Chapter Five

‘One. Hundred. Years.’ Spike found himself thinking about that a lot. It had been over one hundred years since he and Twilight had first come to Ponyville. He missed Twilight. He missed everypony, really. He had long outlived them all already, and he himself was still only really in his youth. He didn’t get to know anypony else, so the only ponies he could still talk to were the Princesses, but as they were always busy with royal duties, he hardly saw either of them.

Spike missed Ponyville as well. He looked down to it, high atop his mountain cave, a sour expression on his face, as he recalled why he could no longer set foot in the town. It wasn’t his fault; it’s difficult to be careful about where you step when you’re his size. Not to mention he tried to help when he accidently stepped on that pony, not to mention the injuries were only minor. Still, the Ponyville residents didn’t want the dragon around.

Not that he could really blame them, anypony that knew Spike when he was an adorable baby dragon was long gone. Nopony in that town actually knew Spike, and he never wanted to get to know them. ‘Just more friends to lose.’ That thought always crept into his mind whenever he considered trying to talk to somepony. It was what always kept him from making new friends; it was part of why Spike had become so miserable.

He had kept the pain of losing all of his friends to himself, never letting anypony try to comfort him, in fear that he would grow attached. Spike always tried to act kind towards ponies in his seldom interactions with them. He didn’t want to turn into ‘other’ dragons; the ones that gobbled ponies, hoarded gems, and murder those who dare approach his cave. Spike never wanted to give into those primal dragon urges.

He was however, beginning to see what could make a creature act that way. Having to live alone, hiding away from those who fear you, it was certainly enough to make for one very bitter, resentful creature. Spike often felt little thoughts like that sneak up on him; ‘They all hate you, you know. You really should give them a reason to.’ But he always turned those thoughts away. Sometimes that was hard to do, but then he would hear Twilight’s voice, reminding him of who he was.

The voice would come less and less frequently with the years, though. It was hard for Spike to hold onto the memory of her for so many years, as little details about her would slip from his mind. He knew that one day he would barely even remember Twilight, and even though being able to let go of the painful memories he carried was a prospect Spike very much desired, he never wanted to forget every the purple unicorn had done for him.

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Today was the worst day of Spike’s life. All he wanted to do at that moment was fly away, and never look back. It was all too much to take in. He couldn’t though, this was too important. Besides, he was so stricken with grief; his wings were clasped to his side, incapable of spreading them. Celestia had made a big event out of all of this, not surprisingly. It was for her personal pupil after all.

It seemed like all of Canterlot had gathered for the occasion. Everypony was gathered in the royal garden, right where Twilight requested it to be. A giant marble statue of the unicorn was on proud display, with an engraving on it.

“Here Lies Twilight Sparkle”

“Ponyville’s Resident Librarian”

“Princess Celestia’s Star Pupil”

“Friend”

Spike was choked up just looking at the statue; he couldn’t bear to look at Twilight’s face right now. Spike suddenly felt something lean against him. It was Fluttershy, looking up at him with puffy, red eyes. She was the only one of his friends left, but Spike could see the effects of age were weighing heavily upon the pegasus. Her eyes bore crow’s feet, face laid with wrinkles, barely able to stand up on her own two hooves anymore.

And yet, she stilled made sure she could be there for Spike on this day. It was at least somewhat comforted knowing he still had somepony left. In the back of his mind though, he feared the inevitable day, and however soon it was, that the gentle pegasus would go. That was a thought for another time, though. Today was about Twilight.

Before long, Princess Celestia arrived, a shaken expression Spike had never seen on the Princess since her reunion with Luna. The Princess gave a long speech about Twilight, from the moment Twilight had first met her as a filly, to the last days the two had together. All throughout her tale, the Sun Goddess regaled ponies in tales of their time through the decades. The Princess finally reached the end of her speech, Spike just about ready to burst from the seams with tears.

“And so, we commend this pony to the afterlife awaiting her, remembering her for all she has done for everypony. We will miss you, Twilight Sparkle.” Spike could’ve sworn he saw Celestia wipe a tear from her eye as she walked away. Everypony began to disperse, until only Spike and Fluttershy remained. “Come on Spike. My carriage is waiting.” Her voice was weak and frail, a barely audible squeak to Spike. “I think I’m gonna stick around, actually. You go ahead.”

In reality, Spike wanted very much to leave the spot, but he couldn’t bring himself to move; he could only stand there with his head hung low, trying to remain his composure, at least until everypony was gone. “Oh… okay. Don’t stay too long, Spike.” Fluttershy really tried to look out for Spike for the past few days. Spike was fairly certain the pegasus was just trying to fill Twilight’s affectionate, motherly role to Spike. It was a futile effort to Spike. ‘There’s nopony like Twilight.’ He thought.

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Spike hadn’t left his cave in days, and the hunger was really starting to get to him. At his size, he had to eat a lot, and the only food big enough to be satisfying were… He didn’t like to think about it. He would never eat a pony, he knew that. He had however had a rather guilty experience with a group of buffalo that he never had been able to live down.

It was those feral moments that scared Spike the most; the thought that one day he might completely give in to instinct, and end up ravaging his beloved Ponyville. He could find peace though, in that for the time being he wasn’t a horrible monster. He just wished somepony else could see that. “Spike, you haven’t left since my last visit, have you?” Spike lifted his head, to see Princess Celestia had trotted into his cave while he was lost in thought.

