Sitting in a wooden chair, I occasionally peeking up the stairs to see if Emeris is finally ready or not. I turn my head as Cy comes around the corner. It was odd not seeing him in armor. His clothing is a mix of black, grey and white. He’s wearing a typical black button-up shirt, with a grey waistcoat over it. His kilt is a mix of black stripes, with a secondary stripe made of grey and white squares. It made my head hurt just looking at the awful thing. Around his waist, is a rope that had numerous circular emblems hanging from it. The emblems had various patterns that connected back into themselves, forming endless cycles. They were insanely intricate and distinct. His outfit was finished with black boots, but they looked considerably beaten up.

Cy had long, black hair and while his skin was white, it always seemed to have this slight gray tint to it. The right side of his face, is covered with an intense tribal tattoo that curled around his ear and eye. He also had a piercing in each eyebrow, as well as two small rings on each side of his lower lip, a centimeter from the edges. Dracur customs had always confused me. Wouldn’t piercings be risky in combat?

He gives me a small nod and hand wave when he approaches. I eye him up and down.

“The hell are you wearing?!” I exclaim. He scrunches his lips to the side momentarily.

“It’s all that remained of my...formal, yet somewhat comfortable attire. It’s something you wear when it’s important, but also fun. You know, for those of us that don't literally walk around in full Taraskan battle armor all day and night.” My helmet clanks quietly as I slowly nod a few times, then check up the stairs again for Emeris.

I shake my head in annoyance.

“That man seriously takes forever to get ready.” I see Cy rub his arm from the corner of my eye.

“Yeah so...Emeris is definitely a man then?” He asks nervously. I blink at him a few times.

“Um...yes, why?” Cy looks around embarrassed and gives a small shrug.

“I don’t know, he just...always looked like...I could never really tell from his face. He always looked a bit like a girl, but kind of had this vague...masculine build as well. That and he’s...what’s the word...very touchy-feely for a guy.”

I had never really thought of it. Emeris and I practically grew up together. It was true that Emeris never really looked like your average male or female, but he had never corrected us when we said “He”. His voice was also gentle and right in the middle as well. He could give a seductive smile better than any woman I knew, but also rough housed with the rest of us.

Cy watches me think, then asks another question.

“Have...you ever seen him with anyone?” All I can do is raise an eyebrow and narrow my eyes in response. While it was true that Emeris had never mentioned some kind of sweetheart, dating was difficult and often fatal while you were enlisted. You might take a dumb risk trying to save the one you cared for. You might be desperate, maybe even stupid to hold onto the one thing that keeps you going, just to have them die later. Even then, everyone had a crush, but I couldn’t recall Emeris ever having one.

With miraculous timing, Emeris finally comes down the stairs, sporting his vibrant trench coat. It was forest green as a base, but had glittery golden trim outlining its edges, that also spiraled inwards into intricate patterns that resembled snowflakes or flowers. His buttons are a dark teal, the same color as his slacks. It was way too much color for my taste, but Emeris was always the sunnier character of us all.

He has his hands folded behind his back with a large smile on his face. He had on two earrings that were gold but had small teal marbles dangling from them. He had liberated a small village by getting the two bandit factions that tormented them, to fight each other. As a thank you, they presented him with those earrings that were worn by their previous ruler that I never caught the name of.

“We ready to go?” He calls out. I turn to Cy, who gives us a cheerful nod.

“I don’t know about you two, but I need a damn drink. Baking muffins all day makes me insanely tired.” I can’t help but chuckle at the thought of Cy in all his dark clothing, doing something like baking. It was difficult keeping up with both of them while in my full armor, minus my helmet. Any minute now Stormchaser could come flying in with news of some new, horrific war machine, courtesy of Zaran. We start walking down the steps of the palace when Emeris stops us.

“Wait wait wait...this is Equestria...where the hell do we get ale?” We look at each other quietly.

