You stand outside your home, staring at it inquisitively. Something has honestly just occurred to you. You've lived in this world for... who knows how long? Months? Years? Wait, don't think about that. It's not worth dwelling on that. We can't dip our funny with our existential dread today.

On topic, you stare down at your lawn. Where the grass sits quietly. Waiting. Contemplating. You see, on Earth, there was such a thing as yard work. It was fucking miserable. It ate up time on weekends. It wasn't fun. The best you could do was maybe listen to music or an audio book as you did it. But... here's the rub.

You've never done yard work in Equestria once. Not ONCE.

You kneel on the ground and stare at the grass. It looks like grass. There's no cut marks. No bite marks. It just... is there.

"I'm fuckin watching you, grass. Don't think I don't know what you're up to."

"U-uhm, Anon?" a gentle voice asks.

"Not now, Fluttershy. I'm watching the grass grow," you say.

"Grass doesn't grow in Ponyville, Anon."

You turn to her with a speck of curiosity.

"Really?" you ask. "That... seems just untrue."

"Well, it does grow," Fluttershy says. "Grass can't just -not- grow. But in some cities or towns in Equestria, the unicorns have magic spells that they can cast on the ground to have the plants not grow."

You rise to your feet and scratch your head.

"So, wait, not magic? Why not, I dunno. A fertilizer or something?"

Fluttershy smiled to herself and nods her head.

"We tried that! And it made weird spiny tentacle plants that did unspeakable things to all of us."

You raise a hand to your mouth.

"You know, I should really be more surprised... but I'm really not."

"Right?" Fluttershy says. "It's nothing fazes us as a species anymore!"

"You guys must have really crazy hentai."

Fluttershy tilts her head, looking up to you.

"What's a hentai?"

"Nevermind," you say with a sigh. "What's your guess today?"

Fluttershy pulls her saddlebag off her and opens it wide. Inside you see a weird bundle of black seeds. You raise your head back to her.

"Are those the tentacle plants?" you ask.

"Uh-huh!" she says happily.

"Where did you get those?"

"Why, my good friend, Discord! He's been helping me with ideas lately. What do you think?"

"I think you should burn those," you quickly reply.

Fluttershy sighs and reholsters her bag.

"Oh, well fiddlesticks. It was worth a try! I'll see you tomorrow, Anon!"

Fluttershy turns and leaves, as three tiny black seeds leap out of her bag. Your gut drops. You dive to catch them, but they dig themselves deep within the soil, as if they had a mind of their own.

"Okay. I think I better get Twilight."