All in the small group were resting peacefully around the wrecked castle room. Twilight on the table with Mist coiled around her, Tumor laying across several stacked chairs, and Jack on the floor leaning against a pillar whilst wearing a fake mustache. As they all laid about Jack started to sniffle lightly, then it started getting louder until finally he sneezed hard enough to shoot a large fireball across the the room. It hit the wall with a loud boom and shook the castle, causing all who resided within to wake up, groaning unhappily.

Tumor held a hand to his head as he pulled himself up, going against his brain's command to stay down. "Holy god, this is worse than that party back in Mexico; Remember that?" Tumor continued his story as Jack nodded in agreement, "I woke up in the middle of the streets in Las Vegas holding onto a bathtub full of mayonnaise." Jack started laughing to himself, remembering just how stupid his brother had looked at the time.

Twilight got up and started rubbing the sleep from her eyes before locking onto the dragon who she was nuzzled in. At first she was just confused, then the memories of the night before started flooding back. "Oh my Celestia." She said, putting a hoof to her mouth and running off to another room, he face turning beat red before she left.

Mist blinked a few times and shook her head, "What's her problem?"

"I don't know." Tumor said with a shrug, "Foreigners."

Jack made his way to the table as Mist tilted her head at Tumor, not understanding what he meant. "Hey," Jack started, "that's racist, dick. Or at the very least it's specist."

"I don't care, this headache is eating at every fucking brain cell I have." Tumor said miserably.

"Yep, all three of them." Jack insulted.

"Fuck you!"

"Hey, you know what the best cure for a hangover is?"

"What?"

"Keep drinking."

"...That is the best idea I have ever fucking heard."

Sebastian rose from the bed, the explosion having woke him up but not doing much else. He got to his feet and stretched his limbs before realizing that he was completely naked. Having noticed that now he looked around and managed to find his cloths folded and set onto a chair. After getting dressed he walked over to Maud who laid peacefully in the bed, but was not asleep. "Morning, Maud." He said plainly.

Maud turned her head to face her lover. "Good morning, Sebastian. Did you sleep well?"

"As well as I ever possibly could, I guess." He replied.

"I had a lot of fun last night." She commented, "Did you enjoy yourself as well?"

"I admit, I thought everything about it would have been inadequate, but you managed to prove otherwise."

Maud nodded, "I'm glad I could show you such a good time."

Before they could continue their conversation they were interpreted by the echos of what sounded like screaming. "It would seem as though the undesirable have awoken."

"Should we investigate the purpose of their yelling?"

"I think I'd prefer remaining in here, with you." He said, climbing back onto the bed and straddling her.

A blush appeared on Maud's emotionless face. "I believe I am in the condition for another few rounds."

"Tumor stumbled over to the castle doors, pushing against them in an attempt to get them open. "I need to go to her man, I need to find her." He said, his voice being a dead giveaway that he was already fairly intoxicated.

Jack stumbled over to his brother. "Dude, due, dude...I think it's a pull door."

"What the fuck is a pole door?"

"No, you retard, a PULL door." Jack grabbed the nob to demonstrate, "Watch, you gotta pull it." He leaned back, the door openeing as he did so, before falling onto the ground. "See, bitch. Pull door."

Tumor made his way out of the castle, Jack pulling himself off of the floor so he could join his brother on his quest. After a bit of wandering they found themselves on the edge of Sweet Apple Acres. When Tumor couldn't find who he was looking for he started after the first pony he could find, a big red stallion with an orange mane and a green apple cutie mark.

Big Macintosh was out enjoying the fresh air and getting ready to do his chores, but felt as though something was off. He started to look around until he saw two humans wobbling their way over to him. It took him a second to recognize him, but Big Mac soon remembered the drinking game that happened a while back. H wasn't happy with the way that he was all over his sister, so his presence here didn't make him happy. However, since he figured that this human liked to insult others for a laugh that maybe he could give him a taste of his own medicine. "Well howdy, Tumor. Aint seen you here since you was dragged off by that yellow mare. Thought she woulda' clipped ya fer sure." He said with a chuckle.

Tumor gave Mac a dirty look before sticking his hand in the stallions face with his middle finger raised up high. "Fuck you! Where is Applejack?"

Big Mac growled, "Y'all best keep yer filthy claws off of me and mah sister!" He yelled, smacking Tumor's hand away.

Jack pushed his way pass Tumor and got in Big Macs face, "Yo, did you just hit my brother?"

"Yes, I-"

"That's my fucking brother!" Jack yelled, cutting him off.

"What you doin' hittin me, bitch!?" Tumor yelled, also getting in Big Macs face, "What!? Do you wanna fight me, punk!?"