“Let’s ask at a tavern. I heard they rebuilt one in Canterlot. I mean if it’s a tavern that serves food, they gotta have drinks, right?” No one disagrees, so we start following Cy to the tavern. Cy glances at Emeris.

“So Emeris...I’ve always wondered...how come you’ve never had a special...someone?” Emeris looks at him and narrows his eyes, picking up on the fact that Cy was intentionally being gender-neutral with his words. Emeris had said a few times about how he was tired of the underhanded ways people would try to figure out of Emeris was male or female. Of course, Emeris would be as intentionally broad as possible, just to irritate them. He shrugs casually. “Eh, it’s never really happened for me.”
Cy nods and thinks quietly for a moment. “Yeah I mean...having a girlfriend is great. You should try it.”
Cy doesn’t look behind him to see the mischievous grin on Emeris’ face as Cy grows more impatient. “Maybe one day…” Emeris says.
Cy’s hands clench and I hear him sigh. “Um...to which one? A girlfriend or dating in general?”
Emeris muffles his snickering with his fist for a moment. “Honestly, I’ve just...never felt like that.”
I turn to Emeris with a cocked eyebrow. “Shame, you’re kinda missing out.”
Emeris lets out a loud snort. “From the way you two complain, I’m not missing much. Maybe that’s why both of you switched to ponies.”
Cy almost collapses with a roaring laugh. I turn to Emeris and try to punch him half-jokingly in the arm. He stops walking just long enough for my fist to miss him. Before I’m even fully extended, he grabs my wrist and yanks me forward, sending me flailing helplessly. Carried by my own inertia and carelessness, I crash into a cart. Cy hunches over in hysterics, as I get up to my feet.

We continue along the small, winding path until a large wooden tavern looms overhead. Several ponies outside, sit at various tables and wave to us as we approach. One purple mare with a white mane even offers us her table. We give her a courteous wave, but decline. The building was yellow, with a ton of wooden accent and at least three stories tall. It must feel like a mansion to the smaller Equestrians.

Inside, business seems to be slow. I found it odd that no other humans were here. We had given permission for our people to take some time off, as long as they stayed in Battle Ready condition. Partying in armor had almost become a cultural norm for us as well as a requirement. A colt behind the bar looks up at us and stops wiping down the counter. He doesn’t say anything but gives us a polite nod and smile.

Cy takes a seat in front of him and pulls a menu over. Emeris leans against the bar.

“Don’t suppose you got any hard cider, do you?” The colt nods and fills up a mug with a thick, yellow liquid and sets it on the bar. Emeris slides it over to Cy, who drops the menu and takes a big swig of the drink. His face suddenly becomes full of scorn before setting it back down and staring at it confused.

“Um...there’s uh...something missing.” Emeris eyes it curiously, then reaches over and takes a drink from it as well. He looks up at the barkeep and lets out a small laugh. “I apologize buddy, we wanted something with alcohol in it.”
The barkeeper looks at Emeris confused. “Oh alcohol? Well...why would you wanna drink that? It’s just for cuts and stuff.”
Emeris glances over at me then back to the colt. “I...you...you have beer right?”
The bartender narrows his eyes and cocks his head. “What’s beer?” Cy looks up with bulging eyes of fury. He shoots Emeris a quick glance. Emeris has to hold Cy back from climbing over towards the colt, who gasps and backs into the rack of drinks behind him. Cy thrashes about in a frenzy.

“Are you kidding me?! They don’t have beer here?! They don’t drink?!” Cy’s words become a high-pitched symphony of anger. I fold my hands on the bartop and give the colt a nod.

“Okay perhaps you have a different word for it here. It’s a type of drink that makes you relax and can feel like you’re...dizzy, but in a fun way. Have anything like that?” The colt cocks his head and narrows his eyes in confusion.

“No...no we don’t have anything like that and I certainly haven’t heard of it if there is. All we got is milk, water, soda and apple cider.” That was that; Equestrians had no concept of intoxication. Emeris grunts as he struggles to restrain Cy.

