"Oh no, oh no, oh no..." Twilight said as she paced around her castle. She had gotten a letter from Celestia about a week ago stating that by the end of the week she wanted to meet the two humans that have arrived in their world so she could better get to know and understand them. Throughout that week she had been trying to teach Jack how to use manners properly an more importantly how not to start a fire every twelve seconds. "What am I gonna do? If I don't take him Celestia will be mad and think I'm hiding something, but if I do he'll destroy the whole palace just for a laugh! Oh, what should I do?"

Just then the castle door opened and Tumor walked in. "Hey, magic bitch, where are you?" He looked around and saw Twilight, her hoof held high for him to see but her head hanging low in defeat. "Hey, the girls asked me to come in and see what was taking you so damn long."

Twilight sighed, "I'm just worried. I mean, you know your brother better than any of us, what will he do when we get to Canterlot?"

"That really depends, what's it like?"

"Well, it's a busier place full of a bunch of rich snobs who only care about their own self-image." She replied, using every bit of prejudice in her body. She loved Canterlot and all, but the ponies there weren't all that great.

"Snobs huh?" He said, "He'll probably scorch the whole town."

"So what you're saying is-"

"We're fucked."

"I thought so." Twilight's head sunk lower until her horn touched the ground and sparked slightly.

As that spark flashed so did the light bulb above Tumor's head. "I may have an idea..." Twilight's ears perked up and she lifted her head hopefully. "Do you have any spells that on might use on an insomniac?"

She thought for a moment before catching on to what he was getting at and put on a devious grin. "I may have just what you're looking for."

The group gathered in the VIP section of the train, which allowed them a lot of extra moving space and several other smaller luxuries. Derpy, Carrot Top, and Tumor all sat on one side of the train, that is, after Tumor threw his unconscious brother onto the floor next to where Twilight was sitting.

Once the train started moving Carrot Top clapped her hooves together excitedly. "I can't believe I am actually going to the palace to meet the royal sisters. This is so amazing!"

"I can believe she's just leaving him there." Derpy added randomly.

They looked over to the other side of the train. Twilight was sitting in her seat and looking out the window as trees and mountains passed by while Jack laid dead asleep face down on the floor.

"What did she do to him?" Carrot Top asked.

"She wanted to know how to keep his ass under enough control to get him to the palace without starting The Great Fire of Canterlot City." Tumor explained. "So I recommended some hardcore nap time. It's not like he sleeps a whole lot anyway, so we're doing him a fucking favor."

The trip was mostly quiet, minus Derpy and Carrot Top chatting away with each other. Tumor had moved over to sit with Twilight to keep her company for the rest of the trip. "So, how's living with my brother treating you?"

"It's a nightmare." She replied with a small laugh. "He's just so destructive in careless. Has he always been that way?"

"Pretty much." He answered. "I can't remember a single day where he wasn't either running wild in the streets or tormenting people."

"Why?"

"Mostly for fun. One of his many mottoes Hate me, love me, fuck you."

"What's that supposed to mean."

"Exactly what it says; If you hate me, fuck you. Even if you like me, fuck you." He explained. "He's been like that since we were born. He never really cared for much and the only thing he looked out for was himself. He's even convinced himself that he's the Evil twin."

"I can see why."

"Please don't say that in front of him, I don't want him to be encouraged to get worse."

"You think he acts like this on purpose?"

"Honestly, I don't have a fucking clue."

They managed to get through the city and into the castle with little issues. The worse they had to face was a bunch of nasty glares from the locals, but they paid no mind. Twilight was used to it from growing up here, Carrot Top and Derpy were too distracted by the structures to notice any of the ponies, and Tumor was only focused on not dropping his sleeping brother. Jack started waking up when they made it into the throne room, the rest of his drowsiness vanished as he felt his body fall and land on a hard surface. The two Princesses rose from their thrones and walked over to the group. The ponies all bowed while Tumor stood there and watched Jack slowly try to get to his feet.

"Good Evening my little ponies." Celstia said with milk in her voice

"What. The. FUCK!?!?!?" Jack shouted, causing everyone's eyes to widen and lock onto him. He turned to face Twilight with fire in his eyes, literally. "You fucking put me to sleep!? You bitch! I should tear your fucking throat-" He was silenced as Tumor grabbed him from behind and started draining the energy out of him.

"Shhh, it's okay buddy. Just lay back down." He said to his brother.

Jack felt his body starting to give up on him and fell to his knees. "I fucking hate you all..." He commented tiredly.

"Well, this one seems to be quite the character." Luna commented, finding Jack to be very unnerving.

Celestia nodded in agreement, before turning her attention to Tumor. "I take it that you are the new hero of Ponyville. Dale the Warhorse, right?"

He nodded, "Yes ma'am, but you can call me Tumor."

The sisters raised a brow at him. "An interesting name." Luna added, "I can only assume that it holds some sort if meaning."

"That's very perceptive of you. It does." Tumor confirmed.

"We trust that it's meaning is not mischievous?"

"It's a way of expressing how, despite my reputation of being a pain, I tend to grow on those around me." He explained.

Luna smiled, "How clever."

The royal sisters then turned their attention onto the weakened human sitting before them. "And who might this be exactly?" Luna asked.

