The sun moves down the horizon, filling the sky with a crimson-orange light. It's been a long day. A really long day. But at least it's Friday. Which means you can go home, crack open a cider, and just relax.

As your home comes into view, you can't help but smile, feeling the book close on your week. Now it's time to rest. Now it's time to finally let-

Those are lights on in your house. Why are there lights on in your house? You know for a fact that you shut them off. You always do. The lights should not be on in your house.

Which means one of three things: Ghost Lights, An Intruder, Or Fluttershy. And two of those three things require a good ass-whuppin in order to be dealt with.

As you walk up the sidewalk to your home, you eye a hoe on the ground. Walking past Rarity, you pick up a rake and scold the white unicorn for laying on your lawn again. She whines about something dumb about getting a tan and fucks off.

You walk up to the door and grip the handle. Then, you pause. Suddenly, you feel like there's something you should do. Something that will make all of this feel more... at home.

You gently knock on the door three times.

"Coming!" calls Fluttershy from inside.

You groan, and toss the rake back into the grass. Fluttershy opens the door to your home and beams up at you.

"Welcome home, Anon! Come on in!"

"Fluttershy, you have a fucking LOT of explaining to do to explain why you're in my house."

"A-and I will. Just come inside first," she says, stepping aside for you to enter your own goddamn house.

You cross the threshhold and close the door behind you. Fluttershy merrily trots to the kitchen, and you follow her. Then, as you walk inside the kitchen, you notice the lights are dimmed and there's a lit candle on the table.

"So Anon, what do you think?" she asks.

You walk to the place you sit at the table and sigh.

"You set up a romantic dinner. I get it. Something, something. Symbolism. I'm sure you really worked hard at putting all of this together. But this isn't doing anything for me sexually. I don't get off to interior design."

Fluttershy pulls out a notepad and scribbles down a note, then shakes her head.

"No, Anon! Look on the plate in front of you," she says.

You look down to your plate and you freeze. That's when the aromas begin to hit you. That's when you notice the dirty dishes in the sink. You pull out a chair and sit down to better examine the plate in front of you.

That... that's a porkchop. That's a breaded porkchop. You lean in and sniff it. Yeah, that's meat. That's actual meat. In Equestria. And it smells... it's smells good. No, better than good. It smells like the first decently cooked and cut piece of meat you've seen in Equestria since you've arrived.

"This... this is meat," you say.

"Mhm!" she says happily. "One of Applejack's piggies were getting old, so they had to put her down. Once they used everything they could, they were going to bury the rest. I asked if I could use the rest of her to feed some of my carnivorous animals and thought... well, maybe this could all work out in your favor too."

You poke the porkchop and begin to notice everything around it. That's grilled asparagus. Lightly coated in some sort of teryaki sauce and wrapped in bacon. Wait. Hold the fucking phone. That's bacon. Jesus Christ. You haven't had bacon in what feels like a lifetime. Fucking vegetarians hors-.

"Wait a second," you mutter.

Your eyes move to the next item on the plate. And you definitely smell it. Garlic. Yes, those are mashed potatoes. No, better. Smashed russet potatoes, which the skins still in, lathered with butter and garlic. Little bits of green onion layer the top as your eyes move up to meet Fluttershy. Then, you notice the bottle of Merlot and a glass.

"It's already airated. So it should be ready to drink," she says. "I-I worked really hard to try and make a gourmet meal for you. D-do you like it? I-is good food your fetish?"

You raise a hand to silence her and you pick up a fork. Then, you spy the side salad. A spring green mix with what smells like a raspberry vinagrette, dusted with sesame seeds. You dig in your fork and take a bite. The raspberry swirls through your mouth as you examine down at your plate, unsure what to eat first.

"O-oh! I almost forgot!" Fluttershy says.

She moves to the counter and brings back a small saucer.

"I used the drippings and some of the wine to make a gravy. But it came out more like a sauce. I-I hope you like it."

Your eyes move to the gravy, then back down to your food. You take a knife and gently cut into the porkchop. The meat is so tender, you could have easily have cut it with a fork. Stabbing a bite of porkchop, you dip it into the gravy, and watch as the excess drips into the saucer. You take a bite.

And it's like heaven melted into your mouth. You aren't even ashamed of the boner you have right now. This is your first bite of meat you've had in years, and your body screams for it. It welcomes it in like a middle-aged man bringing home an escort.

"What do you think?" Fluttershy asks.

You cut some of the bacon off the asparagus and stab it with a load of potatoes, then munch on that as well. You taste the garlic mix with the butter with the light hints of charcoal, but also the gentle sweetness of the sauce on the asparagus. This is better than any restaurant you could have gone to in Ponyville. This... this is out of this world.

"Fluttershy, I'm going to level with you here," you say. "This is the best food I've eaten... like. Ever."

Her eyes light up and she giddily hops on her tips of her hooves.

"S-so is it your fetish?" she asks.

You bite into more of her food, savoring every bite.

"No. Food isn't my thing."

You sip the wine, closing your eyes and enjoying every taste of it.

Oh my god. Fluttershy can fucking cook. This is the best. You know what? It's friday. Let's the cut the mare some slack. Heck. It might not even be bad to get laid after a meal like this. Fuck it. Let's give her a chance.

"But, I'll tell you what. How about I-"

But when you open your eyes, she's gone and the front door clicks shut. You look from the door, then back down to your food.

"Ah. Well. I tried."