“Well I was kinda wondering if a place so peaceful would have alcohol. I mean there’s a small chance it might go by a different name, but I honestly think we’re out of luck. Any of you two know how to distil it yourselves?” Cy stops thrashing and Emeris lets him go. I shake my head as Cy punches the bar before storming out. Cy shoves a table over as he stomps out to the road and mindlessly follows it down.

Emeris leans over to me. “I’m glad they don’t have it honestly. Cy has always had issues with drinking. He’s stopped for two months now and while I’m grateful, I’ve had some pony patrols keep an eye on the small cottage they’re staying in. Last thing we need is a domestic violence dispute.” He whispers. I bite my bottom lip so hard, it aches. The idea of furthering the stereotype that humans are just naturally violent by having Equestria’s first instance of spousal abuse, turned my stomach to rot.

Several breathes later, and Cy is his old self again. We follow him down the road as he grumbles to himself while kicking the occasional rock. Emeris and I look at each other. The night was supposed to be a simple campfire, alcohol and stories. I stop as Cy suddenly turns around.

“You know what I’d like? Steak. I’m so tired of this vegetable and dried meat crap. I’d like a real steak. I’ll scream if I have to eat one more piece from our storage! Hell, we can eat it out in the forest, so the Equestrians don’t know!” He says the last sentence a bit more silently. Emeris and I glance off into the thick woods, knowing just beyond them is a small ranch. Could we steal a cow? Could we get away with it? Could we eat it without anyone knowing?
Emeris stares into my eyes. “Well...I mean I’ve gotten used to the vegetarian diet, but you two can have at it. Don’t forget though, we’ll have an entire cow to dispose of. Seems wasteful, but I guess we could have various soldiers come over and eat some meat, then hopefully we’ll only have the bones to hide.”

I rub the back of my neck. “Um...and what happens if we get caught? The Equestrians are vegetarians, so we’re not gonna talk our way out of killing a cow. You have no idea how bad this could get if-”
Cy rushes up to me with his fingers clasped and falls to his knees dramatically. “Please Raiden! Overlord of all creation! I just want this one thing! We’ll plan the whole thing out! No one will know! For the love of everything that is holy, I just want one thing to go right today!”
I try to casually look around to see if anyone else can hear us. “Just...find us a large herd, someone will distract the owner or whatever, then we’ll steal a cow. With any luck they’ll assume it was a few stray Og Nag or Timberwolves.” Cy wraps his arms around my midsection and whispers an eerier “Thank you!”.

We begin following a dirt path that leads off the main road, towards the last place we saw any sort of ranch. For safety reasons, farmers began doing their thing as close to the palace as possible. While crops and general farming would take a while, we had no idea how long we’d be held up here. Even if we defended against Zaran’s next attack, or defeated him outright, it would be awhile before things went back to some semblance of normal. Would we ever be safe and would Taraska just become another species in Equestria?

Cy slows his pace so he’s next to me. “As an ambassador to Dracur, I’ve always wanted to know about your...language. Like you have one, but you almost always speak common. What’s up with that?”
Emeris answers before I can. “Our language, like most of our culture, is based around war. Taraskan is a code language that was assembled around efficiency and relies on single words implying an entire phrase.”

Cy nods his head a few times while looking forward. “Like I know gai means retreat but like-”
Emeris cuts him off. “No no, it’s more complex than that. Gai is any form of falling back. It’s entirely based on context. In combat, gai might mean retreat. But if I use it while you talk to someone, that might imply that you should end the conversation politely, so we can leave. If someone is on your face and I said gai, it can also mean “back off”. Or if you overdo something in a conversation, like you’re embellishing a story too much, flirting with someone and you’re going overboard or something else, gai can simply mean to tone it down. It doesn’t always mean stop completely. Of course, it’s typical to slowly nod your head once when you mean to have them pull back on the reigns, but motion behind you with your head if they need to completely end what they’re doing and physically leave.”
Cy recoils a bit in shock.“Holy crap...you got any more...word-phrases like that?”

