Cloud Cutter had been silent throughout the entire evening. Once his Father's special ale was brought out, he became outright despondent. It seemed like his punishment was already starting before he was even in New Humansville, 'He promised me that when he opened one, I could join him.' He closed his eyes, 'And now I've gone and nearly killed my sister's future husband.' He opened his eyes and watched, 'I'm not going to say anything though. The Human intervened on my behalf and I'm not going to whine about enjoying ale when I would normally be in prison or sorting through his memories by now.' His eyes shifted to Artex, 'I owe him a lot more than an apology...' he flopped his head onto his forehooves, 'How could I have ever been so stupid? He never did anything to me and he wasn't doing anything wrong.' He groaned softly, 'Razor was right... I am a bully.'

* * *

By that time, the entire family had agreed to join in the drinking except Visceral Slaughter, due to her shift the following morning. She watched as her family and Razor's herd all took mugs of the Mountain Ale. She watched the Changeling and the Human like a hawk. She was subtle about it, but then again, she had learned a number of tricks from the Community Welfare Guardians, 'If you look at them from an objective point of view, they seem perfectly normal. You forget the dangers they represent...' her eyes traveled to her own horn, 'Then again... they could look at me the same way... have I really been wrong for so long?' Her memory flashed back to the Gryphon who had bullied her so terribly, 'Was he the exception... or the norm?' Her gaze shifted to Razor Wit and small tears stung the corners of her eyes, 'Oh my little filly... I never meant to hurt you so much.' She blinked the tears away stubbornly, 'I'm so sorry for what I put you through...' she looked around at the rest of her herd, 'What I've put you all through.'

Her mind flashed back to the Diamond Dog that Razor Wit had brought over to dinner one day, 'All I could see were the claws and teeth that could carve diamonds. Those claws and teeth so close to the Ponies I care about.' She looked at Vaiawa chugging down her mug of ale, 'Was I so focused on his claws and teeth that I missed meeting some... body who might have actually been... decent?' Her mind was confused. She had been putting forth a tremendous effort to be nice. She had caught an earlier slip when she had asked the Changeling about its, 'Her, HER love consuming habits! This is so difficult! She not a Pony, but she is at the same time! She said that her kind were true shape-shifters. She can be any species she wants... so why is this so hard for me?'

Her eyes latched onto Artex as he went to sample his mug, 'In a way... it's better that Razor fell in love with a Human.' she conceded, 'I spent months around them. They were the first, and until recently, the only species I could stand, aside from Zebras. Not that I liked the Humans much, but I know what they are like.' Her eyes narrowed of their own accord, 'But the thought of him sticking his...' she cut off the thought before it could form, 'No. I'm not going to do that.' She looked toward her only biological daughter, 'It's your choice Razor and... as much as it pains me to say it... I think... perhaps... you're a better mare than I.' She smiled at Razor, 'Every parent wants their foals to grow up to be better than they are, but few actually get to see it... I'm so proud of you, Razor. You managed to get past my inhibitions... no... my prejudices against other species and you've done amazing things. Things I never would have imagined were possible are an every day occurrence for you.' She didn't stop the tears as they came, 'You're a better mare than your hateful Mother... I love you... my little filly.'

The family was gathered in the living room as Mason counted down, "Three... two... one... DRINK!" They all tipped back their mugs and took a single gulp of the Mountain Ale.

Oriana was the first to lower her mug, her face was strained, "UGH!" She stomped her right hind leg on the floor coughing.

Rose smacked her lips, "WOO! That is some strong stuff!" She shook out her mane.

The Ponies, Human, and Changeling missed the knock on the door. They were having too much fun. Visceral Slaughter rose to her hooves curiously, 'Now who would be dropping by at this hour?' She reached the front door and used her magic to open it. As if fate had read her mind, there standing on the other side of the door was the Diamond Dog her daughter had brought over for dinner.

"Erm...” he stuttered, "Is Razor Pony here? Dog got into town late but he... I want to see my friend... if angry mother Pony lets me."

Visceral Slaughter gritted her teeth, 'The claws! The teeth! Nopony heard him knock. I could just turn him away right now and they would never know.' She shook her head, 'No. NO!' She took a deep breath, 'I squandered my first chance and I hurt Razor...' she collected herself and took a deep breath, "Come on in." She said very quietly, "I'm sure she would like to see you."

* * *

Razor slowly lowered her mug as her eyes widened. A huge grin spread over her face as Slobber Chops was ushered in by, 'MOM!?'

Visceral Slaughter forced herself to smile and fell back on her defensive mechanism for awkward or frightening situations: "I found this stray wandering around." She winked as her family turned and looked her aghast, "Can we keep him?" 'Please don't let Razor be offended!' She thought.

