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Venenum Iocus

by kudzuhaiku

Chapter 65: The cold'll turn your ball blue

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It looked as though the convoy was ready to go. Tarnish looked down at the two pups looking up at him with wide, soulful eyes, and for a moment, he felt an awful pang in his heart. He was going to miss them. Behind them was Minori, who also looked more than a little morose. Around Minori was a sea of tiny faces, both badger-kin and bushwoolies.

Unable to stop himself, Tarnish thought of everything that had taken place leading up to this moment. The killing, the horror, the dust bomb, and the aftermath. His blue eyes watering, Tarnish began to sniffle, and as he did so, he heard Kabuki sniffling as well. Long Ears, who tried to be a stoic about the whole thing, somehow resisted, but the pups eyes glistened with tears that he would not allow to fall.

“This isn’t a goodbye,” Minori said in a somewhat scratchy voice. “You’ll be coming home soon, before the winter winds blow. We’ll meet then, and be happy.”

“Yeah,” Tarnish replied, and he felt a stab of embarrassment as his voice cracked.

“You, all of you”—Minori looked around at the ponies present—“have shown us a kindness that we will never forget. We are in your debt. I am glad that we are friends, it gives me hope for our future.”

Wings fidgeting, Twilight Sparkle began to sniffle herself. She wiped at her eyes with a foreleg, blinked a few times in rapid succession, and then let out a soft, feminine cough. Twilight smiled and then did her best to look regal as she glanced over at Tarnish, Maud, Octavia, and Vinyl.

“Thank you for sponsoring me,” Kabuki said to Tarnish.

“Eh, don’t mention it,” Tarnish replied as he felt Princess Luna’s eyes upon him.

“Twilight, I just thought of something.” Maud’s head swiveled to look over where Twilight stood. “With everything going on, it slipped my mind. I think Trixie was heading north to come and see you after she departed from us.”

Eyes widening with alarm, Twilight began to think about what to do, seeing as how she was already engaged. She shuffled around on her hooves, looking about, almost appearing panicked. “A friend might need me… but I have a job to do here… oh no!”

Snorting, Princess Luna rolled her eyes. She extended one wing towards Twilight, pointing, and she said, “Go, Twilight. We shall look after this endeavour.”

“We?” Twilight looked a little confused.

“We.” A demure smile spread over Princess Luna’s muzzle. “We. Mineself. We art the Royal We.” The Princess of the Night let out a soft chuckle, amused by Twilight’s lapse into confusion.

“Oh. Oh… Ooooh.” Understanding flashed in Twilight’s eyes. “Oh, right. Under most circumstances, I would have caught that, but I’m kinda panicked. My bad!” Saying nothing else, Twilight spread her wings, cast some spell, then went streaking off, leaving behind a thundercrack as she broke the sound barrier.

“Well, duh,” Spike grumbled, shaking his head.

There was a whooshing sound, another thundercrack, and then Twilight appeared overhead. She hovered in place, smiling, flapping her wings. She held out one foreleg, waved, and then she said in parting, “I’ll be by to visit you as soon as I can! I love having new friends! This is great! Spike, look after them for me!”

And then, with a third sonic boom, she was gone again. The diamond dogs, bushwoolies, and badger-kin all watched the skies, wondering if she would perhaps come back again. When no return seemed forthcoming, there was a collective sigh of dismay from the whole group.

Standing by himself, Spike watched Twilight go as he clutched his tail with one hand, and waved goodbye with the other. The little dragon was grinning and he looked quite pleased with himself and his circumstances. Twilight had practically said that he was in charge.

Shaking her head, Princess Luna let out a snort and mumbled something about upstart princesses. She laughed a bit, a soft chuckle, and then walked over to where Long Ears and Kabuki stood. Her eyes twinkled with amusement as she looked down at them and she lowered her long neck so that she might see them eye to eye.

“Firekeeper, art thou ready to depart?” Princess Luna asked.

