With the morning came a renewed sense of invigoration. Tarnish recalled that he had some dreams of some sort, but he couldn’t remember what they were. He felt better though, and for this, he was thankful. Was it Princess Luna? His own natural resilience? He didn’t know. He was feeling his groove though, and was plucky enough to get into a silent squabble with Vinyl Scratch over who was going to fix breakfast.

Now, sitting opposite of the campfire, Vinyl, wrapped in a saddle blanket, gave him a baleful stare, and each huffy-puffy sigh of hers could be seen in the frozen morning air. Vinyl was not a happy camper, as the old saying went, and it applied doubly here.

Nopony had wanted to leave the warm confines of The Egg this morning. There was no doubt that the day would warm up, but the morning was unseasonably cold. Not only was Maud wearing her smock, but she was also bundled up in a blah coloured sweater knitted from undyed wool and she had a saddle blanket pulled around her as she sat beside the fire. Octavia was wearing a coat and a toque, a floppy looking affair that swallowed up her ears, as well as being wrapped in a blanket.

As Tarnish put some ice on to boil, he pulled out the decorative tin of cocoa, extra dark. The tin promised that it was sinfully dark cocoa and had a wicked looking black and red alicorn embossed upon the front. The black and red alicorn was smirking and giving a sultry wink to the viewer of the tin.

To Tarnish, it looked as though she was either constipated or sneezing.

“What’s the plan for today?” Octavia asked as she struggled to keep her teeth from chattering.

“I was thinking that we need to make a dedicated push into The Scariest Cave in Equestria,” Maud replied. “Tarnish and I have had some bad luck going in, but I think the four of us should be fine. Tarnish has his sword and shield, Vinyl has her magic, and Octavia, you and I are earth ponies. Since when do we get chased out of a cave? That’s embarrassing.”

“Speak for yourself.” Octavia shivered and pulled the blanket tight around her. “I’m a city earth pony. I’ve never been big on caves.” Octavia blinked a few times, then shook her head. “Although, I must say, a big farm with soft dirt does sound appealing for some reason. I could never quite figure out why.”

Smiling, Tarnish kept his thoughts to himself. He knew that Octavia liked spelunking in at least one cave, and he glanced over at Vinyl, who had to be thinking the same dirty thoughts as he was, as she was shaking with silent laughter.

“What’s so funny?” Octavia asked.

Tarnish knew better than to answer. He busied himself with mixing up some pancake batter and focused upon his own survival, all while trying not to chortle. Vinyl was making it difficult however. He shot Vinyl a glance and she stuck out her bright orange tongue in return. He wasn’t going to say anything—he had not one, but two mothers to worry about—and he wanted to live to a ripe old age.

“With the four of us, I think we have a good chance of progress.” Maud paused, shook her head, and then her ears twitched. “However, if we encounter ghastlies, I suggest we retreat.”

“EW!” Octavia closed her eyes, shivered, and it wasn’t from the cold.

“Anything else, and we push forwards. I think if we use fire as a warning, most creatures should retreat from us. We shouldn’t burn them just because they are in our way, but I am not adverse to scaring them just a little. We’re dealing with things that might eat us, if given the chance, so scaring them away is being generous.”

“I like your version of generousity,” Octavia remarked when Maud paused to draw breath.

“With Vinyl and Tarnish holding the nasties at bay, I should be able to get some actual work done. I’ll be able to take readings, study the rocks, and maybe, if I’m lucky, get a better idea of what we are dealing with here. Or, on the other hoof, I’ll end up with data that will only cause more questions.”

Humming to himself, Tarnish dropped some dried fruit and berries into the pancake batter, then set it aside and allowed some moisture to soak in. He thought about Maud’s plan but said nothing. The plan was a solid one and he knew that with Vinyl, he could probably hold the line. He was feeling confident and he didn’t know why. He was just in a good mood today, for some reason or another. He had his friends and anything was possible.

“Vinyl, do remember your camera. I am positive that there are some great photo opportunities inside of The Scariest Cave in Equestria.” Octavia shivered, huffed, and then added, “Oh, I do wish that it would hurry up and get warm. This is miserable!”

“We’re at a higher elevation than the diamond dog camp. Last night it got chilly, but up here, it was probably freezing. We’d better get used to this.” Maud scooted a little closer to the fire. “I don’t have a thick pelt to protect me from the sun and the cold. This really is miserable.”

Both Maud and Octavia looked over at Tarnish, who had a thick, chocolate brown pelt. Octavia raised her eyebrow, while Maud just sat there expressionless. Looking down, Tarnish focused on breakfast. He was cold, but he wasn’t anywhere as miserable as those two.

With a poof, Vinyl’s slate appeared and she wrote something down with a piece of bright orange chalk. She held up the slate and out of the corner of his eye, Tarnish saw that she had written a single word that summed up her feelings about the situation and the cold.

“Vinyl, that’s vulgar!” Octavia whined. “Oh, put that away!”

Wiping the slate clean, Vinyl shook her head and then wrote down something else, her chalk squealing with the pressure she applied on the slate. Tarnish couldn’t see what it was, but she held up her slate so that Maud and Octavia could see it, leaving him curious and wanting to know what she had written.

Octavia’s mouth dropped open in shock.

“What a coincidence,” Maud said as she looked at Vinyl’s message. “I can’t feel my cooter either.”

Closing her eyes, Octavia shook her head and let out a sigh of both disappointment and disgust. Across the fire, Tarnish did everything he could to behave, but little snerks and snorts kept slipping out. It grew so bad that Tarnish let out a coltish squeal as he fought to keep everything in.

Vinyl’s slate vanished with a pop and Tarnish continued to fix breakfast.

