Handsome Jack's Diamond
Chapter 7: Fixer uppers
Previous ChapterDr. Zed introduced himself to the Vault Hunters. Turned out he lost his license and, to keep the town running (or what's left of it), he's put many vending machines around Pandora that, with the right amount of money, they can pay for and be healed.
"Now that we're done with all that," Claptrap spoke "please follow me and I'll open the gate for you."
"Lead the way." Roland replied. They followed Claptrap to the gates of Fyrestone, but stopped as they heard cars driving. A car drove by the gate and shot Claptrap down, then bandits climbed the walls and attacked them. The four fought off the bandits
"Oh my God! I'm leaking! I think I'm leaking! Aaahhh!!! I'm leaking! There's oil everywhere!"
"Shut up!" Brick yelled, kicking the robot, followed by punching the last bandit in the face.
"Looks like you got under Nine-Toe's skin." Zed spoke through their intercoms "Don't worry, he'll get what's coming to him.
"You did it!" Angel cheered "I knew you were the right choice! Oh... that poor little robot needs our help. Would you kindly give him a hand?"
"Roland?" Lilith asked
"I got it." He replied, turning Claptrap over. "Damn, Brick, you just HAD to break him even more!?"
"I would've done the same." Mordecai defended.
"That little robot is hurt." Angel spoke to them "He isn't going to last very long without attention. Why don't you look around for something to fix him up?"
"...I think there's a repair kit over there." Lilith spoke. She ran back to Zed's shack, found the repair kit, and handed it to Roland. "There you go. Do your thing."
"You know I'm better with turrets than robots, right?" Roland replied
"Same difference." Roland sighed and used the kit on Claptrap. The robot got back up to it's wheel.
"Ah ha! Good as new!" Claptrap cheered "Am I leaking?"
"You will be if you don't shut up!" Brick warned.
"WAHH!!! I'll open the door!" Claptrap ran and opened the door.
"People don't yet trust you." Angel informed "If you're going to ever find the vault, you'll need the aid of the people. Helping Zed and his Nine-Toes problem is a good move."
"... Think we should ask for jobs?" Mordecai asked
"I don't see why not." Lilith replied.
"Friendship!!!" Diamond Tiara cheered, posing a bit next to Angel. "Drama! Comedy! Action!"
"Uh... what are you doing?" Angel asked
"Oh! I'm just thinking that, if we were to make a movie about this, we have to keep all of this in mind!"
"...And make a trilogy?"
"Ooh! A trilogy! I like that! ... But the third needs to be on hold and instead, be a prequel!"
"Ugh, you know how much I hate prequels."
"And turn that into a trilogy!"
"...Really?"
"What!? It's business genius!"
"Whatever..."
"Yes, I have a job for you all." Zed spoke "We got ourselves a Skag problem, a bandit problem, and, of course, my vending machine here lost it's power coupling. I suggest you get the power coupling first and take out a few skags along the way before you deal with the bandits. Here, you can buy a shield. More will come along the way, but... well, be safe, okay?"
"Yes, sir." the vault hunters replied in unison.
The Vault hunters returned with the power coupling and were covered in skag slobber.
"Phew! You all smell!" Zed commented.
"Shut up." Lilith spoke. She placed the power coupling inside.
"It's dangerous to go alone." The machine spoke in an old man voice. "Take this." Out came a toy sword, followed by four shields.
"Ah hell!" Zed swore "I shouldn't have laid that cartridge inside! Eh, keep those ones, free of charge... for now." They nodded; each took a shield and ran out to the nearby bandit camp.
Diamond Tiara mocked the gun noises and death sounds that happened as the Vault hunters attacked the camp.
"... I'm starting to regret this idea." Angel commented.
"Oh come on," Diamond replied "I've got ideas!"
"Sure you do..."
"No! Really! Do you have a piece of paper & pencil anywhere?" She looked around, then picked up a tablet. "Let's see here..."
"Have fun with that. I gotta make sure they survive and find that vault."
The Vault hunters returned with new guns, and sold the junk to the machine.
"Alright... that's five hundred bucks each." Mordecai spoke "Fair enough?" They all nodded.
"Thanks for taking care of those bandits." Zed spoke to them. "I don't have anymore jobs available. Come back later when I do, but, I know someone who can help you guys out."
"We're interested." Roland said.
"His name's T.K. Baha. He's out there, but you can't miss him. Friendly face... if you steal from him."
"We'll go to him."
"Goodluck! ... Where's my nudes?"
"What are nudes?" Diamond asked, sketching a premature gun.
"Uh..." Angel replied, sweating.
You asked her THAT!?
What!? I was curious! Now I realize what it means.
What are... nudes?
All of you are nude.
... I don't follow.
You're all naked! Especially you, Silver!
... I feel weird now.
The Vault Hunters made it to T.K. Baha's shed
Oh yeah... he's blind.