"Yo, back the fuck up!" Jack yelled to his brother before walking to the side.

"What you want me backing up from this chump for?" His eyes widened as he saw why Jack wanted him to move and took a few steps back.

Big Mac didn't even have a second to prepare for it, he turned around just in time to see a metal baseball bat flying into his head. He was knocked out the second the aluminum sport stick came into contact with his skull and he collapsed. Jack threw his arms down and flexed as he let out a victorious battle-cry. His yelling was pretty loud, apparently being loud enough to draw the attention of a certain orange farm pony.

Applejack, having heard all of the commotion, walked out from the barn to investigate. "Big Mac!" She called out, "Did ya hear that?" She looked around and saw the two humans standing over her brother's unconscious body, one of which was still holding a bat. "What in the hay!?"

"Juliet!" Tumor yelled before trying to walk over to her and falling face-first into the dirt.

Applejack watched Tumor walk over and fall, but then her eyes trailed up to Jack. "You mind tellin me why mah brother is knocked out at yer feet partner?" She asked with a stern look.

Jack stood in place, his body leaning randomly in different directions every so often before he looked at Applejack with a confused expression on his face. "You were talking to me?"

"Yes!" She yelled.

"Don't you fucking shout at me, whore! My brother came down here to win your heart and here you are judging us for defending your honor! Show some fucking respect, you little cunt!"

"How does knocking out Big Mac have anything to do with defending my honor!?"

"He was a little bitch! He brought shame to the Apple Family name!" He said, pointing the bat at her.

"Ah hope attackin mah brother was worth it, cause I'm gonna-"

"Can't hurt me if I'm asleep!" Jack gripped the bat tightly and smacked himself in the head with it. Applejack flinched as she watched this, the sound of metal meeting bone rang through her ears as he struck himself. Jack stumbled slightly, but wasn't knocked out, so he did it again; then he did it again, and again...and again. Still awake and still standing, Jack held the bat in his hands as small trickles of blood started to run down his forehead. As he fumbled around to keep the bat in his hands he could hear the faint sound of hoofsteps in the distance and when he looked over he could see a white unicorn holding a plastic bag in her mouth walking toward the farm. Jack looked at the bat and gave himself one more solid crack on the head with it and fell backwards, but not before tossing the bat into the air.

The bat landed next to Applejack who stared at it in disgust as Jack's blood ran down it. She was mortified by Jack's behavior and slightly confused as to why he threw his weapon so it would land beside her. She figured out just why he did it only seconds later though.

Rarity's blood-curdling scream could be heard for miles. She had come down to drop off an order Applejack had made to have her duds fixed up and when she arrived she saw both heroes of Ponyville laying unconscious in the dirt. One was face down so she couldn't see what was wrong with him, but the other laid face-up with blood going down his head and the bat sitting beside Applejack spoke many a story of what had transpired here just moments ago. "Applejack, how could you?"

Applejack tried to defend herself, but then Tumor suddenly sprang back to life. He didn't leave the ground, which made what he said sound so much worse. "Don't dare displease the fairest maiden of them all...Applejack." Tumor reached up and tried to grab at her, but his body finally shut down and he went limp as he passed out.

Rarity stared at Applejack in shock and awe. She had no idea her friend could do such a thing and to people who had a huge reputation around here. "How could you do this Applejack? Just look at them. They're nearly dead!" Rarity gasped and froze. "Oh no, I'm a witness. You're going to come for me next aren't you?" Applejack took a step forward as she tried to speech and assure Rarity that nothing had happen, but her friends over-reactive nature got the best of her and before she knew it the white unicorn was galloping madly down the trail away from Sweet Apple Acres, screaming all the while.

Applejack groaned loudly in annoyance before facehoofing and turning away from the farm's entrance. She walked over to Big Mac and gave him a few light shoves. When he started to come to she spoke to him with a comforting voice. "You okay there, brother?"

Big mac lifted his head slightly, but didn't get up. "Applejack? W-where are those two good-fer-nothin humans?"

"They got carried away and ended up hurtin themselves. Don't worry about it. I'm gonna get y'all some ice and we'll get you into the house, okay?"

Big Mac nodded in approval, "Eeyup."

Both of their ears twitched as they heard footsteps fast approaching them. Big Mac was the first to look over and quickly shoved Applejack aside. Right after he did this Jack came into her sight, holding the baseball bat like a golf club and swinging it as such straight into Big Mac's head. Once again, Big Mac was out cold and Jack threw his arms down and flexed as he let out another victorious battle-cry.

Author's Notes:

Baseball bat scenes were inspired by this funny ass video https://www.facebook.com/LoganAPaul/videos/425077247690458/