Author's Notes:

Before I fucking forget again, the purple dragon's name is actually Mist

Carrot Top didn't mind that Tumor's brothers were here. It would keep him out of the house which gave her some time to sit about and enjoy herself and be able to clean things up without worrying if he was going to blow up the house. However, it did have it's downfalls; She would sometimes get bored or if their was a job that required more than what she had she would be out of luck. Just moments ago she was attempting to take apart her kitchen sink to see what it wasn't draining properly, but she just couldn't seem to get it apart and she didn't have the bits to pay somepony else to fix it. So she set out to find her human friend so she could possibly get a hand in doing so. She figured he'd be over at Twilight's, that's where they usually were seeing how it was harder to break crystals than it was wood.

When she made it to the castle she knocked on the door and called out, "Hello! Anypony home?" After several seconds of no reply she pushed the castle door and it slowly creaked open. "Hello?" She entered the castle wearily, not knowing what she would find residing within. After a bit of wandering she found herself in a large dark room light up only by candles with a crystal table in the center. The table had a red cloth over it and was decorated with flowers, pastries, and steaming hot kettles. Seated at this table were three humans, each dressed up to fit with the decor. Tumor wore a plain suit consisting of black dress pants, a red button up shirt, a black vest, and topped it off with a black overcoat and tie. Jack was dressed almost the same but his shirt was white and the top few buttons were open, he didn't wear a tie or overcoat, and the sleeves on his shirt were rolled up to his elbows. Sebastian just wore a pair of black dress pants and a black button up in a similar manner as Jack but with his sleeves unrolled. For every human their was one female; By Tumor's side was Twilight wearing the same dress she had worn to the gala, beside jack was a purple dragon with a green bow on her neck, and with Sebastian was Maud who wore what looked like a blueish-gray blanket sheet. "What did I just walk into?" She asked herself.

Apparently she spoke too loud because Tumor's head spun around and looked directly at her. "We are having a god damn tea party!" He shouted at Carrot Top, making her jump slightly.

"This is so fucking gay!" Jack yelled shortly after Tumor.

"Hey, I think it's lovely." The dragon stated.

"Of course you do." Jack said in response.

Carrot Top looked over at Sebastian, half expecting him to blurt out something as well, however he remained quiet. At least until he noticed her gaze. "I enjoy most formal occasions, even with incompetent fools like my brothers."

"I concur, although I would find it much more satisfying if we had more well-mannered ponies." Maud said in her usual emotionless tone

She didn't really mind Maud, but Carrot Top flinched when Sebastian spoke. She would never get used to that voice of his; it's no wonder they call him a demon. "We'll, I was actually wanting to borrow Tumor for just a moment if that's okay."

"No, no it's not." Tumor said.

Twilight punched Tumor in the arm and shot him a glare as he winced. "Yes, it's perfectly fine. He can help you."

Tumor glared back at her before standing up and walking out of the castle with Carrot Top following behind him. "So what do you want?"

"I need help fixing the sink."

"...Really!? That's it! I'm in there trying to be a classy motherfucker and you stroll in because you're too impatient to wait for me to come home to fix your cum filled sink!"

"My WHAT filled sink!?"

Tumor froze before jumping high into the air, "Sink will be fixed before you get home!" He then flew off, shooting a large pulse of energy behind him so he could get to the house as fast as possible.

Carrot Top rolled her eyes. "What am I going to do with him?" She asked herself, walking back to her house with hopes that her sink would actually be taken care of by the time she got there. However, when she got there she saw Tumor climbing out from under the sink with a bucket full of...she had no idea what it was, but it was white, red, and gooey looking. "What the hay is that?"

"A little bit of me and..." He took a closer look at the gooey substance and gave it a quick sniff. "Grape fruit?"

Carrot Top stared at him disgust. "That's gross." She said as a shiver ran down her spine. "I can't believe I actually have feelings for you."

"Excuse me bitch?" He said, cocking an eyebrow at her.

Carrot Top froze as she realized what she had just said. "Nothing! Just...finish fixing the sink."

"It's already done." He tossed the bucket to the side and it landed with a thud, surprisingly not tipping over. "Now tell me what you just said.

"I didn't say anything." She denied, clearly lying through her teeth.

Tumor walked over to her, grabbing her by the jaw and forcing her to face him. "Tell me..."

