Author's Notes:

This extremely short production has been brought to you in part by: Nebulus.

Who likely would call me mean things if he found out I was drawing attention to him. So, SHHH. DON'T TELL HIM.

You wake up, knowing the inevitable is about to happen. Why in the world would today be any different? It's the same sorry day after day. You lazily slog through your morning routine, preparing yourself for Fluttershy's daily guess. Standing at the door, you sigh, hearing her happily trot her way up the worn path to your house. You rub your forehead and open the door immediately after she knocks once.

"What? What is it today?"

"Are you into jokes that a Dad would make?" she asks.

"No, I'm Anonymous."

Fluttershy smiles widely.

Wait. Shit. Shitshitshit. No way.

Sweat drips down your forehead.

"Anon, what time is it?" Fluttershy asks.

"Time to get a watch."

Your sweating intensifies.

"Anon, I'm getting close. I know I am."

"Hi, Getting Close, I'm Anon," you answer instinctively.

"Date me."

"I'd rather an apple."

"Anon, why won't you give me a straight answer?" she asks.

"I guess I have a twisted sense of humor."

"I need your dick, Anon," she orders.

"My brother, Richard? Sure, I'll give him a call."

"What? No! I want to screw."

"Oh. Why didn't you say so? Phillips or Flathead?"

"No! I want to fuck you!"

"Really? Didn't know you were into lady sheep."

Fluttershy stares at you. You stare at her.

"That was a long time ago, Anon," she says firmly.

"Woah. I was just making a joke. Jesus. I. Uh."

You close the door and stare into the space of your home.

"What just happened?"

Later that day, Fluttershy visits Applejack's farm get reacquainted with an old friend. Next thing you know you're wearing a suit, staring forward in bewilderment, and watching Fluttershy and a sheep kiss as the congregation around you lets out uproarious applause. Rarity can't stop crying next to you. Rainbow Dash's smile is a mile wide. You try to clap but find that you just can't.

"Well, at the end of the day, at least I got the wool story."