"You're dead Shimmer! Ya hear me!"
"We're gonna have some fun with you tonight!"
"Ya parents ain't gonna recognize ya!"

Prison hall scare tactics. The scared straight of the adult variety, hauling a heavily shackled stallion through the cell blocks, letting the boys inside take a gander at the new meat. A sound strategy to be sure; heck, if you minus the ensuing assaults and violent sodomy, it was practically a flawless system.
Drag this reprobate far from the public eye and cast him down with the cut-throats, villains, maimers and murderers; My kinda people.
Really though, the idea that these milk drinkers thought they could scare me was ludicrous. This wasn't my first stop-off in a county dungeon, and I guarantee it won't be the last.
Well okay, if I had it my way it would be, but you know what they say about best laid plans. I mean I assume you do; never liked school me, just going off what I read in stolen library books and on bar napkins. A wealth of information at my hooves. Wouldn't mommy and daddy be proud.

"SHIMMER! You screwed us over, now we're gonna do the same to you!" Ahhh, how nice. Old friends and new, all in one place. This will be a sleepover to remember. And me without a camera. Funny really, I hadn't seen that Minotaur in years.

"Actually your sister was the one doing the screwing; I was too drunk to bring my A-game." What was his sisters name again? Bloody cider haze, a Minotaur? What was I thinking!

" You Son Of A..."

"Couldn't stay for breakfast, you know how it is, once you vomit in bed it kind of sours the romantic ambiance. But hey I wrote her an apology." Or at least I'd thought about doing that, probably... maybe.

The wall of muscle and stallionhood overcompensation rammed his head into the bars of his crammed cell. More power to him, if he could break through these crystal walls, underground no less, then he deserved to be free. Still the guards apparently didn't share my sentiment as they discharged their crystal horns into the cell. Funny, it wasn't often the crystal unicorns made their presence known. I feel so special.
You could smell the charred Minotaur hair from the far end of the hall. Well at least it made the Diamond Dogs in the neighboring cell happy, speaking of which...

"No-Bite remember you. Yellow Earth-Pony steal hoard!"
"... And leave rest of Rover-pack with Dragon!"
That one takes me back. A giant green lizard with a serious thorn up its ass, half a dozen scared shitless dogs and one devilishly handsome earth pony with a kings ransom in stolen jewels and plundered gold. All buried in a deep hole in what I refer to as, my retirement plan. You know, when the lifestyle of stealing from the rich and giving to me loses its appeal.
I'm thinking sandy beaches, pineapple drinks, a earth pony on my left and a zebra on my right. Don't knock it till you try it. I'm a survivor of that 'Out of Zebrica' fever, if you know what I mean. What can I say, I got a type.

A pity I had to leave those Dogs with the scaly saver of shiny things, they made for a nice distraction. But hey, you drag your feet, you get left in my dust.

The guards drag me through another gateway and pat down point. You gotta wonder if this is how the lonely guards get their rocks off. Then I'm rewarded with another crystal tunnel full of cells containing, you guessed it, folks that wanna kill me. Well okay not all of them. A few made promises of a painful night and one stallion was planning a nice game of touch hoofball in the showers later, so that should be fun.
Lets see, what else? Ah yes, more screaming. A few jeers about mommy dearest, Celestia rest her soul. More screams and a joke about a crushed pelvis, lovely.

Eventually I found myself chained to a chair in an interrogation room. Nice and spacious really, so much polished crystal everywhere. Its a wonder the Dragon migration doesn't roll through here and strip the city bare.

"Has the prisoner been restrained?" Why I'd recognize that dumb hoofball jock sounding voice anywhere. Be still my beating heart, the 'Bro Prince' of the Crystal Empire has deemed to grace me with his most excellent and bodacious presence.
The crown Prince himself excused his guards out the door behind him and took a seat opposite me. At a cold metal table no less. How out of place.

"Daylight Shimmer; Or as your known around the 'Canterlot Special Crimes Division', Enemy of the State number twenty-three. Your reputation proceeds you, yet seeing you here, in chains, with no place to go except in a cell... I have to say, I'm disappointed. Still, I hope the guards were respectful when bringing you in. I've already had a group ask me for a few minutes of one on one time with you."

"Mares I hope."

"Well then your in for a disappointment." Always start off with a joke. Always have and its served me well this far. Then again 'this far' is a dungeon. But hey, at least it looks pretty.

