FOAL FREE PRESS
OATS VS HAY OVERTURNED IN CANTERLOT

This morning in the capitol city of Canterlot, the Equestrian Supreme Court overturned a decades-old case protecting a mother's right to choose what to feed their newborn foals.

'Foals into dead guards!' was the primary chant being yelled outside Canterlot Castle in the hours following the court's decision, by those who believe feeding foals hay increases muscle density, and thus preparing them for a career in the Equestrian E.U.P. Guard.

"Seriously?" Chancellor Neighsay asked back when questioned by a reporter. "Since when has the life of a guard ever been remotely dangerous, aside from amazing alternate timelines that don't get nearly enough expanded looks?"

"'Ah can only hope that the news today pushes more and more ponies away from the big-box foal food providers, and towards more locally-sourced options, like applesauce," offered local Ponyville farmer Applejack. "Those corporate sleazebags need to be shown what the rest of Equestria thinks of their 'nutritional' authority."

I love it when my creative juices kick on when I'm pissed off at the world.

Fuck religion. That is all.

Thanks for reading!