As anyone who has moved to a drastically different location before will know, the whole experience sucks. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy to be out of that shithole town that I was in less than a week ago, but having to say goodbye to friends you've known for years, hangout spots that you have fond memories at, even saying goodbye to that crappy school where everyone hates you is hard. And trying to get used to such a similar yet vastly different place was even harder. This town was just as average as the last. It had the same looking streets, the same shops, and I fucking knew that the school would be the same too. Canterlot High, it was called. What a shitty parody. I knew this town was pretty big on horses, but God damn.

Not to mention that this house was almost the same as well. Two stories, two bedrooms, two perpetually pissed off people.

"Dash!" I could hear my Mum calling me from downstairs, prompting me to turn over in my bed and pretend to sleep, hoping that she might let me mope alone for a few more minutes.

"Dash?" She shouted, clumping up the stairs. Her footsteps approached my door and it slowly creaked open.

"Daaaaaash...? Time to wake up!" She moved over to my bed and began shaking me awake. I rolled over further and groaned loudly, expressing my dislike for her disturbing my precious moping.

"First day of school, kid. Wake up. Eat your cereal or you'll never get rid of that thin frame of yours. C’mon, up and at 'em!"

"Do I really need to start today? The year’s nearly over, can't I start next year?"

"No." My Mum said matter-of-factly, opening one of my clothing drawers. Oh crap, not that one.

"Mum! What did I say about going through my stuff!"

She threw up her hands and looked mock scared.
"Oh no! What kind of horrid T shirts are you hiding in there?"

"None, mum, it's just... Uh... I just don't like people going through my stuff!"

"Look, I get it, you're a teenage boy," There it was. Boy. "but please. If you're gonna use old T shirts for shit like that, please don't make me clean it."

"Mum! Gross! I don't do that crap!"

"Sure, maybe not now, but you will. All boys do it."

There it is again.
"Just go away."

"Fine, but you still have to go to school, so start getting ready now. And please, try and meet some good friends this time around?" My mum said as she closed the door. I wasn't gonna reply to that, we'd argued enough about it.

And so began another day. Another day in my shitty life. A life I never asked for. A body I never asked for. If only my mum knew how much it killed me. I slid out of bed and looked at my face and body in the mirror. Every part of me was disgusting. I pulled my rainbow coloured hair to the side and tried to cover as much of my face as possible with it.
I stood up and moved to my tshirt drawer to make sure that my mum hadn't found anything I didn't want to be found and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that the black rolled up singlet had not been disturbed. I unrolled it and inspected the two bottles of pills in front of me. One of them was white, tasted bitter but smelt like mints, and the other was small, blue and was the answer to my problems. I popped two of the blue ones and one of the white ones out and downed them with the glass of water next to my bed.

I walked over to my cupboard and looked for something to wear today, settling with a black jumper and some jeans. The more of this body I covered up, the better. I ran downstairs to grab some breakfast and saw that my mum had already left and had written me a note on the table.

"Hey sweetie,” The note read “Have a great first day at school! Here's some lunch money, don't get it bullied out of you this time."

I took the ten dollars taped to it threw down the letter. As much as I appreciated what my mum did for me, she never did have a good way with words. I grabbed my bag and left for school. As I closed that door, I put on the mask again. I put it on every day. This horrid mask that looks like my face, but it isn't me. There was something wrong inside that I had never told anyone before. This feeling of not belonging in my own body, it filled me with sadness. Like nothing I did or cared about mattered because this body wasn’t mine. I knew that I had to hide my true self. If I was ever going to have friends again, I'd keep the mask on. No matter how much it hurt.

Canterlot High. The place I'd be spending the next 4 years of my life. What a joke. They even had a god damn statue of a horse out the front. I made my way through the dwindling morning crowd to the front doors and pushed it open only to have it suddenly slam back in my face. I looked around for a few seconds and saw that the other students were looking a little shocked too. After a few seconds, the door flung open again and a girl with huge pink curly hair flew out and grabbed me by the hand.

"Welcome to your new school, new friend! Sorry about before, my pinkie sense was a few seconds early! But I could tell, this one was a special friend!"

"Wait- what? " I was utterly dumbstruck. I was just about to ask what she was doing when she started pulling me through the corridors at breakneck speed. Who the heck was this girl?

"I'm Pinkie Pie and I'm your new best friend! Well, more like everyone's best friend, but never mind that! I can't wait to introduce you to all the other girls! They've been so excited to meet you!"

"You knew I was coming? How?"

"Pinkie sense, hard to explain, but I just knew that you were! When the other girls heard that a special new friend was coming, they couldn't wait!"

As we were running, the wind pulled down my hood and exposed my scruffy hair that I had planned on keeping hidden the whole day, as well as the rest of me. So much for flying under the radar.
"They even helped me prepare for this!" Pinkie shouted and pushed open a pair of double doors. Instantly, I was blinded with confetti and streamers.