"You know what I like most about your dungeon, Princey? The decor. Everything's so shiny and hard, like Sapphire Shores after a Grammy award speech. And yet you managed to find the single ugliest table an Equestrian flea market has to offer, and stuck it smack dab in the middle of the room. You gotta admit, it does mar the otherwise oppressive prison feel just a smidge."

"I never took you for an expert in interior design, Shimmer."

Shining Armor, Celestia's gift to hormonal teenage mares across the land. Took the earth itself and molded it into his image, and then slapped a giant sausage underneath for good measure. Or so the mares-only locker room legend goes.

"You don't spend half your life bending lonely mares over without learning a thing or two about furniture. Fun fact; pinewood, not exactly the sturdiest wood. I mean there I am, hunched over this pegasus when suddenly, 'Crack!' Down we go. Splinters everywhere. And I do mean everywhere."

"Did you rob her afterwards? That's what you do isn't it? Use ponies then rob them blind," Leaning over the table for drama. Awkward pause, ending in three, two, one. "I should know, this prison alone is full of them. Ponies, Minotaurs, Griffons, Zebra's, creatures of many races... all out for your head on a pike."

"Even you?" His eyes betray his outwardly mask of calm indifference. He wanted a piece of me; if he was locked up in here, he'd come at me with a soap bar full of razer blades and not think twice.

"I don't hold a grudge Shimmer! I'm better than that. That's why I live out there and your stuck in here." He kicks back in his chair with a look of smug self satisfaction. I hope he enjoys it. I was being nice before, now though, the metaphorical gloves are off.

"You know... now I think about it, I did rob that mare. She wasn't blind per say, but she did have the most bucked-up eyes I've ever seen."
A damn good lay though. I wonder if she's still single, might take a few days, maybe a nice muffin basket but I could bring her around. After all, how long could one mare hold a grudge?

"I know the mare you're talking about; I checked up on her a few times when I served in the Canterlot guard." Ohhh, goody. His face is turning red.

"And? Don't keep me in suspense, Princey. How's her filly doing? She ever get over that bed wetting phase?"

"Phase?! She was only one year old! And her mom... you destroyed her faith in other ponies!"

"And here I thought we parted on such good terms." My turn to kick back and grin. Let's see how far I can push this guy.

"You drained her life savings and left her with nothing! The poor mare & her foal had to move in with friends, and pick up a second job."
I shrug at him; you feel that shining, that's me getting under your skin.

"Meh, take it from a guy who spent three years as a racketeer for fat and slimy stiffs in suits. A little poverty never hurt anypony. Heck, it'll be good for the kid. Teach her just how nasty the world can be. Can't just point a happy-rainbow-laser at your problems and expect them to go away. But you'd know all about that wouldn't you. Pardon my Prench, but... is it true you fucked a Changeling queen?" Seems I've struck a nerve. Ol' Princey looks like he could fly over this table and tear me apart; but he won't, not with his people watching behind the two-way mirror. Oh how powerless he must feel.

A full minute of silent stares and Armor finally has something to say.

"Why? Why do you act like this? Putting ponies down. Turning on those who called you friend. Your partners in crime aren't worth a damn, but what about all the other innocent people? The victims you've robbed, used, betrayed and for what? Another hidden stash of stolen property and another mark on your already bright red file," My favorite color, FYI. "With your intelligence, you could make a real difference in the lives of others..."

"Intelligence? Okay let me stop you right there Princey. What you call intelligence, I call skill. I picked up everything I know from real world experience. Most I got from high school was a migraine!"

Princey smirked and tossed down a few files from inside his dress shirt. Was he carrying those around the whole time we've been here?

"Oh we've seen your report cards too; dropped out of Canterlot Academy one autumn morning with a 'C' average across all subjects. Add to that a brand new faculty type writer, seventeen boxes of pens, the entire contents of the school trophy case and 'our' headmistress's wig."
And there it is, no more beating around the bush. He finally acknowledged the elephant in the room. Shiny's gone wide eyed, like dinner plates. Poor guy wants to take back that last part so bad. Sorry Princey, my turn now.

"AH-HA! I knew it! You remember me don't you. After all these years, we finally talk face to face and you act like we've never met. Mr Goody forehooves Shining Armor. It's been a while. Hey, you still hang out with those Fantasy/RPG nerds?"

"Frequently... That means allot, Mr Dropout."

"I'll have to take your word for that."

"..."

Half a second later we're laughing like fillies at a carnival. I'll admit it felt nice. Its not often I laugh without somepony in tears or bleeding.
A sobering thought to be sure. Princey wiped a tear from his eye and straightened his face, good thing too, I almost didn't recognize the trussed up modern major general for a second.

