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The Person Inside

by IcarusFics

First published

Every day was a new lie for Rainbow Dash. Each day he pretended to be something he wasn't. He pretended to be a boy.

Every day is a new lie for Rainbow Dash. Every morning meant a new mask to put on. He knew he shouldn't deny the nagging at the back of his head, but fear kept him silent. On his first day of school at Canterlot High, an opportunity presents itself that he couldn't miss. His one chance to be who he wants to be.

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This story is set in a sort of alternate universe of eqg. Not really a prequel, but a sought of re - imagining of the setting. All of the main 6 are just starting high school. Rated teen for naughty words.

Chapter 1

As anyone who has moved to a drastically different location before will know, the whole experience sucks. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy to be out of that shithole town that I was in less than a week ago, but having to say goodbye to friends you've known for years, hangout spots that you have fond memories at, even saying goodbye to that crappy school where everyone hates you is hard. And trying to get used to such a similar yet vastly different place was even harder. This town was just as average as the last. It had the same looking streets, the same shops, and I fucking knew that the school would be the same too. Canterlot High, it was called. What a shitty parody. I knew this town was pretty big on horses, but God damn.

Not to mention that this house was almost the same as well. Two stories, two bedrooms, two perpetually pissed off people.

"Dash!" I could hear my Mum calling me from downstairs, prompting me to turn over in my bed and pretend to sleep, hoping that she might let me mope alone for a few more minutes.

"Dash?" She shouted, clumping up the stairs. Her footsteps approached my door and it slowly creaked open.

"Daaaaaash...? Time to wake up!" She moved over to my bed and began shaking me awake. I rolled over further and groaned loudly, expressing my dislike for her disturbing my precious moping.

"First day of school, kid. Wake up. Eat your cereal or you'll never get rid of that thin frame of yours. C’mon, up and at 'em!"

"Do I really need to start today? The year’s nearly over, can't I start next year?"

"No." My Mum said matter-of-factly, opening one of my clothing drawers. Oh crap, not that one.

"Mum! What did I say about going through my stuff!"

She threw up her hands and looked mock scared.
"Oh no! What kind of horrid T shirts are you hiding in there?"

"None, mum, it's just... Uh... I just don't like people going through my stuff!"

"Look, I get it, you're a teenage boy," There it was. Boy. "but please. If you're gonna use old T shirts for shit like that, please don't make me clean it."

"Mum! Gross! I don't do that crap!"

"Sure, maybe not now, but you will. All boys do it."

There it is again.
"Just go away."

"Fine, but you still have to go to school, so start getting ready now. And please, try and meet some good friends this time around?" My mum said as she closed the door. I wasn't gonna reply to that, we'd argued enough about it.

And so began another day. Another day in my shitty life. A life I never asked for. A body I never asked for. If only my mum knew how much it killed me. I slid out of bed and looked at my face and body in the mirror. Every part of me was disgusting. I pulled my rainbow coloured hair to the side and tried to cover as much of my face as possible with it.
I stood up and moved to my tshirt drawer to make sure that my mum hadn't found anything I didn't want to be found and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that the black rolled up singlet had not been disturbed. I unrolled it and inspected the two bottles of pills in front of me. One of them was white, tasted bitter but smelt like mints, and the other was small, blue and was the answer to my problems. I popped two of the blue ones and one of the white ones out and downed them with the glass of water next to my bed.

I walked over to my cupboard and looked for something to wear today, settling with a black jumper and some jeans. The more of this body I covered up, the better. I ran downstairs to grab some breakfast and saw that my mum had already left and had written me a note on the table.

"Hey sweetie,” The note read “Have a great first day at school! Here's some lunch money, don't get it bullied out of you this time."

I took the ten dollars taped to it threw down the letter. As much as I appreciated what my mum did for me, she never did have a good way with words. I grabbed my bag and left for school. As I closed that door, I put on the mask again. I put it on every day. This horrid mask that looks like my face, but it isn't me. There was something wrong inside that I had never told anyone before. This feeling of not belonging in my own body, it filled me with sadness. Like nothing I did or cared about mattered because this body wasn’t mine. I knew that I had to hide my true self. If I was ever going to have friends again, I'd keep the mask on. No matter how much it hurt.

Canterlot High. The place I'd be spending the next 4 years of my life. What a joke. They even had a god damn statue of a horse out the front. I made my way through the dwindling morning crowd to the front doors and pushed it open only to have it suddenly slam back in my face. I looked around for a few seconds and saw that the other students were looking a little shocked too. After a few seconds, the door flung open again and a girl with huge pink curly hair flew out and grabbed me by the hand.

"Welcome to your new school, new friend! Sorry about before, my pinkie sense was a few seconds early! But I could tell, this one was a special friend!"

"Wait- what? " I was utterly dumbstruck. I was just about to ask what she was doing when she started pulling me through the corridors at breakneck speed. Who the heck was this girl?

"I'm Pinkie Pie and I'm your new best friend! Well, more like everyone's best friend, but never mind that! I can't wait to introduce you to all the other girls! They've been so excited to meet you!"

"You knew I was coming? How?"

"Pinkie sense, hard to explain, but I just knew that you were! When the other girls heard that a special new friend was coming, they couldn't wait!"

As we were running, the wind pulled down my hood and exposed my scruffy hair that I had planned on keeping hidden the whole day, as well as the rest of me. So much for flying under the radar.
"They even helped me prepare for this!" Pinkie shouted and pushed open a pair of double doors. Instantly, I was blinded with confetti and streamers.

"Surprise!" Shouted Pinkie and the three other girls in the room. I stood dumbstruck in front of these girls with these huge ridiculous grins on their faces. Pinkie pushed me in front of the first one, a bookish looking girl with purple hair and glasses.

"Welcome to our group! My name is Twilight Sparkle and I can't tell you how elated I am to meet you! I know how improbable Pinkies "sense" might be, but I couldn't help but get excited at the chance to welcome a new friend! Don't worry, soon enough you'll be one of the girls!"

One of the girls?

"But I'm not- oof!" I was interrupted as pinkie pushed me in front of the next girl. This one was the polar opposite of Twilight, rough and rugged looking, with a face covered in freckles and a tartan shirt covered in dirt, yet under all the roughness, had a strange air of trust and friendliness about her.
"Howdy! I'm Applejack and welcome to the group!"

"H-hey." I said and was pushed in front of the third girl.

"Hello! My name is Rarity! We really must do something about that hair of yours, it really is unlady-like to come to school without having thoroughly cleansed and conditioned your hair! Either way, Charmed to meet you, miss...?"

"Rainbow dash, but girls, listen for a sec, I'm not actually a g-"

"And last but not least," Pinkie interrupted "This is- Wait. Where is she?"

"Beats me. Probably outside talkin' to her critters again." Applejack replied with a grin on her face.

"Oh well! We'll introduce you to her later. Rainbow, have some cake and tell us all about yourself!"

"Look, thanks for being all welcoming and all," I replied, scanning for the looks of confusion when I told them the truth.
"But I'm not actually a..."

Wait. What was I doing? These girls had welcomed me into their group. They had treated me as one of their own, one of the girls, and I was just about to throw that away? This was my one chance. I could tell them the truth now and lose these potential friends, or just roll with it and be treated how I had always wanted.

"I'm not actually a..."

"A what, sugar cube? "

Oh god. It was now or never.

"I'm not actually allowed to have sugar right now, I'm.. on a diet! Right? That's a thing that I do!"

"A diet?" Rarity said, grabbing a hold of my forearm and inspecting it. "Rainbow, you're practically stick thin! Come now, have some cake and relax! It's your first day of a new school! You're entitled to feel a little relaxed!"

"OK then, sure." I smiled nervously and followed the others to the table covered in cakes, muffins and fruit pies.

"You really did all this for me?"

"Of course we did!" Rarity said before taking a dainty bite of cake.

Applejack took a huge bite of pie and downed it with some water before turning to me.

"Ah know that Pinkies sense always goes off when she knows a new person is coming to the school, but this one was a little different. She said she knew that this one was a special friend. And if Ah’m not mistaken, Ah got a feeling that you're a little different too."

My heart sank. Did she figure me out that fast?

"You're not like other girls. " Oh god. "Ah can tell that you'll be a good friend. A loyal friend!"

Oh god. I breathed out a sigh of relief.

"I dunno about that." I scratched the back of my head "I didn't really have a lot of friends at my last school. They all called me really bad names. Even my first girlfriend didn't want to have anything to do with me after a while."

"Oh, so they made fun of you for being gay?" Twilight asked, causing all the others to look at me.

"Gay?" Oh, right. They think I'm a girl. "Um, yeah. That was it."

"Well, darling, I know that you'll find that Canterlot is a lot more accepting than wherever you were last." Rarity said and smiled a consoling smile at me.

I heard the door behind me open and turned around only for my stomach to drop and the blood to leave my face completely.

"There she is! Meet the last friend in our group, Fluttershy! "
She stared at me and looked confused for a second.

"Rainbow dash?"

"Ooh, so you've met her before?" Pinkie jumped up and down with a smile on her face

"Um, yes, I have. Or at least, I think I have..." Fluttershy replied with a look of confusion on her face.

I had shut down. I can't believe I pretended to be a girl. I should have known this would crash and burn, not even a full hour into the day and I've lied to the first group of proper friends I might ever have.

"Fluttershy!" I panicked. I needed to get her out of the room. "Nice to see you again! Can we talk outside for a few sec's?"

"Sure, but I- Woah! " I pulled her by the hand out of the room and closed the door behind us.

"Rainbow, stop!" Fluttershy said as I pulled her further away from the room. As we got just around the corner of some lockers, I turned around with tears in my eyes.

"Please don't tell them!"

Fluttershy looked shocked and scared. "T-tell them what?"

"That I'm actually a boy! I got here and immediately that Pinkie girl started calling me "one of the girls" and introduced me to all of them in there! I can't lose this chance!"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying... that I haven't told anyone yet. I'm still... I'm still a guy. And no one knows about this. Fluttershy, I'm. .. I'm transgender."

Immediately she launched herself at me and hugged me as tight as she could.

"Oh, Rainbow! I never knew! I wish I could have helped you sooner!"

"Hey buddy, it's OK. Seriously, no more hugs, I've had enough cushy shit for today already."
Fluttershy pulled herself away from the hug but I could tell she didn't want to.

"So you haven't even told your mum?"

"No. I can't. Not yet."

"Rainbow, you can't keep this up! She'll figure it out eventually, and even if she is accepting, she'll be offended that you didn't trust her enough to tell her!"

"I know! I know... it's just... I planned on not telling anyone. Ever. I was just going to ignore it and hope it went away. But today, when they started calling me a girl, and that Rarity girl was saying things like "it's unladylike to not wash your hair!" I just... took the opportunity. I realized that if I didn't do it now, I might never do it!"

"Rainbow, you know that wouldn't have worked! Ignoring a problem doesn't solve it. Especially not this problem. Please let me help you!"

"I can't... it would kill my mum. She lost my dad, now she's gonna lose me too?"

"She's not going to lose you, Dash. You won't be a different person on the inside."

"I... I know."

"I'm going to be honest, Dash, I... I could tell how uncomfortable you were. No one can spend that long with their best friend without noticing something was off. Every time you had to be in the boys group in gym. Every time you were picked on for being more girly than the other boys. Every time I was over and your mum told me how handsome you were. "

"You.. knew?"

"I was never sure, but you always seemed more comfortable to be around me than any of your other guy friends. You always looked a little... jealous when you saw me wearing something pretty."

"Fluttershy, I'm so sorry."

"You have no reason to be. But here's what's going to happen. You are going to go back in there, and you are going to be Rainbow Dash. You are going to be honest with yourself and let this happen. And you are going to let me help you."

"Okay." I nodded and wiped the remaining tears from my eyes.

"You are Rainbow Dash." Fluttershy held me by my shoulders and looked into my eyes. "And you are a girl."

"Thanks Flutters... Gee, you really can be assertive when you want to be."

"Sorry, was that too much?"

"Nope. It was just right." I said and lead her back to the room.


As the doors opened, I saw the group all stop whatever they were talking about and welcome us back.

"You alright, sugarcube? " Applejack asked, seeing the remnants of tears in my eyes.

"Of course I'm fine. B-better than fine!"

"Well, if you're sure..." She smiled cautiously and went back to her food.

"Come darling, sit with us. We were just wondering how you two knew each other."
I took a seat and tried my hardest to smile.

"We were classmates back in middle school before I moved away again for my mums work."

"Wonderful! It's good to know that you already had a friend here even before you met us!" Rarity exclaimed and made a little clapping motion with two fingers. "So, me and Twilight were thinking about going out clothes shopping tomorrow and wondered if our new friend wanted to come with us?"

"Uh, not really, I, uh..." I stammered.

“Nonsense, darling, you will come with us and get a makeover. You definitely need one. No offense.”

Fluttershy leaned over and whispered in my ear.

“You should do it, Dash. It'll be good for you.”

“Uh, sure.” I replied and swallowed nervously. “Let's do it.”

“Excellent! How about tomorrow after school?”

“Sure.”

I walked through the door and dumped my bag on the floor next to the fridge, I opened it up and took a huge swig of milk from the bottle inside.

“Ugh, can you please not do that Dash? I have to drink from it too.”

“Hey, sorry.” I put the lid back on the bottle and placed it back in the fridge.

“So.” She said, putting her handbag on the kitchen table . “How was your first day at the new school?”
My heart raced with happiness, remembering all the things that happened that day.

“It wasn't too bad.” I said with a little grin

“What's that smile for? Don't tell me you actually had a good day at school for once?”

“You could say that.”

“Did you meet any new friends?”

“Some new, and a surprise old friend. Turns out Fluttershy goes to Canterlot”

“Oh cool, that the girl you used to play with in middle school?”

“Uhh, yeah. I might be going out shop- Uh, going out to a movie with a few of my new friends tomorrow after school.”

“That's great to hear, honey! What're their names?”

“There's Rarity, Twilight, Applejack and Pinkie Pie.”

“Ooh, all girls, eh? Who knew you were such a ladies man.”

“Mum, please stop.”

“You know I'm just kidding. Although it would be nice if you tried meeting some other boys around your age.”
I sighed. My mum was always so worried about me. I think she knows that I'm not the most manly man out there and just wants me to grow up happy and handsome. Little does she know that being handsome would make me the opposite of happy.

“I'm gonna go to bed, mum.”

