Razor Wit decided to ask Feather Tip if she wanted to join the herd and family for dinner that evening. Feather Tip nervously asked whether or not she would be an inconvenience, since it was supposed to be time for the family to get to know the herd, but Razor assured her it was fine. So it was that at five in the afternoon, Artex found himself hustled out of the kitchen while his five future Mother-in-laws all put together a feast.

He sat with Mason, Feather Tip, Razor's sisters and brother, and the four mares of his herd in the living room. Mason had offered beers to them and Artex, Rose, and Feather Tip had accepted. Mason was seated on the floor, which made Artex feel uncomfortable, "Uh Mason, this is your house. You don't need to sit on the floor."

Mason waved him off, "I got used to being on the floor when the children were foals. I like to sit on the floor on occasion. It reminds me of the days where I had a gaggle of foals to play with every day." He sighed and looked at his daughters and son, "I've been waiting for my wives to be willing. I want to have more foals." He closed his eyes and sighed, "Hearing the laughter of your children is a joy beyond description." He opened his eyes and smiled at Artex, "Is that something you want to feel, lad?"

Artex sipped at his beer, "Very much so, sir."

Mason continued smiling at him, "Don't be in too much of a rush. Take some time and enjoy married life. Enjoy your time with your wives."

Artex chuckled, "No worries there. As my adopted grandmother would say 'Make sure the fields are plowed up good before you go planting seeds'. I intend to do just that."

Razor, Rose, and Oriana blushed deeply, "Lamane!" Razor yelled, "That's inappropriate."

Mason let out a full bodied laugh, "No, my daughter, it is exactly appropriate." He gestured to Artex, "You plan to marry this, erm... what was the term... man, right?" Razor nodded so he continued, "Well then, I can tell you that if he is gentle with you, he will be gentle with your foals." He then fixed Artex with a solid look, "And believe me, you had better be gentle with my daughter."

Artex furrowed his brow in thought, "Actually... may we speak privately, Mason?"

Mason bobbed his head, "I was thinking of going for a short walk anyway. Care to join me?"

Artex rose from his seat and passed his beer to Rose, who had already finished her own, "You can have the rest, Rosey."

The two males managed to squeeze by the mares bustling about in the kitchen and exited the house through the front door. Mason set a leisurely pace and Artex matched it, "So..." Mason began, "What did you wish to discuss?"

Artex was somewhat uncomfortable with the topic, but he knew he needed to address it. He swallowed his apprehension and decided to bite the proverbial bullet, "Once we're married... Human women don't need... Comforters. I've experienced a small bit of the fear that mares have when we've been kissing sometimes, but I get the feeling there is a good deal more to it." He rubbed his face with both his hands, "Oh God this is awkward..."

Mason only laughed, "Yeah it is!" He laughed in his throat, "But it needs to be done. I was wondering when you were going to ask me."

Artex regarded him curiously, "You expected me to ask you about this?"

Mason only nodded, "Of course! You'd be a pretty poor example of a husband if you weren't concerned about things like this."

"W-well... I wasn't sure if it was proper..." Artex admitted.

Mason nudged his left leg, since he was on the man's left side, "Bah! Who needs proper? There's nothing fancy or frou-frou about making love to your wives."

"With," Artex corrected, "Making love WITH my wives." Mason shot his an odd look so he explained, "When I go to be intimate with them, I want them to be making love WITH me, not TO me. Making love TO them sounds like I'm the only one getting any enjoyment out of it, like I'm using them for their bodies... I hate that thought."

Mason nodded along, "Alright, fair enough. I can see what you mean. The marriage wouldn't have lasted long if I was the only one doing the work in bed, but I think you were referring to something else, am I right?"

"Yeah, I was talking about the... first time..." Artex trailed off.

Mason hummed thoughtfully, "Well the first thing you have to know and remember is that whomever she is, she's going to be scared. You have to give her time to calm down after every thing you do. Make sure you talk to her, reassure her. The other mares are there to help her and you both. Let them tell you when to proceed. Even though they bear the titles of Comforter, you need to comfort her as well. She's going to be unsure and nervous on top of being scared. Once she's ready, and she'll let you know, that's when you take her."

Artex dedicated every word to memory, "Alright. Uh, what about, erm, 'foreplay'?"

Mason looked up at him curiously, "Huh? I'm not familiar with that word. We might call it something else. Describe what you mean."

Artex swallowed, "Uh... you know... kissing, nibbling on her neck, that sort of thing."

