Canterlot Crashers

by Orcus

First published 9th of December, 2015

An evil dragon warlord takes over Canterlot, and has kidnapped all four of the princesses! Out of options, the remaining mane five summon the only warriors capable of setting things right once more, even if their means to do so are extremely violent.

Sablewing the Wicked, a black-hearted dragon with an immunity to magic, invades Canterlot with his army of diamond dogs, goblins, and kobolds. As they attempt to defend their kingdom, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are captured and imprisoned by the foul reptile, and he proceeds to take over the entire city. A rescue attempt made by Princess Cadence and Twilight Sparkle is then performed, and immediately thwarted, resulting in their capture as well.

Having used the Elements of Harmony to save the Tree of Harmony recently, and being one pony short of using them anyhow, Twilight Sparkle's friends find themselves in the worst predicament imaginable. After raiding the library in the Castle of the Two Sisters in search of an answer to their problem, they happen upon, and then proceed to use a spell that shoots out into the multiverse in search of brave, suitable heroes to combat this monster.

Answering the call, four strange characters come forth: The Green Knight, Orange Knight, Red Knight, and Blue Knight; each powerful warriors in their own separate rights, who have honed their expertise in the field of beating the ever-living crap out of anything that has the sheer balls to simply be standing in their way.

Having been bored out of their minds in their home dimension (and being threatened that they would never return should they decide not to help), the four knights jump to the challenge to RIP AND TEAR and rescue some more princesses. They set off, weapons and sandwiches in hand, to kick some monster butt, crash some castles, and take names as violently as physically possible!

...Oh, and a certain mailmare with strabismus joins along on the mad adventure.

Rated T for scenes of gore, swearing, and an overdose of testosterone poisoning

Featured!

Holding Out For a Hero

Luna, a grimace of utter frustration painted upon her face, continued to slam herself against the steel bars of the cage. The prison she was held in resembled a domed birdcage, and the metal it was made of was pure, meteoric iron; a rare material that completely nullified the use of magic.

"Luna... it's no use..." Celestia spoke, from another cage that rested nearby. "You're just going to hurt yourself if you keep it up."

"It's better than doing nothing!" the Princess of the Night shouted to her sister, her lip curled into a snarl of defiance. "I'm not going to sit here and let Sablewing... that scaly wretch... simply win!"

Both of them were being held in their throneroom, since, apparently, their captor had an ironic sense of humor. The doors to the room suddenly opened, and Sablewing himself entered, stalking toward the captured sisters, his orange, reptilian eyes focused on them, while his black-and-purple cape dragged behind.

Sablewing the Wicked was a black-scaled dragon, and too late did Celestia, Luna, or all of Canterlot for that matter, find out that he was immune to magic. Whether it was from a charm, a talisman, being born with it, none of them knew.

"What do you want now, Sablewing?" Luna asked, when the dragon was close enough.

"I just wanted to stop by to inform you that I've captured your only hope of escape," he replied in a rather civil tone, his deep voice itself as smooth and cold as the finest iceberry wine money could buy. "The two, last princesses in Equestria, as a matter of fact. Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, and Princess Twilight Spa-"

"You're bluffing!" Celestia interrupted with a shout, in disbelief.

"Am I..." the dragon cackled, before snapping his fingers. On cue, a pair of kobolds; small, upright, dragon-like creatures around the size of your average pony, came into the room, each pushing a cart that contained a slightly smaller version of the cages Celestia and Luna were in. Inside of one was Princess Cadence, who lied still, most likely knocked unconscious by something, and in the other was Celestia's prized student, Twilight Sparkle.

"Princess Celestia... I'm so sorry..." Twilight apologized, her face and tone both at their most forlorn that Celestia had ever seen it. "We thought we could swoop in and get you two out, but... Sablewing was craftier than I thought. He had monsters and traps everywhere! Cadence and I..."

"Don't be," Celestia replied to her student, attempting to smile comfortingly. "We were defeated in the same way. I have faith that your friends will find a way to help."

With another snap of his fingers, Sablewing's minions brought both Twilight and Cadence out of the room, and another figure entered as they left. It was an enormous, hulking diamond dog, with a just-as-big wooden club made of a raw tree trunk sheathed behind his back, and the floor trembled with every step he took. His body looked shaggy, with unkempt, dirty hair littered all over it. Over his head, and concealing his eyes was a horned helmet, while his large mouth below contained four, long canines protruding from his lower jaw.

"They shall be brought to their jailers, my lord," the dog spoke to Sablewing. "Does this mean that we... won?"

"Yes it does Killer, and as per our agreement, you may take Luna," the dragon said in a matter-of-fact tone, motioning to the Princess of the Night with his claw. "Consider it a reward for a job well done on your part."

"Yes!" Killer smiled with his crooked fangs, as he ran up to Luna's cage, grabbed the handle at its top, and lifted it from the ground.

"Sister!" Luna cried out, as her cage began to move away from Celestia's. Celestia attempted to grab onto her sister's hoof, but the bars prevented her from even getting close to touching it. Killer brought Luna up to his face and looked into her eyes.

"Now I'll never have to howl at that stupid moon of yours again!" Killer roared to the dark-furred alicorn. "You're my prisoner Luna! Hahaha!"

As Killer was about to depart from the throneroom with his new prize, Sablewing spoke up, raising a clawed finger as he spoke.

"Oh, and before you leave, tell the soldiers that you and them can pillage the surrounding land to your heart's content," he added. "Just make sure you don't kill too many ponies. We still need that slave labor, you know."

"Hehehe... of course, my lord..." the diamond dog chuckled evilly, as he nodded to his master. Refocusing on the hall ahead of him, Killer walked out of the room, Princess Luna in paw, as Sablewing looked back at the grimacing Celestia.

"If you do this, the sun will never set, and the moon will never come out," Celestia said. "This land will become enveloped in a never-ending day!"

"I fail to see the problem with that," Sablewing grinned, speaking in an uninterested voice, as he straightened his cape out in the snobby manner you'd expect a high-ranking noble to do.

"Twilight Sparkle's friends will come," the alicorn spoke, with a frown and arched brow of pure anger. "And if not them, then somepony else. And they will stop you, Sablewing, heed my words, and heed them well."

"Really?" the drake smirked, his orange eyes rolling sarcastically, as he slowly walked up to Celestia, savoring this most palpable moment. He only opened his mouth again once he was close enough for his looming shadow to be cast over the princess.

"If so stoppable I am... then what kind of fools do you think will come to help you?"

"This is bogus," Green Knight complained as he threw his book, Alchemy for Dummies, away, the paper making a "fwip" noise as it sailed through the air, and bounced off of the bee-like alien head mounted on the nearby wall of the house.

"I'm going to ignore the fact that you just used the word "bogus,"" Blue Knight moaned, as he turned over on his back from where he laid sideways on the bed. "Why'd you even use the word?"

"Because I'm bored," he replied. "It's been a month since we killed something worth killing, and nobody's decided to attack the castle. We really need more enemies."

"Wanna spar, like what Red and Orange are doing?" he inquired, looking to the weapons rack on the wall nearby with a thoughtful expression. Green shook his head.

"No," he replied. "Last time we did that, we had to clean up the mess we left behind, and I'm most certainly not in the mood for that."

"Oh..." Blue whined.

Before he could ask a another question, part of the roof suddenly exploded, as an orange shape barreled in, slamming into some of the furniture, and sending splinters everywhere.

"Gah! What the?!" Blue shrieked when he heard the noise, as the shape slowly stood up. It was Orange. He raised a fist into the air, and let loose a booming cheer as Blue and Green were still recovering from what they just saw.

"The catapult launch was a success!" he cried to himself, moments before the red figure of Red burst into the room.

"Success? Hah! Yes!" Red replied, as he ran up his friend. They both unleashed flying chest-bumps upon each other, still caught up in the vigor the moment provided.

"We need to do that again!" Orange shouted, as he brushed the last of the dust off of himself.

"It's my turn next, right?" Red asked, as he clenched his armored fists, and bounced up-and-down on the balls of his heels excitedly.

"You bet it is, bud," Orange said back, patting him on his helmet. "But remember, I get to choose where to shoot you!"

"Guys! What the actual hell?!" Green screamed before they could run off, motioning to the hole in the roof, and the totaled furniture. "Look at the mess you made! No more catapulting for you until you clean this up!"

"Pff. You're not our mom! You can't tell us what to do!" Orange said back, folding his arms, his tone as childishly arrogant as it typically was.

"I'm not going to ask again," Green responded in a much more quiet, and forbidding voice, his form slowly becoming enveloped by a noxious green haze. "Clean. This. UP."

"Make me..." Orange replied, as he slowly walked up to his comrade, his own body glowing the color of a brilliant flame, as wisps of the blaze began to poke out from his hands.

"Um... guys?" Blue spoke anxiously, as he tapped Orange on the shoulder, putting his self-inferno out. Both took their eyes off of each other, and looked at Blue.

"What now?" Orange and Green asked simultaneously.

"That," he calmly replied, pointing to the corner of the room. All four of them looked to it, and saw a strange anomaly taking place.

There appeared to be a purple-ish vortex of some sort forming where he pointed. It seemed to be getting bigger by the second, and had a bright, white glow coming from the center.

"What is that?" Red inquired, walking up to it until he got pulled back by the others before he could do something stupid.

The rapidly swirling and growing, purple-and-blue mass only expanded more, sending out a powerful draft of pure magic that wafted throughout the entirety of the room, scattering paper and scraps of whatever else into the air.

"What in the king's overtly-righteous beard is that?" Blue asked, as well.

"It looks like a... portal of some sort," Green replied.

The portal only stayed swirling where it was, doing nothing else the entire time. It was almost as if it was practically beckoning them to enter. Each of the knights looked to one another with unsure expressions.

"You know, if it really is a portal, it could lead somewhere full of giant velvet worm-monsters with acidic booger-spit that could melt the flesh from your bones," Blue started. "Or possibly someplace full of bone-crunching, steroid-infused giants and demonic spiders with poisonous stingers on their heads."

He traded a wary glance with the other three, before joining in on the devious smiling they began to show.

"LET'S DO IT!" they all shouted in unison. Hollering like a bunch of psychotic hooligans, the four grabbed their assorted weapons and shields from the rack on the wall, and leaped, head-first, into the portal, which promptly closed behind them when they were fully through, disappearing into thin air. All the paper that had been sent flying by the vortex went limp, and drifted to the ground. Soon, everything was still.

The door suddenly burst open, and Pink Knight barged in, the usual overly-optimistic smile on his kiss-covered, helmeted face.

"Guys! I'm home!" Pink shouted in his fabulous voice. "Are we ready to- guys?"

He looked around, but all that stood in the room was the usual junk, weapons, assorted trophies, and a hole in the roof he could swear he never saw before. After seeing nobody was here, and shrugging, the pink-armored warrior of virtue simply closed the door and left.

Help, I'm Stepping Into the Comfort Zone

"Nothing's happening, nothing's happening, nothing's happening!" Pinkie Pie shouted, as she bounced up and down nervously on the stony ground, panic filling her voice. "Rarity, I thought you said you cast the spell! Did it work?"

"It went off like it said it would... I just... I don't know!" the white-furred unicorn replied as she flipped through the ancient, dust-coated book she held in the air with her magic. "I'm not Twilight! I don't use abnormally complex spells like these!"

"You must find out," a brown-furred, but heavily bruised royal earth pony guard, wearing battered, battle-worn gold armor, spoke up. "The fate of the princesses rests on it!"

"You don't think I don't know that?!" Rarity hissed back.

"I think everypony should just calm down," Fluttershy started, in her kind, fragile voice. "The spell probably takes some time to go into effect, that's all. And you tried your hardest Rarity, so please don't blame yourself if something went wrong. I mean... if that's okay with you..."

"I'd reckon you're right, sugarcube," Applejack agreed. "Rarity, we've never seen a spell like this before. Odds are, we probably don't know how long it'll take to... well, finish."

"We don't have time for that, though!" Rainbow Dash argued, as she hovered in the air nearby with her wings. "We have no idea where that dragon's going to strike next!"

The ponies were inside of the library belonging to the ruins of the Castle of the Two sisters. After a quick, but thorough search through Twilight's library at her tree house, they found nothing that could help them, and so, out of options, came here in an attempt to find a solution.

The several royal guards whom accompanied them were the only remaining soldiers from Canterlot to resist being captured by Sablewing's forces. After meeting up with Twilight's friends, they all traveled to the old castle. Only one of the guards was in the library with the former element-bearers, and and the others were keeping watch outside.

With haste, Rarity began to flip at a faster pace through the book, desperate to find anything worth reading. Rainbow Dash gave another impatient huff.

"Well, Rarity? You know what's happening yet?"

"For the last time, Rainbow..." Rarity began, taking in a deep breath for what she was about to say next, not noticing the portal forming a few feet over her head. "I DON'T KNO-"

She let out a yelp of surprise as four, armored, multicolored shapes fell from the portal, and landed right behind her with a clatter of metal, creating a pile. Rarity jumped back, and looked with the others at them, as one of the knight-esque, non-pony figures sat up.

"Ugh... where are we?" Blue wondered aloud, as he rubbed his helmeted head. His head spun around as he noticed his surroundings.

"I don't know," Green replied, as he began to sit up as well, followed by the other two. "But for some reason, I just got a sudden craving for sugar, cupcakes, and marshmallows."

"Oh, look," Red said, as he became the first to notice the several equine creatures that stood before them. "Horses."

"I'm sorry," the guard spoke up, stepping forward to them. "We're not horses, we're ponies."

"Gah!" Red shrieked in apparent surprise, disgust, and horror, as he pointed an accusing finger at the guard. "It speaks!"

"Well, of course I speak. Why wouldn't I?" he replied. His response was met with a punch to the face by Red, using enough force that the blow sent the stallion flying to the other end of the room, where he slammed into a wall, and landed on the ground.

"Die, aberration!" Red shouted, as he picked his mace up, became enveloped in a nimbus of pure electricity, and charged toward the downed guard, flinging himself forward once within range. "Die! Die! Die!"

Acting fast, Rarity used her magic to catch Red as he sailed through the air, moments before he could do any harm, suspending him in a telekinetic bubble.

"Hey! What gives?" Red cried out, now held in an immobile state above the ground, bearing a confused look as his eyes searched for the reason he was hanging there. Blue, Orange, and Green, each not as bloodthirsty and quick on the trigger as their comrade, simply stood in silence as they observed the ponies. The quiet that came between them didn't last, as Green spoke up.

"Assuming the rest of you can talk, and are as sentient as the one over there, you'll have to excuse Red," he started. "He hasn't stuck his thumbs into the eye sockets of anything for a while, and he's been dying to kill something for the last month. In other words, he's a bit too... easily excited."

"Rarity... please tell me these aren't the guys that the spell said would help us..." Rainbow Dash whispered to the white unicorn. With an unsure sigh for a response, Rarity slowly brought Red back to where the other three knights were, and dropped him in front of them.

"Listen," she began, taking a step forward. "I used a spell that transported whoever you four are from your dimension, to here. You have to help us with something."

"You've really gotta help us!" Pinkie continued. "There's an evil dragon that took over Canterlot, and he's got an army of-"

"No, I want answers," Green rudely interrupted before any of the could hear the full story. "Just who in the name of the king's castle are you all?"

"I'm Pinkie Pie," Pinkie started in a joyful voice, before gesturing to every other pony in the room when she said their names. "That's Rarity, that's Rainbow Dash, that's Fluttershy, that's Applejack, and that was a Canterlot guard your red guy hit against the wall."

"My friends call me Orange," Orange began, in a friendly manner. "This is Green, that's Blue, and that nutjob is Red."

"So... now that we have the pleasantries out of the way, now you can explain what's going on," Blue spoke, as he let the bladed tip of his sword tap against the ground.

"Where do we begin?" Applejack said. "For starters, an evil dragon named Sablewing the Wicked sprang a surprise attack with his army of monsters on our land's capitol, Canterlot, and our four princesses of the land, one being our friend, Twilight Sparkle, tried to defend it."

"Ooh. Princesses," Red whispered to his friends, his elbow bumping against Orange, faintly, but obviously intrigued.

"Anyways, due to that varmint Sablewing having a mind as sharp, long, and deadly as his claws, they've all been captured, and we have no idea how to get them back," the earth pony went on. "Without them, Ah'd be willing to bet my tail that Sablewing will take over all of Equestria in no time. In other words, you may very well be our only hope, as of now."

"Yeah, screw that," Blue blatantly refused, in an arrogant laugh. "Even if we get the chance to fight some monsters and save a few princesses, I... err... we have no reason to work with..."

He looked at each of the ponies in the room before finishing.

"...A group of talking, pastel-colored things that I'm having a hard time believing are "ponies." Why should we sully our hands doing your grunt work for you?"

"Because, "Bluey," if you don't help us, we're not going to send you back to your home, and you'll be trapped here with us!" Rainbow Dashed replied, tauntingly. "So, what'll it be, huh? Help us and go home, or don't, and never see your friends and family ever again?"

Blue raised a finger, about to come up with a witty retort to the comment dealing with so-called "friends and family" he may have possessed, when they all turned as the sudden creaking sound of the door opening rang out. In dashed came another guard, wheezing and out of breath.

"Element bearers! Your help is needed!" he cried. "Ponyville is under attack by Sablewing's forces! There are simply too many for us to hold off! What should we do?"

"Did someone say "attack?"" Red exclaimed, as his head shot to the guard. "As in, violence? As in, dare I say it, a time when I can use my mace to turn someone's skull into a pulpy mixture of chunky salsa and gray matter, and not get berated for it?"

"Yes, but... um... I'm not sure if lethal force would be necess-" the guard tried to reply, seconds before he was flung aside like a paper doll by a red blur that sped out of the door, mace swinging in the air overhead, whilst screaming joyous thanks, blasphemous profanities, and chanting the word "Battle! Battle! Battle!" over and over again to the blue sky. Back with the rest of the knights, a look of both interest and uncertainty began to form on their individual faces.

"Guys, I think we should follow him," Orange said to his friends, with only a minor hint of reluctance in his voice. "Ya'know... before he takes all the action for himself."

"I second that!" Blue immediately said, raising a hand. Green, folding his arms and shaking his head, turned around and faced the ponies, almost begrudgingly.

