All Hail the Queen
by Meep the Changeling
Chapters
1 Chance
Muffin “Derpy” Mello - 10th of Solarus ‘15 EoH - Morning
I yawned and sat up, bed creaking under my weight as I lifted my head from the pillows. I’d had a wonderful dream last night, but it was nice to be back in my little home. Even with my dug out cave home feeling empty since Dinky moved out I still felt more at home here than anywhere I might dream of being.
I’d gone through a lot to reach Equestria, in my early life finding my homeland had been my big dream. After I found it, I’d never stopped being glad I’d succeeded.
Sure, I’d spent most of my time in Equestria raising a filly after a slightly too tipsy evening at a party. Sure he hadn’t wanted to be a father, so I’d raised her alone (because forcing him to legally would have only ensured my little Muffin had a bad father). I wouldn't trade any of the years Dinky’s fillyhood for anything else, I’d loved being an active mother! I totally understood everything my mom had said I’d understand after raising a child now.
Yes, I lived in a hole in the ground because nopony alive would dare issue me home owners insurance. But I loved my little earthen home! It wasn’t bad looking at all, or even grim. I’d spent years digging it carefully out, using the roots of the massive oak tree above it as supports for the ceiling, polishing the dirt walls to a shine (yes, you can polish dirt, and it looks super pretty!), building the spiral staircase that took you up the taproot to a hollow space under the trunk with a little door, putting in all the modern conveniences, and creature comforts… It was a great place!
It was also one of the few structures in Equestria I knew I wouldn’t be able to break accidently! That alone gave it extra points. Why Equestrians prefer to build buildings without steel structural supports was beyond me. Also I’d always preferred caves and burrows to surface structures. They feel more safe and cozy.
Almost as cozy as the pink, epicly-fluffy quilt White Lightning made for me! I was lucky to have made a good friend like her. It’s a bit hard to keep friends when you’re something of a disaster magnet.
Well… To be fair I am a klutz. I just get to excited about things and forget what I’m doing and suddenly that thing is broken or I forget something important… I’m not as bad as my reputation makes ponies think though.
The town hall’s support beams were made of a super splintery wood! It’s not my fault they snapped like twigs from a little accidental bump.
I smiled as I slid out of bed, stretching happily and shaking my rear legs to get the crampies out. Today was going to be a good day! While I was sad that so many ponies had died, and also that so many changelings were hurt and killed too, I did have to agree that it was a good thing Chrysalis was gone. Maybe a celebration should wait a bit longer than one week, but well, if Celestia wills it…
I wasn’t going to the nobles official ceremony thing. That just seemed like the most boring and mean thing in the world. All those ponies doing nothing more than analyzing and critiquing a poor young Queen? It’s enough to make your stomach turn.
No, I was going to the actual party later tonight. A Pinkie party! Nopony says no to a Pinkie party.
Sure, Dash would be there, and that would make things just a bit awkward if she got any level of drunk and forgot we broke up four years ago, but it would be a great place to try and meet new people. Maybe I could find somepony, or someone, to help with my next big life dream!
I’m a simple mare. I don’t need much to be happy. I liked my home, my little Muffin (Dinky), and living in my homeland. That was enough to keep me upbeat all day. Still, I’d always wanted a proper husband or wife. Someone to love, cuddle with, and do all the fun couple stuff. It was my second biggest dream, and it would make my mom happy to know I had a lover. Something she never had.
Still, I was a grown mare. One hundred and twenty five. Just about middleaged by Equestrian standards. I didn’t need a loved one to feel fulfilled. I’d already lead a great life alone, and an even better life with Dinky. I could go the rest of my life, however long it might end up being, without a lover. But I’d rather have one than not.
Shaking the last of my sleepies from my body I went about my normal morning routine. Brush mane. Preen wings. Floof tail. Brush fur to silky shine. Brush teeth to prevent Colegate lectures. Fetch a breakfast muffin, munch breakfast muffin, and reminisce while eating it by checking out my treasure cabinet.
They are the memento kind of treasures, not gold and jewels. Though they might as well be to me. They’re just things to remember my travels by.
A vest made from tiny silvery-white links of chain, nice and shiny-shimmery and also my favorite color (gold trim notwithstanding)! A bracelet made from a magically kept alive sprig of huckleberry (That treasure provided enough berries in a week to make a batch of muffins!). A small red synthetic crystal encased in a little glass ball with metal prongs on opposing ends (A trophy snatched from a broken hilt). A bottle of one of my favorite drinks, empty no cap, filled with blue sand that glowed in the dark (The first one I drank… and the only one I didn’t keep the cap form). A super worn leather covered electronic book, wording on the cover illegible due to a few mild burn marks (Don’t panic, it still works!).
Just the things this mare decided were worth keeping. You can’t fit too much in saddlebags after all!
Of course, there was also my mother’s book. That sat on the middle shelf in the center of the cabinet on a special carved wooden stand that held a quill and inkpot. The red leather book is probably my most precious possession, the only link I have left to my mother.
Unless I went to visit her. But I’d rather wait until I can bring somepony with me so she can meet her daughter and or son in law at the same time as her granddaughter. That would make her millennia!
I wonder if it would also make my biological mother’s day, year, or other measure of time? Oh well… It’s not like I’d managed to find her. Thank goodness that wasn’t my reason for traveling to Equestria in the first place! I’d have been crushed.
I shook my head and finished the last bite of my muffin, putting everything before the last thirty five years out of my mind. Stop being a silly filly Derpy! The mare that birthed you isn’t your mom, the one that raised you is.
Completely satisfied I quickly packed my saddlebags for the overnight trip. First and most important, my fluffy white beach towel. Towels, the most massively useful objects in the universe. Never leave home without one!
Next came six muffins (one lunch muffin, a dinner muffin, two snack muffins, and two ‘for friends’ muffins). My eye patch (It’s amazing how useful those are when one of your eyes likes to wander about). Then my hangover prevention charm necklace, a bag of bits to cover any damages that might be my fault, some juniper and mint perfume in case someone cute flirted with me, and my work in progress story’s notebook along with three pencils for passing time on the train rides.
There! Everything in place!
I used a wing to slip my saddlebags on as I checked the cuckoo clock above my bed. Five hours till noon! Prefect! I was still on time to go with White!
I trotted over to the center of the room, stopped at the base of the stairs and called, “Dinky! I’m about to go, are you coming… Oh… Heh…”
I sighed in sadness, loneliness, and embarrassment as I remembered she had her own home, job, and grown mare life now. Thirty one years just go by so fast! I wouldn’t have minded her living with me for a few of her adult years… Ah well, new adults like their freedom! Every parent knows that.
I quickly zipped up the stairs, passing through the second floor of my little dugout before entering the entryway and peeping through the window to make sure it wasn’t raining. Sure, there was a party scheduled for today, but sometimes a shifting weather pattern from outside Equestria means the Weather Teams need to make little changes to our tamed weather to prevent storms.
A quick peek through the little window showed the day was nice and sunny, with just enough clouds for pegasi to push together to make game fields or picnic spots on.
A perfect day! Just like almost every Equestrian day.
Not that I was complaining or anything. I just would get the biggest giggle-fit ever from watching my neighbors live for just one month outside of Equestria beneath the untamed skies.
I could also see Twilight’s palace, blocking my house's former view of the Everfree forest. It had taken a while, but most of Ponyville, myself included, had finally gotten used to the… unconventional looking building.
Ah ponyfeathers! I can’t sugar coat it. The hideous looking building.
I’d been a bit upset when her keep’s sublevels grew in and took out my own ‘basement’ ten years ago, but at least Twilight had payed for the damages. And also thank Celestia she’d put a nice coat of paint on the tree shaped portion of that monstrosity to make it look like an oak tree! That made the palace almost okay looking.
As I stepped outside I noticed White turn the corner around Twilight’s keep, and gave her a wave. The white and blue wavy maned pegasus gave me a wave back and an excited smile before quickly rushing over. “Hey! I don't have to drag you out of bed this time!” She laughed.
I blinked as she got within fifteen feet and I stopped seeing double images of her. I always get a bit confused as to exactly where distant objects are, so when the two images merge it can knock me for a loop if I’m paying attention to them.
I shook my head to clear it and then returned her smile, “Hi White! I made sure to go to bed early. It’s not every day Pinkie gets to throw a party using the Royal treasury.”
She nodded and tipped her head towards the train station, “So straight there or do we get breakfast first?”
“Oh…” I kicked a hoof nervously against the ground, hoping White wouldn’t be upset with me, “I just had breakfast…”
White put on a blank expression, “Derpy, when are you going to learn I’m not going to be upset with you over silly things?”
I gave her an embarrassed shrug in response.
“Train it is then. Do you know if Dinky’s going?” White asked starting to walk down the street.
I quickly caught up and fell into step alongside her. “No, she said she wants to go to the party here instead. It will be just us old mares tonight!”
White winced, “Hey, I’m only eighty! Sheesh. Give me another century before throwing the o-word around.”
I giggled, “Sorry.”
“We’re not all middle aged, Miss-Somehow-Looks-Fifty!” White teased. “You need to tell me how you keep that good looking some day.”
“Good genes, my mom’s loving upbringing, and magic.” I answered truthfully, like I always did.
“I call ponyfeathers! It’s those glowy sodas you drink all the time, isn’t it?” White asked in a fake-super-serious tone. “No but seriously, When I turn a hundred, please give me the name of your beauty product supplier.”
I shook my head and just gave her a grin, “Growing old is nothing scary.”
“Says you!” White protested, “I’d rather stay quick and flexible and able to remain in active duty long enough to hit Commander. Retirement benefits are horrible till Commander.”
“Really? I thought Wonderbolts had good pay.” I exclaimed in surprise, then eeped and ducked out of the way of a lamppost I swore had been a foot to my right.
“Yeah, we do. Great hazard pay too, not that I ever earned any till last week…” White stopped talking for a few moments, taking a deep breath, before resuming, “But no, our retirement benefits are half wages till Commander. I’d like to not have to move to a smaller home.”
I nodded, “That makes sense… I’m glad you weren't hurt by the way.”
White scratched the back of her head and grimaced, “I was actually… Fortunately the Lifegiver stuck my wing back on… Can we talk about absolutely anything else please?”
“S-sorry…” I said quickly trying to think of a new subject, “Oh! Um, did you-”
The resounding whap as I ran shoulder first into a merchant's stall echoed off the walls of the nearby shops.
“Darn it Derpy…” The short brown stallion tending the stall grumbled, walking out from behind it to straighten the produce.
“Sorry.” I apologized.
“‘t’s alright.” He grunted, “Just go about your… whatever.”
“Oh here’s one,” White said as we resumed walking, “You’re not half bad when you cover an eye. We could enter the Harvest Games together this year. Sure, Dash will take first, but we can go for second!”
I giggled, “I swear one day somepony’s going to make a first place trophy for Dash, and then a second first place trophy for whomever finishes just after her. They need to make a new class of fliers for ponies in her range.”
“Yeah… Heck, even I can hit supersonic on a good day but sheesh… What’s her top speed these days? Mach eight?” White asked rhetorically.
“It’s actually twenty two point six…” I answered despite the rhetorical nature of the question. Because White was wrong. Dash was faster than that.
White’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head, “You’re kidding!?”
“Nope.” I said shaking my head, “I asked to see how fast she could fly while we were still dating.”
“So her even being visible while moving is her literally playing with foals boots on?” White grumbled, “What the hay is she even competing for? It’s not like anypony can possibly beat her!”
My ears drooped, I hated talking bad about ponies. Especially ones who were still my friends. I could have told White that Dash and I broke up because I couldn't stand her obsessive need to always feel better than everypony else at anything related to flight… But… I couldn’t. Dash had plenty of niceness to balance that character flaw, just not quite enough for my tastes in a loved one.
“Dash… just works like that.” I said after mulling over the best choice of words.
We rounded the corner and entered the town square. Well, I guess I should say city square. Ponyville has grown a lot in the last few years, we definitely have enough people living here to count as a small city now. Princess Twilight living here meant Ponyville could only grow in size, influence, and population after all.
Fortunately Twilight refused to lift the Historical Architecture Preservation Act, so all the new buildings were built to match the lovely Renaissance style! Even the city wall matched the architectural style despite having the latest in arcane protections. It would be nice if we didn’t need that wall though.
Stupid Everfree forest. Getting more dangerous for no apparent reason… I should get to the bottom of that mystery one day. It wouldn’t be any more dangerous than my journey to find Equestria.
“Hey, Derpy,” White called, “step left.”
I eepd and stepped left, narrowly avoiding walking right into a bright orange stallion’s plot. The town square was really packed! I didn’t have time to think about things, I was going to have to watch out for ponies and festival decorations… Most of them looked pretty expensive.
The spoked-wheel-like arrangement of Ponyville’s streets all merged into this single plaza. Making it the logical place to hold parties and events since it had all the space and every street led here. But that meant it was a nightmare to cross for a pony like me during those events.
White gently grabbed my hoof, “Come on, it’s less crowded in front of Sugarcube Corner.”
“Thanks.” I said as she led me through the thick crowd.
“No problem… I’m sorry you got ripped off with that surgery.” White said sadly.
“I’m not! It’s nice being able to focus properly for fifteen feet or so. Way better than just a few hoof widths!” I paused for a moment, “I could put on my eyepatch if you don't want to lead me around.”
“Nah it’s okay! We’re almost there.” White said as she pulled me into a much less densely packed section of the cobbled plaza.
“Oh. Yes. Much better.” I sighed happily.
My double vision was a bit worse than usual thanks to my mini panic of trying not to break anything. No problem, I had a fix for that. I took a quick look around to try and get my eyes to focus up again. Switching between looking at distant and close objects usually did the trick!
I flicked my eyes between the cobblestones in front of me and the door to Sugarcube Corner.
Back and forth. Forth and back. back and- Hey, why did we say back and forth? That didn’t make much sense. Back and a fraction representing twentyfive percent. That’s what we’re actually saying when we use that phra-
“Oh my gosh! Look at her!” I gasped, train of thought derailing completely as I noticed a completely white earth pony mare walk up to the Sugarcube’s door.
Ponies with the same mane, tail, and fur color are super duper rare, and most other ponies think they look weird. I don’t I usually find them cute. But not this mare, she was beautiful! Her fur was true white along her back, and faded to a lovely ghost white as it ran down her legs. Her mane and tail also had a soft gradient to them a soft snow at her mane and tail’s tips, flowing into an ivory at their roots.
On top of the lovely color fading, her fur shone faintly, she must have just shampooed it with something fancy! Her mane and tail had a similar effect only a bit opaly, giving them a very very faint prismatic sheen. Her shiny whiteness made her actually black (not just dark dark gray) eyes look like jet stones set into platinum.
White looked over in the direction I was pointing and nodded to herself, “Huh, that’s a rare color.”
“She’s so pretty…” I whispered softly, doing my best to hide a blush by looking up.
My lazy eye swiveled to focus on the shiny mare. Noticing her silver shield and gold aura cutie mark I immediately wondered what her talent was, earth ponies didn’t normally have marks with a magic aura on them.
White grinned as she noticed me looking of into space, “That’s right! You like monochromes. Go on then, say hi! She won’t bite, and I don’t mind.”
“Oh, no nono!” I protested, “I mean… I don’t even know her. She might be straight and-”
White gave me that blank look of hers again. “Derpy. Has anypony ever been offended by you asking them out, just because they happened to be straight?”
I returned her blank look, “Yes. You.”
“I was drunk and grumpy!” White protested. “But nopony besides me, right?”
“Well… No.” I was forced to admit.
White walked behind me and gave me a gentle push, “Go on! Say hi! Heck, ask her to the party. Maybe I’ll get lucky and you won’t have to complain about not having a girlfriend when we run out of things to talk about.”
“D-do I do that a lot?” I asked trying to change the topic.
“Yes. Literally every time there’s nothing left to talk about.” White said giving me another push, “Go on! Talk to her. You’ll miss a chance to date somepony you find hot! Everypony’s biggest regret is always ‘I didn’t ask Jet Set to prom’. You can avoid that!”
“But what if she looks great but is just… mean or something?” I asked, hooves scraping on the cobbles as White pushed me.
“For Celestia’s sake…” White groaned, “If she agrees to go to the party with you wink at me, I’ll follow all stealthy and hang nearby at the party in case you need an out. Then we just hang out all night like planned.”
“That will never wo-” I stopped mid sentence after remembering who got me my first date with Dash. “Oh… right.”