“Aww, I was hoping you'd ask me about my day.”

“Fine, how was your day, mum?”

“It was good, if a little weird. You know Fancy Pants, the guy who runs the company? Well, I heard a rumour that his girlfriend used to be a man! Isn't that freaky?”

A shiver passed over my body and my heart dropped again.

“Yeah.”

“Obviously it's just hearsay, but it's a just such a weird thing. Imagine if Fancy Pants found out! He'd be mortified to find out that his girlfriend wasn't a girl at all! Are you okay, sweetie? You look like you've seen a ghost.”

I got up immediately and left the room. I ran straight upstairs and slammed my door. It felt like ice was shaking me from the inside. I felt like throwing up and I could have sworn that I almost did. That's it, I had to give up this charade. I had to tell the girls at school that I'm a boy, even if it means losing my friends. But… I can't turn back now.

“Are you OK, sweetie? I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.” I could hear my Mum talking to me from outside.

“I'm fine, Mum” I shouted back, unconvincingly. “Really. I am. I’ve just had a long first day at school and I really wanna get some sleep, ok?”

“Sure, don’t forget that I’m here if you want to talk about anything.”
I listened until I heard her footsteps trail down stairs and the door to the dining room shut, and then I let it all out. I cried for longer than I had ever cried before.

Some time during the night, I must have fallen asleep, because it was morning now and I was woken up again by my mum barging in.

“Come on, up time for school, Dash. Listen… I’m really sorry if I made you uncomfortable yesterday.”

I grumbled and rolled around in my bed to look at her.

“It's fine, mum. Just… The way you talked about that girl made me think of…” Don’t say it. Not yet. “It made me think of other people talking about me behind my back and how I wouldn’t want it to happen to me.”

“Oh, I’m sorry Dash. You’re just… so much more sensitive than your father was. Sometimes, I just get carried away.”

“It’s fine, but please. Don’t call me sensitive. It’s totally uncool”

“There’s the Dash I know. Now really, get ready for school. And here, here’s some money for the movie tonight.” She said, handing me a fifty dollar bill. I opened my mouth to reject it, but was quickly silenced. “No, Dash, you’re taking this money and you’re having a good time. It’s not everyday my introvert son meets five new friends in one day!”

“Muuuuum, what did I say about being uncool?”

“Oh shush.” My Mum said smiling and left me to get ready for school


The classes today were a little different than yesterday's, but not overly different. Standard maths, science, literature, all that brainy stuff that I’ve never been all that good at, but today, I might be able to finally shine. Today, we had gym.

“OK, kids. Welcome to gym class.” Mr Biceps, our overly enthusiastic gym teacher shouted, pacing back and forth in front of the class. “Today is the day that you either shine for me, or whither. Today is the day we figure out the FLOWERS” He paused and stared at a couple of chattering girls in the back, freezing them with an icy glare. “From the weeds” He leant down and stared directly at me.

“Who here wants to be a flower?” He said as most of the class raised their hands. “GOOOOOOD. I knew you all wouldn’t last that long anyway. Think of this. What do you think of when you think of flowers, Hmm? Pretty? Perfect? Better than the rest? Well let me tell you now, you’re WROOOOONG. Flowers might look good, but that’s about all they do. You shouldn’t be striving to be a flower, you should strive to be a weed! Weeds are strong! Weeds grow FAST! Weeds triumph over impossible odds! Now tell me again, class. Who wants to be a FLOWER.”
No one raised their hands.

“And who wants to be a WEED!” The majority of the class, besides the prissy girls who were talking before and a few others, raised their hands.

“Goooood. Now first of all, we’re gonna do a little paperwork. You’ll all receive a sheet with a list of sports on it. You’ll chose a sport and then I’ll go around and tell you what to do.”

Gym felt good. I might have a slender frame, but I was definitely not weak. Of all the sports listed there, track drew my interest the most. I breezed through the exercises that Mr Biceps set for me and easily sprinted past all of the students he had running with me. It felt good to finally be good at something. That mixed with the adrenaline from all of this exercise was truly one of the best feelings I’d ever experienced and the only bad part about it is that it had to end.
Mr Biceps blew a shrill tone on his whistle and called the class back to the centre of the gym.

“Good work, everyone. Some of you showed true potential, and some of you, not so much. But, don’t let that discourage you! The point of gym is not to just promote those who excel, but to help those who don’t so they eventually do excel. Now a few of you showed exceptional skill out there. Thunderlane, you did really well with the soccer team. Iron Bars, you showed promise with the weights. And you, miss…?” It took me a few seconds to realize that he was looking in my direction.

“Me? Uh, Dash. Rainbow Dash.”

“Rainbow Dash, you did extremely well with the track events. I gotta say though, you all did extremely well for your first day and I look forward to our next class. You’re all dismissed!” He shouted and all of the students happily trudged their way out of the gym to their next class.

It just had to be like this. My favourite class, and then right after it, my least favourite class. History. It was like the absolute peak of nerdiness. First of all, I didn't understand why it was so important that we learned about all these long dead nerds, but our teacher was so slow! She read out every single part of the textbook at about half the speed that any normal person would read and then took a few minutes after every page for others to “catch up.”. I looked over and saw Twilight with a huge smile on her face, happily jotting down notes and reading along. At least someone was enjoying themselves.

“Hey.” I whispered to her. “Hey, egghead.” I threw a small ball of paper at her desk, missing completely.

“Rainbow Dash, please see me after class.” the teacher said, hardly taking a break from reading the book and then going straight back into it when she was done. God damn it.

Class ended and I waited until the rest of the students had left before stumbling my way up to the teachers desk.

“I’m sorry, Miss. I won’t do it again…” She looked up from her book and raised an eyebrow at me.

“Look, Rainbow Dash, I’m not here to tell you how to live your life, but I am here to teach those who want to be taught. I was looking at your records from your last school and I have to say, I’m worried. Let’s see… “Vandalism”, “Outbursts directed at both students and staff”,”Frequent injuries.” and overall poor performance in academic fields. This school is a new chance for you, Rainbow. Please don’t throw that chance away.”

“I’m really sorry, miss. It really won’t happen again.”

“It’s fine Rainbow. I’ll be honest, that wasn’t the main reason I asked you to talk to me. I saw another thing on your school records. It mentioned that you are… Male.” Oh fuck.

“I assure you, you will not receive any mention of this from other teachers. I’ve let them know that you are seemingly presenting yourself as female to your friends around here and to not question it. I hope you’ll find that we pride ourselves on acceptance here at Canterlot.”

“I… I don’t know what to say. Thank you.”

“You don’t have to say anything, Miss Dash. Just don’t disrupt my class again, and you’ll do just fine. I’ll see you next lesson.”

I mouthed another thank you and left the room as fast as possible, thanful to have dodged a bullet and eager to catch up with Twilight and Rarity.

“So! Where to first?” Rarity said with her arms spread open, almost as if she was trying to breath it all in as much as possible. “This place is a new frontier, full of beautiful opportunities to look fabulous! First of all, we should start by getting our… Disheveled new friend here a makeover!”

“A what!?”

“A makeover! You clearly haven’t treated yourself in a while, Darling! Come now, I’ll pay for everything. I know the perfect place too!”

“Just roll with it, Rainbow.” Twilight whispered in my ear. “When Rarity gets like this, there's no stopping her.”


This. Place. Is. Terrible. Everywhere I looked, there were prissy looking people with their hair up in these weird plastic cylinders and their faces covered in what I could only describe as pale baby food. What made me even more worried is that I knew that would be me in a few minutes.

“Now, I've signed all of us up for the deluxe treatment! Twilight hasn't been here in in a while, and me, well… I had had a particularly bad hair day today.”

“Rarity, your hair is perfect. Seriously.” Twilight said, looking up from the book she was reading in the waiting area.

“Nonsense! I'm sure Rainbow will agree with me on this!“

“Uh, honestly I'm not too sure my opinion is worth much on stuff like this.“

“Yes, then again, I’m afraid you're right this time. Not to worry! If you're friends with me, you'll never have to worry about looking unlady-like again!”


I had to say, this was pretty relaxing. Well, as relaxing as sitting with my face covered in shit could be. Rarity and Twilight chatted away about some popular music star who was coming to town sometime soon and I just sat there and thought. I thought about how hard it was going to be to tell my mum. I thought about how I was going to pursue this. I'm no brainiac, but I know that physically, males and females were different. I had researched what hormone replacement was and had ordered a few packets of those pills a few weeks ago without my Mum knowing. But besides this hormone replacement stuff, I didn't know what to do. I wasn't comfortable with what I had downstairs as well and had no idea if it was possible to fix that at all. I wish I didn't want to be fixed. I wish I didn't hate the parts of me that were male and I wish I was comfortable with myself. Thank god I have cucumbers over my eyes right now or the others would see me tearing up.

After the “face mask” thing that I had before, Rarity took us to get our eyebrows done. I have no idea who first said it, but they were right. Beauty IS pain. I was cringing every single time an eyebrow hair was plucked and couldn’t help but utter an “ow” when it happened either.

“Oh, stop whining, Rainbow! Really, it can’t hurt that much!” I looked over to Rarity who was getting her eyebrows attacked with some weird string thing.

“Maybe not for you” I grunted between plucks “But I’ve never done this before. You’ve probably screwed all the nerves in your face from all this prodding and pulling. Ow!” I exclaimed as a particularly sore eyebrow hair was pulled.

“Maybe so, but that, my dear friend, is the price of beauty. Do you think if I would look this fabulous if I didn’t?”
I looked over to Twilight who was somehow so engrossed in her book that she hadn’t even noticed that the guy doing her eyebrows had finished.

“Next up, we need to do something about your hair. I absolutely love your natural coloration, but everyone needs to style their hair a little bit or it gets frayed and messy.” Rarity explained while directing me to a chair in the hair salon.

“Ah, hello Miss Rarity! It’s always a pleasure to see you!” A large man wearing the most outrageous clothes I’d ever seen walked in and gave Rarity a hug.

“Hello, Clips, my dear. I’m not here for me today, my good friend Rainbow has been… Neglecting her hair for a while now and needs it to be neatened up.”

Twilight could see I was distressed and came over to me.

“Don’t worry, Clean Clips is very good at what he does.”

“Just don’t do any frilly frou-frou stuff, ok? I like my hair a little… Wild. Like me.”

“No problem my dear” Clips said, gathering some tools and dumping them on the table next to me. “I only ever do what Is asked of me.”


Ten minutes later, I had to say, I looked a whole lot different. My face looked cleaner, my hair didn’t look anywhere near as matted as it was before and although it was stylistically the same, it seemed to almost frame my face. I was happy with it. Until I saw the bill.

“Forty bucks!?”

“Don’t worry, Rainbow, I said I would pay for everything!”

“But… Forty bucks? For a hair trim?”

“Again, darling, the price of beauty is always high. I got a very important order coming up soon and have a little bit of extra cash in my pocket.”

Jeez, this girl was insane.

“Rarity, you hardly know me! Why are you being this nice to me?”

“Well, this whole outing was so we could get to know you better! As for what I am doing, I would do this for anyone who needed it. And trust me, Rainbow. You needed it.” Rarity smiled and handed the money over to Clean Clips.

“Thank you very much for coming Miss Rarity! I hope to see you again soon!”

“Thank you too, Clips!” Rarity called back as we walked out of the salon and towards another store.

“Really, Rarity?”

“Come now, I won't take any photos.”

“No, you just want to laugh at my discomfort.”

“Stop being so silly.” Twilight called from outside the dressing room. “I'm sure it looks fine.”

I actually really liked what I looked like in this skirt thing, but I was still nervous, as anyone dressing up for the first time as another sex would know. I took a deep breath and calmed myself before stepping out.

“Oh my… Rainbow!”

“It looks terrible doesn't it?” I said, squinting my eyes as if to somehow prevent them from looking at me.

“No, Rainbow ! Quite the contrary! You look ravishing!“

“You really do, Rainbow!” Twilight said encouragingly.

“For real?” I said, looking at myself it the mirror again.

“I don't know what to say, girls… Thank you.” I began to tear up.

“Oh, Rainbow, it was our pleasure. I saw what you were wearing the first time we met and thought “If I can't save this fashion disaster, no one can!" And look at you now!”

“I have to agree with Rarity, you really do look a lot better. Happier too!”

“I… I am happier. Thank you both.”

“The pleasure is all ours.” Rarity smiled and put her hands together. “Now! What say we go see movie! The cinema is close by and they have that new Hasslehoof movie coming out soon. Oh and Rainbow, you can leave that skirt on. It's far more appropriate than what you were wearing before.”

“That sounds great Rarity. ” I smiled properly for the first time in my life. “It really does."

After the movie had finished, I said goodbye to Rarity and Twilight then went to get changed. I finished up and hailed a cab to take me back home, using the remaining money my Mum had given me. I got home and dumped my bag on the floor again and went straight for the fridge. It took me until I was opening the fridge to notice my Mum sitting silently at the living room table.

“Uh, hey Mum.” I said apprehensively before turning back to the fridge.

“Dash, can you come talk to me for a minute?”

“Sure… What's this about?” I walked over and sat next to her.

“I saw you today, Dash.”
I froze.

“At the mall.” This wasn't happening.

“And you were… In a skirt.”

“Mum, I can explain.”

“You don't need to, Dash.” I saw tears begin to roll down her cheeks.

“I know what you are, Dash. I'd thought that it might be possible for a while now, I was just… Hoping I was mistaken. But when I saw you today… you looked… happy. I've never seen you look like that before. Not around me, not at school, not when you were with your friends.”

I stood up and ran. Just like that. I sprinted through the house and out the door, all the while, my Mum was calling out for me as I ran. I felt like I was running for hours, my mind was blind with fear of rejection. Fear of people trying to “cure” me, but most of all, fear of facing my Mum again. Eventually, I stopped. I don't know why, but I just didn't feel like running anymore. I sat down under the tree and cried. After a few minutes I could hear my mum calling out for me in the distance.

“Dash? Dash, please!”
I didn't care. I was so scared of the possibilities that I didn't dare answer. I tried to think back and remember what my Mum said. “I know what you are…” I knew what she meant, but… There was a sadness in her voice that said “Why did this have to happen to me.”

Have I done something wrong? I didn't ask to be like this. I never wanted to be uncomfortable with my body, with my life. I thought that me being happy would make her happy. Why did my happiness do this to her? Suddenly I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out, expecting it to be my mum calling me but saw a message message from Fluttershy pop up instead.