"Well kissing is something we do all the time, both before and after. As for nibbling on her neck? I know that I bite on the backs of their necks when we're making love. It's instinctual. I bite the skin on their necks, and they widen their stances and lock their legs."

"Hmm... that might be a problem..." Artex muttered.

"How so?"

"Humans don't have a lot of instinct left in us. Well... not that I know of in regard to the act of reproduction. We still have the urge, that's certainly true and I feel it... a lot. But about how we go about it," he shook his head, "Nah, we don't have hardly any instincts at all."

"So you Humans don't bite your mares' necks?"

"Human females are called women, and no we don't, not in the way you're describing. Heck, the positions we use might be different too." Artex said.

Mason's eyebrows rose, "Positions? As in more than one?"

Artex laughed, "Yeah. I can think of seven right off the top of my head and that's not counting different ways to please one's partner with your mouth or other parts."

"Care to share a few? Might want to try something new with my wives." Mason said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

Artex groaned, "Oh man, this feels so weird..."

"Well hopefully they won't say that." Mason commented with a chuckle.

Artex sighed, "Alright. Well there's..."

* * *

Artex and Mason returned from their walk just as the family was setting out plates. Mason's wives became slightly worried when they saw their husband trot through the doorway wearing a colossal blush. They became even more curious when Mason playfully nipped Greasy Gears on the back of her right haunch. The mare danced away giggling at such an open display of arousal from her already adventurous husband.

Mason chuckled and winked at Greasy Gears then practically pranced into the living room, "Want another beer?" Mason asked, "Or we have some stronger stuff."

Artex perked up, "Stronger stuff?"

Mason laughed heartily, "Ohohoho, so you're a drinker?"

Artex crossed his arms, "Rose and I both. I can guarantee that whatever you have, I can get you something stronger."

Visceral Slaughter perked up, "Stronger? How much more potent do you want it? Isn't three percent enough? You can almost start fires with it."

This time it was Rose who laughed, "Ha! Three percent? In New Humansville they brew stuff that's upwards of twenty percent! And that's not the strongest stuff either, that's just my limit." She gestured to the man, "Artex can take anything up to thirty percent."

"Proof. Sixty proof. Multiply the percentage by two and you have the proof." Artex said, "That's my absolute limit though. Three percent will be fine, assuming it's not super expensive. I don't want to drink you out of house and home."

Mason shook his head, "Not a problem. If you like the super hard stuff, my friend Steel Soul, he's a Minotaur, gave me a couple of kegs of what he called Mountain Ale. He said it's supposed to be close to eleven percent but it goes down smooth according to him. I've never opened any of them. Want to try some out? Maybe make a drinking game out of it?"

Artex could not keep the grin off his face, "You're on."

"Hey, hey, hey! You two aren't going to get wasted without me are you?" Rose asked.

A surprising voice called out, "Me too!"

Artex was surprised to see Feather Tip holding up her right forehoof, "I bet I can out drink all of you."

Razor stood up, "Tip! You don't know what you're saying! Artex and Rose can REALLY put it away..."

"Put what away?" Feather Tip asked.

Razor put her forehoof to her forehead, "Sorry, Human figure of speech. What I mean is they can take their alcohol very well." She trotted over and nuzzled her fillyhood friend, "You don't have to show off."

Feather Tip shrugged, "May I spend the night if I get too drunk?" She asked the open air.

Visceral Slaughter spoke up, "Certainly. You were always a well behaved filly when you and Razor were young."

"Come on," Mason said rising to a standing position, "Let's go tap this keg. I might need some help bringing it up from the cellar."

"You have a wine cellar?" Artex asked.

"Hmm?" Mason turned his head, "Naw. Just a regular cellar, but the temperature is stable throughout the year. Don't want it to get too warm."

"Mason," Cloudy Skies said in a warning tone, "You stallions can do that AFTER dinner. I want to enjoy a good, wholesome meal with Razor and her herd."

Mason stopped and nodded after a moment, "Alright, that's fair."

"Speaking of dinner," Fresh Brew said, "It's ready! And we have a wide variety of teas for those of you who enjoy such things. Since we have so many over tonight, how about we all grab our plates and just sit in the living room." She looked at Artex, "I know that Humans eat meat but we don't have anything like that in the house except cricket flour. Would you like for us to make you a cricket cake?"

Artex shook his head, chuckling, "Thank you but no. I'll be fine with whatever everypony else is having." He stepped back and leaned against the far wall, "I always let the ladies go first." He waved his hand, "Go right ahead."