"Getting back to the subject at hoof. That little stunt you pulled at Canterlot Academy was the first in a lifetime of penalties ranging from casual misdemeanors to today's tour-de-force, which may very well gain you an audience with Princess Celestia herself. Attempted theft of an ancient relic is not something the rulers of Equestria look kindly upon. I mean really? The crystal heart? In the middle of the day, in a crowded courtyard filled with pedestrians, all of whom would lay down their lives to protect the object that keeps their city and by extension their families safe. You must have known you'd get caught!"

Armor looks to me expectantly. I don't actually know how to respond. Why did I do it in the first place? I wasn't even half way down the street from where I'd nabbed the heart before a mob of crystal ponies used me as a makeshift trampoline. It was right there though! Floating completely unguarded, like a hearths warming present in an unlocked house. How could I resist?!

"Well it sounds pretty stupid when you just spell it out like that." Armour doesn't say anything, he merely stares at me, like I'm a jigsaw with a half a dozen missing pieces.

"I'm bored Princey..." The words came out before I could register exactly what it was I was saying. Guess its my turn to look stupid... er, stupider. Armor actually looked surprised for a moment. Guess he found a piece he didn't know was missing.

"Oh really... is that a fact. Is that why you did this? Everything you've done, you justify with... 'Because your bored?' Seems like a pretty flimsy excuse, all things considered. What, you needed a challenge or something? Has the notion of robbing banks and knocking over small businesses lost its zeal? Or is this another plea for attention from the Princesses? If that's the case, you might just get your wish."

Right, right and right again. All of the above. Full marks; show the stallion what he's won.

"I stopped being the one who takes orders years ago, Princey. I was just a newb back then, now ten years later and I've scammed and conned with the best of em'. And I don't have to justify anything, because it is what it is. I lie, cheat and steal because I can, its what I'm good at. I don't know why, I just do what I do. As the scorpion once said to the drowning frog... 'Its just my nature!'"

Speechless, Princey is speechless. I think that's worthy of an imaginary applause. In all seriousness though, if this was Armor's way of breaking through to me, it was failing spectacularly.

"Twenty-Eight years old and already wanted in numerous realms across the 'Planet', for a list of crimes that'd put 'Rampart the Soul Eater' to shame! What would your parents say if they could see you now?" Dick move, bringing the family into this Princey. Couldn't come up with a retort? Nope just change the subject.

"They'd probably be proud of me. Dear old dad would say something along the lines of... 'Smekkle, razzergar, flegle, shloke' then burp and pass out in a puddle of his own bodily fluids. And Mom? Well she wouldn't say anything, and if she did I'd run for the hills; you know what they say about when the dead speak."

If it wasn't obvious by now, I don't like my parents. What did they ever do for me? Their practice child. They drank while I was still growing in mom's baby cannon. I asked for something to bring for show and tell... they gave me a black eye. Mom tried to leave me in Princess Celestia's castle but kept getting lost and finding me again. And dad's birthday present to me was a fixed deck of cards, which he used to con me out of my last five bits. But now their either dead or about to be, and the only thing keeping me from a stolen fortune and greener pastures is a prince with a face as punchable as his suit is frumpy. What a tool.

"Oh we're well aware of your families past discrepancies, seems criminal behavior runs in the family. Parents married early, eloped to Las Pegasus and hitchhiked back to Canterlot with what's left of their bits only a few weeks later. Had you and screwed you up in ten years, then eight years after that, they lost you and tried to claim life insurance which they didn't have. And then there's your sister; I can only imagine how much your influence messed with her head..."

There comes a time in everyponies life, when all the day to day problems just seem to build and build until they reach a boiling point where even the slightest provocation could set you off. For me, right here and now, it was less of an annoying, 'ohhh I'm angry' custard pie to the face and more like a 'You're Fucking Dead' sledgehammer to the bollocks.
He busted my balls, you might say.

"You Do Not Say Anything About My Baby Sister! You got that, you piss poor mishmash of a high school jock and prince charming, stereotype!" Wow, he nearly fell out of his chair. If I wasn't seeing red right now, I'd maybe enjoy this.

Behind me I heard the doors burst open and felt the familiar tingle of magically charged horns inches from the back of my head.
Now my usual tactic in this situation would be to run in a serpentine and hope the enraged mare or her husband can't aim. But seeing as I was chained to a chair which in turn was bolted to the floor made this a moot point.
Unless they're really that bad a shot, though at this point that seems unlikely.