Razor Wit set her mug down on the kitchen counter and launched herself into the arms of her first non-Pony friend, "SLOBBER CHOPS!" She squealed in delight. He pulled her into his massive arms and hugged her warmly. Razor looked over his shoulder at her Mother, 'It's a start, Lamine. It's a start.'

Slobber Chops was so happy to see Razor that he lapsed into Dirgeth, "I'm so happy to see you, Razor! We've all missed you!"

She replied in fluent Dirgeth, "You silly mutt!" She reached her right forehoof up and rubbed behind his ears, "What are you doing here?"

"We arrived late and I wanted to see you again. Maybe sometime I can let you meet my mate." He replied.

Razor pulled her head back and looked up at him in surprise, "Mate? You have taken a mate? Male or female?"

Slobber Chops gently set Razor down and pulled a handkerchief from his vest pocket to wipe his mouth, "Female. I only sniff backsides, I don't lick them, except for hers when she asks me."

Razor wrinkled her muzzle, "Gross!" The two of them shared a laugh, "Is she with you?"

Slobber Chops shook his large head, "No. She is at home caring for our pup." His eyes wandered around the faces watching him and he grinned, "I see you have one of your own."

Razor looked over her shoulder then back at her friend, "One of my own?" Then it clicked, "Your mate is a Human?"

"They call themselves the Mānava, but they look to be the same species." Slobber Chops said, "I used your notes to understand their language. I'm the only Diamond Dog that is fluent in Velensovth and their tongue."

"H-hey!" Oriana slurred, her second mug close to her lips, "Bring his doggy butt over here so he can drink too!"

Slobber Chops grinned an absolutely terrifying grin, and slowly loped over to the counter. Mason poured him a mug then passed it off to the Diamond Dog, "Can you handle your draught?"

"Dogs drink Blood Liquor, no real blood, all red mushrooms and snozberries." He tipped his head back and quaffed the mug in a single tip. He lowered his mug onto the counter and let out a loud belch. Mason matched his belch. Rose belched slightly louder. Razor, Artex, and Vaiawa all matched one another. Tip won the belching round... until Oriana cut lose with a resounding burp that nearly shook the rafters.

After a round of back patting, everybody continued to enjoy the Mountain Ale. The rest of the family had enjoyed having Slobber Chops over before so they welcomed him openly. Chop was only too happy to enjoy the ale, "Dog Liquor stronger, but have less flavor, no suds either." He held up the mug, "This good stuff! Where to buy?"

Mason patted the back of Chop's leg, which was as high as he could reach, "I'm afraid I only got this from a Minotaur friend of mine, so I couldn't tell you where to get more. Sorry Slobber Chops."

The Diamond Dog shrugged, "Is no big matter. Me... I enjoy with good friends, keeps it special."

"So," Rose slammed her mug down on the floor, "Who's ready for a game?" Her challenge was met with hoots and cheers. She smiled widely, "Alright!" She looked around, "Hmm... how about three mares and three males go head to head and see who can drink the most and stay standing!" More cheers answered her idea, "Rules are simple, whichever gender can drink more in one minute wins. We'll match up one male and one mare at a time. Winner will be determined by how many mugs they can empty. We need scorekeepers and teams!"

Mason, Slobber Chops, and Artex were the only viable males while Rose Thorn, Feather Tip, and Greasy Gears were the volunteers for the mares. Mason and Greasy Gears stood on either side of the keg with five mugs on the counter next to them while Visceral Slaughter stood ready to refill the mugs. Razor Wit was score keeper for the mares and Fresh Brew was the scorekeeper for the males.

"On your marks... get set... GO!" Rose called. The two Earth Ponies tipped their mugs up and began swallowing as fast as they could. Greasy Gears finished her first mug half a second before Mason did. They both grabbed their second mugs and began drinking again. This time Mason finished first and grabbed his third mug. He put it to his lips just as Greasy Gears picked up her third. They both finished their third mug at the same time, but Mason had to pant for breath while Greasy Gears went on drinking. Mason caught his breath just as Razor Wit and Fresh Brew yelled, "Time!"

Greasy Gears slammed her fourth empty mug down on the counter and Mason set his down gently while Visceral Slaughter refilled all the mugs, "Good going Greasy! Grand gulping going good' girlfriend!"

Mason chuckled between breaths, wobbling slightly, "Alliteration? An awfully awkward aural assault? Ain't anybody arguing..." he cut off with a tremendous belch, "Anything?"