"Surprise!" Shouted Pinkie and the three other girls in the room. I stood dumbstruck in front of these girls with these huge ridiculous grins on their faces. Pinkie pushed me in front of the first one, a bookish looking girl with purple hair and glasses.

"Welcome to our group! My name is Twilight Sparkle and I can't tell you how elated I am to meet you! I know how improbable Pinkies "sense" might be, but I couldn't help but get excited at the chance to welcome a new friend! Don't worry, soon enough you'll be one of the girls!"

One of the girls?

"But I'm not- oof!" I was interrupted as pinkie pushed me in front of the next girl. This one was the polar opposite of Twilight, rough and rugged looking, with a face covered in freckles and a tartan shirt covered in dirt, yet under all the roughness, had a strange air of trust and friendliness about her.
"Howdy! I'm Applejack and welcome to the group!"

"H-hey." I said and was pushed in front of the third girl.

"Hello! My name is Rarity! We really must do something about that hair of yours, it really is unlady-like to come to school without having thoroughly cleansed and conditioned your hair! Either way, Charmed to meet you, miss...?"

"Rainbow dash, but girls, listen for a sec, I'm not actually a g-"

"And last but not least," Pinkie interrupted "This is- Wait. Where is she?"

"Beats me. Probably outside talkin' to her critters again." Applejack replied with a grin on her face.

"Oh well! We'll introduce you to her later. Rainbow, have some cake and tell us all about yourself!"

"Look, thanks for being all welcoming and all," I replied, scanning for the looks of confusion when I told them the truth.
"But I'm not actually a..."

Wait. What was I doing? These girls had welcomed me into their group. They had treated me as one of their own, one of the girls, and I was just about to throw that away? This was my one chance. I could tell them the truth now and lose these potential friends, or just roll with it and be treated how I had always wanted.

"I'm not actually a..."

"A what, sugar cube? "

Oh god. It was now or never.

"I'm not actually allowed to have sugar right now, I'm.. on a diet! Right? That's a thing that I do!"

"A diet?" Rarity said, grabbing a hold of my forearm and inspecting it. "Rainbow, you're practically stick thin! Come now, have some cake and relax! It's your first day of a new school! You're entitled to feel a little relaxed!"

"OK then, sure." I smiled nervously and followed the others to the table covered in cakes, muffins and fruit pies.

"You really did all this for me?"

"Of course we did!" Rarity said before taking a dainty bite of cake.

Applejack took a huge bite of pie and downed it with some water before turning to me.

"Ah know that Pinkies sense always goes off when she knows a new person is coming to the school, but this one was a little different. She said she knew that this one was a special friend. And if Ah’m not mistaken, Ah got a feeling that you're a little different too."

My heart sank. Did she figure me out that fast?

"You're not like other girls. " Oh god. "Ah can tell that you'll be a good friend. A loyal friend!"

Oh god. I breathed out a sigh of relief.

"I dunno about that." I scratched the back of my head "I didn't really have a lot of friends at my last school. They all called me really bad names. Even my first girlfriend didn't want to have anything to do with me after a while."

"Oh, so they made fun of you for being gay?" Twilight asked, causing all the others to look at me.

"Gay?" Oh, right. They think I'm a girl. "Um, yeah. That was it."

"Well, darling, I know that you'll find that Canterlot is a lot more accepting than wherever you were last." Rarity said and smiled a consoling smile at me.

I heard the door behind me open and turned around only for my stomach to drop and the blood to leave my face completely.

"There she is! Meet the last friend in our group, Fluttershy! "
She stared at me and looked confused for a second.

"Rainbow dash?"

"Ooh, so you've met her before?" Pinkie jumped up and down with a smile on her face

"Um, yes, I have. Or at least, I think I have..." Fluttershy replied with a look of confusion on her face.

I had shut down. I can't believe I pretended to be a girl. I should have known this would crash and burn, not even a full hour into the day and I've lied to the first group of proper friends I might ever have.

"Fluttershy!" I panicked. I needed to get her out of the room. "Nice to see you again! Can we talk outside for a few sec's?"

"Sure, but I- Woah! " I pulled her by the hand out of the room and closed the door behind us.

"Rainbow, stop!" Fluttershy said as I pulled her further away from the room. As we got just around the corner of some lockers, I turned around with tears in my eyes.

"Please don't tell them!"

Fluttershy looked shocked and scared. "T-tell them what?"

"That I'm actually a boy! I got here and immediately that Pinkie girl started calling me "one of the girls" and introduced me to all of them in there! I can't lose this chance!"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying... that I haven't told anyone yet. I'm still... I'm still a guy. And no one knows about this. Fluttershy, I'm. .. I'm transgender."

Immediately she launched herself at me and hugged me as tight as she could.

"Oh, Rainbow! I never knew! I wish I could have helped you sooner!"

