As the crystal train moved closer and closer to Canterlot, Slade began to ponder what the best course of action would be. He may have, for the moment, found himself outside of Candence’s bad graces, but there was still the matter of Celestia and Luna to deal with. From what he had read in the reports about Equestria, the two princesses were normally kind and caring rulers. But they also had fought against nearly every evil that Equestria had thrown at them.

‘Of course, from looking at their track record, it also seems that they have been beaten by every evil force that they fought,’ Slade mused to himself as he looked through their file. Cadence had been generous enough to grant him his own train car for the rest of the journey. She had said it was so he could rest if he wished to, but Slade figured it was more along the lines of that she didn’t want him hearing what she was saying to her ponies.

Not that it bothered Slade in the slightest. The time alone allowed him to do more research about Canterlot, where the two princesses ruled over the land of magic. Two princesses who, if he were a betting man, he would wager knew the location of the magical source that he had been hired to steal. Of course, Slade rarely gambled. He hated uncertainty, discord and randomness. Those things had nearly cost him his son and had cost him his family. So he eliminated them at all times.

Having read all he needed to about the two princesses, Slade moved onto the six heroes of the world. The Ambassadors of Harmony. Twilight Sparkle. Fluttershy. Applejack. Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash. And Rarity. The six that had fought and defeated all of the foes that Celestia and Luna failed to so much as slow down. While the rulers might be a minor annoyance to him at best, Slade had been foiled by heroes far too many times to underestimate them.

Twilight was the first one that he devoted his attention to. She too was an alicorn and, according to his reports, meant that her magical power far exceeded that of all of the other ponies. She was proficient in magical spells and combat, was a skilled leader and negotiator, and had a nasty habit of finding a way to overcome any evil she was faced with. She was trouble, Slade knew that much.

But as he continued to read he learned that she was far from perfect. She was a neat freak with O.C.D and hated it when anything went off the rails or didn’t g o according to plan. Like him. Also, like all of the other heroes, she wouldn’t risk the lives of her friends or the innocent to stop an evil foe, for the records showed that she surrendered absolute power to a being named Tirek to save her friends. That made Slade smile beneath his helmet as numerous plans on how to beat her came to mind.

He studied Rainbow Dash next. She was fast, faster than sound, and a decent fighter according to the files. What she wasn’t, however, was a thinker or a planner. The files and records showed that she preferred to rush headlong into battle and damn the consequences of her actions. Slade sighed a little when he read that. Beating her would be too easy.

Neither Fluttershy nor Rarity gained any interest from Slade. One was a coward that worked with animals. The other was a dressmaker that was annoying and cried a lot. He could kill them both with his eye closed. They were annoyances, and yet, somehow, were both chosen to be two of the six saviors of the land. Slade wondered how could an ancient power be so foolish.

Applejack was a quick read at best. Strong, fast, and the second in command, she could provide a challenge for most evil forces that were facing her. But Slade had conquered Batman. He could conquer a small horse with a cowboy hat.

But it was the last pony on the list that gained all of Slade’s full attention. Pinkie Pie. At first, she looked like a normal, albeit strange, pony that was pink. Her achievements were hardly impressive and from what he read she seemed to be more annoying than dangerous.

But then Slade got to her list of powers and abilities, which made his eye widen with shock. Teleportation, superspeed, the ability to duplicate herself, immunity to nearly all forms of damage, blatant disregard for gravity and the other natural laws. Able to scare a monster ten times her size with nothing more than a smile. And always seems to know more than she lets on despite how silly she acts.

‘That sounds a lot like Deadpool,’ Slade thought to himself. He closed to laptop and glanced at his current weaponry, wondering if the tools he was carrying would be enough to stop a reality breaker like Pinkie. He then wondered if they would be enough to stop the merc with a mouth. ‘No, I’ve beaten the Justice League. I’ve beaten gods, monsters and everything in-between. I can handle a sugar addicted pony and some regenerating freak in red. I can best anyone.’

The train began to slow down and Slade looked out the window to see that the train was pulling into a station. He then glanced out the other window to see a very long drop on the other side of the tracks. That told him that they were almost to his destination. Canterlot, the city on a mountain. Where the princesses ruled over Equestria. And were invaded and overthrown every other month.

Slade rose to his feet and pressed a button on the side of the laptop, causing it to begin to fold in on itself until it was small enough to fit inside one of his pouches. Once he had secured the device, he opened the door to his train car and moved between cars to enter the car containing the ponies.

Upon entering he felt every eye in the room glance over at him, allowing Slade to feel the distrust and uncertainty that they all felt towards him. Not that he was bothered in the slightest. As he walked up to the princess in the car, he felt the train slow to a halt, before a burst of steam from the front of the train informed its passengers that they had reached their destination.

“Alright Slade, here’s the deal. I’m going to speak with the Canterlot royal guard and tell them that you are working for me. As long as they know that, you shouldn’t be harassed by them,” Cadence informed Deathstroke, before her eyes turned dangerous. “However, if you set a single toe out of line or show them that you are a threat to this city in anyway, then the guard have been ordered by Princess Celestia to bring you down. And there are hundreds of them.”

“Only hundreds? Now I see why Canterlot has a habit of being invaded by the villain of the wee. They would do well to avoid me,” Slade replied coldly. Cadence wasn’t sure if that was a joke or not, but then looked at who she was talking to and assumed that he meant what he said. The doors to the train slid open and Cadence stepped out onto the platform, while her own guards stood between Slade and his exit. He could hear her talking with the armored ponies standing on the platform and from the looks on their face they were none too happy about what they were being told.