"Alright, fine. We'll help you," he spoke to them. "But only because we're bored, and you've oh-so generously given us some damsels to rescue, and enemies to fight."

"Any... other reason?" Fluttershy inquired. Applejack seemed to silently ask the same question as well, as indicated by the raised eyebrow look she was giving them.

"...And to punish evil, and preserve good, and yada yada..." he sighed back, before turning to Orange and Blue. "You guys ready to head out?"

"Sure, why not," Orange shrugged nonchalantly, as he inspected the blade of his battle axe, making sure it was nice and sharp.

"I'm up for it, if it'll ease the boredom," Blue spoke, as he finished stretching out one of his arms, before gripping the handle of his sword, and lifting it.

Nodding in full agreement, they all ran up to the door, carelessly shoving aside the same, dazed guard from before as he was just standing back up. Before they could exit it though, Red's head suddenly reappeared from the corner of it, startling the three other knights slightly. His expression appeared to be a mix of worry, and confusion.

"I forgot to ask something," he began, in an embarrassed voice. "Which way is "Ponyville," exactly?"

A Good Old Rousing Round of Pillage the Village

"So... we're in a world full of... ponies?" Blue inquired to Orange, as the two tried to catch up with their aptly-named green and red comrades. "Not that I'm complaining or anything, but... ponies?"

"I don't get it as much as you my icy friend," Orange spoke. "But it sure kills the boredome, eh?"

"Yeah, I guess," he chuckled back, turning forward again before his brow curled in confusion.

"Hey, is that smoke I see in the distance?"

Blue peered in front of himself as well and saw the black cloud he was told of forming just over the trees as well.

"You know what they say. Where there's smoke..." he began, grinning maliciously.

"...There's fire!" Orange finished. The two let out hoots of joy and pulled out their weapons, ready for battle.

As the chaos of marauding goblins, kobolds, and diamond dogs went on around her, Dinky, a young unicorn filly with a gray coloring to her fur and a blonde mane, backed against the outer wall of a house as a kobold cornered her, his small, alligator-like face focused on her smaller form, a spear held in his claws ready to perform irreparable damage. Just as he was about to attack the defenseless foal, another, larger gray shape burst in, and got between the raider and the filly. It was a pegasus mare with a pair of golden eyes that were as crossed as her current expression.

"Stay away from my Dinky!" Derpy shouted, as she turned about and bucked her rear legs at the lizard-like creatures. The kobold went flying back upon being struck, but quickly got back up and ran back to the pony, raising his spear and bellowing as he charged.

"NA-NA-NA-POW!" a voice went suddenly out. The kobold stopped in reaction, turning to look for who made the noise, and was swiftly met with an armored fist to the scaly face as a red figure came into view. Several teeth scattered about in various directions as the reptile's snout was broken by the knight's knuckles, and he fell onto his back.

"EXCELSIOR!" Red continued, as he ran up to the downed reptile, grabbed it, and chucked it at a nearby goblin, crushing the squat, green creature. Derpy, surprised by her rescuer, was even more amazed as three more alien, multicolored, non-pony beings sped forth.

"What killed the dinosaurs? The ice age!" the blue one cheered on, his frost-tipped sword cleaving through a kobold's chest, sending a wave of green blood and armor about the dirt ground.

"Don't ask how I do this. Just... beans," the green one said in a normal, inexpressive voice, to a horde of nearly a dozen of the monsters he dashed in front of. Finishing his claptrap, he sent forth a misty, cloudy blast of green gas at them, poisoning and suffocating them slowly the moment they inhaled. Soon, they all fell to the ground like dominoes, choking on the foul, tainted air.

"Pardon us, ma'am," the orange one wielding an axe apologized, tipping his helmet forward to the mare in friendly respect as he passed by. Derpy and Dinky could only watch with surprise and awe at what came next.

After a good few minutes of hacking, slashing, biting, kicking, throwing, breaking, random cursing, punching, more hacking, bludgeoning and name-calling, the four colored knight-esque figures quickly made short work of the remaining raiders, and once the dust had (mostly) settled, they were all either dead, or had fled the town when their rampage subsided. Though the ponies around them cheered at their success, Red wasn't happy about that.

"Hey! Come back!" he shouted angrily, running after them a short ways before stopping. He pulled out his bow and took three shots at them, but missed.

"Aww..." he complained, kicking a rock as his three friends came up to comfort him. "It's no fun when they run..."

"What? Where are those idiots all running off to?" Killer asked himself, watching from a hilltop as his army ran from Ponyville in a cowardly fashion.

"It appears your army is faltering," Princess Luna chuckled from the cage she sat in a few feet away. Killer shot her a death glare from behind his helmet, but the alicorn easily ignored it.

Turning to the kobold next to him, Killer reached into his back pocket and pulled out a set of keys. "Here," he spoke, giving them to the smaller reptile. "Keep these safe. I have work to do..."

With a hint of worry in her cyan eyes, Luna watched as the giant diamond dog pulled his equally gigantic club from his back, and trudge off to the entrance of the town.

"Guys... do you, um, feel that?" Blue asked his friends, as he felt tremors going out through the ground below.

"Sure do," Green replied, casually. "Sounds big. Sounds bad. Sounds tough."

No sooner had he spoke, a large shape, five times each of their sizes, came into view from behind a building. Upon seeing them, the dog-like figure wielding a tree trunk as a weapon let out a growl.

"So... you're the ones that chased my army away, eh?" he spoke. "You may have beaten my army, but now..."

He thumped his tree trunk-club on the ground, shaking the ground further.

"Now... you deal with me!"

"Oh, boy!" Red said in an excited voice, rubbing his hands together with glee. "This reminds me of that time we fought that giant barbarian! Remember, guys? We fought him, and we killed him, and then a chest fell on him from the sky, and then he exploded, and then-"

The knight couldn't finish talking about his flashback, as Killer swung his club and slammed the unwary knight into the ground, leaving only his flailing legs above the dirt. Stuck for a good measure, Orange, Blue, and Green rushed forward with battle cries, and attacked him, their weapons only able to hit his legs. Killer laughed at their pitiful attempts to apprehend him, and swatted Blue and Orange away, leaving Green alone, whom he scooped up in a claw.

"You're so pathetic, it's almost funny!" the dog barked at Green, once the Knight was on his eye-level. With one arm still free, Green sent out a puff of green smoke, causing to diamond dog to cough as he wafted it away with his club.

Unaffected and unamused with the attack, Killer threw the knight straight through the air, and his green form soon crashed through the roof of a nearby building with the name House of Lamps spelled out on its front. Wood, splinters, and timber scattered with his rough landing.

"Green... no!" Orange yelled, once he and Blue picked themselves back up.

"If he's dead, I call his boots," Blue said in an uncaring manner. Either way, both returned their focus back on the beast before them, and charged blindly forward. Killer laughed, and brought his club down in reply, whacking them away.

Though he was sore, Green came to a few seconds after landing. Upon adjusting to his situation, he noticed he was surrounded by lamps, and a puddle of lamp oil was leaking nearby, thanks to his impact. The wretched, evil gears in the knight's head began to turn the moment he saw where he was.

"Ooh..." Green spoke to himself, a devious thought coming into his mind. "Now there's and idea..." Grabbing as much of the unbroken items in his hands, Green shuffled outside, tittering to himself. Upon leaving the store, he saw the dog was laughing, and his comrades were all broken on the ground, groaning in pain; save for Red, who was still stuck head-first in the ground, screaming muffled curses from where he was.

"Looks like it's time to oil up, big guy," Green cackled, as he chucked the first lamp at the enormous dog. It shattered on Killer's shoulder upon impact, sending the clear, flammable, petroleum-infused liquid it contained all over his body. The dog growled and turned to Green, just as another flew through the air and hit him right on his helmeted face. As the dog tried to wipe the liquid away, Green tossed what else he had left at the brute, covering as much of his body as he could in lamp oil, and looked to Orange with his permanent, stony glare.

"Orange, now!" he hollered out. Moaning, the knight in question saw what his friend was talking about and quickly set to action, knowing exactly what to do. A sphere of fire left his raised palm and flew toward Killer, and once it touched his shaggy fur, his entire body erupted into an inferno.

The diamond dog let out a series of yelps and cries as his massive form was enveloped in burning, red-yellow flames. Dropping his makeshift weapon, Killer flailed about in a vain attempt to extinguish the fire, looking around desperately for something to douse it, until his eyes landed on a pond a few dozen meters away. Unthinking, he rushed to the pool as the three knights ran up to Red and pulled him, leg-first, out of the ground.

As the four wandered to the pond they saw the dog sighing in relief. Upon noticing the four figures, he turned to them and laughed evilly.

"Your only hope of beating me, and it's gone," he chuckled. "What will you do now, weaklings? What could any of you possibly do? Hehehe..."

The dog's face then went from smug to fearful in a matter of seconds as he saw a literal spark gleam in the utterly enraged Red Knight's eyes, and raised his hands to the large dog.

"POWER!" Red screamed at the top of his lungs in as hammy of a tone as he could muster, electricity discharging from his fingertips and arcing into the water where the diamond dog stood. "UNLIMITED... POWER!"

The dog shrieked in pain as he was shocked violently, the water it stood in amplifying the power of Red's magic to the maximum. Red only stopped half-a-minute later, when he used up most of his energy in his attack, and the enormous diamond dog, though not moving or making any more noises, still stood.

Steam and smoke rose from the dog's form, as well as what sounded like the popping and snapping of slightly charred flesh. With a defeated moan, Killer's eyes closed and he fell, face-first, into the water below, unconscious. Bubbles formed around his submerged face before stopping a few moments later, and all went still.

Whatever goblins, kobolds, and diamond dogs still remained all saw as their leader was beaten, and promptly turned about, fleeing from the town. The ponies that were defending themselves let out more happy cheers as they saw their attackers fully abandon the battle, and instantly set to helping each other recuperate.

Luna sighed in relief as nearby ponies came to her aid, her cage now undefended. Her jailer, in his haste to escape, dropped the keys to the princess's prison, and they were promptly grabbed. The moment she was released, Luna's horn lit up and cast a spell of reparation that extinguished all the fires in Ponyville, and fixed the majority of the damage done to its buildings.

"Citizen, do you know of the ones responsible for defeating these beasts?" she asked once her task was done.

"It was those four guys that look like knights, my princess," the brown-furred earth pony that let her out replied. "They're not ponies, and they look a little weird, but they helped us." Nodding to him, Luna spread her wings out, happy to do so after having had them confined to such a small space, and took to the air.

It wasn't long before she located the beings in question, and landed in front of them. Captivated by this new creature's appearance, the normally rambunctious quartet let her speak.

"You have my earnest thanks, brave knights," Luna spoke. "I am Luna, one of the princesses of this land, and ruler of the night. By defeating the diamond dog leader and sending his lackeys running, you have freed me from my bonds, and given this land the hope it desperately needs in this dark hour. For that, I am eternally grateful."

Red, Blue, Green, and Orange, hearing her regal title, each shifted a wary glance at one another, knowing what just had to come next. As the alicorn waited for them to respond, the quiet that followed had become very palpable. As she was about to speak again, it was broken.

"SHE'S MINE!" the four suddenly cried out in unison, tearing their weapons from their sheaths, and attacked each other in a dogpile of vivid color and a flurry of rapid movement, much to Luna's great confusion.

The Quest (Officially) Begins!

By the time the dust the four warriors kicked up had settled, Red was standing atop the three-body pile of his bruised and injured friends. With an overly proud swagger in his strut, he marched off of of their puling bodies, and walked passed the onlooking five ponies and dragon from before, and up to the still-confused Princess Luna. Bending down on one knee, his entire, nuttier-than-a-squirrel-pie look somehow changed into a normal, possibly even civil expression; utterly devoid of anything immature.

"Most elegant Princess of the land, I, a simple, humble knight of thine realm, only ask thou to bequeath in a kiss of thanks upon mine lips," he spoke, motioning to his mouth. Luna only gave him a look that begat chagrin in reply. Red, seeing that she apparently disagreed with his proposition, was about to stand up again and leave when Luna suddenly closed her eyes, leaned in, and kissed him passionately on the lips; much to his surprise.

To his friends, Red appeared to be in ecstasy, as seen by his floating body and rapidly flailing limbs. When their lips parted a second later, Red took a moment to drift back down to the ground, as Luna's expression quickly returned to the stern visage it was before, as if having already forgotten the moment. Red, on the other hand, turned about and walked back to his friends in a manner akin to a drunkard.

"Whatta... woman..." he said in a dreamy voice, before collapsing at his friend's feet.

"Easy there, lover-boy," Green spoke, as he and the other two picked him up and dusted him off. As they did this, Pinkie Pie stepped toward their leaded with a questioning look.

"Now that that's over, what happens next?" she inquired.

"Yeah, what happens next?" Orange concurred.

"Well, I must go and make sure the other towns and cities along the countryside are alright," Luna started. "I must also make sure the sun and moon are raised and lowered accordingly."

"What should we do?" Rainbow Dash asked. "There's always the chance that those monsters will return, but if we stay here then we can't go anywhere else."

"That is most troublesome..." Luna stated.

"Send us!" Blue suddenly spoke. "We got summoned here for a reason, after all. And if I didn't know any better, I'd say we're expendable."

"YA HEAR THAT? WE'RE EXPENDABLE!" Red suddenly cried out to the heavens, dropping his mace and shield so he could raise his fists to the sky. His expression quickly became muddled as he snapped out of his mania. "Wait, we're expendable? Nobody tells me anything anymore."

"Then you shall be the ones responsible for rescuing the other princesses," Luna agreed, with a grin of confidence. "Before we can march onto Canterlot and rescue my sister, we must first save Princess Cadence and Princess Twilight Sparkle however. As far as my previous captor bragged, they are not as well-guarded, and we need all they can give."

"Who do we rescue first?" Green asked, as he flicked some dirt from his sword.

"Princess Cadence is the one," she replied. "I do not know where Twilight Sparkle is, but she may know. Her husband and herself are trapped in the Crystal Empire by one that goes by the name of "the Black Knight." I fear what he may be attempting to do..."

"Uh... quick question..." Red began, scratching his head. "Where is this place? I might not be the sharpest fork in the crayon bin, but I think my comrades have as much of an idea of this land as me."

"That's right..." Rarity said. "You'll need somepony to lead you. But who?"

"I'll go," a voice spoke up. Every character there turned to the approaching gray form they each recognized as Derpy Hooves.

"Derpy? You want to do it?" Fluttershy said in shocked tone.

"I... I want to go too," the mare said again, her golden, crossed eyes shifting positions. "These guys will get lost if somepony doesn't lead them, after all. And I deliver mail, so I know how to get everywhere."

"Are you sure about this, sugarcube?" Applejack said.

"Yes," she replied, nodding. "My daughter can stay here where it's safe, but I want to go make sure that monster that started all this gets what's coming to him."

Luna let out a sigh. "Very well, Miss Hooves. You shall be the one to help these strangers reach the Crystal Empire."

"Very good! We leave immediately!" Red shouted, lifting his mace up and instantly running toward the nearby dirt road roaring like a bear.

"What about lunch?" Blue spoke up from where he stood. "All that fighting made me hungry."

Red ran back to his friends, still boisterously shouting, before stopping and putting his weapon down. "We leave after lunch!" he shouted again.

Sablewing stood by the balcony of Canterlot's castle, sipping from a clear chalice in his claw that was filled with red wine as he admired the view. He couldn't help but feel as though something was off, but he shook the feeling away. The sound of claws pattering on the ground behind prompted him to turn, and there, running up to him, was a smaller shape.

It was a kobold bearing blue scales, and a tired expression. It was clear he had been running for some time, judging from his panting.

"Who are you, my friend?" the dragon asked, once the being stopped.

"Dross the messenger," the small reptile responded, bowing his head to his leader. "I have... I have bad news, my lord."

"Bad news?" he inquired. "Go ahead and tell me."

"Eh... Killer, your chief Diamond Dog... he has been slain, my lord."

Sablewing's expression shifted to one of surprise on his black-scaled face, before mollifying to what it was before. "By whom?" he asked, his tone still soothingly normal.

"Four short warriors unlike anyone I've seen before," Dross responded. "They then freed the princess, Luna, and I personally fear that they will attempt the same thing with the other three. I... I also think they may be from another universe."

Sablewing hummed, looking into his chalice and the red liquid in it. The kobold saw he was thinking about his next move.

"Send for... the Warboss. Tell him we have a job for him," he finally said. The kobold blinked in surprise.

"The Warboss? A-are you sure?" he asked. "That goblin's a menace. He doesn't listen, tried to kill us the moment we brought him and his clan here from his universe, and ran off to pursue his own agenda... it was a miracle we paid that bastard enough to stop raiding our outposts..."

Sablewing chuckled as he walked closer to his minion. "He's a treacherous fiend, and he's as brutal as a rabid dire wolf, that much is true. But you must remember, he has the mind of a child. A hyperactive, violent, cruel child with an attention span as fickle as an autumn wind, mind you. Which is why we're going to tell him that he'll have an "enemy worth fighting" in the form of our little... problem."

"You think it'll work?" the kobold inquired again.

"My dear minion, of course I do," he replied confidently, turning to walk down the balcony's aisle a short ways, the smaller reptile following obediently. "Though we may have lost a princess, and a good warrior for that matter, all shall turn out in our favor I assure you. Now, fetch me a carrier pigeon, if you may."

"Of course, sir," the kobold bowed, before going forward and leaving as fast as he came in. As he went away, Sablewing turned about to the balcony, and once more sauntered to its edge.

"So... Killer, the mighty diamond dog, has been slain by four short characters from another world, has he?" he spoke to himself, swishing the wine in his chalice as he mulled about his current situation. "If there's anything I knew since I was a whelp, it's how to fight fire with fire..."

He took a sip, admiring the flavor of the vintage, fermented beverage before swallowing.

"...And as any should know, it's that my fire is much hotter than most else's..."

Ride of Da Ruff Ridas

Rukk Gougesnik was a goblin. Not an ordinary goblin, mind you. He was a warboss - an orcish-goblinish term for "warlord" - to his clan. His clan was known as the Ruff Ridas tribe, and their greatest talent was their ability to tame giant wolves and ride them like one would ride a warhorse. Many other goblin tribes not unlike his own practiced this, but his tribe practically lived off of this ideal to the point that every greenskin was bred to ride these fearsome, canid beasts.