"Wait, wait don't fire!" And here comes my knight in Shining Armor to save my backside; I wonder if his parents were psychic or something, how else do you explain a name that oddly specific. "It's alright, head back to your post... I can handle this one, he's giving me everything I need." I was? Huh, I wonder if this is how all those loose lip mares felt when they gave me their bank details over a bottle of sangria.
The tingle of magic faded, followed by the sound of hooves moving away and the closing of a heavy door.

"Age eighteen, you up and vanish from Canterlot and commit a slew of crimes across Equestria and beyond; Five years later Sunset Shimmer, 'Your Sister', betrays her teacher, 'Our Princess' by the way, and flees Canterlot Castle never to be seen again; Then a few months ago, she springs up out of nowhere and escapes to another world with 'My Sister's' crown in her hooves. Now with all that in mind, can you honestly tell me that you had no impact on your sister's life what so ever?!"

I still remember the day I read about my sister swiping that sappy purple princess's crown; I hadn't laughed so hard in my life, I think it actually made the bar owners nervous, which in terms of Griffons, is a huge accomplishment. I'd never felt so proud of her in all my life. I was ten when my sister was born and she'd stuck to me like glue ever since. I took care of her, protected her from bullies, mom and dad included. And in return, she made me laugh. The best friend a pony could ask for. Finding out she'd robbed Princey's sister was icing on an already delicious cake.

"I took care of her for eight years Princey! Even when she got her scholarship and moved into Sun-butt's castle, I still saw her once a week, on the dot. While mom and dad played toss the bottle in between punch-ups; I was reading her bedtime stories and cracking dad across the face when he got too close. I was there for her, buddy! Always! Do you know she once stuck a long range teleport spell on me, anywhere I was she'd pop-up right there next to me, almost got me in trouble a few times. But regardless, I was always there."

"Oh really, you mean like just after her eighth birthday when you up and disappeared from her life, without a single 'Goodbye' or 'Take Care'? Princess Celestia couldn't bare to see her upset, in the end she told her you were doing missionary work in the south-seas, and blocked her teleport spell when she tried to run away, just to find your sorry hide. Though in retrospect we probably could've used that spell in your coming years! I guess that's hindsight for ya."

"What did she tell her I was doing down south exactly?

"Something about building homes in Zebrica, I believe."

So Sunny doesn't know about my record? This is a surprise. A pleasant surprise. I have to fight to keep the grin from my face, this is too good to be true. My sister, my wide-eyed baby sister still thinks I'm a 'Good Guy', if you will. Maybe before I plan by beach side retirement, I'll track down that multiversal-mirror and pick the girl up. Her and me against the world, just like it used to be. I'll save her from that otherworldly prison and together we'll buy a lodge by the sea. Parties every night and lounging every day, just like we always dreamed.
I guess good things do come to those who wait.

"Building homes in Zebrica... nah, I was the one burning em' down. Zebrican warlords pay good money for those services. That's where Celestia's foreign aid budget is going by the by. Funny story Princey; this one Warthog I met, lived in a luxury mansion surrounded by servants and fine food, while he paid guys like me riches to burn down the homes of his citizens. They were mud huts and scrap metal shacks mind you, but they went up good."

"You're just adding to your file at this point Shimmer, so please, do go on..." Oh smug Shiny; after this day, you'll never see me again. But lets not get ahead of ourselves.

"So one day I'm invited to drinks with the guy, and he arrives carried by six zebras on this weird green couch with poles. Anywho, we're sitting there, sipping our wine and he says to me... 'Do you know why those savages toil in their own filth, while we dine like kings?', I say to him, 'Simple, because we're strong and they're weak.' But then he turns to me and he's says, 'Oh no, the savages have strength in abundance.' So I'm left wondering, well what could it be, and what he said really put things into perspective, he says... 'It is because they are weak willed. They pray to a god who will never answer and wait for a miracle that may never come. But you and I? We refuse to wait, we take that which we know we deserve. We make our own miracles, and if the game we play turns against our favor, well we either change the rules and keep playing. Or throttle the other players until we win.'"

It was a good memory. Because he was right, I shouldn't wait and hope for the best. I had to make things happen. I shouldn't follow the rules, I should've been the one making them! And that in turn opened my eyes to a new way of thinking entirely.
Princey looks like he just got told his foalhood pet died. Sometimes I envy the normies and their narrow minded way of thinking. Doomed to a life of drudgery and following orders whilst I'm sitting pretty on a nest egg that'd give the Dragon emperor himself the shakes.