"I did not say anything!" She yelled, "Now let me go you ass!"

He stared her down for a moment before finally releasing her and walking towards the door. "You know what, you can deny it all you want, and you can be as mad at me as the world can allow, but you know what you can't do?" He asked in the most serious tone she had ever heard him speak in.

Curiously she asked, "What would that be?"

To which he smiled and replied loudly with, "You can't UN SUCK THIS DICK!!!" With that he was out the door and in the air, likely flying back to Twilight's to continue what ever that monstrosity was.

Carrot Top growled angrily for a moment before a few quiet giggles escaped her throat. "Oh my Celestia, why is this kind of thing becoming more enjoyable?" She asked herself.

As Tumor flew back to Twilight's castle he thought about what Carrot Top had said before laughing like a maniac. He was more than pleased with his argument. She would never win anything against him no matter how hard she tried. He did enjoy that she tried though, it kept their friendship from getting too boring.

Tumor didn't bother knocking when he arrived, he simply pushed pass the doors and held his arms out as if expecting to be hugged. "I'm back baby!" When all eyes became focused on him he made sure to flip everyone off, he's overly excited mood making him feel untouchable.

Jack responded by following his example. "Fuck you too, bitch." Mist put a claw on Jack shoulder and nuzzled his cheek. It didn't help calm him down, but he would also never admit that he was enjoying the affection.

Sebastian and Maud rolled their eyes at him and continued the conversation they were having prior to his arrival.

Twilight waited for Tumor to reach them and sit down before pouring him a cup of tea. "So *hic* how did it go?"

Tumor stared at her in silence for a brief second. Twilight seemed a bit wobbly and her eyes weren't lidded symmetrically. He was about to ask if she was drunk but stopped himself and looked over at Jack who had a bottle of Serpent's Bite, an apple cider flavored whisky, sticking out of the pocket on his vest. "You bastard..." He said to his brother.

"What? You pissed cause I got the little pony princess drunk?"

"No, I'm pissed cause you've been holding out on me. Pour me a fucking shot you bitch!" Tumor used his powers to throw everything on the table onto the floor, only levitating about twelve small tea glasses they could substitute for shot glasses. "Let's go you fucking whore," He slammed the glasses on the table, "pour it!"

Jack smiled and let out a loud laugh as he pulled out the bottle and filled the glasses to their very tops. He slid six over to Tumor, knowing Sebastian didn't drink, and kept six to himself. "On ten, okay."

"Jack," Mist started, "I don't think that-" She was silenced as Jack shoved the neck of the bottle in her mouth and tilted her head back, not taking his eyes off of Tumor.

When he was done with her he began the count down. "One..." The two started cracking random parts of their bodies, "Two..." They both grabbed an individual glass, "Ten!"

Sebastian and Maud watched them suck down the liquor like savages. "Disgusting..."

"Tell me about it." Maud said in turn.

"I wonder if they will always behave this way or if one day wisdom will hit them like a like an Ox, cracking their skulls and mashing their brains into a puddle fit for maggots to bathe."

"For their sake, I hope it's the latter." She commented, "They may not be the brightest creatures around, but I don't believe that they should be punished for behavior like this. It's all part of the learning experience of life."

"Couldn't have said it better myself, but it isn't exactly an excuse to act like animals either."

"That is very true as well." Maud looked back at Jack and Tumor, an idea hatching in her igneous-like skull. She turned to face Sebastian. "If they're going to act like fools, then perhaps we can act slightly less than what we are."

He thought about if, but didn't know whether or not to agree. "That would depend on what you're refering to. Would you mind clarifying?"

"If they can get away with acting like over-grown children ever day of their lives, then maybe just for a night you and I may act like a new age couple."

"All the new aged couples do is mount each other, practically on an hourly basis." He explained, making sure she knew exactly what she was trying to get herself into.

"I understand that," She said with a nod, "however, I am not suggesting we leap straight into coitus. I think that a fair amount of four-play would be acceptable and we can see if it will escalate beyond that at a later point."

"I guess I don't see much of a problem with that." He replied, "Though I must warn you, I am inexperienced."

"I can show you how everything works if you are willing to learn."

Sebastian looked back at his brothers who were already wrestling on the floor while Twilight and Mist were making out on the table. "I guess I would prefer that over this mess." He rose from his seat and took one of Maud's hooves. "Let's be on our way then."