I awoke the next morning and found myself alone for once. I enjoyed the moment for a little bit as I lay there and stared at the ceiling. …I’m cold. I quickly got up and headed downstairs towards the few voices and clattering of dishes I heard and found Cadence having breakfast with Twilight and Spike.

“Mornin, y’all,” I greeted as I took the only open seat next to Twilight.

“Good morning, Alex,” Twilight replied sweetly as she scooted her seat closer to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek, “are you feeling better now?”

“Uh,” I muttered as I glanced at Cadence and she looked at me with a raised brow, “yeah, much. So what’s going on?”

“Oh, nothing much,” Cadence answered, “Twilight and I were just talking about you.”

“And you had only good things to say, right?” I asked as I started eating an apple.

“More or less,” Cadence teased with a smirk.

“Of course!” Twilight added as she nuzzled my shoulder, “Cadence was just telling me about how good friends you two have become.”

“Yep, good friends sounds about right,” I replied after swallowing, “I mean, it started off rough with the beatings and whippings, but I think we’ve come to an understanding.”

“Beating and whippings?!” Twilight exclaimed, making me snort, “Cadence! You didn’t!”

“Of course not!” the princess replied with a horrified face, “I’d never do something like that! Especially after what I’ve seen you do to that guard.”

“Guard?” Twilight repeated as she looked between our blank faces, “What guard?”

“Don’t worry about it, Twilight,” I said as I petted her head before I stood up, “but I gotta go.”

“Where to?”

“Rarity’s, of course. As much as I love being naked, I’m starting to get a little cold,” I answered as I threw my apple core into the trash across the kitchen, “Kobe!”

“I guess I’ll come with you,” Cadence said as she started to stand.

“No, that’s alright,” I said as I put a hand on her shoulder, “you did come here to see Twilight, after all. Besides, I don’t think anything’s going to happen this time.” She looked into my eyes and I’m pretty sure she was asking if I was sure, to which I just shrugged.

“Alright,” she sighed as she sat back down.

“Good, besides,” I said as I pointed at Spike who was stuffing his face, “I want Spike to come with me.”

“Huh?” he mumbled as he stopped eating and looked up at me.

“Come on, Spike. We’re going to see Rarity,” I said as I started towards the door.

“Okay!” he said as he rushed over to my side.

“Why do you need him?” Twilight asked as I opened the door.

“Cause, I’m getting tired of all you girls and your… girliness… Spike’s one of the only two guys I know and I’m sure he’d be more willing to speak than the other,” I answered as I thought about all the fun stuff me and Big Mac could talk about… the list started and stopped at apples, “us guys gotta stick together, as bros, right Spike?”

“Uh, sure,” he answered with a shrug.

“Boys,” Cadence said with a roll of her eyes.

“Yeah, whatever. Let’s go,” I said as I led the way out of the library with Spike close behind. As we walked through town in the early morning light, I once again got the feeling that I was being watched. I glanced around casually looking for my stalker, but not casually enough because Spike noticed and said something as he too looked behind us.

“What are you looking for?”

“Uh, nothing,” I said as I took one last look behind me before facing forward, “but what’s up, Spike?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, what’s been going on with you? How’s life?”

“Uh, alright, I guess,” he answered with a confused tone in his voice, “Why?”

“Just asking, but I see you’re not afraid of me anymore,” I commented as I looked down at him with a smile, “so that’s good.”

“Yeah, Twilight wouldn’t stop going on and on about you being harmless and nice until I agreed with her, and it only got worse when the others showed up,” he explained as he shook his head.

“What do you mean?”

“Right after you left, all five of the girls conveniently came to the library at the same time asking for you. When Twilight told them you went with the princess, they decided to stay and wait. After a few hours passed and you didn’t show up, I asked them what was so great about you and they all gave their reasons for why they liked you.”

“What uh, what did they say?” I asked cautiously.

“I don’t remember,” he said making me frown, “I stopped paying attention after Twilight gave her reasons.”

“I see,” I said with a sigh.

“By the way, why did you want me to come with you to Rarity’s?”

“Well, I remembered how bummed you were about not getting to stay long last time, so I figured you would appreciate this. Was I wrong?”

“No no! This is great, thanks,” he replied quickly before looking down at the ground, “but, uh… just so you know, I care about Rarity… a lot. So don’t go doing anything mean to her.”

“You have my word that I won’t,” I replied with a smirk that he nodded to.

“Why do you like her anyway?” I asked after a minute of silence.

“W-well, she’s really pretty,” he muttered embarrassingly.

“I agree wholeheartedly, but so are a lot of other mares in town,” I said as I looked around and spotted Bon Bon walking around, “like Bon Bon, or even Sweetie Bell. Does that mean you like them too?”

“No!” he replied and I raised a brow, “I mean no, I don’t like them. They are pretty… it’s just- wait. What are you trying to do?”

“What do you mean?” I asked innocently.

“Are you trying to get me to stop liking Rarity?” he asked suspiciously.

“What? Nooo… but to be honest, kinda,” I admitted, causing him to frown angrily at me, “I mean, we’re friends, right?”

“Mmm, yeah, I guess,” he answered reluctantly, “So what?”

“So, I’m just trying to help you out. It’s fine to have a crush on someone, but you should also be prepared for disappointment,” I wisely explained, “take this from a guy who’s been around the block a few hundred times and has only been successful a few of those times.”

“So you’re saying I should give up on her?”

“Not necessarily. What I am saying, is that you should tell her how you feel,” even though I’m sure she knows, “with any luck, she’ll feel the same. But if not, the worst thing that can happen is she says no in a sweet way, says you should just stay friends and you go home crying.”

“…That’s not very comforting,” he says nervously.

“Well, I wasn’t done,” I said as I gave him a playfully irritated look, “you’ll go home crying, and Twilight will be there to help you feel better. I’ll be there too, and I’ll show all the ways to get over it that I know about. I promise, you’ll feel a lot better telling her how you feel.”

“… You really think so?” he asked as he looked up at me uncertainly.

“For sure. Like I said, I know what I’m talking about. So what do you say?”

“…Say to what?”

“Telling Rarity you like her, of course,” I answered and I could see the horror in his eyes.

“Right now?!”

“Of course.”

“I-I don’t know,” he replied as he stopped walking, “what do I say?”

“Your true feelings,” I answered as I kneeled down to him and put a hand on his spiny head, “just be honest.”

“…Okay,” he muttered.

“Great! Let’s hurry before you change your mind,” I said as I suddenly grabbed him and stuffed him under my arm like a football before running the rest of the way to Rarity’s place. By the time we got to her door, I was panting pretty hard as I held Spike by his leg.

“She was… a lot farther away… than I remembered,” I panted.

“… I’m not really feeling this anymore,” he said as he hung upside down, “how about we do this another time?”

“Nope,” I said as I straightened out and knocked for some reason before opening the door, “we’re already here.”

“I should probably wait a little bit and think of a good way to tell her though,” he replied as he started to fight with my hand holding his leg.

“Naw man, it’s like a Band-Aid. You just pull it off quick and it’ll only hurt for a few days,” I said as I slapped his claws away.

“No, I changed my mind!” he said right before he latched onto my arm with his sharp teeth.

“Ah! What the hell?!” I said as I let go of his leg and started waving my arm around, “Let go! That fucking hurts!” I ran around the lobby of the shop with Spike hanging off of me and I’m sure we looked pretty stupid to Rarity who walked in at some point.