"Ten years since I last saw you Daylight; Ever the sociopath even to this day. Don't get me wrong, you were a thug back in school but now? Now your something else entirely. A criminal, a thief, a liar..."

"Have I ever once cited myself as anything else? I know what I am, I'm a dirt-bag plain and simple. Only difference between me and a few notable others of my ilk is that I admit it. Though I must say I prefer the term 'realist' if you don't mind. Sounds a little more sophisticated."

"Daylight, I'm gonna be frank... We've been filling out your psych profile this entire time. The Equestrian government believes wholeheartedly in the notions of 'Reforming over Imprisonment', but with a record as blood red as yours, its becoming less and less likely that you will ever see the outside world again. And from what your telling me, the things you have to say... if your not at least in a cell by the end of the day, then chances are you'll be spending the rest of your natural life in a padded room."

"Maybe we could share one. You look about ready yank your mane out, my friend." Boy did he ever. I couldn't tell if he was frustrated or confused or both. With a wife as fine as his, you'd think he'd be doing his job every day with a giant grin plastered across his face.

"Let's wrap this up Shimmer, we both know how this is going to end. Tell me how you could possibly see yourself as a realist..."

How much time had passed since I'd been brought in here, at this rate I'm gonna miss playtime with all my old friends.
Suppose they'll have to wait... 'C'est la vie' as they say in Prance.

"Can't you see the irony that's draped over this realm like that ugly blue coat your wearing?! You guards-ponies, the princesses, your precious sister; Your lives revolve around the spread and worship of 'harmony', yuck, makes me sick just saying it. And all those out there who don't follow this misguided belief like me or who don't fit your traditional mold of the 'Good Guy' are branded as villains! Punished because we don't meet your standards. And if your solution was to lock us up, fine! We didn't follow your precious laws, its only fair we pay for it. But no, if we break the rules, your solution is to quote/unquote 'reform us' as if their something fundamentally wrong with who we are that needs to be destroyed."

"What the buck are you talking about? What standards? What's wrong with reforming criminals like you?" Armor was leaning close, good to know I have his full attention.

"Think about it Armor! The high and mighty Alicorns think they can simply shoot feel-good magic at their alleged enemies and magically make them good! And if the magic of harmony isn't available, you normies threaten and break us down piece by piece, until conforming to your ways is all we have left! Take Discord for instance, born into a world that did not understand him. But would you ponies accept him for who he is? Did you think he might have been happier being his natural born self? No, you imprisoned him in stone and leave the poor bastard essentially buried alive for over a thousand years. Maybe longer if he hadn't broken free."

"You're defending Discord? He was literally turning the world upside down. Putting thousands, if not millions of lives in danger."

"The strong rule while the weak follow, Princey. But I see your point, need another example? A bit more on your level? Alright, I got a good one; See I hooked up with a hot piece-of-tail last year in Baltimare. A Pegasus call-girl by the name of 'Lightning Dust'. After we'd done the deed, several hours later ah-he-he; she told me all about how she'd been kicked out of the Wonderbolt Academy, thanks in no small part to your sister and her friends. Not only that, but after word got out about her 'Endangering the Princess's Student' or something, she was blacklisted from not just the Academy but any job affiliated with the Cloudsdale elite, which if you don't know rules out most of Cloudsdale and beyond. Apparently the opinion of a Princess was worth more than that of a lowly mare who only wanted to prove herself. I don't know if you've ever tried to get a job after years of training to do one job that you then can't do. According to Lightning Dust, its impossible!"

The mention of his sister got Princey's frown back in position. One thing the two of us share, nopony talks bad about our sisters.

"I read about that in the paper; that mare created a tornado that endangered not only the other cadets, but also my sister and her friends. If Rainbow Dash hadn't been there, they would've fallen to their deaths!"

"Oh yes, all those non-flying ponies in that tiny balloon. On an active military base! Without permission! During exercises literally called 'Cloud-Busting'! Your sister and her buddies illegally enter military airspace, and get into an accident because of it... and your telling me its the cadet's fault?! The one who's assignment was to 'clear the skies'. Because of your holier than thou sister and pals, Lightning lost her home, all her possessions and was forced to service dirt-bags like me to eat another day."

"Well, I guess you have a heart after all." There he goes again, avoiding the issue!

