Author's Notes:

Once upon a time there was a dude named Raritan. He asked me to write him a story, and it came out really bad. This is that story, pretty much untouched. Sorry.

The magnitude of your belch nearly shakes the nearby suit of armor. A suit of pony armor. How does that even work?

"Anonymous! Would it kill you to have a little decency? We ARE going to be having a private dinner with the Princess."

"Oh come on! Applejack, you gotta admit that was a good one."

The orange pony darts her eyes from you to Rarity as you and the mane six head towards the dining hall of Canterlot Castle.

"Well, ah reckon it was a good one."

Rarity scowls at her friend.

"But Rarity has a point. We should have our best manners tonight."

"Thank you, Applejack. At least MOST ponies here have some sense of class."

"Well I guess that's what makes me human," you reply.

Your sly grin only proves to peeve off Rarity even more.

"Settle down you two. We are almost there." says Twilight, leading the pack.

"Great! I'm starving."

Rarity rolls her eyes.

"You're ALWAYS hungry, Anon."

"So is Pinkie, but nobody ever gives her flak."

Pinkie leaps into the air and lands beside you.

"That's because I burn like a million zillion calories a day Nonny! That's why I bounce around all the time and go all-"

Suddenly Pinkie is on the other side of Rarity. You should be surprised, but you've stopped trying to understand this mare a long time ago.

"Okay. I think I get it."

"Yeah, big guy. You may want to watch it on the seconds a bit."

Rainbow decides to join the conversation.

"I could help ya work some of that extra gut off ya know. Get some cardio in your routine."

You laugh and shake your head.

"I'll have to consider it. Then again, it's not like Applejack isn't already a slave driver at the farm."

The whole group lightly chuckles.

"Yeah, yeah. Just wait till Monday, Anon."

As you approach the large golden doors to the royal dining hall, you feel Fluttershy rub her cheek on your leg. You push her away.

"No. Bad pony."

"B-but Anon. I-"

"If you are going to act like a dog. I'm going to treat you like one. Now, stop it."

She hides her face behind her mane dejectedly. The six of you take your seats and wait for Princess Celestia to arrive.

"So what are we havin?"

"Anonymous!"

Rarity scoffs.

"What? Oh. I suppose that's inappropriate too."

"Ah gotta admit I am interested, too," backs up Applejack.

A guard approaches the table and the seven of you turn your attention to him.

"Apologies from the Princess. She's running a little behind."

"That's fine. We can wait for her," replies Twilight.

Your stomach groans and the entire room turns to you.

"What? I didn't actually say anything."

The guard takes his leave and Rainbow and Applejack begin their own side conversation about some running competition they have. Apparently they are almost always tied.

How does that even work?

Fluttershy scoots her chair closer to you.

"So Pinkie?"

The pink mare turns her attention to you with a wide smile.

"How's the bakery doing? You rarely talk about your job when we hang out."

"Ooh! It's nice! Although, lately the Cakes said that I couldn't begin sampling the cookie dough anymore. I just can't help myself with the taste tests. I have to know if the next taste is like the last one. Then the next one. Then the next one! Then the NEXT one!"

How does this mare get to eat this much and keep such a great figure? Wait.

Are you commenting on the figure of a horse? You've been here WAY too long.

Fluttershy scoots her chair closer to you again and looks at you timidly.

"So Anon..."

"No."

"B-but I didn't-"

"Nope."

Her face gets red.

"You won't even let me-"

"I don't care."

You look down at her with a wide smile and she fumes up at you.

"I need to go to the fillies room."

Fluttershy stamps away from the table while Rarity looks at you with frustration.

"I simply don't understand why you won't go out with her Anonymous. The two of you have sooo much in common," interrogates Rarity.

"Rare. Name three things Fluttershy and I have in common."

Rarity places a hoof on her chin and thinks to herself.

"Well, the two of you are quiet... um... um..."

"See. You can't even name three things."

"No. They are there. Twilight help me out."

"Well they both like animals."

"Wanting to have a dog is different from liking animals, girls."

The girls roll their eyes.

Stupid, sexy Anon. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He got you so worked up and flustered that you could just scream! You are a better pegasus than that though. However, you are also completely lost in Celestia's castle.

"Umm... Hello?"

You continue down the hallway, trying to find somepony who can help you to the little mare's room. A few doors down, you see a light through a partially closed door. Carefully you make your way towards it.