“What’s going on here?” she asked, making both of us freeze and look at her.

“Uh,” I muttered as Spike and I looked at each other then back to her, “I just came for those clothes.”

“Ah, of course,” she said as she turned around and headed to the back of the shop, “I think you’ll really like the way they turned out.”

“We’ll take care of this later,” I whispered to Spike as he let go and fell to the floor. When he landed, he stuck his tongue out at me before quickly scurrying after Rarity. This kid… I soon followed after the two and found them looking at what I guessed were my clothes floating in Rarity’s magic.

“So, what do you think?” she asked as she floated them in front of me.

“Well, they’re clothes alright,” I said as I looked over the colorful outfit. It’s almost as if she was with us at the library when I told Twilight what colors I liked, because they were pink and purple. She somehow managed to make a dark-pink button-down shirt that seemed to be made out of silk and had a heart on the left breast. The dark-purple pants looked like they were made out of denim, but were really soft and comfortable when I put them on.

“They’re comfy, at least,” I commented as I rolled up the sleeves, “and fit surprisingly well. Thanks Rarity.”

“Of course, darling,” she replied as she circled me, making sure it actually did fit.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what gave you the idea for the colors?” I asked.

“Yeah, it’s pink,” Spike giggled.

“I asked Twilight if she knew what colors you liked and she just happened to know,” she answered as she floated a pad of parchment over to her and quickly sketched me.

“It’s seems she forgot a color,” I muttered.

“What’s that?”

“I was asking where you got the heart from?”

“That’s your cutie mark, isn’t it?” she asked with a tilt of her head.

“No, not really, but whatever,” I said as I put my shoes back on and stuck my hands in the pockets that she also somehow thought to make. As I did, I suddenly remember something that I forgot about a long time ago.

“Hey, you didn’t happen to make me some underwear, did you?”

“As a matter of fact, I did,” Rarity answered with a smile before blushing slightly, “but… Spike, dear? Would mind going into the other room? Alex needs some privacy.”

“Uh, sure,” he replied before giving me the stink-eye to which I just shrugged.

“I guess privacy is nice every so often,” I said as I took my pants back off, “so, let’s see them.”

“One second, darling,” Rarity said as she shifted some things around, “I seem to have misplaced… Ah, here it is!” She turned around and presented a black ribbon eerily similar to the one I saw her wearing a few days ago.

“Uh,” I muttered as she floated it over to me and tied it around the base of my dick, “I… t-thanks.” I guess I’m never wearing underwear again.

“So, what do I owe you?” I asked as I put my pants back on, knowing exactly what she was going to say.

“A date,” she said simply.

“…What?” I asked as my face went blank from confusion.

“Normally I wouldn’t ask for anything on the first job, but I feel like this would be something both of us can enjoy. Wouldn’t you agree?” she asked as she flashed me an innocent smile. Well, that’s unexpected.

“Sure,” I sighed with an amused smile.

“Great! Leave all the planning to me and how does two days from now sound?”

“Sounds good.”

“Wonderful!” she exclaimed as she nuzzled me happily before stopping suddenly and coughing into her hoof, “Well, if that’s all, I’ll let you be on your way.”

“Actually, there is one more thing,” I said as I leaned down to her, “Spike has something he really needs to tell you and while I think you can guess what it is, I’d really appreciate it if you heard him out.”

“I see,” she hummed thoughtfully, “what do you want me to do?”

“Just be patient and wait for him to get it out.”

“Of course,” she replied as I stood up straight.

“Hey, Spike come in here for a sec,” I called out.

“What’s up?” he answered as he rushed into the room. Right as he did, I snatched him up and hugged him to my chest, keeping his arms pinned to his sides.

“You’ve got something to tell Rarity, don’t you?”

“What?” he asked before he realized what was going on and started squirming around, “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Are you sure, Spike?” Rarity asked with a tilt of her head, making him freeze, “Alex said you have something very important to tell me.” She knows what’s up.

“I-I, uh,” he stuttered, “I, well, you see…”

“Remember what I told you,” I whispered into his ear, “like a Band-Aid. And you’ll feel better, I promise.”

“R-Rarity, I-I,” he started shakily as he looked at her patient face and blushed, “I-I-I…”

“Calm down. Don’t forget to breath,” I whispered to him when he hadn’t taken a breath for a while, “and don’t freak out. You’re prepared for whatever answer she gives you.” Taking a few seconds to calm himself, I could feel him relax before he put on a determined face that melted when he saw Rarity’s patient smile.

“R-Rarity… I, I like you,” he stated, surprising me because he didn’t whisper and have to say it another, painful time.

“Aw, Spike I like you too,” she replied sweetly. Damnit Rarity, this is already hard enough for the kid.

“R-really?” Spike said hopefully.

“Calm down, she doesn’t get it,” I whispered to him, “you have to be more direct.”

“O-okay,” he whispered back, “Rarity, I like-like you.” Oh my god.

“Oh, Spike. I figured that was the case,” she said as she stepped up to us and I set Spike down in front of her.

“Y-you knew?” he asked nervously.

“Of course. Mares have a sixth sense for these kinds of things,” she said as she sat down and pulled him into a hug, “besides I like you too.” Huh, wasn’t really expecting that, but good for him.

“Really?” Spike asked incredulously as he hugged her back.

“Yes, but,” ah, there it is, “like a brother, like Twilight does.”

“O-oh,” he muttered.

“I’m sorry, but if you were a little older you’d be perfect for me, like Alex here.”

“Wait, what?” I said out loud. Don’t bring me into this!

“W-what do you mean?” Spike asked sadly with what sounded like a hint of anger.

“Well, you and Alex are both sweet and caring, but he just makes me feel beautiful in a way I’ve never felt before,” she explained as I listened in horror, “he’s so manly and strong. Not to mention sexy.”

“Rarity, please,” I interrupted, “I think he gets it.”

“Yeah, I do,” he muttered as he stepped away from Rarity and looked at me angrily with tear filled eyes, “you were just trying to take her for yourself!”

‘What? No!” I exclaimed, “I was just trying to-”

“I thought we were friends! But you were just saying that so you could trick me!” he exclaimed as the tears started to fall.

“No! I’d never do that! Remember what I said?” I pleaded as I kneeled down to him, “You’re one of the few guys I know! We have to stick together, as bros!”

“Shut-up!” he yelled as he swiped a hand across my face and cut my left cheek, “I hate you! I’ll never forgive you!” With that, he ran out of the room and out the store, sobbing all the way.

“Spike! Wait!” I yelled as soon as he left the room, but didn’t chase after him.

“My word!” Rarity said as she looked at my face, “I wasn’t expecting all that!”

“Yeah, the first one’s always the worst,” I sighed as I plopped down onto the floor, “but did you really have to go and compare him to me? Nothing pisses off a guy more than being compared to someone else.” I’m pretty sure that applies to women too.

“I-I’m sorry,” she said as she shrunk a little, “I got a little caught up in the moment.”

“It’s fine, you were just being honest,” I sighed again as I looked into a mirror and saw the three diagonal cuts, “he’s going to hate me for a while, but that’s alright. Damn, he got me good.”

“Are you alright?” Rarity asked as she inspected my wound.

“Yeah, it just stings a little. At least I’m not bleeding,” I said as I felt my cheek and stood up, “but I’m gonna go and make sure he made it back home.”

“Alright, and once again, I’m sorry.”