While the rest stood outside doing other things, he and a few other top-ranking goblins sat in front of a large, wooden table inside of a small cave that lied in the middle of what he now knew was the Badlands; a land that coincidentally went by the same name of where his tribe and himself lived before they were whisked away to this dimension. It wasn't like the dry plains of home, though. There was much more arid desert, and a lot less monsters to worry about, such as ghouls. Behind their table was several dozen big sacks full of gold, silver, and treasures that had been plundered and stolen from raids, or gained from bullying the opposition.

As the table of gobbos heartily ate their food, swigged down pints of fungus beer, or just made talk to one another about amazing battle stories or half-truths they cooked up to gain more attention (the majority of which were pure lies about stealing wyvern eggs or bravely fighting elves), Rukk himself was busy nibbling on the leg of a chicken, pulling off the fat, meaty bits with his small, but jagged teeth. Lying against one side of his throne of wood and furs was a long-bearded axe he used in most of his ventures, and on the other side rested a large wolf with a dark gray pelt. The she-wolf, Snaga was her name, was the goblin's best friend, and, as with every adult wolf in the clan, a personal mount.

"Oi! Oi!" a high-pitched shout suddenly echoed throughout the cave. Their attention brought off from their food and activities, each goblin lifted their big-nosed, pointy-eared heads and saw a goblin lad enter the cave with something clutched in his hands.

"Oi, look at what I copped!" the gobbo shouted again, raising his hands overhead and showing off a pigeon. "I waz just feedin' the pups, and dis bird 'ere landed in front of me! What a dumb bird. I fink he wants me to eat 'im. I just thought I'd show you first, boss."

"Dat's a messenger bird ya git. Hand it over and zog off!" Rukk demanded in his typical nasally voice, tossing his chicken leg away, which was promptly beset upon by his wolf. Afraid of getting a knock over the noggin if he disobeyed, the goblin did as he was told and with only a hint of reluctance in his step, gave the pigeon to the warboss and fled from his sight. After inspecting the cooing animal for a bit, he located and pulled the piece of paper off of its leg with his green fingers. With that done, he threw the bird into the air and the feathered creature flew out of the cave and away in a panic; no longer wishing to be in the company of such foul creatures.

Rukk read for some time, still fairly rusty on understanding the common language. When he was finally done, a toothy grin of pure malice stretched across his face from pointed ear, to pointed ear.

"You all right, boss?" one of Rukk's many lieutenants asked; specifically one with a rather long nose, even for a goblin.

"A 'course I am, Longnose," he replied. "It's from dat lizard git dat brought us 'ere in da first place! He says dat there's four strong gits he wants us to kill dead an' proper."

"Ooh. We gonna krump em, boss?" Longnose inquired again, rubbing his greasy hands together in glee. "I knows you's is right about 'im being a right foul git fer bringin' us 'ere in da first place as a half-done attempt to make us "slaves," but I do so very much wanna fight someone wiff proper weapons and fighty-skills."

"Maybe... maybe..." he spoke, sniffing his nose. "I don't wanna do what Lizard-Boy says, but it does certainly sound like fun. Better 'en standin' 'ere and doin' nothin' but eatin' and countin' gold."

"Can we, boss? Can we?" another, smaller goblin sporting a large helmet that covered most of his head asked in an excited tone as he placed a hand on his sword in enthusiasm.

"Ah... why not," their leader finally relented, crunching the paper up and tossing it away.

As the goblins around the table cheered, Rukk called for Snaga. Grabbing his bow and axe, and jumping into the leather saddle on her back, he grabbed at her reigns and mushed her to the opening of the cave. When they had exited it, the two found themselves facing the large goblin encampment just outside; the sun from overhead shining off of the Rukk's pointed metal helmet and fur cape-covered back, and casting a tall shadow thanks to the trophy rack that was attached there as well, showcasing a couple of dwarf skulls and a Bretonnian knight helmet from back in their world.

"Oi, ya sods! Listen up!" the warboss yelled out in an echoing voice as he raised his axe to his lackeys, who ambled around the camp until they caught wind of his words. Even the snotlings; an even smaller subspecies of orc and goblin with an incredulously dull and semi-sentient mindset, looked up at Rukk Gougesnik, as if in anticipation of his words.

"We got us some good-old boys in need of a good krumpin' up northward!" he started. "I was told in a note I just 'ad dat they took on an entire army of dat scaly git's monsters an' traitors an' 'en beat da snot outta dem! I say we go show dat scaly runt 'ow to do it proper, an' mount their 'eads on some pointy sticks, eh? What do you boys say to dat?"

Howls and roars of approval immediately sounded out, followed by the sound of multiple armored feet stampeding to the pen where all the wolves that weren't currently let out were kept, while some stayed behind to pack up their belongings. As soon as all the goblins had grabbed their assorted weapons and mounted their wolves, they raced over to their warboss, waiting for him to give the words to move out. They were not disappointed by what he said next.

"Ruff Ridas... let's ride out an' go get some!"

With that, the hundreds of goblins and wolves howled once more, and every single one followed their leader as he and his wolf bounded off at a top speed through the Badlands desert, in a northern direction, kicking up a thick cloud of dust and dirt in their wake.

Author's Notes:

Dis is gonna be good...

Mooks to the Slaughter

After a days' worth of traveling, our five, brave heroes stopped for the night. An hour into rubbing two sticks together fruitlessly, Blue finally decided to let Orange use his powers to start a fire, as Derpy, Red, and Green rolled logs over to use as chairs.

"How much distance is left between us and our destination?" Green sighed in a weary voice to Derpy, pulling a book out to read as he took a seat.

"We're just a few dozen miles past Cloudsdale," she said in a cheerful voice. "By the end of tomorrow we'll be at the Crystal Empire!"

"HUZZAH!" Red boomed. "I CANNOT WAIT TO FIGHT OUR ADVERSARY! I'll make us some marshmallows to celebrate."

"I'll have some," the mare spoke again as Red began to sift through his knapsack for a bag.

"Say... Derpy..." Orange inquired as the cross-eyed pegasus sat beside him on the log he was upon, admiring the fire's warmth. "Do you know anything about this Black Knight guy we're going to fight?"

"Well... there's an old story I once read about a knight named Caerbannog the Black," she started, picking up a long stick on the ground in her hooves. "They say he was captain of Luna's guard before she became Nightmare Moon, and stayed with her after she turned evil. When Nightmare Moon was imprisoned in the moon, Caerbannog was turned to stone as punishment. He must've escaped his fate if he's here now."

"Anything else?" Blue also asked. Derpy put a hoof to her chin as she entered deep thought.

"I think I remember something else," she said. "When my mom told me stories of Caerbannog, she said he was always accompanied by a large, combat-centric automaton called "the Shrike." If anything, that thing's probably not around anymore."

Red tossed (id est, chucked as hard as he could throw) everyone a marshmallow and began to cook his own in the flame with a green twig. Pulling it out after a few seconds, he blew the fire out on it and ate it; the sticky foodstuff getting caught in his teeth fairly quickly. "Ah can't wait fo' tomorro'" he tried to speak with a goofy grin.

"Neither can I, my friend," Green said, placing a hand on his nutty comrade's shoulder as he closed his book with a clap. "But first we must get to bed. Faster to bed, faster to battle!"

A sudden, loud howl went out through the air before anyone could go for their sleeping bags, made by the obvious kind of creature.

"Isn't that a hoot!" Red shouted, when the noise died down. "I hear the sound of wolves!"

Another call went out, followed by another, giving Derpy an uneasy feeling. "It sounds like it's getting closer," she shivered. Red gave her a sardonic look.

"Puh-lease..." he said. "The odds of a wolf attack are, like, zero. Nothing. Null."

The sound of something growling and bounding up behind Red caught everyone's ears in but a single split second. Without hesitation, he wrapped his fingers over his mace and picked it up.

"GAH! WOLF ATTACK!" Red shrieked, swinging his weapon behind him at a rapid speed. A loud crunch, followed by a pained scream went out, and the shape of a large canine fled away as a small, squat figure fell from it.

Getting a shaky, but closer look at it, they saw it was a goblinoid creature. It had green skin was covered in furs, bore a large, horned helmet on its long-nosed, big-eared head, and its chest armor, as well as the bones beneath it looked crushed from the blow.

"Hoo-boy..." Blue said with a deep breath. "You think it's a goblin?"

"Yep," Green confirmed, after poking its closed eye with a stick. "And If there's anything I know about goblins, it's that there's usually more than one." The moment he said that a loud, amassed battlecry went out in the night. Through the moonlight, they saw an enormous contingent of snarling wolves charging in their direction as they noticed more goblins riding on top of them; cruel and crude weapons swinging over their heads in preparation to use them.

"We've got company..." Derpy whispered to Orange as he lifted his axe. Blue and Green took out their swords and readied their shields.

"They're all riding wolves!" Blue couldn't help but point out. "That is hardcore!"

"Krump dem!" the goblins all shouted in unison as they attacked. "Krump dem all!"

The moment the two forces collided with one another, it was as if an explosion went out, and many of the goblins were thrown from their mounts. Giving it no heed, the moment they all stood up they grabbed for their weapons and charged back into the chaotic fray.

Red gleefully began to duel with a large greenskin, deflecting sword blow after sword blow until he smacked the head of his weapon into his enemy's stomach and then tripped him, sending him to the ground. Bringing his mace up and then letting it drop with great force, the goblin found his skull being turned to pulp and mushed grey matter with a loud, very-audible crunch. Quickly refocusing on his next victim, Red jumped with a holler onto a passing wolf, where he began to clobber the terrified rider to death before he could react.

Separated from his friends and Derpy, but still hearing them let out grunts, shouts, and taunts, Orange was caught in the middle of the battlefield. As he dispatched another, hood-wearing goblin by planting his weapon into its side, he pulled it out and turned about in time to see another goblin, yet one of a much bigger size and very well-armored as opposed to the others. He had a spike-tipped, fur-lined helmet, a left pauldron made of a wolf skull, and wielded a vicious-looking bearded axe. Over back he wore a trophy rack containing a few skulls and a knight helmet.

"Who are you?" Orange asked, pointing his weapon to the being. He laughed in reply and sniffed loudly through his nose.

"I'm da warboss of dis here group. My name's Rukk Gougesnik," the creature spoke. "And you's all gonna feel my wrath in just a second when I cut yer head off with my axe."

"Warboss?" the knight questioned. "What does that mean? Are you some kind of businessman?"

"It means dat I'm da bestest, so's I'm da boss!" he bellowed, as the sound of the carnage around them went on. "...And I've gotta admit, you look a lot like dem stunties I've fought a lot. And I just love to kill me some stunties."

"Who are you calling "stunty," big-nose?" Orange insulted. Gougesnik gave a nasty, red-eyed glare.

"Hmph. Prepare to get yer head krumped, ya git!" the goblin yelled in an enraged voice as he picked his bearded axe up, and began to charge forward with a monstrous roar. "WAAAAGH!"

"That was some fight, wouldn't you say?" Blue sighed, as he slid down the mound of green bodies he stood on top of. The early morning sun was just forming overhead, unleashing a bright, reddish glow over the mist-strewn land.

"I'll say," the nearby Orange panted in agreement as he picked up the large, severed head of the now-dead goblin warboss by one of his long ears, and looked into his dull, lifeless eyes while a tongue dangled out of his toothy mouth limply. "This guy here put up quite a fight. Took me almost all night to kill him. That's one nice helmet he's got though, I must admit..."

"What did that guy call himself?" Blue asked, as he joined up with his friend on the ground.

"Warboss Gouge-something or other," he replied, taking one last look at the head before removing the helmet from it, and casually tossing the dismembered body part away to a nearby pile of goblin corpses. "Where are the others?" he asked.

"Somewhere over there," he spoke, pointing past the field of greenskins that littered the ground like fallen leaves. They both walked through it until Orange decided to speak out.

"Derpy?" he shouted, cupping his hands together to make his voice louder. "Red? Green? Where are you all?"

"Over here! We're all over here!" a female voice responded. Quickly making their way through the fog, they saw, to their relief, their otherwise-unharmed allies. Green was cleaning his sword, Derpy was sitting on one of the logs they were using the night before, and Red appeared to be a few dozen feet from the two, holding several, tamed wolves by their reigns.

"Thank goodness you're alright," Derpy spoke to Blue and Orange. "There were a lot of them, huh?"

"I know, right?" Blue chuckled, as he went up to Green. Orange instead sat down next to the gray pegasus, letting out a tired sigh.

"Hey, Derpy," he said.

"What is it?" she asked

"I... got you a helmet to protect yourself with. It looked comfy," he spoke, giving the warboss's headgear to her. She took it from him in her hooves and fit the spike-topped, fur-lined piece of armor over her head; wrapping the string that held it on around her neck.

"It fits perfectly!" she chuckled. "And it feels so soft!"

"I'm glad you like it..." he grinned back in a small, bashful way. Nearby, sitting with the wolves, Red was starting chuckle.

"D'aww..." he sighed, as he received another, drool-covered lap over the face. "They like me!"

"Hey..." Green spoke, an idea already in his head the second he saw the saddles the canines wore on their backs. "Those goblins were riding these creatures, right?"

"Yeah," Blue said, catching on with what he was saying. "Are you suggesting that we ride them ourselves?"

"Ooh... we could get to the Crystal Empire in no time if we do that!" Derpy smiled, clapping her hooves together.

"Alright men and pony," Blue began to order. "I hope you're all ready for the rides of your lives. Mount. Your. Wolves!"

A Tale of Tales

Princess Cadence was sitting in her cage of meteoric iron, in the middle of her own castle. There wasn't really anything to do while being imprisoned like this, and so she attempted to find a mean to pass the time. The closest thing she got to that was observing her captor, the Black Knight, who stood a fair distance in front of her, balanced on top of a spear of solid water that poked up from the ground in an expression of great concentration.

The knight didn't do much, and what Cadence knew for sure was that it was no pony. Its shape was upright, it walked on two legs, it was covered from head-to-toe in black armor, its helmet of which had the visage of a shark-esque creature with a long, red plume of hair extended from the back of it, and it bore a distinct smell of sushi. All the Black Knight ever did when not practicing forming spears out of water and chucking them at straw-filled dummies, it was just standing around, balancing on a spear as it was currently doing, or nothing at all. If this was the "Caerbannog" knight she heard so much about, then the Nightmare Moon of way back when certainly had odd creatures at her command.

"Hey, Caerbannog. It's almost noon, and I'm hungry," she said to it, her echo carrying through the atrium. "You have an obligation to care for my needs, correct? Bring me something to eat."

The Black Knight's shifting posture betrayed its annoyance toward the alicorn. With a very audible grumble, it jumped down from its spear, which then collapsed into a puddle of water that then vanished, and began to stomp off. About five minutes later it returned, carrying a silver tray that held a cup of warm tea and a plate full of steaming spaghetti, covered in blood-red tomato sauce.

"For you, "princess,"" the Black Knight spoke in a low, rumbling, distorted voice that seemed to send a vibration through the air. Carefully, it slid the meal under the bars. "I hope you like. I learned the recipe from a friend. Believe it or not, he's the one guarding your husband."

"I never thought a monster so evil as you could have a friend," Cadence responded, wryly.

"Just for the record, I'm not evil. I'm doing this because I got dragged here by somebody else. And by the way, the name isn't "Caerbannog" or "Black Knight," or any of those other stupid names, princess," the knight spoke again in a mocking tone, before wrapping its fingers around the bottom of its helmet, and pulled it off with a quick tug. What the being revealed was a blue-skinned, and clearly feminine head, bearing a visage similar to a fish, yet much slimmer. While one eye was a shining gold color and bore a single, thin, black slit for a pupil, the other, or lack thereof, was covered by an eyepatch. Long, scarlet hair fell behind and trailed along to her shoulders, as her mouth, filled with nothing but long, sharp teeth, grimaced into a wicked smile.

"It's Undyne."

"Brrr." Orange hugged himself as he shivered from the wolf he was riding through the frozen wastes. He gripped the saddle tighter as one of his friends noticed.

"Cold's finally getting to you?" Blue smirked to his comrade, who looked utterly unfazed by his surroundings.

"No..." he responded, slowly. "I just felt something. It was like... a feeling of... suspense. Like... something big's coming our way. How very fishy."

"Well, you know what Red say about big things," Blue remarked again.

"The bigger the mushroom, the bigger the character gets on Super Mario Bros.?" he asked. Blue sighed and shook his head.

"No. "Bigger means better!""

"When did he say that?"

Blue thought for a moment, stroking his chin as he pondered, and attempting to ignore the feeling of bouncing up-and-down from riding on his wolf's back. "Hrm. Wasn't it when-"

"Hey, guys!" the sound of Green's voice interrupted, from in front of them. "I see something!"

Looking ahead, the two saw what their green ally was currently witnessing. It was a ravine that stretched for miles. An orange glow illuminated from what appeared to be the bottom, most likely molten lava, and when they were close enough to look down, each of the five knew their suspicions were correct. The burning stuff bubbled far below in the pit of ice; certain death for any that decided they wanted to fall off of the ledge.

"The Crystal Empire should be just past this," Derpy began, shifting her new helmet to a better position. "I don't even remember this thing being here. How are we going to... oh, look over there!"

The mare pointed a hoof at something, and each saw she had spotted a bridge. Riding closer to it, they saw it had an aged, rotted texture; being made of wood and having only rickety, rope cables to hold it up. The end of the bridge, however far it went, was concealed by a thick cloud of fog.

"Well, we're not gonna be able to ride these puppies any further," Green commented, hopping off of his wolf. The rest followed his example, including Red, who looked exceptionally sad while doing so.

"Goodbye, wolves..." Red mourned in a melancholy tone. The alpha wolf he rode upon walked up to him and gently nuzzled his nose against him after her saddle was taken off, before turning around and slowly walking off into the storm. The rest of the large canines went with their leader, leaving only tracks in their wake, which were soon covered by the falling snow. Turning back and walking to the bridge, the first thing Red noticed was how warm it felt; produced by the lava that sat below.

"Hoo boy. Long, twisty, clichéd bridge of death, we meet again," Orange mouthed. "At least there's no old guy here to ask us about what the capital of Assyria is, am I right? Hehe..."