"Hey buddy, it's OK. Seriously, no more hugs, I've had enough cushy shit for today already."
Fluttershy pulled herself away from the hug but I could tell she didn't want to.

"So you haven't even told your mum?"

"No. I can't. Not yet."

"Rainbow, you can't keep this up! She'll figure it out eventually, and even if she is accepting, she'll be offended that you didn't trust her enough to tell her!"

"I know! I know... it's just... I planned on not telling anyone. Ever. I was just going to ignore it and hope it went away. But today, when they started calling me a girl, and that Rarity girl was saying things like "it's unladylike to not wash your hair!" I just... took the opportunity. I realized that if I didn't do it now, I might never do it!"

"Rainbow, you know that wouldn't have worked! Ignoring a problem doesn't solve it. Especially not this problem. Please let me help you!"

"I can't... it would kill my mum. She lost my dad, now she's gonna lose me too?"

"She's not going to lose you, Dash. You won't be a different person on the inside."

"I... I know."

"I'm going to be honest, Dash, I... I could tell how uncomfortable you were. No one can spend that long with their best friend without noticing something was off. Every time you had to be in the boys group in gym. Every time you were picked on for being more girly than the other boys. Every time I was over and your mum told me how handsome you were. "

"You.. knew?"

"I was never sure, but you always seemed more comfortable to be around me than any of your other guy friends. You always looked a little... jealous when you saw me wearing something pretty."

"Fluttershy, I'm so sorry."

"You have no reason to be. But here's what's going to happen. You are going to go back in there, and you are going to be Rainbow Dash. You are going to be honest with yourself and let this happen. And you are going to let me help you."

"Okay." I nodded and wiped the remaining tears from my eyes.

"You are Rainbow Dash." Fluttershy held me by my shoulders and looked into my eyes. "And you are a girl."

"Thanks Flutters... Gee, you really can be assertive when you want to be."

"Sorry, was that too much?"

"Nope. It was just right." I said and lead her back to the room.

As the doors opened, I saw the group all stop whatever they were talking about and welcome us back.

"You alright, sugarcube? " Applejack asked, seeing the remnants of tears in my eyes.

"Of course I'm fine. B-better than fine!"

"Well, if you're sure..." She smiled cautiously and went back to her food.

"Come darling, sit with us. We were just wondering how you two knew each other."
I took a seat and tried my hardest to smile.

"We were classmates back in middle school before I moved away again for my mums work."

"Wonderful! It's good to know that you already had a friend here even before you met us!" Rarity exclaimed and made a little clapping motion with two fingers. "So, me and Twilight were thinking about going out clothes shopping tomorrow and wondered if our new friend wanted to come with us?"

"Uh, not really, I, uh..." I stammered.

“Nonsense, darling, you will come with us and get a makeover. You definitely need one. No offense.”

Fluttershy leaned over and whispered in my ear.

“You should do it, Dash. It'll be good for you.”

“Uh, sure.” I replied and swallowed nervously. “Let's do it.”

“Excellent! How about tomorrow after school?”

“Sure.”

I walked through the door and dumped my bag on the floor next to the fridge, I opened it up and took a huge swig of milk from the bottle inside.

“Ugh, can you please not do that Dash? I have to drink from it too.”

“Hey, sorry.” I put the lid back on the bottle and placed it back in the fridge.

“So.” She said, putting her handbag on the kitchen table . “How was your first day at the new school?”
My heart raced with happiness, remembering all the things that happened that day.

“It wasn't too bad.” I said with a little grin

“What's that smile for? Don't tell me you actually had a good day at school for once?”

“You could say that.”

“Did you meet any new friends?”

“Some new, and a surprise old friend. Turns out Fluttershy goes to Canterlot”

“Oh cool, that the girl you used to play with in middle school?”

“Uhh, yeah. I might be going out shop- Uh, going out to a movie with a few of my new friends tomorrow after school.”

“That's great to hear, honey! What're their names?”

“There's Rarity, Twilight, Applejack and Pinkie Pie.”

“Ooh, all girls, eh? Who knew you were such a ladies man.”

“Mum, please stop.”

“You know I'm just kidding. Although it would be nice if you tried meeting some other boys around your age.”
I sighed. My mum was always so worried about me. I think she knows that I'm not the most manly man out there and just wants me to grow up happy and handsome. Little does she know that being handsome would make me the opposite of happy.

“I'm gonna go to bed, mum.”

“Aww, I was hoping you'd ask me about my day.”

“Fine, how was your day, mum?”

“It was good, if a little weird. You know Fancy Pants, the guy who runs the company? Well, I heard a rumour that his girlfriend used to be a man! Isn't that freaky?”

A shiver passed over my body and my heart dropped again.

“Yeah.”