But eventually the princess won out and a moment later the ponies keeping Slade in stepped to the side, allowing him to take his first steps onto the city of Canterlot. The buildings were all made of a white material, the ponies appeared to be the cream of the crop and a feeling of magic washed over the city.

“Slade, I, tentatively, welcome you to Canterlot, home of the princesses of Equestria,” Cadence said in a less than thrilled tone. “Now remember to watch your step, because you never know what magical villain may have taken over Canterlot.”

‘Oh, I know what is here,’ Slade thought to himself as Cadence began to speak with her husband and the guards. ‘The location of what I seek. Let’s hope that the princesses don’t make getting it too…difficult.’

“I think Twilight likes me,” said a slightly crispy Wade to Pinkie as the two walked through the streets of Ponyville. After throwing Wade through her first floor, Twilight then used the same tactic to get rid of the fire. Unfortunately for Wade, he had been fascinated by a ladybug that had landed on him and didn’t see the fire come until he was already set ablaze.

Once Twilight had dealt with the fire that was consuming her house, she had glanced out the window to see both Pinkie and Wade roasting marshmallows…over Wade’s burning flesh. In a desperate attempt to extinguish him, Twilight used her alicorn powers to cause a rain cloud to start pouring down on Wade, extinguishing the fire and his fun at the same time. Then a bolt of lightning crashed through Twilight’s window and set her home on fire once more. Twilight, having enough for one day, had suggested to Pinkie that she take Wade to see her other friends before racing off to save her home once again.

“I know! I can’t believe how quickly she…warmed up to you!” Pinkie punned before giggling to herself. “It was like she was a moth drawn to a flame. I’m certain that I saw sparks fly!”

“I don’t get it.”

“Anywho, now we’re off to see all of my other wonderful friends!” Pinkie exclaimed as she hopped alongside Deadpool.

“Let’s just hope they’re as nice and friendly as the rest of this wonderful town!” Deadpool exclaimed before he started to wave at the ponies he passed by. “Hello there, friend!”

“Freak!”

“Good morning to you, ma’am!”

“Back off, weirdo.”

“What a lovely child you have there, lady.”

“I have pepper spray and I’m not afraid to use it! And so does my son!”

“Such a lovely community,” Deadpool said with a longing sigh once the pepper spray had stopped burning his eyeballs. “You know Pinkie; you’d think that because this is a full faced mask that also covers my eyes that it would be able to stop things like pepper spray. You’d be wrong.”

“I’m sorry about them, Wade. They can be a little…cold to ponies or people that they know nothing about. It wasn’t too long ago that they were all terrified of Zecora, a friend of mine who’s a zebra. It took them months before they fully welcomed her into their community. Just…give them some time.”

As Pinkie said this, a pie came flying from off screen and exploded on the side of Deadpool’s face. Both he and Pinkie turned to see an old mare shaking her hoof at Deadpool, before yelling a curse word and then slamming her windows shuts. Pinkie flashed Deadpool sympathetic eyes as he pulled the pie off of his face, though most of the whipped cream was glued to his mask.

“Wade…I’m…”

“Look Pinkie, I’m barely here a day and already they’re giving me gifts,” Deadpool exclaimed happily, before he began to eat what remained of the pie despite his mask getting in the way. “And you said that they wouldn’t like me.”

“Yeah…Yeah! At this rate the whole town will love you before the day is out!” Pinkie exclaimed confidently. “Come on, let’s go introduce you to my friends! I’m sure that they’d love to meet you!”

“We would love to meet who now?” a southern sounding voice asked.

“Applejack!” Pinkie exclaimed as she threw herself around her possible cousin. The orange mare with the light yellow mane chuckled as she patted Pinkie on the shoulder, before the two broke apart and both gazed up at Deadpool.

“So is this yer new friend that ah’ve heard so many rumors about?” Applejack asked Pinkie.

“Wow, you’ve already heard rumors about Wade? What are they saying? WHAT ARE THEY SAYING?!”

“That he’s a freak, an eyesore and has no right disturbing the peace of our small town,” AJ said with a shrug. “And those are the nicest ah’ve heard.”

“And I can be all that and more, my lovely southern belle,” Wade said as he wrapped an arm around AJ’s shoulder, immediately getting AJ to worry. “I can be whatever you want me to be, if you so wish. Tell me, are you doing anything later tonight?”

“No, why?”

“Because I have something really fun and super interesting that you could be doing?”

“And what, dare ah ask, is that?”

“Me!”

Applejack looked up at Deadpool for a full thirty seconds after he said this, while Deadpool looked back at her with a smile on his face. AJ then sighed before she slowly turned around, positioning her back to be facing Deadpool. She cracked her neck, shook out her legs, and crouched down slightly, all the while Deadpool watched with anticipation. Then, with enough force to knock over fully grown apple trees, Applejack bucked both of her hind hooves into Wade’s privates.

CRACK!

The sound of her hooves striking Wade’s manhood echoed out across the town, making every stallion that heard the sound wince all at once. Even Pinkie had to avert her eyes and grit her teeth, for simply hearing the sound was enough to inform her that the kick had to have hurt.

“Ha, you think that bothers me?! Do you know how many times I’ve been kicked below the belt before?! I’ve been kicked down there by guys with metal legs, guys with super soldier serum and even the Incredible Fucking Hulk! You think that hurt me?! I’m way tougher than that!” Deadpool roared defiantly.

Of course, neither of the ponies heard him. What they heard, as they gazed down at the man in red who was curled into a fetal position with both hands on his dick and tears streaming out from his mask, was a high pitched squealing sound. The squealing was so high pitched that the only beings nearby that were able to understand what Wade was saying were dogs.

The dogs, however, found Wade incredibly tough.