“And once again, don’t be,” I said as I pulled her into a hug, “well, I’ll see you in two days, if not sooner.” After I took my hoodie she hooved to me, I left the shop and headed back to the library. Man, I don’t remember reacting that bad when I confessed for the first time. Then again, I didn’t have some asshole forcing me to do it. Guess I should have left him alone… So much for my special talent having to do with love… Within a few minutes, I was back at the library where I found Cadence standing at and looking up the stairs.

“Hey, Cadence” I greeted as I stepped up to her and was able to hear Spike’s crying, “Twilight up there?”

“Yeah,” she answered without looking at me, “she ran up after him the second he came in. What happened to him?”

“Me,” I answered flatly, “I forced him to tell Rarity how he felt about her, and it turned out a lot worse than I was expecting.”

“I see,” was all she said. We both stood there for a while as we listened to Spike’s sobs slowly quite down.

“Well, I’m leaving for a while,” I said as I turned back around and headed for the door.

“Where are you going?” Cadence asked as she finally looked at me.

“To Sweet Apple Acres. I figure Applejack wouldn’t mind housing my worthless ass for a few days while Spike cools off,” I answered as I casually covered my cheek

“I’m sure that’s not necessary,” the princess said a she trotted over and in front of me, “I’m sure you two will be fine.”

“Haha, no we won’t. Someone’s probably going to end up getting hurt really bad,” I chuckled lightly, “trust me. Besides, may as well get those meetings with the girls over with while I’m out.”

“I’ll come with you then,” she said as she opened the door with her magic.

“Alright,” I replied as I followed her out of the tree house, making sure she was on my right, “who should we, or I, visit first?”

“Whoever you want, but speaking of the elements,” she said as she looked me over with a smile, “those are some interesting clothes you’re wearing.”

“I know, I look funny, right?” I asked as I stopped and did a spin for her, “They’re hella comfy though.”

“No, you look good, honest,” she said with a small giggle as we kept walking, “but what’s that on your face?”

“Uh, what do you mean?” I asked as I quickly faced forward and touched the right side of my face, “I don’t feel anything.”

“The other side,” she said as she started to walk around me, but I just turned away from her, “… you’re hiding something.”

“I have no idea-” was all I got out before she poked me in the side, making me giggle and cover my stomach reflexively.

“What happened to you?!” she gasped when she saw my cut cheek.

“Don’t get upset, but,” I sighed as I kneeled down to let her get a better look, “this also has to do with Spike. I wasn’t joking when I said it went a lot worse than I thought it would.”

“Oh, Spike,” she sighed before her horn lit up and I felt a dull tingle on my face, “hold still.”

“Uh, you do remember what I said, right?” I asked as I looked at Cadence’s goofy focus face, “magic pretty much doesn’t work on-”

“There we go,” she interrupts as her horn stops glowing and the tingling stops, “much better, but you’ll have some noticeable scars.”

“What?” I muttered as I touched my face and felt the closed wound, “Huh. Well, thanks.”

“No problem,” she replied as she started walking again, making me get up and follow, “it looks like healing magic works well enough.”

“I guess so,” I said as I kept feeling my cheek, “do I look cool, though?”

“What do you mean?” she asked as she looked at with a raised brow.

“I mean does the scar make me look badass?” I reiterated as I put my hands on my hips and puffed out my chest.

“Hmm,” she hummed, as she kept looking at me funnily, “no.”

“Damn, well there went my lower than average looks,” I sighed sadly.

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“What do you mean?”

“You had more like, higher than below average looks,” she teased.

“Thanks,” I said sarcastically as I nudged her. As we kept walking and chuckled to ourselves, I once again got the feeling that I was being followed. Getting pretty tired of the feeling, I quickly spun around and scanned the immediate area, starling Cadence.

“What’s the matter?” she asked as she watched me for a second before also looking around, “What did you see?”

“That’s the thing, I haven’t seen anything,” I answered as I turned back to her, keeping my head on a swivel, “I keep getting this feeling that I’m being followed around whenever I’m walking around town.”

“Even when we got here?”

“Yeah, the second we stepped into town, I could feel it,” I said as I squinted my eyes and looked around suspiciously, “I think I’m being stalked.”

“… Well, are you sure you checked everywhere?” she asked after a moment of silence when my back was turned to her.

“No, I didn’t actively go looking for whoever it is,” I answer I turn back to her.

“I mean, did you look in every direction?” she asked as she looked up.

“What?” I muttered as I followed her line of sight and spotted a low flying cloud directly above us with a familiar rainbow tail hanging over the side, “… Right.”

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Cadence said as she started walking away.

“I thought you were going to observe?”

“I am,” she replied as put on some Groucho glasses and stepped back next to a pair of ponies that were talking but stopped when they noticed her.

“… Ooookaaay,” I said before shaking my head and looking off to the side as I put my hand in my pockets and started walking slowly, “*Ahem*, oh gee, I sure do miss Rainbow Dash. It’s been so long since I’ve seen her. What I wouldn’t give to be in her awesome presence right now.” A second after I finished, I heard a weird noise that made me look up and see the cloud above me in a few smaller pieces. When I looked back down, I saw Rainbow Dash casually flying around the corner of a building.

“Oh, Rainbow Dash,” I called, grabbing her attention, “it’s been a while.”

“O-oh, hey Alex,” she greeted as she floated over to me, a somewhat goofy smile on her face “how’s it hangin?”

“Low,” I replied casually, making her face go blank as her head tilted, “… like a dick.”

“O-oh, I-I get it,” she replied with a heavy blush, making me snort, “S-so what are you up to?”

“Nothing much, just walking around. I was actually just thinking about you,” I answered with a smirk.

“R-really?” she asked as she avoided eye contact.

“Yeah. Last time I saw you was when we woke up together and you took off.” …Yeah, that sounds weird.

“S-sorry about that,” she said as she rubbed the back of her neck, “I was just surprised is all.”

“Hmm. You seem to get surprised pretty often.” I commented.

“N-no I don’t! It’s just you make me-” she stopped when she looked back to my smirking face, “i-it’s nothing.”

“Alright, well,” I said as I threw an arm around her, “wanna hang out for a bit? Twilight told me you wanted to see me.”

“I told her I’d come find you,” she mumbled.

“What was that?” I asked.

“S-sure. I’m not doing anything,” she answered, “w-what do you want to do?”

“Well, I’m still new to town, so I’m up for whatever.”

“Hmm,” she hummed as she tapped her chin, “a-are you hungry?”

“Hmm, I could eat, but I don’t have any money.”

“Don’t worry about it, I got you!” she said proudly.

“Aight, then where’re we going?”

“There’s this one place that makes good stuff for pretty cheap!” she said excitedly as she turned and looked at me before blushing, “N-not that that matters or anything.”

“Sounds good to me,” I said as took my arm off of her and patted her on the butt, “lead the way.”

“Y-yeah,” she muttered as she started floating away and I followed her. As I did, I looked to where I last saw Cadence and saw her chatting happily with the pair she was near. Right as I was about to roll my eyes, she looked at me and winked, making me feel like an idiot, which I’m sure was her point. A few silent minutes later, the two of us arrived at that hay-burger place I’ve heard about. Looks like I’m not going to be eating anything.

As we entered the place, I was immediately hit by the familiar smells of a regular fast food place back home, instantly making me crave meat. When we sat down at a booth, I quickly picked up a menu and scanned the pages, hopping to God, Faust, or whoever that they had meat, but they of course didn’t. When the waitress came over, against my better judgment I ordered a regular hay-burger, thinking the smells alone could satisfy me. Rainbow got the same thing plus a milkshake.