I let out a few hums as I think. “My favorite is Nanda. It means “Next obvious questions." I can’t tell you how many scouts would come and tell me there’s an attack coming, and I’d have to ask all these questions and it felt like a complete waste of time. So, I can say Nanda and they’d tell me the time, pace, distance and general makeup of the enemy as well as their estimated target. I mean eventually I changed it to common practice to just have that info ready to go or they’d get the cage. Of course, if you were to tell me there’s a party and you ask if I wanna go, I might say Nanda for you to tell me the time and place.”
Emeris leans forward so he can see Cy’s face. “Also, the Taraskan language tries to do with as few grammatical rules as possible. For instance, if I say Dez Hor, which Dez means charge and Hor which means right side, it doesn’t matter what order the words come in unless I’m giving multiple commands in one sentence.”

Cy shrugs with a contented smile. “Makes sense to me. That has got to be faster than issuing commands in common.”

I can’t help but smile to myself. “I think my favorite shortcut is Kattaka. Kattaka is...how do I explain this...imagine I can temporarily assign any commands to Kattaka. For instance, I can turn to Emeris and say Kattaka dez hor, which translates to When I say Kattaka, charge the right side. The best part? I can tell Emeris Kattaka dez hor then tell Lucretia Kattaka dez tok. Then when I say Kattaka, they both do their orders at the same time, enabling me to launch two quick attacks simultaneously, making it even faster. Although Kattaka is technically the term for any word that represents a temporarily assigned order. Because of our shortcuts, you can’t decipher our language. You have to be there to hear the phrase. We like to change up the order of commands to confuse spies. You even have words like Jaguo which means Ignore what I just said. Now that’s a total dick move.Plus, you can literally put it anywhere in the sentence.”

Emeris chuckles to himself. “I came up with that. On top of being the ambassador of Taraska, I’m also spymaster, so it’s my job to mess with spies. You can’t imagine the chaos when we locate a spy from each surrounding nation, put them into one battalion, then give them all loads of fake intel.” We have to stop as I catch my breath from laughing too hard. Emeris watches me with a massive smile.

“I think my favorite one, was we had Raiden run ahead with his squad, set down a bunch of barrels of gunpowder, then we order one of the spies to light the barrel. So, they’d run up with a torch, thinking it’s a slow-burn, colored powder for signals, just to get launched out of a single-story building when the damn things explode.” I fall to all fours in high-pitched hysterics. Emeris slaps my back a few times.

“So, we started doing this crap, where we’d tell the battalions that we knew the guy was a spy so that’s why we did it. After that, if we had suspicions of someone being a spy, we’d tell them to go light a barrel, and the more they’d shake, the more we’d know they were a spy cause they’d be so paranoid that they’d actually been found out. I mean yeah, the soldiers would be nervous that maybe they were being falsely accused, but more often than not, the spies would shake so damn hard, there was a clear difference. We even had one guy who was about to light a barrel, then just friggin’ bolts it across the field. Poor guy, he came down with arrow spinalitis shortly after.”

When Cy and myself regain our composure, Cy gently slaps my arm and points up the path to a wooden fence. We do our best to casually walk towards it, while not making a sound. Climbing a steep hill of dirt was one thing, but in my full battle armor, I was gasping at the top. I inhale as quickly as I can, while Emeris and Cy survey what’s ahead. Cy crouches down to my right and puts a gentle hand on my shoulder.

“Sir! There’s like...thirty cows in there!” One last time I go over it in my head. Yes, this was a special occasion, but what would Celestia do if I was caught killing a cow? Did they put the same value on more basic animals as their own, or would I simply get a lecture about private property? I look up at Emeris who cocks an eyebrow when he sees the turmoil on my face.