“Hello rainbow. I hope today went well :) Twilight said u looked really happy. Can't wait to see u tomorrow!”

Tears dripped onto my phone and I sobbed while trying to clean it up with my hoodie’s sleeve, which did not do much more but smear them across the screen. I managed to gather the strength to text her back after a few minutes.

“mum found out. I'm not ok and I ran off. I'm lost and I don't know where I am. I think I'm near some park”

A few seconds later, I got a message back from Fluttershy.

“do you see any street signs? There's a park near my house, what street is closest?”

I took a look at the nearest street name and then texted her back.

“Crossland Way. I'm sorry.”

“Good, that's near my street. I'll be over in a few minutes.”

I let my head fall back and I slumped against the tree, letting it bounce heavily against the soft bark. Despite the slightly cushioned landing, I felt my head begin to throb with a coming headache. I felt a few drops hit my face and thought it might have been more tears until I realized that it fell on me. The drops sped up until I could feel it on my feet as well. Rain. My favourite weather. Feeling the icy drops slowly hit my skin filled me with some sort of muffled bliss. It felt freeing and cleansing, like for a few minutes, I was free of all worries and strifes. I heard a voice calling my name and kept my face pointing up at the sky.

“Rainbow? Where are you Rainbow?” I tried to ignore it.

“Rainbow?!”

Louder this time. But now I could tell something was different. This shout meant she had found me.
I flopped my head down and saw a pink haired girl running towards me.

“Fluttershy? Is that you?”

“Oh my goodness, Rainbow, you're soaked!” Fluttershy leant down to help me up and covered me with an umbrella.

“My house isn't that far, I'll get you a hot shower and some soup.”

“She hates me.” I muttered under my breath as Fluttershy helped me walk.

“She doesn't hate you! Just… maybe she said something she regretted. I'm sure she doesn't hate you though, you're her daughter.”

“But to her I'm still a son.”

“Maybe now, but I'm sure that in the future, she'll see that there's nothing wrong with you.”

“How can you know that, though? It’s not certain to happen, how can you be so sure.”

“I just am, OK? I met your mum before and she did not seem like one to abandon her child as soon as something trying comes up. She loves you.”

I sighed and smiled up at Fluttershy.

“Thanks Flutters.”

We eventually arrived back at Fluttershy’s house and she immediately brought me some towels and a hot cup of coffee before starting up a hot bath for me. After finishing my drink, I went to the bathroom and began to get ready for the bath. As I was getting changed, I looked over at myself in the bathroom mirror. That was a mistake. A flood of negative emotions began to rush over me, filling my head with all of these horrid thoughts. I tried my hardest to push the thoughts out of my head and let myself relax for half a second, but it did nothing to help. I began to sob and whimper, falling to my knees and crying on the cold tile floor. Fluttershy must have heard me, because she ran in, not stopping when she saw I was undressed, and began helping me back to my feet.

“Th-Thanks Flutters. I’m really sorry.”

Fluttershy covered me with a blanket and we sat down on the edge of the bath.

“It’s not a problem, Rainbow. You’re my friend.”

“No, not just for this now, but… For everything.”

Fluttershy raised an eyebrow and looked at me questioningly. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” I breathed out. “I mean that I’m sorry for how jealous of you I was. There, I said it, OK?” Fluttershy blushed but didn’t lose her apprehensive look.

“Dash, you really don’t have to be sorry for all that...”

“But I do. It was… It was the reason I didn’t keep in contact with you after middle school.” Immediately, her face switched to an expression of surprise.

“I used to always look at you and think… Maybe, just maybe, I could be like that.” I explained carefully. “I would see your toys, see your room, see the way that your Mum treated you and wished that I was in your place. I thought that I might have… A crush on you, but I realized that the feelings I had weren’t attraction, but jealousy. Towards the end of school, I started to push you away. I thought “Maybe if I got some manly friends, It’d stop me from having all these jealous thoughts.” I’m sorry, Flutters.”

Fluttershy hugged me tightly and nodded at me to continue.

“I thought that I had figured myself out. Instead, it filled me with disgust. I looked at the person I was pretending to be and felt sick. I just didn’t realise I was doing it all wrong until last year.”

“What happened last year?”

“I found an article in a magazine about this… Transgender person. He was saying all these things like “I wasn’t comfortable in my female body.” And “I didn’t like looking at my genitals.”. I started to realize that the things this person was saying were… Exactly the same as what I was feeling.”

“Oh Dash.” Fluttershy said and hugged me tighter.

“So I looked it up and ordered some medication over the internet. I know it’s bad, but I knew my mum would react like this, so I never told her.”

“What were you gonna do?”

“About what?”

“About when you start to grow… B-boobs.”

“What!?” I jumped up. “I’m gonna grow boobs!?”

“Of course you are! That’s what the female hormones in your medication will do! Didn’t you know that?”

“I knew a bit about it, but I thought that I would have to get implants! This is amazing!”

I jumped up and down in joy and Fluttershy stood up to join me.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my goooosh!” I shouted and danced around, finally feeling some sought of happiness after feeling like shit for so long. I looked over at Fluttershy and saw that she was equally as happy. I eventually sat down and giggled uncontrollably as Fluttershy did the same.

“Oh Dash, you really are a silly girl.”

“Hey, it's not my fault that all of these websites are all science and stuff. I'm not a brain, you know. Big words are not my strong suit, and those Web pages had nothin’ but ‘em.”

Fluttershy giggled again and smiled at me.

“Well, I think it's about time I had this bath. Thank you Fluttershy. For everything. “

“Oh, it's nothing, Rainbow. You're a good friend, and I would never abandon you.”

I felt my eyes welling up and covered my face with my hands. I had already made myself look lame enough in front of Fluttershy. I wiped my eyes before looking back up at her.

Suddenly, I heard my phone, which Fluttershy had placed on the bathroom counter, begin to ring.

“Oh no…” Fluttershy muttered and stared nervously at my phone. She held onto my arm to try and stop me from answering, but I shrugged her off.

“No. I have a few choice words to say to my mum.”

I stepped forwards and picked up my phone, staring at the familiar face that I set as her contact photo. I breathed in and then breathed out, preparing myself for the worst. I raised the phone to my ear and prepared to unload my anger on my mum.

“H-hello?” I squeaked out. Great. Just what I intended.

“Dash? Oh thank god, it’s you! I’m so worried about you! Why did you run off like that?”

“You said… All these things, and I thought you... I thought you were… Going to kick me out. I was r-really scared, Mum.” A few seconds of silence and then my mum spoke.

“Why? Why would you think that?” My mum said softly. “I’m your mother! I’ll never abandon you! And while I did see you cross-dressing, I know it’s just for fun and stuff. I just would prefer if you don’t… Do it outside. I don’t think you’re gay or anything, and I wouldn’t care even if you were!” My mum said, her voice trying to be caring and kind. “You’re my son. A fetish isn’t going to make me kick you out.”

“A fetish.” I said bluntly. “A FETISH!?” I was screaming now. “You think this is a FETISH? Ever since Dad died, you’ve been ignoring me and pretending that my problems don’t exist! I hate myself, Mum! I hate my body! I want to die! I don’t do this to get off, I do it because I want to be a girl! I’ve always wanted to be a girl!”

I panted, my short outburst over. My mind swam with all of these thoughts of my Mum rejecting me and kicking me out. She didn’t reply, and I could hear nothing but static on her end. The silence was killing me, and I had to end it.

“Well? Mum?”

“Just give me a second, Dash.”

“I’ve given you a second, Mum. Talk.”

She paused her breathing and prepared to speak.

“I… I just… I never thought this would happen. I’m so sorry, Dash.”

“You’re… Sorry?” I said, a glimmer of hope appearing in my mind.

“Yes, of course! What I said before still stands. I will always love you, and I’m so sorry I didn’t pay enough attention to you before.”

“So… You don’t want me to leave?”

“I never said that I did want you to leave, Dash. You did.” My Mum said and sniffed her nose. “I’ve heard about people like this before, I just… I thought it was so rare. The chances of my child being like this were… So slim. So slim that I never even thought it might happen.”

“I’m not sick, Mum.”

“I know, I know. My mind just… Didn’t even think of it when I saw you. But I do accept it. If you want me to start calling you my daughter and everything, I will. I already lost one part of my life when your Dad died, I’m not risking that again.”

I hadn’t even noticed it until now, but I was bawling. The whole time my mum had been talking, tears were streaming down my face. This time, those tears weren’t of sadness, but happiness.

“T-Thank you, Mum.”

“I love you, Dash. More than any mother could love their child.”

“I love you too, Mum.”

There was silence and then a short sigh on her end.

“Good. Now, where are you?”

“Mum, I’m… I’m not coming home tonight. I know you’re accepting of me and all that, but for tonight, I just… I want to relax and sleep well.”

“OK then. I’m sorry, Dash, for anything I’ve done to offend y- Oh god.”

“What? What is it?”

“I just remembered what I said about Fancy Pants’s girlfriend the other day. Oh gosh, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s OK, Mum, really. It just… Threw me a bit. I’m gonna go have a bath now, the water's getting cold. Again… Thanks for being so accepting.”

We said our goodbye’s and I hung up, turning to see Fluttershy with tears in her eyes and a huge smile on her face. She immediately threw herself forward into a hug and began sobbing into my shoulder.

“Whoah, hey buddy, calm down.”

“Dash- I’m- So- Happy for you!” She cried, sobbing between words.

“Jeez, Shy, enough!” I giggled and shoved her playfully. “But I did mean what I said before.”

“Wh-what?” She said looking up at me.

“I really, Really want that bath right now.”

Author's Notes:

Hey everyone, thanks for reading this story! I'm working on the second chapter and can't wait to hear about what you think of my first non - clop.

Chapter 2

I really hated waking up in someone else’s house, it was always a disorienting experience. There was always that weird “Why the hell is my bed different.” feeling as soon as you wake up, only to remember why you were there. I sat up in Fluttershy’s spare bed that she had put on the floor next to her bed and rubbed my eyes sleepily, glancing at the empty bed before picking myself up and stumbling towards the door. I opened it up and a smell of toast cooking flooded my senses. I wandered toward the kitchen and saw a woman that I didn’t recognize humming softly and searching through the cupboards.
“Uhh, hello?” I said quietly, trying not to shock her in case she didn’t know I was there.

“Oh, hello!” She turned around cheerily and smiled widely. “You must be Rainbow Dash! Fluttershy told me all about you! You’re welcome to stay as long as you like!” She turned back to the cupboard and began searching through it again.

“She told you… Everything? Even… That?” I nervously asked.
“Yes, she told me, and before you go rushing to conclusions, we both share the same views.” She said, head still inside the cupboard.

I walked over to the kitchen table and sat down, rubbing the sleep from my eyes and yawning widely. Sometime during my yawn, Fluttershy walked in and sat next to me.

“Hey, Dash. I hope you slept well.”

“Eh, can't really complain, I guess. Thanks again.”

“You don't need to thank me, Dash. I'd do it for any friend.“

“That just makes you even more awesome, Shy.” I smiled an apprehensive but thankful smile. As much as Fluttershy is absolutely my best friend and I'm appreciative of everything she'd done for me, I wasn't out of the woods yet. My Mum knows now and seems to be accepting, but it's not the end of the road yet. Not even close.

“So, Fluttershy… I was wondering… I mean, obviously you don't have to, but if you want to…” I murmured and scratched the back of my neck nervously. Fluttershy just sat there, attentively listening to everything I said. I was hoping she would say something, but that clearly wasn't going to happen. I breathed in and closed my eyes.

“Would you be able to come with me tonight? I need to talk to my Mum and I'd really appreciate a friend to back me up.” I asked, my eyes still closed, preparing for the worst, even though I knew I had nothing to worry about. Old habits are hard to lose.

“Of course I will!” Fluttershy said before the sound of someone clearing their throat came from behind her. Her Mum looked at her from the kitchen, an eyebrow raised expectantly.

“Oh! But yeah, only if my Mum is OK with me doing that. Sorry.”

“I'm fine with it, Deary!” Her Mum said and placed a hand on Shy’s shoulder. “Just be back by 10, or text me to let me know if you're saying the night.”

“Th-Thanks, Mum.” Fluttershy smiled and turned face her mother.

“Yeah, thanks a bunch, Miss… Uh...” Oh crap, I didn't realize until now that I had no idea what Fluttershy’s Mums name was. “Miss Shy?”

“No problem at all, Deary! But my friends just call me Pap.” The older woman said before a look of shock swept her face. “Ooh! I just remembered! You two are going to be late for school! Hurry now, I'm sure Fluttershy will lend you some clean clothes for the day, Hmm? Good girl.”

We rushed to finish our breakfast and then went to Fluttershy’s room. She helped me pick out a very simple outfit that made me not completely despise my look before getting changed herself and then heading back out to the dining area.

“We’re off for school, Mum.” Fluttershy hugged her Mum and something very weird happened. Her Mum brought her head eye level to Fluttershy’s cheek before leaning forward and blinking rapidly, her eyelashes just brushing Fluttershy’s cheek. She blushed profusely before quickly bidding her goodbye and rushing to leave. I said goodbye and jogged to catch up with her.

“So, uh… Your Mum is really nice. That thing she did before was kinda weird, but really sweet.”

“It’s c-called a b-butterfly kiss.” She said, surprisingly matter of factly. “Cos her eyelashes feel like butterfly wings…”

My heart melted a little, but I sure as hell wouldn't get caught showing it.

“That's really cute, Shy. Your Mum’s a great person. Just glad my Mum’s not that mushy.” I lied and gave Fluttershy a cocky grin. To be honest, I'd love to have something special to share between me and my Mum, but we had only two things in common. We were both stubborn and we both lived under the same roof. After that, the similarities ended.

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Eventually, we arrived at school and walked in through the front doors together. We traveled to the regular meeting spot where I had been meeting up with and chatting with the girls for the past few days, but as soon as I opened the door, I could tell something was off. For starters, I hadn't been greeted by Pinkie the second I opened the door. On top of that, there was a particular farmer that was missing from the group. As I looked around the room, I could see that all of the girls in the room had the same glum expression on their faces.

“Hey, girls, what's up?” I said, placing my school bag down.

“I- is everything OK?” Fluttershy asked apprehensively. “Where's AJ?”

“She… Had another episode again. The poor thing.” Rarity spoke up, her voice filled with familiar pity and sadness. “I worry about her so much.”