Red tried his hardest to make a cricket noise, signifying how bad Orange's joke was. Sighing, the knight looked back to the bridge, and then to Derpy.

"Derpy, you can fly across, right?" he asked the pegasus. She nodded.

"Of course I can. What about you all?"

"Ah, don't worry about us," Green said, monotonously. "We'll meet you on the other side."

"Alright..." she said in an unsure manner. Turning, she jumped into the air, and began to flap her wings as she soon disappeared behind the fog-cloud. Once she was gone, Orange spat into his hands and rubbed them together.

"Well, ladies. Let's go." His words were full of worry, yet somehow also full of confidence at the same time. He was the first to step onto the overpass, and the rest followed suit. The bridge creaked and groaned under their weight. As Orange took in deep, nervous breaths, Green sweated profusely, and Blue was twitching with every sharp noise he heard, gripping the rope railing with tight hands. The only one that didn't seem to be in a panicked state was Red, who was instead joyfully, though somehow disturbingly, singing a small song about petting kittens made of baby teeth and rock salt.

"Erm... you know what this reminds me of?" Blue suddenly spoke up. "That scene from Shrek. Remember? With Donkey panicking, and trying not to look down, and Shrek shaking the bridge, and..."

"Not the best time for thoughts like that. Shut your trap before you give Red any ideas," Green snapped. "Now... keep going. We're almost there."

Sure enough, once they went through and passed out of the cloud, there before them was the end of the bridge, and waiting at the end was Derpy. With a few more, heart-wrenching seconds of travel, the four finally made it.

"Are you all okay?" Derpy inquired, as the last of them stepped onto the snow-laden ground.

"Peachy," Green responded.

"Whoa... Look at that, guys..." Red gasped in awe, staring ahead. When the other three knights were looking in the same direction, they to allowed their jaws to drop in sheer surprise at what was now far in front of them.

What begat their sight was the view of the Crystal Empire, and its sheer, enthralling beauty. The spire that went past all of the common houses and made up the main castle seemed to go higher into the sky than any of them ever thought possible. It practically glittered with the sparkling radiance given off from its crystalline form.

"Now, THAT'S a castle..." Blue drooled, fantasizing of all the ways he was going to crash it, much like his friends.

Author's Notes:

You all know what time it is!

Spear of Justice

"Is it me, or does this place seem very... abandoned to you guys?" Blue inquired as he and the others walked through the desolate streets of the Crystal Empire, heading in the direction of the large castle in its center.

"I don't know where the townsponies could be," Derpy responded swiftly, shifting the large helmet over her head to a better position. "They might all be hiding."

When she finished her sentence, the mare finally realized that Red, whom she was walking beside, was petting something in his hands and whispering sweet nothings to it. Her brow curled in curiosity.

"What do you have there?" the pony asked. Red paused from his activity and turned to her, exposing what he held. It was a sandwich, as Derpy could now see.

"It's a beef sandwich I made on our way here," he replied. "I already had some lettuce and cheese on me thanks to our provisions, and there was plenty of goblin meat to be had in our last encounter. It might not be beef per se, but it will do."

"How does a sandwich help?" she asked. "And... what's 'beef'?"

"First off, I don't think you want to know what beef is. Second, if we eat a beef sandwich - or anything we classify as a beef sandwich, I hope - we grow HUGE muscles and can use them to pulverize our enemies," Blue responded. "It helps out a bundle in a pinch."

Derpy's face looked twisted with confusion. "That... doesn't sound like it makes much sense."

"NOTHING where we're from makes sense," Orange stated with a chuckle. As he finished his sentence, they all finally came to the castle's entrance. They quietly walked in, each sensing something off with the silence that radiated like a miasma of foul peace before a conflict.

"Hmm. Roomy, shiny, very well built... just needs some more furniture," Green suddenly commented as they wandered through, looking at his surroundings with a wondering glare. He found himself halted in his stride as his teammates stopped, and before he could ask them why, he noticed they were all looking up at the balcony resting in front of them. He joined them and took a peek, only to widen his eyes in surprise.

There, perched atop of the balcony with its back turned to them, was a tall figure. It wielded a vibrantly blue spear grasped in a horizontal position by its two lowered arms, across its midsection, and was clad completely in dark armor, befitting of one whom resided in such a place. Then, it spoke.

"You have all journeyed far to meet the end of my spear..." the figure's voice was concealed in a distorted whisper. "I applaud you for your resilience, but justice shall be meted out upon you by this day's end. I should tell you about how I came to this strange place, as a healthy exchange between us before you meet your ultima-"

"No... i-it... can't be..." Red suddenly interrupted in a trembling voice. The being turned about and faced the knights in an annoyed way; displaying its equally-intimidating, if not more so front and clearly upset to have been interrupted.

"DRAGON SLAYER ORNSTEIN?" he then shrieked. "If you're here, then... then where's Executioner Smough? I don't wanna relive that moment! I JUST CAN'T!"

"GRRAAAAGH!" the new foe roared in complete and utter frustration, causing all below to jump back in startled fashion. "My name is not Ornstein! And it's not "the Black Knight" or "Caerbannog" either, idiots! My name is Undyne! Undyne! And I... You know what? SCREW IT!"

Undyne took an enormous leap from the balcony and landed on the ground with a crash that sent thunder through the once-still air. Wrapping her fingers around her helmet, she pulled it off and tossed it away, revealing her one-eyed, female face to the knights and pony.

"THAT'S A CHICK?" Orange screamed, seeing her true visage.

"NGAHHH!" she boomed in a roar, heaving her spear through the air. The knights and pegasus only had a second to avoid the projectile, and it was not spent in vain. As they all just barely managed to get out of its way, the water-based weapon flew past them and hit the wall, sending cracks into its crystal form as it embedded itself within it. Undyne quickly went about creating more, hardening moisture and water that flew about in the air around her until they took the shape of a dozen glowing spears resting by her side.

"Guys... guys she's got more!" Green bellowed to his comrades the moment he saw what she was doing. Grinning maliciously, Undyne began to chuck them at each of the knights in a rapid fashion; forming them out if thin air when she ran out, throwing them, and repeating the action over and over again at a near blinding speed. Red, Blue, Green and Orange only had just enough of a reaction time to raise their shields and block the spears, which left solid impacts that pushed each of them back with every hit, or dodged them altogether.

"Dance, weaklings!" Undyne commanded as her spear-throwing velocity increased. But then, nearly a minute of attempting to make her enemies into pincushions later, her throwing gradually ceased as she began to tire.

"Charge!" Red bellowed after seeing this moment of weakness, speeding forward with his mace raised and ready for action. With shouts, the other three knights joined in on Red's example and burst into a run. Undyne looked ready though, and easily formed another spear in preparation for them. Red was the first to reach her, and he swung with all of his might.

She deflected the first attack he sent her way with ease, and planted her knee firmly in his colon, knocking the wind from the knight and causing his eyes to practically burst from their sockets like a pair of demented balloons. With another kick from her armored boot, she punted the now bug-eyed knight away from her at an astounding speed, causing him to impact against Green with a clatter of metal, which in the process sent them both sliding across the floor and into a wall.

Witnessing the spectacle their comrades showed with a somewhat impressed, and also angered reaction, Orange and Blue respectively put away their axe and sword, and instead whipped out their bows, which they then used to fire their arrows at Undyne from where they both stood away from her, attempting to pelt the one-eyed monster with a hail of projectiles from afar. She either jumped out of their way or hit them clean from of the air with her weapon.

As the fight went on, Derpy ran up to Red and Green with an expression of concern. "Are you two okay?" she asked, as one of her crossed eyes drooped.

"Just... peachy..." Green said in a sore tone. "Err... you might want to see if you can find the princess... ya'know... while we hold her off..."

"Oh, okay," she agreed. After giving another, worried glance at them, Derpy took to the air and flew out of the room. As Orange and Blue's arms began to tire from their arrow-firing, Undyne just stood there, watching them with pure disdain and disappointment in her yellow eye.

"You may want to plan your next move," she mentioned. "This is boring, and I've been waiting for a good fight for a while."

With Green and Red standing up, the four peeked at one another before nodding their helmeted heads in agreement, and quickly huddled together.

"Guys... this thing's right. We may need a plan... And I don't mean something half-assed, I mean an idea. From our minds," Green panted, as he and the others snuck a quick peek at the awaiting Undyne, watching as she suplexed a huge boulder of crystal, just because she could. "Any ideas on what to do?"

Red was the first to respond, and lifted his food item from his pocket as he did so, so that the others could see it. "Sandwich."

"Oohh..." Blue sighed upon seeing the meal. "That's just what we need. Brilliant! Hand it here."

Red obeyed, and Blue swiped it up in his hands. Before the others could voice their opinions on what they knew was just another half (or more than likely, quarter)-baked strategy, Blue had already leapt away with it and faced the awaiting Undyne.

"Hey, Undyne! Looky what we got here, Fishface! Yeah, I'm talking to you!" he boisterously yelled at the top of his lungs as he swung the piece of food around in the air. Undyne rolled her eye with a sarcastic puff of air as she watched his upcoming rant.

"We're going to beat you! Wanna know why? 'Cause we have a secret weapon! A secret weapon so powerful, so prized among us, that we'll defeat you effortlessly upon taking but a simple nibble of its delectable surface! Prepare yourself to face some beefed-up knights and broken bones, pally. 'Cause we're about to grow some adamantium-hard abs, and there's nothing you can-"

With a casual throw, Undyne sent a water spear through the air and into the sandwich, impaling it like an arrow to a target. With horror-filled, and extremely shocked (with a hint of purely mortified) eyes, Blue's vicious smile vanished and he looked up to the sandwich just in time to see the water spear suddenly explode, destroying the sandwich along with it, and scattering its wet pieces everywhere like non-bloody gibs.

"M-my sandwich..." he gasped, looking at the many pieces of meat, lettuce, and soggy bread that littered the ground. Falling to his knees, he tried to scoop each part of it up, as if in a vain attempt to put it back together again. When he knew it was a futile endeavor, he halted and just stared at its remains.

"It was innocent..." he sobbed, placing his hands on the ground in anguish as tears fell like a waterfall from his eyes. "You... murdered it, like a... a horrible monster."

"You vile thing!" Red screamed, pointing a finger accusingly at Undyne in outrage and striking a stance. "You know not what terror hast been wrought upon you with that action of cruelty!"

"It was just a sandwich," she shrugged shamelessly. "Big whoop. Stop your overreacting and just fight me already, nerds. This is getting tedious."

Blue shot a glare at her that could have turned a cockatrice to stone. "Tedious? TEDIOUS? F***ING TEDIOUS?! How... dare... you..." he started, as his tears began to freeze and a frigid, blue aura began to surround himself. His very breath began to turn into a cold cloud, and he stood back up again to face Undyne with an enraged expression that caused a small, but brief twinge of surprise to enter her mind. Shrugging it off, she formed another weapon in her hand, and prepared for the inevitable assault to come.

"How DARE YOU!" Blue full-on boomed, prompting his friends to look back at him with worried expressions.

"Guys, we may want to back up..." Orange warned with much caution in his words. Nodding in agreement, the two others followed him to the edge of the room behind where they currently were and watched in awe as Blue suddenly burst forth on a magical stream of ice to intercept his adversary at a velocity to rival a rocket.

"FIGHT MEEEEE!" Blue screamed. Undyne raised her spear and intercepted the smaller knight, but the force his bare, ice-covered fists used when they hit felt like a freight train in full motion. Undyne was pushed back by the swing Blue unleashed, and when she stopped herself she looked back at him with a perplexed expression; completely caught off-guard to see this kind of power from a runt like him.

As she bent over in an offensive position, ready to reenter the fray, she couldn't help but unleash a toothy grin, happy to have a real challenge at last.

The gray shape of Derpy continued to fly throughout the crystal castle in a hurried manner. She looked through every room she passed, but there was nopony to be found.

"Princess? Princess Cadence?" she asked out loud, searching over, under and around everything she came across, those being rooms, cupboards, and the occasional table or piece of furniture. "Princess Cadence, where are you? Helloooo?"

"Is someone there?" a voice suddenly called out, apparently hearing her words. The pegasus fell to the ground and ran to the noise without a second thought, rounding a corner and coming face-to-face with the sight of a large cage, and inside it sat a pink alicorn.

"Princess Cadence!" Derpy gasped. She instantly trotted up to the cage and looked to the princess, then to the lock that adorned the cage's closed door.

"Thank everything good in this world that you're here. It's certainly wonderful to see another pony again," the alicorn sighed in relief, smiling. "Do you have the keys to this cage with you?"

"No, sorry princess. I thought you'd have them," she sighed, dejectedly. "Well, when I say 'you'd have them', I mean I thought they'd be somewhere near you."

"Has that black knight been defeated?" Cadence then asked.

"No, my companions are dealing with her," Derpy replied. "Do you have any idea how I can open this thing?"

"There's a fire poker over there!" Cadence immediately said, pointing a hoof at a nearby fireplace. With a salute, Derpy dashed up to it, grabbed the sharp-tipped stick of metal, and brought it back to the princess.

"What should I do with it?" she inquired, getting a better grip of it in her hoof. "I don't think it will be able to unlock your prison. It's too big!"

"Try and break the lock," Cadence suggested. "This metorite metal should only be as tough as normal earth metal. If I'm right, that poker will do the trick."

"Alright... here we go..." Derpy nodded. Grunting, she hefted the poker back in preparation to bring it down on the lock. With great effort, she swung it as hard as she could.

"Haha!" Undyne laughed wildly as she avoided another blast of pure ice that Blue sent from his hands, encasing the ground in a mound of fresh ice. "Now, this is a fight! This is a real fight! This is just like an anime I watched! Rumors about it not being real be damned!"

"Of course anime is real!" the still-angry Blue shouted, whilst the other knights just stayed in the corner and witnessed the two duking it out, placing bets on who the victor would be. Blue's fists impacted against Undyne's spear once again, sending jagged shards of freshly-shed ice to the ground. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"Lots of people told me it wasn't real back in my world!" she responded, as the two simultaneously broke off from their attack, each wishing to take a quick breather. "...But I still believe, and I shall remain believing. How couldn't it be nonexistent? The evidence is all right there!"

"I know, right? Orange and Green tell me otherwise, but I know that they're wrong." When Blue finished his sentence, he found himself interrupted from his chat as he felt a popcorn kernel bounce off of the side of his head.

"Hey!" Orange butted in from where he still stood, having thrown the object himself, as seen by the red-and-white-striped popcorn bag he was holding. "Get back to fighting!"

"Alright, alright..." Blue sighed. His palms glowing an eerie blue color once again, he formed more spheres of magical energy in them and started sending them out; throwing each like a pitcher at a baseball game. Undyne jumped back, avoiding everything coming her way with ease. As she bounced off of walls and prepared her own attack, one that would surely win her the day, there appeared to no end to her impressive agility.

Then, finally, one hit.

The iceball hit Undyne's spear, and the second it did, it began to freeze. She wasn't able to lift it and throw it before the ice crept onto her arm and froze it solid to her now ice-laden weapon. Feeling the sharp cold with a frustrated glare on her blue face, she stopped moving for but a second and landed on the floor to get a better look at the appendage.

"Why you little..." Undyne grunted in anger, as she attempted to break her arm out of the frozen casing, pounding it with her free left fist. When she failed that, she was only able to turn in time to feel a frozen sensation hit her legs, watching in horror as her entire body from the waist down was suddenly encased in more ice.

Like a statue, Undyne could not move. All the monster could do now was watch in horror as Blue reeled back and pitched one last wave of ice, aimed directly at her like a fastball. "Damn it..." she muttered moments before the attack impacted against her defenseless body. With what sounded like a mini-explosion, all of Undyne was utterly enveloped in a thick, transparent mound of ice, showing off her still, stunned expression.

"Stay cool, Gill-Girl," Blue quipped in a deep Austrian accent, much to the horrid chagrin of his three allies. He walked up to his frozen foe and knocked on the ice twice with the back of his knuckle before turning back and flashing a smile. As he walked back to his waiting comrades with a proud swagger in his strut, a familiar voice suddenly went out.

"Hey, guys!" it spoke. The knights turned their attention from each other and Undyne to the balcony above.

"Derpy!" Orange exclaimed upon seeing who it was. "Did you find the princess?"

"Yep!" she cheered, clapping her hooves together as a pink shape trotted up behind her. "Did you guys defeat that scary one-eyed monster lady?"

Blue raised a finger and was about to proudly announce his victory when Red came up behind him and violently shoved him to the ground. "Yep!" he said. "And I did it all by myself! These numbnuts - Blue especially - were completely useless. Isn't that right, Blue?"

"Awesome!" the pegasus applauded as Blue jumped back to his legs and sucker punched his crimson ally in the stomach. Derpy leapt from the balcony and took flight to the ground below, followed closely by the princess. "Princess Cadence, I'd like you to meet your rescuers. Their names are Red, Blue, Green, and Orange. They saved Princess Luna a little while ago before we came to get you."

"You have my deepest thanks for helping me to escape my imprisonment," the Princess said, bowing her head to them in gratitude as they stared back. "But I'm afraid there's no time to get to know you all at this moment. Somewhere in this castle, my h-"

Cadence found herself interrupted as each of the knights let out a sudden roar and pounced upon one another, savagely biting, kicking, and clawing one another, much to her utter surprise.

"SHE'S MINE!" they all screamed simultaneously, provoking Cadence to raise a brow of astonishment. Confused beyond measure at their antics, the alicorn looked to Derpy for guidance, but she simply let out a small and awkward smile as well as a shrug.

Making Some New Allies

"I WIN!" The sound of Blue's voice was as loud as the injured and defeated moans and wails of his three friends, who now lied on the ground. He walked past them and up to Princess Cadence with a look of pure glee on his face, kicking aside one of his comrades in the process.

He soon stood in front of Derpy and the princess. Bowing his head to the latter, he spoke; "Since I have bravely rescued you, might I be able to get a big kiss on the lips for my efforts? It is all I ask for thanks in my-"

"Sorry, I'm married," Cadence spoke back, quickly interrupting him and still visibly surprised by what had happened. In the background, the still-hurting Red could be heard laughing hysterically the moment he realized what she said.

"Oh. Oh! My apologies..." Blue said in an instantly regretful voice. "Could I... get a kiss on the forehead or something, at least?"

"I... guess that's acceptable," the princess agreed. Blue, with a much more passive expression, knelt down while Cadence approached and looked at him. With an unsure visage painted onto her face, she placed a small, quick peck on Blue's oversized, vaguely rectangular head, still wondering why this strange creature so desperately wanted one anyway.

"Heheheheee!" Blue laughed out loud as he jumped back to his feet, his pale cheeks now blushing red. His allies had recovered by the time he finished his reaction, eyeing him with jealous contempt.

"What happens now?" Derpy then asked, from where she stood behind the princess.

"Now we find my husband," Cadence responded. "I know he's held up somewhere within the castle, but I know not where. This place is enormous and has many hidden passages, so it could take us a fairly long while to find him."

"Are you suggesting that we ask the fish-person where he is?" Orange said, motioning to the frozen statue behind him.

"Yes," she replied, albeit in a reluctant tone.

"Hmph. Well then, let's bust her out..." Red sighed, lifting his mace. He started to approach Undyne, but Cadence saw what he was about to do before he could get too close.

"Don't do that!" she warned. "If you get her out like that it might shatter her."

"Oh," he said, turning back to her. "Then how do you propose I do it?"

"Please, allow me," Orange spoke in cocky form, pushing Red aside. Pulling his sleeves back, he rubbed his hands together and then let a small flame appear between them. Putting it to the ice, which was after he had leapt up to where Undyne's frozen face was, it slowly began to melt away into water, which dripped to the ground below until her now unfrozen face was peeking out. With a stiffness in its movement, Undyne appeared to shimmer back to consciousness.

"Ugh... what... what happened to me?" she asked quietly. She tried to move her body, but found it unresponsive, and soon came to the realization that she was fully encased in ice.

"You lost," Orange chuckled. "And we want some answers."

"Answers, eh?" she muttered, now more fully awake, focusing her one eye on the otherwise dwarfish figure right in front of her. "Why should I give anything to you?"

"Um... because you're working for a big, mean, evil dragon that we want to stop?" Derpy commented, lifting a hoof. Undyne raised a brow in confusion.

"Wait, so you're telling me that you guys are the good ones?" she questioned.

"Chya," Red scoffed. Undyne rolled her eye, which was one of the only appendages she could really move at the moment.

"Yeah, right. Give me proof," she demanded. Her view turned to Cadence, who stepped forward.

"What has that dragon told you?" the pink alicorn asked.

"That this land has been forcefully taken over by you evil 'alicorns'," she replied. "And in return for helping him get rid of you so that he could peacefully negotiate with the populace, he would send me and my friend back to our world."

"And what has he made you do?"

"Guard you, so that you can't use your magic to convince your people that he's evil."

"While he...?"

"Forcefully took over the land with... his armies."

"And where was his negotiating going to take place? Surely he was sending his armed, violent, and very dangerous creatures out to gather the ponies, when he could so easily fly to each town to talk to them himself?"

Undyne went silent. She hadn't really bothered to ask Sablewing why she didn't see very many pony soldiers while she was here, or why he sent huge regiments of soldiers out to neighboring villages just before sending her to this 'Crystal Empire' place, but she deemed such a question as being unimportant. She just wanted to get back home.

"And what would he plan on doing after? Did you expect him to not wish to become the lord over the land? Didn't it ever cross your mind that he might have been trying to use you as a means to an end, while he subjugated the ponies of the land himse-"

"Okay, okay!" Undyne suddenly interrupted. "I get it! The dumb lizard tricked me."

"So... does that mean you'll answer our question?" Green inquired.

"Yes," she said.

Hearing Undyne's words, Cadence still held her unwavering gaze as she talked. "Where is my husband, Shining Armor? You said a friend of yours was guarding him."

"Let me out and I'll show you," Undyne swiftly responded. "And please do it quickly. It's freaking cold."

After receiving a slow nod from Cadence and letting another flame, much larger than the last, appear in both of his hands, Orange set to melting the rest of the ice that was covering Undyne. It took a few minutes, but soon the last of it was a puddle on the crystal floor, and left Undyne free. She stretched her cold limbs out as each of the knights readied their weapons just in case the monster would go back on her word, but all Undyne did was brush her long, red, and greatly-soaked and disheveled ponytail back and stare at them.

"Follow me," she said, walking in the direction that led into the castle, passing in between them all. Shrugging to one another, the knights each did as she said, and were promptly followed in turn by the ponies.

It was fifteen minutes later that they all began to make their way through the old tunnels beneath the castle. As they moved about through the maze-like area, Derpy couldn't help but look around in awe of just how well-crafted the place was, as every wall seemed to gleam with the smooth crystal they were made of. She had always wanted to come and actually explore the Crystal Empire, but never really found the time to until now, however ironic that was. Suddenly, the pegasus was snapped out of her thoughts as she noticed each of her allies slowing down once they turned to another tunnel; one that ended in a wooden door.

A bout of interest went through her mind as they approached the door, and her head perked up the second she heard two voices go out through the air, both coming from behind it.

"NYEH HEH HEH! GOT ANY TWOS?" the first voice asked in a high-pitched laugh.

"Go fish," the other, much deeper one said. A sound of cards being shuffled around went out once the group neared it. With a sharp kick, Undyne sent the door swinging open, instantly revealing what lied within.

The first shape was a male unicorn with white fur and a blue mane, sitting in a cage with a set of cards held in his hooves. The second shape, a tall, lean, and very much humanoid-shaped skeleton was wearing a white, apparently custom-made torso piece with various golden trims while a large, scarlet, rag-like scarf was wrapped around his neck bones. It also was wearing a pair of blue briefs and long, red boots on its legs. In its red gloves, it too held a set of cards. Upon hearing the racket, both turned their heads from their game and looked to Undyne.

"UNDYNE," the skeleton greeted in a voice much too warm to dislike. "HOW ARE YOU? I'M JUST PLAYING A FEW ROUNDS OF GO FISH WITH THE PRISONER. HE'S REALLY GOOD."

"Hey, Papyrus," Undyne grunted back in reply. "I'm afraid to say that there's been a... change of plans."

"OOH. WHO ARE YOUR FRIENDS?" Papyrus asked as he witnessed the others start to enter from behind her like a group of ants emerging through two separate cracks in a wall. The second Shining Armor and Cadence saw each other, the latter ran up to him without a second though while the former expressed a face of both relief and concern.

"Cadence!" Shining said as their hooves touched each other. "Are you okay? That fish person hasn't hurt you, has she?"

"I'm fine, dear," she smiled back. "And... I think she just might be on our side now."

Pushing the crimson scarf that adorned his neck back, Papyrus wore a perplexed, though no less mirthful expression on his fleshless face as he examined the four knights and Derpy, rubbing his chin with a red, mitten-like glove that were of an equal shade as his boots. "HMM... YOU ALL CERTAINLY LOOK HEROIC. I CAN SEE WHY UNDYNE CHOSE TO LET YOU IN! GOOD TO MEET YOU ALL. I'M PAPYRUS."

"That dragon lied to us," the eyepatch-wearing monster sighed, placing a gauntleted hand on his shoulder as he finished his sentence, prompting him to turn his head to her. "These horse-things aren't the evil ones of this land, Sablewing is. He duped us into doing his dirty work for him."

A look of shock burst onto Papyrus's face, and he clasped his cheekbones. "I KNEW HE WAS UP TO NO GOOD! I JUST KNEW IT!" he exclaimed, before looking to Shining and Cadence. "I'M SUPER SORRY ABOUT LOCKING YOU UP, MR. ARMOR. HERE, LET ME GET YOU OUTTA THERE."

He took out a key from his pocket and set to opening up the cage. The moment it was unlocked and sent ajar with a loud squeaking noise of the hinges, Shining stepped out and properly hugged his wife in a loving embrace.

"Well, that makes two princesses," Green mentioned. "That means two are left."

"We were told to go for every princess before Celestia," Derpy went on. "Do you guys know where Sablewing locked up Princess Twilight?"

"I have no idea," Shining Armor mumbled in a dispirited way, looking to the gray pegasus.

"Neither do I," Cadence sighed. "I was out for a while after I encountered a trap in Canterlot. When I woke up, I was here."

"Shiitake mushrooms. That bounces us back to square one," Orange cursed, looking to the nearby alicorn as he stroked his chin. "Princess Luna said you might know after we rescued you. Since you don't, what do we do now?"

"If you guys are talking about that purple alicorn-thing, I know where she is," Undyne spoke up from the background, raising a hand. Everyone turned to her instantly with looks of extreme interest.

"Where?" Cadence inquired, walking up to the fish-esque monster with a curious expression.

"A few miles southward from here," she started, nonchalantly. "If I'm not mistaken, it will be about a day-or-two's travel on foot."

"And who, exactly, is guarding her?" Blue then asked.

Night, freshly drawing darkness and stars over the world like a curtain, had consumed the land in its still shadow. By extension, it had also blanketed the shape of a small castle; a twisted castle of smooth stone and brick.

Inside the castle's interior, lying in a large room, there was a jagged mound of rock that jutted up from the ground like a miniature mountain, and the blocky stairs lining it lead to a bent and warped throne that rested on its top. Sitting on it, its hands clasped together as if in deep thought, was a small figure whose features were mostly concealed by the dark. The only thing one with normal vision could see about him was that he was wearing a robe of sorts on his small body.

Over the small shape, a white orb of energy floated and spoke in the voice of Sablewing, clearly acting for him as a means of long-range communications.

"And you say that they bested all of the lackeys you summoned for me until now? Including that Undyne character?" the dragon asked next.

"Undyne and her associate were beaten yes..." the cloaked being slowly replied. "But not only that, but through my vision I have sensed that both have joined up with the ponies and their knights."

"You know of these four characters, don't you?" Sablewing spoke, noticing how he pronounced the final word in a hiss. The figure let out a small laugh.

"Yes... yes, I know who they are," he replied, stepping off of his cold, stony throne, and letting his feet touch onto the ground. "They were a plague when I first faced them. A thorn in my side that became infected before I could remove it. They most likely think me dead, but that gives me the advantage for when they inevitably come here."

"You sound like you think you can defeat them. Are you sure of that? They don't seem very phased by what you have done so far."

"The odds are in my favor for this upcoming fight. But make no mistake, dragon. When I finish them off, you shall be next to suffer. One does not simply instill one like I into your indentured servitude."

"Your lack if ability to harm me with your power makes that unlikely," Sablewing scoffed in a rightly-arrogant tone. "Or did you so quickly forget that the reason I was able to acquire your services so very easily was because of that fact? You know you cannot beat me, so don't even attempt to, lest you wish for an untimely demise."

"We shall see..." he puffed back. With those words, the glowing orb of energy from above him vanished into nothing, and the figure began to walk down from the rocky mound that was his lonesome throne.

Finishing the small descent, he came upon a similarly-sized shape that had been apparently waiting for him at the bottom. This new person looked like quite the foreboding individual with the way he had dark armor covering every inch of himself, from his big, horned, helmeted head to his legs; their colors all equally black as pitch. His red eyes peered out of the shadowy haze of the visor they were concealed in, staring intently at the outlined shape of his cloaked master.

The robed figure faced him and whispered something to his associate with an important vigor in its tone. With a small nod, a pair of metallic wings suddenly sprang up from the armored character's shape. Flapping them, he took to the air and vanished like a gust of wind. The robed one watched as he left, then resumed his trek to the other side of the room, where a large window lied.

"Come, brave warriors, and do come soon," he whispered, stepping into the moonlight that shined through his window, showing off his short body and the brown-and-red robe he was cloaked in, while the symbol of a yellow crescent moon lied on its chest. His eyes, glowing a malevolent yellow color, peeked out from the murky darkness that lied behind his hood, watching the desolate, lifeless landscape outside while a hand gripped a magic wand with great anticipation.

"A certain wizard awaits to seal your doom..."

Interview With a Campfire

With two more brave souls in tow, the fearless and righteous group set off from the Crystal Empire that same day. After a fair few hour's worth of travel, night soon fell and they all agreed to settle down. Upon chopping down some logs to sit on, then gathering a great many dry branches and blocks of wood, Orange proceeded to use his magic to start a fire.

Placing a pot full of water over the now-roaring flame, Papyrus had busily and cheerfully set to making a dinner of fresh spaghetti for his comrades. The skeleton had quickly become downright chummy with his new cohorts, who found his optimistic personality to be quite contagious. Within a short time, the warm smell of the food indicated that it was done, and Papyrus served it on paper plates he brought for such an occasion.

"That was yummy," Red complimented, licking the last of the tomato sauce with his tongue before tossing his plate into the fire upon finishing his meal.

"Are you sure?" Blue questioned, a look of disagreement painted on his face as he finished his own. "It tasted kind of bland an-"

A proper smack over the head by Green promptly shut him up before he could finish voicing his opinion. Papyrus appeared to not hear him, as his perpetual grin stayed glued on his face when he turned away to pull the empty pot off of the fire. When he was done that, he turned to the sack he had been carrying throughout the journey and yanked out something.

"WHO WANTS... MARSHMALLOWS?" he shouted, showing off the transparent bag. In enough unison to imitate a choir, everyone; pony, knight, monster or otherwise raised their hands and shouted "ME!" Chuckling, Papyrus plucked out several marshmallows, tossing them to everyone in a pattern from left to right. Upon finding a few sticks lying around the woodpile, most of them began to cook the puffy sweets over the fire while a select few simply ate them raw.

"Since we're all around a campfire sharing such yummy treats, why don't we share stories about ourselves as well?" Derpy asked, her voice partially muffled by the sticky stuff currently in her mouth. "I'll go first, if none of you mind."

Swallowing the marshmallow (after some visible effort), the pegasus began her short tale as most of the group around the campfire listened in. "Before this dragon-guy came, I was just a simple pegasus mailmare living in Ponyville. I have a funny, but inventive and loving husband who's also a doctor, and an adorable daughter named Dinky."

"My turn," Undyne heartily started, once she was sure Derpy had finished, placing her cup of tea down nearby. "Back in the world Papyrus and I live in, the Underground, I started out life as a trainee for the royal guard dedicated to our king, King Asgore Dreemur. Now, I'm one of the mightiest warriors in the land, and head of the royal guard itself!" She formed a spear and struck a heroic pose on the log she was previously sitting on, causing a small bout of impressed chuckling to go out among the band. She soon let the spear disappear, sat down, and picked her cup back up, happily joining in on the laughter.

"AND I'M ASPIRING TO BECOME A MEMBER OF IT," Papyrus spoke next, lifting his marshmallow up to himself and blowing the flame out on it. "ALL I HAVE TO DO IS CATCH A HUMAN! ALAS, IF ONLY THEY WERE MORE PLENTIFUL... OH! AND I HAVE A BROTHER NAMED SANS. HE MAKES A BIT MORE PUNS THAN I CAN HANDLE AT TIMES, BUT I LOVE HIM."

He suddenly gave a curious expression and rubbed his chin, staring at the knights. "SAY... ARE YOU ALL HUMANS? YOU KINDA SORTA LOOK LIKE THEM."

"Oh, um... no," Green lied. "And now that I'm talking, why don't I go before any of you mugs egg me on. I'm just a part-time alchemist, but a full-on knight that graduated with highest honors at knight college. That's where I met these three guys, in case none of you knew. That's pretty much all I'll share. Red?"

He bumped the titular knight's shoulder, gaining his attention. After laughing to himself, Red rubbed the back of his head with a hand. "Me? Ah, shucks... alright," he started in a bashful manner. "I'm just a guy who was born to a tribe of traders in the north. My dad's a trade lord there, and when he saw my tenacity to UTTERLY DECIMATE, PILLAGE, AND DESTROY ANYTHING IN MY WAY TO DEATH, he told me I'd make a good knight and sent me south. Been there ever since until, well, now I guess."

Blue rubbed his fingers together. "My life's nothing too special. I grew up in an old kingdom in the west as the eighteenth son of an esteemed duke. To tell you guys the truth, I was born under a rather embarrassing name."

"Blue's not an embarrassing name," Derpy mentioned.

"That's not my real name!" Blue said in his typical cheeky way. "You actually thought that? It's just the titles we go by now, though I must say that I haven't heard my real name uttered by anyone for longer than I can remember. Thank goodness for that, heh."

"...And I guess that just leaves me." Orange's voice sounded surprisingly solemn. He lowered his head and took in a deep breath before raising it again. "I grew up in a rural town far away from the kingdom where I now live. My entire family line was centered in the art of baking. My dad was a baker, my grandfather was a baker, my great-grandfather was a baker, my great-great-grandfather was a baker... you get it."

"But by the looks of it, you became a knight," Undyne commented, putting her cup of tea down again, listening intently to what Orange was saying. "Why?"

"Because I felt like I could do more than just make bread for a living," he sighed. "After a heated argument with my dad, he... he disowned me when I told him that I was heading out of the country to attend knight college."

Everything was silent when he finished, save for the crackling of the wood in the fire. After a few seconds, Undyne coughed into her fist.

"I think we'd all do ourselves well by getting some sleep," she spoke. "We should make it to the castle by midday tomorrow, and whoever we see there is probably not going to give up without a fight."

Quickly nodding in agreement, everyone soon set about taking out their sleeping bags after letting a short bit of time pass. Fitting herself into her own, Derpy thought deeply about what Orange said, taking a peek at him from where she lied, only to discover that he was already sound asleep; cradling his axe in his clutches as a foal would a teddy bear. The image stayed in Derpy's head even as the warm feeling of the dying fire lulled her to sleep a few minutes later...

Everyone awoke early in the morning when the first rays of yellow sunlight showed upon them all through the clouds and over the damp grass. After eating a small breakfast and packing away their supplies, the team continued on with their trek through the countryside, unimpeded by the forested terrain. With Undyne pointing the way, they found venturing through the unkempt wilderness to be far easier than anticipated.

Derpy flew above the others, looking out for any possible oncoming dangers with her mismatched eyes. But as she flapped her feathered wings, she couldn't help but think of what Orange had told about himself the night before. Letting out a sigh, she lowered herself to the ground beside the Orange Knight and tapped on his shoulder with a hoof.

"Something on your mind?" he asked, turning to her. She rapidly nodded her head.

"What you said about yourself last night... I didn't know that much about you," Derpy whispered to him. Orange let out a small laugh.