When she realised that every eye was now staring at her, Kabuki froze. The corner of one eye twitched and her ears fidgeted upon her head. She swallowed and a lump was seen going down her throat. Her tail tucked down between her legs and she let out a soft whimper.

“Be ye not afraid,” Princess Luna whispered. “A leader must be ready to lead. Give the word and we shall go.”

Letting out a yelp, Kabuki whirled around, lunged for Octavia, and then grabbed the grey mare’s leg. She rubbed her face against Octavia’s leg, but said nothing. She then went to Vinyl, hugged her, let go, and went to Maud. After Maud was hugged, she went to Tarnish. After a brief squeeze goodbye, Kabuki nodded.

“Brother, shall we go?” she asked.

Smoothing back his ears, Long Ears nodded. “Let’s go, Sister.”

And with that, the great migration north began.


It was almost a relief to see The Egg again. Tarnish and his companions made the walk back to their camp in near silence, with very few words being said. There was a lot to do. Firewood needed to be gathered. Dinner needed to be fixed. Somehow, they had to go back to whatever passed as normal.

Staring at The Egg, Tarnish thought of home. The little stone cottage was no doubt being worked on. Cloudy’s kitchen probably smelled of wholesome, delicious treats. Tarnish realised that he felt homesick. Offering no warning, he grabbed Maud in his magic, pulled her closer, and buried his face into the back of her neck.

“Tarnish, what’s gotten into you?” Maud asked as she stood there, her ears flicking as Tarnish huffed against her neck. “That’s not the sexy heavy breathing against my neck, that’s the sad heavy breathing against my neck. What gives?”

“For a minute there, I just wanted to go home,” Tarnish said, mumbling his words into Maud’s mane. “I’m okay now. So long as I have you, I’m okay.”

“Find a task and keep busy, Tarnish. It will make things easier. Slip back into a routine, do the job, and before you know it, it will be time to go home again.” Maud flicked her tail against Tarnish’s body and leaned against him.

“I guess you’d know, wouldn’t you?” Tarnish asked.

Maud said nothing, but nothing needed to be said. Octavia watched the pair for a moment, then looked over at Vinyl, who was busying herself around the campfire, which was now burning again. After a few precious moments, Tarnish pulled himself away, let out a snort, and then trotted off to look for firewood, sniffling as he fled from view.

When he was gone, Octavia leveled her gaze upon Maud and said, “I wish he wasn’t so ashamed of showing his feelings.”

“You know how it is for stallions,” Maud replied.

Turning her head, Octavia looked off to where Tarnish had departed into the shrubs, trees, and brush. She saw birds flying away out of the trees. She shook her head, her ears drooped, and then, for a moment, Octavia’s mouth sagged into a grumpy looking frown. One ear drooped a little, then she shook her head.

“I’m going to write the music echoing inside of my head,” Octavia announced.

Left by herself, Maud realised that it was time to fall back into routine, whatever that was.


Overhead, countless stars twinkled and Tarnished Teapot stared up at them, watching as his breath condensed into clouds of frozen mist. He had awoken in the night with a need to relieve himself, and stepping out of The Egg, he had discovered that winter had arrived to grace this autumn night. The contents of the water barrel had frozen and urinating in the bushes was a brisk experience, to say the very least. The cold air stung his nostrils, burned his nose, and left his balls feeling quite chilly.

Still, for whatever reason, he remained outside in the freezing air, his tail tucked down against his backside in a desperate effort to keep everything back there warm. Inside, it had been quite warm, but The Egg was well insulated and having four bodies piled in one bed produced a lot of heat.

Flamingo prowled the camp in a circle, saying nothing, a silent guardian in the night, casting a pink glow everywhere she passed. Tarnish was more thankful to have her than words could express. Because of her, they slept through the night unmolested. He thought of Trixie, all by herself, alone, with no one to watch over her. That was a tough row to hoe, as the old earth pony expression went.

Staring up at the stars, Tarnish reflected upon those who had helped him recently. Princess Celestia had given him some much needed advice. The mysterious zebra had also offered some useful advice, even if it was a little cryptic. Maledico, his instructor, tended to leave him to learn on his own, but even Maledico had been helpful. When in trouble, he could always turn to the orb.