“Obviously it's just hearsay, but it's a just such a weird thing. Imagine if Fancy Pants found out! He'd be mortified to find out that his girlfriend wasn't a girl at all! Are you okay, sweetie? You look like you've seen a ghost.”

I got up immediately and left the room. I ran straight upstairs and slammed my door. It felt like ice was shaking me from the inside. I felt like throwing up and I could have sworn that I almost did. That's it, I had to give up this charade. I had to tell the girls at school that I'm a boy, even if it means losing my friends. But… I can't turn back now.

“Are you OK, sweetie? I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.” I could hear my Mum talking to me from outside.

“I'm fine, Mum” I shouted back, unconvincingly. “Really. I am. I’ve just had a long first day at school and I really wanna get some sleep, ok?”

“Sure, don’t forget that I’m here if you want to talk about anything.”
I listened until I heard her footsteps trail down stairs and the door to the dining room shut, and then I let it all out. I cried for longer than I had ever cried before.

Some time during the night, I must have fallen asleep, because it was morning now and I was woken up again by my mum barging in.

“Come on, up time for school, Dash. Listen… I’m really sorry if I made you uncomfortable yesterday.”

I grumbled and rolled around in my bed to look at her.

“It's fine, mum. Just… The way you talked about that girl made me think of…” Don’t say it. Not yet. “It made me think of other people talking about me behind my back and how I wouldn’t want it to happen to me.”

“Oh, I’m sorry Dash. You’re just… so much more sensitive than your father was. Sometimes, I just get carried away.”

“It’s fine, but please. Don’t call me sensitive. It’s totally uncool”

“There’s the Dash I know. Now really, get ready for school. And here, here’s some money for the movie tonight.” She said, handing me a fifty dollar bill. I opened my mouth to reject it, but was quickly silenced. “No, Dash, you’re taking this money and you’re having a good time. It’s not everyday my introvert son meets five new friends in one day!”

“Muuuuum, what did I say about being uncool?”

“Oh shush.” My Mum said smiling and left me to get ready for school

The classes today were a little different than yesterday's, but not overly different. Standard maths, science, literature, all that brainy stuff that I’ve never been all that good at, but today, I might be able to finally shine. Today, we had gym.

“OK, kids. Welcome to gym class.” Mr Biceps, our overly enthusiastic gym teacher shouted, pacing back and forth in front of the class. “Today is the day that you either shine for me, or whither. Today is the day we figure out the FLOWERS” He paused and stared at a couple of chattering girls in the back, freezing them with an icy glare. “From the weeds” He leant down and stared directly at me.

“Who here wants to be a flower?” He said as most of the class raised their hands. “GOOOOOOD. I knew you all wouldn’t last that long anyway. Think of this. What do you think of when you think of flowers, Hmm? Pretty? Perfect? Better than the rest? Well let me tell you now, you’re WROOOOONG. Flowers might look good, but that’s about all they do. You shouldn’t be striving to be a flower, you should strive to be a weed! Weeds are strong! Weeds grow FAST! Weeds triumph over impossible odds! Now tell me again, class. Who wants to be a FLOWER.”
No one raised their hands.

“And who wants to be a WEED!” The majority of the class, besides the prissy girls who were talking before and a few others, raised their hands.

“Goooood. Now first of all, we’re gonna do a little paperwork. You’ll all receive a sheet with a list of sports on it. You’ll chose a sport and then I’ll go around and tell you what to do.”

Gym felt good. I might have a slender frame, but I was definitely not weak. Of all the sports listed there, track drew my interest the most. I breezed through the exercises that Mr Biceps set for me and easily sprinted past all of the students he had running with me. It felt good to finally be good at something. That mixed with the adrenaline from all of this exercise was truly one of the best feelings I’d ever experienced and the only bad part about it is that it had to end.
Mr Biceps blew a shrill tone on his whistle and called the class back to the centre of the gym.

“Good work, everyone. Some of you showed true potential, and some of you, not so much. But, don’t let that discourage you! The point of gym is not to just promote those who excel, but to help those who don’t so they eventually do excel. Now a few of you showed exceptional skill out there. Thunderlane, you did really well with the soccer team. Iron Bars, you showed promise with the weights. And you, miss…?” It took me a few seconds to realize that he was looking in my direction.

“Me? Uh, Dash. Rainbow Dash.”

“Rainbow Dash, you did extremely well with the track events. I gotta say though, you all did extremely well for your first day and I look forward to our next class. You’re all dismissed!” He shouted and all of the students happily trudged their way out of the gym to their next class.

It just had to be like this. My favourite class, and then right after it, my least favourite class. History. It was like the absolute peak of nerdiness. First of all, I didn't understand why it was so important that we learned about all these long dead nerds, but our teacher was so slow! She read out every single part of the textbook at about half the speed that any normal person would read and then took a few minutes after every page for others to “catch up.”. I looked over and saw Twilight with a huge smile on her face, happily jotting down notes and reading along. At least someone was enjoying themselves.

