Author's Notes:

Wow. Seven days since I uploaded the last chapter? Weird... well, I was pretty busy. In any case, I think you know the drill. I still don't have the resources to pay for your therapy, so you may want to consider the link here.

http://pastebin.com/suswtfZp

“Equestria, present day, maybe.

Sew it turnd oUT Dat sleepig in un ally waznt da bEST iDEEEa. When Brine awok, ‘e wuz in reely bad pane. Da grund waz harde ston, ND hiz bACK hert wiv teh agny ov a thausand burNINg orphans. Brian clenCHED hiz tooth, shear forse uv wil all that wuz hOLDig HIM back frum brusting out in TEERS!

“Heh. No prblem,” Brian sed aLOUD. :I cen handl da fysical pain! Its mai hart dat’s week.” He glanced down, nd shadoughs frm HIS Hare covered hiz face liek it was an anime!

‘in anee caSE, that dusn’t chang. the issue at hAND, eye hAF 2 free dis world from it’s’s’s STONY PRIZ’N!!! if i dont fIN somthin 2 dew soon, ill go INSAIN! IN DE MEMBRAIN!!! WAAGH!!!

The camara zoomd in REEL CLOSe to capchure breyns face as he let hiz frustations Spew outtve him wiv a SIgnle Screem! He threw hiz fist in the aer and holwd lik a WOLV. then he sat bak downand began 2 pLAN.
]
sEW. Tthe reeson evrythins petrifyed iz becuz im a batass who stoppd the Elements of Harmo0ny. Sew maybe i can just beeya baTASS agen and reverseit! Brian thouht. “Genius! il’l go rite awai!” brIAN went rite awai.

The Elemnts wrer in th centrol sqare ov Ponyvil. Brian fond dem on th neks AND hed of a groop uv Poniys. “Hmm, brian thout. Well, gess its time to tri. Elemnts! Obay me!” he yelld. The elements didnt respound. “Elements! I commend you! Do ass i comaynd!!!! Brine comayndedd. Still, the Elments didn due as Brian told thm. “Elements, you’re so rood1 why wont yew jUST do as i sai?” Brin poutted. The Elements were hearlesss batstards, so uv corse they Dadnt respond.

This was 2 much. Brine’s I’s turnd READ as he directred alluv hiss powre on th Elemnts ina fit of RAgE. The eleMENTs wre ovrewhlmed by Brian’s fury, engluffd in a feild of Energy. Bt wen the durst had cleard- Brian was astonhissed 2 sea that the Elemnts wre unscratchd!

Dis wuz tOO MACH!! Brian wuz a pathetrick hum’n. he Hadn’t flailed threwout his adventur, but now hee’d faled to liev up to his batassness. “Mai emoshuns…” Brien muttered. “My hart… to week. Brian hed a heart attak nd died”

Den threr wuz a scene ware a buncha humnas showd up in tears nad hed a conversashun dat mockd Soap Oprah cliches. It wuz reveeled tht Brian wuz pregnant wiv Rose’s John’s baby who was aso John, and that Roze wuz pregnant but den note Pregnent, just reely fat. zen Brians brothrer appeerd nd they had a fight scene. Unfortanately, dere wasn’t a budgt for the fite sceen. Ooops!

Brin wok up. “Wow. he sed. That shure was a weeird drem I just had.’ he lOoked around nd saw dat everythin was no longrer petrified. ‘Kewl!” he cried, stiking out his hands wiv two fingers up, liek in animes. “I win again!”

-----

“That is newest installment in my Brian stories. Yaya! It’s a trilogy now!” Temmie beamed. ”Yeya! I call that one Drama! What do you think?” Temmie had never received an answer, and that trend seemed yet to change. No reply came from the dark dungeon cell, the wrought-iron bars or the filthy floor. The request simply reverbrated across the moldy stone walls. Not even the spiders took notice.