“Ah ha! You stopped protesting. Go on, she’s going to be gone soon! Don’t miss out!” White encouraged giving me a last little push.
I gulped, accepted the mission suddenly thrust upon me, took a deep, nervous breath and trotted forwards.
Come on Derpy. You can do it… Don’t get super distracted and run into her… Don’t run off in panic… Don’t sneeze…
I almost giggled aloud as I noticed her mane was bound up in a ponytail! It was funny because she’s a pon-
“Oh my god… they won. They won!” The gorgeous mare exclaimed, suddenly bursting into delighted laughter, making me pause worriedly.
Quickly pushing my worry aside, I decided to tap her on the shoulder to get her attention, and stepped forward.
The mare quickly turned around, smiling brightly. My eyes widened as I realized I was going to plow int-
“Oof! Sorry!” I blurted the second I thumped into her eerily soft face and barrel.
Luna’s moon! I plowed right into her! No!
I felt my nervous-awkward levels hit maximum! I switched to a sort of ‘autopilot’, not really thinking about anything, just responding to whatever was being said. Not the best habit, and it always makes me look like some braindead oaf, but it’s what social pressure does to me at critical levels.
We exchanged small talk for a few eternities, during which my confidence slowly began to creep back to me. Slowly, but surely, confidence built back up, and she kept talking to me! Yay maybe I could get back to normal non-nervous talking and ask her out prop-
“Oh, uh, um… I know this is silly but, I was about to go to Canterlot for the victory party. Would you like to go with me?” I stammered.
Nope.
Darn it…
I watched in mild horror as the mare seemed to have a very sever internal debate with herself. Her lips pursed, eyes looked up and to the right… Oh gods no! She was putting in serious thought! She probably didn’t like me much but maybe thought I would be fun to spend the evening with in bed!
I didn’t ever do that sort of thing on a first date! Please don’t be just another funseeking filly! You’re too beautiful for that!
I looked down sadly, she was thinking too long… That meant no. I started to turn around, ears beginning to droop and-
“Well, it’s only silly because I don’t even know your name.” The mare said sincerely.
Oh my Celestia! The hot mare was giving me a chance! Yay!
I turned around with a little hop in my excitement and blurted, “Oh! Hehe! Right! Sorry! My name’s Muffins, but everypony calls me Derpy… It’s okay, I’ve grown to like it.”
“Derpy? Why?” She asked tilting her head curiously.
“I’m a klutz.” I admitted shyly. “A bad one.”
She shook her head and gave me a little grin, the sort that said ‘I can totally tell, but it’s okay.’
“I see… I’m Dusk. Nice to meet you Derpy.” The greeted.
“So um, you do want to go to the party with me?” I asked
“Sure, I’d love to.” Dusk answered, then nodded in the direction of the the train station, “I assume we’re taking the train?”
I nod-nodded in an attempt to prevent my face exploding from grin overload.“Y-yeah!” I informed, than mentally winced realizing I didn’t know for sure if this was a date, a hook up, or just a ‘Hey sis, let’s go to this party!’ thing. “Oh, um… You’re coming as like, a date, right? Not just as friends?”
“Eh…” Dusk dismissed waving a hoof in a so-so gesture, “I do think you’re cute, and I do like mares, but I generally prefer to know somepony before I date them. Because that's a thing I've done before. How about we call this a ‘date prologue’? We go to the party, I check to see if some of my friends made it out alive, we hang out, and then if we like each other, we go out on a real date. Sound good?”
Oh my gosh she totally wasn't just thinking about a hook up! Yay!
“Yes!” I squawked, then blushed and nodded, “I uh, mean, yes. … S-sorry I normally don’t ask strangers out… I just um… You’re white! Like, all white. But with all different kinds of white fading into each other! It’s very very pretty.”
I figured it would be best to start this off with the truth. Hopefully she was a great pony to hang out with too. But I felt I needed to tell her that I’d asked because she was pretty… Was that a normal thing to do? Do ponies just do that?
“Come on, let’s go to the party.” She said as she started to trot off.
While Dusk’s back was turned I quickly looked for White, spotted her nearby looking on while giving me silent cheerleader pom-pom motions with her hooves.
I gave White my biggest thank you grin, did a little happy-dance and ran to catch up with Dusk. (Odd name for a white pony.) We had the whole train ride for me to work out if I liked her or not. That would be fun!
Realizing that I had to start a first pseudo-date properly, I reached into my saddlebag for a spare muffin and held it out to her, “Muffin?”
If she refused the muffin, this ended here and now.
She took the muffin. She ate the muffin. I could tell from her pupils dilating that she could taste all of the exotic flavors I packed into my muffins.
The first checkbox had been ticked. I could date this mare! Hopefully by the time the party started I’d know everything else I needed.
“Derpy,” Dusk said after finishing the Muffin, “I have a feeling this is the start of a beautiful friendship.”
“J-just a friendship?” I asked, ears drooping sadly.
She shook her head, making her pony tail flip-floop adorably. “No silly! That’s a quote from a story. But hey, at minimum, you’ve made a new best friend. Because those muffins are amazing.”
“Oh! Hehe! Sorry.” I apologized, “I uh… I get rejected a lot. Anyways! Muffins! I use an old family recipe my great great great great great grandmother’s aunt invented. It’s hard to get a few of the ingredients today, but if you go to the market on the right days-”
I am fairly certain I spent the entire train ride to Canterlot babbling about muffins… To my amazement instead of seeing that I was so nervous that I was stuck on the one topic, Dusk actually listened. The entire time. She just sat there and listened like someone with all the time in the universe and a genuine interest in what I had to say, silly as it was.
As the train pulled into the station, I knew that she had been right. At the very least, this was going to be the start to a beautiful friendship.
2 Crash Course: Politics
Jade - 10th of Solarus ‘15 EoH - Noon
The past week had been a nightmare! Celestia had to be crazy to want to throw a victory celebration only a few days after the victory. Well, maybe not, but she certainly had to be crazy if she expected me to know all of the things I’d need to in order to make a good first impression on anypony important!
Thank goodness Twilight was there to help me out with some of the most intensive schooling I’d ever had, but with such a short amount of time it almost didn’t matter, it was hard to keep much of it straight. It didn’t help that Equestrian politics are only describable as Labyrinthine. A word I only know because Twilight warned me, “Okay, this will be a little Labyrinthine.”
The confusion begins when you learn that the Kingdom of Equestria isn’t a Kingdom, it’s a 'Kingdom of Kingdoms'. That is to say a bunch of smaller neighboring kingdoms, all of whom recognize the ultimate authority of the Equestrian Crown, which is a political entity held by all living Alicorns. This makes it an Empire, but apparently Celestia just docen't like using that word so it's a Kingdom. Must be nice to get to abuse language like that.
The Crown is best described as a Guild, where each member has certain duties, but also vote on courses of action which involve the Kingdom as a whole instead of just a local Duchy. A Duchy in Equestria being a proper kingdom of it’s own, with it’s own laws (that don’t conflict with laws established by the Crown), and ruled over by a Duke or Dutchess, which in Equestria are indistinguishable from a normal King or Queen, except they have to follow orders and laws established by the Crown.
Unless those orders or laws are causing undo harm to Equestrian citizens, in which case the Duke or Duchess can ignore the order or law and take the matter up with the Lunar or Solar court, which while independent from the crown are run by Celestia and Luna respectively. Which seems rather unfair until you realize it’s a way to appeal the Crown’s decision using the due process of established laws.
The Courts are allowed to make exceptions to the Crown's policy and require agreement between one of the two Royal Sisters and a small Council of Judges unique to each court. The Council can overrule one of the Sisters for a gross violation of law through a vote… Which is, in and of itself, an entirely different rabbithole.
Suffice to say that Courts work using the existing laws to determine if the Crown’s orders are legal given a particular… something. I forget.
That’s just the most basic jist of the complexity that was being forced upon me. My whole head was stuffed full of stupid rituals and expectations which were the product of four thousand years of tradition. I honestly don’t know how the hay Twilight was able to keep on top of it all!
“Hey, Jade? Are you okay?” Twilight asked snapping my attention away from the whirlpool of politics my mind had been sinking into.
“No!” I moaned, flopping down onto the table in the guest room I’d been given in the Canterlot Palace for the about to start formal victory celebration. “I’m never going to remember anything! All of your political traditions are crazy!”
“I understand it’s a bit overwhelming at first…” Twilight comforted, “But once you get the hang of it, the system works! We’ve been stable for four thousand years so far, that’s longer than any other nation. It takes a complex political machine to keep a nation working this smoothly, but it is a machine, and as a machine it can be used to get what you need out of it… It just takes time, effort, and knowledge.”
I sighed into the wood grain of the table. “Why can’t the Crown just give me some land someplace again?”
“It can.” Twilight said instantly.
“What?” I demanded head snapping up, “Then why all of this?”
“You can be granted land by the Crown, with no problems. Up to about 16 hectares,” Twilight informed, “Just enough for a small manor house and a small farming hamlet. You get it by being knighted and the land returns to the Crown after your death. That’s the only type of land the Crown can give away legally for any reason it likes, without any sort of special arrangement or legal prerequisites.
“You want to rebuild your hive, that will take more than a square half kilometer of land. Especially since legally each changeling Hive is counted an independent nation. What you are really trying to do Jade is get one nation to give territory to another nation. It’s more than just space, it’s legal authority over that area. Meaning you get the physical space, the natural resources in that space, and the people living there if any. You’re very lucky in that we have a legal process for this at all!”
I sighed, sitting back up slowly “I guess… But couldn’t you just knight me like a few hundred times and stick all of the land grant’s together?”
Twilight giggled and gave me a smile, “No… After four thousand years you would be lucky to get two contiguous plots of any of those reserved areas… Your land is going to have to come from an existing Barony. So you know, you’ll need to look posed, dignified, and well.. like a leader. You need at least one Baron or Baroness to come to your side eventually and agree to give up some of their holdings.”
“I’m going to have to make some sort of business deal with them then, aren't I?” I asked with a weary sigh.
Twilight nodded, “Definitely. They won't do it if they don't think they will get something out of it, and they won't think you can offer them anything if you don’t seem like a strong leader. Hence, you need to keep your head on your shoulders out there tonight.”
“And there is absolutely no other way than to memorize all of this chaos?” I lamented giving Twilight a pleading stare.
“Sure,” She said making my hearts swell with hope, “There’s also Bigger-Pile-of-Money-Diplomacy and Bigger-Army-Diplomacy, but unfortunately you don’t have anything to just buy land with, and you don’t have the military power to take any or get it via threats. So it’s going to have to be the normal Diplomacy, which is long, hard, and yes, confusing.”
I think that hopeful feeling turned out to be gas.
“But it’s just a singular hive! The Emerald and Ruby hives already exist within Equestria!” I protested.
Twilight nodded, doing her best to put up with my frustration. I felt a bit bad for making her deal with it as she explained the answers to me.
“True, but first of all, the Rubies have their land under tempore quo non extat memoria. They have had their hive there for longer than Equestria has existed, well, modern Equestria at least. The Crown conquered those lands about three thousand years ago, and when they did, found the Ruby Hive and agreed to leave them as an independent city state in return for a permanent alliance.
“Second, the Emeralds have land nopony wants, it’s in the badlands, you can’t grow anything there, and there is nothing of value… Aside from the fortress the Emeralds occupy which has proven to be too costly to take by force and they won’t give it up. In short, no one cared to remove them, so they got the independent city-state treatment as well.”
“Oh… I guess that makes sense.” I lamented. Then suddenly my ears perked up as I remembered another example of non-Equestrians living in Equestria!
“What about the Gaians?” I asked smugly, “They get to live here and they have only been here for eight years, right?”
“Well… That’s actually a pretty complicated and full of asterisks issue so… Let’s not get distracted.” Twilight admitted sheepishly. “In short, they are not independent. They actually went through immigration and are technically Equestrian Citizens with a town within the Crown's own lands because it’s on a wildlife preserve meaning it already has very strict laws it has to abide by to exist there. But since they can’t breathe our atmosphere, they have a special biological need that normal Equestrian law can’t provide for, so their settlement is treated like it’s own Barony under the Sapient Creature Needs Act, but it’s not really one…
“Then on top of all that, they have technically been there since before recorded history, because they were frozen. So technically tempore quo non extat memoria also applies to them, and therefore at any time they could just declare independence and we would have to let them go peacefully. But until they do, due to their settlements age, there are certain rights and privileges the law affords them...” Twilight rambled giving me a sorry grin, “See what I mean? I have all the legal books memorized and even I don’t know exactly what the Gaian Commune is in terms of the law. Heck, professional lawyers who deal with laws even more than I do as part of the Crown don’t know either!”
“Oh.” Is all I could manage to say.
“Yeah…” Twilight sighed sympathetically, “Ah yes, and before you ask, no you’re not going to be able to get lands using the Crown Colony Act. After Nightmare Moon was banished, enraged Luna supporters caused a minor civil war and attempted to secede from Equestria. They failed, and since they insisted the Crown Colony Act was what gave them the right to secede, and were technically correct, it was abolished. So no, we can’t just grab uninhabited land outside of our current borders and give it to you. Yes, even though some Crown Colonies still exist.”
“I didn’t even know those Colony things were a thing.” I admitted sheepishly, “Did you mention them before? Lessons are blurring together…”
Twilight nodded, “I did. Short refresher, Crown Colonies are basically other nations that treat the Crown the same way Baronies treat the Crown. The ones that still exist are the Crystal Empire, Eagleland, and Drake. They are more independent than Baronies, but get less from National Harmony Policies than Equestria Proper. Remember?”
It started to come back to me. Displacing formal greetings and courtly phrases as it returned. Yay…
“Yes, a little. So… the only way to do this is the hard way. Can you explain one more time, exactly what is going on today?” I asked, desperately needing the refresher.
Twilight frowned and checked a clock on the wall, “We have three minutes… Please pay close attention. I understand that you’re overwhelmed but now it’s show time, okay?”
I nodded, doing my best to compose myself. “Okay.”
“We go into the Grand Hall. You take a seat to the left of the Crown members. Celestia makes a speech informing the gathered nobles of things they largely already know but gets them all up to speed and on the same page. Then Barons with any grievances about how the battle has and or will influence the future of their lands will make their own speeches.
“After that, the nobility mingles at a sort of super formal buffet where everypony will take stock of you as a new entrant into the Equestrian political arena. That’s when you need to be on top of your game. Especially because you're the first non-hostile changeling Queen any of them will have met. That’s a big deal! Especially since you’re a proper queen and not what ponies are already calling ‘proto-queens’.” Twilight informed, again.
“Wait, I’m the first?” I asked, completely baffled, “How?”
“The Ruby’s Queen is an agoraphobe, she's never left her hive. Ever.” Twilight answered quickly as she took a second look at the clock, “The Emeralds have genetic issues and can’t produce a Queen at all.”
“But, there’s a Queen in Luna’s knights!” I protested, bringing up the changeling I had met three days ago, “What’s her name.. Uh-”
Twilight giggled, “Meep’s a Queen in biology only. Also, officially, there is no changeling member of Luna’s knights.”
What the bucking hell? I sputtered in a confused anger, “But! I… I literally was introduced-”
“Jade, calm down.” Twilight sighed, standing up and walking over to the closet to retrieve a pair of formal gowns. “While the nobility is aware that there is a changeling Queen living in Ponyville, they are also aware that she has no intention of starting a hive, and is living as a regular citizen. As far as they know, the sixth member of the Knights of the Rampant Moon is a unicorn mare named Twinkleshine… The fact that she’s a changeling is classified.”
“Then why was I even told that?” I asked, reality itself starting to fail to make any sense at all.
“Because… well…” Twilight shook her head, “Again, I personally disagree with the idea, but Celestia and Luna want to foster an open book relationship with you and your hive in terms of international relations. Cadance agreed with them, so the Crown's decision stands… The idea is to be completely transparent to you because they think you’re a reincarnated Clover the Clever.”
“Am I?” I asked curiously, thankful for a non-politics topic, “I mean, I am descended from her, and I can sometimes remember things she knew-”
“You’re not.” Twilight said waving a hoof dismissively, “Trust me. I invented the method to actually prove whether a consciousness is reincarnated or not. While I did prove that reincarnation is a real phenomenon, you have none of the signs… But Celestia and Luna are old, take a while to accept changes, and well, Clover was one of their greatest friends for a very long time… So, they sort of want you to be her.”
I let out a relieved sigh. “Oh thank the sun! I don’t have to try to live up to her reputation.”
