITTLE SUNNY A NOTE THAT SAYS MOMMY DOESN’T LOVE HIM AND THEN GET HIM A TINY FISH-SIZED, WATERPROOF GUN SO HE CAN SHOOT HIMSELF IN THE HEAD! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ANIMALS!”

A pair of yellow hands and a tuft of pink hair stuck out from the pet store counter, their owner clearly shaking as they hid. Small sobs that quickly turned into powerful wails soon poured out of the fearful store clerk.

“Oh, geez!” Sunset said with a cringe. “I’m sorry, Fluttershy!” She said as she held her palms in front of her. “I was just… adlibbing and guess I got a little personal there.”

“Whouhaaaahouaaaaahouaaaaaaa…!”

“Sunset?” Rarity called out. “While I appreciate your enthusiasm for this project and the emotional energy you’re bringing, your line is ‘Store-brand fish flakes? What is this, Communist North Korea?’”

“…houaaaaaaahouaaaaa….”

“Rarity! That doesn’t make any sense!” Sunset cried as she threw her hands into the air. “I mean… What do pet stores, fish food, and North Korea have to do with each other?!”

“…houaaaaaaahouaaaaa….”

“Trust me, darling! It’ll knock them dead! Fluttershy dear, stop crying.”

“…houaaaaaaa…O-okay…” Fluttershy said weakly.

“Alright everyone,” Rarity said. “Let’s try it again…”

Sunset sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “This is going to be the worst play ever…”

“Trial and error?” Sunset replied. “I mean, I’m no princess of friendship but real world experience seemed to do the trick for me.”

Twilight narrowed her eyes. “Wow. What a convenient method that doesn’t require taking meticulous notes on everything.”

“Uh, sorry?” Sunset replied. “But I mean… Real life usually isn’t structured enough for a list of instructions. Surely this method has fallen short for you before…”

Twilight nodded. “Yes, several times. Usually involving friendship.”

“Okay, then why are—”

“I’M NOT READY TO LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE LISTS DON’T SOLVE EVERYTHING!” Twilight cried.

Sunset took a few steps back from Twilight as her ears flopped down around her head. “Er… Alright, Starlight. Why don’t you take a turn talking to Twilight?”

“Erm… Twilight?” Starlight said inquisitively. “I know I'm just learning about friendship, but I didn't think there were this many lessons for anything. How do we choose?”

Sunset raised a forehoof. “I suggest we burn it down and start all over.”

Twilight shot Sunset a dirty look then turned back towards Starlight, putting a smile back on her face. “Maybe I should pare things down a bit before we go through them. Why don't you two join the others in the throne room? They're planning our trip to the Crystal Empire when Shining Armor and Princess Cadance have their baby!”

Sunset put on the fakest smile she could muster. “Well golly gee, Twilight! Thanks for that stunning bit of exposition! I’m sure glad you summed up that information and spoon fed it to us as if we didn’t already know or couldn’t figure out what was going on from talking to anypony!”

Twilight silently glowered at Sunset.

“That was sarcasm by the way. Guess you have quite a few letters before you get to that one.”

Starlight’s apprehensive eyes darted fearfully between Sunset and Twilight as she took a couple steps back from Sunset.

Twilight sighed. “Are you going to be like this the entire day?”

Sunset shook her head. “No, I expect things to get much worse as the day goes on.”

“Ugh!” Twilight cried. “Look is this about how I didn’t come to help you against that other me? Because I already told you I was busy jumping through different timelines, each one worse than the last, and—”

Starlight’s ears flopped down around her head as her eyes went glassy and she let out a whimper.

“Oh, sorry, Starlight!” Twilight said. “I didn’t mean—”

“Wow, Twilight, good going there,” Sunset said.

“Sunset…” Twilight growled out in a warning tone.

“Just… just throw your new friend and friendship student under the bus! Beep! Beep! Princess of Friendship coming through! SPLAT!”

“Sunset, would you please just go to the throne—”

“Nice,” Sunset practically hissed out.

“PLEASE! Just go to the throne ro—”

“Realnice!”

“SUNSET!”

“WHAT?!”

“THRONE ROOM!” Twilight ordered while she pointed towards the door to the library.

“FINE!” Sunset let the anger drop from her face as she turned to look at Starlight. “So… which way to the throne room?”

“I erm… I don’t know…” Starlight said sheepishly.

“… What?!” Sunset exclaimed. “Didn’t you like… Set a trap for Twilight there and just wait for her to show up?! How can you not know where the throne room is?! I mean… Okay… all the hallways and doors look exactly the same, but you spent months stalking her as I understand. I figured you’d have made your own map or blue prints or something…”

Starlight swallowed. “Well I… I… sorta just… just… I-just-floated-myself-up-to-the-open-balcony-and-got-in-that-way-and-I’m-sorry!”

Sunset stared blankly at Starlight for a moment. “Sorry? To which one of us?”

“Uhh… both?”

Sunset turned towards Twilight. “You just leave the balcony doors open?”

“Why wouldn’t I?!” Twilight asked indignantly. “The weather is almost always nice in Ponyville!”

“… You leave the doors open because the weather is nice?! Aren’t you… I don’t know… concerned for your wellbeing as a princess?”

“Why? What could possibly happen?”

“Uh… Irate earth pony throws a boulder at you? Mad pegasus with a machete? One of the many unicorns you’ve apparently run afoul of decides to get revenge?”

Twilight shook her head. “Something like that just wouldn’t happen!”

Sitting in their thrones, each perusing their preferred reading material, Twilight Sparkle and Spike the Dragon enjoyed a nice, quiet, peaceful Ponyville day as the gentle sounds of birds singing wafted in from the open balco—

‘ZORT!’

With a purple flash, Twilight’s hair suddenly changed color into a lime-green tangled mess.

“HAH! TAKE THAT TWILIGHT!” An angry feminine voice called out. “KNOW THAT YOU SUFFER SHAME BY THE HORN OF THE GRRRRRRRREAT AND POWERFUL TRRRRRRRIXIE!”

Spike glanced up from his comic book as Twilight’s horn glowed purple and a page of her own book turned.

“YES! IT WAS I, TRIXIE WHO… who… PAY ATTENTION TO ME, DAMMIT!”

Spike sighed. “Twilight, your mane is an eye searing shade of green.”

“That’s great, Spike,” Twilight said casually.

“TWILIGHT! TWILIGHT! I’M ROOTING THROUGH YOUR GARBAGE CANS AS WE SPEAK, TWILIGHT! WHY AREN’T YOU COMING OUT HERE TO STOP TRIXIE?!”

Spike sighed. “You’re not listening at all, are you?”

“Wow, Spike! That sounds pretty amazing!” Twilight said without looking up from her book.

Spike shook his head, closed his comic book, and put it on the table. “Right, so I’m going to keep eating the west wing of the castle.” He began mumbling to himself as he walked off, “I mean… this is sort of like living in a giant gingerbread house for me…”

“Sounds great, Spike! Count me in!”

“CURSE YOUR KISSABLE MOUTH, TWILIGHT SPARKLE!”

“Fine! Whatever!” Sunset snapped she began walking out of the room. “I guess we’ll just go outside and then let ourselves into the balcony.” She unfurled her wings. “At least I get to try using these… Come on Starlight.”

“Uh… sure…” Starlight said in an unsure tone as she followed Sunset.

Twilight took a calming deep breath as the other two mares trotted out. “Okay… see you soon Starlight Shimmer.”

Sunset stopped dead in her tracks and turned to fire off another glare at Twilight. “Wow. Really?”