"It's nothing very major," he said back. "I don't let something that small keep me down. I've found all happiness I want just crashing castles with my fellow knights."

He pointed to Red, Green, and Blue when he finished, each of which were traveling just ahead of Derpy and himself, and the three appeared to be saying something to one another. Orange went on; "They're the greatest friends I could ask for. Let me tell you, we've been together through everything. They're practically my brothers."

He smiled to the pegasus, who then smiled back, just before the sound of Undyne's voice went out from far in the front. "There's the castle!"

Turning their attention to her and making haste, everyone ran up to the ledge they saw she was upon, and witnessed the old tower that lied far away, which seemed to bear both an aura of abandoned wretchedness and venerability due to its aged appearance. Red was practically vibrating in excitement as his (for some reason) bloodshot eyes laid sight on it.

"Last one down's a rotten egg!" he cried out, jumping from the ledge and sliding down. Shrugging, the rest of the knights and adventurers followed suit, racing to get to the castle's entrance.

As soon as it began, everyone slowed to a crawl as they actually entered the final area between them and the tower. Not out of tiredness mind you, but because of the stony ruins they could see were now blocking their path. The place looked utterly desolate; not unlike what it appeared to be at first in the Crystal Empire, only there were no smaller buildings. It was just shattered ruins that lined a broken dirt road that in turn lead to the large castle in the short distance. As they started to wander through them together, Derpy felt a shiver of unease go down her spine.

"This place is making me feel jittery," she anxiously said. "I travel everywhere when I deliver mail, but I've never been here before. Even the Castle of the Two Sisters isn't as weird as this place."

"Have no fear," Red commented, patting Derpy on her gold-maned head, causing her to give a look of annoyance. "If anything comes by, I'll make sure to give it a good whack! Wait a second... what's that?"

Red had suddenly pointed to a tall arch looming above the path just ahead of them, and on there, perched on the crescent-shaped, moss-covered object like a vulture was the dark shape of a well-armored figure bearing a set of horns on its black-helmeted head. It took the knights a moment to realize who it was when the sun passed through the cloud and illuminated the shape, but the second they did, they each opened their eyes in shock, surprise, and anger.

"Necromancer..." Green growled, unsheathing his sword at the same time as his took out theirs. As Undyne and Papyrus began to form the same idea in their heads, the Necromancer, unfolding his arms, let out an unimpressed huff.

"Brave knights and warriors, welcome..." he greeted in a deep, uninviting tone, stretching his forelimbs out as his wings opened over his back. Flapping them in a single, brief motion, he flew directly over from where he once stood, letting his red eyes gaze at his foes menacingly as he pulled his equally-dark, jagged, evil sword out and pointed it at them.

"Yes, welcome... to DIE!"

The Undead's Bite

The Necromancer remained flying far above everyone, laughing in a demented manner. Everyone may have been eyeing him suspiciously, but the four knights were completely glaring at him with an unforgiving leer.

"What are you doing here, Necromancer?" Green was the first to inquire, taking a step forward as he did so. "I thought we killed you when we last met. You remember, do you not?"

"Death is but an obstacle," the Necromancer quietly voiced, his metal wings still flapping behind him. "An obstacle easy for one such as I to overcome, but for you... a permanent demise."

"The king told us you were a knight of the light once," Blue spoke up, devoid of his usual humor. "You do not have to fight us. Return from whence you came."

"Fellow knight... You should know that there is no light in our simple sight," he began to speak much more darkly. "There is only night, and the undead's bite. Rejoice and tremble, ye little farrow. For jaws shall sunder your flesh and SNAP YOUR MARROW!"

With his sudden roar, the Necromancer's evil sword lit up with an unholy red energy that gave each watching an eyesore from the sheer amount of vileness it possessed. Arcs of lightning crackled and seeped down from it, striking the ground surrounding each of them in multiple spots. No sooner had the storm of forbidden magic began, it settled, only to be followed by the feeling of the earth shaking.

Without warning, wretched screams and banshee cries lit the air, freezing the blood in Derpy and the others' veins. With a crunching of dirt, long, bony claws and hooves emerged from the ground, pulling out similar bodies. The beings, all skeletons belonging to ponies, kobolds, and a select few other creatures set off toward the warriors that stood before them without an order, gibbering and groaning mindlessly as their rotted teeth gnashed together, rusted weapons or limbs raised for battle.

"A plague of woes, a plague of blight. A plague of horrors is what you shall fight," the Necromancer said again in a haunting tone as the horde of undead creatures oozed closer. "And in the end, when you are lying dead upon the ground, broken and shattered, what little remains of this field will be naught but silence... and my laughter."

Seeing no other alternative, everyone quickly readied themselves for the upcoming conflict. Crying out in tortured moans or chattering their teeth together in a hideous way, the undead beings lurched forward toward the warriors, arms, hooves, or weapons outstretched to grab and harm. Papyrus gave a nervous look as they neared ever so closer.

"UM... UNDYNE, I'M NOT WORRIED OR ANYTHING, BUT THESE SKELETONS DON'T SEEM TO BE VERY... FRIENDLY," he said, clutching his sack a little tighter. "ANY IDEA ON WHAT TO DO?"

"Get ready to defend yourself..." was all she warned, forming a spear in one of her hands and getting into a combative position. "I don't think these things are like you or Sans."

"OH... OKAY." He tossed the bag he was holding to the ground with a clutter and got into a similar stance as his friend. While he did so, the Necromancer chuckled again, and Undyne gritted her teeth as she looked up to him. The first wave of the undead aberrations finally met steel with bone as she decided what she wanted to do first.

Letting out a shout, Undyne threw her spear at the knight in black armor, but the Necromancer easily dodged the oncoming projectile by flying to the right. Letting more electrical energy arc from his sword to the ground below, the dusty brown grass and coarse dirt parted violently, revealing more undead beings that were ready to serve their new master with unyielding loyalty.

Red smashed away another pony skeleton with his mace, shattering its bony shape like a marble statue before stretching his palm out and unleashing a quick bolt of lightning at a nearby kobold skeleton whose tarnished armor bore a weary complexion. It fell to the ground as a limp, charred, smoking mess after the attack had subsided, but then got back up and shambled forward with new life, only to be struck down for good by a flung object that was a glowing bone, thrown by Papyrus.

"SORRY!" he apologized to the wretched creature in a completely sincere tone. A large undead pony suddenly came up behind him and grabbed ahold of his arm. It opened its jaws to bite down on the bare limb, but by then Papyrus had formed another magical bone in his gloved hands and swung at it, knocking its head completely off.

"OH, I'M SOOO SORRY ABOUT THAT!" he apologized again, as if horrified by what he had done as he watched its dismembered cranium roll away. In the air nearby, Derpy could only watch as he friends continued their fight.

They each looked like they were doing good, felling dozens of decaying skeletons with every second, but when a quick few minutes went by, the pegasus noticed they were beginning to tire amongst the field of bones they were rapidly becoming buried under.

The army of the dead bore heavy casualties, but with every undead that fell, three more seemed to take its place. Not only that, but some of the skeletons that did fall simply got right back to their feet with the aid of the Necromancer's magic.

Speaking of which, Derpy's eyes suddenly went to the Necromancer as he spoke up, clearly amused by how the fight was slowly inching into his favor. "You all fight well, but I'm afraid this fight must end..."

With his words, he silently dove through the air in a swoop with his weapon in hand, straight toward Orange, who was busily fending off another of the attacking creatures below. Orange let out a yowl as the blade sliced cleanly through his shoulder and he clutched at it in pain, dropping his shield in the process as the Necromancer flew off once more, cackling to himself.

"Orange!" Derpy cried out, dropping from the sky to intercept his hurting form. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine..." he grunted. Reaching into his pocket, he yanked out a small bottle that the pony could see was filled with a red liquid. Popping its cork off with his teeth, he spat it away and downed the drink with a chugging motion. With a bewildered expression, Derpy watched with astonishment as his wound began to heal until it was sealed up as well as it was before.

"Healing potion," he chuckled, picking his axe back up. He did so just in time to swing it behind himself, cleaving an approaching skeleton in two before it even had the chance to strike at him or Derpy. "Got any ideas on what to do now?" he asked next.

"No..." she sadly replied. "I've been trying to use my head, but with all these things running around at you guys, I just can't think right."

Then it struck her like lightning. "That's it!" she exclaimed, poking her helmet with a hoof. "I'll use my head!"

Before Orange could ask what she meant, Derpy took off into the air again, headed straight for the side of the battlefield where the Necromancer's flying shape wasn't facing. Once she was fully behind him, Derpy could see the unwitting warrior of evil still wasn't weary of her presence, most likely ignoring one whom he thought was not a threat. Mustering up all the strength and bravery she could, the pegasus bolted toward him and unleashed a defiant shout in an attempt to mimic what boisterous noises her knightly allies made on a regular basis. Then, with a physical feeling that sent a mighty tremor through her body, she hit him.

The Necromancer let out a cry that sounded more surprised than pained as the metal spike from the tip of Derpy's helmet erupted from his chest. His red eyes narrowing, he used his wings to shake himself about until Derpy was thrown off of himself, torn away from her helmet. Placing his hand on the spiked tip of the headgear, the Necromancer pushed it out slowly, letting it fall to the ground below as the hole in his chest slowly filled up with armor and whatever lied underneath it; mended by unearthly magics.

Clearly dazed, he drifted to the ground below in an effort to catch his breath, which was seen by Red from a short distance away as he wiped a bead of sweat from his large forehead. Formulating something in his less-than-sane mind, he looked to Papyrus nearby, who was just finishing fending away a few more attackers.

"Hey, Papyrus, this may be a bit of an odd question at an odd time, but by chance do you still have some of that leftover spaghetti from last night?" he inquired.

"UM... YEAH, I THINK," he responded, before motioning to the satchel on the ground behind him. "IT'S IN THE BAG OVER THERE!"

With a salute of thanks, Red ran to the bag and began to quickly sift through it. He looked around for a bit, but when he found what he was looking for, he promptly started to mash them together in an effort to make something new. While he worked fruitfully, Green stumbled nearby, finishing off a kobold skeleton wielding a scimitar by bashing its head in viciously with a rock, having lost his sword a few moments back in the ensuing chaos of the scuffle.

"Red, just what are you doing?" Green panted, taking a second off from the battle to look at his ever-vexing ally. Red, trading a mischievous glance back, shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh, nothing. Just making a beef-spaghetti sandwich!" he cried out, hoisting the object of which he spoke about into the air. As his friends and allies turned their views and gaped in awe of its awesome sight, the Necromancer, who sat in a kneeling position all the way across the battlefield, was also feeling something he hadn't felt since time immemorial.

Sudden, crippling fear.

"Hey, Necrophiliac! Guess what?!" the crimson warrior was practically screaming at the top of his lungs. "I've got a little surprise for you! And by little, I mean not little at all!"

With a savage bite, Red devoured a large chunk of the sandwich and tossed what little remained of it away. The moment his rapid chewing ceased and he swallowed his food, the knight let out a booming roar that could have shook the heavens themselves. Heaps of muscle and raw sinew formed and burst forth all over his body, and while his clothes and armor held perfectly, revealing no flesh in the process, his size increased dramatically. What was once a short individual was now a hulking brute whose beefed-up arms were flexed out and ready to bury themselves in the bodies of his enemies.

Grinning maliciously, Red looked ahead with an excited gaze. Upon spotting the Necromancer, he smiled and uttered only five words in a voice as deep and resonating as an earthquake before his assault formally started.

"I'm going to punch you!"

Kneeling over and getting into a racing stance, he kicked off from where he stood with a near-godly power, tearing up clumps of earth and rock in the process. A faint shockwave of force went out among Red's allies as he zoomed by them at a blinding speed, swatting away or trampling any skeleton that happened to be in his way, which was a lot considering how just about every single one was in front of him. The Necromancer only had enough time to shakily get to his feet when Red reared his fist of justice back and sent it at him.

The punch connected, impacting directly in the armored stomach of the Necromancer, lifting him from the air as the fist curled and turned upward. Coughing as the cannon-sized fist dug deep, hitting him in the already-damaged lungs, the Necromancer spat out black blood onto Red's fist. With a finishing swing and an animalistic roar, the punch threw the Necromancer away like a ragdoll, where he slammed into an old stone column nearly twenty feet away, breaking through it and sending both him and the rubble to the ground in a cloud of dust.

Pushing one of the giant pieces of the column off of him with a great deal of effort and a heavy thud, the Necromancer arose from the dirt and dusted himself off, only to be met with the shape of the crimson crusader whom did it to him when he looked forward.

"If you... if you think I am done, then you are wrong," he muttered defiantly, staring up at Red's hulking form. He quietly and slowly raised his sword in preparation to defend himself. While he did so, Red simply cracked his knuckles.

"What are you waiting for? Come at me," the Necromancer began again, beckoning Red to engage him. "Come at me with all you have, and meet your fate at the end of my blade."

The thunder of destroyed stone went out as the Necromancer was thrown through the front doorway of the castle, sending both doors off their hinges and scattering what was left of them across the room as measly pebbles. The Necromancer himself slid, flipped, and rolled about before finally sputtering to a stop, face held to the marble floor.

Entering the castle not far behind was Red and the others. The moment the Necromancer was thrust into the castle, all the skeletons behind them seemed to crumble and fall, his concentration on keeping them animated lost. With their enemy clearly defeated, as seen by how he was no longer moving, they had no trouble with entering the tower in a rather proud strut. Red himself started to shrink as he skipped up to the Necromancer, the effects of the sandwich wearing off and returning him to his previous size.

"Not so tough now, are ya?" he chuckled, remorselessly kicking the limp fiend in the thigh. The second Red did the deed, the Necromancer's eyes snapped open. Bellowing in a sore tone, he jumped to his feet before the now-startled group, and made a beeline forward in a limp.

"Get him!" Undyne exclaimed a few moments later, pointing a finger at him as he started to flee to the nearby spindly staircase. Without further instruction, everyone charged, giving chase to the knight in very-dented black armor.

Do You Believe in Magic? (No, I Believe in Quantifiable Physics)

"They are coming..." the Necromancer spoke to the hooded figure whom he kneeled before. It was not even thirty seconds after he outran his pursuers, and he managed to keep them temporarily at bay by slamming every door he came across shut on them. While he took in deep, choked breaths, he could hear the enraged fists of his pursuers slamming against the final door, which lied a few dozen meters behind him. "I am injured, my master. What shall I do?"

"Just leave them to me now, my valued servant," the Evil Wizard said evilly as he clasped his evil hands together upon his evil throne in an evil manner, all while evil thoughts coursed through his evil mind, already planning what evil things he wanted to do to his next victims with the evil implements he had planned out with evil care. Evilly. "Rest yourself up and heal your wounds. You have done enough."

He raised his wand overhead, and the tip glowed briefly. After the magical being swished it around twice in an almost fully halfhearted gesture, the Necromancer kneeling before him vanished like a dissolving cloud of smoke, just as the door was knocked down with a quaking groan and thunderous smash, the hinges giving way at long last. Seven figures entered, nearly scrambling over each other to enter the room, and once they had adjusted better, their wandering eyes all eventually met the figure watching them invade his room.

Each of the knights' faces were squinted in pure rage at who they saw. Derpy, Undyne, and Papyrus could practically hear them squeeze their knuckles over their unsheathed weapons in anger. The wizard whom they expressed such emotion to didn't seem to share it in reply, and he even possessed a most calm attitude to his being.

"Welcome at long last, my old enemies," he greeted, stretching his small arms out in a faux expression of goodness and charity. "I see you've all been busy saving the land and rescuing damsels in a most violent fashion. How incredulously dull and pointless, wouldn't you say?"

"The last time we met, you were falling through the air from what remained of your last castle," Green went on. "How are you still living?"

"I fell for a while, I'll admit that much," the squat robed sorcerer replied, pacing down from his hill-sized throne's steps, echoes accompanying each step until he reached the final one, bringing about only silence. "But I have methods of which I'm not at liberty to mention."

"What a terrible story," Red scoffed. "When will it end?"

"End? How can there be an end so soon, when we've only reached," he lifted his now-glowing wand sharply, "the climax."

With the spell he cast, the ground below them shook and quaked with the likes of the earth bearing an upset stomach. With a motion of being heaved upward, not unlike what one would feel on an elevator, all could sense that the castle they were inside of was no longer grounded; the sound of dirt far below them crunching as it was torn from its foundation like the roots of a tree. Upon being the first to gain his footing, Papyrus hastily dashed to a nearby window and shot his bare head out of it.

"UM... IT APPEARS AS THOUGH THE GROUND IS SHRINKING," he stated worriedly. "EITHER THAT, OR WE'RE GOING UP."

By this point, everyone else had also gotten a better balance. All the Evil Wizard did while he waited for them to recover was just stand there ...MENACINGLY! with a bland expression and wand by his side, as if waiting for them to attack first. Putting his own large, blunt instrument into his hands, Red obliged him and dashed forward.

"As I hate hell, all Montagues, and thee. Have at thee, coward!" he shouted, bringing it down upon his smaller shape, only to feel a strong force, not unlike a slab of raw iron, stop it. Confused, Red tried to discover what prematurely halted his attack, and saw that he had hit a large bubble that was enveloping the Evil Wizard in a blue glow. It stopped him like a wall, and the expression on the wizard's face looked quite unperturbed. Casually poking him in the gut with the yellow tip of his wand, the wizard cast another spell that threw Red off of him; blasting him away and against a wall in the far corner like a bellowing ragdoll.

Orange chucked several fireballs at the Wizard in reaction at seeing what had happened, but the orb surrounding him, which had changed into a red color, deflected each shot harmlessly. Reeling his wand back and pointing it forward again, a burst of pure, invisible force flew out at a rapid velocity, slapping the hapless knight off of his feet as if he were naught but a tin toy soldier before a toddler.

As Undyne, Blue, and Papyrus ran in fearlessly to confront their foe themselves, Green decided not to follow in his comrades' approach to the situation, and ducked behind a table he had just upturned. Looking about, ignoring the puling and pained cries of his friends, he spotted a hallway he had not noticed before, hidden a fair distance behind the Evil Wizard's throne. Looking beside him, he saw that Derpy had joined him, clearly unsure on what to do.

"Derpy, you said that the princess imprisoned here specializes in magic, yes?" Green hurriedly inquired to the pegasus. She nodded her head rapidly, letting her blonde mane swish up-and-down as well, like a wave.