I looked over to Fluttershy for answers who gave me a nervous look before leading me out of the room.

“What's going on?” I asked as Shy shut the door. “Is Applejack OK?”

“She'll be fine, Rainbow. Applejack… She… It's very complicated, but you should know. She's always wanted to be completely honest about this part of her life.” Fluttershy put glumly. I gulped and waited for her explanation. “Applejack is an amazing friend of ours. She's the most honest and hardworking person I know. She has had a lot of bad things happen to her that she didn't deserve.”

“Is something wrong? Why isn't she here today? “

“Dash… You have to understand that not everyone in this world is nice. Some people take a long time to change if they're mean, and some people… Never do. A long time ago, Applejack used to work with her parents on their farm. She was really happy there with her big brother and baby sister. About a year after Apple bloom was born, her… Her mother fell very, very sick. Applejack loved her very much and before she passed, Applejack told her Mum and Dad the truth. She told them she was attracted to girls. Her Mum was accepting, but her father turned his back on her. Her mother passed away eventually, and all of the bottled up anger and grief her Dad had was let out on Applejack. Her Dad blamed her for what happened to her mother, and if he wasn't blaming her, he was saying that her “life choices” made her mother's final days hell. After a few years of trying to keep the farm afloat almost by herself, her Dad w-was found… And h-he had hung… Oh God.” Fluttershy sobbed and I pulled her in for hug. After a short while of crying, Fluttershy thanked me and continued, clearly having had to explain this story before.

“Her Dad had left a suicide note, all but blaming all of the family's problems on her and her so called “deviancy”. This all happened before I met her, and I had never imagined such friendly person like her could be carrying such a heavy burden.”

“But… I don't get it. What's going on now? Where is AJ?”

“Every once in awhile, Applejack has… Episodes. It usually happens when someone else says something that her Dad might have said, but it has happened completely randomly before. She loses her temper and shouts at everyone, student, teacher, doesn't matter.”

“Oh crap.” I scratched the back of my head, finally understanding what might have happened.

“She has to deal with running that farm almost on on her own. Her brother works hard, but he's not very book smart. Her grandmother is great at the business side of things, but she's old and has a lot of trouble remembering important things. Applebloom, her sister, is young and innocent, but tries her best to help out at the farm, which definitely helps take a load off of Applejack. She was way too young to understand anything that happened with her Dad and her Mother at the time, and Applejack is taking extra measures to make sure that her childhood is as happy as possible. She doesn't want little Applebloom to be stuck working on this farm like she was. All of this stress and pressure, especially after hiding it so well from her friends and family… She can't bottle it up for ever. She's probably in one of the teachers office's getting told off for whatever she's said or done. We'll just have to wait and comfort her when she gets out.”

“Oh God, poor Applejack. I never knew. We gotta do something!” I shook Fluttershy lightly, my anger at whoever had upset Applejack beginning to show itself.

“We can't really do much except wait, Rainbow. I'm sorry.”

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“Like I said, Applejack, you can't keep doing this! This isn't the first time you've been sent in here here for hitting another student. I'm going to have to suspend you.”

“What?” Applejack shouted, anger in her voice. The grey haired teacher before her put her face In her hands and sighed heavily. “Look, Miss, Ah know Ah did something wrong, but Ah jus’... Ah really can't get suspended again. Please Miss Mare, Ah can change. I'll stop!”

Miss Mare sighed again and looked Applejack in the eye.

“I know it might not seem like it, Applejack, but I'm protecting you right now. If too many of these reports go through to Mrs. Harshwhinny or Vice Principal Luna, then I can't help you anymore! They will try and have you expelled!”

The farm girl gripped her hat in in her hands and clenched hard, letting out a little bit bit of her pent up anger at the inanimate hat.

“Did you hear the things she was saying to me? She called me dyke! Lesbian trash! Ah do not sit by while Ah get teased for being myself.”

“And I know that! I've suspended this girl many times before for the things she has said to you, but you can't let your anger out on her. You have to let us handle other students, you can't take matters into your own hands.”

For the third time, Miss Mare sighed into into her hands.

“My hands are tied. I'm sorry, Applejack. You're suspended for a week. I can't guarantee I'll be there to soften the punishment next time. You can finish the school day today, but tomorrow, you'll report to my office for in school suspension. I'm sorry.”

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We sat in silence as we waited for Applejack to get out of Miss Mare's office. We could have talked about many things, but instead, we just sat there and waited for our friend. Eventually, she left the office and saw us waiting outside.

“Y’all heard what happened?”

None of us replied, we just all stood up up and rushed to hug her. She sobbed while we hugged her and she forced a smile. Eventually, Applejack pulled away from the group hug.

“Thanks, gals. I don't know what Ah’d do without ya. Did ya tell Rainbow, Flutters?”

“I--”

“She did.” I answered for her.

“Thanks.”

I needed to do something about this! I had only known AJ for a few days now, but I felt deep down that I had to do something to help.

“Hey, you girls go head back, I gotta ask AJ something real quick.”

I said goodbye to the girls, looking Fluttershy in the eye and smiling before she left. Hopefully she knows that I have only good intentions in mind.

“So… Now you know mah big secret. Sorry ya had to find out like this.”

“It's fine, AJ. I… I need to tell you something, it's only fair.”

“Ya don't have to tell me any of yer secrets, I don't expect ya to do that just because you found out about mine. Ah already know that you're a lesbian, like me.”

“I'm not exactly…” I thought for a second. I kinda was, but still kinda wasn't.

“It doesn't entirely have to do with that, and to be honest, I just think… I need someone to unload my problems upon. It's good to just let some stuff out, y’know?”

The blonde haired girl smiled at me with tears in her eyes. It was now or never.

“Ever since I was a little… Kid, my Dad always expected me to be this tough, strong person who never backed down. He would take me to karate, sports games, wrestling matches, over and over again. I hated it. I wanted to feel… Girly for once. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm freakin’ awesome at sports and am completely happy with that part of myself, but deep down, I've always wanted to be treated… Like a girl.”

“Rainbow, you don't have t-”

“Yes, I really do.” I interrupted, determined to tell her no matter what. “When I was 10, I decided that I wanted to try on my mother's clothes and make up. My Dad found me and lost his shit. He started getting angry, throwing around furniture, s-shouting at me, calling me “fag” and “queer”. I r-ran away and hid from him, but he found me and… He h-hit me.” Tears were streaming down my face now and Applejack pulled me in for a hug.

“I w-wasn't good enough for him! He abandoned me and my Mum!” I sobbed “I didn't ask to be born like this! I'm a freak!” I screamed into Applejack’s shoulder.

“Sugar cube, you're not a freak! It's perfectly natural for a young girl to play dress up!"

Oh God, this weight was bringing down my mind and I needed to unload or I would go crazy. If Applejack could let everyone know about herself, I owed her the truth too.

“That's just it, Applejack. I'm not… A girl. Well, not a real one...”

“W-what?” Applejack pulled a little out of the hug.

“I needed to tell you, you're just so nice and honest, I couldn't bare lying to you anymore. I'm transgender. I was born a boy.”

Applejack looked at me with tears in her eyes. Mine filled up to the brim and I didn't dare blink to risk them pouring out.

“Sugar cube… Ah…” She stared at me dumbfounded.

Suddenly, she pulled me in and hugged me tight. She squeezed me tightly and sobbed into my chest as I sobbed into her shoulder.

“Don't you worry, Ah’m here, let it out.”

I cried so hard that I could feel my chest begin to strain from all of the sobbing. I let all my repressed anger out in these tears. All of these years of pretending and now finally I had found a place where I was accepted. I belonged here. I pulled away and looked straight into Applejack’s eyes.

“Thank you, Applejack. I've never cried more over the past few days than I- Mmmf!” I was interrupted as a pair of lips met mine. I was wide eyed for a second, watching as the face of my new friend was pressed against mine before closing my own eyes. I sunk down into the kiss and felt Applejack's grip tighten around me. Everything about this moment felt so weird, but so absolutely right. I opened my lips a little further and felt as her tongue made its way into my mouth. I moaned quietly as I let myself enjoy everything that was happening. I didn't care if I would regret it later, I let this happen and I enjoyed every second of it. After God knows how long, she pulled away from me with a gasp.

“Oh God, Ah'm so sorry. I didn't… I mean, I…” She stammered nervously.

“Applejack…”

“Ah don't know what came over me, Ah’m so sorry.”

“Applejack, please.”

I gripped her by her arm and brought her attention to me.

“You don't need to be sorry. I... Really liked that.”

She stood silent for a few seconds.

“...Ya did?”

“Yes.” I smiled, tears still in my eyes from before. “It was a shock, but… Yeah. I liked it. And I suppose I kinda like... You…?”

She lurched in and hugged me tight again before pulling herself away again.

“B-but ya hardly know me! Ah hardly know you! Why did Ah do that, this was a mistake.”

“I don't think it was. I think that… You're worth trying for.”

“Rainbow… Thank you.”

“You don't need to thank me at all.”

“Ah want to. We should really get back to the girls, they're probably wondering what's… taking us… Oh, heck.” Applejack looked behind me angrily and I swiveled around to see four girls peeking around the corner with huge smiles on their faces.

“God damn it.”

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I tried to continue my day as normal, but found my mind drawn to thoughts of Applejack the whole day. I might as well have slept through the day, I was daydreaming so much. I thought about the farmer and how much I didn't know about her. Did she like sports? What kind of movies did she like? What was her family like? I had all these questions to ask, so many of them inappropriate to ask someone, regardless of how good friends they were. It was lunch right now and I had elected to sit separately from from the others and think about this morning.

Suddenly, a voice jolted me out of my thoughts.

“Hey, Dash!” I looked over to see Pinkie had sat next to me and had already brought out her lunch. “Soooooooooo…”

“Pinkie, please.”

“What was it like kissing Applejack?”

“Pinkie! Ugh. I'm not answering that. Just how much of our conversation did you hear?”

“Not telling! You gotta answer my questions first!”

“Fine. It was… Nice.”

Pinkie blinked at me unimpressed.

“Well duh, it's at kiss! Kisses are always nice! I mean, what was it like kissing her.”

“It was…”

It was amazing. I didn't want the kiss to ever end. I wanted her to hold me in her strong arms for ever.

“It was pretty cool. She's a really good kisser.”

“Ugh, I want the juicy details! But fine, I'm clearly not gonna get that out of you. Where are you gonna take her on your first date?”

I almost spat my food out.

“F-f-first d-date?”

“Of course, silly! You have to take a girl on a date if you kiss them! Well, you sort of did it backwards. First, you have romantic feelings for someone, then you take them on a date, then you kiss them, but never mind!”

“I hadn’t really even thought of it. This is all going so fast. So, how much did you guys hear?”

“We didn’t really hear anything. We came to check up on you and saw you two mashing faces! It was sooooo cuuuuuute~!”

“Pinkie, I am not cute.”

“Oh yes you were! Now go ask her on a date!”

I sat up from my seat with determination.

“You know what, Pinkie? I will. I will go ask Applejack on a date.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I walked around the schoolyard until I found where Applejack was seated. I watched her from afar for a bit before walking up to her and sitting down.

“H-Hey, AJ.”

“Hey… Rainbow. Look, If you want to just pretend that what happened before never happened, Ah can live with that. Ah still wanna be your friend, and Ah don’t want my stupid overenthusiasm ruin our friendship.”

“You know, you’re a klutz, AJ.”

“What?”

“A klutz. Your lip-work was all over the place. You clearly need guidance.”

I stared at Applejack, giggling a little as I saw her mind try to piece together what I meant.

“Rainbow, Wh-what’re you talkin’ about?”

“I’m sure I can teach you a few things, but you need to pay me back for it. How about, I teach you how to kiss me properly, and you take me out on a date?”

“Oh. Oh…”

“Get it now, klutz?”

“Yeah.” AJ smiled warmly at me and put her hand on mine. “Ah think Ah rightly do.”

“Jeez, what has it been, half a day and you’re already dyke-ing it up?” A nasal sounding voice came from behind us. I turned around to see a girl with pale green hair and a few other girls surrounding her. “Seriously, Applejack, you must not have learnt a thing from your punishment.”

“Who the hell are you?” I asked angrily.

“I should be asking you the same question! Wait, I know you! Rainbow hair? Jeez, it’s the fucking Queen Dyke herself!”

“Lay off, Quartz. Rainbow didn’t do anything wrong. It’s me you’ve got beef with.” Applejack stood up, clenching her fists so hard, I could see the white of her knuckles.

“Listen to that, even her name sounds dyke-y." The other girls surrounding her let out a condescending giggle. "I’m sure you girls could stop all of this disgusting stuff. If only you had a positive role model in your life, AJ. Well, at least one that’s still alive.”

I hardly had the time to grab a hold of Applejack before she tried to throw herself at the girl. She struggled against my grip, but I knew what would happen if I let go.

“She’s not worth it, AJ!” I shouted, trying to quell the angry girl I was holding onto.

“Quartz” simply laughed at us and began to walk away.

“I’ll leave you alone and let you two lover birds make the rest of the school sick. Toodles!”

I held on to Applejack as she struggled to chase after the girl who had just walked off. Eventually, she calmed herself and slumped down on her seat next to me. She lay her head down on the table we were at and began to cry. It broke my heart to see her cry and know that I couldn’t really do anything to help.

“What does she know? She’s just… A stupid high school girl, OK?”

“I’m a stupid high school girl.”

“No you’re not, AJ.”

“All my life, all Ah wanted to do was just be myself. Ah wanted to be honest with everyone. Maybe Ah made a mistake…”

“No way, AJ! You made the right decision telling everyone!”

“You saw the way that Quartz treated me. She used to… She used to be a friend, Rainbow. A really close friend.”

“W-What?” I stammered, my mind swimming with confusion.

“Back before Ah moved to Canterlot High, Ah was homeschooled by my Granny. With mah parents not there to pay for bills, Granny had no way to keep the farm running and keep me educated, so she home schooled me while Ah took care of the farm with mah brother. Mah Mum had a natural talent for numbers n’ such when she was still with us, but Ah wasn't so lucky.”

“AJ…” I interjected, but she continued regardless.

“One day, a man came to the door to ask about my education. He said that my granny was unfit to homeschool me since she had dropped out of high school when she was younger, so he organized a tutor to come and teach me. It cost us a bit, but Ah just couldn't spend time off from the farm to go to school. Ah had to accept.”