Greasy Gears trotted up next to him while the others filled their plates, "Is that a Human custom? Males waiting to eat last?"

Artex shook his head, "Not really. It's more of a 'me' thing. I always let my wife eat first back on Earth and I'm still me, so I want to carry on with my tradition."

Greasy Gears cocked her head, "Wife? You're already married?"

Artex sighed, "I used to be married. Back on Earth I've been declared dead by now. My wife and I had a pact that if something ever happened to either one of us, the other would move on with their life. I've been gone for two years now. I'm certain she's moved on by this point." He gestured to the tan Unicorn loading her plate with salad, "Razor Wit helped me a lot with that. I was closed up about it, didn't talk to anybody. My adopted sister, Applejack, made me promise to open up to somebody about it and Razor had been my friend for a while at that time. She was a logical choice..." his eyes glazed over at the memory, "She just sat there while I poured out my soul. I cried and I wailed and she was just... there for me. She's been my support from day one. Looking back, it's obvious that she had feelings for me long before I acknowledged my own feelings for her." He became quiet for long moments before he spoke again.

His voice was almost a whisper, "I love her so much. Losing my wife almost destroyed me... if it hadn't been for Razor's love and support..." he let the sentence trail off as he stared at her. She was laughing and smiling at her family with sister/wives, "She looks so happy... I want her to be happy... I want to be the one responsible for her joy... every day with her is a gift I cherish." He blinked slowly, "Reminds me of a quote 'yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that's why we call it the present."

Greasy Gears smiled up at the tall Human, "You're a poet?"

Artex gave her a lopsided smile, "Not a particularly good one, but I've been known to turn the odd verse or two once in a while." He turned toward Greasy Gears, "I can't lay claim to that quote though, that was penned by somebody far more clever than me. No, what I'm really looking forward to is using these," he held up his hands, "With these, I can make cribs for our foals when the time comes. I can repair doors and windows. I can craft things. I like making things for others to enjoy." He let his hands fall to his sides, "I also like making people safe."

"Hmm?" The Earth Pony mare grunted.

"I was... basically a Guard for hire back on Earth. Most of it was hours and hours of stupefying boredom. I have lived through a few things though..." he looked back up, "Hup, looks like the line is clear now." He pushed himself off the wall, "Let's eat."

Greasy Gears picked up her plate in her mouth and trotted up to the food lined up on the counter like a buffet. Artex picked up his plate. It was made of red clay, simple and sturdy. He proceeded behind the Earth Pony and admired the variety of food. The first thing in the line was a colossal bowl of Equestrian Salad which appeared to have been ravaged, already less than half full. The next item appeared to be a fresh, hot, loaf of hearty bread. From the smell alone, Artex could smell the numerous nuts and seeds and honey baked into the bread. Right next to the loaf was a tub of honey butter. He sliced off two pieces of the bread and spread them with the honey butter. The next food was a bit of a surprise to him, it resembled penne pasta with tomato sauce and parmigiana cheese. A good sniff proved him right and he spooned a portion onto his plate. The next item was obviously a large bowl of hot pea soup. The bowl had mugs next to it so Artex poured himself a mug and set it on his plate. Next was a noodle dish heavily laden with olives and various herbs and spices. The glossy sheen on the noodles lent proof that the noodles were covered with some kind of oil. He put a small mound of the food on his plate then came to the final dish. There were chopped broccoli florets, thin carrot slices, nuts of varying kinds, raisins, and dried cranberries all mixed together with what looked and smelled like mayonnaise. He scooped a portion onto his plate and carried it into the living room.

Finding an empty space between Fresh Brew and Dusty Document, he sat down with his legs crossed and held up his plate. The Kavim were eating by nibbling straight from their plates. Artex' nose was far too long for him to do the same so he did what he always did when there was no silverware available, he carefully ate with his hands. The family noticed the difference right away and watched keenly at how the lone Human ate. Artex had seen the curiosity before and he chose to ignore it.

"So Vaiawa," Visceral Slaughter began, "I'm curious how you acquire the love you need. Does somebody volunteer to be a meal every day?"

Razor's head snapped up, a low growl forming in her throat. Rose reached over and patted her shoulder. Vaiawa had expected some questions and had already decided to try not to be offended, "No need and just so it's clear, I would never do that anyway. I gain all the love I need just by skimming a little out of the auras of those around me and if the saturation is high enough, from the air around us. There is cast-off excess love all over the place and if I just take the excess, there is no damage done to any relationships or feelings. I still need normal food too, though. Love acts like a vitamin and it powers our magic, but it is normal food which keeps us alive." He pursed her lips, "Looking back on when I was growing up, I never knew what a full tummy felt like." The other Ponies stopped eating and looked up at her, "Making peace with New Humansville was the best decision we ever made. The new foals will be able to grow up in a much better environment than we did."