The opening to the cave yawned before them. They approached the west entrance, the side closest to the camp, the side where Tarnish had encountered the ghastlies. Tarnish had his shield ready, Vinyl was armed with her camera, and Maud had the fancy new thaumaton reader. Octavia served as the pack pony, carrying supplies.

It had warmed up a bit, but not much. The mid morning sun was just now beginning to peek over the tall ridges and the trees, but much of the valley floor was dark, lost in shadow. Parts of the river that flowed into the cave had frozen over, and chunks of ice were lodged upon the banks.

The darkness in the cave almost seemed supernatural. Just a few feet in, it was black as pitch. Vinyl cast a light spell, but rather than her horn lighting up and drawing continuously from her magic reserves, a floating ball of neon pink light appeared over her head. She cast the spell again and this time, a floating neon blue ball appeared. Together, the two lights seemed adequate.

“Single file or two by two?” Tarnish asked.

Maud replied, “Two by two.”

As Maud spoke, Vinyl fell in beside Tarnish, and there was a reckless grin upon her face. Tarnish realised that Vinyl was enjoying herself. While Octavia appeared to be quite miserable, Vinyl was having a good time. Perhaps Octavia’s mood would improve when the day warmed up.

“Don’t slip on the ice,” Tarnish said, offering a warning. “The stones are slippery and we’ll be walking right on the water’s edge when we go in. If we get into a fight, it’s going to be treacherous.”

“Fantastic,” Octavia muttered.

Together, the four of them pushed forwards.

Piercing the peculiar veil of darkness, the four companions made their way into the cave proper, with Vinyl’s floating light orbs providing the light they needed. Tarnish and Vinyl were almost pressed together on the narrow path, with the river flowing on Tarnish’s left, and the slimy cave wall on Vinyl’s right.

About fifty paces or so in, glowing mushrooms could be seen on the walls, and they glowed with a faint blue bioluminescence. Strange creatures frolicked among the glowing mushrooms, the little monsters appeared to be the heads of birds with two legs sticking out where the body should be. The heads were bulbous and misshapen, the beaks even more so. They darted around, pecking up worms and slugs from the mud along the riverbank.

Something slithered in the river and Tarnish kept a wary eye upon it as Vinyl took pictures of the strange bird headed monsters that had no bodies, just heads and legs. Maud picked up samples, loose rocks on the ground. She dropped them into a sack hung around her neck.

When Tarnish stepped into the icy cold water of the river, he let out a hiss. The freezing cold stabbed into his tender frogs. His heart raced to get his blood pumping and warm his legs. A giant centipede scuttled up the wall near Vinyl and there was a flash from the camera. In the centipede’s mandibles was one of the bird creatures. It gave a few feeble kicks, but was no doubt succumbing to the centipede’s venom.

The cave widened a bit and there was now more room. An icy sweat had broken out on Tarnish’s back, and he shivered. He didn’t much care for this place. He didn’t much care for the growls he heard ahead of him. He didn’t like the fact that he could no longer see the exit. It had to be some trick of the light.

“We’re being watched,” Octavia announced in a cool, calm, and collected whisper. “There are cunning eyes upon us right now, at this very moment. I would advise caution.”

Eyes darting around, Tarnish tried to see what might be watching. The island of light ended abruptly ahead and behind. He wished that he had a larger light radius to push back the darkness. Glancing at the water, he watched as something large swam past in the shadowy, murky depths. He felt the cold prickle of fear in his balls and it made them ache. His stomach muscles knotted and convulsed. Licking his lips, Tarnish felt his mouth go dry.

At that moment, Tarnish remembered that he hated nature, and that nature could go get horned. He was so scared that his urethra was puckering up in a most painful way and he was certain that he was about to pull or sprain a sphincter muscle in his ass at any second. When he heard the sound of trickling water that wasn’t the river, he almost jumped out of his skin.

“I couldn’t help it,” Octavia whimpered as she turned her face away from her companions.

Looking down, Tarnish saw a puddle around Octavia’s hind hooves. He turned himself around to look at Octavia, lowered his head, and tried to comfort his friend. “Hey, nopony is laughing. We’re all scared right now. I know I am. Don’t feel bad, Octavia. Cheer up.”

Lifting her head, Octavia sniffled a bit, and then gave Tarnish a miserable looking half smile. She moved, trying to get out of her own mess, and brushed up against the slimy wall. Already, the puddle was soaking into the cave floor and trickling into the river.

Vinyl’s slate appeared in the air next to her head, along with a piece of bright orange chalk. She began scribbling on the slate, and her letters were not in their usual perfect state. This fear is magical. I can’t push it back, I’ve tried.

“Well,” said Maud in a flat voice, “that complicates things.”

“What now?” Tarnish asked as he fought to keep his knees from banging together.

“The only option we have. We back out. Octavia’s a mess and will need to get cleaned up, I’m about to have a serious bladder malfunction myself, and you can barely stand, Tarnish. I can see your legs shaking.” Maud looked around and a visible shudder made her whole body shake. “Something terrible draws nearer, we need to go. Now.”

It might have been Tarnish’s imagination, but he was certain that Maud had placed some emphasis on the word ‘now.’ It was time to go. The two mares began to back out, and he and Vinyl covered their retreat. Feeling a growing sense of urgency, Tarnish gave both Maud and Octavia a gentle shove to hurry them along.

Behind him, something roared, causing a terrible bladder crushing cacophony. Tarnish broke from the fear and he let out a gibbering cry. Offering no warning, he somehow scooped up all three mares in his magic, he had no idea how he did it but he did, and then, taking advantage of his long legs, Tarnish bolted like a derby racer. He ran like the Wonderbolts flew. He didn’t miss a step on the slippery stones, he didn’t stumble as he scrambled, and he made a run for the cave exit.

Author's Notes: