"What the fuck am I doing?"

You look down at yourself, and you suddenly realize that your mind has led you to do something stupid. Again. You have shoes on your feet. You have shoes on your hands. And you have shoes on your knees. Most importantly, you're on all fours, like some poor human who identifies as a handicapped centipede.

You try to move your left knee and right arm forward at the same time. Then, you repeat for the other two.

For some reason, you thought that you could probably learn to trot. You know. Like the ponies do. But, surprisingly, this shit's pretty fucking hard for a human. Then, when you saw yourself in a mirror, you could only feel ashamed of your life decisions up until this very moment.

You rise to your feet and toss your hand-shoes into an empty corner.

"Thank God nobody watches me. That would have been embarrassing."

Then, those three knocks grab your attention. Oh boy! Plot direction!

You head to the door and throw it open wide. Fluttershy stands on the other side, wearing a concerned expression.

"Sup, Fluttershy?" you ask, oddly in a good mood for a change.

"Goud Mourning, Aenon," she says, slowly and deliberately.

You stare down at her, perplexed.

"Uh. What are you doing?"

"Aim traying tew due tudae's gues."

"Uh. No. You're trying to give me an aneurysm. That's what you're doing."

She shakes her head, taking another deep breath.

"Air taypos ur feetish, Ahern? " Fluttershy asks.

You slap your forehead in frustration.

"Fluttershy, I think you're just getting lazy. Don't come back until you have an actually good guess."

You slam the door in her face.

"Sheet!" Fluttershy yells.

You turn away from the door and stare at your home.

"Holy FUCK. I have nothing to do."