“Soooo…” I started after we had been sitting in silence for a minute, “How’ve you been?”

“F-fine,” she answered, not taking her eyes off the table, “w-what about you?”

“Ah, you know,” I sighed as I leaned back, “taking life one day at a time. Getting into some shenanigans one day, and relaxing the next.”

“S-shenanigans?” she repeated questioningly as she looked up at me, “L-like what?”

“Hmm,” I hummed as I glanced over at Cadence who was stuffing her face a few tables away, “I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but the other day, I punched a royal guard.”

“Really?!” she exclaimed as she perked up, “Why? What happened?”

“Well, a little known fact about me is that I’m pretty afraid of heights,” I started.

“Heh, really?” Rainbow chuckled lightly.

“Yeah, really,” I said with mock anger.

“O-oh, I’m sorry,” she replied as she shrunk back.

“Don’t worry about it. You can make fun of me all you want,” I said with a smile as I waved my hand dismissively, “it’s a stupid phobia. Anyway, I was forced to ride on a chariot and the guards thought it would be funny to ignore Cadence’s warning and fly really fast.”

“What a bunch of jerks,” Rainbow said with a frown, “did the princess set them straight?”

“No, I’m pretty sure the one’s broken jaw did that,” I answered as I rubbed my knuckles unconsciously.

“You broke his jaw?!” she asked exclaimed as she leaned forward with interest.

“Yeah, and as much as I don’t like thinking about it, it was kind of cool how far he flew when I hit him,” I said right before the milkshake Rainbow ordered floated over.

“Here’s your Lover’s Milkshake,” the unicorn waitress said as she set it down.

“What?” I said as I looked at the ridiculously large cup of liquid sugar topped with every kind of dessert topping you can think of. I’m pretty sure that’s not what she ordered.

“Only the cutest couples get this free of charge,” the waitress explained as she winked at us and left. I don’t know why I didn’t expect this, I thought as I leaned forward and sucked on the heart shaped straw.

“Not bad,” I said as I smacked my mouth, “gonna help me out with this?” The fur on Rainbow’s cheeks threatened to turn a permanent shade of pink as her eyes shifted between the drink and me.

“S-sure,” she said weakly as she leaned forward and daintily placed her lips on the straw. I watched as the shake quickly traveled through said straw, twisting and turning around a few bends before reaching her mouth and making her eyes light up.

“This is awesome!” she exclaimed as she continued to drink.

“Not as awesome as you,” I said. There it is, but that was kind of weak. We both kept sipping on the shake as we waited for our food, with me looking right at Rainbow, while her eyes kept going back and forth between the table, the shake, her hooves, and me.

“Why are you so nervous?” I asked as I leaned back, “it seems a little out of character for you.”

“I-I’m not nervous! You just-”

“Surprised you, right?” I cut her off with a roll of my eyes, “Rainbow, just relax. We’re supposed to be having fun, right? Well, neither of us will have a lot of fun if you’re nervous the whole time. So calm down, alright?” She stared at me for a few seconds before taking a deep breath, making her red cheeks slightly less so.

“Y-you’re right, I’m just being dumb,” she said with a small smile, “Sorry. I’m cool now.”

“If you say so,” I replied right as our food floated over. After thanking the waitress who once again winked at us, Rainbow went ahead and started eating while I inspected my food. The smell of the burger was almost enough to make me start devouring it, buy its dry and hay-y appearance kept me from putting it anywhere near my mouth. After staring at if for a few seconds, I decided to at least give it a taste. As I lifted the somehow greasy, and shitty excuse for a burger to my mouth, I looked up at Rainbow and saw her looking back at me with an amused grin as she nibbled her fries.

Steeling my nerves, I brought the burger to my mouth and took a dainty bite, wincing from the loud crunch it made. For a few bites I thought it wasn’t bad; the condiments made it almost bearable, but it quickly became too much for me and I just let the chewed up food fall out of my mouth.

“What’s wrong?” Rainbow giggled as I set the burger down and pushed it away as I brought the fries closer.

“I thought I could do it, I really did, but I’m not strong enough,” I said as I shoved fries into my mouth.

“What’s wrong with it?” she asked as she leaned forward and sniffed the burger.

“Nothing, I guess. It just tastes like hay.”

“Well, duh. It’s a HAY-burger,” she said condescendingly.

“OH REALLY? I had no idea,” I said with an exaggerated roll of my eyes, “you want it?”

“Sure!” she answered before shoving the rest of her burger into her mouth and snatching mine up. I watched her eat for the next few minutes as I occasionally snuck glances at Cadence who was still stuffing her face.

“You can really put that stuff away, huh?” I commented after Rainbow finished my burger and was sipping on the milkshake.

“Yeah, I just love this place. I come here all the time!” she exclaimed before quickly reeling it back in and looking down at her hooves, “I know it’s not very girly or cute though.”

“So?” I replied, making her look up at me, “It’s plenty cute seeing you enjoy yourself.” Man, what’s with all this weak shit? Maybe I’m just getting used to it.

“R-really?” she asked as she looked at me dreamily.

“Uh, yeah,” I said as I glanced at Cadence and saw her leaving the place, “h-how about we get out of here and actually go do something?”

“Sure,” she said before shaking her head a little and waving the waitress over. After paying for the food we left and started wandering around town. Luckily we didn’t walk in silence, as I was able to get a conversation about sports going, with the two of us explaining each of our unique sports. When I got done explaining most of my complicated human sports and she started telling me about hoof-ball, we had sat down in a park.

“That’s it?” I asked after she gave a thirty-second explanation of the game.

“Yep! Simple and not complicated like your games,” Rainbow said as she pointed a hoof to the hoof-ball field a few yards off, “you wanna play?”

“There’s only two of us. One-on-one sounds a little ridiculous for a field that big,” I said as looked over the basketball court-sized area.

“What? Afraid you’ll lose?” she teased as she nudged me.

“I’m pretty sure I will, but sure, why-”

“Rainbow Dash!” I heard a little voice call out from behind us. Oh Jesus, no. I’m not ready for this.

“Huh?” Rainbow said as she turned around, “Oh, hey there, Squirt!”

“Howdy, Rainbow Dash!” another small, but familiar voice greeted. No…

“Hi, Rainbow Dash!” a small, high-pitched voice also greeted. NOOO!

“Hey, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle!” Rainbow replied, “What are you three up to?”

“We just got done with our crusading today!” Sweetie Belle answered.

“What’d you do?”

“We helped Fluttershy take care of ‘er sick animals and we actually managed to not mess anythin up this time” Applebloom answered proudly, “but we still didn’t get our cutie marks.”

“Maybe next time,” Rainbow said as I think I heard the ruffling of a mane.

“Hey, Rainbow Dash,” Scootaloo started, “What’s that?” Oh shit.

“Oh, this is my new friend, Alex,” Rainbow introduced.

“H-hey,” I said as I kept my back to them, “how are you girls doing?”

“What is he?” Sweetie Belle asked as I felt something poke the back of my leg.

“He’s a human and he came from another planet,” Rainbow explained confidently.

“So he’s an alien?!” Applebloom exclaimed, “You know what this means girls?”

“Yeah! It’s our chance to get our cutie marks from being alien hunters!” Scootaloo answered.

“And if that doesn’t work, we can be Equestria’s ambassadors when we go to his planet!” Sweetie Belle squeaked.

“What’s an an-bassador?” Scootaloo asked. Please stop, your killing me.