"Yep! Well, that and friendship," she replied. "Why do you ask?"

"I think we could use her expertise in a battle such as this," he said again, taking a brief peek from his cover, only to duck down again as he heard the sound of something wooden shatter to splinters from just in front of them; no doubt collateral damage that had been thrown by the wizard's last attack so far. He peeked over and yelled something at the nearest ally within earshot. "Guys, me and Derpy are going to explore around here a bit. Is that fine with you?"

Blue had been tossed back, and was currently lying face-down nearby. With a moan, he lifted his head and looked at Green with a small glare. "Ugh... okay. But you better get back here soon!" he muttered in a semi-scold. Nodding sarcastically, Green abandoned his cover and made way for the hall on the other side of the room, Derpy flying after him in pursuit.

As the two ran off, the Evil Wizard was finding himself at odds with his attackers. He had to continue to adjust between his spell shield and physical damage shield at a great rapidity, if only to keep each attack off of him as he returned with his own. Finally, as the bubble around him had just flashed to red, Undyne, who was standing behind him and waiting for her moment to strike, did so. Her water spear swished forth, walloping the Evil Wizard upside the back of his hooded end with its blunt side, knocking him to the ground with a shriek of pain and sending his wand from his hand.

With a sickly flicker of yellow, the shield finally dissipated into nothingness. Undyne pointed her spear downard and thrust it in the same direction as her teeth became bared, intending to finish him in a swift motion. Her attack never landed though, for the wizard shouted something ominously indiscernible, and everyone nearby him was blown back by a bright flash, followed only by a whirlwind of magic. By the time each had recovered, adjusted to the room's lighting, and looked back at their foe, they saw something quite startling taking place.

A sword appeared, floating above everyone out of thin air. It bore the appearance of a raging, wolf-headed demon at its glimmering, flaming, razor-edged tip, while the base of it had a band of cloth wrapped around it. As if it had a will of its own, the demonic weapon began to float toward the Evil Wizard's outstretched hand, and the moment it made contact, the very atmosphere of the room seemed to change.

"I think I'll just skip the formalities and get straight to business, if you dunces don't mind," he said, the entire pitch of his once higher-than-normal voice sinking low. "Heh. The funny thing is, I know of great magic that causes others envy and sorrow. I bear the pleasure of carrying knowledge within my mind that would drive lesser creatures to insanity. But none of it... none of my lessons in the arcane and sorcerous excites me more than using this blade. THIS DEMON BLADE!"

He held it overhead, and screaming flames began to surround him, growing higher with every passing second. "RRRAAAAGGHHHHH!" the Evil Wizard roared while lifting the glowing demon sword high above with a newfound strength and vigor to his form, an inferno of fire and brimstone jutting off of it like a geyser, and enough heat radiating off of it to convince a blind person that they stumbled into a sauna. Glaring back at his enemies with his yellow, malevolent eyes, the Wizard brought it down in a single, powerful motion, and what could only be described as an impossibly gigantic pillar of orange energy went streaking from it across the room in a manner akin to the blade of a knife running through a birthday cake.

The beam homed in on where Blue and Papyrus were standing. With mutual shrieks of startled fear, the two only barely managed to jump out of its trajectory by separating from each other, allowing it to fly by between them at but a hair's distance and impact against the wall behind them. An explosion louder than thunder at point-blank sounded, and the part of the brick wall that was once there simply ceased to be. What was seen by everyone when the smoke parted, however, was a blue sky and a few clouds were now exposed to them all, shown through a large hole.

The Evil Wizard brought his sword back, more than ready to use it again. Red and Undyne had already started for him, mace and spear held and ready to inflict pain in their respective hands. Upon reaching the wizard, they simultaneously brought them down on his hooded shape. The Evil Wizard turned to them as he noticed their activity, and with as much care as a refined lord backhanding a lesser person of disinterest, he slashed his sword at them in a speedy, fiery display, punting them both back a fair ways. Undyne landed gracefully on her feet and flicked her crimson hair back with an annoyed breath, while Red smashed into a bookshelf, shattering the wood that made it up into meager splinters.

"We've gotta hold this creep off until Green and that pegasus get back with the princess," Undyne stated as Papyrus, Blue, and Orange ran to her and stood by her side, while Red dug himself out of the mound he was buried under. She formed another spear in her hand and got ready to lunge forth once more. "Together, everyone! With feeling! NGAAAH!"

There was only one door at the end of the long hallway Green and Derpy had spent the last five minutes running down. Without even consulting one another on how to open it, the pair barged through the wooden entrance, entering a pitch-black room.

There she sat, the princess, Twilight Sparkle, her winged back facing them from the lonely cage she sat inside of in otherwise complete darkness. Hearing the commotion, the purple alicorn shot her head in the opposite direction, and gave off what Green could only describe as the happiest face he had ever seen.

"Th-thank Celestia you found me!" she couldn't help but sigh in utter relief when they ran to her. "I almost thought I'd be trapped here forever! H-how are my friends doing? Do either of you know? They're alright, right?"

"They are A-okay, princess!" Derpy confirmed. "They've been protecting Ponyville while these knight-guys and I have been out rescuing the other princesses and yourself."

As she finished her sentence, Green had just completed breaking through the lock with the hilt of his sword. As soon as it noisily fell to the stone floor, the door creaked open and Twilight walked out, stretching her wings out in a way as if she had never done so before. With a hum, she let out an impressed look and rubbed a hoof over her chin. "You guys defeated the wizard, right? I sensed he was powerful, but by the looks of it, you must have-"

A powerful tremor that shook the entire building went out, interrupting her. Derpy chuckled as it ceased. "Um... we didn't beat him yet," she said. "He's probably still fighting the others. It's why Green and I came looking for you, so you could try to help us with him."

Twilight's expression instantly went serious. "We have to go now, then. Before someone gets seriously hurt."

"But he seems so much more powerful here than when we faced him back in our world. He's and old enemy of ours, see," Green explained in a manner that conveyed nothing but frustration and rage. "Even with you, I don't think we have a surefire chance of outmuscling him in the field of magic, and..." He looked to his left and found himself facing the princess's cage. A toothy smile, ever so slowly, began to etch onto his face, soon forming a grin that ran from ear to ear.

"...And I now have an idea."

Twilight, Derpy, and the Green Knight each flew through the dank hallways with speed to rival a bolt of lightning in motion. As the two ponies flapped their wings from ahead, Green was sprinting just behind them with the large cage the princess was formerly in hoisted over his back. Derpy didn't question how a such a comparatively smaller being like himself managed the feat, but she knew he was tiring from the taxing effort, as heard by the guttural wheezing that came with each step in the knight's effort to stay with them.

The sight of light - not the orange glow of the torches surrounding the hall, but true sunlight, no doubt from one of the exploded walls - came into view after a few minutes of running. Without a moment to lose, the three emerged from the cold hallway and entered the throne room once again, to find the sight of utter carnage and destruction lying like broken glass before them.

The throne was now nothing more than a pile of rubble; utterly desolated from what could only be guessed as collateral damage. With simple breaths the three could smell a small fire had started somewhere in the room, filling it with the smell of burning wood and molten rock. The injured, moaning bodies of the brave fighters were scattered about everywhere in the room, and finally, standing in between them all and cackling at his handiwork, was the Evil Wizard.

He looked weary with the demon sword clenched tightly in his palms, his chest expanding heavily as if he had given a lot of effort in using it. Infuriated at what he had wrought in her wake, Twilight reeled back on her hind legs, her horn glimmering with a bright purple color, and blasted forth a bolt of pink lightning as she shouted.

As the magic struck with unnerving accuracy, the Evil Wizard's sword was blown out of his grasp by the burst, sending it sliding to the other side of the room. Before the surprised sorcerer could fret about it any further, Twilight had sent another, much more solid and extended stream at him, forcing him to turn his full attention on it and catch the beam in his palms with a growl. His entire body lighting up in a red glow, the Evil Wizard began to form his own, crimson beam, and he pushed it back at Twilight.

"You hold him here just like that, and I'll be right back!" Green ordered, before turning his full attention to the cage he had been carrying. With a grunt, he tried to lift it, but to his tired ire, he found himself out of breath. He turned to Derpy with a pleading expression. "Derpy, come with me! I have need of you!"

"Um... okay," she said back in a hesitant manner, before looking to Twilight a final time. "Good luck, princess! I have faith in you!" With those parting words that served well in comforting the princess, she flew to Green, grabbed the cage by its top, and together they both began to heave it elsewhere.

Everyone that had been previously blown back shakily returned to their feet and eyed the beam battle happening before them. With a cry of "Get him!" from Red, a new assault was proposed and passed with a unanimous bout of rapid movement and upturning of debris from all corners. Lifting their swords, spears, axes and bones, everyone sprinted at their foe with deafening battle cries, but as they reached him, they were thrown back again by a shockwave of fire that exploded in a ring from the hooded maniac; sent out by will upon hearing them grow near.

"My power is unparalleled!" the Evil Wizard was now shrieking insanely as a final pulse began to expunge from his form, causing Twilight to growl and grunt; a bead of sweat falling from her forehead as she struggled with all her might to fight against the that was slowly overtaking her own, all while the wizard continued his rambling tirade. "My power is unlimited! NO ONE CAN MATCH ME! NOT EVEN THE PRINCESS OF FRIENDSHIP AND ELEMENT OF MAGIC HERSELF! HERE, I AM A GOD! MUAHAHAHAHA-"

He was so preoccupied with chortling out his maddened laughter that he failed to notice a pair of green and grey shapes that were tiptoeing behind him. Holding three of his fingers out as they were less than a foot behind him, Green counted down to Derpy, who watched with great excitement on her cross-eyed face. As he reached zero, Green yanked open the cage's door, and the two thrust it forward.

"...HAHA- What the-?" the wizard cried out in utter surprise as he found himself become enveloped in the small prison, and saw his beam of magic begin to fade and smother like a candle; the cage's metal severely weakening his power the second Green kicked its door shut. Seeing that she now had full control over the situation, Twilight unleashed the fullest extent of her abilities against him fearlessly.

Twilight's attack quickly overcame her enemy's, and it quickly sped to him like a missile, as he could only watch. Then, as if forgetting all he was worried about, the Evil Wizard's calm composure returned, and he let loose a grin as he whispered something to himself in a tone only he could hear.

"Well played, fools."

Then the stream hit, enveloping him completely in its purple haze. The lower portion of the cage, where most of the beam had touched, seemed to disappear entirely in the attack. It was only when the magic finally faded did everyone see what had transpired for their foe. Blue scratched his head in surprise as he looked into the cage with widened eyes.

"He's... gone?" he inquired, upon seeing the emptiness of the cage. "Whoa. Hey, princess, I think you disintegrated him. You sure were going ham with that blast, weren't you?"

"I... I wasn't trying to hurt him!" Twilight denied, running up to see for herself, spotting the same result. "That spell wouldn't have been strong enough to hurt anypony! It was made for paralysis."

"Perhaps he teleported out," Green suggested with a shrug, opening the cage and looking through it. "Methinks he made the things himself, therefore he would know how to get around their 'anti-magic stuff', but that's just my guess."

"UM... EITHER WAY, IF HE'S GONE, THEN... WHO'S HOLDING THE CASTLE UP?" Papyrus pointed out with a gloved hand. Very, very slowly, but also very, very surely, everyone's heads slowly looked up from the cage and looked directly at him. Blue was the first to act, breaking the stunned look he shared with the rest of the team.

He took a deep breath, raised a finger, and exhaled a single syllable before a dull expression of acceptance stretched over his face like a bland, colorless tarp. "Oh."

And then they fell.

Prelude to the Final Battle

Rammus, the Armordillo, walked along the path by a small lake with a sense of tranquility in his strut. He had spent a long enough time in this land of green and polite equines, but as of recent times, he longed to return to the world of Runeterra. He missed his desert of home of Shurima, where the sands flew freely and his favorite cactus flowers grew, and so he had set off to find a way to get back to it, or at very least find a better substitute. With a sack of what few belongings he possessed hoisted over the heavy, spike-covered armor lining his back and most of his green-scaled body in general, he lumbered forward at a mild pace.

As he walked over the trail, Rammus turned his red eyes over to the pond lying nearby with a typical lazy mien about him. There was a lovely stillness to it that set his simple, epicurean soul free. Birds sitting in the trees were singing delightful little tunes, dragonflies buzzed about his head, keeping those annoying mosquitoes out of his face. It was nice.

As his mind drifted off in the harmony surrounding him, the birds suddenly went silent, and many of them began to fly off from where they once roosted. Upon catching up to the present, Rammus also then realized that the dragonflies had also vanished. Taking his view off of the lake and looking around briefly, he could hear a whistling noise grow louder from overhead. Not 'whistle' like a bird call, more like... something big falling through the air. It reminded him of the time not several weeks ago when a large rock had somehow come crashing down on him from the air, and when his thoughts left that moment, he decided to look upward.

There was a large, dark, stony shape coming upon him from the sky, and it was getting bigger as it descended down to earth. Pretty soon it was close enough for the Armordillo to discern that it was a giant... castle of sorts. With all he had seen before this, it didn't surprise the Armordillo if the precipitation in this place called for the occasional castle.

"Hmm..." he mumbled unenthusiastically, mere moments before the odd sky-castle came directly down on him.

As the thunderously ear-shattering sound of the fortress falling to the earth like a meteorite finally began to subside, a thick mushroom cloud of dust and debris rose from the remains of what vaguely appeared to be a castle. Bits of what was left of the main tower shook and toppled to the ground, crumbling into a pile of broken brick.

From what little there was to be seen within the foul throne room, now having collapsed into the first floor of the castle, the interior of the fortress was barely intact. The shapes of several of the brave fighters who bested the Evil Wizard managed to lift themselves up from the jagged and destroyed ground, though they looked worse for wear, and bruises, scratches, scrapes and scuff marks adorned most of them.

"Is... everyone alright?" Blue asked, looking to Undyne, Derpy and Orange; his face as sickly green as his correctly-hued, but currently-unseen friend's armor. "Oh, my head..."

"I'm fine," the voice of Red murmured from the ground nearby, pushing a large, chipped block off of himself, which proceeded to land with a loud crunch on the smaller stones in front of him. The knight in crimson hopped off from where he sat and dizzily made it his mission to be the first to stumble out of what little remained of the front door, whereupon he looked to the field of grass just outside of it with shimmering eyes. Dropping his mace and shield and extending his arms, he simply plopped himself, belly-first, onto it in a relieved way.

"Ah. Sweet, solid ground. So good to see you again..." he sighed in easy glee, rubbing his armored form all through the green plants he was upon as if he were making snow angels in a reversed way. Blue, who too had emerged from the wreckage (though with a few more dents in his armor than his allies), shielded his eyes from the sun's rays with a hand as he became the second to walk out, followed by Derpy.

Orange was still recuperating as a glow was witnessed from the corner of his opening eyes. Looking to it he spied the demon sword - the weapon wielded by the Evil Wizard - not five feet away from him.

It lied impaled within a pile of rubble, glowing like molten lava and giving off a demented warmth that simply called to the Orange Knight. He walked up to the weapon like a moth to a flame and wrapped his fingers around its cloth-covered handle. The moment he pulled the hellfire-forged weapon from the ground and lifted the head of its blade upward, a wolfish, demonic face carved into it, a feeling of incomparable power flowed through his body.

"Nice sword," complimented Blue, as he watched Orange skip outside with his prize.

"Seeing's how that Wizard won't need it anymore, I suppose I'll take it for myself," Orange smugly grunted back, swishing it through the air once, before sheathing it by his side and lowering a brow. "Hmm... where's Green? And Papyrus? And the princess?" The first and third questions were quickly answered as the sound of two lips coming together rang out from within the castle, causing everyone to turn just as a ruined drape hanging over a small section of the place dropped to the ground with a clatter, revealing the shapes of Green and Twilight Sparkle as they romantically made out from behind it. The combined voices of Red, Orange, and Blue cried out in unified despair and outrage at how the pragmatic and honorless bastard they called their friend had stolen the awesomely-coveted kiss of the princess, and were then silenced under a hushed mist of extreme loathing as the kiss between Green and the alicorn came to its fantastic finale.

"That was nice..." sighed Green, dreamily. To that, Twilight gave him a dry look.

"Don't ask me to do it again," she mumbled, fluffing her wings out and trotting away from him and through the wreckage until she was in the company of the other fighters. "We're here," she said to them, her expression changing to one of joy as Green's dizzied form stumbled around behind her.

Derpy smiled happily, before placing a hoof to her lip and looking around in a confused fashion. "But then... where's Papyrus?"

The moment everyone heard his words, there was a commotion of movement as everyone's heads spun around to see the blurred shape of Undyne cry out and shoot back into the castle. Running in, they could see that she was attacking a large pile of rubble in the far corner with outstretched hands; pulling it to pieces, brick by brick, and stone by stone.

"We have to find him!" exclaimed the fish monster. Rushing up to another pile when she finished with the first, she hastily began to tear it apart, scattering rocks about the destroyed room to no avail. "Sans is gonna kill me if he so much as loses an arm!"

"I think it's not so much what he's losing when it comes to body parts as it is body mass," Orange said, motioning for everyone to pitch in on the search. "Let's look for him."

They were just about to help her sort through the extreme mess, when the sound of a large fist punching through a partially-collapsed wall went out in an echo, pushing it down and scattering hundreds of bricks that had held it up as though it were nothing more than a wall of paper. An unfamiliar figure, clad in an armored and spiked shell that was intricately patterned with spiral scales, emerged from the hole holding a sack in one of his green, three-clawed arms and the skeletal figure of Papyrus in the other, whom he proceeded to gently place upon the ground. Both looked unscathed.

"UGH... THANKS FOR THAT, MY LARGE, ARMORED FRIEND!" Papyrus wearily thanked as he stood up with an affable flick of his gloved hand. "I WILL NOT SOON FORGET THIS ACT OF KINDNESS!"

"Ok," Rammus monotonously responded. He hobbled forward a few feet with his sack still tightly grasped in his three-clawed hand, allowing Papyrus to get to his legs on the stable earth and dust himself off. Smiling as he usually did, he looked to his friends respectively. "WELL, THAT WAS QUITE THE VENTURE. WHAT IS TO BE HAD NOW-"

"Thank the Underground!" Undyne interrupted in a shout, lunging forward and hugging the tall skeleton close to her armored shape. Seconds later she let go of him and rubbed her back with an arm and an easy chuckle. "I thought you were toast there for a second, Bonehead."