“Hey.” I whispered to her. “Hey, egghead.” I threw a small ball of paper at her desk, missing completely.

“Rainbow Dash, please see me after class.” the teacher said, hardly taking a break from reading the book and then going straight back into it when she was done. God damn it.

Class ended and I waited until the rest of the students had left before stumbling my way up to the teachers desk.

“I’m sorry, Miss. I won’t do it again…” She looked up from her book and raised an eyebrow at me.

“Look, Rainbow Dash, I’m not here to tell you how to live your life, but I am here to teach those who want to be taught. I was looking at your records from your last school and I have to say, I’m worried. Let’s see… “Vandalism”, “Outbursts directed at both students and staff”,”Frequent injuries.” and overall poor performance in academic fields. This school is a new chance for you, Rainbow. Please don’t throw that chance away.”

“I’m really sorry, miss. It really won’t happen again.”

“It’s fine Rainbow. I’ll be honest, that wasn’t the main reason I asked you to talk to me. I saw another thing on your school records. It mentioned that you are… Male.” Oh fuck.

“I assure you, you will not receive any mention of this from other teachers. I’ve let them know that you are seemingly presenting yourself as female to your friends around here and to not question it. I hope you’ll find that we pride ourselves on acceptance here at Canterlot.”

“I… I don’t know what to say. Thank you.”

“You don’t have to say anything, Miss Dash. Just don’t disrupt my class again, and you’ll do just fine. I’ll see you next lesson.”

I mouthed another thank you and left the room as fast as possible, thanful to have dodged a bullet and eager to catch up with Twilight and Rarity.

“So! Where to first?” Rarity said with her arms spread open, almost as if she was trying to breath it all in as much as possible. “This place is a new frontier, full of beautiful opportunities to look fabulous! First of all, we should start by getting our… Disheveled new friend here a makeover!”

“A what!?”

“A makeover! You clearly haven’t treated yourself in a while, Darling! Come now, I’ll pay for everything. I know the perfect place too!”

“Just roll with it, Rainbow.” Twilight whispered in my ear. “When Rarity gets like this, there's no stopping her.”

This. Place. Is. Terrible. Everywhere I looked, there were prissy looking people with their hair up in these weird plastic cylinders and their faces covered in what I could only describe as pale baby food. What made me even more worried is that I knew that would be me in a few minutes.

“Now, I've signed all of us up for the deluxe treatment! Twilight hasn't been here in in a while, and me, well… I had had a particularly bad hair day today.”

“Rarity, your hair is perfect. Seriously.” Twilight said, looking up from the book she was reading in the waiting area.

“Nonsense! I'm sure Rainbow will agree with me on this!“

“Uh, honestly I'm not too sure my opinion is worth much on stuff like this.“

“Yes, then again, I’m afraid you're right this time. Not to worry! If you're friends with me, you'll never have to worry about looking unlady-like again!”

I had to say, this was pretty relaxing. Well, as relaxing as sitting with my face covered in shit could be. Rarity and Twilight chatted away about some popular music star who was coming to town sometime soon and I just sat there and thought. I thought about how hard it was going to be to tell my mum. I thought about how I was going to pursue this. I'm no brainiac, but I know that physically, males and females were different. I had researched what hormone replacement was and had ordered a few packets of those pills a few weeks ago without my Mum knowing. But besides this hormone replacement stuff, I didn't know what to do. I wasn't comfortable with what I had downstairs as well and had no idea if it was possible to fix that at all. I wish I didn't want to be fixed. I wish I didn't hate the parts of me that were male and I wish I was comfortable with myself. Thank god I have cucumbers over my eyes right now or the others would see me tearing up.

After the “face mask” thing that I had before, Rarity took us to get our eyebrows done. I have no idea who first said it, but they were right. Beauty IS pain. I was cringing every single time an eyebrow hair was plucked and couldn’t help but utter an “ow” when it happened either.

“Oh, stop whining, Rainbow! Really, it can’t hurt that much!” I looked over to Rarity who was getting her eyebrows attacked with some weird string thing.

“Maybe not for you” I grunted between plucks “But I’ve never done this before. You’ve probably screwed all the nerves in your face from all this prodding and pulling. Ow!” I exclaimed as a particularly sore eyebrow hair was pulled.

“Maybe so, but that, my dear friend, is the price of beauty. Do you think if I would look this fabulous if I didn’t?”
I looked over to Twilight who was somehow so engrossed in her book that she hadn’t even noticed that the guy doing her eyebrows had finished.

“Next up, we need to do something about your hair. I absolutely love your natural coloration, but everyone needs to style their hair a little bit or it gets frayed and messy.” Rarity explained while directing me to a chair in the hair salon.

“Ah, hello Miss Rarity! It’s always a pleasure to see you!” A large man wearing the most outrageous clothes I’d ever seen walked in and gave Rarity a hug.