“I don’t know, but I heard Rarity saying something about them being important ponies who go to other countries and do important stuff.”

“That sounds cool, but let’s try the hunting thing first,” Scootaloo said and the other two hummed in agreement before they started whispering to each other.

“Alex, why are you still looking that way?” Rainbow asked.

“Well, you know… there are just so many cool things to look at over here,” I answered.

“Like what?” she asked as she floated over in front of me.

“Like… like you,” I said as I grabbed her and hugged her to my chest, “I-I just can’t take my eyes of you.” This isn’t getting me out of anything.

“R-really?” she asked as she looked up at me, her blue cheeks becoming red again.

“Yeah, you’re just so-”

“Three!” I heard voices behind me exclaim before something clung to my leg, back, and head, knocking my hat off.

“Ah got em!” the weight on my head said before I felt something wet on me.

“Me too!” the mass on my leg said as I felt weak pounding on my knee.

“Me three!” the lump on my back added as it thumped me.

“Alright,” I sighed I as I let go of Rainbow Dash, “I tried.”

“T-tried what?” Rainbow asked before I pulled the three weights off of me and held them by their scruffs.

“Oh no! He got us!” Scootaloo said as the three squirmed in my grasp, “Quick, Sweetie Belle! Plan B!”

“Right!” Sweetie said before her horn started glowing and a bright light flashed from it, blinding me and making me drop the three. As I took a step back and rubbed my eyes, the three jumped back onto me from the front this time. Once again, I collected them and held them in front of me.

“Sweetie Belle! Plan C!” Applebloom said.

“Okay!” Sweetie replied as her horn started to glow again. Not being one to fall for the same trick at least twice, I closed my eyes before the flash could blind me and held tight onto the three.

“He’s onto us! Applebloom, Plan G!” Scootaloo exclaimed.

“Which one was that again?” Applebloom asked as she put a hoof to her chin.

“The one with the rope!”

“Oh, right! …I forgot the rope…”

…

“Okay! Plan M!” Scootaloo said.

“Right!” the other two said before all three stopped squirming and their eyes started to water as their lips quivered.

“…Wha-”

“Please don’t eat us, Mister Alex!” the three said as tears threatened to fall. My head dropped as I started to shake violently.

“Uh, Alex? Are you okay?” Rainbow asked, “You don’t have to get so upset, their just fillies.”

“I’m not upset,” I mumbled, “it’s just too much.”

“What’s too much?”

“The cute!” I exclaimed as I suddenly wrapped the three fillies in a giant bear hug, instantly stopping their crying, “I was trying to hold this back but it’s too much!”

“Can’t… breathe!” one of the three gasped.

“Whoops, sorry,” I said as I loosed my grip but kept them close, “I heard you three were cute, but I had no idea you were this cute.”

“You know about us?” Sweetie Belle asked as she spun around and faced me.

“Uh… yeah. The stories of your cutie mark crusading have traveled across the universe.”

“Really?!” the other two asked.

“We’re famous?” Applebloom asked.

“Yeah. Your adventures have inspired others to go on their own adventures and tell their own stories.” Or just make them up.

“Wow, that’s so cool!” Scootaloo exclaimed.

“Yep, so keep it up,” I said as I reluctantly put them down.

“No problem!” the three said as they saluted.

“But, uh… we’re really sorry for attackin ya like that,” Applebloom added as she looked up to me with sad eyes. My lips pursed really hard as I fought the temptation to scoop up the little red-head, but I couldn’t help it and did anyway.

“I couldn’t be mad at a face that cute!” I said as I cuddled and kissed her, making her giggle as she tried to fight me off. The other two laughed as they watched what I did to their friend, making me grab them too and join in on Applebloom’s misery. In the middle of our little tickle-fight, I heard a loud cough that made us stop rolling around.

“Are we still on for hoof-ball, Alex?” upside down Rainbow Dash asked.

“Oh yeah,” I panted, making the three fillies on my chest giggle as they moved up and down, “then it’s a good thing these three showed up. Wanna play with us?”

“Yeah!” the three exclaimed as they hopped off of me and ran to the field.

“Damn, their cute,” I said as I got up and dusted myself off before turning to Rainbow who was looking at me funny, “What?”

“Uh, nothing,” she said as she headed to the field, “let’s play.” After another brief explanation of the rules, we broke up into teams. Rainbow and Scoots versus Sweetie, Applebloom, and me. To put it simply, I got my ass kicked that first game as I was still figuring out the basic strategies and trying to play it like soccer. Eventually I figured that since they’re using all their legs, I may as well use all of mine and ended up winning the second game by carrying the ball the whole time.

As I predicted, Rainbow got upset and demanded another game, with it being only us two. The three fillies quickly agreed after all of the running and jumping we did. We also agreed to there being tackling since it was a little unfair that I could just carry the ball the whole time. After I took off my shirts to keep them from getting any dirtier and Rainbow eyed me up, we started the last game with the fillies being the refs. If I’m honest, it was fucking brutal and pretty much became rugby. Even though she didn’t fly, Rainbow still hit like a truck and actually managed to knock me down, unlike anyone back home when I would occasionally play football. On the flip side, she was easy to put down, if I could catch her.

Because of that, the game went on for two hours with a few breaks here and there; each of us scoring right after the other. I expected the fillies to get bored and leave at some point, but they never did and cheered on both of us somehow. At some point, the ball was back in the middle of the field with the two of us on either side of it, desperately catching our breath as we stared at each other.

“Next… point,” I panted.

“Wins,” Rainbow finished. Like something out of an old western, or anime, we stared at each other, both of us waiting for the other to make a move and finish it. Her impatience getting the best of her, Rainbow galloped towards the ball while I jogged, conserving what energy I had left. When she got to the ball, she did something I didn’t expect; she picked up the ball with her front hooves while keeping herself balanced with her wings and running on her back hooves.

With a smirk, I stopped and got low, prepared to put everything I had into stopping her, but when she about five feet away, she jumped. Luckily, I expected this and jumped half-a-second after her, my hands grabbing the ball as she flew over me. I also expected her to keep flying forward as the ball slipped from her hooves, but she instead held on tight as I dropped back down to the ground and held the ball close to me. Once I landed I took off for the goal as Rainbow just trailed through the air behind me, most likely confused by what just happened. When I was only two or so yards from the goal, she came back to her senses and quickly dug her hooves into the ground, almost tripping me up, but I was still on my feet.

With all the strength I could muster, I trudged the rest of the way to the goal with Rainbow grunting as she fought to hold me back, but it was no use. I made it to the goal line and just fell forward with the ball and Rainbow close to my chest. I landed on my back and Rainbow landed on me, squeezing the ball out from in between us as we laid on the ground chest to chest gasping for air.

“Good… good…” I tried to say.

“Game…” she finished.

“Yeah…”

“That. Was. Awesome!” Scootaloo exclaimed as the three girls rushed over and bounced around us.

“I can’t believe you won Alex!” Sweetie said.

“Yeah! The only pony that comes close to beatin Rainbow is mah sister, Applejack!” Applebloom added.

“Well… I don’t want to… play her then,” I panted as the three bounced a little ways away and started reenacting highlights of the game, “but damn, Rainbow. You really had me there.”

“Heh, same to you,” she said as her head rested on my bare chest, “you might be better than Applejack.”

“Don’t let her hear you say that. Last thing I want to do is play another game,” I said as I started rubbing her back, “We should hang out more often. If I’m honest, the only reason you scored so much is because I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you.”

