You sit crosslegged in front of your door, waiting patently. Your eyes are locked on the center, and your soul is filled with determination. Today's the day. It's the important day. Package day.

You've been waiting for these pieces for weeks now. Today, your television will be fixed. Now you can finally watch television and movies and masturbate to porn and other... things now.

Reaching for a cup of coffee, you take a deep sip while petting the toaster sitting in your lap. You decided to name it Sparky. It seemed somewhat fitting given current events.

Your ears perk when you hear hoofsteps walking up the road to your home. Setting down your coffee and throwing the toaster over your left shoulder, you rise to your feet. You totally don't squeal like a little girl. You don't do that. That would be weird.

Three little knocks on the door signal the arrival of a guest.

You swing the door open, and a yellow pegasus sits on the other side, smiling up at you.

"WHAT?! WHAT?!" you scream out loud. "NO! NO! BAD! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE A PACKAGE. NO."

"I-I can be a sexy package if y-you want, Anon..."

"No! I mean. FUCK. YOU DIDN'T BUG ME FOR, LIKE, MONTHS. NOW HERE YOU ARE. ON THE DAY THAT'S THE LEAST CONVENIENT FOR ME."

"Oh!" Fluttershy says, her voice brightening. "That reminds me! I have a fetish guess today!"

You pause, staring at the yellow horse as if she took a shit on your front porch. Not to be confused with the look you gave her on the day she shit on your porch. That was way worse.

"Alright, fucking fine. Get it over with. I have important shit to do today."

"So!" she begins, her tail swaying. "Is crippling disappointment your fetish, Anon?"

You snicker to yourself.

"Looks like someone's read too many Anon stories," you mutter.

"What?" she asks.

"Nothing. Listen. I don't get it. You're going to need to explain. What should I be disappointed about?"

"Uhm..."

"And do it quick too," you say. "I have a package coming today and I'm really really-"

"Your package is inside of me," she says.

You stare at Fluttershy blankly.

"Uhh, Fluttershy. That's gross. Don't be gro-"

"No! Really! I ate your package."

"Oh! okay, well now it all- YOU ATE MY FUCKING PACKAGE?!" you scream.

"Uh-Huh!" she says happily. "There was this weird green horse that said I should eat it with my butt, but I decided to chop it up and put it into a stir fry. I thought it was really-"

"No, hold on a second," you say.

"Oh! Okay," she says happily.

You move away from your door to the nearby closet. You pull out a crossbow and a quiver of bolts. Loading one up, you move back to the door.

"Okay, Ten," you say.

"Uhm, Ten what?" she asks.

"Nine, Eight."

She squeals at the top of her lung. Then with a flap of her wings, she takes to the sky and is out of sight. With a groan, you slam the door and toss the crossbow on the ground.

The bow goes off, shooting a bolt directly through Sparky. On this day, innocent lives were lost.