The sheer amount of things credited to Clover in Equestrian history books was staggering. And I’d only had an afternoon's worth of reading on that topic so far!
Twilight giggled, “That would be pretty hard. Seeing as how many scholars argue there wouldn’t be an Equestria without her.”
“Hold on a minute,” I said as slow realization began to dawn on me, “if they think I’m Clover, why not try to make my hive a part of Equestria? I wouldn’t mind that at all… Why this whole, own nation thing?”
Twilight gave me a smile, “If only everypony were logical thinkers… There’s no conspiracy there, it’s just that we would need to change laws to do that, and we can't because they are international ones. Changeling hives are internationally regarded as Sovereign Territories. Get it?”
I put on my best pouty face, “But… It’s going to be so much work to do all of this!”
“Well, yes,” Twilight agreed, “but it’s still a hoop we need to jump through to make sure your hive does not go extinct… You’re also, you know, the first of your species in four thousand years to not be a proto-queen! Anyways, tomorrow, would you mind helping me try to read Clover’s Spellbook? There are a few spells which scramble vital components of the pages, and the thing is so heavily warded that I’d rather see if you have any memory of the ways around the protections before stripping them away or forcing them open myself.”
“Oh. Sure, I can do that.” I agreed.
“Good! The sooner I can see how that terraforming spell works, the sooner I can see if it could help tame the Everfree.” Twilight said mostly to herself.
The next few minutes were a jumbled mess of last minute tips on posture, pronunciation, and all manner of formalities, as Twilight helped me into a simple black dress. It wasn’t fancy, but apparently a more sleek look would ‘promote an image of power and grace’ according to Rarity, who I believed was Twilight’s seamstress.
Once the dress was correctly on, and making me actively hate the concept of clothing due to it feeling super weird against literally every part of me it covered, Twilight began to lead me to the hall where the speech would be held.
Half way down the marble walled, red carpeted hallway, Twilight suddenly asked. “You haven’t known me long, but can you link to me telepathically?”
I gently reached out, finding’ Twilight’s mind was detectable, but not yet a thing I could link to. “No, why?”
“Would you mind if I used a spell to link us for a few hours? So I can silently answer questions you have?” Twilight asked.
“Why the buck are you even asking?” I demanded, eye twitching slightly, “That would only be massively helpful!”
Twilight gave me a weak grin, “I just now thought about it… Also mind your language, most Barons see cursing as a lower class thing.
Twilight’s horn glowed simply for a few moments, then I slowly felt her link to my mind. Very crudely. Much like the first link a Nymph will make.
<This is pretty crude… can you even hear me?> I asked silently as we neared the doors.
<Yes. I also can see what you see.> Twilight replied. <But not well… What makes this a crude link?>
<I can explain later… This feels like talking to a very young Nymph… It’s weird because I know you're an adult…> I said shuddering a little, <It’s kinda creepy…>
<I can cut the link if you want.> Twilight offered apologetically as she opened the doors to the hall.
Two golden armored guards on either side of the doors inside the hall looked at us as we passed.
<No! I’ll want to ask questions. But we should improve your spell! Are you even seeing what I am in color?>
<Wait, you can transmit color images?> Twilight asked in surprise.
<Uh… yeah. We can go over this lat->
“Announcing her Highnesses, Princess Twilight Sparkle and Queen Jade of Diamonds!” One of the two guards shouted as we stepped into the huge room.
It truly was a huge room. It was like one massive upside down acorn, with big columns supporting the huge pointy domed roof. The entire room was in the same white marble and gold inlay theme as the rest of the palace, but this room’s floors were a herringbone pattern made of light and dark wood. The floors were covered in benches, stacked on sloping platforms so every seat could see over the one in front of it, with a stage containing some chairs and four thrones positioned in front of a huge tapestry of the Equestrian flag.
It looked like a giant meeting hall, only super fancy.
It also completely full! There were at least a hundred people packed into the bench seating. There were ponies of all tribes, unicorn, earth, pegasus, bat. There were three Drakes that I could see. There were a few Sphynx, and-
I felt my hearts skip a beat.
<Griffons!> I yelped fearfully, fortunately through the link and not vocally.
<Uh yeah, Barron Brightwings, current ruler of the Barony of Griffonstone and his entourage.> Twilight informed. <Why are you affra- Oh! I’m so sorry! I forgot about… I should have prepared you!>
<Yes!> I agreed, hearts pounding, <You should have!>
We slowly made our way to the stage-like portion, Twilight sitting on the throne matching her colors, and myself in an empty chair next to a large earth pony stallion, and a pale minty white pegasus mare.
I’d had just enough time to realize the griffon wasn’t paying me any attention and start to calm down when Twilight started talking to me again.
<Okay,> she said, <See the black scaled Drake in the back? He has the small curved horns and the orange wing membranes?>
I looked out over the crowd, spying a calculating looking Drake of that description in the front row almost instantly. I’d never heard of his species before arriving in Equestria. Apparently they were the same species as Dragons, which could mature into one of two things depending on if they could amass a large enough hoard or not.
<Yes.> I answered.
<That’s Duke Gru.> Twilight informed helpfully, <He rules the Duchy of Dressage, most notable for having Los Pegasus in it. You can basically ignore him. He was adopted, and the current nobles look down on that. He has a reputation as a hard flank, because he’s worked very hard to never appear weak to compensate for his circumstances of birth.>
<So he won't ever give up any land.> I stated.
<Yep.> Twilight answered. <Now a good candidate, is the light peach mare with the faded sky blue mane. She’s in the back row. Unicorn. A few flaming sparks for a cutiemark. Do you see her?>
I looked for a few seconds before spotting the mare in question. She was busily writing something on a scroll draped over a few books. She has a sort of uncaring look to her, as if the world around her was just a play.
<I see her, who's she?> I asked.
<Duchess Little Light,> Twilight answered, <She’s in charge of the Duchy of Hayloft, which is very rich since Manehattan is it’s capitol. She can afford to give up some land and is generally very pro-refugee.>
<That sounds like a good place to start then!> I said excitedly.
Twilight started to reply, but her thoughts were cut off as Celestia stood from her throne and with a quick spell, conjured a ball of golden light at the tip of her horn. After a few seconds of the bright golden light shining on stage, everypony in the audience quieted down and turned attentively if not enthusiastically to face the stage.
Celestia paused for a few more moments, dismissed her light orb, and then began to speak, “The Crown hereby officially addresses the gathered Rulers of the Kingdom of Equestria. Be it known that upon the fifth day of Solarus in this, the fifteenth year of the Era of Harmony and the five thousand one hundred and ninety third year of recorded history, the Kingdom of Equestria has defeated the last remaining Changeling Swarm in pitched combat, and slain the last of the Old Queens.
“Due to these events, the Changeling Crusades can at last be marked as a closed chapter in history. While in recent times our nation has only faced a single minor incursion by a changeling swarm due to the modern Hives being most Harmonious, earlier Crusades were a dark chapter in our nation’s history. Should Chrysalis’s Swarm been allowed to continue existing within our world, the present generation of Equestrians would have come to know the terror experienced by their ancestors on a monthly basis.
“This is a great victory for Equestria, it is not often we get to put the past truly to bed. With the danger to Equestria now fully behind us, a time of celebration is in order. Most importantly, we must also seek to change our nation’s policies on Changelings as a whole. There is no longer a risk of their kind being controlled by an ancient and evil force, and so the Crown will revisit restrictive rulings placed upon them with the intent to ensure our Changeling citizens have the same rights and privileges as any other species, as there is no longer a justifiable reason to restrict them in any way they have been throughout the Baronies.
“Additionally, pending a vote by the Barons of the Kingdom, the Crown would like to invite surviving hives to relocate and join our Kingdom, as changelings are quite the labor force and now far safer to deal with. As a show of good faith to the changeling species, the Crown has agreed to provide Queen Jade of Diamonds with all due assistance in restoring her hive to a working state in thanks for her assistance in Chrysalis’s demise.
“The Crown will now open the floor for statements by General Luna Solarus, the commanding officer in charge of the military operations in question.”
Celestia sat down as Luna rose. She walked to the edge of the stage and paused for a moment, clearly looking for words to use before eventually settling on blunt ones.
“Our soldiers fought well. Many gave their lives for our Kingdom’s safety, a tragedy which will be remembered for generations. Our official count lists eighty four thousand five hundred and three dead. All wounded troops have been healed to their fullest possibly state, and there was no desertion. However, there were many more casualties than the aforementioned eighty four thousand, but these were of other nations. Our thanks must be given to the nations of Zebrica, Prance, Neighpone, and Marealand.
“We can confirm the enemy's losses at ninety-nine point nine-two percent of their starting forces. The remaining twentyfour hundred changelings are currently being held prisoner at various installations… It’s of military note that they have not died as Swarm members normally do, but are slowly regaining individuality. It may become an issue for the law if they fully recover, as well as a matter of National Security.”
My eyes opened wide as Luna told everyone about the survivors. Nopony had said anything about them to me before now! They were mind slaved, that meant they hadn’t done any real crime! Someone had to do something… Maybe I could get Luna to free them she was nice after all.
“With the military operation over,” Luna continued, “I have released all of the wartime forces back to their homes. However, due to the aforementioned survivors I hereby order all military forces providing Barons and Baronesses to keep their troops in combat readyness until given further orders.
“The General now returns the floor to the Crown.”
Celestia nodded and stood up to announce, “The floor is now open to any Ruler who wishes to speak on this matter before the Kingdom.” Then sat back down.
After a few moments of silence during which everyone in the audience eyed one another, searching for any sign of anyone who might speak, Duke Gru stood up and walked onto the stage.
His talons clicked on the wooden floor as he walked, keeping a powerful and renowned air in his every movement as he took the stage. He began to speak, voice, low, rumbling, and honestly very intimidating.
“I, Duke Gru Ebony, Ruler of the Duchy of Dressage, would speak on this matter.” He began.
He took a moment to stare the audience down then continued, “While it is always good to remove a threat to our Kingdom, I have to wonder about the nature of this attack. As we are all aware, our military mobilized after the Crown received intelligence on the pending entrance of the Swarm into our territory. This would be all fine and good, but the only reason the Swarm headed our way at all when it did, was Queen Jade.
“While her actions were not malicious, and she did not intend to inflict the Swarm upon Equestria, she none the less could have chosen any other place to flee to. This puts the loss of many young Equestrians partially upon her head. I say this not to simply cast blame, for I happen to know she is a young ruler and thus quite inexperienced, but to question the actions of the Crown in handling this matter.
“As the Swarm sought Queen Jade, were the Crown to have assisted her in hiding for a time, perhaps a period of months, a more potent force could have been mustered, with more international assistance. For instance, Drake and Eageland could have mobilized their militaries to render assistance, actions which would greatly have reduced the death toll for all involved.
“A death toll which weighs more heavily upon my Barony than any other. Roughly a third of all casualties were my people. This battle has cost Dressage greatly. The economic impact of losing twenty seven thousand ponies, griffons, and Drakes has not yet been calculated, but it will be more than noticeable, I assure you.
“It is my official opinion that the Crowns personal history with Changeling Swarms resulted in their hasty action. This, combined with poor tactical planning on General Luna’s part has cost our nation a great deal. I will take this opportunity to recommend the Crown remove the General from command until she has caught up on the last thousand years of strategic and tactical developments. I wish my fellow Rulers felt the same as I on this issue and our armies have a truly excellent leader at their helm before another tragedy comes upon us.
“While this is a day of victory, I will be departing before the festivities. I find it in poor taste to be celebrating this soon after the deaths of so many. I bid all of my peers a good day.”
With that, Barron Gru turned walked off the stage, and left the room on the spot. The stunned look he left on everypony’s face was the last interesting thing to happen for the entire event…
I spent the rest of the 40 speeches thinking about my future. Unfortunately, I couldn’t really decide on anything. I needed to know what land I would have to work with to think of how to actually build a hive. I needed to know who might work with me to think of what business arrangements I could make to support it…
I just needed more information, which meant sitting through more stuff like this apparently... I did however come to one meaningful conclusion.
I. Bucking. Hate. Politics!
3 An evening out.
Dusk - 10th of Solarus ‘15 EoH - Evening
The train compartment Derpy and I had shared had been swapped out for a cozy corner booth in a large ballroom. Half the ballroom had been set up in the manner of a dinner, complete with red faux leather bench seats and marble patterned tables. I’d never attended a Pinkie Party before, but I’d always heard she was very creative with themes. That certainly held true in this case.
I personally couldn’t put a hoof on an exact name, but this decor scheme looked like the Reneighsance and the 5160’s had a kid. The dinner half of the party was set with a full buffet line, which while held in steel containers, contained nothing but traditional festival foods prepared in the old styles with the old methods. Banners were hung up, which in the olden times would have barred the crests of noble houses attending the feasts, here they depicted popular bands.
The music playing was ancient Equestrian songs played on 60’s instruments, and the dance floor’s constant clattering of hooves was muted by large folding screens which had sound dampening panels on one side, and Reneighsance artwork on the other.
It was a rather nice blend. I’d decorate my house like this if I could.
While the setting of our conversation had changed drastically, Derpy and I were still quite happily carrying along with the same conversation. I wasn’t quite sure that she and I could have a proper relationship, but she was easily the most fun-to-converse-with pony I’d been delighted to talk to in a long long time. If only because Lily liked to ramble about her crappy home life while Derpy made mundane objects into epic rambles.
After her epic ramble about muffins, I had to ask for an explanation on why she loved them so much and had been told, “Uh, I’d better talk about my foalhood first. For context.”
“Really?” I asked raising an eyebrow. “You dont have a short answer?”
“Well, yes…” She admitted with an embarrassed grin. “But I’d rather tell you the whole thing because the short version makes me sound like a silly filly.”
“But… you are a silly filly.” I pointed out, “Not to say that is a bad thing!”
Derpy nodded, “I know. But the muffin thing is sort of important.”
“Okay, now I have to know.” I said after a moment’s hesitation. “How is your muffin obsession important?”
She swished her tail, took a breath, and I braced for the ramble.
“I don’t know who my real parents are,” Derpy started, making me cringe instantly. “Oh no! It’s perfectly okay! I just mean that I have an adoptive mother, and she’s the nicest person ever. See, when I was a really really young filly I got very lost. I was so young that all I can remember is I was playing with my doll and a toy spaceship one minute, and the next minute I was completely lost.
“How lost? Well the villagers who found me spent a whole decade looking for my parents, or even where I’d come from, but couldn’t find a single clue. My mom couldn’t have her own children because a jerk stabbed her a long time ago and things never healed right. So the village who found me sort of gave me to her to raise.
“Mom wasn’t too sure how to care for me, because well, different species are different, but she tried her hardest to do everything right. The important thing here is how hard she tried to feed me. I was getting sick eating just what she did, even after we used spells to let me do things her species could.
“Realizing that I couldn’t just eat meat for much longer, mom went to a nearby city and did some favors for a few people until a baker was willing to teach her how to make some other foods. Er, mom’s a carnivore, so all her recipes are meat based. Which is fine because they are pretty good, even if I usually preferred the side dishes.”
“Hold on, back up,” I said holding up a hoof politely. “You were raised by a carnivore? What kind?”
“Uh, that’s not important right now,” Derpy said quickly. “I’ll tell you later if I trust you enough okay?”
“Why is it such a big deal?” I asked, curiosity brewing.
“Because it can really change what a pony thinks about me, and I don’t like it coloring how ponies think of me because they always get the wrong impression.” Derpy replied mechanically, like she said it a lot.
I nodded politely, I wasn’t going to push her on the issue. Even if I probably wouldn’t have that problem. “So… Thank goodness pegasi can eat fish, right?”
“Oh that wasn’t an issue!” Derpy said with a smile. “Mom’s a pretty good sorcery and had a mild transformation spell… Uh… Short explanation, it grants an aspect of one creature to another, but with no physical change. It’s limited and can’t do much, but can’t be dispelled. So if I ever happened to get hit by say, a Disjunction spell, I won’t change back into a herbivore that can also eat one type of meat.”
“Ah, your mom expected you to become a carnivore, but the spell made you an omnivore?” I asked.
“Yeah… It’s a pretty crude spell… But being permanent was very important, given the circumstances.” Derpy replied, “Anyways, mom learned one recipe before the guards ran her out of town… Racial issues made things difficult for her.
“That recipe was a very basic muffin recipe. Mom didn’t like the thought of me eating the same thing every day to stay healthy and live a bland life, aside from dishes we shared. So she actually spent a lot of her free time making up her own variants on that one muffin recipe. She even went out of her way to get special ingredients and got hurt pretty bad one time when she wanted to surprise me with a special recipe for my birthday.”