“Hello, Clips, my dear. I’m not here for me today, my good friend Rainbow has been… Neglecting her hair for a while now and needs it to be neatened up.”

Twilight could see I was distressed and came over to me.

“Don’t worry, Clean Clips is very good at what he does.”

“Just don’t do any frilly frou-frou stuff, ok? I like my hair a little… Wild. Like me.”

“No problem my dear” Clips said, gathering some tools and dumping them on the table next to me. “I only ever do what Is asked of me.”

Ten minutes later, I had to say, I looked a whole lot different. My face looked cleaner, my hair didn’t look anywhere near as matted as it was before and although it was stylistically the same, it seemed to almost frame my face. I was happy with it. Until I saw the bill.

“Forty bucks!?”

“Don’t worry, Rainbow, I said I would pay for everything!”

“But… Forty bucks? For a hair trim?”

“Again, darling, the price of beauty is always high. I got a very important order coming up soon and have a little bit of extra cash in my pocket.”

Jeez, this girl was insane.

“Rarity, you hardly know me! Why are you being this nice to me?”

“Well, this whole outing was so we could get to know you better! As for what I am doing, I would do this for anyone who needed it. And trust me, Rainbow. You needed it.” Rarity smiled and handed the money over to Clean Clips.

“Thank you very much for coming Miss Rarity! I hope to see you again soon!”

“Thank you too, Clips!” Rarity called back as we walked out of the salon and towards another store.

“Really, Rarity?”

“Come now, I won't take any photos.”

“No, you just want to laugh at my discomfort.”

“Stop being so silly.” Twilight called from outside the dressing room. “I'm sure it looks fine.”

I actually really liked what I looked like in this skirt thing, but I was still nervous, as anyone dressing up for the first time as another sex would know. I took a deep breath and calmed myself before stepping out.

“Oh my… Rainbow!”

“It looks terrible doesn't it?” I said, squinting my eyes as if to somehow prevent them from looking at me.

“No, Rainbow ! Quite the contrary! You look ravishing!“

“You really do, Rainbow!” Twilight said encouragingly.

“For real?” I said, looking at myself it the mirror again.

“I don't know what to say, girls… Thank you.” I began to tear up.

“Oh, Rainbow, it was our pleasure. I saw what you were wearing the first time we met and thought “If I can't save this fashion disaster, no one can!" And look at you now!”

“I have to agree with Rarity, you really do look a lot better. Happier too!”

“I… I am happier. Thank you both.”

“The pleasure is all ours.” Rarity smiled and put her hands together. “Now! What say we go see movie! The cinema is close by and they have that new Hasslehoof movie coming out soon. Oh and Rainbow, you can leave that skirt on. It's far more appropriate than what you were wearing before.”

“That sounds great Rarity. ” I smiled properly for the first time in my life. “It really does."

After the movie had finished, I said goodbye to Rarity and Twilight then went to get changed. I finished up and hailed a cab to take me back home, using the remaining money my Mum had given me. I got home and dumped my bag on the floor again and went straight for the fridge. It took me until I was opening the fridge to notice my Mum sitting silently at the living room table.

“Uh, hey Mum.” I said apprehensively before turning back to the fridge.

“Dash, can you come talk to me for a minute?”

“Sure… What's this about?” I walked over and sat next to her.

“I saw you today, Dash.”
I froze.

“At the mall.” This wasn't happening.

“And you were… In a skirt.”

“Mum, I can explain.”

“You don't need to, Dash.” I saw tears begin to roll down her cheeks.

“I know what you are, Dash. I'd thought that it might be possible for a while now, I was just… Hoping I was mistaken. But when I saw you today… you looked… happy. I've never seen you look like that before. Not around me, not at school, not when you were with your friends.”

I stood up and ran. Just like that. I sprinted through the house and out the door, all the while, my Mum was calling out for me as I ran. I felt like I was running for hours, my mind was blind with fear of rejection. Fear of people trying to “cure” me, but most of all, fear of facing my Mum again. Eventually, I stopped. I don't know why, but I just didn't feel like running anymore. I sat down under the tree and cried. After a few minutes I could hear my mum calling out for me in the distance.

“Dash? Dash, please!”
I didn't care. I was so scared of the possibilities that I didn't dare answer. I tried to think back and remember what my Mum said. “I know what you are…” I knew what she meant, but… There was a sadness in her voice that said “Why did this have to happen to me.”

Have I done something wrong? I didn't ask to be like this. I never wanted to be uncomfortable with my body, with my life. I thought that me being happy would make her happy. Why did my happiness do this to her? Suddenly I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out, expecting it to be my mum calling me but saw a message message from Fluttershy pop up instead.

“Hello rainbow. I hope today went well :) Twilight said u looked really happy. Can't wait to see u tomorrow!”

