Just Another Job
Chapter 30: A Fate Worse Than Death
Previous Chapter Next ChapterChains of magic wrapped themselves around the limbs of Lobo, who strained against the combined might of the four princesses of magic. Strong as he was, and minus Superman's lack of resistance to magic, the four princesses powers combined were enough to hold him in place for a moment. And a moment was all Deadpool needed.
"Flying Explosive Dropkick!" Deadpool yelled out as he leapt into the air, spinning over a dozen times unnecessarily, before extending both legs and ramming them into the chest of Lobo. Like the common housefly smacking into the windshield of a car going well over eighty miles an hour, Deadpool splatted against the pecs and delts of the Main Man and crumpled in a heap at his feet. The healing factor, which at this point had never had a day off, kicked in and a moment later Deadpool flipped over to the ponies.
"It can't be. How could he had survived my final and clearly well known finishing attack?" Deadpool asked Celestia, who was too busy trying to keep the merc from moving. Then a massive explosion consumed Lobo and set his entire figure on fire. "Oh that's what it was, I hadn't properly synced the explosives with the kick. Whoops."
"Is now really the time for your infernal insanity?" Deathstroke asked Deadpool as he stood next to the ponies, glancing down at Pinkie who was observing the flaming Main Man. "And why would all of you bother to save me, knowing full well what I had planned to do to your world?"
"We didn't. She did," Shining informed Slade, causing him to turn to see Shining Armor holding Flurry Heart. "Despite all you've done, she still saved your life. Either she's too young to know what an evil monster you are or she is a saint, but she keeps saving your life. She must get that mercy from her mother."
"Great, I am in the debt of a baby filly once again. I must pay that back immediately," Deathstroke snarled as he drew his blade and turned to face Lobo, noticing Deadpool drawing his swords along with Deathstroke. "As much as it pains me to say this, only together can we hope to have a chance against Lobo. For their sake, let us put aside our hatred for each other and work as a team."
"Sniff...that is the nicest thing anyone who hates my guts has said to me," Deadpool sniffled, tears leaking out from beneath his mask. Deathstroke rolled his eye before the sound of chains snapping gained both of their attention, before the both of them ducked to avoid the four princesses that flew over their heads and into the back walls. Twilight was the first one up and she leapt over to her friends, the six of them charging up to their Rainbow forms.
"Two mercs, four princess and a whole crayon box of ponies. This is one of the weirder days," Lobo said with a chuckle as he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a cigarette, which he then lit with a wielding torch. "But I gotta admit, this seems like a hell of a lot of fun. Alright, you rainbow pukes, come and get me."
"One more, girls. We just have to beat one more threat and then our world is safe once more!" Twilight roared before she and the other five began to fly around Lobo, blasting him with their Rainbow power. Lobo snarled as he was pushed back by the power, but aside from some burning on his arms the Rainbow power didn't seem to be hurting him all that much.
"You can't be serious," Celestia said as she and Luna made it back up to her hooves. "The Rainbow powers strength should be amplified in here, but even with that additional boost it's still not enough to so much as wound this madman!"
"That is where you are wrong, Celestia," Deathstroke said as he narrowed his eye, zooming in on the area where the magic was striking Lobo. "The Rainbow power is wounding him, but his body heals at the same rate that he takes damage. At this point neither seems to be able to out do the other."
"Great, another weirdo with the ability to heal. Does everyone in your world have that ability?!"
"Not at all! There's only Wolverine, Hulk, X-23, all the weird Deadpool rip offs, She-Hulk, Red Hulk, Abomination...and don't even get me started on Doomsday. His healing makes mine look logical."
"The solution, Celestia, is to overtax his healing ability," Deathstroke informed the princesses. "While Deadpool's may allow him to recover from anything short of being erased out of existence, Lobo does have a theoretical limit to how much he can heal."
"What do you mean by theoretical?" Luna asked.
"What he means is that no one has ever hit Lobo hard enough so that he stays down," Deadpool translated. "But hey, I've seen plenty of things weirder than a healing factor that shorts out."
"Do either of you have anything that is strong enough to take him out for good?" Cadence asked.
"I've got enough nukes to keep the Hulk at full power for the next thousand years, but I'm fairly certain that Lobo can come back from that," Deadpool replied with a concerned tone. "And I'm fairly certain that you've got nothing in your bag of tricks that can stop him?"
"You are right. Even with my new ability to summon weapons, none of the ones I own can stop Lobo," Deathstroke snarled. "But...with the Rainbow power...follow me."
Deathstroke lunged into the fray, throwing grenades into the face of Lobo. The explosions temporarily blinded the Main Man, getting him to string together a slew of curse words that Shining hoped that Flurry wouldn't remember. Deathstroke roared as he drove his blade into the head of Lobo, the blade being strong enough to pierce the Main Man's skin.
"Ponies, focus all of your power into this point!" Deathstroke roared, pointing to where the blade was slowly digging into Lobo's skull. The girls all nodded to each other and concentrated all of their magical power into that one giant ball that shook the room with its power. The very color was drained from the air as the ball sucked in all of the magic that it could find, which, being next to the source of all magic, was an incredible sum. Then, with one last roar of power, the girls fired their blast towards Deathstroke's sword.
