Well, that’s the truth in its entirety, every single action I took to get home. I know you are probably disappointed in me or upset that I lied to you all those years ago about what happened while I was away, but I think you can see why I did it.

Can you honestly say you wouldn’t have banished me to the moon or Tartarus itself had you known from the start? I think not. The fact of the matter is I am a monster and nothing on this planet can change that.

You may be asking, why come clean now? Was it out of some form of guilt for lying to you? Far from it, I do not regret any action I have taken in my life. The reason I am telling you exactly what has been in command of the Equestrian Defense Force for the last fifty years is because you deserve to know. Consider it me honoring you for all the years you have ruled this great nation of ours.

Equestria has prospered under your rule both before my time and after and I don’t see that stopping anytime soon. The difference now if our nation has a proper army to help keep it safe. I know the chances of the Feds actually showing up are slim and I know that back when I convinced you to let me build an army.

The fact is we destroyed the device and I personally saw to the death of the scientist responsible for building it so it was unlikely they would ever build another, plus with what whole civil war that they had no real way of winning the chance of them ever showing up in any shape to fight a foal much less an army are practically non-existent.

No the main reason I wanted an army was for protection of this county, from me.

I don’t remember where I read it or if it was my own theory but when the mind begins to deteriorate it can try to latch onto something to keep itself stable. In my case that was the training I was in the middle of at the time. The only thing holding me together is the fact I am a soldier. And you read what I did as one. Now imagine if all that without the military keeping me in check?

I knew what would happen and I could not risk it. I know what would happen if I lost the last shred of myself, you read what that was like and I have no regrets or feelings on what happened in the Federal Press building but I could not allow THAT to be let loose in Equestria because I don’t think there would be much anyone could do to stop it.

And yes, the Major was fully aware of what I was; she figured it out early on in her career as I underestimated her empathic abilities. The only reason she didn’t bring it to your attention was she was smart enough to know what I would do to her and the rest of her race to keep it from you.

Was that wrong? I don’t know. Probably. Maybe. No not really, she made the right call coming to me with it cause it allowed her to live and her goal is what’s best for her hive and me being forced to kill her and her hive is the opposite of that.

Also I know you probably don’t approve of the relationship I have with the Major but factor in she was the only person I could relax around and be my true self and not the mask I wore to keep you all safe. I know I am a hypocrite for having a rule against fraternization between soldiers but a mare has needs and with her shape shifting ability she was more than qualified to fill those needs. I can a sure you it was purely platonic and more of a friends with benefits sort of thing.

Beside without her around and knowing what I was I don’t know what would have happened when my parents died, then Shinning and my friends. Heh, guess even in this universe I am punished for being a monster by outliving everyone I care about except you and the Major.

You should really give her some sort of award by the way for having to deal with my grief stricken ass, she was fully aware she was risking her life in doing so but without her I don’t know what would have happened. Also she did help me deal with some of my issues, hell I don’t swap voiced nearly as often as I used to and my desire to skin the Noble’s alive and put then head son pikes along the castle wall only pops up when they are being particular annoying. Other than that most of my murderous intentions are dealt with by talking to the Major or a short trip into the ever free to find something to play with.

Anyways the point is I know death is coming for me, he’s been trying to get me for years now but I’ve out witted him and beaten him at every turn but there is no out running time. It is the only thing we all must face both soldier and civilian alike. Time does not care about us; it continues to march well after we are gone and will claim all in its path, the one enemy I cannot defeat.

Anyways in preparation for when death chooses to claim me I wrote this book for you, upon my death the Major will deliver to you personally and then assume her role as Commander of the EDF as she is the best person for the job do to having been with me through everything so knows how to run the thing properly.

Whether you choose to publish this book in its entirety and let history know exactly what’s been running the EDF, or publish a censored version or hell even toss it in the deepest and darkest hole you can find so it never sees the light of day and no one learns the truth is purely your choice as I am giving my story to you, to do with as you see fit and I know whatever you decide will be the right choice regardless of your reasons.

And don’t worry about upsetting me, I’ll be dead so what the fuck do I care?

Anyways the Major is here, seems it’s time to go to Rainbow’s funeral. Suppose I’ll see you there, I’ll be sure to say “Hi” and I promise to try not to kill anyone there, suppose you’ll know if I succeeded in keeping that promise better than I do now.

So….this is goodbye and I do hope you understand my reasoning Princess Celestia.

Author's Notes:

and here it is, the epilogue, the end of the story. the final words of this story.

I'm not sure why I decided to have the epilogue be from the Commander's POV of her writing the last page of a book but it felt appropriate to me and so here it is. Plus it let me cover a bit of what happens to the Commander.

hmm...suppose I should give the hint now, I should point out the sequel will be happening before the Epilogue as a lot can happen in 50 years.

also I am opening of the Equestria of the Commander's making to be used in other stories as I want to see what people do with it, if any one actually shows interest i'll post a blog that explains the changes to the world ad about the units so people know what to work with.

oh yeah I was supposed to do a hint wasn't I?

Hint: How would the Commander react to seeing what he life was supposed to be? and how would that life react to her?

odd, the story still says it's incomplete? you'd think after the Epilogue it would be over but I guess there is one more thing....