Tears dripped onto my phone and I sobbed while trying to clean it up with my hoodie’s sleeve, which did not do much more but smear them across the screen. I managed to gather the strength to text her back after a few minutes.

“mum found out. I'm not ok and I ran off. I'm lost and I don't know where I am. I think I'm near some park”

A few seconds later, I got a message back from Fluttershy.

“do you see any street signs? There's a park near my house, what street is closest?”

I took a look at the nearest street name and then texted her back.

“Crossland Way. I'm sorry.”

“Good, that's near my street. I'll be over in a few minutes.”

I let my head fall back and I slumped against the tree, letting it bounce heavily against the soft bark. Despite the slightly cushioned landing, I felt my head begin to throb with a coming headache. I felt a few drops hit my face and thought it might have been more tears until I realized that it fell on me. The drops sped up until I could feel it on my feet as well. Rain. My favourite weather. Feeling the icy drops slowly hit my skin filled me with some sort of muffled bliss. It felt freeing and cleansing, like for a few minutes, I was free of all worries and strifes. I heard a voice calling my name and kept my face pointing up at the sky.

“Rainbow? Where are you Rainbow?” I tried to ignore it.

“Rainbow?!”

Louder this time. But now I could tell something was different. This shout meant she had found me.
I flopped my head down and saw a pink haired girl running towards me.

“Fluttershy? Is that you?”

“Oh my goodness, Rainbow, you're soaked!” Fluttershy leant down to help me up and covered me with an umbrella.

“My house isn't that far, I'll get you a hot shower and some soup.”

“She hates me.” I muttered under my breath as Fluttershy helped me walk.

“She doesn't hate you! Just… maybe she said something she regretted. I'm sure she doesn't hate you though, you're her daughter.”

“But to her I'm still a son.”

“Maybe now, but I'm sure that in the future, she'll see that there's nothing wrong with you.”

“How can you know that, though? It’s not certain to happen, how can you be so sure.”

“I just am, OK? I met your mum before and she did not seem like one to abandon her child as soon as something trying comes up. She loves you.”

I sighed and smiled up at Fluttershy.

“Thanks Flutters.”

We eventually arrived back at Fluttershy’s house and she immediately brought me some towels and a hot cup of coffee before starting up a hot bath for me. After finishing my drink, I went to the bathroom and began to get ready for the bath. As I was getting changed, I looked over at myself in the bathroom mirror. That was a mistake. A flood of negative emotions began to rush over me, filling my head with all of these horrid thoughts. I tried my hardest to push the thoughts out of my head and let myself relax for half a second, but it did nothing to help. I began to sob and whimper, falling to my knees and crying on the cold tile floor. Fluttershy must have heard me, because she ran in, not stopping when she saw I was undressed, and began helping me back to my feet.

“Th-Thanks Flutters. I’m really sorry.”

Fluttershy covered me with a blanket and we sat down on the edge of the bath.

“It’s not a problem, Rainbow. You’re my friend.”

“No, not just for this now, but… For everything.”

Fluttershy raised an eyebrow and looked at me questioningly. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” I breathed out. “I mean that I’m sorry for how jealous of you I was. There, I said it, OK?” Fluttershy blushed but didn’t lose her apprehensive look.

“Dash, you really don’t have to be sorry for all that...”

“But I do. It was… It was the reason I didn’t keep in contact with you after middle school.” Immediately, her face switched to an expression of surprise.

“I used to always look at you and think… Maybe, just maybe, I could be like that.” I explained carefully. “I would see your toys, see your room, see the way that your Mum treated you and wished that I was in your place. I thought that I might have… A crush on you, but I realized that the feelings I had weren’t attraction, but jealousy. Towards the end of school, I started to push you away. I thought “Maybe if I got some manly friends, It’d stop me from having all these jealous thoughts.” I’m sorry, Flutters.”

Fluttershy hugged me tightly and nodded at me to continue.

“I thought that I had figured myself out. Instead, it filled me with disgust. I looked at the person I was pretending to be and felt sick. I just didn’t realise I was doing it all wrong until last year.”

“What happened last year?”

“I found an article in a magazine about this… Transgender person. He was saying all these things like “I wasn’t comfortable in my female body.” And “I didn’t like looking at my genitals.”. I started to realize that the things this person was saying were… Exactly the same as what I was feeling.”

“Oh Dash.” Fluttershy said and hugged me tighter.

“So I looked it up and ordered some medication over the internet. I know it’s bad, but I knew my mum would react like this, so I never told her.”

“What were you gonna do?”

“About what?”

“About when you start to grow… B-boobs.”

“What!?” I jumped up. “I’m gonna grow boobs!?”

“Of course you are! That’s what the female hormones in your medication will do! Didn’t you know that?”

“I knew a bit about it, but I thought that I would have to get implants! This is amazing!”