“Hello Princess.” Spike’s words were monotone and joyless. “How’s your star pupil doing?” Spike could see the Princess’ discomfort. Anytime the two discussed Celestia’s new student, both their thoughts would turn to Twilight. “He’s doing quite well, actually. In fact, he has proven to be quite a powerful unicorn.” Spike hated hearing how good that pony was. ‘Nopony could be better than Twilight’ was a thought that was constantly repeated in Spike’s mind during these conversations.

“I know you’re in an awkward position, Spike. We both are. You are a dear friend, but with your growth, you are putting my kingdom in a fair bit of danger.” Spike knew this conversation was going to happen at some point. He had been putting off visiting the Princesses in an attempt to avoid this conversation. “I know.” Spike said in little more than a whisper.

He turned his gaze from the stone floor over to Celestia, who was now walking closer to him. “But what do you want me to do?” Spike already knew the answer that was coming, but he still held onto the hope it wouldn’t have to be that way. Celestia let out a heavy sigh. “Spike, you need to leave Equestria. Like all dragons, it’s not safe for everypony to have you here. I wish there was another way. I’m sorry.”

Those words hurt Spike. Not because the only friend he still had was forcing him away, but because she was right. He would hurt somepony again, he knew it, The Princess knew it, everypony knew it. Rather than saying anything, Spike headed towards the edge of the cave, readying his wings to take flight. Something stopped him, though. A thought that sprouted a question in his mind. Spike turned to face Celestia.

“How do you do it?” Celestia was taken aback by the question, a quizzical expression on her face. So Spike continued his question. “How can you move past losing your subject throughout the years? Especially the ones you know so well.” Spike could see Celestia was deep in thought at the question, recalling memories of ponies past. For a long time, a silence passed between the two, until Celestia finally spoke.

“I don’t.” Spike wasn’t expecting that answer, it was now his turn to hold the confused face. Celestia continued. “I do not stop feeling for those ponies I have lost, for if I did, I would forget them. That would do dishonor to their memory. But with each new friend, one can come to terms with these tragedies. You and I bear the wonderful gift that is such a long life, Spike.” Spike didn’t feel like it was such a gift to him.

“It may feel like a curse at times, Spike. But with your age will come wisdom, and patience. You will have horribly painful moments, that is something I will not lie to you about.” If this speech was meant to cheer Spike up, it clearly wasn’t working very well. “But,” Celestia interrupted Spike’s lingering thoughts, “If you continue as you have to lock yourself away from the world, you will only hurt yourself with your time lost.” That filled Spike’s mind with anger. “Then why are you sending me away!” Spike momentarily forgot how loud a dragon’s shouting was, as his voice carried well beyond his mountain home.

Celestia dropped her head. She hated having to do this. She had been putting this off for years, but she couldn’t bear to wait any longer for something terrible to happen. “Spike, you need to be with your own kind. I simply cannot allow you to stay here. My first duty is to the safety my subjects. I’m sorry, but you have to leave, immediately.”

‘So this was how Spike’s life in Equestria was going to end, was it? Cast out by my only friend? Fine.’ That was Spike’s final thought, before he spread his wings and soared away, leaving Celestia alone in his no-longer home, a heavy weight inside her chest, deeply sorry to the dragon for what she had just done. “One day he will understand”, The Sun Princess said to herself, before taking flight back to Canterlot.

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Celestia had approached Spike shortly after Fluttershy had gone. “Spike, I’m sorry.” Spike could recognize The Princess’ voice anywhere, so he didn’t bother to turn to see who it was. He remained silent; he couldn’t even open his mouth to let out a greeting. “She meant a lot to both of us, I think you know that. I’m taking it just as hard as you are. But please listen to me when I tell you to try to learn to move on.”

Celestia’s words fell on deaf ears. All Spike could think about at the moment was his life crumbling around him, piece by piece as the years floated by. Eventually, he broke away from his thoughts, turning to face Celestia. “Cele, I’m scared.” Spike could see the pain the Princess’ eyes. “What is it you are afraid of, Spike?” The dragon fumbled with his words, trying to figure out how to phrase just right what he wanted to say.

“I’m afraid of things changing. Before long, I’ll be too big to stay in Ponyville anymore, and have to live in some dark cave in the mountains. Then one day I’ll have to leave Equestria, or I’ll smog up all of Equestria during one of my Draconian naps. I don’t want to leave my life behind.” Celestia walked up close to the dragon, they were mere inches from each other, although Spike still towered above The Princess.

“Spike, you are doing no good to Twilight’s memory by continuing to ignore everything she tried to teach you. You must stop focusing on what you have to lose, and enjoy what you still have before it is gone.” Spike groaned. That lecture was not one he liked to continue hearing, but he knew he had to embrace it at some point, as hard as it may be. “Remember, Spike, you’ll always have a place here.” Spike let out a little smile. “I’ll hold you to that.”

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Spike carried in his claws the only item he kept with him as he soared through the sky; the gem Rarity had given him so many years ago. He always held onto it, it being the only gem he vowed to never eat. Eyeing his destination from above, he swooped down below. Ponyville Cemetery. Spike immediately spotted Rarity’s tombstone, having memorized its location from previous visits.

Engraved on the tombstone were the words “Rarity: Fashionista Extraordinaire”. Spike couldn’t help but smile. She died doing what she loved. Spike laid the gem he was carrying against the stone. “I’m sorry Rarity, but I have to go away for a long time. I don’t know when or if I’ll ever be back. I just wanted to stop by to tell you-” Spike choked on the words, before regaining his composure and finishing his thought. “I forgive you. I’m sorry I never got the chance to tell you.” With that, Spike flew away, tears in his eyes plummeting into the soil below.

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