I put my arm around Applejack and hugged her firmly. I could see tears falling from her freckled cheeks as she continued.

“A week later, a lovely woman came to tutor me and brought her daughter along too. My tutor was named Solid Quartz and her daughter… Sharp. Sharp Quartz.”

“The girl from before…” I muttered.

“Eeyup. Solid Quartz taught me all kinds of things, Rainbow. By the third week, Ah was already doing much better on my tests and had become good friends with Sharp. We used to hang out and play in the orchard every time Ah had a lunch break from tutoring. Weeks turned to months and Ah relished the chance to be tutored because it meant that Ah would be able to see my new best friend. The only thing was… Ah started to see her as more than just a friend.”

“Oh God.”

“One day, Ah confessed my feelings for Sharp. She rejected me. I don't know why Ah expected any different, but the deed was done. I got word from Solid Quartz that she would no longer be tutoring me and would call the police if she ever saw me with her daughter again.”

“Applejack… I… I don't know what to say.”

“It's okay, sugar cube. I'm over it and Ah moved on. The only problem is that she... Didn't. Eventually, when Applebloom was old enough to start workin' the fields and Big Mac got us a spot in the town market, the farm was sustainable enough that Ah could start going to school again, but when I turned up, the first person Ah saw…”

“Was Sharp Quartz.” I finished for her.

“Immediately, she told the whole school what Ah did and what Ah am. Ah’m not embarrassed to be who Ah am, but what she said to me… The things she did… She made me ashamed to be myself. And she hasn't stopped.”

I didn't know what to say to her. Sure, I was always an effeminate guy, but I always kept that pushed down. I drowned that part of me in sports and running medals, so unlike her, I never got teased for similar reasons.

“Oh God, Rainbow, Ah'm a mess.” Applejack mumbled, pulling her Stetson down and holding it in front of her face.

“Hey now…” I said and held her a little closer. “You're not alone, you know. You have great friends who love you for who you are and now… You have me. I know we haven't known each other for very long at all, but you've laid your heart open to me and I've laid mine open for you. Sharp might say all those mean things about us, but those words mean nothing. They are just words.”

AJ smiled and wiped tears from her eyes, clearing some dirt away with it. Underneath, her freckles dotted her cheeks like tiny stars. It was undeniably adorable, but I would never admit it.

“Back before we met… Just when Ah heard that a new friend was coming from Pinkie… Ah really did know there was something special about you, Rainbow. Thank you.” She sniffed and wiped more of the tears from her face.

As I helped her stand up, I saw Pinkie running towards us with an extremely tall and extremely well dressed teacher with multicolored hair in tow.

“Rainbow! AJ! I saw Quartz come over, and I know how much of a meany mean pants she can be, so I went and found Principal Celestia so she could-”

“That's quite enough, Pinkie.” Principal Celestia said, her voice a surprisingly calming melody.

“I would like to hear Applejack's side of the story, and this girl's as well.”

I looked at AJ as she stood up to address the principal.

“Ah'm sorry, Principal. Ah didn't hurt her this time, Ah swear.”

“I believe you, my student, but I would still like to hear what happened.”

“Well… I was talking to Rainbow here when Quartz came up to me and started teasing us. If it hadn't been for Rainbow… I might have done something mighty foolish.”

Principal Celestia nodded calmly before looking toward me.

“I don't believe I have seen you around the school yet, Rainbow Dash, but I have heard quite a bit about you from Twilight Sparkle. I do believe you have managed to make yourself a generous amount of friends seeing you have only been here for a few days.”

“Uh… Yes, Principal.”

“No need to feel so anxious, my new student. Now, I would like to hear what you have to say about what happened.”

“Well… I… Applejack and I were kinda… Holding hands.”

Principal Celestia raised an eyebrow, a small smile forming on her lips.

“But then, Sharp Quartz turned up and started calling me and Applejack all these horrible things. She called me “Queen dyke” and said that we’d make the school sick from… What we were doing.”

“Applejack, is this true?”

“Y-Yes ma’am.”

“Hmm. Applejack, unfortunately I heard from Miss Mare about what happened this morning and I must agree that the behavior you displayed was unacceptable and you will carry out your in-school suspension tomorrow. After hearing about what happened not long ago though, and after having your statement confirmed, I can assure you that Sharp Quartz will absolutely be punished further. I commend you on the way you handled this situation, girls, and I hope you have learnt how to deal with situations similar to this.”

Applejack nodded and put her Stetson back upon her head.

“Ah sure have, Principal. Ah'm sorry for how Ah acted before.”

“It’s quite alright. I’m glad you’ve learnt this valuable lesson. Now, you girls try and have a pleasant day. Farewell, my students.”

We all watched Principal Celestia walk off before looking back at each other and smiling. I heard a whoosh before I felt myself get picked up in the biggest hug if had ever had.

“Pinkie! Please let us go!” Applejack shouted at the crazy, pink haired girl who was holding us.

“I can't! I'm just sooooo happy! Ooh! I know, we should have a slumber party! Now you're one of the girls, RD, you need to come to one! It'll be so great! We'll have snacks, and games, and movies, and candy! I have to go tell the others!”

Pinkie dropped us all of a sudden before disappearing faster than I could blink.

“Come to my house on Saturdaaaaaaaaayyy…!” I heard her voice trail out from far across the school yard. I looked to Applejack only to get as shrug in return.

“Trust me, you'll get used to her soon enough, sugar cube.”

Author's Notes:

Boopity boop, here's chapter 2

Added romance tag for obvious reasons. I didn't really plan this happening when i conceived the story, but I just couldn't resist Appledash. I assure you that it won't take control of the story, but Applejack will definitely become a new shoulder for Dash to lean on.

Hope you all enjoy this, and sorry for the short delay. Some shitty stuff happened to me over Christmas and New years, but I'm happy to be writing again :twilightsmile:

Chapter 3

Fluttershy and I stood outside the door to my house. I had been in this house for an extremely short time, and already my life had changed. I had yet to see if it was definitely for the better, but so far, it seems like it was. I had four new friends, a seemingly accepting Mum, a romantic interest and I had been reunited with an old friend that I thought I had driven away. We both stood outside silently, waiting for me to open the door. I had my hand on the handle, but I was frozen in space. My nerves were getting the best of me and I know they really shouldn’t, especially seeing as my Mum had a positive reaction when we talked on the phone, but I guess I was always going to approach situations overly apprehensive.

“Are you okay, Dash? I don’t have to be here… I-if you d-don’t want me to, of c-course…”

I turned around and shook my head. “Of course I want you here, Shy. I don’t think I can face my Mum alone.”

“It’ll be fine, okay? You heard how your mum reacted to this when you told her on the phone. She was nothing but positive.”

“I know, but… I’m still nervous. I just don’t want to disappoint her.”

“You won’t, Dash. She loves you. Don’t forget that.”

I breathed in heavily, then slowly exhaled, trying to let all of my worries out with my breath.

“Okay. Let’s do this.”

I pushed the handle down and walked into my house. Fluttershy followed not far behind and looked around at the bare walls. It definitely seems that my mum has had other things on her mind recently as the last few times we had moved, she had enjoyed decorating our new house and trying to make it more like a home rather than just a house. None of those houses ever felt like home to me.

We walked into the living room and saw my Mum sitting on the couch, watching some TV show. I cleared my throat and she turned around, clearly not having heard us walk in.

“Dash!” She rushed to stand up and ran toward me. I prepared myself for the huge hug that followed. “I was so worried! You had me scared to death!”

“I’m so sorry, Mum.”

“Don’t you dare be sorry, Dash! You have nothing to be sorry for!”

“Y-yes I do!” I cried into the hug, sobbing enough that it wracked my entire body. “I ran away, I worried you, I’ve been the shittiest kid ever…”

“I don’t care, Dash. You’re safe and that’s all that matters.”

“Please… Let me be sorry…” I cried pitifully.

“Fine, Dash, but you still don’t have to say it.” She pulled away from the hug but kept her hands on my shoulders. She looked into my eyes and smiled, yet her eyes were full of tears. Was this just her showing a strong face for her child, or tearful happiness?

“Sit down, Dash. I want to talk to you about a few things.”

We walked over to the living room table and pulled out a few chairs.

“So… I take it you’ll start dressing more… Feminine from now on?”

I nodded and stared at my feet. For some reason, I couldn’t even bring myself to look at her.

“Dash, I… I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to do this. You gotta help me here.”

I choked on my sobs and coughed a couple of times. What did she want me to say, that I’m sick? That I need help? That I want to… Change parts of me? Fluttershy stepped forward and put her hand on my shoulder, the comforting gesture filling me with just that little bit of confidence.

“It’s OK, Dash. We both love you. You’re safe.”

I looked over my shoulder at the person who had been my best friend for years and saw a calm, reassuring smile on her face. I nodded and looked back to my Mum.

“I want… I need to see a doctor. They can give me some p-pills that will change the hormones in my body. I can avoid putting myself through puberty as a dude and instead… I’ll be a girl.”

My mother stayed silent for a few seconds and then nodded shakily.

“Do you want to ch-change your name?”

“No… Rainbow Dash is already androgynous enough, but I’ve heard s-stories of a few other people… Like me who change their name.”

“So I guess… You’ll need to tell your friends at school?”

I froze at the thought.

“W-well, not exactly. I kinda… I haven’t told all of them, but… How do I put it, uh…”

Fluttershy spoke for me.

“Rainbow was not presenting as female the first day she came to school, but all of her and my friends thought she was a girl anyway. She’s actually very lucky in that her voice hasn’t changed and she looks quite girly already.”

“Really?” My mother asked. “I always thought he- Um… She, sorry, was quite masculine.”

My body locked up and my stomach pitted when I heard her say that.

“N-no!” Fluttershy said, a sense of panic in her voice. “She really doesn’t look masculine at all. Especially not with her new haircut and with her clothes. She’s extremely lucky. Not everyone is as lucky as her.”

“I guess h- She is…” My mother looked down with disappointment in her eyes. “I’m sorry Dash. I know that… This is a part of you and I know I need to accept it, but it’s gonna take time to take all of this in.”

“I know, Mum.” I sat in silence for a few seconds before speaking again. “I’m sorry I’m not the son you wanted.”

“Dash, you are the son I wanted! O-or, you are the d-daughter I wanted. Sorry, it’s all still fresh to me, but I do want you! Just because you want to be a girl doesn’t mean I would ever hate you or be disappointed. Yes, it’s a big shock, but you’re still my… Child. You’re still mine and I still do, and always will, love you.”

“How?” I asked.

“How? How can I love the kid I spent thirteen years of my life loving?”

“I-I’m a freak. Dad said I was a freak and he was right.”

“No… No, Dash, he... I might not understand why you want to change, but I’m still going to support you in every way. Just because I’m happy being the way I am doesn’t mean everyone else is. Why do you think people go on diets? Or wear makeup? It makes them feel good to strive towards what they want to look like.”

“Firefly is right, Dash. People try and change themselves all the time. If you’re going to be happy from it, who is she to judge?”

“Dash, you’re not out there murdering people or causing mayhem, so it doesn’t matter! This makes you happy. Being a girl… Makes you happy. What kind of mother would I be if I said you couldn’t be happy?”

Tears of joy were pouring down my face. I looked at both Fluttershy and my Mum and saw nothing but love for me. I broke down and my Mum held me close.

“Shh… It’s OK, Dashie. We’re here for you and we’ll never leave you.”


After the conversation with my mum, Fluttershy and I went up to my room. She suggested that I get some sleep and I could tell from the way she was talking that she was equally exhausted from today’s events. Who wouldn’t be? It wasn’t even so much physically draining as it was mentally and emotionally.

I put my head down to sleep and stared out the window, counting my blessings. I had friends for the first time in my life. Real friends that didn’t talk about me behind my back. It hardly felt real.

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“Alright kids, good workout today! Get yourself washed up and ready for next class.” The coach shouted to our class. I happily jogged to the changing rooms, glad to get out of my gym clothes and back into fresh new ones. I always would rush to the change rooms to be the first one in so I could grab a stall and avoid getting changed in front of everyone else. I still felt kind of nervous going into the girls change rooms and stood at the door for a bit.

“Hey Rainbow, what’s wrong? Kinda wanna get changed asap over here.” A voice said from behind. It was Lightning Dust, a girl from my gym class and another fitness nut.

“U-uh, yeah, sorry Dust.” I stepped out of the way. She eyed me strangely as she passed.

“Dash, are you alright? You look like you’re sweating up a storm.”

“Y-yeah, just y’know, ran really f-fast this class, you know? Heheh.” I stuttered out.

“Well, if you’re sure. Oh yeah, avoid the stalls today. The toilets got flooded by some idiot stuffing it full of an other kids lunch. Unless you feel like getting changed in shit-water, that is.” She gave me a short salute before heading into the bathroom. The room was surprisingly occupied with a few other girls, seemingly from another class that ended around the same time as ours getting ready for their gym class.

Shit, no stall? I couldn’t get changed in front of all these girls! And Dust was right, I was soaked in sweat and the stalls at the back were flooded, so much that water was leaking all the way into the stalls on the other side. There was no way I could wear this outfit to my next period. I cautiously made my way in, trying to not look at any of the changing girls as I did. I moved to the corner and put my bag down on the bench. Just as my bag hit the floor, a familiar, nasal voice rang out.

“Watch out girls, looks like the dyke’s here. Wouldn’t want her feeling you all up, huh?”

I spun around to find myself face to face with Sharp Quartz and her goons.

“Looks like your girlfriend’s not here to protect you this time, freak.” She said with a snide laugh and a confident “Hmph.”

“I’m not a freak.” I spoke through clenched teeth, my brow furrowed in anger.

“Oh yeah? You’re not, are you? Last time I checked, it’s not exactly normal to fuck other girls.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be in suspension right now?” I asked.

“Why don’t you mind your own business, dyke? If you must know, I was pardoned for good behaviour.”

“You are so full of shit, Quartz.” Lightning Dust piped up from behind her.

“You too, huh?” Quartz said before Lightning started to advance on the bully.

“I think you’ll keep your distance if you’d like me to still keep your little secret, hmm?”

She stopped in her tracks and angrily glared at Quartz before giving me an apologetic look.

“That’s what I thought. Now, what to do with you…” She looked me up and down like a piece of meat.

“Girls, grab her bag.”

