Author's Notes:

What hast thou wrought upon this mortal realm, Zapper frost?

"TWILIGHT!" Celestia screamed into her phone from under a table, "WHAT THE BUCK DID YOU GIVE PINKIE?!"

"...Biohazard coffee?"

"WELL, SHE IS A LIVING BIOHAZARD NOW, NO THANKS TO THAT!"

In the distance, Pinkie continued to remake reality in her own image.