Fluttershy and I stood outside the door to my house. I had been in this house for an extremely short time, and already my life had changed. I had yet to see if it was definitely for the better, but so far, it seems like it was. I had four new friends, a seemingly accepting Mum, a romantic interest and I had been reunited with an old friend that I thought I had driven away. We both stood outside silently, waiting for me to open the door. I had my hand on the handle, but I was frozen in space. My nerves were getting the best of me and I know they really shouldn’t, especially seeing as my Mum had a positive reaction when we talked on the phone, but I guess I was always going to approach situations overly apprehensive.

“Are you okay, Dash? I don’t have to be here… I-if you d-don’t want me to, of c-course…”

I turned around and shook my head. “Of course I want you here, Shy. I don’t think I can face my Mum alone.”

“It’ll be fine, okay? You heard how your mum reacted to this when you told her on the phone. She was nothing but positive.”

“I know, but… I’m still nervous. I just don’t want to disappoint her.”

“You won’t, Dash. She loves you. Don’t forget that.”

I breathed in heavily, then slowly exhaled, trying to let all of my worries out with my breath.

“Okay. Let’s do this.”

I pushed the handle down and walked into my house. Fluttershy followed not far behind and looked around at the bare walls. It definitely seems that my mum has had other things on her mind recently as the last few times we had moved, she had enjoyed decorating our new house and trying to make it more like a home rather than just a house. None of those houses ever felt like home to me.

We walked into the living room and saw my Mum sitting on the couch, watching some TV show. I cleared my throat and she turned around, clearly not having heard us walk in.

“Dash!” She rushed to stand up and ran toward me. I prepared myself for the huge hug that followed. “I was so worried! You had me scared to death!”

“I’m so sorry, Mum.”

“Don’t you dare be sorry, Dash! You have nothing to be sorry for!”

“Y-yes I do!” I cried into the hug, sobbing enough that it wracked my entire body. “I ran away, I worried you, I’ve been the shittiest kid ever…”

“I don’t care, Dash. You’re safe and that’s all that matters.”

“Please… Let me be sorry…” I cried pitifully.

“Fine, Dash, but you still don’t have to say it.” She pulled away from the hug but kept her hands on my shoulders. She looked into my eyes and smiled, yet her eyes were full of tears. Was this just her showing a strong face for her child, or tearful happiness?

“Sit down, Dash. I want to talk to you about a few things.”

We walked over to the living room table and pulled out a few chairs.

“So… I take it you’ll start dressing more… Feminine from now on?”

I nodded and stared at my feet. For some reason, I couldn’t even bring myself to look at her.

“Dash, I… I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to do this. You gotta help me here.”

I choked on my sobs and coughed a couple of times. What did she want me to say, that I’m sick? That I need help? That I want to… Change parts of me? Fluttershy stepped forward and put her hand on my shoulder, the comforting gesture filling me with just that little bit of confidence.

“It’s OK, Dash. We both love you. You’re safe.”

I looked over my shoulder at the person who had been my best friend for years and saw a calm, reassuring smile on her face. I nodded and looked back to my Mum.

“I want… I need to see a doctor. They can give me some p-pills that will change the hormones in my body. I can avoid putting myself through puberty as a dude and instead… I’ll be a girl.”

My mother stayed silent for a few seconds and then nodded shakily.

“Do you want to ch-change your name?”

“No… Rainbow Dash is already androgynous enough, but I’ve heard s-stories of a few other people… Like me who change their name.”

“So I guess… You’ll need to tell your friends at school?”

I froze at the thought.

“W-well, not exactly. I kinda… I haven’t told all of them, but… How do I put it, uh…”

Fluttershy spoke for me.

“Rainbow was not presenting as female the first day she came to school, but all of her and my friends thought she was a girl anyway. She’s actually very lucky in that her voice hasn’t changed and she looks quite girly already.”

“Really?” My mother asked. “I always thought he- Um… She, sorry, was quite masculine.”

My body locked up and my stomach pitted when I heard her say that.

“N-no!” Fluttershy said, a sense of panic in her voice. “She really doesn’t look masculine at all. Especially not with her new haircut and with her clothes. She’s extremely lucky. Not everyone is as lucky as her.”