"E-excuse me?"

Pushing open the door, you peek inside. What awaits is a completely empty kitchen, filled with this evening's various courses.

"I-is anyone here?"

You make your way into the kitchen and towards the meal. It looks absolutely delicious. A ding from a timer rings through the kitchen. You squeal and backup into a machine that roars to life. A tug from your rump grabs your attention, Dread fills your soul as your tail slowly gets sucked into the juicer.

"HELP! PLEASE!"

You feel your body slowly get sucked into the machine where tonight's lemonade awaits. Closing your eyes, you wait for it to all be over soon.

"Lemonade, miss Rarity?"

"Why thank you, sir. I'm simply parched."

The waiter serves glasses of yellow liquid to each of the ponies at the table. Water was fine for you.

"Hmm. Does this taste funny to anypony else?" inquires Twilight.

"If by funny you mean AWESOME!" replies Rainbow.

"Silly, Twilight! Lemonade isn't supposed to be funny. If it did, the jokes would be really tart."

"Wow, Pinkie. What a pun."

She beams at you.

"Girls... Ah don't feel so good." Applejack says with a pained expression.

Rainbow finishes her drink and moves to Applejack's side.

"You doin alright girl?"

"Ah dunno. My body is just gettin all warm."

You look at the apple pony curiously.

"You don't look so great, AJ."

She looks up at you and locks onto your eyes. Her pupils dilate and slowly her eyes become half lidded.

"Anon~..."

Woah, what?

"Uh... Applejack?"

The orange pony lifts herself on the table and slowly walks towards you, swaying her flank.

"Ah think you could use some ol' fashoned lovin."

You back up your chair.

"What are you doing AJ?"

She leaps off the table and rubs her face against your leg.

"Somethin I shoulda done a long time ago..."

Rainbow Dash pushes her off of you.

"Jeez, Applejack! What's gotten into you!"

Phew.

"Everypony knows that Anon is mine!"

Aw shit.

You get outta your chair and back up from the two mares. Their eyes are locked in on you in a gaze of lust. A purple aura surround them and lifts them into the air.

"He's MINE!"

Twilight charges at you.

"Fuck! What's WRONG with you girls."

You rip open a nearby door and sprint down the hall. What changed since you got here? Normally only Fluttershy tries to rape you. Now it's like everypony is trying to. There's an open door on your right.

You duck in and slam the door behind you. The gallop of hooves is heard running past the room. Letting out a sigh of relief, you sink to the floor.

Looking around, tile floors and bright white kitchen appliances fill the room. Awesome! Chow time!

You head over to the plates of food that must be your meals. They all look really fancy, but the portions are all so small. Stupid fancy food.

You shove a plate of food down your throat and look around for something to wash it down with. Oh hey. The lemonade.

You head over to the near-empty pitcher of lemonade. Something looks wrong with this juicer though. You look at the top of it and find traces of pink hair inside the juicer. What?

“Wait."

Pulling some of the hair out of the juicer, it's extremely long. Definitely Fluttershy's.

"What? Why is her hair in the juicer?"

Then it hits you. Your friends all drank the lemonade. What if Fluttershy was in the Lemonade?

Would that make it... Rapenade?

"Hiya, Nonny!"

You jump backwards and try to scramble away from the pink pony.

"Pinkie. Tell me you didn't drink it."

Slowly she makes her way towards you, waving her flank.

"Oh... not yet Nonny... but don't worry."

She leaps on top of you.

"I'd love to drink your seed."

You push her off of you and scramble for the door. Pulling hard, you see her on the other side with her legs spread wide.

"I'm waiting, Nonny."

"FUCK!"

Slam the door and turn around. Pinkie in latex.

"Does this turn you on, Anon?"

Keeping your eyes on Pinkie, you open the door and run back into the hall. This is a nightmare! They all drank that lemonade.

Which means there are five mares all trying to claim your dick. As if one wasn't bad enough already. Ducking to the right, you run face to face into Rainbow Dash.

“Oh SHIT!"

One-Eighty no scope and speed down the hallway.

"Tryin to play hard to get? I like that in a stallion."

She's hot on your tail. Oh shit, there is a fork up ahead. Left or right? Left or right?

Shit.

She's right on your ass with outstretched hooves. You slide and Rainbow runs straight into the wall. Rainbow falls to the ground, unmoving. Nononono!