"That's all you've got to say? No gasp? No cries of 'Oh why sister? Why?'" Wow, and I though I was cold.

"I'll admit it sounds like this mares had a bad way of things. But as you'll soon find, actions have consequences. Lightning Dust was reckless and she paid for it with her career; I'm sure if she apologized to Twilight and the others she could get her second chance, like all... offenders."
Villain! I can see it in his eyes, he was going to say villain. Did my jaw hit the floor? No, it passed the floor a while ago, I'm pretty sure its hit bedrock by now.

"Apologize?! After your sister screwed up, you want the real victim to smash her last bit of pride, walk up to the ones who ruined her, hat in hoof and beg for forgiveness!"

"Most ponies who truly have no other options would do that in a heartbeat!"

"As a pony who's been in that position, We'd Rather Die!"

And back to the silence. Look at me becoming all sentimental, I'm actually starting to miss ol'Dusty. I wonder how she's doing.
After a brief pause where he shuffled the papers into a manila folder, Princey spoke up.

"How long were you a call-girl?" I wanted to keep a stern face so bad, but I couldn't help it. I laughed, and hoped beyond hope that it wouldn't debase the point I was trying to make. Its sad really, after I've retired I might actually miss this clown. "For the record, I'm sorry your friend's life has gone the way it has."

"Well I wouldn't really call her a friend per-say; I kinda dined and dashed while she was asleep if you know what I mean." This guys expression yo-yo'd back and forth so much today, he'll definitely need an aspirin later.

"Well then what was the point of that story in the first place!"

"Because Princey; I could list of the many failings of your preconceived notions of black and white, good and evil, heroes and villains till the sun goes down. You wanna hear about your sisters biggest fuck-up? Track down 'The Great and Powerful Trixie', boy does she have some stories to tell. But my point is this, your kind brainwashes my kind with empty promises of a better life or in some cases with magic rainbow beams; You claim to represent friendship, you hold yourselves up on a pedestal, so high you can no longer see the droves of people you claim to represent."

"Enough about Princess Twilight, Shimmer! Now let's wrap this up, we've got papers to process and you've got a cell-block full of friends waiting on you. Why do you care so much about ponies being reformed? This world would be a much better place if we all stood for friendship and unity instead of living for the self." I can agree with that, this inane jibber-jabber has gone on long enough.

"Oh would you open your eyes Princey! Your kind deems yourselves as the way 'things are supposed to be' and anypony who doesn't embrace friendship or meet your worth, must be evil and there for persecuted until they change. Without ever considering that we like who we are. No, if your kind says we're evil for being ourselves then we must change! And what you fail to realize is that your kind needs my kind as much as we need yours!" Shiny waved a hoof at the window, probably signalling somepony on the other side and turn to face me.

"You've got a minute... Why do ponies who follow Princess Celestia's rules need ponies who break them?"

And here we are; the million bit question at last. I'll admit I was hoping to drag this out a tad longer, but he found the right question faster than I had expected.

"..."

I pity he'll never find out the answer.
Inside my skull I can feel the all too familiar sensation of a teleportation spell leeching out and washing over me; Odd, the unicorn I hired in case the plan went belly-side wasn't supposed to do this for a few more hours but if this made for a good exit, who was I to complain.
And yet, something feels wrong. The magic is almost familiar yet different. Like a sensation I'd long since forgotten and am experiencing again after so long a time.
I hadn't felt something like this since the first time Sunset... Oh my Celestia!

My laughter was instantaneous, loud to where I wouldn't be surprised if the other inmates heard me. A black aura surrounded my person. Vaguely I could see Princey leap back in surprise as the door behind me swings open, revealing several heavily armed ponies no doubt. But I didn't care. I was getting out of jail early, just not the way I had originally planned.

"Sorry Armor, but my rides here! A different driver maybe, but if it means I don't have to look at that corn kernel stuck in your teeth, its still worth it. See you in the funny pages..."

Sunset, my dear sister.

"I'm coming home..."

And on that note, I was away. No more Princey, no more chains and no reforming spells. My world became a pageant of bright lights and colors; and I face it all with a grin that would not fade. I could feel my sisters pull much clearer, the closer I drew to her.
Can you say 'deus ex machina'? My favorite term in the Equish language.

If this doesn't put me in the history books, nothing will.

Author's Notes:

Read and Review. Well clearly you've already read it or else why are you down here? Hell, there's a point. Why do folks write read and review at the bottom when they have to read to get to this part in the first place? I've never stopped and thought about that till now. Oh well, derp de do.