“I guess h- She is…” My mother looked down with disappointment in her eyes. “I’m sorry Dash. I know that… This is a part of you and I know I need to accept it, but it’s gonna take time to take all of this in.”

“I know, Mum.” I sat in silence for a few seconds before speaking again. “I’m sorry I’m not the son you wanted.”

“Dash, you are the son I wanted! O-or, you are the d-daughter I wanted. Sorry, it’s all still fresh to me, but I do want you! Just because you want to be a girl doesn’t mean I would ever hate you or be disappointed. Yes, it’s a big shock, but you’re still my… Child. You’re still mine and I still do, and always will, love you.”

“How?” I asked.

“How? How can I love the kid I spent thirteen years of my life loving?”

“I-I’m a freak. Dad said I was a freak and he was right.”

“No… No, Dash, he... I might not understand why you want to change, but I’m still going to support you in every way. Just because I’m happy being the way I am doesn’t mean everyone else is. Why do you think people go on diets? Or wear makeup? It makes them feel good to strive towards what they want to look like.”

“Firefly is right, Dash. People try and change themselves all the time. If you’re going to be happy from it, who is she to judge?”

“Dash, you’re not out there murdering people or causing mayhem, so it doesn’t matter! This makes you happy. Being a girl… Makes you happy. What kind of mother would I be if I said you couldn’t be happy?”

Tears of joy were pouring down my face. I looked at both Fluttershy and my Mum and saw nothing but love for me. I broke down and my Mum held me close.

“Shh… It’s OK, Dashie. We’re here for you and we’ll never leave you.”

After the conversation with my mum, Fluttershy and I went up to my room. She suggested that I get some sleep and I could tell from the way she was talking that she was equally exhausted from today’s events. Who wouldn’t be? It wasn’t even so much physically draining as it was mentally and emotionally.

I put my head down to sleep and stared out the window, counting my blessings. I had friends for the first time in my life. Real friends that didn’t talk about me behind my back. It hardly felt real.

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“Alright kids, good workout today! Get yourself washed up and ready for next class.” The coach shouted to our class. I happily jogged to the changing rooms, glad to get out of my gym clothes and back into fresh new ones. I always would rush to the change rooms to be the first one in so I could grab a stall and avoid getting changed in front of everyone else. I still felt kind of nervous going into the girls change rooms and stood at the door for a bit.

“Hey Rainbow, what’s wrong? Kinda wanna get changed asap over here.” A voice said from behind. It was Lightning Dust, a girl from my gym class and another fitness nut.

“U-uh, yeah, sorry Dust.” I stepped out of the way. She eyed me strangely as she passed.

“Dash, are you alright? You look like you’re sweating up a storm.”

“Y-yeah, just y’know, ran really f-fast this class, you know? Heheh.” I stuttered out.

“Well, if you’re sure. Oh yeah, avoid the stalls today. The toilets got flooded by some idiot stuffing it full of an other kids lunch. Unless you feel like getting changed in shit-water, that is.” She gave me a short salute before heading into the bathroom. The room was surprisingly occupied with a few other girls, seemingly from another class that ended around the same time as ours getting ready for their gym class.

Shit, no stall? I couldn’t get changed in front of all these girls! And Dust was right, I was soaked in sweat and the stalls at the back were flooded, so much that water was leaking all the way into the stalls on the other side. There was no way I could wear this outfit to my next period. I cautiously made my way in, trying to not look at any of the changing girls as I did. I moved to the corner and put my bag down on the bench. Just as my bag hit the floor, a familiar, nasal voice rang out.

“Watch out girls, looks like the dyke’s here. Wouldn’t want her feeling you all up, huh?”

I spun around to find myself face to face with Sharp Quartz and her goons.

“Looks like your girlfriend’s not here to protect you this time, freak.” She said with a snide laugh and a confident “Hmph.”

“I’m not a freak.” I spoke through clenched teeth, my brow furrowed in anger.

“Oh yeah? You’re not, are you? Last time I checked, it’s not exactly normal to fuck other girls.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be in suspension right now?” I asked.

“Why don’t you mind your own business, dyke? If you must know, I was pardoned for good behaviour.”

“You are so full of shit, Quartz.” Lightning Dust piped up from behind her.

“You too, huh?” Quartz said before Lightning started to advance on the bully.

