Take a deep breath in through your nose, then let it exit gently through your mouth. It's another day in Equestria, and you are fine. You will be okay. There's a lot of difficult things going on in your life right now, but that's okay. You'll push through them, because you are strong. Just take it one day at a time. Everything will work itself out with time.

You open your eyes, pull yourself out of bed, and rub the sleep-salt from your eyes. You quickly toss on a shirt and pair of jeans before heading downstairs. You cast a disdainful glance at a stack of very important papers you're trying not to think about. You'll try to sift through at least five of them today. That's the goal. But first, you need to refresh yourself. You need to take care of yourself.

You get out a blender, because you have that now. After tossing in a banana, a few berries, some orange juice, oats, and a dollop of peanut butter, you set it to mix and prep the coffee maker.

After you have some healthy food, then you can approach the stressful things. You need to take a moment for yourself to take care of yourself. Just clear your mind, and lose yourself for a moment.

Then, there's three gentle knocks on your front door.

"Shit," you mutter under your breath.

That's it. That's the agitator. When things don't go to plan, everything begins to go wrong. You can't act like you don't expect the yellow menace to show up every morning, but what she can try to do, or has done, or could do, is still a terrifying prospect. You never know when her guesses might cause you to break your leg, and force your health insurance to go up. Or could suddenly set your home aflame, forcing you to find a new home, again. On the bright side, you've learned to live with as few of possessions as possible, but on the other hand... houses are fucking expensive, man.

You head to the door and open it wide.

"Anon!" she says excitedly, hip-hopping on her little hooves. "I finally figured it out. I'm so excited. I think I finally did it."

"You said that yesterday," you groan.

"But today I really did it!"

"Last week. Whatever. Just get it over with."

Fluttershy raises a hoof to you, which shows a bright red bracelet attached to it.

"Is waiting until marriage your fetish?" she asks.

You pause, looking down at the mare.

"Wait, what?" you ask. "Like, abstinance?"

"Yeah! I took a vow to wait until marriage. So if you wanna tap this piece of tail, you're gonna need to put a ring on it."

You raise a finger before lowering your hand. You open your mouth to say something, but stop yourself.

"What do you think?" she asks.

"I'm... genuinely surprised," you reply. "This is kinda... I dunno. More in line with your character. I guess. It's just... weird. Like, who are you and what have you done with the real Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy drags a hoof against the ground, blushing to herself.

"D-does that mean I finally got it?" she asks.

"Oh hell no," you reply. "Marrying someone without knowing how good they are in bed kinda sounds like a nightmare. Like. Could you imagine if you had a partner that just laid and bed and said 'Okay, it is time,' then forced you to do all the work? Sex is a natural, healthy part of relationships. I mean, I can appreate the sentiment for not wanting to transfer STD's, but there's nothing wrong with sex before marriage."

Fluttershy pauses, staring at you.

"So, it's not abstinance?" she asks.

"Nope," you state matter of factly.

"Oh thank God," she says, tossing the bracelet into the bushes. "I was actually scared for a moment."

"Yeah, no worries."

"See ya tomorrow, Anon!" she says to you, turning on the spot and heading back down your walk way.

"Please don't!" you call back, which never seems to work.

You head back inside, close the door, and realize you've left the blender on for 5 minutes. After grabbing a cup of coffee and pouring out your smoothie, you take a deep breath and pull the first bill off the top of the stack.