"Do you think any of the other hives survived?" Rose suddenly asked, "I feel bad that there are so few Changelings now."

Vaiawa shook her head, "I don't think they could have. The dragons were ravenous and determined. If any of the other hives had survived, I think they would have tried to contact us long ago."

"What do you mean?" Cloudy Skies asked.

"Dragons used to eat us all the time." Vaiawa said blandly, "Thankfully their tastes developed over time, before they ate all of us."

Every member of Razor's family bore a sympathetic expression, even Visceral Slaughter, "How many of you are there?" Razor's Mother asked.

"A couple thousand." Vaiawa answered, "A lot of that was due to the way we were forced to regulate how often we had foals and the lack of males. With Alana's new changes and the mandates of having almost a third of the remaining population becoming males, we should be able to repopulate within a couple hundred years."

"Become males?" Clean Cut asked, "How do you 'become' male?"

"If we have enough love, we can change genders, but it takes a great deal of energy. Taking on the form of a Queen was very difficult at first. It's a slow process, but it has been worth it. I can take forms that are much larger than I could before and I'm no longer the shortest of us." Vaiawa explained.

Razor giggled as she slurped up a noodle, "And now you're the tallest one." The other mares all shared a giggle at that.

Mason held up his head and swallowed a mouthful of salad, "What about you, Oriana?" he asked, "You haven't said much about yourself."

Oriana's face was thoughtful as she chewed and swallowed, "I didn't have a choice about being with Artex at first. My Mother and Grandmother are both diplomats and they were sent to Canterlot when Humans were revealed. I was taken with them because I hadn't chosen a career or a herd yet." She took another bite, chewed, and swallowed, "When Artex met with my Mother and Grandmother, they offered him any gift he wanted. He asked for the knowledge and wisdom of our species. My Mother and Grandmother decided to leave me with him so I could act as a conduit for him. I already knew how to brew potions and salves. I could have become a shaman, but that wasn't a life that appealed to me. I had no idea what I wanted," she smiled toward Artex, "But I eventually found it."

Due Process cleared her throat, "You said that you've seen combat, Rose. Do you want to talk about it?"

Rose snorted into her salad and raised her head, "Nope. It was bloody, and horrible. I hope you never have to experience it." She looked Due Process in the eye, her face deathly serious, "And if you do, I'll go with you to your therapy sessions. The therapists in New Humansville are in high demand."

Second Chance asked, "Why is that? You said that normally, New Humansville was peaceful."

Razor fielded that question, "The answer is simple: they're needed. The Humans have all suffered since they've been here. They were forcefully taken from their homes and families, thrust into a new world where their kind was unknown, and attacked by fifty members of the E.U.P. Guard. And that's all before they arrived at New Humansville. They've had to build the town from ruins, they've been forced to deal with Ponies when they're not used to other species, they fought off insane Diamond Dogs, and dealt with an attack by Bloodmages." Razor took a sip of her tea, "And those are just the really big things. I'm surprised they haven't all had psychotic episodes. They are an extremely hearty species. With all of that, is it any wonder why the therapists in town are in high demand?"

Second Chance laid her ears back, "Oh my, I'm so sorry Artex. I had no idea your species suffered so much."

Artex swallowed his mouthful, "We'll deal with it. We have a saying that Humans are like roaches, we're nearly impossible to get rid of. I do appreciate the thought though."

Greasy Gears nodded, "Your species would have to be tough in order to survive on your world. Razor said that back on your home world, there is no magic at all."

Artex bobbed his head, "Oh, yeah. We didn't even know that magic was real until we came here. Back on Earth, we have so much technology none of you would believe me if I told you."

Cloudy Skies cocked her head to the left, "Like what?"

Rose groaned, "Oh now you've done it. He can go on for hours about that stuff."

Artex laced his fingers in an Gendo Ikari pose and leaned forward, "So... what would you like to know?"

* * *

Two hours later

"... and then there's the recent advances in medical technology like cybernetic eyes. It's a chip that is surgically implanted into your eye and it links with your optic nerve. That's the rough idea, but there's just SO much more to it than that. Heck, I don't even know a tenth of what science and technology can do..."