“You know...we don’t have to do this.” He says compassionately.
Cy’s eyes bulge and he shifts his gaze between the two of us. “Oh, come on! We’re already here! Yeah, it will be bad if we get caught, but we just have to make sure we don’t get caught! Stop thinking of the worst-case scenario! Besides they got like a billion cows! They probably won’t even notice one! Hell, we can leave the gate open! They might just think someone was being a jerk, then if they find the remains, we’ll make it look like a few stray Og Nag had at it!” I grumble internally. Yes, getting away with it wouldn’t be terribly hard, especially knowing that there was only one old mare inside the red barn and no one else was around. We had designated areas for civilians and I knew exactly where the rest of our military were. I let out an exhale of frustration.

“Okay so...one of us goes up and keeps the old mare talking. The other two leave the rear gate open and lead a cow far far far into the forest. Cy, why don’t you talk to the mare. Emeris and I will lead the cow, so you don’t get your clothes dirty before your wedding. Let’s wait a bit longer for the sun to go down. Not like completely black, but just enough to give us some cover if a stray pony sees us.”

We sit and wait until the sun begins to set. CY tells us suspicious Dracur folklore about heroes who would flash bright colors before going into full berserker mode to pass the time. When there's barely enough light to see, Cy gives me a nod before casually strolling along the fence towards the barn. We wait about ten seconds as soon as he enters, then stay low and make our way to the gate. I lift the part closest to the hinges to try and avoid any squeaking, while Emeris unlatches the gate and opens it gradually. The cows watch us with curiosity. Emeris stays low, but moves with as little effort as he can, trying to not to startle the creatures.

He coaxes one over with a smile and gentle hand motions. When they take a step forward, so does he, but only when they initiate. Eventually, Emeris and myself lead one out of the pen and along the fence, away from where we came. Rain had carved a steep embankment that must have went on for miles, winding through the trees. Climbing up it was a pain, but the real problem had just started. Emeris clears his throat and speaks as quietly as he can, but where I can still hear him.

“Just so you’re aware, the cow can’t go down the slope.”
I turn around angrily. “What do you mean it can’t?!” I hiss.
Emeris pats the cow’s front legs. “The way their joints work, they can’t go down steep hills. They have to make gradual zigzags. I mean they’d also topple over since they can’t easily shift their weight. If we want her to go down, we’ll need to go further or make something.” Emeris had the advantage of traveling to different nations and sitting in on their schools. Taraska had never been very big on education unless it came to strictly warfare related topics. As much as Emeris had tried to share his knowledge with our people, they gave him polite nods, but he mostly got ignored.

The path cut into the ground by regular rainfall, went on further than I could see. The angle of the ditch doesn’t seem to change much either. This was supposed to be simple and easy, yet here we were, suddenly having to improvise. It was better than war I guess.

“We’ll have to make some kind of bridge...” I mutter while stroking the back of my head. A vast landscape of trees made it somewhat helpful, but how do I make a bridge quietly?

“Stay with the cow, I’ll be back with scavenged supplies. Let’s hope Cy is a good talker because we’re going to need the extra time.” Emeris gives me a nod before he surveys the forest. He points to something off in the distance.

“Dead tree. Good luck moving it. She might wander off if I leave. But look at it this way: you wanted to stay alert right? What better way to stay sharp than building a bridge by yourself?” I narrow my eyes in response, then slide down the embankment. I look up at the small mountain of dirt I have to climb. If I was going to repeatedly go up and down, I might as well make a decent path. It’s something every Taraskan was taught during basic. When out in the field, if you find yourself traversing the same difficult route, find time to make it easier. I look around and find a log barely a foot wide, that had numerous branches sticking out from the base. It was broken in half and would probably make a few decent support beams, but that was it.