“Huh,” Temmie muttered. “Ya know, I really do want to get an answer soon. Criticism best thing for new writer!” The spiders smirked slightly, then moved on with their spinning. Temmie sighed. “This boring,” she muttered. “Prison cell too cramped and lifeless. Why is this even here? This is supposed to be the castle of rainbows and friendship or something.” She gave a deep sigh. There was no reaction, so she gave a deeper sigh, and a louder one. After waiting another few minutes and receiving no response, Temmie flopped over on her back. “Bored. So bored! So boring!” she complained. She glanced over at the spiders, watching as they went about their spidery deeds. One went around in a red outfit capturing tiny goblins. Another wielded a set of eight magic dice against an anthropomorphic dog with one eye. Yet another sold baked goods and played with a monstrous cupcake. Temmie supposed that they were kind of interesting.

“Wonder what ponies are up to.”

-----

“So,” Twilight began. “Has anypony figured out exactly what happened?”

There weren’t any immediate answers, though all around the table, ponies looked as if they were deep in thought. Celestia, who, not having a throne at this table, had pulled up a stool, spoke up. “I’ve sent word to Cadence and Shining Armor, as well as Griffonstone, Yakyakistan, and the Dragon tribes. They all seem to have suffered the same petrification that we did. I’m not sure how long it’s been since we could all move about freely. Perhaps the entire planet was petrified by the Elements.”

“We’ve seen the Elements banish and purify evil individuals, as well as petrify rogue spirits,” Luna muttered. “But to think they were host to the power to entomb the entire world in stone?” The Princess of the Night gave a thoroughly concerned look. “Such strength is almost unthinkable.”

“Yes,” Celestia said. Addressing the assembled ponies, she announced, “In light of these recent events, I want all of you to think again on your responsibility as bearers of the Elements of Harmony. It seems that not only are the Elements far more powerful than we could ever imagine, but that we can no longer use them indiscriminately, if their use can have that much of a consequence.”

“Looking at the target, I never could’ve imagined they’d cause the Elements to malfunction so critically,” Rarity said. “Why would that odd creature bring about such an effect?”

“Um- excuse me?” Fluttershy spoke up.

“Yes, go ahead Fluttershy,” Twilight said.

“Well- I’m not sure that using the Elements on Temmie was the right decision,” Fluttershy offered. “I mean, they weren’t doing anything wrong.”

“Nothing wrong? Fluttershy, you saw what that thing could do!” Rainbow cried. “It just… wasn’t natural!”

“Eh,” Pinkie Pie shrugged. “Nothing more than what I would do on an above-average day.”

“Yeah, but you’re Pinkie Pie,” Rainbow Dash said. “We’re used to it from you, but some weird dog-cat...thing that just does stuff like you is just really weird.

“Besides,” Applejack offered, “the Princesses said that they sensed some dark presence on them. Right?” She turned towards Celestia for confirmation.

“I felt… something,” Celestia said. “I wasn’t quite sure what it was, but it was foreign. Alien. And… unsettling. Whatever that being is, its existence in Equestria is unnatural.”

“B-but... was that really cause enough to use the Elements on her?” Fluttershy stammered. “I mean, maybe the Elements reacted the way they did because… Temmie isn’t some villain or monster, and we were just overreacting?”

“I don’t know how the Elements work, but that doesn’t sound quite right,” Twilight said. “Princess, do you think shooting Temmie was a bad decision?”

“Knowing the consequences? Of course!” Celestia replied instantly. “But… given the situation as it was before we shot her… I can understand the decision I made. It seemed business as usual to turn the Elements on what was probably an enemy.”

“I’m still suspicious, though,” Twilight said. “I mean, how did we end up freed from stone? It’s not like Temmie can use the Elements, and by her account she was the only one left unpetrified for however long we were out. So why were we freed?”

“Maybe the Elements just can’t hold all of the planet in stone for very long,” Applejack offered. “I mean, they could only hold Discord for a thousand years. Imagine freezing the whole world at once. Maybe they just couldn’t keep up?”