"I think we have the general idea, Artex." Mason said. The family had been finished with dinner for more than an hour. Visceral Slaughter had been kind enough to take everybody's plates into the kitchen and wash them. Razor had still barely spoken to her Mother, but the night could have gone worse.

Mason stretched his neck, "Want to crack open that keg I mentioned earlier? I want to see how much of the good stuff you can take."

Artex smiled, "Lead the way... Dad."

Mason smiled as he rose to a standing position, "Don't start that now. You haven't married my little filly yet." He trotted out of the room and Artex followed. Mason spoke over his shoulder, "Speaking of which, when were you thinking of fixing that?"

"As soon as I have your blessing." Artex replied, "I was ready to go ahead and marry Razor within a week, but she was set on having her family accept me first."

Mason pulled open the cellar door in the kitchen and trotted down the stairs, "Well, you seem like a good sort. A really good sort. I can't say for certain if I would have dealt with the situation as well as you have."

"I don't know that I dealt with it well at all. There are so many things I could have done better." Artex said as they reached the bottom of the stairs.

The cellar was fairly small, only three Fathoms by four Fathoms. Most of it was empty. There were a few shelves which held an odd assortment of books and other knickknacks. What caught his attention was the stack of kegs in the corner. Each one held what he estimated was nearly ten gallons. Each of the kegs was wooden, he guessed oak. Mason trotted over and patted the topmost keg, "Let's use this one. I've wondered how potent Minotaur Mountain Ale is ever since I heard about it." Before Artex could offer to lend a hand, Mason nudged the bottom keg, leaned back on his haunches, and wrapped his forehooves around the lower half of the top keg. Rolling his body to the right, he plopped it on the floor, "Not too heavy." He looked up at the stairs, "Looks like we're rolling it up the stairs."

Artex spoke quickly, "Don't worry Mason, I got this." He bent his knees and wrapped his arms around the middle of the barrel then stood up slowly.

Mason whistled in approval, "I would have stopped you, seeing as you're not an Earth Pony... but you seem to have some strength in those lanky arms of yours."

Artex grinned and ducked back up the stairs with Mason following behind him. He stopped in the kitchen and gently set the keg down on the counter top, which creaked under the weight. He laid it down on its side so that the cork was at the bottom, "Looks like we don't need to tap it."

Mason set down the spigot he had grabbed while Artex was busy with the keg, "Never used this thing before."

While Mason and Artex were busy installing the spigot, Razor Wit was having a quiet conversation with Feather Tip, "Why are you doing this, Tip? You were never a big drinker when I knew you before."

Feather Tip tittered behind her left forehoof, "Razor, when we last saw each other, we weren't old enough to drink." She spoke quietly, "I've been trying to find a stallion for a while now. I've been to every bar in town and while most of the stallions are nice, my blindness is a deal breaker. They don't think of me as desirable and you already know I'm not attractive. After I went to enough bars, I got depressed and started having drinking competitions with anypony else who would compete. For some reason, when I presented myself as competitive, stallions started being attracted to me. It felt good to have them flirt with me and say nice things about me. As soon as the competition was over though, they always seemed to remember that I was just the blind Pegasus. None of them ever kept flirting after the competitions were over. I got so angry that I started being serious about the competitions." She laid her ears back, "I used to win and rub it in their faces. I wanted them to be hurt like I was every day. Your Lamine saw me doing that one day and took me aside to talk to me. She was right... I was just being mean and hurting myself by hurting others. I still went to the bars for fun, but I stopped being mean." She perked up as she went on, "I enjoy drinking and I've got a good tolerance. It's fun to get tipsy. Besides you learn a lot about somepony when they're drunk. Getting drunk doesn't change who they are, it just brings it to the surface. It's fun with those you trust and I trust your family." She smiled, "Why don't you join us?"

Razor bit her lower lip and gave the matter some thought, "Alright, I will."

"You speak a good argument, Feather Tip," Oriana said, "I will drink too."

Vaiawa shrugged, "Might as well."

Feather Tip smiled widely, "This is going to be fun."

Author's Notes:

My computer has been brought back from the dead! My talented brother came over and worked his magic. Afterward, he calls me and tell me that every single problem with the computer was caused by operator error. *hangs head in shame*

*sigh* Let me know if you spot any typos. Oh and the Ongoing Character Q & A blog is still going so feel free to post any questions you have. Just be sure that you specify to whom the question is being asked and only write one question at a time. Be sure to check older questions and answers. Who knows, maybe somebody already asked your question.