Slade had the good sense to leap out of the way before the magic struck him, giving Lobo just enough time to snarl before the magic caught him square in the head. His screams echoed throughout the chamber as the magic seeped into his skull, before his entire head detonated and unleashed a shockwave powerful enough to fling everyone and pony into one of the walls.
Celestia and Luna's magic protected Deadpool, Cadence, Shining and Flurry. The Ambassadors Rainbow powers protected them from their own attack. And Deathstroke's armor just barely managed to keep him alive in the face of such an explosion. Yet despite surviving the blast, the knockback was still strong enough to hurl everypony into the walls. The ponies collapsed to the ground in exhaustion, having been drained of nearly all of their magic. Celestia and Luna could barely remain conscious. And Deathstroke couldn't feel any of his body, while his own healing factor put in overtime trying to stitch him back together.
"Is it over?" Pinkie asked, being the only one of her friends who could remotely move. All eyes turned towards the eye of the explosion, where a now headless Lobo lay on his back, with his blood pooling from his neck. A sigh of relief escaped the lips of all of the ponies and even Deathstroke laid his head on the ground in relief.
Then both of Lobo's middle fingers went up...and his head exploded back out in a spray of blood a moment later.
"Holy shit that hurt," Lobo said with a laugh as he rose back up to his feet, cracking his neck a few times and checking his mustache. "Got to hand it to you little pukes, you hit hard. Not hard enough to stop me, but it's safe to say that I'm impressed. Course, still gotta kill you all, but at least I'll remember you this time. But first. Slade. Time to end this."
"Heh, this is what I get for trying to help others," Deathstroke muttered to himself, unable to so much as lift his head. None of the ponies had the strength to move their limbs, nevertheless try to take down a practically unkillable monster. Only one person had recovered fast enough to get back up, but even Wade knew that he wasn't strong enough to stop Lobo. But then, Wade never won his battles by being stronger than his opponents.
"Twilight, hey Twilight," Wade said as he slide down next to Twilight, who barely had the strength to move her head to look at him. "How much magical power would you say you have left?"
"Enough to maybe cast one more spell. But it doesn't matter. I don't have anything that's remotely close to strong enough to bring him down," Twilight weakly wheezed, cursing her own weakness.
"That's perfectly alright. Because I don't need a spell to hurt him physically. All I need to know is one thing. Can you transfer a persons mind?"
For a moment Twilight stared at Deadpool with confusion. Then she fully grasped what Deadpool was planning to do and she looked back and forth between Deadpool and Lobo with horror in her eyes.
"Wade...isn't that...you can't...even he doesn't...this can't be-"
"Banned by the Geneva Convention and considered an illegal use of force in three million different countries. But it's all we can do," Deadpool said as he laid a hand on her shoulder. "Come on. Be a friend."
"Lobo...forgive me," Twilight whispered before her horn began to glow.
Lobo picked up Slade by the neck and dangled him in the air, before he rested the other hand on top of Slade's head. "Well Slade, gotta admit that it's been a fun few years fighting with ya, in both ways, but money is money. I'm sure that if you could kill me, you'd go after me too. But this how things work. Time to-"
'Hold on a minute partner.'
"What the fuck?" Lobo asked as he looked around for the source of Wade's voice, only to see the red clad merc laying braindead on the floor. "How do I hear your voice?"
'Because I'm in your head, silly. Oh we're going to have such a wonderful time together, but first I have to get you caught up. Ready to go on a journey?'
"What, you going to try to take control of my body?"
'Nope. Just going to help you see the world...the way I see it.'
"Ha, like that would...how can there be so many different realities? All the different versions, the different stories. GRAH! All the pain, t-the..." Lobo began to scream as he held his hands to his head, his eyes darting back and forth across the room before they locked onto something but nothing at the same time. "You mean...so many...reading and watching...but that...am I really...nothing more...than a comic-"
A snapping sound was heard and a moment later Lobo fell over, his eyes rolling back into his head while his tongue dangled out of his mouth. Everypony stared at him in disbelief, before Deadpool sat up a moment later. "Wow, that guy's mind was weird. Who thinks about that much leather?"
"Wade...what did you do to him?" Cadence asked.
"Simple Cadence. I let him into my mind," Deadpool replied. All of the ponies look at the motionless and drooling Lobo, each of them taking a moment to pity the now broken man. "Seems that he couldn't handle how I do things. But it's over now. He's done."
A sigh of relief spread across the group, with the ponies all helping each other up. The full weight of what they had just avoided sunk in and cheers began to spread out across the group. The Ambassadors all gathered around Deadpool and gave him a big hug, only to back up almost immediately when they realized he was drenched in his own blood. Cadence and Shining shared a smile before hugging each other. And even Celestia and Luna sighed in relief. That was until Flurry sobbed.
"Pirate gone," she whimpered.
All eyes snapped towards where she was staring, only to find that what she said was true.
Deathstroke was gone.
"And he took my Deusexbullshitmacguffin!" Deadpool realized as he looked down his pants. "That motherfuc-"
"Language!"
And then Shining blasted Wade across the room.
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