Before I could even react, the two goons following Quartz leant down and snatched my bag from the bench.

“Hey! My clothes are in there!”

A few girls in the change rooms gasped, while the rest of them ignored what was happening. Either Sharp Quartz had some dirt on them as well or they just didn’t care enough.

“Throw it in the stalls. I was punished for speaking the truth, now you’ll be punished for submitting everyone to what you were doing with that backwater hick, Applejack.”

Immediately after she said that, one of her goons flung my bag over the toilet door and I heard a loud splash as my bag landed directly in one of the overflowing toilets.

“Hey!” I shouted and pushed Quartz in the chest. As soon as I did so, I realized I had made a mistake.

“Did you just touch me?” She looked absolutely flabbergasted, like I had just killed a puppy before her very eyes.

“Did you just touch ME!? No one EVER touches me, you freak!” She shoved me back, sending me careening into the benches. While my shove had been more of a ‘back off’ shove, hers was filled with utter malice and contempt. My forehead smacked into the bench and my mind was filled with a flash of pain. Stars filled my vision and I struggled to find what way was up or down.

I could hear voices saying something around me but in my haze, I couldn’t make out anything they were saying. I thought I heard my name said a couple of times, but I was in no state to react. After a short while, I felt my consciousness leave me and I blacked out.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

My eyes were filled with a sea of grey. I tried to pull them open, but they felt like they were filled to the brim with lead. I eventually managed to pull them open only to find myself staring at an unfamiliar roof with a bright fluorescent light buzzing over me. My mind went over the last few minutes of my memory, recalling what had happened slowly. I finished class, went to get changed, got teased and then pushed over by Quartz… Then what? I remembered the pain, but nothing after that.

I let out a groan and saw a face appear over mine. Familiar purple hair fell down from her head and obscure the extremely artificial light that was blinding me before.

“Rainbow Dash?” The voice said. “Are you awake?”

I groaned again, trying to formulate a response, but my head was still swimming with dizziness.

“Nurse? I think she’s awake!” It said again and another face coming into my vision, this one with pink hair.

Suddenly, my eyelid was pried open and a light was shone into it, causing me to wake up further and realize just how much pain I was in.

“Ffffuck…” I complained, my head beginning to throb in pain with every pulse of my heart.

“Rainbow Dash, my name is Nurse Redheart.” She said. “Can you remember what happened to you?”

“Sharp Quartz…”

“Who’s that, hun?”

“A student… Pushed me over…”

She turned to the purple haired girl.

“Do you know who that is, Twilight? Unfortunately I don’t know the names of many of the students here.”

The purple haired girl who I now recognized as Twilight Sparkle turned to me with an extremely worried look on her face.

“I do.” She said grimly. “She’s made fun of another friend of mine before and got punished for it. She definitely hasn’t learned her lesson, it seems.”

“OK, can you fetch Principal Celestia for me? She needs to know what has happened as soon as possible.”

Twilight nodded before running off. With my head throbbing intensely, I tried to pull myself up but immediately, my head began to swim and I fell back down. Nurse Redheart saw what happened and ran to my side.

“Rainbow, you mustn’t get up right now. You probably have a concussion from your fall so please try to rest, but don’t let yourself fall asleep. It can be dangerous to go to sleep with a concussion.” She said, her voice caring but clinical.

I grunted in reply and lay my head down. I only realized when I tried to calm down that I had been tensing my muscles the whole time and let my muscles relax. I heard Nurse Redheart say something and her hands began to pull at my clothes, but I wasn’t paying attention enough to register what she had said. It was only when I felt my pants get pulled down that I realized something was happening.

“No! Argh…” I shouted, eliciting a painful throb from my headache.

“Rainbow, your pants have blood on them from the fall. I have to get them off so I can put you in a gown.” Before I could protest, she pulled them down fully. I tried to cover my privates with my hands, but I could tell I wasn’t doing a very good job as I heard a gasp from both her and another voice to my right. I glanced over to see that Twilight had only just re-entered the room as the nurse was pulling my pants off, giving them a full view of what I had down there.

Redheart composed herself and continued her work, pulling my pants off fully before moving to remove my shirt. She worked with an air of professionalism, but I could tell she had a million thoughts flowing through her head, like “why did the girl that was lying in front of
me have a penis.”

I covered my face with my hands as Twilight nervously excused herself before leaving.

Why did this happen to me? It's like the universe was out to get me. Did I do something to piss of some kind of cosmic entity and they now had a thousand year grudge against me? Cos it seemed like it.

From outside, I could hear some people arguing. It was extremely hard to hear exactly what they were saying, especially with the nurse causing a bit of noise on top. I heard my name said a couple of times, and I could definitely tell that one of the voices was Applejack. Mostly because she was bellowing out profanities targeted at Quartz and, sought of strangely, at Twilight as well.

I could almost assume that Twilight had confronted her about my gender. What else could be causing Applejack to anger so much?

All of a sudden, the door to the room was slammed open and Applejack rushed in, stopping by my side. Nurse Redheart stepped to her side and put a hand on her shoulder.

“Miss, I must ask you to leave.”

“Rainbow, can you hear me?” She ignored her. “I'm gonna get Quartz for this, just you wait. Ah’m gonna knock that prissy little whores teeth out!”

I groaned in protest, as I knew Nurse Redheart needed space to do her work, but was interrupted before I could say anything legible.

“Where is she?” Applejack shouted. “I'm gonna make sure she wished she was never born!”

I managed to reach out and grab hold of Applejacks arm, turning her attention to me and ceasing her tirade temporarily.

“Applejack, please… Don’t do anything to Quartz.” I mumbled out. “Let Redheart treat me. It really… Really hurts.”

“B-but… But what about… Rainbow, Quartz has crossed the lin-”

“Applejack, please!” I protested.

She looked around, trying to think of an excuse to object, but eventually she calmed down, closed her eyes and slowed her breathing.

“Thank you, AJ.”

“She's not getting away with this, girls.” Twilight said from behind Applejack. “There's no way any of the teachers can turn a blind eye to what Quartz has done.”

Applejack nodded with determination before looking back to me.

“Please, girls.” Nurse Redheart said. “I must treat Rainbow Dash.”

Applejack reluctantly nodded before turning away and heading out the room. I relaxed myself and laid back down fully. As my head hit the pillow, I saw Applejack appear above me and lean downward all of a sudden, pressing her lips against mine.

My mind was blank with shock. Applejack was kissing me. It was nothing fancy, but it was the most enrapturing experience of my life. The outside world disappeared for that brief moment before Applejack pulled away and ran out of the room.

I laid there in stunned silence as Nurse Redheart stared at me.

“Jeez, you kids…” She shook her head, smiling, before getting back to work.

-------------------------------------------------------------------


I lay in the recovery room, or the closest thing this school had to a recovery room, thinking over what had happened. Twilight had seen me. She knows what I am. A freak.

Will she tell them? Will she tell the truth to all my friends? On one hand, if she does tell them, I won't be lying to them about who I am anymore. On the other, I'd probably lose most of them. Applejack and Fluttershy knew. Rarity and Pinkie did not, but they probably would soon.

I knew what would happen. Half of them would support me, the other half wouldn't. Fluttershy and Applejack would be too stubborn to cut me off and I'd create a rift in their friendship. I would ruin this amazing group of friends all because of my selfishness.

I had to be the one to do it. I had to eject myself from this group or they would all suffer. I would have to say goodbye to Fluttershy. She was the only one besides Applejack who I knew supported me, and I had to tell her we couldn’t be friends.

Saying goodbye to Applejack would be the hardest. I knew she had romantic feelings for me and I most definitely had romantic feelings for her, but I needed to tell her why we couldn’t be together. My heart felt empty and sore at these feelings. It hurt so much to even imagine this stuff happening, but it hurt almost as much to imagine their friendship falling apart because of their conflicting opinions.

I eventually managed to fall asleep, my eyes full of tears, and my mind dreaming of home.

Author's Notes:

Hey everyone, sorry it's been a while! I've been preoccupied with other stories (mostly greentexts on ptfg) but I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Working on another chapter for my other story too, so look out for that coming soon-ish.

Chapter 4

I glanced nervously around the corner, checking for any staff or students walking by. The journey from the bed to the door had been strange, as I was still pretty dizzy from my “fall” before. My head had spun as I stood up, blood rushing to my head quickly. It had gone away quickly enough and now, I was getting ready to walk out.

“Just… Pretend you know where you’re going.” I muttered, trying to boost my confidence enough to step out into the hall and start walking. If Redheart or any of my friends saw me, then the jig would be up. Well, when I say friends, I mean soon-to-be-former friends.

I shook my head in frustration. I knew it was the right thing to do, and I wasn’t going to let myself convince me to not do it. It was the right thing to do.

When the coast was clear, I stepped out and began walking toward the doors of the building. My heart raced as I briskly walked closer and closer. As I reached the door, I held my hand out, ready to open it only for it to open up in front of me.

“Darling! You’re… Out of bed! What are you doing up, Twilight said that you had a concussion!” Rarity stood before me, her hair slightly frazzled and a look of worry on her face.

“Rares, you… You gotta-”

“Not another word, Rainbow. You need rest and time to recover. The girls have been worried sick about you!” She spun me around by the shoulders and began walking me back to my room.

“Rarity, please, I-”

“You know that Applejack was practically in tears, right? Never before have I seen that girl cry, but she was crying for you! Isn’t it just so romantic?” She sighed, still pushing me toward the room.

“Rarity, please listen to me.” I pleaded as she opened the door and lead me toward the bed.

“And Twilight! She was hysterical! She was trying to hide it, she always does, but she was furious. Practically fuming!

I knew why she was angry. She knew that I lied to all of them. All of my friends. She probably already told Pinkie and Rarity that I was a guy.

“Her eyes almost set alight when Applejack mentioned Sharp Quartz! She was trying to stop Applejack from outright trying to murder the girl, but I could swear she was fighting off the desire to join her.” Rarity giggled and sat down on the chair next to the bed. She was angry at… Quartz? Not me?

“So, what was it you would like to say? Sorry for interrupting you before, but it’s important you don’t hurt yourself.” She said, handing me a glass of water.

“Rarity… I… I can’t be friends with you anymore. I can’t be friends with any of you girls.”

‘Wh-what? Whatever do you mean, Rainbow?” She held her hand to her chest, clearly shocked at what I had said.

“I just… I don’t belong with you guys.”

“Nonsense! Just because you’re a different kind of person doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. Why, take me and Applejack as an example. I am a refined fashionista with impeccable dress sense, where Applejack prefers to focus much more on work and family life. We’re completely different, yet we are great friends, even if we might not show it some times.”

“Rarity, that’s… I’m different in a bigger way. Bigger than just personality, okay?”

“I’m not too sure I follow, darling.”

“Rarity, I’M A BOY!”

She sat, her face blank and her eyes unblinking. I only realized after standing in silence for a few seconds that I had thrown the glass onto the floor, shattering it and sending pieces of glass flying. My heart was racing, and my head filled with regret at what I had just done. The head of nurse Redheart peeked in the door and gasped after seeing the shattered glass.

“Oh dear, you two, don’t move. I’ll go get something to clean this up with.” She said and hurried away.

I turned back to Rarity, my eyes beginning to fill with tears at what I had done. My outburst could have hurt her.

“Rarity, I’m… I’m so sorry.”

She was still silent.

“I’m… Oh god.” I lay my head in my hands and let out the tears I had been holding in. I heard Rarity get up to leave only to feel an arm wrap itself around my shoulder.

I looked up only to see Rarity looking back at me with a warm, comforting smile on her face.

“R-Rarity, wh-what are you-”

“Shh…” She held me tighter. “You need to cry, Darling. Let yourself cry.”

I tried my hardest to hold back the tears, but eventually gave in and let them flow freely.

“Let it out.” Rarity held me tight and I leaned into her hug. I trying my hardest not to get tears on her dress, but it didn’t seem to stop her from getting soaked in my sadness.

“Rainbow, you have to listen to what I have to say, okay?”

I glanced up at her, her face betraying no malice or anger, only care. I nodded nervously.

“You are not a boy.”

“Wh-what? Didn’t you hear what I said?”

“I did, Rainbow, and you are not a boy.”

“Y-yes I am. I-I’m a f-filthy, stupid, u-ugly boy.”

“No, you are not. I know what you are, Rainbow. You’re a friend. You’re a pretty young girl who could go for a touch up and possibly some makeup lessons from one of your friends. Not going to toot my own horn or anything, but I happen to be great at doing makeup.”

“You… You’re serious? B-but I have… I was born as a guy, Rarity. I have boy bits, and a boy body.”

“No you don’t, Rainbow. You aren’t a girl in a boy's body, you are a girl. What bits you have doesn’t change that. You are a girl.”

“So you mean… You don’t… Hate me?” She almost looked offended at that.

“Me? Hate you? Heavens, no, Rainbow! Quite the opposite, really. You are an amazing friend that I am happy to know. Even if you are a little bit... Boisterous.” She laughed with a smile on her face.

“B-but… Did Twilight tell you?”

“She knows? Well, no she didn’t. You did. Just then, remember?”

“I did?”

“Yes. I honestly had no idea before, but I most certainly won’t treat you any different now. How did you tell Twilight?”

“Uh…” The events of earlier today replayed themselves in my mind. I was pushed over, hit my head, woke up here, then the nurse took off my bloody clothes and Twilight saw my…

“I didn’t exactly tell her… She saw me naked when the nurse had to take my clothes off.”

“Oh… I see. She didn’t seem angry, did she?”

“Uh, not exactly, but… I dunno, I just…”

“You thought she would hate you so you assumed the worst. Is that what all of that “I can’t be your friend anymore” nonsense was about?”

I nodded guiltily.

“Oh, Rainbow, you don’t give our Twilight enough credit! She assuredly doesn’t judge you, she knows a few trans people personally. I’m sure she was just shocked as she didn’t know it beforehand.”

“She… She knows other people like me…?”

“Of course! You know, It’s not as uncommon as you think it is. Why, I know a few myself through Carousel Boutique and I’m sure they would love to meet you, if you would like to meet them. I won’t reveal who they are for privacy’s sake, but I can ask them if they are willing to chat with you, if you like?”

Other people like me…? I… I’d never met anyone like me before. Would they be nice? How old were they? I felt like I did want to meet them, if only to talk to someone I could relate to, but… Maybe one of them would want to be my friend?

“I’d… I’d really like that, Rarity.”

