Sitting on your couch, you practice folding and folding your legs. Is it supposed to be right leg on top of the left knee? Or left leg on top of the right knee? Do you keep the leg out far, or close? Is suppose it matters on your gender. Or does it? Do guys keep it wide to protect the jewels? It probably doesn't matter if you have pants on. There can't be people SO perverted that they'll just stare at an area of perfectly clothed- Okay, yeah never mind.

You decide that this amount of over-thinking of a basic social action is clearly not what you want to do with your day, so you rise to your feet and your best to not think about how you're breathing. Because you control that. Breathing that is. Breathe. Do it now.

Stumbling to the door, you open it wide to find, well nothing. Duh. There's nobody at the door, you idiot. Why would someone be at the door?

You close the door, feeling stupid for thinking that anyone would possibly be outside.

Then, three gentle knocks. You swing the door open to find Fluttershy sitting on the other side.

But, you take a step back, looking down at the mare. She's different today. Very different. She's wearing some light make up. And... are those covered up crows feet? Her hair is done up differently. Still long and styled, but clearly dyed and highlighted. She peers at you over half-lidded eyes, biting her bottom lip.

"Hey there, young man," Fluttershy says. "Mind if I borrow a cup of sugar?~"

You pause, frozen in place, your gaze moving to her delicately manicured hooves, the pearl necklace. Fluttershy seems... older. And not just like a few years. She looks as if she were her mother, if that's how looks and genetics worked in Equestria. But they don't, and nobody knows, so stop trying to make sense of it.

"How did you become old, Fluttershy?"

"Oh, old isn't the word I'd use Anon. It has such a bad rap these days," she coos. "I prefer the word... refined. Or perhaps... Experienced."

She giggles to herself as she crosses the threshold into your home and runs a hoof down your pant leg and traces it up towards your crotch.

"So, tell me, Anon... Are cougars your fetish?" she asks softly, sensually.

You feel your pants begin to betray you as you lift her into the air like a cat that took your fucking chair. God damn it, Jade. I fucking WRITE in that chair.

"N-no!" you say with all the resolution of a kid deciding between two presents. "Now go home!"

You toss Fluttershy out of your home and slam the door behind you. You pant to yourself.

"This isn't okay. That was too close. I swear... if she got close to MILFS..."

You shake your head, trying to pull yourself together.

"Just relax, Anon. It'll be fine. She'll never get it. She'll have to try almost 1000 times in order to get it right."

A chill runs up your spine, wondering to yourself if someone, or somepony is behind your door, even though there wasn't any knocks. As if... Fluttershy is on the prowl.