I roll the log so a branch is almost submerged in the mud. When I broke it, it would be almost completely silent. I stomp on them just enough to break them loose. The idea is to put the branches into the dirt wall to act as steps. They wouldn't last forever, but I didn't need them to. Putting my foot onto a branch, rather than mud, was going to make life a thousand times easier when I climb in and out of the ditch. I procure several more branches using the same method and go over to what looked like the least steep section of the dirt wall and begin carving out a decent slope with my gauntlets. When I can’t reach any higher with my hands, I pull out my sword and pry large lumps of dirt loose until there’s a less steep path to the top.

I grab the branches, put more mud on them and break them to be decently wider than my small path. I ram them into the walls of dirt across my walkway. They needed to dig into the walls a little on both sides to help them from coming loose. This required vaguely screwing them into both sides, before letting it rest somewhere in the middle where it had several even inches of coverage in each wall. When it fits just right, I gently put my weight straight down on it.

I repeat the process several times until I have what barely qualified as stairs. The climb out is a lot easier, but I had no idea how to silently drag an entire tree through a forest by myself. Emeris hums approvingly behind me.

“Not bad.” I march off into the forest and finally see the log Emeris was talking about. It wasn’t very long, but it was plenty thick for the cow to walk across. I stretch my arms for a few minutes, then lift one end of the log. I keep moving my hands down its dry trunk until I’m right under it. My grunts are difficult to keep restrained as I lift it onto my shoulders. Each step is placed carefully into an area with no leaves or on a rock.

My back starts drenching me in sweat as I arduously make my way back to Emeris. He walks in front of the cow and motions for me to drop it at his feet. I set the log down and tense up. I had it completely vertical and I’d only have one chance to let it fall right where Emeris was. We do a silent count to three before I give the wood a hardy push. Emeris catches it with his hands but underestimates the weight. His face goes red as he struggles not to let it fall into the small valley. I cross my arms and watch him slowly drag it back into position. He finally sets it down and shoots me a nasty glare.

I hop down into the ditch and use the smaller log from before to brace our makeshift bridge. After climbing out, Emeris is already trying to coax the cow over to it. I stand at my end, trying to make encouraging hand motions. Emeris shakes his head.

“No no, move out of the way, give her a clear path!” It takes several minutes of me trying to remain friendly, while Emeris does a combo of pushing and talking, but after a few moos and a lot of hesitation, she finally crosses the bridge. Once she’s over, she begins devouring the grass. Emeris walks over it with an exhausted look on his face. I give him a condescending snort.

“You think leading a cow is hard? Try carrying an entire tree.” Emeris rolls his eyes.

“It was technically half a tree. Way to exaggerate Mr. Garge.” The walk through the woods is eerily quiet. I had never thought about what actually took place when it came to making meat. Growing attached to my food, was also completely new. Could we really go through with it? She was actually becoming sort of adorable. I take it she hadn’t been out in a while, as she happily trotted along, pushing random rocks or wood around with her front hoof and examining beneath it. I had never seen a cow act like her. It was similar to a puppy in all honesty.

We make it to a clearing and Emeris starts setting up a small base for a fire, a drying rack and a nice heavy stick to cook meat on. I take a load off and relax in the grass. The cow looks at me, walks over and plops down so her snout is only a foot from my head and begins eating the grass. She was almost smiling, having that strange ability to replicate facial expressions like the ponies did.

A rustling from my left grabs my attention: it’s Cy and he has an ax with him. I get up and remain silent, unsure of what to even say. The cow and I lock eyes for what is probably the final time. She looks up and down my armor curiously, as well as Emeris’ teal coat. We don’t move, hoping she’ll keep her focus on us and not Cy who drags a heavy ax behind him. He must have snagged it on his way out of the farm.

Cy raises the ax above his head with a giant smile.

“Steak, here we come!” He says casually. The cow looks at me and smiles.

“Beg your pardon hun, but what is this steak ya’ll keep referring to?” Cy’s smile gets replaced with his jaw almost hitting the floor. We all stare at her dumbfounded. The cow’s smile becomes a bit more nervous.