A round of laughter met his interrupted counter alliteration and Slobber Chops and Rose took up their positions at the counter. This time Visceral Slaughter counted, "Ready... set... go!"

The two alcoholic combatants grabbed their mugs and began drinking. Slobber Chops set his mug down and picked up his second before Rose had finished hers. It was obvious right from the start that the Diamond Dog would win. By the time Razor Wit and Fresh Brew called, "Time!" Slobber Chops had downed five mugs to Rose's four. The hearty Diamond Dog was not out of breath, he just licked his lips, "Good aftertaste."

The males all patted Slobber Chops on the back, "Way to go, Chop!" Artex praised, "That was impressive!"

Mason could not agree more, "A grand display of drinking if I ever saw one!"

It was time for the final round. Artex took his place across from Feather Tip. The Human held out his right hand toward her, "It's down to us." He looked around, "Let's represent our teams well."

Tip shook his hand and grinned, "Oh don't worry, I will."

Artex smiled at her confidence, "Whenever you lovely ladies are ready."

Rose counted off, "Three... two... one... GO!"

They both grabbed their mugs and began chugging as fast as they could. Feather Tip finished her first mug before Artex had drained even half of his. He saw he grab her second mug but he kept going. He ignored her and focused on his own mugs. He finished the first and went to town on the second. He polished off the second and went for this third. He drained his third and picked up his fourth. He finished his fourth and was reaching for his fifth when the mares yelled, "Time!"

Artex blinked, trying to clear his vision, he was also out of breath. Feather Tip had two mugs left on her side. Artex blinked happily, "H-hey! I won!"

Tip trotted up to him and nudged his stomach with her head, eliciting a hearty belch, "Keep dreaming, pretty boy. You drank four?" She snickered, "I finished with seven."

Artex blinked in confusion as she sauntered away, "I'm still thirsty." She picked up one of the other mugs and downed it in a few seconds, "Aah! Good stuff." She rapped a hoof against the keg, "Still mostly full! This is going to be a good night!"

Mason nudged Artex on the thigh, "You did your best."

Slobber Chops grinned and picked up another mug then went into the living room. He stopped and winked at Artex then turned back around while the mares were cheering. Artex refilled the mugs and brought four into the living room, "Anybody want another?" Razor Wit, Fresh Brew, and Second Chance all took a mug as everybody sat down on the floor.

Vaiawa tapped her mug on the floor. All eyes turned to her and she waited until she had silence before she spoke, "Let's play a word game." Subdued cheers met her announcement, "I'll start. We all go around the circle and whomever can outmatch the others wins the round. The judge says a sentence and whomever gives the most outlandish or hilarious response is the winner and the judge for the next round. Everybody who doesn't win, has to take a drink. Any questions?" Everybody shook their heads, "Something I would never do in public."

Second Chance was next to Vaiawa, "Pass gas!" Her statement was met with open laughter.

Oriana went next, "Bathe!" There were fewer laughs to her statement.

Rose was next, "Poop!" Hearty laughter met her comment.

Razor Wit followed her, "Intentionally end a sentence with a preposition!" Confused silence was her only answer.

Mason was next. He could barely speak, "M-m-mount, hehehe... one of my wives!" Cheers and hoots and hollars echoed around the room.

Greasy Gears suddenly yelled, "You're no fun!" Everybody was rolling around on the floor and many had tears streaming from their eyes.

Dusty Document was next, "Kiss my girlfriend!" More laughter was her answer.

Visceral Slaughter chimed in, "So much for grandfoals!" And the laughter increased. She was next so she cleared her throat, "Unfold myself!" Mason booed her statement and she stuck out her tongue at him, "Spoil sport!" And the laughter continued.

Artex was next, "MASTURBATE!" The laughter doubled as the mares, both his and Mason's, cheered, whistled, and made cat calls.

Clean Cut suddenly yelled, "Deliver a foal!" She was next and her statement was met with yells of, 'EEW!' and, 'GROSS!'.

The others all pointed to Mason and called out 'winner'. Mason stood up and took a bow, "Thank you, thank you... now CHUG!" Mugs clacked together and were upended.

Mason sat down and started, "Something strange."

Artex suddenly yelled, "ME!" Everybody laughed.

Vaiawa responded by changing into her normal form, "YOU!?" The laughter turned into hoots and Ponies gasping for air as they rolled around on the floor. Slobber Chops eyes widened and he pointed at Vaiawa dramatically. Everybody fell silent, realizing that the Diamond Dog had no idea that she was a Changeling. Motion caught everybody's attention as Cloud Cutter also pointed at her. Cutter and Chop nodded to one another then spoke at the same time, "YOU!" The entire room dissolved into peels of laughter.

