Canterlot Crashers

by Orcus

Chapter 1: Holding Out For a Hero

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Luna, a grimace of utter frustration painted upon her face, continued to slam herself against the steel bars of the cage. The prison she was held in resembled a domed birdcage, and the metal it was made of was pure, meteoric iron; a rare material that completely nullified the use of magic.

"Luna... it's no use..." Celestia spoke, from another cage that rested nearby. "You're just going to hurt yourself if you keep it up."

"It's better than doing nothing!" the Princess of the Night shouted to her sister, her lip curled into a snarl of defiance. "I'm not going to sit here and let Sablewing... that scaly wretch... simply win!"

Both of them were being held in their throneroom, since, apparently, their captor had an ironic sense of humor. The doors to the room suddenly opened, and Sablewing himself entered, stalking toward the captured sisters, his orange, reptilian eyes focused on them, while his black-and-purple cape dragged behind.

Sablewing the Wicked was a black-scaled dragon, and too late did Celestia, Luna, or all of Canterlot for that matter, find out that he was immune to magic. Whether it was from a charm, a talisman, being born with it, none of them knew.

"What do you want now, Sablewing?" Luna asked, when the dragon was close enough.

"I just wanted to stop by to inform you that I've captured your only hope of escape," he replied in a rather civil tone, his deep voice itself as smooth and cold as the finest iceberry wine money could buy. "The two, last princesses in Equestria, as a matter of fact. Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, and Princess Twilight Spa-"

"You're bluffing!" Celestia interrupted with a shout, in disbelief.

"Am I..." the dragon cackled, before snapping his fingers. On cue, a pair of kobolds; small, upright, dragon-like creatures around the size of your average pony, came into the room, each pushing a cart that contained a slightly smaller version of the cages Celestia and Luna were in. Inside of one was Princess Cadence, who lied still, most likely knocked unconscious by something, and in the other was Celestia's prized student, Twilight Sparkle.

"Princess Celestia... I'm so sorry..." Twilight apologized, her face and tone both at their most forlorn that Celestia had ever seen it. "We thought we could swoop in and get you two out, but... Sablewing was craftier than I thought. He had monsters and traps everywhere! Cadence and I..."

"Don't be," Celestia replied to her student, attempting to smile comfortingly. "We were defeated in the same way. I have faith that your friends will find a way to help."

With another snap of his fingers, Sablewing's minions brought both Twilight and Cadence out of the room, and another figure entered as they left. It was an enormous, hulking diamond dog, with a just-as-big wooden club made of a raw tree trunk sheathed behind his back, and the floor trembled with every step he took. His body looked shaggy, with unkempt, dirty hair littered all over it. Over his head, and concealing his eyes was a horned helmet, while his large mouth below contained four, long canines protruding from his lower jaw.

"They shall be brought to their jailers, my lord," the dog spoke to Sablewing. "Does this mean that we... won?"

"Yes it does Killer, and as per our agreement, you may take Luna," the dragon said in a matter-of-fact tone, motioning to the Princess of the Night with his claw. "Consider it a reward for a job well done on your part."

"Yes!" Killer smiled with his crooked fangs, as he ran up to Luna's cage, grabbed the handle at its top, and lifted it from the ground.

"Sister!" Luna cried out, as her cage began to move away from Celestia's. Celestia attempted to grab onto her sister's hoof, but the bars prevented her from even getting close to touching it. Killer brought Luna up to his face and looked into her eyes.

"Now I'll never have to howl at that stupid moon of yours again!" Killer roared to the dark-furred alicorn. "You're my prisoner Luna! Hahaha!"

As Killer was about to depart from the throneroom with his new prize, Sablewing spoke up, raising a clawed finger as he spoke.

"Oh, and before you leave, tell the soldiers that you and them can pillage the surrounding land to your heart's content," he added. "Just make sure you don't kill too many ponies. We still need that slave labor, you know."

"Hehehe... of course, my lord..." the diamond dog chuckled evilly, as he nodded to his master. Refocusing on the hall ahead of him, Killer walked out of the room, Princess Luna in paw, as Sablewing looked back at the grimacing Celestia.

"If you do this, the sun will never set, and the moon will never come out," Celestia said. "This land will become enveloped in a never-ending day!"

"I fail to see the problem with that," Sablewing grinned, speaking in an uninterested voice, as he straightened his cape out in the snobby manner you'd expect a high-ranking noble to do.

"Twilight Sparkle's friends will come," the alicorn spoke, with a frown and arched brow of pure anger. "And if not them, then somepony else. And they will stop you, Sablewing, heed my words, and heed them well."

"Really?" the drake smirked, his orange eyes rolling sarcastically, as he slowly walked up to Celestia, savoring this most palpable moment. He only opened his mouth again once he was close enough for his looming shadow to be cast over the princess.

