I couldn't believe it. I was shocked.

It all started when the girls and I were sitting at Sugarcube Corner, talking and eating. There were seven of us, all chatting normally. We talked about life, and how each other were doing, the normal stuff. I soon decided to make some inappropriate jokes.

I was confused. Not one of them understood the joke. I was sure at least Rarity would understand. If not, then Rainbow Dash. She out of the six I suspected to be the most active at the table.

We talked a bit more after the awkward moment. Then I tried to make another joke. Again, inappropriate.

They didn't get that one either! That was when I was shocked. Did these ponies never make sex jokes before? Or maybe... it's some religious thing like back home. I don't know.

I decided to pull back on the jokes just in case it was some history thing.

It was then after we were done eating, I asked Rainbow Dash, "So? Got banged by any stallions lately?"

She gave me some confused look. Tilting her head to the side and asking, "What do you mean? Are you calling me weak?" She scolded.

What did she mean? I was more confused than her at this point.

"Well?"

I shook my head to compose myself. "I mean, did you have sex recently?"

She looked up at me. I was an inch taller than Princess Twilight Sparkle, who is a bit taller than most ponies herself since she was an alicorn. So I was taller than everypony here except for Big McIntosh really. For human standards, this is pretty short. Below average would describe it. But anyways, at least, it's still above average for ponies.

I waited for her reply. She would either yell at me and say that's private girl things like Rarity or go into slut mode and try to seduce me too-

"What?"

What? What?! What does she mean what?

At this point, I was getting very frustrated. So I started to tell her in different ways, hoping that one will get into her mind.

First, I made the motion with my fingers. Making one set an "O" and using my other index finger to push through.

Nothing but another confused look.

I rubbed my head in frustration. "Did you get penetrated."

"What?"

"Did you suck cock?"

"Huh?"

"Did you take it up the ass?!"

"You're making no sense dude. I don't have a donkey."

"Urg! Did somepony bust a nut in you?"

Nothing.

"Pop your cherry?"

"Gape you?"

"Eat you out?"

"Intercourse?!"

I could swear that this was going on for hours. But in reality, it went on for five minutes.

After those minutes of torment, the fuse went off in my head.

"Doesn't anyone know what having sex is?!"

I breathed heavily. Everyone around me in Sugarcube Corner was frightened.

Then I heard something that relit the fuse.

"What?"

I looked at the purple alicorn, who looked back at me with a confused look.

We stared at each other for many silent minutes, until she spoke.

"You... said sex right?"

"Yes. Do you know what it is?"

"Yes. Yes, I do."

"Oh, thank Celest-"

"Sex is another meaning for gender. Whether you're a stallion or mare, and in human cases, male or fe-"

"That's not what I'm talking about!"

Another silent minute passed.

"Mike. What are ya talkin' about?" Applejack asked.

I didn't have time to talk as a quiet voice interrupted me.

"Excuse me?"

I looked over to Fluttershy.

"Sorry for interrupting but, you said the word like it was a verb. But it's a noun... right?"

I was getting confused once again, so I started to think.

Maybe ponies used a different word for sex... But that wouldn't make any sense! All the stuff so far has been the same except for names.

Houses were houses, food was food, water was water, and more so.

So why would another word for sex be present? I really didn't know what was happening... except for one odd conclusion.

"Twilight?"

She looked up at me. "Yes."

I sighed. "How do... ponies breed?"

"Oh, that's easy. Through the magic of love Cadence spreads throughout Equestria. It magically makes a foal in a mare's womb. I think you know the rest from what you described before."

I couldn't believe it. The most wonderful, beautiful, exciting thing in the world didn't exsist in Equestria?!

I doubted my conclusion, so I asked to whisper to Twilight.

She complied, and I whispered these same words to her.

"Have you ever heard of... a stallion putting his penis in a mare's vagina?"

Twilight's eyes went wide. This could mean two things. Either she heard it before and it was forbidden to talk about, or...

"What? Why would any stallion do that to a mare?!"

Bingo.

I sighed again. "It was just a question Twi."

I was shocked. No... no, shocked couldn't even describe my emotions right now.

These ponies... didn't know about the pleasure of sex!

In the year I've stayed in Equestria I always had anxiety of somepony finding me out masturbating in a washroom or something. But now I see if I did get caught they wouldn't have known what I was doing.

They had to know this. It was something I couldn't hide from them. What kind of friend would do that?

I told the six to meet me in the living room of Twilight's castle. There, I would tell and explain what sex was. They would be shocked, yes, but the conclusion is what it's at.

I went home after our get up at Sugarcube Corner. I was neighbors with Derpy and Berry Punch. They were nice ponies.

I sat down at my work desk and began to plan. I had to make sure not to leave any details as this could change Equestria forever.

My name is Mike. Mike Paul. I'm nineteen years old with *sigh* no girlfriend. I'm pretty short for a human but tall for a pony, and that's only on the outside.

My rod is big, bigger than average for a human. I found this out when I lost my virginity and the fine woman praised me like a god.

But whatever, you don't care about me, you care about what's happening to me.

I've been in Equestria for a year now and I've adapted nicely to the ponies.

When I first arrived, it was weird having a conversation with colorful ponies.

'How I arrived' you ask? Well... that doesn't matter. I... can't really remember.

What does matter is what happened after I arrived.

I made friends with six mares. The six are my closest friends and we trust each other greatly.

I also hang out with this guy named Spike. He's a dragon and one of the only guys in the town I live in called Ponyville. Odd.

We're pretty close friends, talk about guy stuff except the explicit stuff if ya catch my drift. We're actually partners as assistants to Princess Twilight Sparkle. Do keep in mind that Spike always brings up that he's the 'Number One Assistant', and not me. Not that I mind. I'm actually lucky to have the job anyways.

There's really nothing special about me except that I now know that I'm the only one in Equestria that knows about the best thing in life. Sex.

The Ponies won't know what's coming.

My planning was done. I would compare it to a lesson in school if I didn't know any better.

But this was for no school. This was for life, real life.

I knew ponies could have sex. I would always pop a boner when Fluttershy would accidently raise her tail, showing her prized possession. It's always cute.

But do they get the sensual feels as humans do? Do stallions even get hard? Can they even orgasm?!

I would soon find out, as my plans states I would have to seduce each of the element bearers and see their opinions anyways.

I arrived at Twilight's Friendship castle. Ironic, since we're going to do something beings that are 'more than friends' do.

I opened the door, already hearing the chatter down the hall.

I made my way towards the noise and when I entered the room to see the six they stopped talking and looked at me.

"Hey, Mike! What's happening here?" Rainbow asked.

"I want to do... an experiment on each one of you individually." I got out.

"Ohh, an experiment? What's it about?"

"When it's your turn you'll find out." I would've said that with a smirk if my heart wasn't beating so fricken fast.

"So how are we doin' this?" Applejack asked.

This was it, it happens here and now.

"I'm going to take each of you to your homes and do something with you. Rainbow Dash can come to my house since she lives in a cloud and I can't get to it."

Rainbow nodded.

"Now, I need to tell something to all of you."

They all leaned in towards me.

"I need to your trust. So can you all trust me when I'm doing the experiment on you?"

It was quiet until Twilight spoke up, "Mike, we've been friends for almost, if not, a year. Of course, we trust you!" She said that with a smile.

"As long as you don't overdo it like Twilight, I'm in," Rainbow said while flying up to me and wrapping one of her hooves around my neck.

"Alright, thanks." I looked at each of them with smiles looking up at me. "Now..."

I just needed one more thing to find out before I started to 'experiment'.

Which mare do I take and seduce first?