“W-what do you mean?”

“The way you move is so… beautiful, I guess, and you weren’t even flying. It’s like I said before, you’ve got a nice body, so everything you do just looks great.” …I hate being honest… sometimes.

“… Thanks,” she muttered as she scooted up and kissed me on the cheek before licking her lips, “…Sweet, and salty.” She kept kissing me, continuing at my cheek and trailing down my neck to my chest.

“H-hey, there are kids around here,” I whispered after losing myself for a moment. It took a few seconds for her to realize what she did before her eyes widened and she froze.

“Uh-”

“Applebloom! You ‘round here?!” I heard Applejack’s voice call out, “It’s startin to get late!”

“Ah’m over here with Alex and Rainbow Dash!” Applebloom called back and the sound of beating hooves reached my ears, making me look up and see Applejack galloping towards us. I looked back down and found Rainbow standing next to me, looking away as Applejack got closer.

“Howdy there, Rainbow Dash,” she greeted with a smile when she reached us.

“H-hey, Applejack,” Rainbow replied lamely.

“How you doin, sugarcube?” Applejack asked as she leaned down and nuzzled me, “It’s been awhile.”

“Yeah, been a bit busy,” I replied as I sat up with a grunt.

“Hey, Sis!” Applebloom said as she quickly approached her sister, “You should’a seen Alex and Rainbow Dash! We were playin hoof-ball, and at first it was Rainbow and Scootaloo against me, Sweetie Belle, and Alex, but we didn’t do too good cause Alex didn’t know how to play! But then-”

“Alright, alright! You can tell me on the way back home, it’s dinner time,” Applejack interrupted.

“Aw, do I hafta?” Applebloom pleaded, “Ah wanna stay with Alex!”

“Well, speaking of home, I’ve kinda lost mine,” I said as I put my clothes back on.

“Really? What happened?” Rainbow asked.

“Nothing bad, Spike and I just need some space,” I explained briefly as I finished rolling up my sleeves, “so if you wouldn’t mind, Applejack-”

“Of course you can stay with us!” she answered quickly, “Ah’d love to have ya over!”

“Thanks. Well, let me just walk these girls home and-”

“Don’t worry about it, Alex. I’ll take them home,” Rainbow offered.

“Well, you were one of the girls I was talking about, but alright,” I said with a smirk as I kneeled down and scooped up Scoots and Sweetie, “I’ll see you two later.”

“Yep!” Scoots giggled as she hugged me.

“Definitely!” Sweetie squeaked as she too hugged me before I let them down.

“Alright, see ya,” Rainbow said as she turned and started to leave.

“And where do you think you’re going?” I asked as I held her back by her tail.

“W-what?”

“Where’s my hug?” I asked as I opened my arms. Rainbow’s eyes shifted around for a moment before she slowly floated over and wrapped her hooves around me while I did the same. After a brief but tender moment that I was all too aware of, we released each other and we all went our separate ways. On the way to the farm with Applebloom in my arms, she gave Applejack every detail of our hoof-ball tournament; every exciting and boring detail.

By the time we got to the farm, Applejack got her sister to calm down so that I could meet Granny Smith who was sitting in her rocking chair on the porch.

“Granny, this is Alex. Alex, this is Granny Smith,” Applejack introduced.

“How ya doin, ma’am?” I greeted with a tip of my hat.

“Alex?” she said as she thought for a few moments, “Isn’t that the feller you’ve been makin a fuss over the other day?”

“Uh, y-yes Granny, but that was just a misunderstandin! Ah was just jumpin to conclusions, right Alex?”

“Jumping and bucking, yeah,” I answered with a smirk, “Ma’am, you are aware that despite your granddaughter being the element of honesty, she somehow doesn’t listen?”

“Heheh, you’re preachin to the choir there, sonny,” Granny chuckled, making Applejack’s cheeks turn red, “Well, we can talk about my granddaughter’s hard-headedness over supper, if you’re joinin us.”

“Alex needs a place to stay, Granny!” Applebloom told.

“Oh, does he now? Well, ah think we can take care of that after supper. Now why don’t y’all go and get cleaned up.” With that, the three of us went inside the cozy farmhouse where I followed Applejack to the bathroom. Once the three of us were cleaned up, with me never letting go of Applebloom, we went to the dinning room where an apple feast was laid out. If I make it through this without getting diabetes, I’ll be impressed.

As we sat down, Big Mac walked around the tale pouring what I could only guess was apple juice.

“Hey there, Big Mac. How’s business?” I asked.

“Gughd,” he replied with the pitcher in his mouth.

“Right,” I muttered as I sat Applebloom next to me and waited for everyone to sit down a minute later. Once we had the okay, I took one of everything and proceeded to eat the best meal I’d had since I’d gotten here.

“So, what kinda critter you say you were again?” Granny Smith asked me after a while.

“Hm?” I grunted with a mouthful of apple fritter.

“He’s a human, Granny,” Applejack answered for me.

“Hoo-man? Is that some newly discovered species or somthin?”

“No Granny. He’s from another planet called Earth, right Alex?”

“Yeah, that’s about it,” I replied after a sip of juice.

“What’s it like on Earth?” Applebloom asked as she bounced in her seat, “Are there ponies there too, or are there only aliens like you?”

“Well, there are ponies, but they’re nothing like you guys.”

“Whatdaya mean?” Applejack asked.

“Well for one, there are only earth ponies; no pegasi or unicorns.”

“Cause y’all don’t have magic, right?”

“Yep. The similarities stop at you both being horses, I guess. Humans are the only intelligent species on Earth and we pretty much have all the same animals you have, except for centaurs and the like.”

“Aw, that sounds kinda lonely,” Applebloom whined as she put a hoof on my arm, “don’t y’all get lonely?”

“There’s over seven billion of us, so no, not really,” I answered simply.

“Seven billion?!” Applejack exclaimed as Big Mac choked on his food, “There must be a crazy amount of mares then.”

“Nah, it’s about 50/50,” I replied flatly.

“Really?” Applejack, Big Mac, and Granny Smith asked at the same time.

“Yeah… oh right, you guy have some weird ratio, right? That and you have a matriarchy, which there is nothing wrong with.”

“Y’all don’t have a princess?” Granny Smith asked.

“In my country, no. We have a democracy that doesn’t work half the time because the idiots are too busy yelling and pointing fingers at each other to…” I trailed off as I looked at my host family’s confused faces, “you know what? Politics isn’t a dinner-table discussion, so next question.” The rest of the meal and evening was filled with conversation surrounding my world and the way it worked. At one point, Applebloom threatened to talk my ear off about how stuff worked here, but luckily my basic knowledge was enough to make her think I knew everything. It was a good thing they never asked me how I knew so much and force me to lie and go through a whole thing with Applejack.

When Applebloom started to doze, it was decided that it was time for bed. After I laid her in bed and watched Applejack tuck her in, I started to make my way to the barn.

“And where do ya think you’re goin?” she asked as I started down the stairs.

“Uh, to the barn?”

“Ah don’t think so. You’re mah special guest, and that means ya get to bunk with me!”

“Ah don’t think so, missy!” we suddenly heard Granny Smith’s voice call from somewhere, “He stays in the barn like everypony else!”

“Oh, horseapples,” Applejack muttered as her head and ears drooped.

“Hey, it’s not a big deal. Sure I can’t stay in the house, but that doesn’t mean you can’t stay in the barn with me,” I offered. What? I’m just asking for something to happen now!