“I think you’ll keep your distance if you’d like me to still keep your little secret, hmm?”

She stopped in her tracks and angrily glared at Quartz before giving me an apologetic look.

“That’s what I thought. Now, what to do with you…” She looked me up and down like a piece of meat.

“Girls, grab her bag.”

Before I could even react, the two goons following Quartz leant down and snatched my bag from the bench.

“Hey! My clothes are in there!”

A few girls in the change rooms gasped, while the rest of them ignored what was happening. Either Sharp Quartz had some dirt on them as well or they just didn’t care enough.

“Throw it in the stalls. I was punished for speaking the truth, now you’ll be punished for submitting everyone to what you were doing with that backwater hick, Applejack.”

Immediately after she said that, one of her goons flung my bag over the toilet door and I heard a loud splash as my bag landed directly in one of the overflowing toilets.

“Hey!” I shouted and pushed Quartz in the chest. As soon as I did so, I realized I had made a mistake.

“Did you just touch me?” She looked absolutely flabbergasted, like I had just killed a puppy before her very eyes.

“Did you just touch ME!? No one EVER touches me, you freak!” She shoved me back, sending me careening into the benches. While my shove had been more of a ‘back off’ shove, hers was filled with utter malice and contempt. My forehead smacked into the bench and my mind was filled with a flash of pain. Stars filled my vision and I struggled to find what way was up or down.

I could hear voices saying something around me but in my haze, I couldn’t make out anything they were saying. I thought I heard my name said a couple of times, but I was in no state to react. After a short while, I felt my consciousness leave me and I blacked out.

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My eyes were filled with a sea of grey. I tried to pull them open, but they felt like they were filled to the brim with lead. I eventually managed to pull them open only to find myself staring at an unfamiliar roof with a bright fluorescent light buzzing over me. My mind went over the last few minutes of my memory, recalling what had happened slowly. I finished class, went to get changed, got teased and then pushed over by Quartz… Then what? I remembered the pain, but nothing after that.

I let out a groan and saw a face appear over mine. Familiar purple hair fell down from her head and obscure the extremely artificial light that was blinding me before.

“Rainbow Dash?” The voice said. “Are you awake?”

I groaned again, trying to formulate a response, but my head was still swimming with dizziness.

“Nurse? I think she’s awake!” It said again and another face coming into my vision, this one with pink hair.

Suddenly, my eyelid was pried open and a light was shone into it, causing me to wake up further and realize just how much pain I was in.

“Ffffuck…” I complained, my head beginning to throb in pain with every pulse of my heart.

“Rainbow Dash, my name is Nurse Redheart.” She said. “Can you remember what happened to you?”

“Sharp Quartz…”

“Who’s that, hun?”

“A student… Pushed me over…”

She turned to the purple haired girl.

“Do you know who that is, Twilight? Unfortunately I don’t know the names of many of the students here.”

The purple haired girl who I now recognized as Twilight Sparkle turned to me with an extremely worried look on her face.

“I do.” She said grimly. “She’s made fun of another friend of mine before and got punished for it. She definitely hasn’t learned her lesson, it seems.”

“OK, can you fetch Principal Celestia for me? She needs to know what has happened as soon as possible.”

Twilight nodded before running off. With my head throbbing intensely, I tried to pull myself up but immediately, my head began to swim and I fell back down. Nurse Redheart saw what happened and ran to my side.

“Rainbow, you mustn’t get up right now. You probably have a concussion from your fall so please try to rest, but don’t let yourself fall asleep. It can be dangerous to go to sleep with a concussion.” She said, her voice caring but clinical.

I grunted in reply and lay my head down. I only realized when I tried to calm down that I had been tensing my muscles the whole time and let my muscles relax. I heard Nurse Redheart say something and her hands began to pull at my clothes, but I wasn’t paying attention enough to register what she had said. It was only when I felt my pants get pulled down that I realized something was happening.

“No! Argh…” I shouted, eliciting a painful throb from my headache.

“Rainbow, your pants have blood on them from the fall. I have to get them off so I can put you in a gown.” Before I could protest, she pulled them down fully. I tried to cover my privates with my hands, but I could tell I wasn’t doing a very good job as I heard a gasp from both her and another voice to my right. I glanced over to see that Twilight had only just re-entered the room as the nurse was pulling my pants off, giving them a full view of what I had down there.