You check her pulse. Still living. Good.

You run down the hallway and see an open door. Maybe you can hide from all these crazy mares. Jump into the open room and bolt the door behind you. You place your back against the door and try to catch your breath. Looking around, you think you may have made a terrible mistake.

Sliding down the door, you find yourself in the library.

You try to unlock the door, but a purple aura stops the lock from budging.

"Aaaaannnnoon."

You whip around. Nopony is there.

You edge yourself around the room, trying to hide from the skilled unicorn. Every new bookshelf could hide the awaiting rapist. Peek around the corner.

The coast seems to be clear.

There also looks like an exit. You only got one shot at this. Sprint at the door with all your might. Trip and fall on your face.

Fuck.

"There you are."

Your body is enveloped in purple.

“Shitshitshitshithshit."

"Now I can show you what I've learned from all those books at the library..." Twilight says in a passionate tone.

She lays you out on a table and undoes your pants with her magic. You try to fight her magical hold, but it proves to be fruitless. Twilight plants kisses on the inside of your neck. You close your eyes and look away.

"Oh, Anon... you don't know how long I've wanted you to be-"

"MINE!"

Rarity soars through the air and kicks Twilight off of you. The purple aura dissipates off you while the two unicorns fight over you. Fixing your pants, you run out of the library while they are distracted. Sprint back down the hallway.

What the hell are you going to do?

You have to find a way to cure them. Celestia has to know something. She would help you!

Probably.

There was that one time that you took a shit in her bed. But now the two of you laugh about it. Plus you haven't called her Sunbutt in over a month. She probably is completely over when you ate all of her cake. The doors to the dining hall stand in front of you.

"There you are Anon!"

"SHIT!"

Jumping inside the dining hall, you grab a sword from a nearby suit of armor inside the hall and use it to brace the doors. That will work.

Until they use magic.

Looking across the room, you see the Princess sitting at the head of the table, staring at you.

"Celestia. I need your help. Fluttershy juiced herself into some form of rape juice. The girls drank it. Now they are all trying to rape me and I don't know what to do."

The princess just stares at you.

"If it's about the time I took your scepter and replace it with that scepter Twilight made in school.. I'm sorry, but there are more important things right now."

She rises from her seat. This isn't like her. Celestia at least answers you.

You look to the table and see the pitcher of Lemonade.

It's empty.

Dread fills your soul.

A deafening boom comes from the doors to the dining hall as the five rapists try to break in.

"Please, Anon... Call me Tia."

"Shit..."

You're cornered.

Another deafening boom comes from the doors. Grabbing a chair, you hold it up to her as if you were fending off a lion. She tosses it across the room with a simple spell. You back away from the lust driven alicorn. Your body is enveloped in golden light.

"Don't you want to serve your Princess, Anonymous?"

"Fuck you."

Another deafening boom comes from the golden gate to five more rapists. She moans a little bit.

"I always love when you talk tough, Anonymous."

With nearly no effort, the dining table is cleared and she throws you on top of it. She leaps into the air and lands on top of you with her majestic wings outstretched. The sword breaks from the strain and the five little ponies enter the dining hall. They collectively gasp and each show their own form of restraint from wanting to take you from Celestia.

"Oh. I'm happy you all joined me my little ponies. I was about to feast on this wonderful specimen. Would you all care to join me?"

The group collectively nods.

"Fuck."

It's another quiet day in Equestria. You became a hermit ever since you were gang raped by six colored horses. Then they all pissed another pony, in liquid form, into your mouth.

That isn't really the kind of thing you can just walk off.

At least things have been a little more normal now that you are away from any form of pony life. The quiet and solitude were the only two things you really had left in life. You relax on the couch of your home. It'll be time to harvest from your garden soon, but this little moment of silence means the world to you.

A knock at the door shatters your soul. You haven't had visitors in months. A terrible stench fills your nose as you approach the door with terror flowing through your veins. You rip open the door quickly, like a band-aid. Standing in front of you is a brown winged pegasus.

No. Wait.

It's Fluttershy, completely covered in shit.

"Hi Anon. Is scat your fetish?"

“H-how? You were... juice."

"Bathroom things..." she says meekly.

You slam the door and run up to your room. Shut your door and lock it with the fourteen additional locks that you installed. You crawl into bed and cry yourself to sleep.