She sighed in a sad sort of fondness. It was a complex emotion, you could tell she was still sad her mother had been hurt, while still angry at whoever did it, but extremely grateful for the gift just by the look in her eyes.
“Muffins remind me of home and how much mom loves me.” Derpy finished. “I’m not homesick, I could go see her whenever I want too, but daily reminders of home are nice.”
Her eyes lit up suddenly, and seconds before I could think to ask a question she blurted, “Oh! What’s your family like? Or you know, your foalhood.”
Oh god… This would be hard. I bit my lip as I thought a way to talk about it without having to explain exactly what I was. Because you know, that probably killed my chances with my first crush…
“Er- Well… my mom’s pretty nice too.” I started. “She’s pretty absent minded though, and cares very little about things aside from creating her own little worlds.”
“Oh! She’s an author?” Derpy asked cocking her head slightly, “I write too!”
“Yeah that’s a way you could put it.” I chuckled, “She doesn't tell stories though, just makes worlds for others to do their own things in. Used to be pretty popular but well, not exactly in the limelight anymore. I’m from a pretty old family, most of them are pretty much all but forgotten.
“Except for my uncle, well great great uncle. But he’s the black sheep so I can’t really count him as family… Oh…”
My face fell a bit as I realized that I was in Discord’s boat now. There was no was in hell my family would believe I was the same person. I wouldn’t be welcomed back home… My brother aside, I did enjoy my remaining family.
“I uh… I’m sort of a black sheep now too…” I admitted, wanting to at least be honest. “So if we do get together, you won't really she my folks much unless I can patch things up. Maybe I can… But it will definitely take time. Though I have been wanting to start my own life… Maybe I should just take the chance and use it.”
Derpy got up from her seat and walked to my side of the table, wrapping her forelegs around me in a brief but loving hug.
“I’m sorry… You love them a lot, don’t you?” She asked in a soothing and sympathetic tone.
God damn that tone struck a chord with me.
“Yeah… Except my brother. We’ve been fighting for longer than you’d believe.” I informed as Derpy went back to her seat.
She frowned, “Why? I’ve always wondered what having siblings would be like. Everypony I know with them get along great with their brothers or sisters… Or at least are indifferent to one another.”
I rolled my lips nervously, “Well… He and I have a very fundamental philosophical conflict regarding others, and how to treat them. He’s a monster, but also a really good actor… I’m the only one of my family who knows what’s behind his mask… If it were possible, I’d have him in therapy or an institution… Because I know for a fact he’s hurt others for kicks… But well… No one believed me.”
“That’s horrible!” Derpy exclaimed then her ears twitched worriedly, “He… he didn’t well… Kill anypony, did he?”
I managed to prevent myself from wincing at her question. Technically, he’d killed everyone who ever lived. Life is a finite thing after all, it has to end, thus putting the act of dying within his Domain rather than in my old one. But let’s not have her know or worry about that...
“It’s fine,” I interrupted quickly, “I always put things right in the end. Everyone he hurt got a happy ending, it was rule of mine. But… Well recently our conflict got violent… And I don’t think my family will let me live with them anymore. That’s honestly where events left off before I met you today, so I don't’ have much more to say on it.”
“How violent?” Derpy asked worriedly, “He’s not going to try to hurt you now is he?”
“No. He got what he wanted out of it.” I answered firmly. “Trust me, I know him really well. I’m out of his life, that’s what he wanted. He won’t spend a moment of thought on me unless I somehow can further a new goal of his. As for how violent...”
I sighed and ran a hoof through my mane as I hurriedly tried to think of a way to say it without scaring Derpy off.
“You know what, never mind.” Derpy said gently laying a hoof on the arm I had on the table, “As long as you're safe, I won't press the issue. Also this is a sorta-date, right? Let’s talk about happy things!”
I gave her a genuine smile. The mare with highly empathetic with others pain. Tally one point in her favor!
“Thanks! How about hobbies?” I suggested, “You mentioned you write, what sort of stories do you write? Or is it academic writing?”
She gave me a shy smile, “Well… I write a lot of things. I work as a postmare, so I have a lot of time while flying my rout to think and pretend and stuff… I like short stories, and your mom and I probably share a love of making fantasy worlds, but I generally use mine. Oh! I might be getting published soon!”
Derpy reached into her saddlebags which lay on the seat beside her, and took out a pair of leather bound journals. “The top one is an adventure story, kind of like Daring Doo, except the treasure is a gizmo that makes water, and it’s set in the remains of a world devastated by a terrible war, but is still pretty cool because it has jetpacks!”
“That sounds like it might be good.” I said with an impressed nod. Science fiction wasn’t my thing, but I could respect anypony with the imagination to write technological replacements for magic that made sense. “What’s the other one?”
“Huh?” Derpy asked with a little surprised expression then blushed, “Oh, I took them both out. Silly me! That one is just my notes about the setting. So I can reference things while writing. I was gonna write ether on the train or in the hotel today.”
“I’d probably need to do that to if I were an author. I can have a memory like a sieve sometim-” I stopped mid sentence, eyes widening as I spotted Lily, David, and Jade at a table some ways behind Derpy.
“Like right now, when I totally forget that some friends of mine would definitely also be at this party.” I finished excitedly.
Derpy frowned slightly. “If you want to stop our kinda-date you don’t need to make an excuse.”
My face contorted into a frown faster than I thought possible, “No! I mean, I’m having a lot of fun with you. It’s just that they probably think I’m dead, and I’m not exaggerating… It’s related to the fight I was talking about…”
“Geeze! How bad did it get?” Derpy asked in horror.
“Well… My best friend thinks I’m dead.” I repeated.
“That’s bad.” Derpy said, ears drooping.
“And I know it’s a horrible dating protocol, but I need to go let them know I’m okay.” I said giving her hoof a gentle squeeze, “I promise I’ll be back in a few minutes… They are good people and deserve to know I’m alright. It’s been over a week since I saw them last, and I was looking for them when an adorable pegasus distracted me.”
Derpy’s eyes took on an apologetic look for long enough for me to understand she was okay with me leaving for a bit, but then her gaze turned mischievous, “She’s not cuter than me is she?”
“I am literally certain that physics prevents somepony from being cuter than you.” I informed honestly. “I’ll be right back! Ten, fifteen minutes tops. I’ll tell them I’m on a date, I’m sure they’ll understand.”
“I thought this was a kinda-date.” Derpy said coyly.
“Yeah well… I like you now. So let’s call it a normal date.” I decided.
I decided to get up and say hi before the gray mare’s delighted squee and grin gave me a heart attack.
“Am I seriously that good looking to you?” I asked with a slow shake of my head.
“Yes… But you also put up with my rambling. That’s rare!” She admitted happily, “Go on. I’ll wait! The salads are tasty and I don’t like to eat while I talk.”
Derpy - 10th of Solarus ‘15 EoH - Evening
I sighed to myself as Dusk trotted off to greet her friends. I knew she’d promised to come back but I personally didn’t expect her too. It wasn’t anything she said or did, it was just how this story normally played out. But at least as I kept sitting here I felt that there was a chance she would come back.
That was a new feeling. I liked it.
I was about to get up and get myself one of those nummy looking Panzanella bowls when White slipped into Dusk’s spot with a sorry look on her face, “I’m sorry… You guys looked so cute together too…”
“Oh, no, she’s just saying hi to some friends.” I said, doing my best to remain my normal cheery self.
“Derpy… Don’t do this to yourself again…” White sighed.
“I’m not.” I insisted, turning over my shoulder to look for Dusk and spotting the white mare just as she was bear hugged by a white and yellow girly-colt. “Hehe! That colt is adorable!”
“Uh, Derpy, close one eye, that’s a mare… Also clearly a girlfriend… I’m sorry.” White repeated sadly.
I squinted closer at what was definitely a happy reunion. The fifty meters or so was pushing my vision’s limits a bit, but not too much. The other two, a reddish brown unicorn stallion and a red pegasus mare, gave Dusk a warm hug after their friend stopped his shoulder-dislocating-for-sure hug. I nodded to myself, that did look like a reunion between friends who thought one of their friends was dead.
I shook my head, “No, that’s a colt. Eye shape, nose, ear pointies… Probably a twin with a female twin.”
“Coltfriend then.” White corrected, trusting me at my word, “Look, I’m sorry I pushed you into this. Let’s just forget it an-”
“No.” I said shaking my head. “She said that she had been in Ponyville looking for those specific ponies because they thought she was dead after a fight with her brother just over a week ago. The hugs add up. I’d hug you like that if I thought you had been dead.”
“You hug me like that for bringing you snacks.” White pointed out.
“Sure, but-”
“Hold it,” White exclaimed raising an eyebrow in alarm, “just processed that! She got into a fight with a family member so bad that her friends think she was dead? Derpy, no! That’s such a huge red flag!”
I nodded in agreement, “Yes. She has a bad relationship with her brother. You know how good I am at reading ponies, White. She was telling the truth when she said she loves her parents and when she said her brother is a monster. I believe her. She’s a good person trying to do the right thing, but got in trouble instead of succeeding.”
“Yeah, sure.” White said quickly. “But that just means she has a crazy violent sibling who might hurt you to get at her if he tried to bucking murder her!”
I gave White a little smile. I’d be fine. I’ve handled worse than a bad pony easily enough.
After a few moments of giving me a concerned look White facehooved, “Right… the timberwolves.”
“Mhm.” I giggled.
If vision problems magic couldn't correct didn't instantly disqualify me from the Guard and military, I'd have been happy to serve. Though I do think I enjoy being a postmare more than I would standing around in armor on a hot day.
“Okay, so maybe you can handle a pony, but it’s still dumb to put yourself in danger!” White objected.
I shook my head, “Not for a good cause.”
“What cause?” White exclaimed-asked, holding her hooves up in an ‘I don’t believe this’ gesture.
“Dusk has just been disowned.” I said seriously. “Everypony needs somepony to help them through losing their family… Especially if their family is still alive.”
“Oh… okay.” White sighed, pursing her lips in defeat. She knew there was no talking me out of doing everything I could to cheer somepony up.
“If Dusk comes back after saying hi to her friends, then I’ll be here for as long as she needs me.” I decided. “If that happens to be a whole lifetime, then that will be awesome! If it’s just for a few months until she’s over losing her family, then I may have lost a few months of potential dates but at least somepony had someone to get them through a rough spot in their life. It’s win-win.”
White nodded slowly, “Okay… And if this blows up like you and Dash I’ll be here for you, but well… I’m going to wind up telling you ‘I told you so.’ I can just feel it.”
I smiled happily at her words. Twenty three failed relationships and dates and White had been behind them all one hundred percent so far. It was a good oman!
Or was the word ‘omen’?
Owin? No that sounded wrong. Ocera? No that wasn’t even the right category of thing!
Omnom? No that was also wrong! Mabey-
“Equis to Derpy, terminate the brain bunny trial and re-enter the atmosphere.” White said, clicking her hooves together to get my attention.
I blinked uncrossed my eyes, and giggle-blushed, “Hehe, sorry!”
“Last protest.” White said bluntly, “Are you sure that after just half a date you two will work out?”
I shook my head, “No, of course not. But I am sure she needs somepony to be there for her, and I’m happy to do that… I hope I can be more to her, but only time will tell.”
“Alright, as long as you know what you're sticking your hooves into.” White sighed. “I’m going to go back to lurking.”
“I’ll tell you how the rest of the evening went tomorrow, okay?” I asked happily.
She nodded. “You do that. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
A few moments after White left I remembered the Panzanella and grabbed myself one from the buffet. A few bites into the not-as-tasty-as-it-appears salad I decided to write a bit to pass time until Dusk came back.
Opening my journal, I pulled a pencil from my bag with my wing, gripped it in hoof, and started to write where I had left off:
The Sierra Madre was believed nothing more than a Mojave legend, a fabled City of Gold, where fortune could be found. Then the Courier returned from the East, insisting myth was reality, and holding a backpack full of gold to prove it. If he could make it with that bullet riddled head of his, so could we.
Mistakes thus made, we began to plan our journey.
Dusk - 10th of Solarus ‘15 EoH - Evening
I quickly crossed the floor to my friend’s table. I had to make sure they were completely okay. The pegasus mare was obviously a shape changed Jade, Azur Lily was easy to identify, but I didn’t recognize the stallion. If David had bought the farm in the final battle I don’t think I could forgive myself that failure.
Sure, I had used them as bait, but I had done it as safely as I could, and had paradises of afterlives waiting for them if the safety net had failed. But then I died and lost my powers. Meaning they had faced Chrysalis's alone… And without my safety net…
“That bad, eh?” The reddish brown Stallion asked Jade as I got within hearing range.
“Yes. Let’s not talk about any more political junk, please.” Jade asked, “I think I might literally puke…”
Lily nodded slowly. “Ja, I heard equestrian politics has that same effect on other nation’s diplomats.”
Sensing the perfect entry I conjured a silver lighter and a cigarette, blinked myself invisible, walked to a spot where I’d be seen, and turned visible again as I lit the lighter. “Yeah Equestrian politics can be pretty lethal to the faint of heart. Poor bastar-”
Lily’s tackle-like bearhug rammed the cigarette into my mouth!
“Dusk! I knew you weren't dead!” Lily exclaimed happily, hugging surprisingly hard for his little body.
“You look good for someone who exploded.” The stallion said before giving me a hug along with Jade as Lily let go.
Spitting the cigarette out I intoned. “Meh, I walked it off. No offense but you are… Whom?”
“David.” The stallion grunted raising an eyebrow. “How do you not just recognize me, don’t you see souls or something?”
Shit, was that a thing I could still do? Well there wasn’t a need to go into that at the moment…. He did sound like David, but-
“How the hay are you a pony?” I asked raising an eyebrow back.
“I copied the shape changing powers from changelings and gave them to him so he could be a pony and not deal with racist jerks.” Lily informed in a proud tone.
David nodded. “I’ve almost gotten the hang of switching between the two bodies… Good to know you’re alright… And well, guess this sort of proves you really aren't a mortal.”
Jade smiled. “I told you so… Though the priestess did say gods could die.”
“We can.” I admitted, “and I should have, but I got very lucky. Speaking of luck, how did you pull it off?”
Jade nodded to David, “I confused her with telepathy and he shot her in the face with Boomstick.”
“Wait… that worked?” I asked doing a bit of a double take.
“Yeah, she tried to jump between bodies but that just made the whole thing go up like a pile of roman candles.” David replied. “Personally, I thought she would go off like a nuke. The battle was lost at that point so I figured well… You know. Glad it didn’t kill us all.”
“Was ein- er. Wait a minute,” Lily said frowning, “if you didn’t think the gun would do it, why did you get the smith to make it for David? Und what was your plan?”
“I just wanted you to have a weapon to keep you safe for the journey.” I answered. “Also, uh… Well hindsight is twenty-twenty and all… It seems pretty stupid now but after making my father see that Chrysalis was a real problem, like, for us, due to throwing the system out of balance, he’d tell me to kill her and the I was going to just well, kill her. But it looks like that wouldn’t have panned out.”
David gave me a deadpan stare. “You don’t say.” He said after a few long moments.
“I’m sure it seemed like it would work before exploding.” Jade said with an amused giggle.
“Well, yes… It did.” I grunted.
Lily shook her head, “Well, it all worked out in the end didn’t it?”
I looked over at everyone. Jade nodded and leaned to rest her head on David’s shoul-
“You guys hooked up?” I asked in surprise.
David nodded, shyly scratching the back of his head with a hoof. “Eh, well… Sort of… Starting to anyways.”
“You know it’s funny, but I got side tracked looking for you guys today because I ran into this cute mare and came here on a date with her.” I chuckled.
“Wait, you completely forgot you were looking for us?” Jade asked, a bit upset.
I nodded and cleared my throat, “Yeah… Sorry. I’m my defense, she’s literally cute enough to distract a god.”
“She has you there.” David said to Jade with a playful grin.
Jade sighed and shook her head. “I’m glad you’re still alive, Dusk. Thanks for helping us get away from Chrysalis.”
“No problem. Happy to help.” I quipped, “not very happy to explode though.”
“About that,” Lily asked, “Would you like to have a drink?”
I mulled the thought over in my head for a few moments. I did tell Derpy I’d be back… Eh, I could keep it to just one. “Well, I did tell her I’d be back, but I can do one with you now and another five later! Where are you guys staying?” I asked as I sat down next to Lily in their booth.