Redheart composed herself and continued her work, pulling my pants off fully before moving to remove my shirt. She worked with an air of professionalism, but I could tell she had a million thoughts flowing through her head, like “why did the girl that was lying in front of
me have a penis.”

I covered my face with my hands as Twilight nervously excused herself before leaving.

Why did this happen to me? It's like the universe was out to get me. Did I do something to piss of some kind of cosmic entity and they now had a thousand year grudge against me? Cos it seemed like it.

From outside, I could hear some people arguing. It was extremely hard to hear exactly what they were saying, especially with the nurse causing a bit of noise on top. I heard my name said a couple of times, and I could definitely tell that one of the voices was Applejack. Mostly because she was bellowing out profanities targeted at Quartz and, sought of strangely, at Twilight as well.

I could almost assume that Twilight had confronted her about my gender. What else could be causing Applejack to anger so much?

All of a sudden, the door to the room was slammed open and Applejack rushed in, stopping by my side. Nurse Redheart stepped to her side and put a hand on her shoulder.

“Miss, I must ask you to leave.”

“Rainbow, can you hear me?” She ignored her. “I'm gonna get Quartz for this, just you wait. Ah’m gonna knock that prissy little whores teeth out!”

I groaned in protest, as I knew Nurse Redheart needed space to do her work, but was interrupted before I could say anything legible.

“Where is she?” Applejack shouted. “I'm gonna make sure she wished she was never born!”

I managed to reach out and grab hold of Applejacks arm, turning her attention to me and ceasing her tirade temporarily.

“Applejack, please… Don’t do anything to Quartz.” I mumbled out. “Let Redheart treat me. It really… Really hurts.”

“B-but… But what about… Rainbow, Quartz has crossed the lin-”

“Applejack, please!” I protested.

She looked around, trying to think of an excuse to object, but eventually she calmed down, closed her eyes and slowed her breathing.

“Thank you, AJ.”

“She's not getting away with this, girls.” Twilight said from behind Applejack. “There's no way any of the teachers can turn a blind eye to what Quartz has done.”

Applejack nodded with determination before looking back to me.

“Please, girls.” Nurse Redheart said. “I must treat Rainbow Dash.”

Applejack reluctantly nodded before turning away and heading out the room. I relaxed myself and laid back down fully. As my head hit the pillow, I saw Applejack appear above me and lean downward all of a sudden, pressing her lips against mine.

My mind was blank with shock. Applejack was kissing me. It was nothing fancy, but it was the most enrapturing experience of my life. The outside world disappeared for that brief moment before Applejack pulled away and ran out of the room.

I laid there in stunned silence as Nurse Redheart stared at me.

“Jeez, you kids…” She shook her head, smiling, before getting back to work.

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I lay in the recovery room, or the closest thing this school had to a recovery room, thinking over what had happened. Twilight had seen me. She knows what I am. A freak.

Will she tell them? Will she tell the truth to all my friends? On one hand, if she does tell them, I won't be lying to them about who I am anymore. On the other, I'd probably lose most of them. Applejack and Fluttershy knew. Rarity and Pinkie did not, but they probably would soon.

I knew what would happen. Half of them would support me, the other half wouldn't. Fluttershy and Applejack would be too stubborn to cut me off and I'd create a rift in their friendship. I would ruin this amazing group of friends all because of my selfishness.

I had to be the one to do it. I had to eject myself from this group or they would all suffer. I would have to say goodbye to Fluttershy. She was the only one besides Applejack who I knew supported me, and I had to tell her we couldn’t be friends.

Saying goodbye to Applejack would be the hardest. I knew she had romantic feelings for me and I most definitely had romantic feelings for her, but I needed to tell her why we couldn’t be together. My heart felt empty and sore at these feelings. It hurt so much to even imagine this stuff happening, but it hurt almost as much to imagine their friendship falling apart because of their conflicting opinions.

I eventually managed to fall asleep, my eyes full of tears, and my mind dreaming of home.

Author's Notes:

Hey everyone, sorry it's been a while! I've been preoccupied with other stories (mostly greentexts on ptfg) but I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Working on another chapter for my other story too, so look out for that coming soon-ish.