“Or perhaps Temmie had a more direct role,” Rarity hypothesized. “That strange creature does seem to have some tricks up her proverbial sleeve.”

“Yes, Temmie is indeed a most curious specimen,” Luna said. “Methinks she might be too dangerous to let roam free around Equestria.”

“Well then, it’s a good thing we’ve got her locked up down in the dungeons,” Rainbow grinned. “Why do we even have those again?”

“I dunno. Came with the castle, I guess,” Twilight replied. “Never thought I’d have to make use of them, though.”

“Yaya! Dungeons good fun!” The entirety of the table’s pony population froze, then slowly rotated their heads in the direction of the voice. Temmie stood at the foot of the table, previously unnoticed by everypony, with the same cheerful grin plastered on her face. “Course, watching spiders not always that fun.”

Twilight’s eye gave a moderate twitch. “Temmie? What are you doing here?”

“Tem thought you were talking about Tem,” Temmie grinned. “Tem like talking about Tem. Tem thought she’d join in.”

“OK… But Temmie, how did you get out of your cell?”

“Tem took the air vents!” Temmie replied with glee.

Twilight’s eye gave an intense twitch, before she turned to the rest of the group. “I don’t think we have air vents,” she muttered.

“Maybe they came with the castle?” Pinkie offered.

“Hey! Yous talking about Tem?” Tem shouted.

“Uh- no!” Twilight quickly replied. “Not at all, no.”

“OK. Temmie bored now. Going exploring!”

“Temmie, wait!” Twilight called. It was too late though, and Twilight watched as Temmie strode towards the front door and slid under the thin crack, exiting the room.

For a while, the table was left silent. Naturally, Rainbow was the first to recover. “How did she do that?” Rainbow cried. “She just… slid under the door like a piece of paper?”

“Yeah. The only pony with greater disrespect for the laws of spacial integrity is me,” Pinkie said. Suddenly, her eyes lit up with excitement. “Ooh! Ooh! Finally, somepony who understands my meta-humor! I’ve got to go make friends with Temmie right away!” Pinkie Pie leapt up from her throne, before launching herself out the window and leaving the scene.

Twilight gave a sigh. “I guess that’s another window I need replaced.”

“Yeah, but I usually nail the landing,” Rainbow smirked.

“Pinkie Pie might have the right idea, though,” Celestia said, rising from her stool. “I don’t think I can stay for this meeting much longer either. There’s a mountain’s-worth of paperwork left back in Canterlot that I need finished as soon as possible.” Her sister followed suit.

“But- Princess!” Twilight cried. “We can’t use the Elements, and we can’t keep Temmie locked up. What are we going to do with her?”

“Let her be free then,” Celestia answered. “If you can’t contain her, monitor her closely, and report any strange occurrences to me.”

“All do respect, Princess, but that’d be like sending you a letter every time Pinkie says something nonsensical,” Applejack said.

“Then report only the strangest occurrences,” Celestia said. “Perhaps Temmie’s... alien nature need not mean she must be imprisoned. Befriending her is a much favorable alternative. This, my student, is your task. Now, really, I must be going.” As soon as the Princess finished her words, she disappeared in a flash of golden light, followed closely by her sister. Twilight and her friends were left alone in the castle.

“Alright then,” Twilight said to herself, breathing deeply. “Befriend Temmie. No problem. No issue whatsoever. Uh…” She turned to her friends. “Question one. Where is Temmie going to stay?”

“Hey everypony!” a voice called. The door creaked open, and Pinkie Pie stuck her head inside. “You’ve got to come see this!”

-----

“No,” Rarity said, squarely putting her hoof down.

“Come on, Rarity. It’s not that bad.”

“No.”

“Just put up with it for awhile?”

“No.”

“It’s actually pretty impressive that she set all this up so fast.”

“I don’t care how impressive it is. I want it out of my boutique.”

“Yaya!” Temmie squeed, gesturing to a slapdash sign nailed above the door to Carousel Boutique. “Tem Shop- open for business!”