Twilight stepped up and introduced him. "This is Jack, Tumors twin brother. He arrived here by accident when I attempted to to make a window into their world using DNA from Tumor. Rather than giving me a window though it pulled the closest genetic match it could find into our world." Twilight suddenly fell silent as Jack raised a hand and pointed at Celestia before muttering something incoherent. "What?"

"She has a sun on her ass," he said slowly, "she's has a sunbutt..." They all roles their eyes at him, minus Tumor who was stifling a chu kle. "It's about the size of a sun too..."

Tumor cracked and started laughing while the jaws of everypony near dropped, minus Luna who was doing her best not to laugh.

"Let me out of here you stupid fucking horses!!!" Jack shouted from behind the magical barrier. After regaining his strength he had tried to attack his brother and the guards reacted by putting a containment spell around him to ensure the safety of all in the castle.

"Sister, he seems to be far too excitable. I believe it would be best if we had him kept under observation until we can determine if he is a threat to our subjects." Luna suggested to her sister.

"I think that would be best." She agreed.

"Then you're both six kinds of stupid." Tumor commented, earning him stares from every direction. "Look, I know my brother better than any one else, okay. I promise if you keep him contained not only will he find a way to escape, but he'll be out for blood. You will regret this decision."

"Well, what would you suggest?" Luna asked.

"Let him do his own thing. He's not going to attack anyone unless they attack him first." His words were true and the princesses could sense that much, but they also felt that he was leaving out a few details. He was, clearly. His brother wouldn't attack anyone unless he was provoked, that much was on the dot, but when he did attack he wouldn't stop until everything around him was no longer breathing.

"Come on Sunny Cheeks!" Jack shouted from behind the barrier, "You heard the man, let me out." He said, pressing his face against his transparent prison. "Pleeezzz..."

Celestia and Luna began to communicate telepathically to come to a final decision.

I do not trust it sister, it's much too risky Luna started

Neither do I. We will just have to explain why we-

[Yo, shut the fuck up for a second]

I beg your pardon

[Luna, I love you but zip your fucking lips]

Just who is this?

[Hi Celestia, nice to meet you too, good to know you're too fucking stupid to listen as well. What part of shut the fuck up did you not hear? You know what...]

The royal sister suddenly found themselves unable to speak both physically and mentally.

[I am your fucking God, period. Now listen, you need to let him out. In fact, you don't even have a god damn choice in the matter, you're letting him out. No ifs, ands, or butts. I don't care how big they are. I don't know how to continue this if he stays locked up because I promised myself the next few chapters would be focused on Jack. So, let him out or I will see to it that you're completely immobile and in the creepypasta version of sugar cube corners basement. Good? Good! Now line up your virgins and-whoops, wrong story there for a sec...just let Jack the hell out or I'll kill you.]

Celestia and Luna, out of shock and fear, had Jack released and the group sent back to Ponyville to continue living their lives as they pleased.

"Celestia?" Luna started, "What was that, how did it get control of our minds?"

"I do not know Luna, but it's clearly very powerful." She tried to understand what could possibly have so much power, but couldn't put her hoof on it.

"Do you think it shall return?"

[ I never left, cutie ;P ]

After the group had gotten off of the train they slip up and went to their separate ways. Jack followed close behind Twilight back to the castle, juggling his balls of fire again. When they got inside Twilight sighed. Today had been rough, and honestly, a bit scary. She felt like she should be fearing for her life around Jack, but for some reason she wasn't. That didn't matter to her right now though, she was tired and ready for bed. She looked over and saw Spike napping on the floor. From the looks of it he had been cleaning up for her while they were gone and he passed out.

Twilight turned to face Jack, still juggling away like nothing else existed. "Jack, I'm going to bed. Please don't destroy the place."

"I make no promises. " He replied, "Now get the hell out of here and leave me be."

Twilight rolled her eyes at him. Right as she was about to take off she heard a loud snap and a crash, followed by a yelp and the sound of Spike groaning in pain. "Spike!?" She yelled, running over to help him. She could hear Jack dying of laughter behind her as she made her way over to her number one assistant who seemed to have been crushed by a falling party canon. Apparently at one point Pinkie decided to put a few on the ceiling. "Are you okay, spike?"

"I'm fine." He groaned, "Just a little banged up is all." He watched as Twilight smiled and levitated the cannon off of him, but noticed that another one seemed to be falling down, this time towards her. "Twilight! Look out!" He shouted.

She looked up to see the object plummeting directly at her and screamed before closing her eyes and bracing for impact. Strangely she didn't get hit. It certainly didn't feel like anything had landed on her. When she opened her eyes she was met with the sight of Jack standing beside her, holding up the party/war machine. "What?" She asked, finding it odd that he actually protected her. She watched as Jack looked over the decorated canon before tossing it aside without thinking much else about it. He completely ignored Twilight's question as well and walked straight to his bedroom without saying a single word. "Spike?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you find it weird that a creature that seems to do nothing but destroy everything it touches just stopped a rouge party canon from smashing me into bits when it clearly got a laugh out of it happening to you?"

"That's a very specific question."

"I'm a very specific pony, with a very specific mind, containing a very specific behavioral chart that just became obsolete in the last fifteen seconds."