The laughter lasted until the Ponies were nearly ready to throw up. Razor had an idea, "How about Truth Or Dare!?"

Vaiawa raised her right forehoof, "I second the motion!" She looked around. Almost all the others in the room had done the same, "Carried, unopposed! Razor, you're up!"

Razor grinned widely, "Dare!"

Cloud Cutter chimed up, "End a sentence with a preposition!" As soon as he finished speaking, the room was filled with laughter.

Razor grumbled, "Remember the festival we all went in?"

There was more than a little leg slapping. Cloud Cutter went next, "Truth!"

Artex jumped on the opportunity, "What do you think awaits you in New Humansville?"

Cloud Cutter paused and thought before he answered, "Community service?"

Rose and Artex both balled up laughing and Artex said, "You have NO idea!" He wiped the tears from his eyes, "Dare!"

Oriana slurred as she yelled, "Kiss me! Right here, right now!"

Artex took a gulp from his mug and crawled across the floor toward her. He pushed her mug aside and held her face in both of his hands while the room went silent. He leaned in and kissed her passionately. Hoots and cheers of approval surrounded the two as they kissed. Oriana felt dizzy as he broke contact and crawled back across the floor, "Ooh! Truth!"

Cloudy Skies spoke up, "When did you realize you loved Artex?"

Oriana blushed but answered, "It was when he first kissed Razor Wit. She got scared and I could see just how bad he felt about it." She sighed happily, "He was so caring... I knew right then that I wanted to be with him."

Her statement was met with stomping applause and a happy wink from Artex. Cloudy Skies yelled, "Dare!"

Mason suddenly spoke up, "Spend the rest of the night with a pot on your head!" The room fell into more laughter as the older mare retrieved an iron pot from the kitchen and brought it into the living room. She placed it on her head and said in a silly voice, "I can't see!"

Feather Tip chimed in, "Welcome to my world!" Her comment started another round of hearty laughter.

Mason yelled, "Dare!"

Clean Cut stood up, "Mount me!" The room fell silent as she continued, "In the hall closet!" Without another word, she trotted off toward the foyer amidst whistles and cheers. Mason got up and followed after her, swaying as he walked, "I'll be back soon!"

Visceral Slaughter called after him, "Not too soon, I hope!" The entire room nearly choked on their gales of laughter.

Oriana the spoke up, "Who's turn is it? Mason is... busy." The room again dissolved into hysterical laughter. After several full minutes, the room finally quieted down. The gasping and panting from the hallway echoed through the living room and many faces were bright red.

Razor folded her ears, "Eew! I do NOT want to hear that!"

Suddenly Clean Cut muffled voice called out, "What are you doing!? That doesn't go there!"

Mason's voice answered her, "It's called 'switching lanes' my love! Try it!"

"I-it feels weird! Ooh, be gentle back there!" Her voice dissolved into heavier panting. The gasps and moans grew steadily louder as they continued on, seemingly oblivious to the fact that everybody could hear them.

The older mares all looked at one another, "Switching lanes?" Greasy Gears asked.

Artex held his hands in front of his mouth, snickering, "Let's just say there's more than one field to be plowed under the tail."

Cloudy Skies, Greasy Gears, Fresh Brew, and Visceral Slaughter all shared a confused look... then got up and bolted toward the hallway while Artex laughed himself silly. Artex' mares all looked confused as well, "What do you mean?" Vaiawa asked.

Artex held his right hand to his laughter-strained stomach, "Some holes are not 'exit only'!" He laid back on the floor, rolling around.

Oriana's eyes suddenly widened. She leaned over to Rose and whispered into her ear. Rose's ears shot upright and she drew her head back, "EEW!"

Vaiawa cocked her head to the left briefly before her face lit up with understanding, "Ooh! I get it!... that's kind of... strange."

Feather Tip leaned over to her, "Get what?"

Vaiawa motioned for her to come closer. Razor joined them. Vaiawa whispered into their ears. Feather Tip stuck out her tongue, "YUK!" While Razor looked thoughtful.

Mason's voice suddenly cut through the house, "Well HEL-LO girls! Care to try something new!?"

Artex laughed until his vision went blurry while Slobber Chops only shrugged and took another sip from his mug, "Is not a big deal. Just clean self when done. No puppies that way."

The night ended shortly thereafter with everybody agreeing that there was only so much grunting and moaning they could stand, even when tipsy. Slobber Chops said his good byes and the herd all retired to Razor's old room. They piled onto her old bed and slept soundly until the next morning.

Author's Notes:

I may or may not have been inebriated while writing this. I admit nothing... except there are likely typos all over the place.