Derpy woke up on the couch with a pounding headache. The whole room was spinning around her as she tried to stand up. Her dizziness worked against her however and she fell to the floor, letting out a soft groan. She forced herself up and stumbled over to the kitchen where she turned on the sink and started splashing water on her face. Once everything around her stopped moving on its own she looked out at the wreckage before her. Empty bottles of wine were scattered across the floor as were a few candles and foods. The night before Carrot Top wanted to test Tumor's knowledge on going out to a fancy restaurant. Thinking back, he had done everything perfectly. He had set the table by laying down a red table cloth across it and decorating it with warm colored flowers and lighting candles in the center. She wasn't sure how but he had also removed their light switch and replaced it with a dimmer switch to 'set the mood' as he said. Thinking back a little harder she remembered that he had also cooked, but couldn't figure out what, he also poured everyone a glass of wine. They started eating and drinking, and then drinking, and then drinking, and then drinking.

The more she tried to remember the worse her headache became. She placed a hoof to her head and started rubbing her temples. "Dangit, this why I stopped drinking." She said, silently reminding herself to avoid alcohol forever. "Wait...where are those two?" She asked herself. Derpy walked downstairs to find Tumor, but there was no sign of him. She checked Carrot Top's room, she wasn't there. She was about to go outside but noticed an odd smell coming from the bathroom. She opened the door to see a lot of their silverware decorating the floor along with a few carrots. Some where full, some were sliced. There was also a pineapple sitting on the sink. Her eyes continued to scan the room before resting on the tub and widening. Inside tub was a combination of carrot soup, Carrot Top, and at the base of it all was Tumor. "Oh...my...gosh..."

Carrot Top was out cold, laying in the tub of soup with her head nuzzled on Tumor's naked chest. She awoke slowly as she felt her body being shoved back and forth. She lifted her head and opened her eyes to see Derpy as the source of the shaking. "Derpy?" She said drowsily. "What are doing? Why are you in my room?"

Derpy stopped shaking her. "Umm, Carrot Top. You're not in your room."

"What?" She looked around and noticed that she indeed was not in her room. She was in the bathroom. "What am I doing in here?" She looked down and suddenly she was wide awake. She screamed, causing Derpy to cringe and Tumor to wake up violently.

"Fuck! What? What's wrong?" He asked, sitting up and looking around. Once he saw that there was no danger he took a breath and calmed down before letting himself become submerged in the soup bath. He sniffed the air. "Jesus fuck. It smells like a god damn freak show in here." He looked at contents of the tub and sniffed again, even lifting his hand and licking one of his fingers. "Oh, that's probably what that is." He looked up at Carrot Top who was just staring at him. "What?"

"D-did...did we?" She asked.

"Did we what? Speak woman." He looked at the position they were in. "Oh, I got it." After figuring out what she meant he reached down and started feeling around his waist. "Well, I don't seem to be wearing pants, but you're kind of laying on to of my dick."

She blushed and started to crawl off of Tumor, but stopped as she felt a strange sensation shoot through her body, letting out an audible moan as she did so. Her body froze and her face started to heat up.

Tumor's body tensed up and his eyes shot wide open. "Oh my hell..."

Derpy looked at them in confusion. "What's wrong? Are you two okay?"

Carrot Top looked back at Tumor, still frozen in place. "You felt that to, didn't you?"

He nodded. "Yep."

"You're... You're-" She couldn't seem to find the words to say what was going on. She just remained still with her face burning tomato red.

"I am inside of you." He said, watching her face turn a deeper shade of red. "And with that I can only assume that you are likely full of my baby gravy." She didn't seem to react, it was almost like she was a statue. A soft furry statue with very warm and squishy insides. So maybe she was more like a plushy or a stuffed animal. Either way, he had no complaints.

Derpy was also in shock. Standing next to the tub with her mouth agape. "You two...did...it?"

"It would appear so." Tumor replied, reaching out of the tub and grabbing a spoon. He dipped the spoon in the soup he and Carrot Top were laying in and put it into his mouth. "Hmm, not bad. I'd say it needs salt, but at this point in time that would probably just hurt like hell."

Derpy's shocked face turn to one of disgust. "Tumor, that's gross!"

"Fuck you, this is good eating."