“Splendid!” Rarity clapped her hands together happily. Not long afterward, the door swung open and Nurse Redheart walked in, followed by Twilight. I felt myself try to pull away as I saw her, my mind still fearful of her judging me, even if Rarity had said she wouldn’t.

“Rarity! What are you doing here?” Twilight looked between me and her in confusion.

“Well, after you ran off after Applejack to stop her from doing something she’d regret, I decided I would pay our friend a visit. Lucky I did arrive when I did, I believe my arrival stopped her from doing something that she, herself, would regret.”

“She? But… Oh! Oh yes, of course. I’m so sorry, Dash.” She looked at me with an apologetic smile.

“Now that you’re up, and Applejack has calmed down, I wanted to know if you wanted to see her. She’s been very anxious and I’ve had to stop her from rushing off to confront Quartz, but she’s relaxed now.”

My eyes lit up and the prospect of seeing Applejack again.

“Y-yes!” I shouted out before pursing my lips, realizing how loud I had been. “Uh, I mean, yes please. I really, really would like to see Applejack. Thank you.”

Twilight smiled before stepping out of the room. Redheart finished up with her sweep before heading off herself.

“Now, would you like me to stick around, dear?”

“Uh, I’d like to talk to AJ alone, if that’s fine.”

“Of course.” She smiled and stood up. “Me and Twilight will be nearby, just call if you need us.” She waved goodbye and stepped out.

I sat in silence and contemplation for a brief moment before the door opened again and Applejack walked in. I could immediately tell that something had happened. Her face was dirty and streaked with tears. She held her hands close to her chest, trying to hide the fact that her knuckles were bloody and covered in dirt.

“A-AJ!” I jumped up, only for blood to rush to my head once more and I was forced to sit down.

“S-sugarcube, Ah… Ah’m so sorry. Ah didn’t… Oh gosh.” She ran toward me and threw her trembling arms around me. I reciprocated the hug immediately and unsuccessfully tried to hold my tears back again as both she and I sobbed into each other.

After a short while, I regained my composure enough to talk to her properly.

“AJ… Oh god, what happened to you?”

“Ah…” She gritted her teeth and avoided eye contact. “Ah got real… Real angry.”

“You didn’t go after Quartz, did you?”

“No, but Ah really fuckin’ wanted to. That bitch deserves to rot in hell for hurting you, but… Ah didn’t. Twilight stopped me. Ah really should apologize to her for saying… Those things Ah said to her.”

“But… But your hands! Why are you bleeding?”

“Ah… Still had to take my anger out on something, and the brick wall just happened to be close by.”

“Oh, Applejack. Ya b-big dummy.” I smiled, wiping the tears that were still gradually collecting. “What about all the dirt?”

“Ah… May have fallen over trying to get away from Twi. Ah really… Really need to apologize to her.”

I pressed my forehead up against Applejack’s and hugged her close. She sobbed silently again as I held her as close as possible. She tried to kiss me, but she was still hysterical and she ended up just breaking down even more.

“Ah was so worried about you, Dash! Ah… Ah was so angry.”

“I know.” I hugged her tightly and brushed her hair with my fingers. “I’m okay now, AJ. She won’t hurt me again.”

“How do you know?” She said, a tinge of anger still in her breath. “Who’s to say she doesn’t get away with this?”

“Trust me, Applejack, She won’t.” A new voice spoke out from the doorway, causing both of us to spin around and see who had spoken. In the doorway stood a tall woman, with long, multi coloured hair. It almost seemed to sparkle and move in the light.

“Principal C-Celestia?” Applejack gawked and pulled herself away from my hug.

The principal laughed politely and glanced between Applejack and I.

“You needn’t pretend, Applejack. You are not in trouble, and I’m sure your girlfriend needs all of the love and affection she can get right now.”

AJ nervously reached out and held my hand before addressing the principal.

“What… What did you mean before?”

“That she wouldn’t get away with what she had done? I meant exactly that, Applejack. Before, she was only verbally abusing other students. I punished her time and time again, more than you might believe, but she still treated others with malice and disrespect. I know, as a Principal, I must remain neutral and allow everyone the chance to redeem themselves. Quartz has been given that chance time and time again. I punished you more severely only because I knew that you can change and have in the past.”

“R-right. Ah’m sorry for how Ah acted, Principal.”

“It’s quite alright. I know you have taken your punishment and learnt from your mistakes. Quartz, however… Has not. In light of what has happened, I can no longer allow Quartz to remain at Canterlot High. She will be expelled immediately and will not be allowed to further her education at this school.”

“Wait, for real?” I gawked. “You’re e-expelling her?”

“Yes. A person who physically harms another student is such a way can not be completely forgiven. She may change and learn from her mistakes in the future, but it is with deep regret that I must say she is not going to be doing that at CHS.”

A feeling of relief and guilt washed over me, both at the same time. On one hand, the person who had made my first week at Canterlot High hell was going to be expelled, but on the other hand, it wasmy fault. I had antagonized her, I had pushed her. Not only that, but I… I knew there was something left in her. That friendship she had with Applejack when they were younger couldn’t have been unfounded, right? She was friends with her in the first place, and that meant… There was still that inkling of kindness inside of her.

“P-principal… Please don’t expel her.”

Both Applejack and the Principal looked at me, clearly shocked at what I had said.

“Wh-what are you talking about, Sugarcube? She hurt you! She’s made your life, and mine, a living hell!”

Celestia nodded and approached me.

“Please tell me, Rainbow. Why would you like for her to remain at CHS?”

“Because… I believe that she can change.”

“Rainbow…” Applejack gripped my hand tighter.

“I… I know it might be hard, but I believe… Anyone can change. Applejack, for my whole life, I’ve hated who I was. I hated my body, I hated my… I hated my parts, and I hated myself. I wasn’t happy with myself, and to tell you the truth, I’m still not completely happy. But… I changed. I became… Me. All in a split second decision, I decided that I would be happy. If I didn’t do it then, I don’t think I would ever have done it. The decision she made, to push me… It was the exact same thing. A split second decision. In my case, it was the right thing to do. In hers, it wasn’t.”

Celestia nodded and looked down contemplatively. After a few seconds she looked back up.

“Rainbow, you must know this. I have no choice but to expel Sharp Quartz, but… I do agree. I believe she can change, as everyone has the ability to, but she has been unresponsive to any lessons on humility or friendship that I have tried to give her. I know that you can forgive her, and that show a lot of strength, but she has done something that needs to be punished regardless.”

I nodded in understanding.

“A-alright…”

“I can, however, let you talk to her, if that’s what you want.”

Talk to her? I wasn’t exactly sure if I wanted to confront her or talk with her, I just didn’t want what she did in a split second to ruin her life.

“Talk with her…? Uh… Maybe?”

“Rainbow.” AJ put a hand on my cheek. “Ah… Ah might not agree with forgiving her just yet, but Ah think you should talk to her. Maybe you can… talk some sense into her. Get her to realize her mistakes, ya know?”

“Yeah… Yeah, I’ll talk to her. I don’t want her to regret this for the rest of her life, I want her to forgive herself in the end. I think… I can help.”

Celestia nodded before walking toward the door before turning back to us.

“Thank you for being so understanding, Dash. You are very strong, and I am proud of you all for how you handled this situation. If you would come to my office tomorrow during first period, I will organize for you to talk with her then.” She smiled and exited, closing the door behind her.

“Rainbow, Ah’m so proud of you.” Applejack smiled with tears down her face.

“Proud? Of what?”

“You heard what Principal Celestia said. You’re so strong. So much stronger than… Me.”

“What are you talking about? You’re the strongest person I know!” I held on tightly to her hand, but she pulled away.

“No! I’m not, Rainbow! I get angry! All the time, and I just can’t stop it. No matter what, even the littlest thing sets me off. You heard what I was like! I punched a fuckin’ wall for fucks sake!”

I only realized after she was done that I had been inching away from her subconsciously.

“See? I can’t even act civilized around my fuckin’ girlfriend! God, Ah’m such a fuckup… Ah’m sorry, sugarcube, Ah didn’t mean to scare ya, Ah just… Oh god Ah’m so sorry.” She placed her face in her palms and sobbed again. I put my arm around her and held her close, letting her crying onto my clothes as I had cried on Rarity earlier.

“Applejack… You’re not a bad person. You know that, right?”

“Yes Ah am. Ah’m… Angry all the time.”

“Look, I’m not some sort of psychologist or anything, but even I can tell that you’re an amazing and strong person.”

“No I’m not.”

“Yes you are!” I gently angled her head toward me with a hand. “You might not see it, but you are strong. Do you think I’m strong?”

“O-of course Ah do! You’re the strongest person Ah know.”

“But I don’t think I’m strong.”

“B-but… Just because you don’t think you’re strong doesn’t mean… Oh. Dangit, Rainbow. You’re smarter than you let on.”

I grinned and pulled Applejack in for a kiss, forgetting about our problems in this brief moment of togetherness. Applejack tried to continue our kiss, but she began to laugh, her failed attempts to kiss me only causing her to laugh even more, and soon, we were rolling around on the bed together, laughing happily.

I smiled at her as she lay on top of me, her perfect face speckled with the most adorable freckles in the world. I pulled up a hand and poked her on the nose.

“Who’s a silly pony? You is.”

She rolled her eyes and kissed me. I began to let myself sink into the kiss before I heard a huge “BANG” come from the door. We both pulled ourselves up to a sitting position in a rush only to see Pinkie standing in the doorway with a huge, pastel coloured cannon, confetti and streamers now drifting slowly downward. In the blink of an eye, she was inches away from my face, and had a huge smile plastered on hers.

“I heard someone’s caught a nasty case of the grumpy bums!”

“Wh-who, m-me?” I stuttered out.

“Yep! You! And I know the perfect cure for a grumpy bum!”

“Oh boy, here we go…” Applejack sighed and blocked her ears. I was about to follow suit, but I was just a few milliseconds too late.

“SLEEPOVER PARTY!”

Chapter 5

Could I really do it? Could I really confront the girl who made both Applejacks and my life much harder than it already was without doing something rash? I needed to control myself. I breathed in and out, attempting to slow my heart rate, but it did nothing but let my mind think about her more.

In my mind, what she had done was worse than Applejack in every way. Yes, Applejack should not have hit her, but through all the mental torture that she put AJ through… she made her feel bad to be herself. Was that unforgivable?

No, breath, RD. You're here to talk to her and offer forgiveness. Not antagonize her further.

“Listen, I know you're set to go in there alone…” Twilight put a hand on my shoulder. “But all you need to do is call and I'll be right in there, okay?”

I smiled back at her and put a shaking hand onto hers.

“Th-Th-thanks, Twi.”

“You sound pretty nervous… You don't have to do it today if you don't want to, I'm sure that-”

“Twilight, please.” I mustered an attempted confident smile. “I'll be fine. I'll call if i need it, just like you said, but i have to do this. For… all of our sakes.”

I turned back to the door and without a second thought, pushed down on the handle and swung open the door.

Inside was Celestia, and in front of her, with a scowl on her face, was Sharp Quartz. I held my breath and stepped forward into the room, the air almost stinking of anger.

“I'm glad you came, Rainbow Dash.” Celestia said calmly and motioned toward a seat next to Quartz but still about a meter apart. I cautiously made my way forward and sat down.

“Quartz, I'm sure you have something to say to Rainbow Dash.”

She gritted her teeth and looked at her lap.

“I have nothing to say to that f-”

“Quartz.” Celestia calmly yet firmly interrupted. “Remember what we talked about?”

Quartz nodded and i could swear I saw a tear roll down her cheek, but she turned away.

“I-I'm not apologizing.”

“Quartz…” Celestia looked almost disappointed. “You can apologize to me, but not to her?”

Quartz froze before turning even further away from me. Celestia frowned and stood up. She walked to the door and opened it, standing at the threshold of her office.

“I'm keeping my promise, Quartz. Please keep yours. Be honest to her.” She smiled warmly and shut the door behind her, leaving us in the room alone together.

I sat silently and twiddle my thumbs as Quartz sat, just as quiet, next to me. I had to say something. Anything.

“A-are you okay?” What the hell, Dash.

Quartz let out a “tch” and folded her arms.

“Look, I know you might think I hate you… but to be honest, I don't. I wanna tell you a story, if you'll let me.”

She scoffed again and tightened the fold in her arms.

“Like I care.”

“I-I'm gonna take that as a go ahead. You know… when I was younger, I had a friend. His name was… you know what, it doesn't matter what his name was. Point is that we were great friends. One day, we were talking about some nerdy card game we were into. You know, one of those crappy fads that died out in a few months. Anyway, my friend told me that he got this super rare card and I was so… jealous of him. At the time, I didn't really know what jealousy was and I was too proud to admit to myself I was jealous, so I started… teasing him. He was just so proud of it, and I had nothing in comparison to his rare card.”

“So does this have a point?” Quartz looked to me with a scowl. “Or are you just trying to screw with me.”

“Give me time, it has a point. Anyway, my friend kept showing off his card so much that I started… spreading rumors about him. Absolutely horrible things. That he stole the card from the store. That it was a fake. That he hurt someone to get it. Half of the rumors conflicted each other, but it only took one rumor to spread for it to reach him. The next day, he came in and was… completely silent. He didn't talk to me for days and I had no idea if he knew it was me who spread the rumors or just was sad because of them. I felt so fucking horrible for what I did that… I went to him and told him everything. I begged and begged for his forgiveness and despite it all, he gave it to me. Turns out he did know it was me and was just shocked I would do something like that. He forgave me and we were best friends until i moved school.”

“So what, this some sort of sob story to try and make me feel bad for what I've done? To make me realize that I'm “worthy of forgiveness”?” Quartz scoffed angrily.

“it's not to make you feel bad, it's to tell you that behind pretty much everything, there's a reason. There's a reason why people act in particular ways. I was jealous.”

“So what do you think my reason is? Why can't I just do it because I want to?”

“Well, because I don't think you do it for no reason.”

“What if you're wrong?”

“Maybe I am. If I'm wrong, then what have I lost from this? Nothing. You know what your punishment is.”

Quartz looked away again and another tear dripped downward.

“Do you think… I hate you?”

Did I? Did I think Quartz hated me?

“I… don't know. Do you?”

There was a small pause before Quartz quietly muttered out a response.

“No.”

I smiled.

“Then why. There must be a reason. Did Applejack hurt you? Were you angry?”

“I was… wait, why am I telling you?”