“Right now, with Princess Twilight in her castle at Ponyville.” Jade replied. “But that’s temporary… I hope.”
To my credit, I only spent half an hour and two drinks with them before remembering my promise and excusing myself. Friends, there’s nothing quite like them.
As I slipped back into my original seat in front of the floofy maned pegasus who was busily scribbling in one of her books, I gently cleared my throat. “I’m back! Sorry that took a bit longer than I expected.”
Derpy tipped her head up then looked back down, then up again and smiled happily, “Yay! You’re back!”
I nodded. “I am. So, where were-”
“Well, actually,” Derpy interrupted, “I wanted to know where you live. Or at least a place I can find you… You know for future fun!”
Her face fell a little as see added, “and well, also because you’re sad your family disowned you so you can’t go back home… I want to make sure you have a place to stay.”
I bit my lip worriedly. Technically I could just go back to the realm I’d awoken in, but I couldn’t directly say that and I didn’t want to lie to-
Derpy nodded sadly. “I thought you didn’t… I’m sorry.”
I couldn’t let her be all sad like that! “Uh, well, actually I do know an old temple that I could-”
“Old temple?” Derpy asked in shock, “I uh… er… This sort of goes against my normal dating ideas but- Would you please stay with me? At least until you can find your own place? I have a spare room.”
I pursed my lips in thought. I didn’t have to impose on-
“It wouldn’t be a problem! And I don’t mean you can just stay with me forever… Well, maybe I’ll want you too one day. I really mean you can stay for a week or two, enough time to get an apartment or a room, and a job too if you need one. There’s plenty of places to stay and work in Ponyville.” Derpy elaborated.
Ah! So she was just doing that famous Equestrian hospitality thing. I could live with that.
“Well… My friends are living in Ponyville now… Yeah, all right. It’s a deal!” I said giving her a smile. “Thanks for the generosity.”
“I can’t let somepony stay in an old temple somewhere when I have a guest bedroom.” Derpy said, closing her book with a wingtip. “Okay… I think I’d just finished, I’ll tell you about my writing when you get up. Do you have any hobbies?”
I nodded, resolving to not take advantage of Derpy’s good nature and actually get an apartment in Ponyville first chance I could. If she and I went anywhere, it would be nice to have a place to invite her over too after all.
“Yeah,” I replied, “I collect and repair antiques.”
No need to mention that most of my collection were relics of dead civilizations…
“Oh cool!” Derpy exclaimed, breaking out into a huge grin. “What’s the coolest thing you have?”
Dammit. This was going to be a long evening of picking the proper word choices… At least things were going great so far!
4 The Book
Jade - 12th of Solarus ‘15 EoH - Late Morning
I yawned as I wiggled awake next to David. Despite the insanity that had been trying to learn the Equestrian political system, I had enjoyed my stay in Ponyville so far. Mostly because Twilight's palace had the best guest bedrooms ever!
Until seven days ago, I had no idea that there was such a thing as a bed with curtains around it. That was a beautiful thing! So cozy! The perfect way to section off a large room into a nice small, dimly lit, warm place. A changeling couldn’t ask for more!
Well, we could also ask for some bedtime snacks to go with the perfect bed, but that’s what a mate is for.
Though to be fair David was less a snack and more of a meal. A tasty meal. Now I know why mom and dad let each other have a concubine, freshly made love is delicious!
I spent a few minutes gently nuzzling David’s neck to see if he was awake. He just rolled over muttering, saying something about things in that alien language of his. Deciding to play a bit unfair I gently nibbled his eartip, but only got a few twitches out of his ear before giving up on breakfast in bed.
Carefully scooting out of bed, so that the warm wouldn’t escape the covers, I slid between the bed curtains and set hoof on the Purrsian carpeted floor.
I loved the palace’s decorations. There were lovely plush carpets everywhere, not just to add a splash of color to the dark crystal walls, but to make the place usable. The crystal was unnaturally smooth, without carpet over it, hooves would slide and skitter all over the floors, making a pony slide like they were standing on greased ice.
There were also bolts of silken cloth hung in a draping banner style along the tops of rooms and hallways. Many different colors and patterns of cloth were used, and each helped you find your way to a different place by letting you know what area of the palace you were in by their color, and where in that area you were by the pattern.
All of the decor aside from paintings of ponies and the odd statue were that nice, pretty but purposeful blend. It just made sense to merge decoration and utility. When I got to the actual building part of building a Hive, I’d have to copy the idea.
I looked around the room, admiring the solid mineral based walls. it was nice to be in a proper home again. Well, almost proper. It wasn’t underground, but at least it was carved out of a solid chunk of material. Nice solid, safe, and unyielding crystal.
Well, presumably unyielding. I’d rather not test that. Repairs would be pretty expensive. Though the painted to not be hideous looking tree portion supported the entire palace just fine, so the crystal had to be pretty strong. At least in terms of bearing a load.
Though it did make me wonder why Twilight chose to have her palace made out of crystal. She seemed like such a practical pony, and well, even after just over a week it was pretty clear that she was more than a little… unbalanced. You’d think she would have had a manor house built to match the architecture of the rest of Ponyville.
A light knocking on the wooden doors interrupted my thoughts. Trotting over to the door I gently opened it with my magic, hearts giving a tiny flutter as the opening door revealed Twilight’s Scribe. The glossy purple Drake was smaller than others of his kind I’d seen so far, but something in how he carried himself suggested he’d seen worse than you a dozen times before breakfast. Even if he also looked upbeat and cheerful.
“Uh, Hi!” I quickly greeted, “Spike, right?”
He nodded, reptilian eyes focusing on me with far too much sharpness for my liking. “Yep. Uh, you alright?”
“Fine.” I replied quickly, not wanting to let him know that he creeped me out.
It was weird, I didn’t have any problem with Drakes at a distance, but apparently up close they shifted me into full ‘There is a predator nearby!’ mode.
“No you’re not.” Spike sighed, shaking his head slowly. “You think I’m going to eat you, right?”
“Uh-” I started flinching a little.
“You know, I never had this problem as a baby. But the second you grow a little, gain your wings, and start walking on all fours everypony’s attitude changes.” He huffed, giving me an indignant look. Only to give me a playful wink a heartbeat later, “I know I look like a fierce dragon now, but I’m a softie. I’m not going to hurt you.”
“Well.. I know that. But-” I sighed, taking a half step backwards, “It’s hard to fight instinct.”
“Tell me about it. I was this close to growing into a full dragon,” Spike held up a claw, two talons forming a tiny gap between them, “but nope. Lost all three hoards. Couldn’t stop trying to make one till I grew up. But after that… Meh, I’m just a scaly pony realy. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to me in another week or two.”
I nodded slowly. “O-okay… So uh, why does Twilight have you do so much? I mean you're a scribe, right?” I simply had to know.
Spike cocked his head at my question, “Uh, no… I’m her assistant. I don’t just write for her, I do- well, everything.”
“Oh! So you're her Coltservent?” I asked curiously, “I’m just trying to understand the palace staff’s um… arrangement?”
He smiled in amusement, revealing those super pointy draconic teeth, “Oh! Heh, good luck equating Equestrian servants to foreign jobs. Most ponies here hold two or three positions at once.”
He stopped, blinked, then shook his head, “For example, right now, I’m supposed to be a messenger. Twilight wants to see you. She’s in the private dining room in the kitchen.”
I stared at Spike helplessly for a minute. He gave me a little grin of understanding.
“Go left. Down the staircase on your right, then follow the blue starred drapery until you reach the kitchen. You want the small room to the left of the kitchen’s entrance.” He instructed, turning to trot off down the corridor.
“Thanks!” I called after him, letting out a held breath as I quickly stepped into the hall, closing the door behind me.
I felt my ears droop in embarrassed sadness as I headed for the kitchen. It felt awful to be afraid of someone who had to be nice and friendly to hold the job they did. Even worse, with all I’d been through it felt so stupid to be afraid of a dwarf dragon!
The big variety would make sense to be afraid of, they love changelings like ponies love fried hay. But Spike and other miniature dragons… I didn’t understand it. I was a head bigger than him! I’d fought Queen Chrysalis! But nope! The polite and chit-chatty assistant still managed to make me nervous.
Stupid brain…
I arrived at the dining room still mentally grumbling about my embarrassed sadness. The room was very small, just big enough for six ponies to eat comfortably. It had one large round wooden table, which surprisingly had no decoration other than it’s woodgrain and a glossy polish, and it’s walls were very plainly decorated with shelves holding books and nicknacks. It was the most homey part of the palace I had seen so far!
As I walked in Twilight looked up from her seat where she sat reading from the familiar cloth and wood slat book Lily, David, and I had carried for so long.
“There you are!” Twilight greeted with a smile, “Would you mind helping me decipher Clover’s spells? I have nothing scheduled for today, and I thought you might like a break from political lectures.”
I nodded gratefully and took a seat beside this alien version of the mare I’d come to know.
Twilight normally looked so formal, stiff, and poised, like a living statue going about the motions of a ruler with precise and measured motions. This Twilight looked like a normal pony. Was this what she was normally like?
“I would love too.” I answered as I settled into the chair. The simple wooden seat was a bit oddly shaped for someone my size.
Twilight gave me a relieved and happy smile, “That’s great! I know you don’t know too much about magic yet, but maybe that’s just what we need to work this out… Also maybe you can remember what Clover did exactly.”
“I can try,” I replied taking a look at the page Twilight had been reading. It was the first spell in the book, just a few pages behind the title page. “I can’t control when and what I know she knew though. It comes to me randomly.”
“Is that how you suddenly worked out the light spell I was trying to show you?” Twilight asked curiously.
I nodded in response, avoiding speaking to try and avoid the bunny trail of magic lessons. I didn’t want to go to school today.
“Cool! We’ll have to study the phenomenon sometime. Maybe we can find a way to let you use Clover’s memories like a reference book!” Twilight exclaimed excitedly. “Uh, speaking of books, did the book get damaged during your journey? It’s missing a few pages.”
“Not that I remember.” I said in surprise, “What pages are missing?”
“I’m not sure… There’s ten different places where pages have been very neatly torn out from random parts of the book.” Twilight informed. “It could have been to remove a mistake, or to prevent a spell from being learned. I honestly can’t tell… Mostly because the farther in I try to read the less sense everything makes.”
“Well, I guess that means we try to work on the first one.” I said simply, squinting as I tried my best to read the spidery writing. “What’s weird about it?”
“The spell matrices.” Twilight explained. “A novice mage wouldn’t notice anything wrong here, later on in the book sure, but not here. This spell is just an explanation of the standard matrix Clover uses for the other spells in the book. Modern magic all uses a variation of Starswirl’s amniomorphic spell as their matrix, but with ancient world spells you generally have to know what the specific mage used to get their spells to work properly.”
“So we need this spell to make the others work.” I mused. My eyes widened in sudden realization, “Oh! Maybe she used the spell matrix as a sort of key to encipher the other spells!”
Twilight flashed me a proud smile. “That’s exactly what I think! The only problem is that this spell doesn't make any sense either.”
I nodded and rubbed a hoof across my chin in thought. “Well… I’m just an amateur… Also, I can’t read that hoof writing. What’s weird about it?”
Twilight nodded grimly. “Clover was definitely not the best at penmareship. The problem is there are these little extra bits thrown into the matrix’s description. I thought they might form a sentence or an equation, but they are just nonsense as far as I can tell. If you cast the spell like this it would form a spell matrix, but it would be very unstable, ether decaying quickly or causing a spell formed within it to behave oddly.
“So I’m thinking that if we cast the right spell with the matrix that will reveal a clue as to-”
A scrap of parchment with some characters hastily but neatly scratched onto it caught my eye.
“I don’t mean to interrupt, but is that the ‘nonsense’?” I asked, glee welling up in my chest as I realized I knew something Twilight didn't for a change.
“Huh?” Twilight asked, before looking at the scrap of parchment. “Yes. Why?”
“That’s changelish writing.” I giggled, giving Twilight a pleased with myself grin.
She shook her head. “No it’s not. My translation spell covers spoken and written changelish.”
“I’m the first diamond you’ve met, Twilight.” I pointed out. “If two neighboring nations can speak entirely different languages-”
Twilight facehooved. “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! I’m just focused on this mystery right now! I didn’t even think that changelings might have dialects.”
“It’s okay. I used to think all ponies spoke Equish.” I picked up the scrap of parchment with my magic and floated it over to the table in front of me and stared at the characters sketched onto it.
“Well, it’s just that the Ruby, Emerald, and Sapphire hives all use the written form I have included in my spell so… Well, you know.” Twilight chuckled in embarrassment.
“No, seriously, it’s fine.” I soothed. “See these characters? My hive doesn't use all of them, but I recognize most of them. Each one is a little picture that has a specific meaning. It’s like writing with runes like Equish uses except each word has it’s own individual character.”
“Oh! That would explain why I don't recognize it!” Twilight exclaimed, “Your hive uses a pictographic version of the language!”
“Is that the word for it?” I asked before looking back at the characters. “Anyways, the order of characters doesn't mean too much because they form the context of the sentence as a whole. But the exact order does matter a bit, so I should be able to read this if I can work out-”
I nodded happily as I found a pattern in the characters that would say something that made sense within the context of hiding information. “There! ‘The warmth of the candle illuminates’.” I said happily.
Twilight’s eyes lit up, “That must be the spell to use with the matrix! Let’s see…” Twilight closed her eyes in thought, “Given the arrangement of each part, if I use this to form a small candle sized flame…” She shook her head slowly. “No… That will just make a shower of sparks.”
“Well, try it anyways?” I suggested.
“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt.” Twilight said, horn pulsing for a literally only just detectable instant.
A small shimmering candle flame winked into existence a few inches in front of Twilight’s nose, danced for a brief moment then fall apart in a shower of yellow-blue sparks.
“Well, at least you know what an unstable matrix does now.” Twilight mused, sitting back in her chair to think.
“Well, why are you so sure that the matrix plus a small flame needs to be cast? Maybe that’s just the key. If you wrote it down, would it look like a code, or something?” I asked curiously.
Twilight mulled the idea over for a minute then nodded. “Yes, I suppose you could use that as a cipher key… But no mage I can think of would hide something that way when they can hide something magically. My own personal spellbook has all of it’s text scrambled unless you cast the proper spell while holding it, an idea I got from reading one of Starswirl’s books.
“So since Clover was especially powerful, and also was Starswirl’s teacher, it makes sense for her to… I’m sure you understand what I’m saying, right?”
I nodded, “Yes, but wouldn’t Clover have known that?”
“What do you mean?” Twilight asked with a small frown.
“Lily told me these spells can only be cast by a very powerful wizard. So if you wanted to protect them why, would you choose a method that a mage would think to try first?” I asked seriously.
Twilight nodded slowly. “Well, you have a point there… How about I write down the matrix as it would be if casting that candlelight spell, and you see if there are any more ways that sentence could be read? That way we can try both methods.”
“Sure!” I turned back to the parchment just as Twilight conjured another sheet of parchment and a quill, catching both appearing out of the corner of my vision.
Changelish is an odd language by the world’s standards I guess. It makes perfect sense to me. Context provides what the message is supposed to mean, and the characters used provide the context. The order of those characters provided another layer of context before each character's meaning finishes the thought.
This meant that the characters within Clover’s message could be arranged in limited ways. The first three I had thought of made no sense given the context of a message one might hide to let others know how to understand the rest of the book. Unless ‘See how she sparkles’ was some sort of hint at a riddle.
Or maybe…
“Twilight! Can I have parchment and a pen, please?” I asked in sudden realization.
“Of course! I should teach you my parchment making spell later. Stores never stock enough of the stuff.” Twilight said as she conjured parchment and quill in front of me without even looking up from her work.
Picking up the quill with my magic, I began to write down every possible string of characters. Maybe if you put all of them into proper order you could make a single longer statement! That was an old kind of poem they made us do in school, where you have one sentence that can be read a dozen ways, each way adding more meaning to one overall narrative.
It only took a minute to get all the combinations written down in Changelish and Equish. But getting an order to the sentences right was a bit more challenging. Twilight finished her four page long description before I managed to put the last line into place.
“There. I think this is it.” I said as I finished.
Twilight looked over and then gave me a confused eyebrow raise. “How do you get this out of eight characters?”
“Uh… Well this is all the possible things they could say, with the nonsense left out, and then arranged into a single longer statement… It’s a poem.” I explained.