“I apologize for not saying something earlier, I’m terribly shy.” She sticks out her front hoof to me.

“Names Jessabelle Darlin’!” I take her hoof and shake it gently, still lost for words.
Emeris smiles and takes a few steps forward. “Greetings Jessabelle. Um...if you don’t mind me saying so, we had no idea that cows were...um...how do I phrase this...aware of their own existence.”
Jessabelle looks at him confused. “Well of course we are, why wouldn’t we be? We might not be as smart as ponies, but we sure ain’t no animal!”
Cy lets go of his ax, which tumbles around on the ground for a second, but he still keeps his pose. “Are you kidding me?! Is everything alive here?!” He screams. Emeris tries to keep a straight face, but he loses it and spins around. He breaks into hysterics and falls to all four.

Jessabelle looks around worried. “I apologize, did I do something wrong?”
I take off my left gauntlet and gently pat her jaw. “No, my dear. We just had a...miscommunication.”
Cy storms up with his hands frozen in rage like talons. “Wait a minute, why did you come with us in the first place then?!”
Jessabelle turns and faces Cy, then walks backwards nervously until she’s behind me. “I...I’m sorry, I just get so cooped up, I figured that since these nice strangers are taking me on a small walk, why not just enjoy the surprise?”
Cy rotates his face to the right and gawks at her. “Why...why would you just trust a bunch of strangers who snuck you out of your pen and lead you deep into the woods in the middle of the night?!”
Emeris waves his hands frantically from behind me at Cy. “Um, Cy, this is Equestria. They trust each other here.”
Jessabelle looks behind her with concern at Emeris. “What do ya’ll mean? What were you planning then if I shouldn’t have trusted you?”

My eyes bulge and I look over at Cy, who has the same expression. That was pretty damn clever for a friggin’ cow. How the hell were we gonna talk our way out of this? Even now if we get her back to the pen, she’ll inform the others and we’ll be screwed. We certainly can’t kill her now, it’s the same as murder.
Emeris lets out a small laugh and shakes his head before taking a few steps towards her. “I...I apologize, you must be terribly confused. You see...we thought you were someone else. It seems our friends were pulling a prank on us.”
Jessabelle puts her front hoof to her chest and sighs with amusement. Once again, she also has the same extra mobility as the ponies do. There was no way a normal cow could not only touch their chest with a hoof, but also react with such mannerisms. She lets out a nervous chuckle. “Oh dear, you had me worried you were gonna kidnap me or...make me...you know...do chores and whatnot.”
Cy looks at me and rolls his eyes. “Yes, because that it totally the worst thing ever.” He walks a few feet away as he shakes his head.
Jessabelle relaxes a bit. “So, what was this prank ya’ll were talking about?”
I hear hesitation in Emeris’ voice as he tries to come up with a convincing story off the top of his head.
“Oh um...we were told you had information about someone named...Steak. You see, in our culture, it’s tradition for someone to hide the locations of presents. It’s a special occasion for our friend over there.”
Jessabelle’s ears perk up. “Oh, I love surprises! Can I help?”
Emeris laughs nervously. “Um well...actually...yes, yes you can, but you have to keep this all a secret okay my dear?” Jessabelle nods her head excitedly. “Yes, yes of course!”
Her and Emeris walk back towards the direction of the farm, as he starts rattling off lies to the poor cow. He’ll most likely give her something to focus on other than the parts where we took her from her pen. If I was a bored cow, I’d probably spill the beans, so Emeris will give her something to yap on about that’s not incriminating.

I turn to Cy and shrug sheepishly. “Dude, I’m sorry, maybe we can-”
Cy kicks a rock that goes sailing into the trees. “This sucks! Equestria sucks! You two suck! Everything sucks!”
Then storms off to be on his own for a while. I cross my arms and shake my head with a smile.