“You’re right!” she exclaimed as she perked up, making me shush her, “Sorry! Let’s go.” With her leading the way, we left the house and entered the empty barn where she somehow climbed a ladder up to the loft with me close behind. I don’t know how often they have people staying in there, but the space was fixed up pretty well for me showing up at such short notice. When I finished climbing the ladder, I found her laid out on the hay-bed looking at me expectantly as she patted the spot next to her.

I casually walked over and laid down next to her and once I was comfortable, she cuddled up to me as she laid her head on my chest.

“You’re really cuddly, ain’t ya?” she cooed softly.

“Apparently,” I replied as I put my arm around her, “but thanks for letting me stay here. I’ll probably be out of your hair-er, mane, in a few days.”

“You can stay as long as ya like,” she said as she nuzzled me, “ah don’t know why, but ah feel strangely comfortable around ya.”

“Hmm,” I hummed as I glanced around the loft and spotted a pair of eyes staring at me from under a pile of hay, “…Uh…”

“What?”

“N-nothing. I feel the same way, is all. You’re one of the cutest ponies I’ve met, and that accent? It really does it for me.” Does it really, though?

“Aw, stop,” she giggled as she squeezed me, “keep talkin like that and ah might have to do something to ya.”

“Like what?” I have a pretty good idea…

“Like this,” she said as she looked up and kissed me, holding it for a second before pulling back and blushing, “ya gonna be quiet now?”

“Hmm, I don’t know. I don’t think that’s enough,” I replied with a smirk. …What?

“I was kinda hopin you’d say that,” she purred as she climbed on top of me and started kissing me again. I was strangely into the whole thing as I held and kissed her back, all the while feeling a stirring in my loins. When we had to separate to breath, she slid back slightly and bumped into said loins, making her gasp quietly.

“What do we have here?” she asked seductively as she rubbed herself against me.

“Sorry, I can’t help myself,” I said in an equally seductive voice that I hadn’t used in forever, snapping me out of whatever was going on with me, “but, uh… I got it under control.”

“Ya sure?” she asked as she started grinding her loins on mine, “Seems to me that you could use some help.”

“No, I’m good, really. Besides, don’t we have work to do in the morning?” I said as I slid her off of me.

“Yeah, you’re right,” she sighed as she cuddled up next to me again, “I’ll be fine, but you’ll need all the strength you can get.”

“…Right,” I muttered at her implication.

“G’night, sugarcube,” she said after kissing me on the cheek and laying her head on my chest again. With a sigh, I laid my head down and was about to go to sleep when I heard a rustling nearby. I looked back over to the hay pile with the purple eyes and saw them squinting at me. I just shrugged and they rolled before disappearing in the hay and I fell asleep a few seconds later.

…

“Well, this is new,” I said as I looked over the colorful dreamscape I was standing in. Like straight out of a kid’s coloring book, the hilly fields and meadows were bright pinks, purples, yellows, and blues, with nothing being the color it should be. As I looked across the hills, I spotted a lone gold and pink tree sitting on top of the tallest hill with what looked like Luna sitting under it.

“Guess that’s where I’m headed,” I said as I summoned a jetpack and flew over to her. Within probably half-a-second, I touched down a few feet from her and she turned to me with a welcoming smile.

“Alex the Human, I have been expecting you,” she said as I approached her.

“How ya doin, Princess?” I greeted as I plopped down next to her, “Been keeping busy?”

“Unfortunately, no” she replied with a sigh, “since I did not see you last night, I have been rather bored.”

“Oh really?” I questioned as I glanced around the landscape again, “Then how come we’re not in my dreams right now?”

“Frankly, your dreams are a little too hectic for me, so I though I would bring you here,” she said as she turned her nose up.

“Well, I’ll be sure to calm it down next time. For you,” I said, making her look at me with puffed up cheeks, “where is ‘here’ anyway? I’m becoming a little uncomfortable with how colorful this place is.”

“Do you have a problem with my dreamscape, Alex?” a familiar voice said from above me. I looked up into the pink leaves of the tree and saw Cadence sitting on a branch.

“Hmm, now the obnoxious colors make sense,” I commented with a roll of my eyes. When I blinked, I found her sitting in front of me with a mock angry face before she pounced at me. We started rolling around, wrestling and tickling each other for who knows how long before Luna separated us.

“You two seem to have become good friends,” she said as she floated Cadence out of my grasp.

“Yeah, I guess. It started out rough though, with the beatings and whippings,” I replied casually.

“Cadence! You did not do such a thing, did you?!” Luna asked, appalled.

“Of course not!” she replied instantly before looking at me with an irritated face, “It wasn’t funny the first time so it definitely isn’t funny the second!”

“I don’t know, I think it’s pretty funny they actually believe it, even if it’s only for a second, “I said with a smirk, making her growl, “anyway, as much as I love the scenery, why are we here?”

“Well, Cadence said she wanted to discuss the events that transpired today,” Luna answered as I scooted up next to her and she sat Cadence on the other side of me.

“Ah, right. So do you understand now?” I asked before putting a hand to my chin, “But something was different today…”

“Yeah, that wasn’t anything I expected,” Cadence commented as she got comfortable next to me, “I saw the things you were talking about, but…”

“But what?”

“… I don’t think it was love, but I’m not entirely sure,” she answered with a worried expression.

“What could it be then? I mean, I didn’t think it was love anyway; infatuation or something like that, but definitely not love,” I said as I leaned against Luna, “what could it be that the princess of love doesn’t know?”

“May I ask a question?” Luna spoke up, making both Cadence and I look at her.

“Shoot.”

“What made your interactions with the elements of harmony today, different with the previous encounters?”

“Hmm,” I hummed in thought, “Well, I guess one thing was that I was strangely okay with everything I was saying. Usually, I kinda freak out in my head about whatever crazy thing I’ve said, but those times I was relatively fine.”

“Was there anything you noticed, niece?”

“Well, from what he’s told me, before today he would usually put up a fight and resist the advances the ponies made on him. This time, especially with the element of honesty-”

“Applejack,” I corrected.

“Right, Ms. Applejack,” she restated after giving me a look, “he didn’t seem to fight back at all. In fact, you welcomed what she was implying.”

“Hmm, you’re right,” I said as the memory played in my head, “I wasn’t really aware of it at the time, but I was able to reel it back in, luckily.”

“Luckily, huh?” Cadence repeated with a sly smirk, “You looked like you really wanted it to me.”

“Well, believe me, I did,” I said confidently and Cadence’s smirk grew, making realize what I just said, “wait. That’s not what I meant; I meant ‘really did’… No wait! I meant ‘really didn’t’! Yeah, that’s what I meant…”

“Right, I totally believe you,” Cadence said as she poked my red cheeks.

“I see,” Luna mumbled as I weakly tried to fight off Cadence’s pokes, “I believe I see what is going on.”

“You do?” I asked through my squished cheeks that Cadence was holding.

“”Yes, and I’m surprised you haven’t realized it, niece,” she said wisely.

“What?” Cadence asked as her face became blank but her hold on my face held firm.

“It is lust, is it not?” Luna stated simply.

“Lust?” Cadence and I both said, making her let go of me.

“Lust…” Cadence repeated as she looked down at her hooves in thought and I rubbed my face, “… of course. Of course! Why didn’t I realize it earlier!”

“What? You really didn’t think of that before?” I asked, “I realized lust was a part of this whole thing a while ago, but I just thought it was a small part of this situation.”