“That's kind of cool.” Twilight said as I passed her the message.
“Here. It’s a riddle, I think.” I informed, glancing at the parchment again.
The warmth of the candle illuminates,
see how she sparkles?
Her light reveals the gates,
which guard the chronicles.
The tome is the key,
by which entrance is claimed.
The lock is shared with thee
by those friendship hath proclaimed.
Not by deed nor presence,
such thoughts mislead.
You desire a pleasance,
the warmth friends heed.
“I’ve never been very good with riddles.” I continued, “But we can probably fig-”
Twilight’s eyes scanned the parchment once, “Oh! She’s talking about the Fires of Friendship!”
I felt my ears droop. Stupid riddles! Always making me feel like an idiot…
“Uh, what are those?” I asked to distract myself from Ms. Insta-solve.
“The Fires of Friendship is Clover’s greatest magical discovery.” Twilight explained. “It’s a physical manifestation of the emotional bond between friends that many mages can use to amplify their own power. The Fires themselves are a sort of a… Multi-tool. They can do many different things depending on… How you manifest them! Ah ha!”
Twilight grinned and quickly pulled me to her side with a wing-hug. “Jade, you’re a genius! She did hide the key with a non-magical cipher, and then also ensured that you could only make sense of the key if you knew her history! I just need to conjure the Fire using Clover’s matrix and we should be able to read everything!”
Twilight’s horn began to glow before she stopped cold, and the glow faded, “Wait… You said you left some parts out. There could be more to this… What sorts of things did you think might be nonsense?”
I giggled. “Good thought, but most of those things wouldn’t form coherent thoughts. The only ones that do don't fit in with the rest. ‘I am interfaced!’, ‘No really, it’s forty two.’, ‘He tried to kill me with a lifting-fork.’, and well… nonsense like that.”
“Lifting-fork?” Twilight asked raising an eyebrow. “How can you even get that from words that mean things like candle, light, and warmth?”
I gave her a sheepish smile. “Uh well… I never said Changelish was an easy to learn language…”
Twilight shook her head slowly. “I’ll want to see if you can help me work out a translation spell for your dialect… Anyways.”
Her horn blazed again, this time staying lit as a ball of warm pink flames swirled into existence over the book. The flames rolled and slid over one another like a clump of string being pulled from both ends until it twisted itself into the shape of a heart. The heart pusled for a few seconds, then sank down to rest atop the book, where the flames flowed outwards leaving behind a single rolled piece of parchment as they vanished.
Twilight immediately grabbed the parchment with her hoof making an excited little squeak. The small bit of twine holding the scroll closed practically disintegrated as Twilight’s magic ripped it away from the parchment, unrolling it in a flourish of delighted-
“I have absolutely no idea what this is.” Twilight said flatly, staring at the page. “Yay!”
“Uh, yay?” I asked in confusion, “I thought you wanted to be able to learn-”
“Yep! Exactly that. I like to learn.” Twilight said happily. “It’s obvious that this is one of the book’s missing pages, but I have absolutely no idea what these glyphs are, mean, or signify. So I have something new to study and learn about! Maybe there is a whole lost art to be rediscovered!”
Twilight set the page down and conjured another piece of parchment. A half second later and a flash of her magic copied the page’s text to the parchment. It was covered in strings of whirling loops which could be writing, except each line of ‘text’ was bound within square shaped glyphs with their own unique structures and designs. Half rune, half pictogram.
“Oh I get it!” I exclaimed in realization. “So we can try to put one page into the book to see if that does anything but you have a copy of the glyphs!”
“Exactly! We could put this page in and the text may become normal writing.” Twilight said as she hummed over the page, “but what page is this one? Where should it go?”
That’s obviously the first page, you silly filly. Clover’s memories informed.
I bit my lip to keep from laughing at the alien thought and instead suggested. “Why not put it in the first missing page’s place?”
Twilight paused, gave me a look for I simply couldn't decipher, slowly facehooved, and then turned the book’s pages to the second one in from the cover.
After gently placing the page into place, Twilight slowly smoothed the torn edges together. The moment her hoof left the page, a pale blue spark of magic raced down the torn line, knitting the page back into the book as if it had never been removed!
The text swirled, shifted position like a fat pony trying to stand up from it’s back, then faded into nothingness. An instant later the page filled with a high quality sketch of what looked like a map!
“I swear, if this is yet another quest giving map…” Twilight muttered to herself while I learned over the shifting ink picture in awe.
The map slowly changed angles, the geometry of the small island it showed coming into view as the changing angle showed there was a small hill at the island center-
No… it wasn’t a map! It was a moving ink representation of what you would see if you flew along the island starting from above! There was a hill, a small forest, a fountain, and a dock, and then built into the side of the hill was a small stone building. Like a-
“Hey, does that look like a house to you?” Twilight asked tapping the page with her hoof to point out the structure in question.
I nodded, opening my mouth to reply when suddenly Twilight began to glow a bright white!
I yelped, grabbed her left wing to try and pull her away from the book, only to yelp again as the glow spread to my hoof and-
The world turned white!
Suddenly like a slap to the eyes the world came back! Except we weren't in Twilight’s dining room. We were standing on a dirt path in front of the stone house in the drawing.
Which had a note pinned to the door.
A note written in the same writing as Clover’s spellbook.
Well done.
I give unto you my library. My spellbook will transport you to and from this Library, a place you found when you inserted the first page, any time you wish. Without the other pages, it is otherwise useless. The pages have been hidden across many places to prevent the tome’s misuse. You can find clues to their locations in my Library, as well as Starswirl’s.
You do not have to pursue them if you do not wish. You were able to find this isle outside of the universe. You are a worthy successor whether you choose to finish my final work or not. Enjoy my home.
“Wow! This is pretty cool!” I exclaimed excitedly.
Twilight remained frozen, staring at the note on the door as if in a trance, eyes shrunk to pinpricks, ears ridged, tail stuck straight out in alarm.
“Uh, Twilight?” I asked, hoping she didn’t have a stroke.
I’m not sure if my eardrums burst before Twilight’s almighty squee of delight, or after. I don’t think I ever will know for sure.
5 The Library
Twilight Sparkle - 12th of Solarus ‘15 EoH - Noon
Clover the Clever’s library! In front of me! And she gave it to me! She gave it to me via note!
Begone door! Your obstructing presence will not keep me from this treasure another instant!
I took a deep breath to calm myself. “No, no… That might damage the interior…” And decided against disintegrating the door with a positron burst.
“What?” Jade shouted.
“Uh, nothing! Heh heh…” I quickly turned around and turned the doorknob, and pushed the door open.
The door opened with a creak, the expected plume of dust absent as the opening door revealed a pristine and clean interior. The floors were polished and waxed dark hardwood, obviously shaped with magic due to their perfect smoothness and perfect nearly seamless state. The walls were covered with a wooden paneling just as well made and beautiful as the floors, but stained a much lighter color.
The roof was stained the same color as the floor,and supported by large iron beams that had the same look to them as a cast iron pot. There were two doors opposite the front entrance, each made from single sheets of wood and unlike every other surface, were painted a cheerful white. The room I looked into now was small, and simple. A living space, rather than a working space.
There were shelves upon which sat books, nick knacks, and household goods. A large dining table meant for four if the matched chairs were any indication. A simple magic powered cast iron stove, an icebox, an absolutely gorgeous carpet that was made to be a map of Equestria circa 1853 R.H. A simple brown cloak hung on a pe-
I teleported over to the cloak and gingerly picked it up in my hooves. “Oh… My… GOSH!”
“What?” Jade shouted from outside. “I think my eardrums popped… Hold on.”
This was it, her cloak! Clever’s cloak! I’d never been able to ever ever ever find anything more about it’s appearance other than being a simple brown hooded cloak with a darker brown mantle. Now it was in my hooves!
I gingerly turned the relic over to look at it, noticing that it didn’t appear to be very old at all. It only appeared to be about as aged as one might expect if they were browsing an antique shop. Perhaps time flowed more slowly here? The cloak was worn, but still quite sturdy! I could wear it myself if I liked.
A glint of silver caught my eye, drawing my attention to the clasp. A simple four leaf clover brooch, and clearly enchanted beyond the capabilities of your average pony by it’s bright shimmer and glow. Beyond the ability of silver to support in fact… how-
Some more silvery glint caught my eye, just a glimmer from under the cloak mantle. The entire underside of the mantle had a fabric formed of extremely fine arcanite wire! A fabric made of a thaumaturgic superconductor.
“Ah ha! Brilliant!” I cheered to nopony in particular.
“I can hear again,” Jade informed as she trotted up behind me, “you’re not thinking of wearing that, are you?”
“You’re right. That would be a bit disrespectful.” I lamented, putting the cloak back onto it’s peg.
“Actually… I just meant the brown would not look good on you.” Jade informed.
“I happen to think I look great in browns!” I objected, resolving to at least learn what the cloaks enchantments did. And maybe put it on once or twice…
Oooo! I could use it in this year’s Hearth's Warming play! Hehe! Nopony would know it was the genuine article! Rarity would have a fit over it’s worn state…
Yes! I was going to do that.
“Well, everyone has their own opinions. Mine is you’d look better in a dark green than that.” Jade said as she started to look around the living room.
I was about to check the icebox to see what sort of food or drink Clover may have liked when Jade called. “Hey, Twilight! Somepony’s left a ton of notes on the table.”
Quickly moving over to her side, I found the tabletop was piled with notes! Most written in Equish, some in changelish (thankfully not Jade’s dialect!) and a few in that odd glyph language the book’s page had been written in.
I picked up a note at random and read it.
Starswirl,
I’ve destroyed Terra-Delta’s book. There is nothing more to be gained from having a link to it, and I’ve discovered the new strain of Lycanthropy has it’s origins in TD. It would seem you are correct, our current method of dimensional linking will eventually begin to transfer undesired elements between dimensions. I’ll work on a safety mechanism for future linking books.
“Interesting…” I muttered, stroking my chin as I set down the note. “I thought Starswirl developed the mirrors after Clover’s death.”
“Mirrors?” Jade asked, looking up from another note curiously.
“Starswirl created a set of four enchanted mirrors that allow access to other dimensions. They work like permanent portals. Two of them were destroyed a long time ago, one more recently, and the last remaining one… Well, I hid it away.
“My point is, I didn’t know that they were based on anything. These book portals must have been a prototype.” I explained.
Jade nodded and looked a few of the notes. “Wait, Starswirl the Bearded was Clover’s apprentice thousands of years ago, right?”
“Yes.” I answered, suppressing my fangirl-lecture.
“These notes don’t look too old… I can see Clover having left a recent note, being a Queen and all. But how could Starswirl? He’s a unicorn.” Jade asked with a perplexed look.
I couldn’t help but smile, “Well as far as anypony knows Starswirl is alive. He just left Equestria a long time ago. He invented time magic, Jade. He never said how, but when asked about his age he said and I quote, ‘I told aging to go stuff it, so it did.’”
“Oh. Seems legit.” Jade quipped, turning back to the notes.
I picked up another note at random. While the books were a glorious treasure, knowing more about one of the most elusive historical figures was much more appealing. Especially since Celestia and Luna mostly only knew things related to the friendship the three of them shared.
Clover,
I’ve successfully re-written this Age’s chronology. Time here passes at the slowest possible rate I could manage. The days here are eons on Equis. You will be in pain, but we will have as much time as we need. Until we can find a means to cure you of this malady, you must remain here. As that seems unlikely, and as per our agreement that nopony can ever learn of this art, I have informed Celestia and Luna of your “death”. I’m sorry. I know you will be sleeping frequently from the poison's effects. If you can’t be awake to talk to me, simply leave a note here. I’ll keep you apprised of the situation outside in the same way.
“Look at this!” Jade exclaimed excitedly as she held up a note in her magic. “I found my hive’s origins!”
“What?” I exclaimed, taking the note for myself and quickly reading it.
Starswirl,
I swore I would never do it, but I can’t stand being cooped up in here anymore! I’m going to lay some eggs. Please take them to a remote place on Equis and allow a small hive to develop. If there are white changelings in the world it won’t look out of place if one of the drones I plan to remote-link with is ever found. Besides, we can’t keep my spellbook here. How else will somepony pick up where we left off if we fail? The hive can safely hide it until ordered to send it to Celestia. I’m sure somepony at that school of hers will crack the riddle one day.
I gasped, grinning, and only barely holding back a squee. “Oh my gosh that’s me! I did it! Well… No… We did it.”
Jade shook her head. “No, you solved the riddle. All I did was help you read it.”
I raised an eyebrow and put a hoof on Jade’s shoulder. “It would have taken me years to learn how to read that. You helped. A lot. We are only here because of both of our efforts.”
She bit her lip in thought then nodded slightly. “Well… I guess. But… I just feel a bit useless.”
“Why?” I asked, realizing that the young queen was opening up to me pretty deeply.
“I don’t know anything.” Jade answered. “I can read, write, I know a little of my hive’s history, and I know how to shapeshift. I can cast three spells, light, spark, and warmth. I can use telekinesis about as well as a unicorn filly. But I’m a Queen. I’m supposed to start my own hive, and I’ll need to impress people to do that...
“Yeah, I guess some people see me as a national hero because I helped defeat Chrysalis… But I only helped. I didn’t do anything especially important. Nothing anypony else couldn’t have done at least.” She finished, scuffing the floor with a small pathetic hoof kick.
Oh boy… I remembered being at this stage of life. It wasn’t all that long ago actually.
Fortunately for Jade, she had somepony who could give her better advice than anypony else standing next to her. I had to decipher Celestia’s cryptic lessons! Sure, that generally made the information stick, but this was just a simple bit of advice that you could just tell somepony in my position.
“Jade, how old are you?” I asked.
“Seventeen.” She answered.
I nodded. “Right. Now, assuming somepony doesn't kill you, how long will you live?”
“A hundred and seventy years or so.” She replied instantly, giving me a confused look. “Why are you asking?”
“Because you haven't realized something yet.” I replied. “You’re ageless now. Or at least, you’re going to live a minimum of eight thousand years. I’m not sure if Queens are truly ageless… Uh… your ancestors tend to be killed.”
Jade paused, but didn’t reply. Maybe I hadn’t given her enough?
“You, Celestia, Luna, the other Elements, and I are not in the same position as everypony else. It’s a hard truth, but they are going to age and one day die. We are not.” I explained.
“I… I don’t understand what you mean.” Jade said after a long moment.
“You are seventeen,” I said pausing to do a quick bit of math, “you have been alive for three thousandths of Celestia’s life. If her lifetime were a day, you would have been alive for just over four minutes. Immortals like us deal in a totally different timescale. Sure, right now you know nothing, but in three hundred years, you will be really good at things and your entire life up until today will seem like just an afternoon.
“Heck! Ponies aren't adults until we’re thirty! I was just starting… Uh… Well I was ten years ahead of my age group in school… Bad example… Oh! Rainbow was barely starting High School at your age. If you were a pony instead of a changeling, you would still be a child. Time is relative to who and what you are, Jade. You’re immortal now, you have all of eternity to grow however you like! Don’t worry about who you are now, just seek improvement.”
Jade’s lips pursed into a frown. “But, I have to get the nobles to like me and-”
“Sure,” I agreed, cutting her off, “it would be best to get everything done soon. And I’m helping you do that. I’m working on arranging private meetings with the Barons, we took care of them seeing you, now it’s time to slowly work the political system… But you want to know what the worst case scenario is?”
Jade nodded, “I’ve been worrying about that even since the meeting…”
“The current Dukes will step down from rule, passing it to their children in about seventy years.” I said giving Jade a grim smile. “About a hundred and fifty years after that, their children will pass the titles to their Grandchildren. Those grandchildren don’t exist yet. They will grow up hearing about the friendly changeling Queen who helped save the world back in their grandparents days, who nopony has helped with the one thing she wants to do, and they will give you some land.”
Jade's ears flattened angrily, “Seriously? I can just wait and get land someplace? Why the buck are we even… Why!?”
“Because do you really want to wait that long?” I asked. “Also part of the reason Equestrians tolerate permanent immortal rulers is we have agreed to work on their timescales.”
“Oh…” Jade said, frowning slightly. “I… Yeah, I can’t actually imagine waiting two hundred years.”
I nodded. “I can’t either. But you know who can? Celestia. To use the day analogy again, Celestia would just have to wait around ten hours. See why we need to make efforts to work with everypony else? If we don’t we will loose… Well, our equinity. So yes, we are jumping through the hoops to get you a home for your people so it happens soon. But if worst comes to worst, in a generation or two, you’ll have it as long as you haven’t turned evil. Don’t worry, just be patient.”