"If so stoppable I am... then what kind of fools do you think will come to help you?"

"This is bogus," Green Knight complained as he threw his book, Alchemy for Dummies, away, the paper making a "fwip" noise as it sailed through the air, and bounced off of the bee-like alien head mounted on the nearby wall of the house.

"I'm going to ignore the fact that you just used the word "bogus,"" Blue Knight moaned, as he turned over on his back from where he laid sideways on the bed. "Why'd you even use the word?"

"Because I'm bored," he replied. "It's been a month since we killed something worth killing, and nobody's decided to attack the castle. We really need more enemies."

"Wanna spar, like what Red and Orange are doing?" he inquired, looking to the weapons rack on the wall nearby with a thoughtful expression. Green shook his head.

"No," he replied. "Last time we did that, we had to clean up the mess we left behind, and I'm most certainly not in the mood for that."

"Oh..." Blue whined.

Before he could ask a another question, part of the roof suddenly exploded, as an orange shape barreled in, slamming into some of the furniture, and sending splinters everywhere.

"Gah! What the?!" Blue shrieked when he heard the noise, as the shape slowly stood up. It was Orange. He raised a fist into the air, and let loose a booming cheer as Blue and Green were still recovering from what they just saw.

"The catapult launch was a success!" he cried to himself, moments before the red figure of Red burst into the room.

"Success? Hah! Yes!" Red replied, as he ran up his friend. They both unleashed flying chest-bumps upon each other, still caught up in the vigor the moment provided.

"We need to do that again!" Orange shouted, as he brushed the last of the dust off of himself.

"It's my turn next, right?" Red asked, as he clenched his armored fists, and bounced up-and-down on the balls of his heels excitedly.

"You bet it is, bud," Orange said back, patting him on his helmet. "But remember, I get to choose where to shoot you!"

"Guys! What the actual hell?!" Green screamed before they could run off, motioning to the hole in the roof, and the totaled furniture. "Look at the mess you made! No more catapulting for you until you clean this up!"

"Pff. You're not our mom! You can't tell us what to do!" Orange said back, folding his arms, his tone as childishly arrogant as it typically was.

"I'm not going to ask again," Green responded in a much more quiet, and forbidding voice, his form slowly becoming enveloped by a noxious green haze. "Clean. This. UP."

"Make me..." Orange replied, as he slowly walked up to his comrade, his own body glowing the color of a brilliant flame, as wisps of the blaze began to poke out from his hands.

"Um... guys?" Blue spoke anxiously, as he tapped Orange on the shoulder, putting his self-inferno out. Both took their eyes off of each other, and looked at Blue.

"What now?" Orange and Green asked simultaneously.

"That," he calmly replied, pointing to the corner of the room. All four of them looked to it, and saw a strange anomaly taking place.

There appeared to be a purple-ish vortex of some sort forming where he pointed. It seemed to be getting bigger by the second, and had a bright, white glow coming from the center.

"What is that?" Red inquired, walking up to it until he got pulled back by the others before he could do something stupid.

The rapidly swirling and growing, purple-and-blue mass only expanded more, sending out a powerful draft of pure magic that wafted throughout the entirety of the room, scattering paper and scraps of whatever else into the air.

"What in the king's overtly-righteous beard is that?" Blue asked, as well.

"It looks like a... portal of some sort," Green replied.

The portal only stayed swirling where it was, doing nothing else the entire time. It was almost as if it was practically beckoning them to enter. Each of the knights looked to one another with unsure expressions.

"You know, if it really is a portal, it could lead somewhere full of giant velvet worm-monsters with acidic booger-spit that could melt the flesh from your bones," Blue started. "Or possibly someplace full of bone-crunching, steroid-infused giants and demonic spiders with poisonous stingers on their heads."

He traded a wary glance with the other three, before joining in on the devious smiling they began to show.

"LET'S DO IT!" they all shouted in unison. Hollering like a bunch of psychotic hooligans, the four grabbed their assorted weapons and shields from the rack on the wall, and leaped, head-first, into the portal, which promptly closed behind them when they were fully through, disappearing into thin air. All the paper that had been sent flying by the vortex went limp, and drifted to the ground. Soon, everything was still.

The door suddenly burst open, and Pink Knight barged in, the usual overly-optimistic smile on his kiss-covered, helmeted face.

"Guys! I'm home!" Pink shouted in his fabulous voice. "Are we ready to- guys?"

He looked around, but all that stood in the room was the usual junk, weapons, assorted trophies, and a hole in the roof he could swear he never saw before. After seeing nobody was here, and shrugging, the pink-armored warrior of virtue simply closed the door and left.

Next Chapter: Help, I'm Stepping Into the Comfort Zone Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours
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