“I don't know. Why not?”

Quartz said nothing

“Please, Quartz. I don't hate you either and I want to know. I want… to help.”

“I was… confused.”

“C-confused?” Now I was a bit confused.

“I'm sure Applejack t - told you, r-right? What happened when w-we were younger?”

My mind replayed Applejack telling me of her crush on Quartz and then what happened after she talked to Quartz about those feelings. I nodded and i saw more tears drip from her face.

“I… I didn't actually hate her. I was just… confused. And scared. Confused because I… I mean, up until then, I'd never heard of it. A girl liking another girl, I mean. In movies, I'd only seen guys with girls and girls with guys. The idea was… completely new to me.” She continued, her scowl shifting to a look of sorrow as she spoke. “I-I ran home and told my mum what happened. Almost immediately, she started… going on and on about how it was disgusting and wrong. I just… went along.”

“So why were you scared?”

“What?’

“You said you were confused and scared. What scared you?”

“I…” the tears began to flow faster and wiped her eyes, sniffling as her nose became clogged. “I was scared because… I liked her too.”

“Wh-what!?” My jaw dropped.

“You happy now? Go on, tell me how much of a hypocrite I am. Go on.”

“Quartz… I'm not gonna do that.”

She looked to me, teary eyed.

“Wh-why not? It's what I am… A stupid fucking hypocrite.”

“No, Quartz. You were… confused. Please, continue your story.”

She nodded nervously and blew her nose with a tissue.

“I am a hypocrite… I told my mum and she went off at Applejacks granny, telling her that she raised “trash” and all that kind of stuff. I just kinda… agreed with her. I didn't want to stop being friends with Applejack! She was one of the only friends I had, and now I'm being told I can't ever hang out with her again?”

I nodded, the pieces now slowly falling into place in my head.

“Dash… I'm so so sorry. I don't… deserve your forgiveness. I'm the worst thing to happen to you and this school, and It's a good thing I'm getting expelled.” She said as she wiped her eyes clear.

I put my arms around her and softly hugged her as she cried. She looked up when I did with an extremely confused look on her face.

“Wh-what’re you doing?”

“What does it look like?”

“I d-don’t… need…” She trailed off before the tears overtook her and she began sobbing again. I tried my hardest to not be awkward about the way that I was hugging her, because even though she had a reason for what she had done… she still hurt me. She still hurt Applejack.

“I’m so sorry!” She sobbed, burying her face into my shirt and crying harder, holding me tightly. My heart let out a pang of regret as to what I had done. If only I had acted differently, then Quartz wouldn’t have pushed me and she wouldn’t be being expelled.

“Quartz, no… I’m the one who should be s-sorry.”

“Wh-what?” She looked up at me.

“If I hadn’t pushed you, then you wouldn’t have pushed me back.”

“Rainbow Dash, I… I needed it. I needed you to push me. I… Being expelled is a good thing. It’s… a lesson I need to learn. I’m a h-horrible person and I want to change. I need to change. Th-thank you.”

“Y-you’re thanking me?”

“Thank you for showing me that I’m a terrible person.” She pulled away and began wiping her eyes.

“Quartz, no! I’m trying to show you that you’re not a terrible person.” I said and she stopped mid wipe. “The point of this was to… understand. To show you that I can understand why you acted the way you did, and to… try to be friends.”

“F-friends? What?” She looked at me, wide eyed.

“Yes. Friends. I mean, the others probably won’t forgive you completely just yet, and I’ll be honest with you, I don’t either. But that’s what you need. You need to work for forgiveness, and if you’re willing, I’m willing to be your friend and let you try.”

“Are you s-serious?” Her eyes were still wide, but were rimming with even more tears.

“Yes. I said it to Celestia before, I know that it’s hard to change, but I think everyone can. It might take a while… but I think that applies to you too.”

For the last time that day, Quartz broke down again and wrapped her arms around me. I knew that what I had said was true, I did believe she could change. The only thing was whether she would let herself accept that change and whether my other friends could ever accept her.

__________


After a short while, Quartz calmed down and stopped crying. We stood up together and I walked her to the door. As I opened it, I saw Principal Celestia and Twilight quietly chatting. Their conversation stopped as I opened the door and they both turned to see me, a smile on Celestia’s face when she saw the state of Quartz and I, and a look of shock on Twilights.

“I see that you talked about what I asked of you, Quartz?”

She nodded shakily and I smiled at Twilight and Celestia.

“D-Dash? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, Twi. Quartz and I just talked a bunch. I know that you might not believe her, and I’m sure both of us understand you if you don’t, but I believe that she’s ready to change. She’s gonna take her punishment and try her hardest to change. Right, Quartz?”

She nodded shakily again and averted her eyes.

“Twi, I offered for Quartz to be my friend.”

Twilight's jaw opened, but she quickly calmed herself and closed it.

“I-I’m proud of you, Dash.” She said, almost as softly as Celestia spoke. “You too, Quartz. I’m willing to be your friend too, if you like.”

Quartz looked between all of us in shock.

“Wh-why? Why are you all being so nice to me?”

“Because. I believe, just as Dash believes, that you can change.” She smiled warmly.

“Th-thank you. All of you.” Quartz smiled through her tears. Principal Celestia stepped forward and put a hand on Quartz’s shoulder.

“Quartz, I am so proud of your willingness to change, and so, I have decided to lighten your punishment. You will not be expelled from Canterlot High.” Quartz’s eyes opened wide. “Instead, you will be issued a task. If you can show me, through a written report given to me in three months time, as well as a confirmation from Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle, that you have made a conscious effort to change your ways, you will be allowed back to school.”

“A-are you s-serious?” Quartz stammered, dumbfounded at this turn of events.

“I am, Sharp Quartz. Until then, you will still be attending in school suspension, but I promise you that you will be able to resume classes after three months. You will also be on probation of sorts. If any word reaches me that you have been acting out again, you will be immediately expelled.”

Quartz nodded, almost scared of the Principal.

“I am glad. With that, I say again how proud I am that you have shown your willingness to change, and I am proud of you two as well.” She smiled at me and Twilight. “I can only hope that other students look back on this situation as a shining example of how to deal with situations like this.”

“Th-thank you Celestia.” I nodded to her. “I mean, thanks for everything. Like, I was really scared that I might have caused Quartz to g-get expelled.”

“That’s something that I hope you learn as well, Rainbow Dash. You need to stop blaming yourself. You put the weight of the world on your shoulders, but you must realize that you have strong friends and a wonderful partner who are there for you. The power of friendship is a wonderful thing. I trust that your new friend will learn this in the coming months as well.” She smiled towards Quartz and I before walking back to her office. “Oh yes, I might remind you that classes are still on. You might want to run along, Twilight.” Celestia winked before closing the door behind her.

__________


“You what!?” Applejack shouted and I cowered beneath her.

“I-I’m sorry, Applejack!” I shivered in fear and a look of regret passed across Applejacks face.

“Oh gosh, sugarcube. Ah’m sorry, Ah let anger get control of me again.” She opened up her arms and I hugged her, feeling the comforting warmth that her body let off. “Please, Ah… Ah’m real sorry, Ah just d-don’t understand. How? Why did you forgive her, let alone ask her to be a friend?”

“Because, AJ. She deserves a chance.” I said, my mind going back to what Quartz had said before.

“I was scared because… I liked her too.”

“She told me something when she was in that office with me. Something… that I think she should tell you herself, but the point is that she didn’t actually hate you. She was… confused. She just never had heard of two girls being together romantically, y’know? She told her mum, and she was the one who got angry at your granny.”

“Wh-what do ya mean?”

“Quartz just had the idea of people like us being “unnatural” drilled into her head by her mum. After what happened between you two, she kept telling her over and over how wrong it was. I know that you might not forgive her yet, and neither do I.”

“Then why are ya tryin’ to be her friend?”

“Because I believe that she should work for her forgiveness. If she earns it, then I can find it in myself to forgive her. Until then, she deserves the benefit of the doubt, if nothing more.”

“Gosh, Dash. You’re a stronger girl than me. Ah’d just go off at the bitc- uh… sorry. I’d have just gone off at her. But… Ah trust you. Ah l-love you, Dash. I think that… if you think she’s worth tryin’ for, then… so do I.” Applejack smiled nervously and pulled me close, kissing me lightly on the lips.

“Gosh, you two are so cute!” I swung my head to the side only to see a pink haired girl grinning at us from ear to ear.

“P-Pinkie!” Applejack shouted. “What’re you doin’, sneakin’ up on us like that?”

“Because! It’s time for the SLUMBER PARTY!” She screamed happily, pulling up a bag, filled to the brim with candy, chips, whipped cream cans, the works. “My mum’s gonna pick us up in ten minutes! Be ready!” She said as she darted back around the corner. Applejacks frown relaxed and she giggled as she turned back to me.

“Alright, you ready? Pinkie’s parties can be pretty insane.”

“I’m gonna be honest with you. No.”

__________


“Alright, girls it’s time for truth or dare!” Pinkie shouted and cleared the floor where we had been eating pizza.

“Pinkie, I don’t believe we should play such childish games.” Rarity protested. “Plus, we’ve already played it enough now that I believe you know all of my secrets.

“Yeah, but not Rainbow Dash’s!” She looked at me and I shrunk down.

“I-I don’t think she should have to play… if she doesn’t want to…” Fluttershy looked at me nervously.”

“So, whaddya say, Dashie?” Pinkie said.

“Uh…” I twiddled my thumbs as my friends looked on expectantly. “Sure…?”

“Yay!” Pinkie jumped, her hair almost poofing even further out as she jumped. “I’ll start first!”

Pinkie grabbed a bottle out of the infinite void that must be in her hair and she placed it in the centre of the room. She spun it quickly and it eventually stopped on Twilight, causing her to groan in dissatisfaction.

“Yay! Twilight’s first! So, truth or dare.”

“...Truth.” She muttered.

“Who do you have a crush on!”

“Wh-what!?” Twilight's cheeks turned a shade of red. “I-I-I…”

“Oh please, Pinkie.” Rarity interrupted with a roll of her eyes. “We all already know that she has a crush on Flash Sentry.” Rarity leered at her with a smug grin on her face.

“What!?” Twilight looked almost offended. “Flash Sentry? Are you kidding me? No, I… I have a crush on…” She mumbled and trailed off.

“Loudeeer~~~!” Pinkie cheered.

“Fine. I have a crush on P-Principal Celestia.”

“Woah!” Pinkie smiled even wider. “Twilight! She’s like, twenty three! And a teacher!”

“And a girl!” Applejack said. “Twi, you never told us you were gay too.”

“I-I’m not!” She blushed. “I l-like girls and guys…”

“Ooooh.” Pinkie smiled. “That makes sense. Twilight, your turn! Spin the bottle!”

She nervously reached forward and spun it again, this time pointing to Fluttershy, who hid behind her hands as it landed on her.

“So, Fluttershy.” Twilight grinned. “Truth or dare?”

“T-t-truth…”

“Have you ever… gone to the toilet outside?”

“Twilight!” Rarity scowled. “I’m shocked!”

She shrugged and smiled nervously.

“Go ahead, Fluttershy!” Pinkie grinned at her. “You gotta answer truthfully! It’s the rules!”

“W-well… One time, I w-was walking s-some of the d-d-dogs at the park and I r-r-really needed to use the b-bathroom… So I went b-behind a t-t-t-tree…”

Applejack slapped her knee and laughed loudly.

“Ahaha! That’s enough, Shy. Ya did well, girl.”

Fluttershy smiled nervously up at Applejack and spun the bottle again. It slowed to a stop, this time, pointing at… me.

“Dare!” I shouted out immediately.

“Finally, some real fun!” Pinkie said enthusiastically.

“Uh…” Fluttershy trailed off quietly. “I d-dare you to… drink a litre of soda in one minute.”

“Oh, come on!” I said, cock sure of myself. “I want a real challenge.”

“Okay then… I dare you to drink a litre of soda in thirty seconds… While Applejack tickles you.”

I froze, my skin turning to ice. No. Anything but that.

“Oh, Ah think Ah can do that.” Applejack grinned at me. I looked to her with pleading eyes and shook my head, but she just shrugged and wiggled her fingers at me. I gulped loudly and picked up the soda bottle, shaking as I unscrewed the top. I brought the bottle to my lips and Pinkie started a countdown.

“On go. Three…”

I shook as i held the bottle.

“Two…”

Applejack giggled as she flexed her fingers and wiggled her eyebrows up and down.

“One…”

I closed my eyes and breathed out.

“GO!”

I pulled the bottle upward and felt both as the bubbly liquid went down my throat and Applejacks fingers began poking at my sides. I immediately felt my chest heave as I involuntarily giggled, the soda still quickly being gulped down. My eyes watered as I drank, my other arm trying to push Applejacks hands away and failing. I couldn’t take it. I pulled the bottle of drink away, but it was too late. I breathed in and shot soda from my nose, absolutely soaking Applejack who just continued to tickle me.

“Ahahaha! P-p-please! Aha! S-stop, AJ! Stop!” I laughed uncontrollably, Applejack giggling along at the sight of me laughing. She eventually stopped and my laughing died down, only for me to groan after realizing that I had lost.

“Awww! I never lose!” I complained, looking down at my soaking girlfriend.

“You lost, Dashie!” Pinkie shouted. “Now you have to take another dare!”

“Wh-what!? No fair!”

“Them’s the rules, Dash.” Applejack grinned sideways at me and I shot her a scowl.

“Fine. What’s your next dare.” I folded my arms grumpily.

“Uh, I think… Pinkie should do it, I don’t want to g-give you another d-dare.”

“Okay! I dare you…” Pinkie scratched her chin in contemplation before her eyes lighting up. “I dare you to spend ten minutes of heaven in the closet with Applejack!”

Applejack frowned at her.

“Pinkie, no. First of all, we kiss all the time. Second of all, I don’t want to do anything Dash wouldn’t want to do.”

“I-I think it’s a good dare.” I said quietly and Applejack spun toward me.

“Dash!”

“Nope!” Pinkie Pie interrupted. “She agreed to the dare! Now you have to do it.”

“This is so uncouth.” Rarity scoffed before smiling widely. “I love it!”

“Really, guys? Fine.” Applejack stood up, grabbing me by the hand. She dragged me in the closet and I turned around to see the smiling faces of my four friends looking back at me. I winked at them before Applejack pulled me into the closet and closed the door loudly.

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