“Huh…” Jade said to herself. “I need to process this.”
“Awesome!” I exclaimed with a grin. “Because I want to read these notes! Take all the time you need.”
Jade pulled one of the chairs back from the table and sat down. I returned to the notes, scanning through them to try and build the narrative they created in my mind. I needed to know what happened here. This was real history!
It began when Clover fell into a rift, where she had reportedly died. She survived, but was dying, so Starswirl built this place here where she could live for nearly ever because her illness was apparently tied to the passage of time on Equis. While staying here, Clover developed several arts she had been working on before Discord’s reign, one of which was an art involving things called ‘Descriptive’ and ‘Linking’ books.
Apparently she had happened upon a traveler who showed her the art a long time ago, but never did much with it due to other projects. However, the art allowed you to create a book which described a world, and then another book referencing it. Together these worked to allow you to travel between dimensions, like the mirrors did, only the Descriptive Book defined the place you wished to go to, so if you could write one, you could go anyplace.
There were rules. Clover learned them as she went. It was definitely going to a place as well, rather than making the place by writing the book. She learned that by trying to create a world that specifically had a cure for her in it. That book didn’t work. Meaning the places you could go were real, and existed independently of any tome you might pen.
At first Clover simply had been looking for a cure. But she began to start finding things which she believed could help ponykind in the worlds she found. Starswirl began helping her explore, and the two used their discoveries to do many things. Apparently modern apples are an alien fruit.
After some time traveling, the two began to notice certain small things. With an infinite multiverse there should be infinite varied possibilities. But there were not. Every single universe bigger than a single world shared certain small attributes, and the same physical laws. Finding this weird, the two began to search for answers.
They called this their ‘Great Quest’. Unfortunately, after a note mentioning Clover discovered something which made their quest extremely dangerous they stopped talking about it in much detail. All I could learn was that it was extremely important they finish their quest, but based on Clover’s message on the door, the fact she wasn’t here-
“Oh my gosh!” I yelped.
“What?” Jade exclaimed, jumping into the air, wings buzzing loudly.
“I haven't looked into any of these doors! Clover might be sleeping in the other room right now!” I exclaimed running to the closure of the two doors and throwing it open wide with my magic.
I was faced with an empty bedroom. One desk, an open book atop it. One candle holder. One small alien looking bed with a steel box for a frame. One wardrobe.
No Clover.
I felt my ears droop. I supposed if she had been alive and here the note wouldn’t have been on the door. Realizing that the open book might be a journal, I felt my spirits lift as it might provide some light on the situation.
It definitely was a journal, the last entry sat on the two open pages, and a silver quill was resting tip first on the left hoof page.
Eighth of Snowfall, 5134 R.H.
My surprised gasp brought Jade into the room. “What is it?” She asked looking around quickly, a braced for combat look in her eyes.
“This journal’s last entry is my birthday!” I exclaimed in stunned surprise.
“Well, I mean there’s a one in four hundred chance of that… Is it that surprising?” Jade asked, landing with a thump next to the bed.
“No! I mean I was born on the Eight of Snowfall in the year nine hundred and thirty four of the Solar Era.” I said, still a little surprised. “That’s when this entry was written! It’s dated using the ‘Recorded History’ year system instead of the Era system, but this is my birthday, month, and year… That’s… well surprising.”
“Yeah,” Jade agreed pursing her lips in thought, “that is pretty odd.”
I shook my head. “Coincidence… I’m just surprised I could have been alive while Clover was.”
I turned my attention back to the journal.
I must be brief in this entry. You have my apologies. I fear this will be the last and I hope my journal is of use to you, my heir to be.
Starswirl has told me the twins have vanished without trace from his library. He begged me to divine their location, and while I could determine one remained on Equis, the other has been flung from our universe. Our Quest must have at last been discovered by the powers that be. Why they did not strike at us directly, I know now.
Starswirl and I will make one last trip to the Deadworld to gather all the power we can, then meet with our ‘friend’, Vitae, to try and end this and hopefully retrieve the twins. We are not at all ready. We will likely fail.
I am glad I have prepared for the last two thousand years to guide you to follow in my path. My paranoia is justified, it would seem.
Remember the three golden rules. You can not create a world, that always fails. (Yes you should be able to find one like anything you can imagine, because there are infinite universes. You can’t. That’s clue number one that something is wrong.) You can learn facts about other existing worlds via my scrying spells, and record them until a book is completed. Since all worlds are somewhat similar, you can also reuse facts from other worlds. Things that work, work, things that don’t never will.
You must not forget to write safety locks in a Linking Book or you will cause a violent collapse of both universes with overuse.
Do not trust a jet black stallion who calls himself Vitae Deus. I don’t care that Starswirl trusts him, I don’t. You will meet him eventually, as all Travelers do when they come to our world. That is as suspicious as an unshifted Changeling. I don’t know why Starswirl can’t see that... If I am not here when you find this, I blame him.
I have locked all my existing books with my spellbook. It must be finished before you can use any other Linking Book. This is to force you to take your time. Do not rush anything.
Good luck,
-Clover
I took a long slow breath. “Yeah… Okay… This is definitely pretty important.”
“What’s important?” Jade asked.
“From what I can tell, Clover and probably Starswirl died trying to do something, and intend for whomever found this library to finish it for them. And that something is big and very important.” I summarized.
Jade nodded, “Alright. What do we do?”
“We?” I asked curiously.
“I.. I know I’m not very good at much, but if two of the world’s most powerful mages died trying to do something, it had to have been pretty important… I can’t not help if I can!” Jade stated firmly, giving me a very serious look.
It was the sort of look that said there was no way in tartarus I was going to get her to change her mind. A look that made me remember that despite not knowing even one combat spell, this mare played bait for one of the most dangerous forces in the world. The sort of serious look of someone whose morals wouldn’t let them stand by and do nothing when there was important work to do.
The sort of look of somepony with that rare blend of brave to the edge of stupidity, a mind set that said ‘I am expendable’, and the ironclad sense of duty that makes for a hero.
I decided that I liked Jade.
“Well, I don’t know what we do yet.” I answered, giving Jade a look of acceptance. “Because we need to find the rest of the pages before we can do anything else, according to the journal.”
“Alright, I’ll get Dusk, David, and Lily, and we work this all out in a day or so, then do whatever needs to be done.” Jade said decisively.
“No!” I quickly objected holding up a hoof.
“Why not?” Jade asked, in mild shock. “We’ll need help!”
“You don’t get it!” I hissed. “The two most powerful mages I am aware of kept this secret for millennia! Clover’s journal states she was paranoid, and based on the rest of the entry, justifiably so. We do not breath a single word of this to anypony! Not until we know everything and can find a safe way to discuss it.
“I’m not going to tell Celestia. I’m not going to tell Luna. I’m not telling Flash, and I’m his marefriend! Heck, I’m not going to tell Fluttershy and if Flash would be okay with it I would also be her marefriend! I’m not telling anypony.”
Jade pursed her lips to object, but then paused, nodded slowly and said, “You’re right. We do at least need to know the details first. Maybe the library will have a helpful guide?”
I nodded. “It’ probably will. To the library!” I exclaimed quickly trotting out the door to the other white door.
“You’re a bit too happy about all of this…” Jade muttered, probably thinking I wouldn’t hear.
“Oh, I’m sorry that my two biggest heroes ever left a quest behind for me to follow!” I said teasingly, opening the library door with my magic.
It was smaller than I expected. An octagon. Seven pony lengths across from corner to corner. Wooden walls paneled in a light red stained color. Floor the same as the rest of the home. One large brass chandelier with glowing crystals in place of candles set in the middle of a ceiling painted like the sky over Canterlot at night.
The wall left of the door held a fireplace. The wall to its left had a bench for reading on. The wall left of that held a map of Equestria. The wall directly across the room held a large bookshelf
filled to capacity with books (Well, large by everypony else’s standards. This was about the size of my summer reading shelf.). The wall to it’s left held a massive sheet of parchment which was covered in thousands of tiny lines, and labeled ‘Known Worlds’. I decided to avoid that headache for now. To its left was another bench. The wall next to it and also the door was blank.
“Okay Twilight… You’re in Clover’s Library… Just cross over to a shelf…” I said slowly to myself as I crossed the floor.
Jade giggled. “I know you said you like boo-”
“No, I love books.” I corrected, taking a volume down from the shelf with my magic.
I gently traced my hoof along it’s red leather cover embossed with gold- oh…
My ears drooped. This was horrible! Simply awful. This was the worst possible thing!
It was printed in Jade’s changelish dialect. I couldn’t read it!
Why? Why must this be?
Jade zipped over to me and wrapped me in a tight hug. “Please stop! That tastes super bad! I’ll fix it! Just stop feeling that emotion! I don’t want to hurl on floors this nice!”
“I can’t read this language…” I whimpered holding up the book for her to see.
Jade glanced at the title. “Oh… I could read it too you.”
“But… But I want to read all of them… And you won't always be here with me every time…” I lamented.
“Well… How about you teach me magic, and I teach you to read my language?” Jade offered. “You’re the one who said we have all the time in the world, right?”
That’s right. We did! But also… Books… I needed them!
I took a deep breath and tried to collect myself. “Okay…”
I could do this. I’ve learned harder. I’d have this done within… a month? Maybe two? I could wait that long. Possibly… Probably… Most likely...
“We can start now, okay?” Jade said gently guiding me to the bench and sitting on it. “Let’s start with the title… Huh… So, this book is called ‘Enigma’.”
I facedesked.
6 Red Hooved
Dusk - 12th of Solarus ‘15 EoH - Late Morning
So, that was what a hotel bed was like. Never again.
I rolled over and slid out of the hellish torment that had surely been designed by my brother and proceed to pop every single vertebra in my spine back into place. A simple stretch didn’t cut it. I’d have to use magic to get the job done. Fortunately, Derpy hadn’t noticed the faint gold shimmer, she was busy getting out of her own voluntary torture device on the other side of the room.
“Nnn…” She moaned, “I’ve literally slept on pointy rocks more comphies…”
I watch her to a little hoping-skip sort of dance of joint pops, and winced. “Yeah… Healing potions should come with the room… Who knew a bed could hurt that much. Must have been built out of the bones of an ice giant and anointed with the blood of a silver dragon.” I joked.
“Nah,” Derpy said with a little grin, “probably just built by a dubious company for one of their bunkers.”
I cracked a smile, even though she had no idea who I was, Derpy still found the joke funny. I wonder how hard she would have laughed if she’d known the joke was ‘this bed is so bad it hurts gods.’.
I’d had a great night, and Derpy was awesome, but sadly I had work to do. First off, find an apartment or something in Ponyville for the sake of looking like a normal pony. Second, my home dimension was not exactly welcoming to me now, I should get my stuff out of it.
“Well… Thanks for letting me share a room with you,” I said feeling the urge to leave before a nice evening of chatting and talking spilled over into a whole day of chatting and talking.
That would be nice, but well, I was pretty sure Dawn had found some way to sell my stuff at a garage sale by now.
“Aww… Taking off right away?” Derpy asked with a frown, then winced. “Darn it… The bed messed up my wings.”
She sat down and stretched a wing forwards, gently preening her feathers. I frowned sympathetically as she started to painstakingly push each feather back into place.
“That looks very irritating.” I said to keep a conversation rolling.
“You have no idea!” She lamented between licks and nudges of her features, “I didn’t even know hotel's were allowed to have low-thread sheets anymore.”
“How’s the thread count make a difference?” I asked curiously.
“Lower thread count, bigger holes between fibers. Bigger holes, more chances for feathers to get caught in them as you move. The more that happens the worse your wings will be… Pegasi friendly sheets are always above six hundred… Or enchanted.” She answered, quickly adding, “Uh… This will take about a half hour… I’d understand if you wanted to take off but, well, I was hoping to get breakfast at least. And I remember saying you can live with me while looking for a place of your own. Wouldn’t you want to see the place?”
I visibly winced as she pleaded with her crossed golden eyes for me to stay. It would have been hard to leave before, with just her cuteness keeping me here. But now, after the whole evening spent getting to know one another? This mare had traveled the world over looking for home, been through more than most and faced it all with her cheerful grin.
Derpy was a mare who had buried many friends along the roadside, mourned them, even avenged them, but never lost her happy carefree nature. My brother had decided to give her both barrels pointblank, and she took it like it was just a spit wad. I admired the hell out of that.
It literally hurt to lie to her… But I had to. I’d screwed up with the direct approach last time. She needed to know me first. I couldn’t make the same mistake twice. Half-truths were the best I could do, and even they felt wrong.
“I… I do want to stay.” I started truthfully. “But well… I need to get my things from my parents. I don’t want to subject you to that… I’ll probably be at it all day too. I can find your place, I’ll just meet you there.”
Her ears fell sympathetically. “They live nearby? I’m sorry… Oh! I can have a nice drink waiting for you when you get to my house! Not an alcoholic one, but still really good!”
“Don’t sweat it,” I sighed, “I’ll have my cigs to calm myself with.”
“You smoke?” Derpy asked with a critical frown.
“Uh, yeah. Is that a problem?” I asked in return.
“Well… No… I guess not. I just hate the smell.” Derpy admitted, “And the taste…”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s easy enough to not smoke up somepony’s home. I’m not addicted.” I answered truthfully. “I normally only smoke my own hoof rolled stuff too, just tobacco, no crap. I like the flavor.”
Her ears flipped back up to a happy pose. “Oh! That’s completely different then! As long as you can control it, it’s not going to be a problem… Just um… If we get serious please use mouthwash before kisses, okay?”
I smirked. “Already thinking of kisses, huh?”
She stuck her tongue out at me playfully then went back to preening. “Well… I’ll see you in Ponyville later today then. I’m going to fly back, 'cuz uh… Didn’t bring enough money for a double bedroom and the train back… Heh…”
I felt my heart fall a bit, “I’m sorry! You could have said something, I’d have slept on the floor of a single… Been more comfortable anyways.”
“Don’t worry!” Derpy giggled, “I’m a great flier! Just a bad lander… Without covering one eye at least. I’ll be home in a few hours. Uh… Hey, how will you get back with your things without train fare?”
“I’ve got friends.” I said giving her a small grin to help the deflection skate by.
“Oh! Right, I remember, you said hi to them last night.” Derpy said nodding to herself. “Well, as long as you have help… See you later then?”
I nodded. “Yep! Big oak tree next to Eyesore Palace, right?”
“Right.” Derpy replied with a completely straight face.
“I’ll see you there later then.” I promised moving to the hotel room door to make my exit and avoid the post-stating-I’m-about-to-leave conversation every mortal ever seems to do.
“Is that a date?” Derpy said teasingly.
I put a hoof on the door knob. It would be easy to giggle say ‘goodbye’ and leave. I didn’t have to make a counter-joke an-
“Sure is! Bye cutie.” I said on autopilot, in a serious tone.
God dammit…
I stepped through the door before I could make a bigger idiot out of myself, closing the door an instant before she replied, “Bye!”
Oh great Dusk… You just made yourself look like a lonely chick trying to hard to look cool. You know what, you pretty much are. Hopefully, that doesn't bite you in the plot.
I quickly looked around the hallway. Empty. Just a long straight stretch of white walled, gold decorated, red carpeted Canterlot fanciness. I hated how it took physically turning my head to see that. Stupid lack of three-sixty vision…
I braced myself for the transition to six-dimensional space, closed my eyes, stepped left… And found myself having literally just stepped a bit to the left. Same hallway, same carpet, not my intended destination of my old living room.
“Huh.” I mused, shrugging to myself.
It had been a while since I messed up a dimension hop. I must have been just a bit nervous about having looked like a needy dork just now.
I took a short breath to calm myself, closed my eyes, focused again, and stepped to the left.
Still in the hallway.
“Seriously?” I grumbled to myself. “She’s cute, but not anchoring you to this dimension cute!”
One more bucking time. Close eyes. Picture home in all of it’s detail. The flat light emitting sky. The infinite flat plane of hills, forests, plains, and deserts. The small city inhabited by my fellow deities, each home unique to it’s creators desires. The small room set in a dirt lot that I called my own.
I could see it, feel it, smell it. My memory was perfect. It burned in my mind like a beacon, I was properly attuned, the world consumed my every thought. I stepped left, sure to cross the boundary of space and arrive home.
I felt my shoulder thump into a wall. Panic instantly filled me past the breaking point!
“No! Home!” I barked, throwing myself left, not caring about the wall in my way.