"UNDYNE, WE ARE ALIVE! CAN YOU NOT BELIEVE IT?" he asked.

"I can," she chuckled.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," interjected Blue, walking up to the terse Armordillo and pointing a finger at him. "Just who the heck's this overgrown ninja turtle and where did he come from?"

"Looks to me like a piteous attempt at adding yet another character to our already considerably-inflated roster..." whispered Orange into Derpy's ear, though in a tone too low for the pegasus to properly hear. Rammus cast a red-eyed, lazy gaze to him as he finished, and Orange in turn coughed into his fist. "Er... what I mean to say is, it looks like our ensemble may have just gotten that much bigger. Since you saved our friend from perishing amidst this crashed castle, would you care to join us in our quest to stop an evil dragon and save a kingdom, friend?"

Rammus scratched a sharp claw at his chin before mumbling a response. "Yeah."

"Alrighty then. The more the merrier!" said Red aloud, clapping his hands and rubbing them together. "What's next?"

Twilight stepped forward and cleared her throat. "That all depends on what the situation is. Who are the other princesses in need of saving?"

"You're the second-to-last princess we've had to save," Green revealed. "All that's left is Princess Celestial."

"'Celestia'," Twilight corrected.

"Whatever," Green carelessly shrugged. Twilight sighed and stared back at the others.

"We should go back to Ponyville. We can form a plan there," she said. "When I'm back with my friends, I just know I'll be able to come up with something."

Derpy was clapping her hooves together in glee and was already soaring high in the sky. "Then to Ponyville we shall go!" she cheered.

"TWILIGHT!" The shouts of pure joy from the alicorn's five friends and dragon assistant brought a most foul ringing to the knights' individual ears. They had all arrived in Ponyville after less than half-a-day of travel, mostly in part thanks to the alicorn's magical powers, and got there just as night was falling. They all jumped at her in a dogpile of vicious hugging and joyful laughter, gaining a mirthful chuckle from the observing Princess Luna.

As this all went on, Derpy passed by them and was soon greeted by the smaller, waiting shape of her daughter Dinky. Without a second thought, she gave her sweet daughter a large hug and nudged her cross-eyed face against the young unicorn's cheek lovingly. "It's so great to see you again my sweet, brave little Dinky," she said into her ear, ecstatic that she hadn't been harmed in the time she was gone. "Where's your father?"

"He's still in the town square, tending to the injured ponies. I'm helping out a lot!" Dinky replied, as their embrace finally broke off. "How have you been with saving the princesses?"

"Oh, it's been a trip," she uneasily laughed. "A long trip. The only princess left to save is Celestia."

"That is right..." Rarity's voice spoke up from behind as Derpy's words graced her ears. "Twilight, how do you propose we do something like that? We must rescue Princess Celestia and defeat that foul dragon, yet we do not have the Elements of Harmony at our disposal, and the Tree of Harmony is still silent."

"That's what I've been thinking about since we started for here," the Princess of Magic responded accordingly. "But I've come up with nothing. What do you all think would be best?"

"Well, why don't we take care of it!" Undyne butted in with a sharp-toothed grin. "We're more than qualified to slay a dragon. And besides, I've got a score to settle with him over tricking me into coming here."

"This seems like a job best suited for these heroes, who have done a tremendous amount of help already," Luna responded, agreeing with Undyne's assessment. "I believe it is best we stay in reserve, since Sablewing's servants have grown rather thin in number. Should something go awry, we will be the ones to step in to finish the job."

Twilight looked unsure, but after looking back to her friends and their individual expressions of agreement, she sighed and looked to the monsters and Castle Crashers. "I suppose that's an idea we can act on."

As Rammus gave a small, silent nod of assent from where he leaned his spiky, armored form against the side of a recently-rebuilt house, Dinky flashed a concerned face up to her mother. "Mama, if you go with them you'll come back, right?"

"Of course I will," Derpy replied, placing a hoof around her shoulder. "I promise I will."

Orange was already bouncing up-and-down on his heels with rapidity to rival Pinkie Pie on a sugar rush; the blood in his veins becoming lit with excitement. "Alright, it's time to crash Canterlot!" he cheered, raising his demon sword into the air. With a warcry he began charging off, and unable to help themselves, the rest of the team soon dashed off to join him.

"Bye-bye you all! Good luck!" Rainbow shouted as she watched them all depart from Ponyville, waving her hoof at them with the others.

"Show that dragon the what-for!" Rarity also spoke aloud.

"Yeah, have fun storming the castle!" Pinkie added, jumping into the air. As they all bid goodbye to the fearless heroes, they witnessed them unleash more battle roars into the air.

"To battle!" shouted Blue, holding his sword aloft over his head.

"To victory!" cried Red, bashing his mace lightly against his shield in anticipation.

"For science!" exclaimed Green with a large grin etched onto his face.

"FOR GREAT JUSTICE!" Papyrus and Undyne yelled together.

"Huzzah!" cheered Derpy, clapping her hooves together in (perhaps misplaced) excitement, flying above them all.

"Ok," said the steadily-following Rammus.

CANTERLOT CRASHERS

Sablewing knew his time to defend himself was nearly upon him. He knew he was soon to fight for both his rule, and his life. Even now, while he sat contemplating the immediate future on the throne of Celestia, the knights and their lackeys had stormed through Canterlot on a rampage of blood, violence, and wretched pun-based one-liners. His most powerful servants were dead, and with the coming of these seemingly unstoppable warriors, the majority of what minions he still possessed had all but fled; abandoned him to his looming fate.

He was alone. Right now he could smell the scent of his ultimate enemies lurking on the other side of the closed doors that led to the large and wide throne room, no doubt plotting their final move against him. But Sablewing did not despair, nor did he fear. He merely prepared for what was sure to be the final battle to decide who would be ultimately victorious.

Looking to his left, he saw Princess Celestia keeping a smug glare held on him from the cage where she sat in the corner of the back of the room. She knew what was going on, and it irked the dragon to no end. He turned from her and back to the main doorway and huffed, snorting smoke through his dark and surely vile nostrils.

Yes, the fight he never wanted was coming. And all he could do was wait for them to strike.

"So what'll we do once get in there?" came the first question, spoken by Derpy. What they stood directly behind was the tall, metal door that entered the main throne room of Canterlot's castle. They had spent the last hour battling through what little resistance they found in the city, freed its inhabitants, and were now here. As Rammus stood to the side, looking with dumb fascination at the stained glass windows, Undyne had a hand to her chin and was thinking deeply.

"I say that as soon as we enter, we all rush the guy before he has a chance to speak a word," she said, looking down to her shorter cohorts. "That would be most efficient."

"But what if he has some exposition to share with us?" Green inquired. "Like, what if he had a reason for all of this? For all we know, he'll say he 'did it for his handicapped kid to give them a better place to live' or 'because it was the last wish of his dying father'. I want to hear him say something like that before I mount his head on my wall."

From five feet away, Red was visibly displeased with how his allies were going about their business, then he suddenly shouted something that voiced his opinion on it nicely. "Strategy is for cowards!" were his words. He picked up his mace and faced the door with a laugh as everyone else watched him in confusion. "A true warrior always throws himself into battle for no reason other than to please his weapon with the blood of his puny foes, not boring words. And I'm going to go right in there to punch that dumb dragon right in his stupid face. Why? To be a winner. Because I believe in me!"

Before anyone could so much as question his words, Red sped away toward the entrance of the castle with a thick cloud of dust hanging behind him. "LEEROOOOOYYYY... JENKIIINS!" he cried out at the top of his lungs, invoking the reckless holy name and ancient battle cry of He Who Has Chicken. Breaking through the door with his shoulders, the doorway split open, revealing the darker insides of the spacious room. At the far end sat Sablewing, and beside him was a cage containing Princess Celestia, who looked quite happy at this intrusion. Red instantly started forward before his friends could stop him.

"Sablewing!" he shouted to the being on the other end of the room adjacent to the caged alicorn. "I have something I want to tell you!"

"And what would you have to speak with me about?" Sablewing in turn asked back in a startlingly amiable tone, getting up from the throne. He gave a sideways glance to Celestia before looking ahead.

"So I heard you're resistant to magic, eh?" Red said, sauntering closer to the dragon. Lifting his mace and shield up, he let both drop from his grasp to the ground in a clatter mid-stride. Sablewing, intrigued by this course of action he was following, also began to pace up to him; his long cape dragging behind him.

"I was born with an intense durability to magic," he proudly revealed. "And weapons barely harm me. What is your point, little man?"

Both stopping once they were less than a foot apart, Red smiled and gave him a glare. "I know a spell. And I know that it'll get you good, even if you're resistant to it."

"Really?" The dragon murmured a laugh, poking his head closer to Red's. "And what spell do you intend to cast?" To this, and as everyone watched with held-in breath, utter anticipation and worry, Red lifted his hand and looked into his empty palm before curling his fingers together with a crackling of the joints and looking back at Sablewing's smug expression.

"I cast FIST."

A split second later, the lightning-fast knuckle of the self-entitled 'muscle wizard' Red smashed into the leftmost jaw of Sablewing with its full force. As the bellowing dragon stumbled back in a surprised fashion, hand held to the place where the dizzying blow was struck and along the place where several now-missing teeth once rested within his mouth, Red dashed back to his shield and weapon and snatched them back up, giggling like a maniac.

Everyone saw this attack with clarity, and putting on grimaces as the battle commenced, were just about to charge in by his side. But then, not a second before all of them took a step to him, Sablewing bent his body over and was then engulfed in an aura of purple flame. The broiling fire suddenly shot off from him and burst forward in a cloud, so in turn, they all shielded themselves while Red was engulfed in the scorching heat. When the cloud of flame parted a few moments later, they anxiously peered out to see what had happened.

Red appeared badly charred from the burst of flame, and his soot-covered form shakily arose from the floor. Walking up to his allies, he lifted his finger, as if to say something, before suddenly collapsing in a smoking heap. Looking past his prone shape, everyone could see a startling sight when they witnessed what became of Sablewing.

His magnificent cape now shed, Sablewing had grown to an enormous height that filled up almost a complete third of the throne room. Without a second to spare, and as soon as they had all recovered, Blue, Orange and Green all strummed arrows into their bows, while Undyne prepared a water spear. They each launched a volley of missiles at their enemy, but to their horror, none of the attacks had any effect on him. The arrows bounced off of him, and Undyne's spears dissolved into normal streams of water as soon as they were within range of his innate anti-magic, proceeding to splash uselessly to the ground.

"Gnats!" the dragon shouted angrily, swinging his long, scaly tail. It smashed against Red's inactive body and smacked him toward where Papyrus stood. The skeleton only had time to cry out as the unconscious knight hit against him, sending both flying past the large shape of Rammus and into a wall. The Armordillo dashed in not a second after his allies zipped by and stopped only when he was in front of the dragon.

Looking up at his face, Rammus raised his arms over his head and his red eyes flashed brightly for a second. Sablewing was instantly provoked by this action, for sensing him performing what appeared as a mocking gesture, he felt the blood within his body boil with rage. Unable to contain himself from this puncturing taunt, he lost his sights on the others and sent his mouth down to snap up the audacious creature, only to feel the spiky parts of the creature's armor stab smoothly into his scaly flesh when he curled up into a protective ball.

With Rammus's spiny form still impaled against his snout, Sablewing began to thrash about wildly in an effort to shake him off, roaring in pain. Rammus himself was unable to move from where he was due to obvious reasons, but, as usual, he looked utterly calm. The Armordillo was eventually, and finally thrown off though, where he slammed into a pillar near the entrance of the room, which proceeded to collapse upon him in a cloud of debris as it was broken apart from its foundation.

As Sablewing stumbled back and the others were recuperating, Orange was readying himself to intercept the dragon while it unknowingly got closer to the knight; his demon sword raised and preparing to strike. Just as Sablewing's left heel got in range, Orange swung the weapon with all his might, expecting to clang against his thick flesh with little result. What actually happened was something akin to what it felt like when one swiped through nothing more than air, and for a few seconds he feared he had somehow missed his target.

Opening his eyes as an absolutely agonized bellow rang through his ears, Orange saw that the sword had not missed, but instead had effortlessly passed through the dragon's tendon, cutting a thick gash into his appendage that was already bleeding profusely with burning blood not unlike molten lava. The dragon crashed to the ground with a thunder of body-on-stone as he was unable to keep his balance, and Orange, a devilish smile already formed onto his lips, looked to his friends with the demon sword gripped tighter than ever in his jittering hands.

"Hey, guys!" he yelled right then, catching the attention of everyone in the room. They all turned to him and saw him standing where he was, pointing to the demonic weapon he held. "This sword hurts him! It can hurt the dragon! I think it's cause it's made of something that can damage him, but I can use this demon sword to kill Sablewing! All I've got to do is get up real close to him when he isn't-"

A sound thunk went out, as Sablewing's still very much active tail whacked against Orange with a tremendous force, throwing him away. The knight slammed into a wall, cracking the stone that made it up with the force of the impact, and flopped to the ground with a grunt. Getting up and rubbing his head, he chuckled lightly at his own impudence.

Sablewing struggled to regain his footing; now hampered by his injury. And as he did so, Undyne's good eye caught sight of a figure in the far back of the ruined room, which she noticed was the caged and currently unharmed shape of Princess Celestia. "Papyrus!" she then barked to her skeletal friend. "Go save the princess before that dragon has the chance to trip and fall onto her! I'll cover you!"

"YOU GOT IT!" Papyrus agreed, already dashing off with his red, scarf-like cloth flapping like a flag behind him.

"I'll help!" Derpy also said. The two zoomed to the other end of the room together as speedily as their legs and wings could carry them. Though fast, they had still caught the the predatory eye of Sablewing, but just before a geyser of flame could erupt from his opening, glowing mouth and burn them alive, Undyne had pounced on his snout, closing it. The fish monster, unable to summon any water spears with the fact that her foe was resistant to magic, instead decided to use what she was born with.

"NGAHHH!" she roared, rearing an arm back as she prepared to deliver a mighty blow. With a steel-lined fist at her backing, she punched the overgrown lizard in the bridge of his nose, bruising the very bone underneath his scaly flesh and causing yet another bellow of pain to leave the dragon's mouth. Quite fed up with the creatures he had yet again underestimated, Sablewing extended his wings and clapped them together right when Green and Blue lunged forward to help their comrade, sending all three away from him in a gust of wind to rival that of a hurricane. By then, Papyrus and Derpy had picked up the cage containing the princess and were almost out of the throne room, huffing and puffing with effort.

"You have my thanks for this rescue, heroes!" Celestia quickly said with an almost disturbing level of calmness in spite of the havoc happening around them, just before they left the area. "I've heard in side comments of your victories against Sablewing's forces."

"WE ARE HEROES, AFTER ALL. HEROES ALWAYS BEAT THE VILLAINS!" Papyrus declared, putting the cage down and striking a small pose. "I JUST HOPE THAT DRAGON DIDN'T DO ANYTHING NASTY TO YOU!"

"But the thing is, you're safe now! All we have now is a... dragon to deal with, hehe..." Derpy replied with an uneasy laugh, just before feeling a hand touch her shoulder. Spinning around, she found herself looking at Orange.

"Derpy!" he said. "I need you!"

"For what?" she asked with an unsure expression.

Orange was practically trembling with excitement at the idea he had formulated. "Look, all the guys are getting pummeled out there. Sablewing's hurt bad already, but he's not letting anyone else get close! Our weapons have almost no effect on him, but my sword does! If you're fast enough and can carry me through the air on your wings, I can get close to Sablewing with it and end this fight!"

"Y-you're sure about this?" the walleyed mare asked.

"I am," he responded.

"I don't know..." she said back. "He's so big. And I'm so... little compared to him."

"I HAVE FAITH IN YOU, PONY!" Papyrus cheered as he fiddled with the lock on Celestia's meteoric cage. "TEAMWORK IS THE BEST KIND OF WORK!"

"Yeah! And if that big dumb lizard so much as tries to send a ball of fire our way, I'll make sure to block it for you with my shield," Orange agreed, sneaking a peek behind himself, into the throne room and seeing that Sablewing regain his footing and stand up again, spouting a burst of flame toward Blue and Rammus; the latter of whom was rolling toward the dragon in a spinning ball. Derpy took in a deep breath .

"Alright," she said. "I trust you. Hop on!"

With a triumphant shout of "Yes!", Orange jumped atop of Derpy's back. "Onward, my trusty friend and steed!" he cried out, hoisting his shield up and extending his blade ahead as a cavalier would. Rearing back and whinnying, the pegasus jumped into the air and flew forward at a quick pace with but a few strokes of her feathered wings.

Riding atop of Derpy's flying gray form, Orange and the pegasus charged at Sablewing madly through the air as fast as the wind itself. Sablewing, soon seeing them coming with fear in his eyes, thrashed out at them with his claws and tail as the rest of the heroes also attacked him at once, but all he heard in response to his efforts to swat at them were a pair of defiant roars that avoided every blow he sent their way. Orange pointed the sword ahead of himself and glared as he suddenly leaped off of Derpy and onto Sabelwing, just as the titanic creature reared back and spread his wings out, trying one final time to bat Orange's form away with both of his claws and failing.

While Orange bellowed in his fury, the sword plunged into the ebony-scaled dragon's chest as though it were nothing. Blood of a bright color, like molten lava, began to bleed and spit forth from the wound and drip to the stony ground with a sharp hiss, while the scaly skin around where the blade had pierced through began to crack like rock. Sablewing let out a scream that rendered everyone with ringing ears, and unable to hold it any longer, the Orange Knight let go of the demon sword as both Derpy and himself were flung back by the force of the dragon's cry.

With the weapon still embedded in his chest, Sablewing's enormous form lit up in a white glow and was consumed by a sudden red flame that surrounded his entire being. What followed next was a thunderous explosion that knocked everyone off of their feet, scattering loose stone about like a sideways hail of rock. The knights, Undyne, Rammus, and Derpy were tossed around like pebbles in a cyclone before all coming to a sudden stop not a few seconds later.

And then everything went still.