“Why didn’t you say anything then?!” Cadence exclaimed as she started shaking me.

“No this again,” I murmured as I was rocked violently, but was thankful I was asleep, “I mean, I did tell you how Twilight and Rarity came onto me. I thought it was obvious.”

“Well, now you tell me!” she said as she kept shaking me.

“I don’t know why you’re so upset. Sure we know what the cause is, but that doesn’t mean we have a solution, do we?” I asked, making her stop.

“Uh… no. No we don’t,” she whispered as she let go of me.

“That’s what I thought, unless you have some ideas, Princess,” I said as I faced Luna.

“Hmm, I do not at the moment,” she said after a brief moment of thinking, “but give me some time and I may.”

“Thanks, Princess. I really appreciate the help,” I said as I petted her head, “oh, sorry.”

“It is not a problem,” she said simply before a slight blush brightened her blue cheeks, “it feels nice.”

“Cool,” I said as I ran my hand through her mane, “so what now? Just keep doing what I’m doing, or should I stay away from everyone?”

“Hmm, I don’t think you need to leave,” Cadence said, “you’ve been doing pretty well so far, so just keep yourself in check.”

“I don’t know how long I can keep that up, though. Like you said, I was kind of giving it to it, to lust. I might need someone to watch over me.”

“Well, I guess I can’t let my foal-sitting skills go to waste,” Cadence said as she sat up and puffed out her chest.

“Ugh, really?” I muttered as I hung my head, “I was kinda hoping Princess Luna would offer her help, but I guess she’s already doing enough, so you’ll have to do.”

“Ugh, well if you’re going to be like that, then maybe I won’t help you,” Cadence pouted as she turned her head.

“Jeez, I was just kidding,” I said as I put and arm around her, “I need help controlling this new power I have and who better a teacher than the princess of love? Love and lust are practically the same thing-”

“No they’re not,” Cadence quickly corrected.

“Okay, their close relatives. But just think,” I said as I put her cheek to mine and waved my hand in front of us, making two copies of us appear except I was dressed in some royal clothes, “the Princess of Love and the Prince of Lust, the two ruling forces on relationships. Though if we say it like that, people might get the wrong idea and think we’re together, so I’ll work on the title. But doesn’t that sound cool?”

“Hmm,” she hummed as she watched the two copies sit down in big thrones, her on her haunches with a warm smile, and me slouched down, legs spread, head on my fist, and an almost evil look my face, “…yeah, I don’t know.”

“Well, I’ll let you,” I punctuated the word by poking her in the nose, “think about it. In the mean time, I’ll try not to rape or be raped.”

“Alright, alright,” Cadence said as she wiggled out of my grip, “when you say it like that, it sounds awful. So, I’ll watch over you.”

“Thanks,” I said as I gave her a grateful smile, “so I was just saying stuff, but do I actually have magic, cause that’d be kickass.”

“Besides the natural effect you have on ponies, I do not believe so,” Luna answered, “but I am sure you can learn to control that and not have it affect your daily life.”

“Yeah, that’d be great. I’ve kept my interactions with others to a minimum out of fear, but it would be nice if I didn’t have to worry about smacking everyone in the face with lust when I first meet them.”

“Speaking of assaulting,” Luna casually transitioned, “the word among my guard is that one of my sister’s soldiers was attacked.”

“Oh? Is that so?” I asked innocently.

“Indeed. In the middle of the day he was struck in the face and had his jaw broken,” the princess detailed, “though I do not believe my sister knows of this, all both of our guards can talk about is how some creature struck down a royal guard in one attack.”

“Sounds impressive,” I commented, earning a nudge from Cadence, “and terrible. Do you know who’s done it?”

“I have an idea,” Luna said as she looked at my innocent face with a raised brow, “but with no evidence and nopony willing to give any details, I am afraid I cannot come to any conclusions.”

“I see,” I muttered, trying my best to not smile, “well I hope the scoundrel is brought to justice. If he deserves it.”

“We shall see,” she said as she stood up, “I will speak to you two later. I sense somepony having a nightmare.”

“Bye, Auntie,” Cadence said as she too got up and nuzzled her aunt.

“Yep, see ya, Princess,” I said as got up and bowed.

“Farewell,” she said before vanishing in a puff of dark smoke and floating away with the breeze.

“Damn, didn’t get a good look at it,” I mumbled.

“A good look at what?” Cadence asked as she lay back down.

“Uh, nothing,” I replied as I sat down next her again, “so what’s the plan?”

“Well, I guess you can keep meeting with the elements like they want, but don’t tell them about any of this,” she answered as she laid her head on my lap.

“Why? What difference does it make if they know I have some weird control over them? If anything, I should tell them so they can try to fight it too.”

“What if one or some of them actually like you for you-”

“I highly doubt that,” I interrupted.

“Me too,” she said before sticking her tongue out at me, “but let’s just say they do. You don’t want to hurt them by accusing them of things that aren’t true, do you?”

“Damn, you’re right,” I said as I thought about it for a second, “damn you females and your complicatedness.”

“Well, darn you stallions and your simplemindedness,” she retorted.

“Good one,” I said sarcastically.

“Thank you,” she said with a proud smile, making me roll my eyes and chuckle. After a few peaceful moments of me running my hand through her mane and the wind playing a familiar little tune, I decided to ask her something.

“Hey, Cadence.”

“Yeah?”

“What’s Shining Armor been doing all this time?”

“Oh, just watching over the Crystal Empire,” she answered somewhat sadly.

“Why couldn’t he come?”

“He was worried the kingdom would be attacked if we both left.”

“I guess that’s a good reason, but I kinda wanted to meet him.”

“I’m sure you will soon. As a matter of fact, why don’t you come back with me? It would be a fun little trip.”

“Sure, why-”

“Niece!” a voice boomed overhead, scaring the shit out of both of us as we hugged each other.

“A-Auntie Luna?” Cadence responded as we glanced around but didn’t see a source for the voice.

“You would not believe who the one having the nightmare was!”

“Who-”

“It was Shining Armor!” the voice giggled, “He was worried he would not see you again.”

“I know he worries, but it’s only been two days since I’ve seen him,” Cadence sighed.

“Well, I thought the stallion could use some comfort, so I am bringing him here.”

“Oh, that sounds nice,” Cadence said as she squeezed me, making me realize something.

“Hey, uh, shouldn’t we let go-”

“Well, here he is,” the disembodied voice of Luna said before Shining just popped into existence before us.

“Cady! I-” he said before he suddenly stopped.

“Shining!” Cadence exclaimed, “I’ve missed you!”

“C-Cadence? W-who or what, is that?” he asked as he pointed a hoof at me. Cadence and I looked at each other, causing our noses to touch before turning back to Shining and letting go of each other. I stood and stepped up to the trembling prince as I offered my hand.

“Hello, Prince Shining Armor. I’ve heard a lot about you from your wife,” I greeted. He just stood and stared at my hand before looking up at Cadence and me strangely when she walked up next to me. I awkwardly dropped my hand as I stood up straight and gave Cadence a confused look that she returned before I spoke up again.

“Soooo, uh… How’s-” was all I could get out before I was bucked in the stomach, sending me flying at the tree behind us and knocking me out cold.

Author's Notes:

So, if you haven't noticed, Alex kinda has blue-balls. I'm not saying it's happening soon, but when the actual clopping occurs, who's should be the first or only? No suggestion is a bad one, since I don't know who should get the Dirty D.