My shoulder rammed into the wall again. Then again. And a third time. I felt the plaster start to give way.
“Oh sure! The matter just gives way!” I growled, panic igniting rage.
The hotel room door flew open, Derpy jumping out, going from ready to fight to concerned almost instantly. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“I can’t go home!” I barked unthinkingly, ears flattening in anger.
“Oh… Do you need help facing your parents?” She offered, “I know you don’t know me well but-”
“No! I mean I physically can’t go! Watch!” I growled.
I closed my eyes, focused, and stepped left, hitting the wall again. I opened my eyes to find Derpy giving me a curious look.
“See!?” I grumbled, “I should be home now, but noooo! Suddenly meta-spatial barriers apply!”
“You’re not from this world, are you?” Derpy asked, still curiously looking me over.
Oh… bucking… sonofa… “Ponyfeathers…” I groaned, letting myself fall to the floor as I held my head in my hooves. “So much for blending in…”
There went a whole night of work. A budding relationship I had liked. All that work, wasted…
“Is this your first time in another world? What magic type are you able to use? I don’t recognize the golden glittery stuff, but you’re probably just not using a clear enough focus.” Derpy asked in a surprisingly helpful and kind tone.
“Uh… what?” I asked slowly looking up at her.
“I’m not…” She started, biting her lip in search of words, “Well, I was born here… But I didn’t grow up here. The journey I told you about… Uh… It kinda was through a few different universes… You don’t have to be afraid! I’m a Traveler too! We can talk, maybe I can help you home.”
“The flying buck is a Traveler?” I asked, emotions ping-ponging from panic to anger to panic, to curiosity and back again.
Derpy gently took my hoof and led me back into the hotel room, closing the door with her wing as we passed through. “It’s… Not a good idea to talk about it in a hallway.” She said as she let go of my hoof.
“Seriously, what is a Traveler?” I asked, a mix of horror and wonder creeping up in my mind as I realized that Derpy had said universes, plural.
Traveler implied someone who traveled meaning in this case probably someone who went between universes. A thing I didn’t know was a thing. Dimensions, sure, plenty of those within the universe, but other universes entirely? Oh my god, Echo had said multiverse!
“I think I really need to know exactly what is going on here.” I said doing my best to calm down and pay perfect attention.
Derpy’s ears drooped a little. Not in fear, but in embarrassment. “Oh… Heh… So I’m the first person you’ve met who's universe hopped too. This is so weird. I was on the other side of the this last time.”
She took a second to compose herself. “You obviously know there are two worlds, your home, and this one. Well, there’s actually an infinite number of worlds, some big and some small. A long time ago, a few different species found ways to travel between worlds. People who do this are called ‘Travelers’... Yeah I know not creative at all, but that’s just the word.
“Most of these ways are unique to a species, I’m guessing yours is one of those, right? Uh, well anyways, there’s actually a lot of people who travel the multiverse, some for fun, some for profit, others for well, personal reasons. That’s what I did. I wanted to find my homeworld. Traveling is pretty popular with super science types, archmages, and other people like that, but sometimes common people find ways too.
“Some worlds are, or have, places for Travelers to meet and swap stories or trade goods. This isn’t one of those, Equis is pretty out of the way… Which made it very hard to find...
“So… What’s your story? Where are you from?”
“H-how?” I asked, reeling from the blow to my conception of this mare.
“How what?” She asked with a frown.
“How does a pony just… Go to another universe? You’re not even a unicorn!” I felt this needed to be addressed first.
“Oh! I use D’ni books.” She answered. “My mom taught me to write them. A Traveler helped her and her people set up the village I grew up in, and he left behind a few books. They are books that you write in magic glyphs that describes a real world in perfect detail that become a portal when finished… It’s tricky to make them, but at least they always work.
“I um… It would probably take a year to make a book to get you home, but if you tell me how you do it I might be able to do something to help.”
I blinked a few times and slowly realized that of all the people on Equis, Derpy might literally be the only one I could tell the truth too without her thinking of me as more than just a person. Even Lily saw me as a god, a friendly one, but a god none the less.
But Derpy? A mare who apparently had crossed universes just to find her home and live there? A mare who I now realized had befriended people of completely alien races and held them as true friends… We were in the same league, so to speak.
“Okay… So um… I’m actually from this universe.” I said honestly, “Just… Not the three dimensional part of it. I uh… I sort of am native to six dimensional space.”
Derpy’s eyes lit up with intrigue, “Really? Cool! I’ve never met a higher dimensional entity that acted like a person before!” Her ears instantly drooped. “Uh, I don’t mean to say you’re not a person. Just, well, usually people like you look like a ball of light or some huge tentacled scary thing, not well, a person. Also they act like… Um… Well you know...”
“Like they are better than you?” I asked with a long sigh.
“Yeah.” She returned blushing shyly. “Not to sound like a jerk myself or anything… I mean, you’re nice! So um… Just a quick question, is that what you really look like, or do you do that thing where people looking at you see what they think you should look like?”
“I have an actual body. This is what I loo- oh…” I said trailing off in sudden realization.
Of course I couldn’t go home. Echo expressly told me I had a body now. Only energy lifeforms could travel to the sixth dimension without help. I’d need a tool, or an energy based lifeform to help me… I was forever locked out of my home dimension.
“Are you okay?” Derpy asked in genuine concern.
I shook my head. “No… I realized why I can’t go home… And it’s super obvious…”
The inevitable wave of sadness hit me like a tsunami. I’d never had my vision blurred by tears before. It was scary, and that made the whole situation even worse!
“So I just revealed myself to you for no good bucking reason…” I continued, unable to stop talking. “Making a real relationship impossible because I’m not a mortal and you know that now so you won't treat me lik-”
I was interrupted by the sudden hug Derpy threw around my shoulders, “Don’t cry. It’s okay, I’m not going to leave you just because of who you are.”
She said who! Not what, or ‘because you’re a god’. Who. Like a person. An equal.
Thank you Uncle Luck!
I hugged her back. “Thank you… I… It’s just… I’ve always been the most hated god ever…”
“I’m sure that’s not true.” Derpy said without missing a beat. Then a few moments later, “Oh! So your species does the whole ‘gods’ thing? That’s cool!”
“Well… I’m not quite one of them anymore…” I sighed. “You know, you’re taking this really well.”
She nod-noded. “Of course. It’s not like I have a whole history of you as an earth pony in my mind. It would be hard for me to come to terms with this if there were, but well… Dusk, I’ve been to a world where… Hold that thought, what were your duties back when you were working with your ‘family’?”
Oh shit… Here we go. “I uh… I sorted souls into the appropriate afterlife for their deeds in life.”
Derpy smiled, “Okay! That’s less than I thought, actually.”
“Less?” I asked in surprise.
She nodded, “Mhm! I uh… Lost my book for the world, but I once lived in a place where I had a friend whose species literally lived in that worlds hell. Just on the first layer, but still. My point is you guys are just extra powerful people.
“Look at this universe! Celestia wakes up and literally moves the sun. Most universes I’ve been through would call her a god just for that. Sort of made me think that the gods for this universe, well, did more then move souls.” Her ears drooped as she finished. “No offense intended.”
“I also created the afterlives for each soul.” I added defensively. “But yeah… I sort of was the equivalent of a customer service rep…”
“That must have been hard…” Derpy paused, eyes widening a bit, “Oh! So uh… That means you fighting with your brother…”
“Yeah…” I sighed. “Got most of the power knocked out of me.”
“So, your ‘friends’ were also gods?” She asked curiously. “I’m not in the middle of some kind of heaven & hell war because I hugged you, am I?”
I laughed, a half genuine half bitter chuckle, “No. That’s over. I lost. Those friends are mortals, they helped me with a plan to get rid of Chrysalis. That was my doing, by the way. Well, sort of. I meant for a lot less people to die but my brother… He found a way to kill me. I wasn’t there for the end.”
“That’s rough.” Derpy said, giving me another quick hug. “So, you’re a mortal now? Trying to just live a normal life?”
“Sort of… More like a different sort of god I guess. I’m just over Alicorn level, if I’m feeling my energy right. But yeah, I’ve got a shot at living a new life now.” I admitted. “Are you sure you don't think of me differently? Okay, you’ve traveled between universes, but you are a pegasus, right?”
Derpy blushed and grinned in embarrassment, eyes crossing, “Uh, well… I’m not a normal mare ether… Remember how I said I’d tell you about my mom later?”
Oh.
I nodded. “Yeah...” I said slowly.
“She’s a dragon.” Derpy said after a short pause. “A dragon from another universe, that’s pretty different from Equis dragons. And remember how I said she used a spell to help me do things her species could?”
“Ohhh…” I said, grinning a little bit. “So you’re not exactly a pegasus.”
She nodded, “Mhm. But well, um… I like my pony half best. So I came here to get to be a normal pony, or well, try to be. Also I wanted to know who my real parents were.
“But yeah! We both can travel between worlds, and both have abilities normal ponies don't, but are still ponies. Still just a couple mares. We’re the same!” She finished with an excited grin.
“Huh… We are, sort of.” I was forced to admit. “So, what’s this mean?”
“Well it means we both have somepony we don’t have to hide part of ourselves from!” Derpy said cheerfully.
Oh snap, it did! That was a pretty big deal actually.
Derpy continued. “But we’re getting off track! You said you wanted to get things from your home. How do you get there normally? I’m sure I can help!”
“It won’t work.” I sighed, “I forgot that matter doesn't like to cross over into the sixth. I have a body now, so I can’t go without help or a tool, or a portal. But for the record, normally I would just step over the meta-spatial barriers to the place I wanted to go.”
“Like teleporting?” Derpy asked taking a step to the side as she flicked a still feather-ruffled wing to try and shake the features into alignment.
“More like using a portal, really. It’s a spatial bridge.” A thought occurred to me, “I hope I can still do that at all!”
“Oh! We could test it!” Derpy pointed out eagerly. “Could you take us both back to Ponyville and save me the flight and um… You the however?”
“Yeah, if everything's working normally except for moving up past the fourth dimension, that’s the same as just walking across the room.” I replied, ears falling a little. “But, well… Going out on a date with you kind has me wanting to take a while to live a normal pony style life. I’m not a unicorn. I don’t want to be seen appearing out of nowhere.”
“We could appear in my house.” She suggested.
“Uh, no offense, but, obstacles. You have furniture, right?” I asked.
She nodded.
“If I haven't been somewhere before, I can't pinpoint my point of arrival without using a remote vision power that I don’t have anymore.” I sighed. “If you have a totally empty room, I can try that.”
She shook her head no, then sat down putting a wingtip to her lips in thought. After a few seconds Derpy’s eyes lit up, “Oh! There’s an abandoned house a few blocks from mine. I use it to Travel so if something follows me back they don’t go directly to my home first. It’s totally empty, the bank took everything I guess.”
“Totally empty?” I asked. “You’re sure there is absolutely nothing?”
“Just shelves here and there and an old bookcase near the front door.” She answered. “There isn't’ even a fridge, or oven.”
I took a few moments to consider it. It would save a lot of time. If the house was abandoned there wouldn’t likely be anypony there to see me. Unless…
“There won't be a repair crew or a realtor there by chance, will there?” I asked just to be sure.
“It’s been abandoned for almost fifty years now.” Derpy answered. “Since newer houses have been built, nopony has interested in it. There’s still the foreclosure sign from the bank on the front door.”
“Well, that should do nicely then. Pack up, and while you’re at it describe every last detail of that place you can to me, okay?” I asked.
“Okay!” Derpy agreed eagerly.
I sat back and listened.
It was a small house, one story, with a formerly lovely yard. The Ponyville standard waddle and daub exterior with a thatched roof on the outside, all the modern comforts mimicked through magic on the inside. It’s most unique feature was the large weeping willow tree in the front yard.
It was old and worn. The roof needed rethatched in many places. Some walls had the plaster daub crumbling away to show the lattice of sticks beneath. The only uncracked window looked out over the front yard, and it was uncracked because it was completely destroyed.
To be honest, I liked the sound of the place. It was a beat up old place that a loving hoof could make into something nice. Like a lot of the old junk I collected back at my old place, only a place I could put that junk into.
I figured if I could teleport successfully there, I’d see about buying it. It had to be cheap, being abandoned and rundown.
As Derpy slid her saddlebags onto her back I gently touched a hoof to her left shoulder, and not wanting to ruin my concentration by talking, stepped forwards.
The room around us warped, folding and sliding into a new arrangement. The floor beneath us was simple planks. The window to my right a shattered hole. The ceiling was rough cut timber, and water stained walls surrounded us on all sides. A successful warp.
“Well, looks like I’m okay to go other places. Good.” I said happily.
Derpy groaned and staggered away from me towards the nearest wall. “Ugh… That… Uff…”
“That made you dizzy?” I asked in surprise. “It’s never made anyone dizzy as far as I can-”
“Strabismus.” Derpy moaned, leaning against the wall, resting a hoof and head on it for support.
“Huh?” I asked, cocking my head.
“Eyes… Should have closed eyes…” She added.
“Oh!” I winced, “Sorry. I forgot you’re cross eyed.”
“It’s alright,” she said taking a deep breath and let go of the wall, “it’s getting better now. Just, ugh… Seeing ten of everything moving all differently, guh.”
Derpy took a step away from the wall and wobbled a little. I took a step to try and steady her as she let go of the wall. Just before I could gently steady her, she took a second step, her hoof catching on the uneven floorboards, prompting her to fall flat onto her chest! Her left rear hoof kicked out as she landed, smashing a hole in the wall about as easily as one would put a hole into a sheet of paper.
“Ow…” Derpy groaned.
“You alright?” I asked in concern.
She nodded and stood up, dizziness still there but nowhere near as bad. “The ow’s are reflexive. Is the wall okay?”
“Uh...” I turned to look at the hole, she could easily have put her hoof clean through it.
The hole only penetrated the inside of the wall, and looked like somepony had gouged a chunk of plaster out with a sledgehammer. The particular chunk hadn’t even been dry rotted.
“Geeze. You have one heck of a kick!” I whistled.
“Half dragon.” She admitted with a blush. “Do you know how many thing’s I’ve broken because I get excited and forget how fragile ponies make everything?”
“A lot I bet.” I chuckled.
I was about to turn away from the hole when I noticed a bit of silver glinting from the lower left side of the hole. A curious leaning in look showed the corner of a steel box embedded in the plaster.
“Huh…” I mused, before gently scraping some of the plaster away to see exactly what this was. “This house is pretty old, does it have electrical wiring?”
Derpy shook her head. “It’s not pre-arcane power old. Why?”
“There’s a metal box embedded in the wall.” I informed, scraping more plaster aside now that I knew it wasn't just a junction box.
Derpy hummed and moved alongside me, moving into help scrape away at the wall. After a few minutes work the plaster was all pulled away and what was left was a small, steel scroll case lid facing out towards us, with a simple four leaf clover etched into the center of the lid.
“Well, this is interesting.” I mused looking at the lid. “We have to open it, right?”
Derpy nodded. “Totally!”
Another few minutes of work had the box completely free of the wall. A series of runes ran along the edges of the lid, forming a simple ward spell. I rolled my eyes and pushed the spell’s charge out of the steel and into the air, letting the magic return to the aether.
“Uh, that’s warded.” Derpy warned as I moved to open the latch.
“Disarmed it.” I grunted.
As soon as I could, I popped the latch my curiosity rose even further. Sitting in the box was a wax sealed scroll case, also warded. This ward was much more well done, the inks used to inscribe the runes held diamond dust, letting it contain much more thaumaturgic current than a simple steel etching.
“You got this one too?” Derpy asked hopefully.
“Yeah, but it’s a bit more tricky.” I replied.
I took the case and pushed my magic into it, slowly nudging the charged spell out of place, rune by rune, until the original energy was scattered throughout the air. That done, I retracted my own energy, and twisted open the scroll case.
Instantly a bolt of lightning slammed into my chest, throwing me a good five feet across the room!
“Luna!” Derpy exclaimed, “Are you alright?”
That clever dick boobytrapped the inside of the case too!
“Yeah. Fine. Just tossed is all.” I informed as I stood back up. “Is the scroll melted?”
Derpy picked up the scroll case, and stuck a wingtip inside, sneaking out a rolled piece of paper. “Yep it’s okay!” She quickly transferred the page to her hooves and unrolled it, nearly dropping it in surprise. “Whoa!”
“What is it?” I asked curiously.
“It’s a page from a D’ni book!” Derpy exclaimed.