Knowing he could not sleep, Tarnish did that now. He pulled the glowing blue orb out of his saddlebags, which sat near the door, and he levitated it up close to his face. He peered inside, trying to see shapes in the hazy blue mist, and his eyes took on a blue glow. It was easier to peer into the orb and lose himself than it was to remain in the waking world and think about how he had taken the lives of thinking, feeling, talking creatures.

With a gasp, Tarnish lost himself.


He found himself in a city, this one unfamiliar. The streets were teeming with the occupants of the city, but something was wrong. There were no sounds, no hooves striking the cobblestones. There were ponies here, and centaurs, the streets were crowded with them, but they weren’t living.

Tarnish was certain that he saw ghosts. Each of them were translucent when stared at directly, and all of them had a faint blue tint. This was not a place for the living. When Tarnish took off at a trot, his hooves rang out on the cobblestones, filling the city around him with sound.

What was this place? The buildings were all very peculiar. Everything was uniform, there was a strong sense of geometry, and from where he stood, each building was the same size, the same height, each building was identical to the one next to it. The stone appeared to be shaped, not constructed. The doors were all made of some strange metal, like copper, but more orange and not as reflective. Windows were small and circular, and each window had a sun emblem framing the glass.

When Tarnish found the first building that was not like the others, he stopped and stared. This building was taller, larger, and had double doors. The ghosts poured in and out of it. Above the door were strange letters that Tarnish could not read, but somehow he knew what they were anyway.

This was the Arcanarium. It was… a magical college of sorts. Tarnish saw all kinds going in and out, centaurs, ponies, zebras… alicorns. The alicorns didn’t seem like nobles, or royals, in fact, they didn’t seem special at all. They were just… well, ponies. They weren’t tall and graceful like Princess Celestia or Princess Luna, no, they were short like Princess Twilight. Some were gawky looking and wore glasses.

Compelled by some unknown force, Tarnish felt the urge to go inside.


Inside, Tarnish began to notice that something seemed… off somehow. He had trouble figuring out what it was until he noticed a pony, an alicorn in fact, with a single lion’s paw. Another, also an alicorn, had one very reptilian hind leg. In fact, quite a number of the ponies who roamed the halls had body parts that seemed out of place, like an earth pony who had horns like a goat.

Following a herd, Tarnish allowed himself to be swept along, until he found himself in a lecture hall. The teacher was a centaur mare, beautiful, with a marvellous chestnut pelt. She had strange, twisting, looping horns that grew from her head and mismatched eyes. She ran her hands up and down a tree growing out of a large, decorative pot and the wood flowed like clay beneath her long, slender fingers. She shaped the tree, guiding its growth, giving it new form and purpose. Tarnish could feel the peculiar sensation of magic tingling through his bones.

And then, the ghosts were gone. The tree withered up and died. Time passed in a flood and the pot crumbled with age. The wooden furniture decayed and rotted away. Tarnish found himself alone now, with nothing around him, in an abandoned school, in some forgotten city.

When Tarnish blinked, everything around him vanished and he found himself someplace else.


When he opened his eyes again, he was staring up at the stars and a blue orb floated in front of his face. A fierce feeling of frustration welled up inside of Tarnish when he realised that he had questions, questions that he knew would get no answers. At least, not tonight. Maybe not ever. Feeling a little angry and cheated, Tarnish stuffed the blue orb back into his saddlebag.

It was freezing. The cold gnawed at his ears, made his lungs burn, and Tarnish realised that he wanted to be back in the bed where it was warm, even if he couldn’t sleep. The dead offered no answers, brought no comfort, but at least the living would offer warmth. He snorted, sending out two great clouds of steam from his nostrils.

“Goodnight, Flamingo. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Author's Notes:

This story nears the finish. We're past the halfway point. Now, we go into the final stretch.

One character will not survive this story.

Next Chapter: I can't feel my Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 47 Minutes
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Venenum Iocus

Mature Rated Fiction

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