Chapter Four

Every day. Every day for the past 30 years, Twilight and Spike written back and forth to each other. It was becoming increasingly difficult however for Spike to use a quill. His claws were simply getting too big. ’50 years since Twi and I came to Ponyville. Wow, did that time go by fast.’ Spike wondered to himself, sitting inside the newly expanded library.

The residence of Ponyville had all helped to rebuild the library from the ground up, after a sneezing accident while Spike slept had caused the whole library to burn down. Recalling the event, Spike thought aloud to himself. “I suppose it was a happy accident. After all, I could barely fit through the door anymore.” Spike chuckled at the thought. He was larger than either of the Princesses now. He was becoming a big, snarly, teeth gnashing dragon.

Nopony saw him like that though. Over the years, Ponyville’s resident dragon had become very well known. Spike would stroll down the streets and ponies would always wave to him; little fillies would often try climbing onto his backside, much to their parents’ detest. Sometimes Spike wished he could act like a big, scary, mean dragon. He would at least make fewer friends that way. ‘Less friends to lose.’

Spike seldom had cheery thoughts on friendship nowadays. He had already seen enough friends pass away. The hardest of which, probably being the first, as the concept was new to him, and he never real was able to move on during the sad moments of his life. Spike never got over the feeling of abandonment from Rarity, but he still had his other friends to at least try to cheer him up. But that all started to change.

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“I can’t believe she’s really gone.” Twilight had her head hung low, leaning on Spike for support. It was nice having Twilight back in Ponyville, even if it was for such a solemn occasion. All of Spike’s friends were there; Rainbow Dash had recently resigned as the Captain of The Wonderbolts. She was just getting too old for it now. So she spent most of her time relaxing, enjoying her ‘retirement’.

Pinkie Pie was crying deeply into Dash’s shoulder. Spike could tell why. It was hard to have only just come back to town, only to have your friend pass away days later. Pinkie had apparently been traveling across Equestria the past few years. Spike remembered her saying something about life being too short, so she wanted to see everything Equestria had to offer. ‘Pinkie never was one to stay in one place for too long’, Spike thought. ‘Though, she usually just hops around. Not hop countries.’

Having left without a goodbye, everypony was baffled as to why she would leave without so much as a goodbye. Pinkie had said “What’s the point in a goodbye if I’m coming back?” Just like that, it was as if Pinkie never left; asides from the plethora of stories she had, that is. Spike looked over to Fluttershy, who was tending to some baby bunnies, no doubt to try and take her mind away from the scene mere metres away. A tombstone is never something that you like to remind you of your friend.

They had all come to pay their respects to Applejack. Spike had really hated how she had passed. Even into her old age she insisted on continuing to work the farm, despite her friends’ constant worried complaints. That was what did her in. Just up and collapsed in the middle of bucking a stubborn tree, not to be discovered for hours until Applebloom arrived at the library door, streaming with tears.

‘You stubborn filly,’ Spike felt a pain in his chest remembering all the times he had told Applejack to learn to relax. ‘You couldn’t have just listened to me, could you!’ Spike yelled inside his own mind, staring down at the grave. The dragon scanned the surrounding area and counted the names of each pony as he saw them. ‘Pinkie, Dash, Twi, Fluttershy…’ Spike’s spirits dropped even lower. ‘Still no Rarity.’

Twilight walked with Spike back to the library, the two exchanging not a single word the entire trip. Upon entering the library, Spike immediately dropped to the floor, unable to keep going under the mental strain. “Spike, I know you feel responsible for this, but it’s not your fault.”

‘Twilight always could tell how I felt. I’d be glad she’s here if I weren’t so depressed.’ Spike let the silent compliment go unsaid. “I know, Twi. It’s just that-” He couldn’t finish the sentence. A lump in his throat just wouldn’t let the painful words out. That is, until Twilight walked over d nuzzled against him, her eyes twinkling as they looked up to him. “Why didn’t she show up?” Spike rolled onto his side, away from Twilight. He didn’t want to see her expression.

“Maybe… She didn’t find out? I’m sure if we went to Canterlot right now she-” Spike interrupted, while pulling himself back onto his feet. “No Twi, she doesn’t care. That, I’m sure of.” There was a long silence, until Twilight made a shift in tone Spike wasn’t expecting. “You’ve got to be kidding me Spike! After all these years, you still haven’t gotten past this?” Twilight’s face was filled with rage, and even to Spike’s massive form she looked intimidating.

“What do you want me to do Twilight! I can’t just forget!” Spike really didn’t want to argue with Twilight, especially knowing in Twi’s old age, he didn’t have much time left with her, and really wanted to make the best of it. But something inside him fueled his rage, pushing him to continue the argument. “What I want, Spike, is for you to forgive! If you keep spending all your time wishing things could stay the same, you’ll never get over these things!”

‘Why does she always have to be right?’ Spike knew he couldn’t win this argument, but his mouth betrayed him. “Get out. Now.” Spike turned away from Twilight, and waited to hear the library door slam shut before turning back again. Exhausted, Spike slumped back onto the ground. He wished at that moment that he could just cry, but his anger refused to subside. ‘I really hope this isn’t a dragon thing. I don’t want to be angry anymore.’

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Spike had later patched things up with Twilight, at least to the extent where she wasn’t mad at him. Spike continued to resent Rarity for leaving, though. ‘You’re not mad because she’s gone, you’re mad because you never told her how you felt.’ That wasn’t Spike’s voice inside his head, but Twilight’s. Her presence really was everywhere for Spike, her words of advice always coming to mind when he needed them. Once again, Twilight was right. Spike flew out from the library, and off into the distance, where the outline of Canterlot could be seen. ‘I’m coming, Rarity. I’m coming to put these stupid feelings to rest.’

