You hold two pieces of bread, staring at the spot on your counter where your toaster used to be.

"Welp. This sucks."

You move to the oven, take out a pan, and lightly oil the bottom. Putting the toast on the pan, you make your morning coffee. It's kinda good to be back to normal. Things are bland. Things are boring. But things are good.

Holding your mug of fresh, black life juice, you flip your toast once the first side becomes a nice golden brown. Let's see. Maybe we can pull a prank on Fluttershy today? It might be entertaining to see her thrown for a loop. How about the old mirror gag? That one's always a classic. We'll just repeat everything she says and try to mimic her actions.

Taking your toast off of the oven, you hear the knock on the door. For once, you smile at the thought that Fluttershy just arrived. Jogging to the door, you take a deep breath and compose yourself. Alright, we can do this.

You open the door and Fluttershy smiles happily up at you. Throwing on her smile, you beam back at her.

"Hi, Anon!" she says.

"Hi, Anon!" you answer back.

"I was- wait, what?"

"I was- wait, what?"

"Are you copying me?" Fluttershy asks meekly.

"Are you copying me?" you answer back, your words beginning to crack under your own humor.

Fluttershy raises a hoof to her chin. You raise a hand to your chin. Fluttershy then pauses, and you freeze. She waves her hoof and you wave in return. Fluttershy then smiles and stands on two hooves. You pause, unsure what she's getting at.

She moves her right hoof down and begins to viciously rub her pelvis.

"Nope. You had to go and make it weird," you say.

"Wait, no! I can make it unweird!" she says urgently.

You watch her in silence. She looks back up at you, her eyes desperate.

"I-I love you," she says.

"What's your guess?" you ask, officially done with this gag.

"I-is zoophilia your fetish?" she asks.

You open your mouth to speak, then suddenly stop.

"Fluttershy, you're a horse," you say.

She nods her head, then suddenly realizes the implication of her question.

"So, realize that when I say: 'No, I'm not into zoophilia,' that it means I have ZERO interest with sex with a horse."

Fluttershy's eyes widen.

"You take that back!" she says urgently.

"Nope. I have no sexual attraction to ponies. At all."

She opens her mouth and raises a hoof, then closes her mouth and her hoof drops to the ground.

"S-so... never?" Fluttershy says, sadly.

"Never," you answer.

"Nope!" Fluttershy says happily. "I don't believe you. I just think you're in denial."

"Wait, what?"

"Yep! I'll see you tomorrow, Anon!"

"Wait! You think I'm in denial by denying that.... by being in denial?!" you call back. "That doesn't make sense!"

"Since when has anything here ever made sense, Anon?" she calls back. "Bye-Bye!~"

You open your mouth to call back, but then close it, grumbling under your breath. Slamming the door, you go back to your toast and munch on it idly.

"Fucking Fluttershy," you mutter. "I need a new toaster."

Author's Notes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bei4S1RQB3M&feature=youtu.be