I jumped up and down in joy and Fluttershy stood up to join me.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my goooosh!” I shouted and danced around, finally feeling some sought of happiness after feeling like shit for so long. I looked over at Fluttershy and saw that she was equally as happy. I eventually sat down and giggled uncontrollably as Fluttershy did the same.

“Oh Dash, you really are a silly girl.”

“Hey, it's not my fault that all of these websites are all science and stuff. I'm not a brain, you know. Big words are not my strong suit, and those Web pages had nothin’ but ‘em.”

Fluttershy giggled again and smiled at me.

“Well, I think it's about time I had this bath. Thank you Fluttershy. For everything. “

“Oh, it's nothing, Rainbow. You're a good friend, and I would never abandon you.”

I felt my eyes welling up and covered my face with my hands. I had already made myself look lame enough in front of Fluttershy. I wiped my eyes before looking back up at her.

Suddenly, I heard my phone, which Fluttershy had placed on the bathroom counter, begin to ring.

“Oh no…” Fluttershy muttered and stared nervously at my phone. She held onto my arm to try and stop me from answering, but I shrugged her off.

“No. I have a few choice words to say to my mum.”

I stepped forwards and picked up my phone, staring at the familiar face that I set as her contact photo. I breathed in and then breathed out, preparing myself for the worst. I raised the phone to my ear and prepared to unload my anger on my mum.

“H-hello?” I squeaked out. Great. Just what I intended.

“Dash? Oh thank god, it’s you! I’m so worried about you! Why did you run off like that?”

“You said… All these things, and I thought you... I thought you were… Going to kick me out. I was r-really scared, Mum.” A few seconds of silence and then my mum spoke.

“Why? Why would you think that?” My mum said softly. “I’m your mother! I’ll never abandon you! And while I did see you cross-dressing, I know it’s just for fun and stuff. I just would prefer if you don’t… Do it outside. I don’t think you’re gay or anything, and I wouldn’t care even if you were!” My mum said, her voice trying to be caring and kind. “You’re my son. A fetish isn’t going to make me kick you out.”

“A fetish.” I said bluntly. “A FETISH!?” I was screaming now. “You think this is a FETISH? Ever since Dad died, you’ve been ignoring me and pretending that my problems don’t exist! I hate myself, Mum! I hate my body! I want to die! I don’t do this to get off, I do it because I want to be a girl! I’ve always wanted to be a girl!”

I panted, my short outburst over. My mind swam with all of these thoughts of my Mum rejecting me and kicking me out. She didn’t reply, and I could hear nothing but static on her end. The silence was killing me, and I had to end it.

“Well? Mum?”

“Just give me a second, Dash.”

“I’ve given you a second, Mum. Talk.”

She paused her breathing and prepared to speak.

“I… I just… I never thought this would happen. I’m so sorry, Dash.”

“You’re… Sorry?” I said, a glimmer of hope appearing in my mind.

“Yes, of course! What I said before still stands. I will always love you, and I’m so sorry I didn’t pay enough attention to you before.”

“So… You don’t want me to leave?”

“I never said that I did want you to leave, Dash. You did.” My Mum said and sniffed her nose. “I’ve heard about people like this before, I just… I thought it was so rare. The chances of my child being like this were… So slim. So slim that I never even thought it might happen.”

“I’m not sick, Mum.”

“I know, I know. My mind just… Didn’t even think of it when I saw you. But I do accept it. If you want me to start calling you my daughter and everything, I will. I already lost one part of my life when your Dad died, I’m not risking that again.”

I hadn’t even noticed it until now, but I was bawling. The whole time my mum had been talking, tears were streaming down my face. This time, those tears weren’t of sadness, but happiness.

“T-Thank you, Mum.”

“I love you, Dash. More than any mother could love their child.”

“I love you too, Mum.”

There was silence and then a short sigh on her end.

“Good. Now, where are you?”

“Mum, I’m… I’m not coming home tonight. I know you’re accepting of me and all that, but for tonight, I just… I want to relax and sleep well.”

“OK then. I’m sorry, Dash, for anything I’ve done to offend y- Oh god.”

“What? What is it?”

“I just remembered what I said about Fancy Pants’s girlfriend the other day. Oh gosh, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s OK, Mum, really. It just… Threw me a bit. I’m gonna go have a bath now, the water's getting cold. Again… Thanks for being so accepting.”

We said our goodbye’s and I hung up, turning to see Fluttershy with tears in her eyes and a huge smile on her face. She immediately threw herself forward into a hug and began sobbing into my shoulder.

“Whoah, hey buddy, calm down.”

“Dash- I’m- So- Happy for you!” She cried, sobbing between words.

“Jeez, Shy, enough!” I giggled and shoved her playfully. “But I did mean what I said before.”

“Wh-what?” She said looking up at me.

“I really, Really want that bath right now.”

Author's Notes:

Hey everyone, thanks for reading this story! I'm working on the second chapter and can't wait to hear about what you think of my first non - clop.