The flight gave Spike plenty of time to think about what he was going to say. He went over the situation in his head over and over. No detail or scenario was left unprepared for. Once Rarity’s boutique was in sight, Spike let out a burst of speed towards it. He felt fueled by the adrenaline of confronting the mare; he wanted to get this done as soon as he could.

Touching down just outside the front door with a loud thud, Spike made his way towards the shop, an angry scowl arched across his face. Three hard knocks on the door were met with no response from inside. This only served to further infuriate the dragon. Spike made another loud pounding on the door, wherein it came unbolted from its hinges and came thundering down with a loud crash.

“Oops.” Spike looked around to see if anypony saw what he just did. He was thrown a few looks of disgust, fear, and confusion, but being a menacing dragon- or at least to those unfamiliar with him, no pony said anything and continued about their business. Spike groaned. The doorway was too small for him to fit in. He was however, able to crane his head inside, and looked around the shop.

There was nothing there. The place was completely barren. ‘What in Equestria happened here?’ Spike entertained the thought that Rarity simply moved to some place bigger, more expensive, and farther away from everypony else. ‘Hmm. Maybe Twilight knows.’ So Spike set off towards the Royal Canterlot Library. If Twilight was anywhere, it was there.

Spike was certainly grateful that the library had that large, glass window on one side; it certainly made things easier, since he couldn’t fit into the library either. Again though, Spike could not find the pony he was looking for. ‘Twilight not in a library? Things really have changed.’ Without any other ideas left, Spike spread his wings and took off back towards Ponyville.

He stopped, however, when he heard a voice call out from behind him. It was Princess Celestia, riding on her carriage, which was now fast approaching him. “Spike, it was been quite some time since we have seen each other. How have you been?” Spike had long ago abandoned traditional mannerisms in front royalty, and the Princesses seemed to as well.

“I’m doing-” Spike thought about it for a second. ‘Maybe the Princess knows where Twilight is?’ “Say, Cele,” Spike had, like many others over the years, adopted the pet name for the Princess. “Do you know where I could find Twilight? I’m kind of in a hurry right now.” The Sun Princess took a pause, trying to remember where she last saw Twilight. “Last I saw her, I believe she was helping Luna with her… speaking problem.”

Twilight had spent a fair share of her time since she moved to Canterlot teaching Princess Luna to speak more ‘modern’. It was funny, if not just a little sad, that after more than 30 years in Canterlot, Twilight was still trying to teach that pony to speak normally; and at a reasonable volume for that matter. “Thanks Princess! See you around!” Spike took off without waiting for a goodbye from the Sun Goddess.

Spike was eternally thankful he could still fit into the palace. It was the one place he didn’t feel so giant. Spike wandered the halls, until he heard a distinct, familiar voice. It was Twilight! Spike turned a corner towards the voice, and sure enough, there was Twilight walking side by side with Luna. Spike flew overhead of the two, the loud ‘woosh’ very evident to the two ponies. ‘Thank Celestia for these high ceilings!’ Spike thought, a huge grin on his face.

Both Twilight and Luna stood there, looking up at the dragon looming over them. A grin became stuck to Twilight’s face. “Surprise! Thought I’d drop in and see my favourite pony. And uh, hi Princess.”  Spike couldn’t help but beam looking at Twilight. Even in her old age, with a faded mane, wrinkled face and tired expression, Twilight still looked as full of life as she always had, at least in Spike’s eyes.

“Hello, Spike. So nice to see you.” Princess Luna said, looking over to Twilight, who in returned gave her a reassuring nod of the head at the proper sentence. “So Spike, what are you doing here?” Suddenly Spike remembered the whole reason he was had been trying to find Twilight in the first place. “Oh yeah! Twi, can I talk to you?” Spike looked over to Luna, who was grinning ear to ear at Spike, “Alone, please.”

Luna’s surprised expression told Spike she got the message. “Ah, say no more. I shall be off. Fare thee well, Twilight Sparkle.”  With that, Luna trotted off down the hall, leaving Twilight and Spike alone in the castle corridor. ‘Wow,’ Spike thought, ‘she really still talks like that.’ Shaking the thought away, Spike looked over to Twilight, who was still holding a weak smile looking at him.

“Twi, do you know where Rarity is? I need to talk to her.” Time seemed to stop at that moment for Spike, as Twilight’s happy expression faded into a deeply disturbed look. Spike was confused. What had he just said? Was Twilight mad at him? “Spike, I thought you knew.” This only confused the dragon further. “What do you mean, Twi? Is something the matter?”

Twilight looked like she was struggling to answer Spike. Her lips were quivering, and she avoided looking at Spike in favouring of staring into the velvet rug that stretched across the hall. “Spike, Rarity is… She’s gone Spike.” Spike couldn’t feel his heartbeat anymore. Everything really felt as though it were at a standstill.

Spike didn’t know what to do, so he went with instinct and flew out the castle doors as quickly as he could. ‘How could I have been so stupid! I had decades to do this, and now it’s too late! Stupid, stupid Spike!’ He tried to force back the tears as he flew, but the tears still managed to push their way passed his eyelids and down his cheek.

Once again, Twilight was right. Spike held onto his anger for too long, and now he paid the price. All that anger was washed away in a single moment, replaced by regret and self-hatred for having ever been so foolish. ‘I should have just listened to you Twi. I could have avoided all of this. But… But none of that matters anymore.’ Spike didn’t pay attention to where he was flying, he just wanted to get far, far away.

And so he did.

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