After a bit of fumbling around and falling all over the place, they all managed to make it to the living room with their lives. Carrot Top and Tumor were sitting in separate parts of the room with towels wrapped around them, but still smelling like broth.

Derpy took a seat next to Tumor on the couch. "So, does anyone remember exactly what happened?"

Carrot Top nodded, indicating that she didn't.

Tumor raised his hand. "I do."

Carrot Top looked at him, part of her slightly frightened. "How do you remember? We went through 12 bottles of wine.

"Fuck you, that's how. Wait, I already did." He said with a cocky smile. "So do you guys wanna know or not?"

They both nodded, but Carrot Top seemed hesitant.

"Okay, so what happened was this: The dinner was fantastic, I fucking nailed that shit,10 out of 10. Anyway, I had made carrot soup since we have so many of the fucking things and it was great. I loved it, you guys loved it and we were just having a grand old time. We ended up polishing off the first bottle of wine faster than expected so Carrot Top went to the wine cellar, great job at hiding the from me by the way, and brought up another one. That's when we started acting a little weird. We joked, we laughed, we decided fuck the glasses and had our own bottles to drink out of. It was an alcoholics paradise and it was awesome. Derpy passed the fuck out on top of the table after showing off some kick ass dance moves so I carried her to the couch and left her there for the night. Carrot Top was still hungry and by then we were already fucking gone and I thought it would be funny to fill the bathtub with soup. So I did and she thought it was hilarious, she even dared me to bathe in it. I, being the daredevil that I am, stripped down and hopped in. After a while I started talking about how warm it was. Carrot got curious and hopped in with me. We just kind of laid around in their but she started moving around and we kept brushing against each other which awoke a few things. That's when Carrot got a little too ballsy and I mean that in more ways than one." He looked over at Carrot Top to see that she seemed to be focused on the floor. He knew she was upset. "If it helps, it was hardly even sex. I was basically raped and it was fucking fantastic." He figured that would be a good stopping point and just let it all soak in.

Carrot Top had her face buried in her hooves. "I feel so stupid."

Derpy got up and walked over to comfort her friend. "It's okay, Carrot Top. You didn't do anything bad."

Tumor nodded. "Take it from guy you spent the night with in a soup tub, there was nothing bad about it. I mean, damn! You really knew what you were doing. How many stallions have you been with?" He asked.

"I was a virgin." Carrot Top explained.

"Bullshit." He said with a blank expression.

Derpy shot him a glance. "Tumor, she's serious."

"Really? But she...you know what, I'm not even gonna say. I'm just going to sit back and enjoy some happy ass memories of last night." He leaned back in the couch, letting out a relaxed sigh as he did so. He suddenly felt something hard smack him in the back of the head. "Ow, bitch!" He looked up to see Derpy staring daggers at him. "What?" She continued to glare at him until he finally understood what she wanted. He got up and walked over to Carrot Top, putting his hand on her back. "Hey, I'm sorry if I'm upsetting you. You know my fucked up humor, I can't help it." She remained still, continuing looking down at the floor. "Fuck...this is my fault. I got drunk, I let things escalate, and thanks to me you're not a virgin anymore." He took his hand off of her and leaned against the wall letting his body sink to the floor. "You're not the stupid one here, I am."

Carrot Top and Derpy both looked at him, surprise washing over there features. They had never heard him talk like this and for once he actually sounded upset. Carrot Top got out of her seat and walked over to Tumor, wrapping her hooves around him in a hug. "Its not your fault. Look we were both drunk and acting stupid, those two things mixed together always equals up to some sort of mistake. I may not have wanted to lose my virginity, but at least I lost it to someone I can trust."

Tumor was more than taken back by her sudden display of affection alone, but after hearing those words he could have swore had died and gone to hell. Regardless, he decided to return the hug. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, holding her tightly. He looked up and saw Derpy standing by the couch, silently watching them. He held out one if his arms. "Come on bubble butt, get your ass over here."

Derpy smiled and joined the two in their embrace. Today had been all sorts of weird and she could only imagine what tomorrow would be like. "Hey, Tumor?"

"What?"

"You've managed to explain just about everything that happened, but what was with the pineapple?"

"Oh, that...that was...son of a bitch, I can't remember what it was for. I don't even know how we got the damn thing."